Hi, first time posting on this board but no stranger to no fap. Almost 4 weeks ago I decided to start no fap due to various reasons, mainly that I've been a neet for years and gonna get my first job soon so porn and fapping are the last thing in my list of priorities. Let me start by saying that my porn tastes are extremely vanilla and softcore, by that I mean I only masturbate to erotic pictures of beautiful nude women just posing for the camera, think metart domai or atk websites, on rare occassions I masturbate to videos of the same kind, very rarely I masturbate to man-woman hardcore and even then it can still be called softcore as it's nothing extreme, just 2 persons making love. This means the escalation issue was never an issue for me, because it's me imagining myself fucking the girl and the beauty of her in the pictures what makes me hard so the more extreme the act the more it grosses me out. Since about 2 years ago I've been masturbating on average 2 times a week, sometimes 3 times in a day and then I go weeks without masturbating and all this without much effort. Now, part of what has helped me in that is that I have had a cum OCD for years, the ritual involves thoroughly washing my cock and hands afterwards, this is very bothersome and makes me rethink if masturbating is worth the 1 to 3 hours I can waste in the entire process of finding something to fap to and wash myself afterwards, this means I only masturbate when im really horny as it should be, plus because I wash my hands with harsh detergents I've developed mild dermstitis (skin irritation). Basically my OCD and dermatitis acts as an unintended brake in my masturbation, making me think what a fucking chore each time I do it. Because of that OCD and another mental OCD I developed distaste to masturbation, if it were for me I'd gladly kill my fapping urges. I thought of a solution and thought what if I fap to exhaustion, "empty the tank"? So I started doing that, I mean I masturbated once, waited 1 hr, then twice, waited another hour and so on until I could barely produce any more cum so only a white liquid came out, this is when I knew I had "emptied the tank and cleaned the tubes". This whole process took me about 4 or 5 hours but had the benefit of having to wash my already delicate hands once instead of may times, putting less stress on my skin,(the OCD comes from not wanting to touch my computer with cum "contaminated" hands) plus it meant I wouldn't be horny the next morning.
As you can see before this "emptying the tank" ritual I had relatively healthy fapping habits. But I wanted to get rid of my sex drive as much as possible and stop wasting time on my dumb OCD ritual that I considered an advantage as it prevented me from fapping too much. What follows is what later I learned was the only possible outcome: my "technique" stopped working, rather than remaining satiated for weeks after fapping to exhaustion I was horny barely 2 days after that. I learned that I got "desensitized". Soon my technique involved waiting shorter periods between ejaculations, until I got down to 10 minutes between them. Then one day something happened, I downloaded various sets of a very beatiful girl and said why not nut it to her? I fapped once, barely waited 5 minutes and nutted it again but on the third time I COULD NOT CUM, hell I could hardly get it up. That moment I thought to myself "oh shieeeet I broke my benis!?", after lots of efforts I finally came but the experience left me marked (mind you these 3 ejaculations were to the same girl, I've read about the Coolidge effect and it wasn't at play here). This was the first time something like that happened to me. From a healthy fap schedule to regular sexual exhaustion. Now I'll talk about my problem and luckily is not so bad, basically I overproduce precum by the lots, and I mean really a fucking lot, I don't even need to touch my benis and it doesn't even need to be erect, just fantasizing about sex makes me wet my pants. You're probably wondering why am I fantasizing in first place if im doing nofap? Because sometimes I fall to the cravings but still maintain some control. Even if I didn't im sure as fuck I shouldn't be precumming this much, this NEVER happened before. My fapping urges are mostly the same as before though. So what part of my brain do you think I broke? And other than waiting for time to heal my brain what do you think I can do? I mean that as in "rewiring" whatever in my brain that makes me precum this much.
