/nofap/ - Fappers Anonymous

>>14144

The things you feel during the first week are probably just "withdrawal". We've become so used to jacking it that our brain just wants us to unload to feel good again. I wouldn't chalk things up to the broad brush of "lol test did it" unless I had it tested. Regardless of whether it did or didn't influence it, I wouldn't expect it to 180 your life or your behavior. It's just a good habit and test of discipline for those of us who are quick to yank our willy.

I'm nearing 1 week myself, but I think the best thing to do is just try and work on the surrounding things in your life, whatever they may be, to distract you from fapping while simultaneously improving other areas of your life.

Sounds obvious, but things don't always have to be complicated. Often it's the simple things that I personally find difficult to do.

>>14156

> Sounds obvious, but things don't always have to be complicated. Often it's the simple things that I personally find difficult to do.

Same here, may we thrive.

Yesterday I sperged out, was hung over and sad, broke my streak of 5 days with a porno lunge and sequential 3 faps. Emptied my balls out, then felt even more depressed and empty inside than before.

Girlfriend let me a week ago, officially reached neet status, so yeah I have to work it out. I have to focus on my motivation, tomorrow will go back job hunting, maintain healthy nutrition and exercises, and avoid fapping throughout the week.

Also started meditation at night, to find some relief of the extreme anxiety and over thinking. Wish me luck bro, I will be reporting in.

Another day, felt really good today, managed to get up early, had a big boner, was dreaming about having fun times with my ex.

So I was pretty sad because of no more gf, and kept overthinking it throughout the day, but managed to get up early, put up the suit and go job hunting.

Didn't go much as expected, since I had imagine I would be able to talk to people and really show my will to work, however many didn't even receive me, and the ones who did didn't really show much hope.

Came back and then sent a bunch more e-mails to whatever I could find in my area, sadly economy here is shit and we have little prospect of improving.

I'm already getting some porn imagery flashing over my head, worst thing now is that I will have very little to occupy my mind with. Hope for me bros.

That's it, I've gone through and deleted most of my porn, nearly 100GB of it, and most of that I've barely ever watched.

I've still kept some few things I really liked, but I went ahead and archived them encrypted with a random password.

Of course this could lead into relapse, but the extra step should be enough for me pull out of it.

I've still got a bunch of smaller clips and pics I've acquired in chan format, its gonna be hard.

And if I must fap to it, I will do my best to do without porn at least. Hope for the best anons.

Had a really though night, meditated, and went to sleep soundly, I had some happy dreaming where I was chasing a girl that really resembles my ex, I woke up around 4 and half in the morning, and was immediately hit with overthinking and sadness over the breakup, couldn't get back to sleep, tried some binaural beats to calm down, suddenly broke into crying and felt some relief, still couldn't sleep though. So I went for it, started masturbating but without porn, used memories of her giving me service, was only half hard but felt good and shot a load all over my chest, I couldn't see but think there was a lot. Then I really was able to sleep afterwards.

Tomorrow its going to make two week since the break up, I've been writing a letter, kinda of a goodbye closure type of thing, but I'm feeling so fucking sad with loss. I've had regained another bad habit through all this, got back to smoking. Guess job hunting and filling my time with good stuff once again, but truly I have very little prospect on what to do with my day besides wasting it.

>>14207

>30 yo are boomers

wow, spotted the youngfag, may life treat you well.

Another day another pain.

Still meditating and trying to occupy my idle time, but its hard. Not having dreams anymore.

Today also had some strong morning wood, felt like masturbating, tried to from imagination alone, its true though what they said in the noporn thread, the pull to watch porn is a much stronger addiction.

But I need to make, I want to see whats on the other side. Strength brother!

Yet another day… another pain.

Yesterday I saw her picture on whatsapp, by chance, I don't if faking a smile, but it sent me in a really bad and sad mood.

The pain still there, anxiety comes and goes. I've literally done all I can to job hunt these days and got no feedback at all. More painful idle time to suffer to, and I know the weekend is going to be even worse.

Managed to get a good session of meditation yesterday, even when I was nearly sleeping, so I'm proud of that.

But still waking up so goddamn early, got no life in my willy but felt the urge to watch porn, its quite real what they've said about porn drawback.

You feel like shit, and the urge is bigger, just plain fapping is hard as fuck, but I went ahead and a did it trying to think of her again.

It was hard and not very pleasurable, but the release was ok, and managed to doze off a bit more.

Guess that makes it a 4 day streak only, but I think better than I was having before at least, I think its time to try for real now, porn addiction is indeed the worst thing, and you don't even feel like fapping, so I should just go for it and see how long I can take.

Reporting back again,

Feeling better even though I get lost in thought and keep overthinking my past relationship over and over in my head.

Managed a good sleep, had another dream, still seems like its her. Woke up pretty early since and couldn't get back to sleep.

Good thing I was planning to go on a bike group thingy this morning, it was nice, getting some fresh air and exercise, not to mention seeing peoples around, got actually happy seeing pretty girls walking around in the morning and even congregating in the church.

Guess that makes it about 10 day of no porn, even though I've succumbed a couple of times to fapping.Don't if anyone around still reading, but I'll keep this as my journal.

I wonder though, if more experienced anons can chime in, do you ever got to sleep soundly again?

>>14233

ahoy, I've actually relapsed, shortly after that same post today,

I was trying to rest, but my willy kept wanting attention, I then quickly start remembering some sweet times my ex again, and indeed memory is getting better, too better for my own sake

tonight I actually went to church, another one closer to me, and sadly the only people there younger than 40 were either children with their parents, or little choir group, didn't have more than 6,

there was one cute girl there but I don't think I'll have any chance, this group really only meets for singing and I'm not really interested in that

I don't really know about the other church either, if it was a event of some sort or they more group activities there, maybe I should check it out

Had another nightmarish night, was really sleepy yesterday, so I lied down and just passed out. Woke up around 3:30 (unholy time), hot and all drenched in sweat, even with the windows all open (its summer where I live). Hard a time getting back to sleep, kept overthinking and got hungry, finally managed to after a couple of hours.

But then still woke up quite early at 7:30, dreamed again I was with her, like we were together but I was clueless not knowing she didn't like me anymore, woke up feeling absolutely terrible, sad and overthinking, the image from when I last saw her keeps haunting me, with mixed feelings of anxiety, anger and sadness. Guess I ain't over my grief period, and perhaps using memories of her succubus body during my solo fap sessions isn't helping.

I still wonder too this also feels worsened by the withdraw of porn, like the lack of those brain chemicals playing a trick on me and making me feel much worse. Today dick also started demanding attention, this time with a much stronger boner too, scenes of my favorites porn kept flashing in my head, but I let it go, the urge to porn itself is indeed very strong and without it, fapping harder.

>>14241

quick addendum,

yesterday during my relapse, I've also felt nostalgia for my long sessions of h-game edging, the sweet sweet devil.

Since I have literally no prospect of doing anything else atm, I'm kinda thinking of getting one last game as a sort of farewell.

I know this shit is the worst, I fell really low on regular practice, and it did actually cause severe ED with real women I could actually be having sex with.

My heart is torn, but I want to get free from this awful devils claws.

>>14207

Good thing that I'm not a boomer, but unironically Gen Z. I'm probably younger than you.

Reporting in, feeling like crap again.

Yesterday I did, not only relapse to porn (a planned farewell hentai vidya that went rather unsatisfying) but I also did check her FB and how she just trying to erase every memory of us.

I've guess I was still in a bit of denial, holding false hope that she would get sad and eventually call me again, truth that its pretty recent still, and that at least she is trying to look like being over me.

The big strike was one of those auto montage FB does about your year, since we practically expend the whole year together she plainly put it all out and only displayed past pictures of her own.

Checking in.

What is is now, 3 weeks from my damned break up.

Yesterday started bad, but better later, went to church, looked for some youth group activities. Then went on group bike ride around the city that lasted quite a while. Great way to burn calories and great way reinvigorate.

I also came to start swallowing a different bitter pill, as I mentioned I was sort of still in denial, hope she would come to miss me and call me, a bad expectation to have.

So all conclude from is that in the end, it didn't even matter, it wasn't really meant to be, I think tried to and fooled me into wanting a full commitment, but when in reality she wasn't ready for it herself. Even thought that maybe I was used as a rebound or perhaps just to get over a bad period of her life. Its not that she knew exactly, but as soon attraction started wavering, eg, the honeymoon phase over, it became evident and she couldn't force it anymore.

So really its about time to accept and move on.

I'm on noporn straight on again, yesterday I relapsed to fap only, still I'm getting daily boners and this can be quite problematic.

Hope the withdraw will go easier on me this time, but I know its gonna be hard. Hold me strong and pray for me brothers!

Alright here is for another day.

I think I'm finally starting to get over the past relationship, starting to feel better and move on.

So I've guess that makes it 3 days no porn still. I'm holding strong but still my problem is some of the side effects of nofapping. Anxiety, sleepless nights.

Today I woke up 6:30 in sweat, that would make it bare 6 hours sleep even when I went to sleep tired, so it can be really troublesome, jacked a dry one off quickly and went to sleep again.

I know it ends up being a side effect of having too much free time, but I can't find anything to fill it with right now, at the very least I have some prospect of starting to work freelance waiter again, this should help me out.

Still exercising and eating properly, lost 2kg this past month.

I’m a bit more than a week in and I’m feeling extremely demotivated. I’ve basically lost my interest in my hobbies. All I can think about is how much I want a gf and basically any woman I interact with makes me feel I want to have children with her. Usually I was basically mgtow and didn’t give a shit.

How long is this phase supposed to last? My productivity has plummeted in the past couple of days.

It sounds like you might be in flatline. A number of people go through a period of demotivation where everything seems to suck. I haven't, personally, but they say it rarely lasts more than a couple of weeks at most.

Yelp, relapse yesterday again, I was pretty bored and kept thinking about that new hrpg I haven't tried yet, and how I really used to enjoy those long edging sessions with it.

Woke feeling like crap again, but managed to occupy my day so far.

>>14257

>>14261

>flatline

guess I'm going through this as well, its a depressive feeling, I think it shows the dopamine spikes we miss out on, and overall it shows how fapping saps how motivation in other areas in life.

I have to make it bros.

>>14265

>Yelp, relapse yesterday again, I was pretty bored and kept thinking about that new hrpg I haven't tried yet, and how I really used to enjoy those long edging sessions with it.

fuck, I know exactly how you feel. Porn + games is such an addictive combo. If it weren't for that shit nofap would be so easy for me.

I've relapsed again, even though it was just one day, I kept wondering were they game would lead to, spent hours edging, 6 in total with yesterday.

That's it, another thing that "into the trash it goes", completely wiped my hrpg collection. No point keeping in there anyway.

>>14261

I went out for dinner last night with a friend and every woman that wasn’t 50+ looked beautiful to me. God damn…

Today I almost fapped to a portrait picture of a trad farmgirl on /pol/

I’m going to make it to 90 days at least, and it’s going to be one hell of a ride. Stay strong.

Hey guys, OP here, feeling like crap again.

Yesterday I was on barbecue/drinks party that my friends used to throw in a lot back in a day. Not so much anymore since he was away in foreign country.

So besides getting piss drunk on wine, I also smoked a fuckton, sung my throat out to the point even my jaw is hurting, and even went to the point of seeking drunk relationship advice.

This girl was telling me try and reach out for my ex, I'm not sure about that, I think we need some more time to get better first (at least I do). Then I went in a spurr about my conservative point of views that might've chocked some.

Anyway, so I came back late last night, slept like crap, woke up before 6-ish and I wasn't able to get back to sleep, rolling around for hours, ended up jacking off twice (noporn) on the hopes of falling sleep again.

No luck, now I'm hungover, with a horrible sore throat and bad night of sleep, still kept imagining porn though. Its gonna be a struggle, but I'm gonna make it.

Here we go again reporting in.

I think I must be masturbating daily now, still I keep getting urges to watch some pornography, with a strong sexual drive and not much relief from coming, still felling crapper than usual, I've guess that's the dopamine withdrawal.

The mixed bad feelings of sadness also got me overthinking about my ex, with the holy day on hand it only made it worse, so I ended sending another sobby message for her.

Guess that makes it only 4 days since my last porn relapse. I'm seriously thinking of succumbing, end of year is such an awful time, and I have nearly no other activity to pass my time and keep me from thinking this shit.

I'm even thinking of reasoning the relapse with wearing it off slowly. And I even considering pulling out my onaholes.

>>14289

I feel ya brother. I feel like its some kind of rubber band effect everytime I have some streak the harder I bounce back like now I got hooked up into webcam whores for some reason when I never did that before

Reporting in again, I can't help but feel like crap, relapsed yesterday again, on a pure off chance that I saw some adult comix and got curious, still been fapping dry nearly daily.

Still having a hard time getting over my ex, feeling lots of angst now, about how could she such a bitch to left me out of nowhere like, if she never loved me that way or was just using me for good feels. But at the same time I get occasionally reminded of how great she was and why I fell in love in the first place.

Regardless, I just want to get over it, I just want to skip over to the future when its bound to be better. Still having very little to do, end of years is such a drag.

The only bright side of my day is that I've been going nearly daily to church, and it bring me peace and serenity, being able to sleep better, been occupying my time with vidya again, and finally started talking with some other girl.

Alright, reporting in again, day 3.

I've actually relapsed twice on the first, but with noporn fapping, things are starting to look brighter, at least I'm realizing now that the breakup was not my fault (completely at least), and that perhaps I'm better off.

So I started taking on self improvement activities again, doing exercises, taking supplements, focusing on the tasks that I need to do. Still without any major occupation feels like I'm sitting on huge amounts of empty time right now, I'm gonna try to occupy it with reading of studying the best I can.

So while I just woke up like crap today, I feel I'm getting better throughout the day. My plan now is to go to at least day 20/01 without fapping, that's my birthday and usually the month before it is always sort of crap. I'm already getting those bad feelings creeping in from the withdraw, its gonna be hard, but I need to make it. I gonna heed the advice in the other thread and try my best to keep lust at check not let me get driven by it.

Pray for me bros. We're gonna make it.

Day 5

Today I had a harder time, had a couple of weird dreams I kept waking up with very persistent boners.

Unfortunately I cave in, but since my main goal is noporn, I'm gonna count as a semi fail only and keep going.

The main point now is not let lust creep in again, weekends are the hardest so I need to keep vigilant.

>>14207

Get a load of this hothead.

I was 16 years old when I first tried doing no-fap.

Reporting back in, day 7 of noporn, and haven't relapsed to fapping since that last post.

Its been going alright, feelings have been more steady and I haven't been getting overly anxious, still wasting a lot of time shitposting around, but also doing what I want, getting things done, scheduling my next test, studying and reading, going everyday to mass.

Today I even got a call about a job interview, not exactly what I wanted, and don't even know if I'm gonna get it, but it can be a good thing to keep occupied and get some money in return.

>>14448

It's good that you're improving. A lot of your posts in this thread are faggotry. If you want a good wife you have to be chad enough that she doesn't want to leave. If a girl leaves you it is on no-one but yourself. Don't fight the boss before you are ready.

>>14450

Sorry, I can see how my posts were faggotry, thing is I was pretty chad and that how I had attracted her in the first place, but went astray all the while falling badly in love with her and her promises of commitment, so in my mind I had it all figured out, a loving girl and a path towards career and family. When she broke up it came as very bad shock and nearly broke me altogether, so you can see why I was so bad.

Been going reasonably well, been feeling a lot better lately, but still keep getting lost in thought about her sometimes, missing her badly. Went to a job interview yesterday and am hoping to find something to occupy myself with, this would be a good opportunity to at least get my monetary situation back in control. Also been holding off strong against porn, lust is creeping in strongly, I've a public boner yesterday after lusting at a girl in the bus (which was a first), and relapsed today again to lusty thoughts in the morning.

Feels reasonably good though, the porn imagery is leaving my mind and instead I'm having more vivid memories coming back, a natural expression of my libido, however still feels bad for not being able to completely control myself, so I hope the longer it goes the desire gets easier to handle.

Relapsed again this morning, again woke up way too early with a persistent boner and lewd thoughts coming to mind.

The desire to watch porn however is pretty low, only now and then I have some flashes and missing it. Does it ever get better?

>>14510

Good luck on your next streak. Also consider deleting all your porn and porn games.

>>14539

>Also consider deleting all your porn and porn games

Already did, I just had found it and downloaded.

Anyway beginning my nofap streak again. Today yet I've relapsed while in bed, this is becoming a real problem, I can barely have enough sleep. About 7 hours total of sleep, when it gets to night I get too tired and go to bed around past midnight, now I'm waking up before 7am, still kinda groggy and sleepy. Considering I have very little to do currently I just keep there rolling trying to sleep more and delving in thoughts and anxiety, this is bad cause it eventually leads to thoughts of lewdness and where I've ended up relapsing in the last week. Guess the solution is to just not hang in there, but get up and start doing something straight up.

Sorry anons, buts its not getting easier it seems, I really want to reach the 21 day mark at least. Pray for me, hopefully soon there will be a job to help me out occupy my time.

>>14549

Try to get off the computer early, like before 9 or 10 PM. I find that my urge to relapse is strongest late at night, so it helps a lot.

>>14550

Sorry if I seem rude, but please read the whole goddamn thing.

I usually can stay off without porn for 10 or so days, but lately I've having trouble sleeping well and end up waking up way too early (a weird cycle I never had before).

So I'm waking up before 7am and with nothing to do I just keep there rolling and hoping to sleep again, this becomes quite a problem after 4 days or so when I start to get very persistent morning wood, then the boner leads me to lewd thoughts and memories and then I fail.

Hey lads reporting in, things have been reasonably better even though I'm still struggling with spare time.

Last relapse to porn was back then in Saturday, since then I've struggling with morning wood (always failing in the mornings while hanging around in bed), but today I was able to resist it. Still don't know how strong porn has a hold on me, with the withdraw getting stronger in the one week mark, even though I've been using it very rarely lately (only relapsed those two times). Fapping without porn helps but not that much, it keeps the motivational deeps much more subtle, however keeps your libido high and may lead to lewder thoughts that can lead to a full relapse.

But anyway that's about it, I'm starting to feel somewhat more balanced, and will keep reporting back, mostly for my own sake. Birthday is coming up this week and hopefully everything will get better then.

Been having some really rough time lately, I dunno what it is about, but feeling like crap and barely able to sleep, I'll just quote what I had just posted on /christian/

I've been somewhat successful in cutting off porn (still relapse but further and further apart), I'm being pretty bad at cutting off masturbation, even though the desire is starting to cease, I still feel pretty bad and agitated.

For example last night, I went to sleep around 23:30, was pretty tired and was able to sleep soundly, however I woke up at 5:00, it was still pretty dark with my window open (I leave it open because its so dang hot where I live), even with the proper conditions for me to continue relaxed sleeping to at least 7 or something.

I kept rolling in bed for a long time, got up, went to pee, drank some milk, still couldn't get back to sleep, eventually I just jacked a quicky off so I could relax a bit and doze off.

I don't know if this lack of sleep is related with my attempt to kill off the addiction, I'm also cutting off on smoking this week, or if it is related with general anxiety for other issues that have been troubling me.

Still trying to improve myself in the best ways possible right now, working out, praying a lot, reading a ton, going to mass daily, I think I'm successfully filling my time most of the day, but the lack of sleep in the early mornings really kills me and tempts me more into faping.

>>14558

>Sorry if I seem rude, but please read the whole goddamn thing.

You mentioned going to sleep late, I assumed you were up late on the internet or gaming. If that's not the case then my bad.

>Sorry if I seem rude, but please read the whole goddamn thing.

Does praying help? I'm not religious, but I find reciting the phrase "I see you, Satan" whenever I have sexual thoughts has been very effective.

>>14595

>Still trying to improve myself in the best ways possible right now, working out, praying a lot, reading a ton, going to mass daily, I think I'm successfully filling my time most of the day, but the lack of sleep in the early mornings really kills me and tempts me more into faping.

Er, I meant to quote this part in the second half

>>14595

here mate this what I meant from

>>14549

> I can barely have enough sleep. About 7 hours total of sleep, when it gets to night I get too tired and go to bed around past midnight, now I'm waking up before 7am, still kinda groggy and sleepy. Considering I have very little to do currently I just keep there rolling trying to sleep more and delving in thoughts and anxiety, this is bad cause it eventually leads to thoughts of lewdness and where I've ended up relapsing in the last week.

And yes prayer kinda helps, I keeting busy and getting more stuff to read, like church texts and gospel music. Still it didn't help today.

Failed to hentai vidya again yesterday, always on the weekends. Feeling like crap, I just start automatically browsing some pictures and looking for games, spend a good portion of the day yesterday doing this again.

Even though when I finally got to play something, went for nearly one hour and a half and barely any ecchi content at all (besides an occasional upskirt). Just browsing through the previews got me going and by the end of the night fapped to that.

Today I'm feeling unfocused, spent, sad and anxious.

This is actually worrisome since, hentai vidya is much, much worse than regular porn in some manner, because of the extended exposure period and hooking.

It was vidya that got me through some really addictive times in the past as well, and the major ED leading cause.

I'm actually thinking of resorting to traditional porn until I can let go of it completely.

Its my birthday lads, yaaaay:,(

Today was a busy day, this kept me from even tempting, but since this date, I finally got the courage to talk to my ex again. Sadly nothing happy seemed to come out of it, there is no way around it, she won't chose me a male anymore. At least now I can see, it wasn't entirely my fault, and I can finally get some proper closure.

Reporting back again, today I woke feeling like a loser, felt like giving up and relapsing to porn, thought I would make a "shit week" of sorts. You know when after something like a break up you just let yourself feel shit, submerse into the feelings and let it consume you, until finally you get fed up with it and is ready to come back out.

Come to think of it I didn't get that early, because I was somewhat under the illusion of getting back, so I pushed through it, kept working hard and tried to go straight to improving myself again, without giving time to feel the pain and heal.

So that was the idea from today at least, so I unpacked back my porn collection and kept furiously browsing through it, fapped some 5 times already I think, feeling dirty but numb at least. I think this may be one way to do it, overdosing myself with it so I can't possibly do it anymore in the following days. So I already got rid of it again, this time also blocked out all danger sites to visit, not that I would usually visit them often, but it is a risk.

But yeah, I felt the pain and its time to move on. guess its time to start for real my nofap year.

>>14629

Did you really delete your porn, or did you just compress it again? You have to delete it. And delete any accounts on porn websites. And do the thing with hosts files in that other thread.

>>14632

I did just keep it compressed still, also got a site blocker for my browser. To be honest the archive wasn't really a problem that much, all the times I've relapsed since the last month were due to hentai vidya which I was downloading at the spot.

My "idea", was to just down myself in the misery and overdose with it, you know like after a breakup you just sit at home all day, eating crap and masturbating. And then wear myself off by limiting solely to some softcore female only action. I however realize now that I don't really to do that, but go full cold turkey.

I'll take advantage that I'm feeling down, and really spent from yesterday to take a rest and steer clear from it.

This was just a severe lack of motivation that stricken me, but after feeling the emotional downs and even worse motivation I don't want to stay like this at all.

Okay, day 2 holding strong, yesterday was pretty nice, am managing to get myself through and feeling occupied, I have that feeling of really doing something to improve my life with, like reading meeting friends and taking activity in church (not much else I really can do atm).

I still have bursts of anxiety though, and over thinking over my ex even though I thought I could finally get closure. It doesn't help that I still feel and think of her as an ideal wife material. I keep trying to magnify her negatives points, but still doesn't stand, the only thing stuck is that wasn't ready for the commitment.

Keeping myself intentionally away from the PC also helps a lot to, trying to to stay away from distractions that spurr my motivation (vidya and porn). I'm sure it will get harder and harder though, this should make 10 days after quit smoking, still am using a vape with a rather harsh old nicotine, and today I'll make some new with no nicotine at all, it will definitely be hard. Pray for me brothers, that I stay strong in my course.

Reporting in, so three days since my last post, feels like I'm getting better.

However, after 5 days nofap and noporn, on a slow saturday as usual, things are getting hard, and I mean a specifically thing.

Lewd thoughts keep popping up, either of natural or pornographic nature, I feel incredibly more distracted by vain thoughts, feeling anxious and agitated.

There are also some spurrs I get to check porn, I've quickly looking at thumbnails, either from erotic or hentai. I honestly don't know what is harder at this point, to let go of pornography or of fapping itself, of course they both complement each other, inducing the other one.

Felt good yesterday to finally confess of sin and addiction to this lust. However it just made me feel much worse after because of the temptation that came over me.

Still having the will to hold on, haven't even yanked my willy, though its getting sensitive and I'm feeling like massaging and touching my balls a lot.

As usual I could some help here, some advice on when the dreaded temptation hits.

Okay reporting in, as you can imagine in my last post, I was present with dreaded temptation, but haven't given in since. I'm having regular erections, however I'm feeling much better in comparison, but let's see when the dreaded flat line hits again. Though I've been deep in much prayer than before and as result, also feeling much more serene.

Ok finally I'm able to report here with some break through. Finally passed the 7 day mark, this may not seem much but its quite a record for me, I really fail to see the last time I was able to get this long without ejaculating.

And right now I'm still not feeling overly aroused, but instead with a constant feeling of depression and hopelessness. Yesterday was the worst, but at least today I've found strength to carry on.

> 4 days since last report

> 12 days since last fail

Ok, I've failed yesterday, and if you followed the 2019 thread you probably know of my drama, in the last few days I've jsut started to succumb more and more to playing hgames, even though I didn't feel particularly aroused. My humor just kept going up and downs, reverting to that severe depressed feeling, motivation started to plummet and I felt like doing nothing else.

However I'm quite proud I was able to get this far to begin with, this may not seem much, but was a record for me, as I can't remember the last time I've been so long with jacking off, at least without having regular sex. Another thing is that I was able to jack one off and leave it at that, and not completely succumb and empty my balls out all at once.

But this is yet another show of dangerous porn is, I relapse again to h-gaming, even though I didn't felt quite aroused and sometimes even disgusted at nsfw material I saw, but I just wanted to spend some time with it, to feed my brain dopamine on the sole chance I could get to see some anime tiddies.

At this stage I honestly don't know how can I wear myself off this addiction, either be limiting my self to real porn and easing off less depraved stuff, doing the opposite and just keep wearing myself off hentai slowly, or just plainly fucking off porn altogether and allow myself to dry fap every once in a while.

Ok reporting in, 6 days since my last fail.

I was feeling angst, this is was one of those weeks where I rather feel more aggressive than depressed, so overly distracted and thinking of sex all the time. I knew this was bad but I had to give in, at least with no porn during this morning, it was quick, more like a precision excess liquid spill if you will, kinda like a planned wet dream.

Felt relaxed afterwards, and kinda immediately got an erection soon after, so for sure it wasn't a complete empty my balls thing, but at least I feel I can get through with my stuff for another couple of days.

Last time I tried dry fapping it didn't go so well because I kept yearning for that degeneracy, however right now I must keep away from porn at all costs.

>>14961

>planned failure, another farewell to this degeneracy

A final full indulgence before I deleted all of my pornography worked for me.

Hello again, folks, at the very least I'm getting to feel really proud, of lowering the posting frequency of coming and 8ch in general, I've guess its a sign I'm getting used to at least reach the 1 week mark, and not make a fuss about it, doesn't seem like much but is quite a mark for someone like me who used to fap every other day.

I'm feeling good right now and not missing it that much, however I'm starting to get pictures and memories popping up in my, thankfully they are mostly about real life experiences, however this also means it involves memories of my romance, which also tends to make me feel extremely lonely, missing the intimacy and good sex relief which would happen in times like these.

This of course poses a problem, because this feeling of loneliness really kills me, specially when it comes around the weekends, and the usual distractions like vidya and activities only make it worse. The only plus side I've guess is that its really pushing me to get out of my comfort zone and try new things and meet new people, something that's been going surprisingly well lately. But beyond that this feeling really gets me in a bad spot missing my ex-gf, I'm nearing the point where I must call her again, but the worst is oscillating between hating her and desiring her again, its that spell that drives me crazy.

But anyway, meditation and praying have been working wonders, three hail Mary everyday after waking and before sleeping, plus some other prayers. I'm actually feeling lucky from some stuff happening, however I can't shake this bad feeling off, you know? One thing to note though, this one girl at church, that is pretty attractive and always dresses like the best bombshell, is also driving me nuts, every time I see her, the charm gets to me and I act like a school boy.

Sorry for rambling, guess I'm a bit asleep and lost the filter

>>14963

Oh and sorry for forgetting to reply, but yeah hopefully I can leave this stuff behind.

Unfortunately today has been yet another one of those days where I start to lose my mind. My dick isn't demand attention yet, but I guess my porn withdrawal is kicking in, I'm feeling distracted, fluctuating feelings of anger and sadness, kind pent up energy that I don't where to redirect to. But keep in mind I'm already trying to do a dozen things to improve my life in general, the problem is the ones that actually manage to do aren't that productive.

As usual, any help during this stage is welcome. I want to live to at least past the dopamine normalization period, and at least where I can wear off from porn for good.

Already 7 days since my last report, I'm happy to say however I've been holding strong since the last time. Lent is around and I'm feeling motivated with it, however I've been feeling rather lazy and complacent with my other objectives, like haven't gotten back to working out, have been over sleeping quite a lot, demotivated in finding work, and all the usual depression signs. I've guess the only thing keeping me at bay right now is the constant prayer and meditation.

Some good idea came over me during sleep, just on ash Wednesday, that of hiking atop a mount this weekend, and spending the night there in fasting, meditation and prayer, only to come down the next day, which will be Sunday, with a good heart lunch. I'm worried though about how this could work out, I've though of bringing materials to make a camp fire, and perhaps a blanket and pillow, plus lots of water. Still I'm worried about falling asleep in a rather uncomfortable way, but I guess that's part of it.

Ten days already, the weekend has been a breeze, for a change, I went with my own to spend the night in the wild and it went nearly perfect. However today I've been hit with some rather persistent boner again, demotivation hit hard, thoughts about my ex starting creeping out on my head again, and I just feel like staying in bed and doing nothing.

I plan to carry on, start doing exercises again but I'm feeling super tired still, pray for me Bros, this is a hard path, and I'm not even sure about making it through lent anymore.

>>15079

watch varg and golden one. nice motivation from them.

>>15306

If you get the urge, just don't look at porn. It may be hard, but you'll get the hang of it. Almost at day 100 here.

>>15311

It's not exactly the urges that I'm getting, but missing the feeling of being aroused and horny, missing the feeling of boobies. Though I know deep down that relapsing to PMO going to help for real, like it won't fill my need for real intimacy and womanly contact.

This is where I think I've made a real break through, and I can say that hack book helped me. Worth mentioning too, today I woke up with a weird dream, that I was fapping somewhere, not sure where but seemed public, I felt that I wanted to fap and orgasm but couldn't, and then woke up with that feeling and a light hard on, pretty weird.

>>15214

Varg is an autist in the woods and the golden one is an ugly narcissist, take everything they say with a grain of salt.

>>15318

Interesting, I can relate a bit, but in my mind all "urges" are tied together. Link the the "hack" book?

>>15322

Its in the the 2019 thread, >>15260

And speaking of which, I was just now organizing stuff, moving books to my tablet, when I got dazed and skimming through some ero manga books.

My dick got painfully hard again, this is becoming more frequent and as it usually happens, could lead to my downfall. So I guess my "drought" is over and temptation knocking at my door again.

How long till lent is complete again?

once you do no fap you realize that wanting to fap is a good sign, low energy periods were youre not that horny aren;t that great i've noticed

>>15343

April 20th AKA Holy Saturday

You still got around a month to deal with this. Start by deleting your porn and do push ups as soon as possible whenever the urges kick in.

These two days just flew by, this makes it officially a new record, 21 days of nofap. So in theory the amount of time it usually takes to reach baseline, that is, reset dopamine and hormone levels. And indeed I feel like a woke up differently today, I can't tell if I was a flatline period, or if there is something worse to come, but today I woke up more refreshed, like I had really rested and didn't struggle to get up for the first in these couple of weeks. But at the same time with a very lively dick, I also it starting to hurt, my mind is playing tricks again, wanting to look at lewd material and even entertaining the thought of masturbation and using one of my onaholes. So its definitely going to be a hard month ahead.

>>15344

Tell me about it, I think this is something new learn that us fap abusers don't realize easily. That is, if you're not really into nofap but just seeking temperance, to really just wait until you're feeling aroused, where as the fapper just keeps doing it regardless, further worsening his condition.

>>15351

Already got rid of most of my porn, and regressed quite a few steps in degeneracy, but most importantly, it seems I have killed that habit to instinctively choke my cock at the first signal of arousal. I guess the struggle now is to get used with that feeling, and not let the arousal get to strong that it gets uncontrollable.

Again, gonna referring to that book I've mentioned, the point is that relapsing to fapping will not really make me more relax or entertained, but just will kill my arousal and crash my mood, this is the biggest mind trick we need to get over. Plus gonna look into that stuff about practicing sex without without orgasm, cause I know its going to be a problem eventually as well. Speaking of which, changing my perspective about relationships, and leaving the sexual part of it as second hand instead being a big focus.

Anyway, thanks for the brothers, I hope we get more veterans coming around more often again.

Day 28

Another week goes by, this was a hard one, not entirely to temptation though, I still used to read manga daily just get a bit of arousal, still feeling very lazy due to being on a restrictive diet, didn't get much done but at least manage to study all I had to.

Then arose some really bad feelings of loneliness and missing intimacy, specially a spike of angst towards my ex and how it ended.

Now it seems to have stabilized once again, maybe a new flatline coming along. I have to say though, as I still feel bad mostly of the time, I do react much better when talking to people, like less of introvert, everywhere I go people seem to look up to me, and most importantly, I get a whole lot more of enjoyment just talking to people and in the little things that I get done.

I've ceased reading the ero manga, and while I still have some nostalgia temptation to look into porn, I'm feeling like its now easier to just let it go. On another hand, these last couple of days I've been indulging in a another old addiction of mine, that of tobacco. Just today I brought out another big bag so I can hand roll my own instead of buying the filthy ones. An old habit of mine that always seems to come back when I stop working out.

But feeling good, tomorrow will be another busy day, I look forward to working with the kids in catechism, maybe have a gathering with the church friends at night, so definitely at least something to look forwards to.

Stay strong.

Day 37

Yet another week passed, lent is nearing its end, its funny that its quite a ride apparently expected, something that the church guided through. The beginning is full of penance and sorrow, you feel the weight of your wrong doings and start strong in fasting, around the middle you're full of sadness and grim, this is when temptation strikes strongest and you have second thoughts but still goes through, and now around the end is like you have a newfound glory, a new taste to life and faith, gone through the worst and now is looking forward with hope of good times to come. When Easter finally comes, to celebrate all the happenings of that week and the rebirth of Christ, with that, your own rebirth into faith and motivation.

Anyway, enough with the babble, while there hasn't been any real progress, still a filthy broke weeb, still lonely and longing for female touch, still hopeless without any hint of a bright future, I'm holding strong on nofap, been consuming very pornography, and overall feeling much better with that. The downside of the week is that I've definitely gotten back to smoking tobacco, and with it, gotten really sick early in this week, with a sore throat and runny nose still today.

>>15564

Integrate developmental hobbies/activities into your smoking habit.

Has worked well for me when I've relapsed.

A great book, chess, light exercise rituals as requisite for a cig & house chores, whatever.

Assign every last cigarette a purpose.

80/20 rule : allow yourself to relax once enough has been done during the day & just smoke.

You'll realize what sort of relationship a man really has with tobacco.

You might give it up, might buy it unprocessed, you might grow your own.

It's the passivity that'll kill you, far sooner than tobacco.

Break your probability matrix

That's the only way to wield your free will.

Smoke up

or dont

Day 44

>>15689

Funny things I kinda already do this, way back in a day I decided to drop off regular cigs in favor of self made roll up tobacco. It tastes better, satisfies more, but in the end its just the same shit.

Even though I couldn't for the heck of me get back to using old smelling cigs, but right now even this rolled up is bad for me, and I mean I feel the bad taste, it messes up my breathing, and it even tastes like shit immediately after a few puffs.

The reason I quit it a couple of years was exactly because of breathing and when I wanted to get /fit/, however I replaced the habit with vaping, so I kept hooked on the nicotine, always resorting back to tobacco. I managed to quit all nicotine for a couple of months this year, but relapsed with same thinking: hey I will just have a couple every once in a while to relax a bit (which is also a relapse trap on nofap). The problem is that I brought a bag of tobacco, and just can't keep myself from using it regularly, I feel really good after hours not using it, but soon the addiction craving kicks in and I'm reminded that I don't really want it, it doesn't as well that I have so much free time lately.

But anyway, regarding nofap, 44 days a big record, but today I had a specially hard time with it. Woke up thinking a lot about sex, really early btw so I just stayed in bed meddling with it, nearly fapped until I got up to go to the special mass celebration. The rest of the day I was very miserable still, and its come to the point where my mind is bargaining with me, playing tricks, with the end of lent, so that I might enjoy some sort of celebratory fap. I'm even thinking of picking up my old onacup, something that I could enjoy and get more satisfaction of, and my mind tempting me with "if I don't use porn, its ok".

But I'm dearly afraid of losing everything I've achieved so far, this is the only real reason I haven't relapsed yet. I've gotten better at refraining from arousal material, consuming less and less possible stuff that might cause me a hard. Still, I'm craving intimacy so hard, with mood swings going very bad, today was such a day, and my mind playing tricks once more, thinking that since I have to perspective of finding someone atm, I might as well just cave in and enjoy myself.

To conclude, heck I don't know, I maybe just having a bad day, a bad night of sleep, feeling tired and with a headache. It sometimes just feels like I'm giving so much to make things works, yet nothing gives in return, my situation is pretty grim still, no perspective at a proper job nor at a relationship, no sight where things will start to get better, and that is biting away my will. And on top of that, I'm smoking away my health, making things even worse for myself. I don't know bros, maybe some words of encouragement?

>>15728

Listen man, you got this. You need a good hobby to spend your free time on. Try and find one that suits your interests

>>14207

>haha look at all these losers falling for not being a degenerate!

>haha don't they know when you touch your wee wee it feels good?

Day 48 (I've guess)

Lent is ending, holy shit seems like time is flying past, while on one hand it seems like I've lots of shit this year, at the same time it also feels like I've accomplished nothing still. Still no job, still no women, still not even getting over my ex (sometimes I get very salty in thought).

And as lent ends, I had thoughts about a planned relapse. In my last report I said how I started having a really hard time, the next day I literally dreamt I was fapping, waking up just when I was about to cum, then proceeded to have a real dog's day, playing Rimworld all day long and feeling miserable. It was quite a miracle that I didn't relapse just then, even with the raid lewd pictures plastered all over. I thought I would continue to have miserable days, but to my own surprise I had actually very nice and productive days since.

>>15800

Checked, and you wouldn't believe how many hobbies I already have, one is hand crafting wire jewelry chains, another is that I'm trying to make homemade candles and cut glass bottles to fit them. I'm looking to sell them but then if I had enough costumers I wouldn't make as compared to a proper job. Its come to the point that even struggling to get enough time for vidya.

>>15728

>>16442

There are ways to make money online. Mechanical Turk for instance. You can do mindless tasks on that to distract yourself and earn some sort of income at the same time. There are other ways as well. You are wrestling so hard because you do not see an end, you do not see a prize, or a goal.

Treat yourself like someone you love. Love yourself man. Treat yourself like someone you love and imagine what you want that persons life to be like in 5 years, and in 10 years. Build backwards. Visualize the stepping stones.

The desire for intimacy is very strong. It is hard to form relationships with women currently because this culture teaches us to treat each other poorly. At the end of the day, we're all hurt, and scared of being hurt again. I guarantee you there is a girl out there with a broken heart struggling with lust in a similar manner. I'm not saying you should white knight anyone, I'm just saying you're not alone if you look at the bigger picture.

Why not do an apprenticeship? Why not apply to an apprenticeship somewhere across the country? You may not have work where you're at, so if you want to grow as a person, it will require you uplifting your roots. After you have acquired a skill and some income you can resettle somewhere else. Don't be afraid to go out into the world. It is calling you, I promise. Even if you have to live out of a car for the first couple of months. There is even a couch surfing app you can use. Do not allow yourself to be trapped in a cage in such a way. Free yourself. Love yourself. God Bless, anon.

Day 0

Yelp, was about to be day 53, but yesterday late at night my curiosity got the best of me and started looking at ero manga, my dick was hard as diamonds and all it took was a couple of yanks and it came out pouring everywhere.

I have to admit to have a couple mixed feelings about this, for one that my thing still works and it was quite cool to see such a jet. But on the other hand it didn't feel as fulfilling and it feels bad to relapse like that, I was aiming for a planned fap where I could use my ona and just enjoy, but this felt like I lost control instead.

Though I'm no where near as depleted as the usual PMO session, I see how much of a hold porn still has over me.

>>16518

Got anything special planned for 1 year of nofap?

So let me just share my regret, its been a week since my first relapse, and a bad week at that. Since then I've fapped another two times, and to my regret couldn't even get to use my onacup.

Last time was yesterday, and I wasn't even aroused, but kept forcing it, searching for more and more hentai, seeking that dopamine rush. The curse is real, once you go down pornography you just can't keep a steady level, but need to keep sinking down the rabbit hole to the rush going. When I noticed, I was downloading several different hentai and skimming through them, wasting hours while at it.

So here we go again, day 1.

Gave up on the onacup idea, at least until a good opportunity arises, my biggest problem now is ridding myself of the pornography vice hole. Its easy now but I know it will get harder, at least I didn't resort downright hardcore yet, but the slightest hint of a grabbed tit really entices me up. But I just need to get back and focus about how good it felt being master of my own domain.

>>16630

You're done with the computer for the day

>>16631

What does that even mean?

But anyway, held on to my last post >>16630

Which funnily is exactly was week ago, now they say that is only a matter of loosing something that you start to want it more, said and done, I was incredibly horny the first few days, but I was surprisingly busy with my craft, and got by easy, not even craving pornography.

Though yesterday something weird happened to me, had my first wet dream since I was a teenager, had sort of slop weekend, drinking on friday and splurging on pizza the next day, then indeed I looked at some lewds. I then passed out from being sleepy, waking up in the middle of the night with the wet dream.

Felt good to be honest, though in the dream it seemed much more intense then it really was, and there wasn't that much of a mess at all, just a quick underwear change.

Not sure how I feel about, but I guess shouldn't count it as a relapse after all, but I did feel some sort of relief, and I am kinda glad to get one of these after such a long time.

wow time just flew past.

Day 14

Two weeks went by pretty fast, though I somehow thought I was already on my third. But also the wet dream seemed to have some sort of effect, but one that I could quickly rebound from it seems.

I didn't feel so enthusiastic last week, but right now I feel much more aware and got back the ability to be in the moment, more outgoing/social.

Can't say I'm all that well though, I still have constant wonders about peeping at porn, and dreaming of the day, if I ever get to see bobbies again. Nearly even the smallest things are enough to bait me in that mindset, though I don't even close to that constant arousal.

With regards to other areas, I've been gladly working my ass off, and feels like I'm starting to get some rewarding feedback. But I've been slacking off in getting back to a reading schedule, including finishing the nofap hackbook and all that stuff about semen retention (guess right now they don't seem as interesting). Also going on with the smokes, just brought more tobacco today, and not happy about it, but its basically one of my sole escapes as of right now.

>>16745

Great job anon! I hope to see you free yourself from the shackles of this pluage.

>>16751

Thanks for the encouragement (holy crap, that reply was three days ago, felt like it was just yesterday).

But today I was visited by the succubus again, don't know exactly what happened, but woke up in the middle of the night (probably near morning), with a heck of a hard on, couldn't get back to sleep and get without lewd thoughts, even began to stroke it, was pretty close to cumming when I finally decided to get up to pee. It was likely just a "middle of the night full bladder" situation, but still it took quite a while for my erection to settle down, and its not good to get near my limit, when it gets like this its only a matter of time for a relapse.

>>16792 By the gods, luck begets you! If you use a android phone, get the app "keep me out" and set it to lock you out during your sleeping schedule if you use a phone for mischevious purposes. I'm glad you had the strength, i would not when I'm half awake with urges.

>>16798

Sorry to disappoint you (and specially myself)… but….

Day 1

I got myself in that dreaded state of constant arousal and distraction, to the point where every break between activities would get me thinking about it. I could bear it, but the desperation was getting worse with a more painful boner each time.

So when some alone time opportunity came up and I went onacup relief. I guess there is a positive side to this, that it was so quick and bland, that besides the orgasm relief, it wasn't worth it at all. So I'll be shelving the toy again for good.

Unfortunately no major developments in my personal life either, I think that's what most endangers a streak. That feeling that you're fighting on, giving something up, but nothing is really improving. Which is of course a lie, I was just about getting my head clear and more outgoing again, its just annoying that the opportunities don't seem to come at the right time.

>>16811

Reporting back, on day 10 already.

Had a pretty hard weekend, I didn't notice but the loneliness striking pretty hard, and with that I felt the need to ready some manga to distract me a bit. Some ecchi and hentai stuff later, and I nearly blue balls walking dead again, stayed a couple of days like that, fortunately seems to have passed now, but that need to peek is quite strong still.

Pray for me bros, I want to make it, but its not like life is making it easier, just yesterday I found out I might as well forget about my crush, the girl I had in mind, and feeling pretty down right now.

>>16892

If YOUR just spending your energy fornicating like some sort of heathen you'll barely get benefits

>>16898

>spending your energy fornicating

No, I haven't been with any since the breakup with the wretched of my ex, back since november, you can read it up though I probably soaked a lot in these comments.

But I do have that tendency to peek at lewds from time to time, and speaking of which, today I had a strong urge to browse some porn, and happened to find a slut actress that a very similar body appearance with the witch of my past, a very voluptuous body that haunts me still.

It was a very mixed feeling and shameful erection, but the urge kept me looking for more and now I'm sorry to say, but this is the place to share my anyway, so day 0.

The worse problem I see now is still the urge to peek and seek lewds, I've guess porn has a strong hook on me. Even though I can hold without desire for some time. However after some time in, after when everything is seemingly fine, I start to miss the lewds, I miss the feeling of being horny itself. This is my last barrier still.

Man if you start to edge, just keep telling yourself how disgusting it is. You will very quickly have urges to stop.

>>16909

I know, I don't even want to edge (I was able to restrict touching for a good while there), but the peek is bad, and once you're hooked its hard to let go.

>>16905

And just to complement, I'm still not sold on the whole semen retention thing, and to be honest I don't even think I could do it. Though for sure I've seen positive aspects, so I'm looking forward to reading a book on the subject soon.

Reporting in, I think I failed last just after my last comment, however somehow I managed to completely get over it for the last week, so day 7.

It was relatively easy, but today I got really irritated and grumpy, without realizing why, I've guess I'm starting to suffer a bit of a withdrawal, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

There is one thing though, I really didn't enjoy the last time, I'm getting into that frame of mind where I really don't enjoy it anymore, deeply I just want real intimacy and love with a woman, and now I have a real reason to stay away from the shit.

So pray for me brothers, since I know it will still get a bit harder before I can come back stronger. Godbless and stay strong.

>>16974

Time is flying by. Another week, another day, and here I was wondering why I am feeling so last lately, guess it's another flat line, no joy, no horniness, to the point that it makes me want to check up porn just so I can get the feeling of being aroused again. But it's being good though, over clearer mind I even got rid of the filth porn I got during my relapse.

I'm holding on strong, though I'm extremely demotivated about everything else. As usual just reporting in, and a memo to keep strong for any struggling brothers out there, to day 14 and beyond.

No really feeling much like writing, but I feel the need to report back.

I failed last Saturday, which will already make 6 days today. I was the one that posted on the 2019 thread about cumming without even fapping, I was pretty confused on that one, but since my arousal was high, I couldn't help but fap later that same day.

I felt really bad and lazy afterwards, about my own weakness, and specifically spiral of feelings that led me to that, I was horny of course, a strong urge right after coming back from a flatline, very confused, because I managed to cum from pelvic movement alone and that pretty strong, but also frightening that perhaps I got too sensitive, and finally I was really depressed because I was feeling extremely letdown from a girl.

Still in shame I confess my sin, so that I may be stronger.