I forgot it was winter. Continuity errors, Ho!
>>395657
>Be me, Brother-Captian Anon of the Imperial Fists. Proud son of Primarch Rogal Dorn
>be marching through the thick underbrush at an acceptable pace
>much noise is made, but if anyone is around to hear it
>let them come
>come to a small clearing in the woods and allow myself to take a knee and rest
>take a generous sip from my faithful canteen
>danger sense tingling, however I continue to act casual
>it was an eventuality for this to happen
>an expected outcome
>I am being hunted
>rise to my feet once more and proceed at a low jog
>an hour passes, nothing of note
>however it has become clear that I am being followed
>the dead silence of the forest and the occasional rustling of bushes is a dead give away
>I reach another clearing, larger than the last to be sure
>the half a foot of snow covering the clearing is dotted with animal tracks
>nod to myself
>a defendable position
>no places for my stalker to ambush
>plant feet into the snow and wait
>for as long as a son of Dorn stands, they shall go no further
>time passes, and eventually the stalker relents
>from the dark of the woods, firelight appears
>a woman appears, bronze skin and scales line her form
>a long tale with fire running down its spine waves back and forth casually as she walks
>the snow at her feet melts as she swaggers into the clearing, long blade in hand
>she rests the blade on her shoulder, chin held high as a ring of melted snow steadily grows around her
>I keep my firearm lowered but ready for anything
<"Hail, Sir Knight, ''tis nice of thou to find such an appropriate place to speak."
>I grimace behind the mask of the helmet
>my silence goads her on
<"Oh? No words? I see. Well, my intentions are simple. I challenge thee to a duel. Let us cross blades and decide which of us is to be the better."
>my eyes narrow and my grip tightens
"If I refuse?"
>a coy laugh springs from the throats of the woman
<"Twas not a request, Sir Knight. Ready thine self."
>of course
>the woman brings the blade of her sword to bear and I raise my rifle
"This is your first and only warning. Cease and desist. Leave me or risk harm."
>the woman laughs, the fire on her tail flaring
<"So sure of thine self? Quaint. Have at thee!"
>the woman charges, blade raised
Krak!
>the rubber slug flies out of the barrel slow enough to just early follow
>the woman brings the flat of her sword up to block the rubber missile
Klank thump
>the rubber slug slams into the blade
>the opposite side slams into her face, halting her charge briefly
Krak krak krak!
>feet firmly planted, I fire off three more shots before he closes the distance
>she weaves out of the way of the first and deflects the second
>but the third hits home in her gut with the sound of a heavy slap
>the woman falls to a knee ten meters away, gasping for breath
>she lets out a quiet groan of pain
<"Ffffu-… T-'twas a lucky blow. A solid hit nonetheless."
>she rises back to her feet, a glint in her eyes
>she points the long blade towards me, a wicked smile gracing her lips
<"It will take more than that, however. Now, draw thine blade so we may-"
Krak Krak!
>the woman twists her body to avoid the incoming projectiles, but suprise slowed her
>however she was still pretinatitally swift
>the first slug clips her shoulder, but the second lands solidly
>the blade clatters to the ground and the hand swiftly clutches her right breast
>her shrill scream echoes through the winter woods
<"Ffffuck!"
>she rolls, hands still clutching her injury
<"What the fuck!? You shot my tit! Why!?"
>I do not answer
<"You were supposed to draw your sword a duel me! Not fucking shoot my tit, you asshole!"
>she glares from her prone position
"I do not have a sword."
>yet
>the woman slowly regains her composure and rises to her feet once more
>her off-hand tightens around the handle of her sword
<"aaall right asshole. I'm gonna go over there and-"
Krak!
>her eyes widen, but it is far too late
>with a meaty thwack, the rubber slug hits home on the other breast
>once more the blade falls to the ground with its owner
<"You hit the other! Why!? Why did you hit the other!?"
>I did not intend to
"I did not intend to."
<"Horse shit!"
>the woman, at a loss for words, lay on the ground and clutches at her aching breasts
<"Fucking asshole…"
>I turn away and jog onwards
Someone get the "Meaty Thwack" meme and put a pic of Dorn over Jamie's face.