I've never had an addiction that bad, so I can't speak from experience. But, approaching the question logically, we can deduce that you have a rational preference for living, and don't want to masturbate yourself to death. Therefore, there's something fundamentally wrong with your brain and your ability to regulate your behavior, which continues toward a "masturbate yourself to death" outcome.
In other words, the handle by which to grasp this problem would be to rebuild your brain (I would say through meditative practices because I don't know how else you would do it) rather than to somehow white-knuckle through the addiction that you say has destroyed your life. There's some evidence to support this hypothesis:
>Without the prefrontal cortex, we will not have any control over our emotions and will act out impulsively whenever an emotion takes over -- very similar to how animals act.
>She also found a direct correlation between the thickness of the prefrontal cortex and the amount of meditative practice. In other words, more experienced the mediator, the thicker her/his prefrontal cortex.
t. based pajeet: https://www.outofstress.com/meditation-prefrontal-cortex/
As an avid meditator myself, I often feel like a higher version of myself after a 20 minute session, less inclined to make self-destructive decisions on purpose.
