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File: 648398304f4e21a⋯.png (368.87 KB,1140x1708,285:427,hounded.png)

File: 607c2acb43e07bf⋯.png (91.02 KB,1528x1105,1528:1105,VCOM 1.png)

File: a06cc3e8fd7af9f⋯.png (135.91 KB,1375x1124,1375:1124,VCOM 2.png)

File: 32924b64bb36b0b⋯.png (23.94 KB,830x510,83:51,danukis.png)

File: 7a2572e0eaf558c⋯.png (187.55 KB,958x1241,958:1241,big girl.png)

ad57cb No.378675 [View All]

You know the drill. Write 'em, post 'em, read 'em.

384 posts and 162 image replies omitted. Click [Open thread] to view. ____________________________
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bc751a No.395658

>>395657

Purging with my Kin plays off in the distance

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54ed2d No.395669

File: b8c3e9ab46fa305⋯.jpg (67.27 KB,400x394,200:197,IMG_3309.JPG)

I forgot it was winter. Continuity errors, Ho!

>>395657

>Be me, Brother-Captian Anon of the Imperial Fists. Proud son of Primarch Rogal Dorn

>be marching through the thick underbrush at an acceptable pace

>much noise is made, but if anyone is around to hear it

>let them come

>come to a small clearing in the woods and allow myself to take a knee and rest

>take a generous sip from my faithful canteen

>danger sense tingling, however I continue to act casual

>it was an eventuality for this to happen

>an expected outcome

>I am being hunted

>rise to my feet once more and proceed at a low jog

>an hour passes, nothing of note

>however it has become clear that I am being followed

>the dead silence of the forest and the occasional rustling of bushes is a dead give away

>I reach another clearing, larger than the last to be sure

>the half a foot of snow covering the clearing is dotted with animal tracks

>nod to myself

>a defendable position

>no places for my stalker to ambush

>plant feet into the snow and wait

>for as long as a son of Dorn stands, they shall go no further

>time passes, and eventually the stalker relents

>from the dark of the woods, firelight appears

>a woman appears, bronze skin and scales line her form

>a long tale with fire running down its spine waves back and forth casually as she walks

>the snow at her feet melts as she swaggers into the clearing, long blade in hand

>she rests the blade on her shoulder, chin held high as a ring of melted snow steadily grows around her

>I keep my firearm lowered but ready for anything

<"Hail, Sir Knight, ''tis nice of thou to find such an appropriate place to speak."

>I grimace behind the mask of the helmet

>my silence goads her on

<"Oh? No words? I see. Well, my intentions are simple. I challenge thee to a duel. Let us cross blades and decide which of us is to be the better."

>my eyes narrow and my grip tightens

"If I refuse?"

>a coy laugh springs from the throats of the woman

<"Twas not a request, Sir Knight. Ready thine self."

>of course

>the woman brings the blade of her sword to bear and I raise my rifle

"This is your first and only warning. Cease and desist. Leave me or risk harm."

>the woman laughs, the fire on her tail flaring

<"So sure of thine self? Quaint. Have at thee!"

>the woman charges, blade raised

Krak!

>the rubber slug flies out of the barrel slow enough to just early follow

>the woman brings the flat of her sword up to block the rubber missile

Klank thump

>the rubber slug slams into the blade

>the opposite side slams into her face, halting her charge briefly

Krak krak krak!

>feet firmly planted, I fire off three more shots before he closes the distance

>she weaves out of the way of the first and deflects the second

>but the third hits home in her gut with the sound of a heavy slap

>the woman falls to a knee ten meters away, gasping for breath

>she lets out a quiet groan of pain

<"Ffffu-… T-'twas a lucky blow. A solid hit nonetheless."

>she rises back to her feet, a glint in her eyes

>she points the long blade towards me, a wicked smile gracing her lips

<"It will take more than that, however. Now, draw thine blade so we may-"

Krak Krak!

>the woman twists her body to avoid the incoming projectiles, but suprise slowed her

>however she was still pretinatitally swift

>the first slug clips her shoulder, but the second lands solidly

>the blade clatters to the ground and the hand swiftly clutches her right breast

>her shrill scream echoes through the winter woods

<"Ffffuck!"

>she rolls, hands still clutching her injury

<"What the fuck!? You shot my tit! Why!?"

>I do not answer

<"You were supposed to draw your sword a duel me! Not fucking shoot my tit, you asshole!"

>she glares from her prone position

"I do not have a sword."

>yet

>the woman slowly regains her composure and rises to her feet once more

>her off-hand tightens around the handle of her sword

<"aaall right asshole. I'm gonna go over there and-"

Krak!

>her eyes widen, but it is far too late

>with a meaty thwack, the rubber slug hits home on the other breast

>once more the blade falls to the ground with its owner

<"You hit the other! Why!? Why did you hit the other!?"

>I did not intend to

"I did not intend to."

<"Horse shit!"

>the woman, at a loss for words, lay on the ground and clutches at her aching breasts

<"Fucking asshole…"

>I turn away and jog onwards

Someone get the "Meaty Thwack" meme and put a pic of Dorn over Jamie's face.

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2011ad No.395673

File: ce8e722a4fd61f5⋯.png (398.16 KB,500x481,500:481,ce8e722a4fd61f5fd242193062….png)

>>395669

Here ya go

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2011ad No.395674

>>395673

>>395669

didn't see the last part about the editing, but I suck at editing either way. So, there's the pic for those with some editing prowess

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bc751a No.395676

>>395669

Loving it, loving it so much I may bring a Slanneshi daemon from the warp!

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26950f No.395680

File: eafcb24ab95eca5⋯.jpg (62.2 KB,1024x576,16:9,1536205773332.jpg)

>>395669

>You were supposed to draw your sword a duel me! Not fucking shoot my tit, you asshole!

Good to see you back, Brother-Captain!

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5507bf No.395779

>>395669

>The first firing duel with a salamander ends well

"Brother you best hope she doesn't come for you in your sleep

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e87868 No.395780

File: 41ed9c45e4b2b64⋯.png (387.07 KB,338x443,338:443,dorn's meaty whack.png)

>>395669

>>395673

MEATY WHACK

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5507bf No.395784

>>395669

Be careful the salamander might take this as a measure of manhood

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dbeb16 No.396014

File: f5c39159b62aa76⋯.png (1.28 MB,1822x5150,911:2575,foxwaifu.png)

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0b6ebe No.396016

File: e84d9e32a60f3cb⋯.jpg (9.97 KB,294x295,294:295,crying leo.jpg)

>>396014

fuck, i hope he gets to see his dream waifu again

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890e7d No.396031

>>396016

Unfortunately, the guy later claimed she was just some human landwhale that had astrally projected herself into his dreams.

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019274 No.396049

>>396031

How did he find that out?

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890e7d No.396051

>>396049

Supposedly astral projection of his own or some shit.

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846eb8 No.396053

File: 7c91cb88d2867bc⋯.jpg (13.65 KB,200x238,100:119,7c91cb88d2867bcb047ce9bc44….jpg)

>>396051

>>396031

>he got catfished in his own dream

Even the realm of our dreams isn't safe from 3DPD.

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019274 No.396054

>>396053

>3DPD dream stalkers are now a thing

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ba9723 No.396055

>>396053

>>396054

So Nightmares earn a living protecting every man's dreams from the 3DPD?

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54ed2d No.396067

File: 322903e69886dc3⋯.gif (2.84 MB,250x255,50:51,IMG_2327.GIF)

>>396031

>got catfished in his own dream

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c1797d No.396142

File: d233a280a6cf615⋯.jpg (102.31 KB,1024x860,256:215,18ps27.jpg)

>>395669

Can't wait for the next episode.

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5507bf No.396224

>Be at a karaoke bar with friends

>The drinks are cheap and its fun to see the mix of humans and monsters sing

>Especially later in the night once everyone was feeling really good from the booze

>It wasn't too long into the night when one of your friends made you a proposition

>You go up and sing the song he wrote on this scrap of paper, and he pays your tab

>The inner Danuki rubs its palms, a free night of drinking for singing a stupid song? fuck yeah

>Without giving it much thought you shake on it and he hands you the paper

Artist: Nirvana

>Psssh, easy

Song: Rape me

>….uh oh

>Your friends crack up as they see your smile deflate, advertising you read the song title

>Keep calm, there's nothing to worry about… as you scan around the bar

>The VIP top balcony section had been totally reserved and you see a clique of dragon girls giggling and sipping champagne

>At another table a Minotaur and an Oni were engaged in an arm wrestling match, their respective groups cheering them on

>Two Ushi oni's were at one end of the bar talking with each other while at the other end a lonely looking Jabberwocky stirred a drink

>One of the booths that had an extra table pulled up to it had a pack of Hellhounds playing drunkquest

>Quietly resigning yourself to your fate, you approach the stage

>Time to start a lust riot

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769120 No.396253

>>396224

anon is fucked

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1d7048 No.396283

File: 6fbe464019f120f⋯.jpg (14.25 KB,320x320,1:1,Sad cat1.jpg)

File: 372b5812b837dc5⋯.jpg (27.15 KB,750x439,750:439,Sad kot7.jpg)

File: 766a5be8e173554⋯.jpg (64.8 KB,1024x768,4:3,Sad kot6.jpg)

>>396014

WHY?!

Why must it end like this!?

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8e2e8c No.396611

I've looked around for a bit through the 3 greentext threads on the board rn and I can't find any anubis greentexts aside from the wholesome one with the money launderer mc. If a kind anon could direct me to some I'd be very grateful. Sorry in advance if it's right in front of my nose, still very much a newfag here

Polite sage since request

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656524 No.396750

>>396031

i vomited a little

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769120 No.396819

reminder that i love all you anons who post greentexts

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5507bf No.397254

>>396819

Thanks anon, even though I do nothing but shoddily thought out one-shots when drunk its nice to know people enjoy it.

may your waifu claim you on DOTR

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f13e7c No.397306

>>395669

I love it!

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5507bf No.397463

>>396819

thanks fren i enjoy letting loose with random oneshots

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c4cbe5 No.397466

>>397463

Those are the best kind IMO.

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f13e7c No.397649

File: 7e68ed74604c40b⋯.gif (1.64 MB,400x400,1:1,aqua cry.gif)

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644c87 No.398510

File: 5cf20cd62489241⋯.jpg (816.5 KB,1651x3747,1651:3747,dragon-1.jpg)

From the dragon thread

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8cd444 No.398878

File: 3ec34beb3d2c2e8⋯.png (4.82 MB,1160x9658,580:4829,Brother Captain Anon.png)

>>395669

V3. And yes, you kept me waiting.

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659beb No.400934

File: 230587cfc10febc⋯.png (880.31 KB,1957x515,19:5,RQE1lvO.png)

>working on car

>waifu helping, of course

>it's what shoggoths do

>"Alright, I'll need a half-inch, a flathead, and maybe a five-eighths for this"

<"As Master wishes," she says with a smile

>two wrenches and a screwdriver form and separate from the homogenous slime of her tentacles

>feels a little bad I'll never use my tools from before she showed up anymore

>the purplish "steel" handles and "rubber" grips of hers feel much better in my hands though

>get down and slide under the car, tools in hand

>unscrew the wire terminals on the solenoid (already disconnected the battery)

>loosen the bolts holding the starter to the transmission

>"I've got it off, do you have the new one?" I ask, setting the old rusty starter motor aside

<"Yes, Master," she responds, immediately appearing beside me holding the shiny part

>kinda unnatural how that happened, but I take the starter and put everything back together

>did she get closer? her breasts are pressing against me now

>she has a pleased expression on her face as I tighten down the fasteners with her tools

>but the rest of her eyes seem to be glaring a bit more than usual

>after a successful test, I shut the engine off

>shoggoth is sitting next to me in the passenger seat

<"Why must master perform such a menial task that I can take care of?" she says, dejected

>"I enjoy doing it."

>her expression lightens

<"Ah, but I can please Master more," she says with a grin

>hit the remote to close the garage door for some privacy before she pins me down

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659beb No.400936

>>400934

Should also add that this is my first /monster/ greentext and one of my first ever greentexts, so tell me if I fucked up.

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5507bf No.401145

>>400936

bretty comfy and cute anon, keep at it and pretty soon you'll start to naturally brainstorm /monster/ related little quips to entertain yourself and the masses.

>at least until DOTR

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55a929 No.401170

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

<We've run this test multiple times with various mamano species and the result are almost universally the same. Take a look at our income inequality exercise.

>two catgirls, sisters.

>The camera transitions to the older one, Jessie, who is somewhat of a delinquent. Extroverted. Easily excitable.

>"They said there'd be free food and they'd pay me to eat it. How could I turn down that offer?! They paid me an extra 50 to get my sister in on it. Talk about easy money!"

>The camera transitions to the younger one, Jennie, polite, easygoing, introverted. A very subdued nature.

>"My sis said there would be free food… I figured it was a prank but she insisted…so here I am?"

>as per typical testing procedure the test subjects are placed into the test chambers and the necessary test parameters are explained to them.

>simply "ring your bell to receive food"

>The test chambers are seperated by plexiglass so each of the subjects can view one another during the test. Facing outwards there's an opening large enough to allow an arm though.

>The test begins

>A $3.99 back of potato crisps are open.

>Jessie rings her bell first. "Bring on the grub bub!"

>a single potato chip is placed in her outstretched paw from our test overseer wearing latex gloves.

>"choice! Keep em' coming!"

>Jennie rang her bell. A large platter of expensive sushi is unveiled valued at 19.99. They hand her a piece of the sushi and she eats it politely.

>Jessie notices the different option "Woah! hey ho! Lemme get somma' dat!" and she starts smacking her bell again and extending her arm in the direction of the sushi. ding ding ding

>they hand her a single potato chip.

>"uhhh, I want the sushi." She flipped her hand around and the chip falls to the floor.

>meanwhile Jennie rings her bell once and they hand her another piece of sushi through the little arm hole. She looks like she's enjoying it.

>Jessie starts rapidly beating her bell "dingdingdingdingding'' "HEY! Sushi! Give it to me now!"

>they hand her another potato chip. She immediately threw it to the floor in disgust.

>pan back to Jennie, again, a single bell ring grants her another piece of sushi. Jessie has a clear view of all this- a look of disbelief on her face.

>Jessie cautiously rings her bell once. "See, one ring for sushi right?"

>…

>She gets another potato chip. She stares angrily as she crushes the chip.

>Jennie gets yet another slice of sushi after ringing the bell once.

>Jessie starts punching her bell. It's pulverized. She doesn't even bother sticking her paw out when they offer her a potato chip "AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

>Jennie rings her bell once more. It's the last piece of sushi and it's gingerly handed to her.

>Jessie sticks her arm out of her feeding slot with a nervous look "Sis, please…at least give me the last one…"

>Jennie shrugs and attempts to pass it to her sister.

>They're just out of reach.

>"J-just toss it…" She's licking her lips

>Jennie nods and tosses it up into the air…

>slide-whistle noise

>it bounces off Jessie's arm and lands on the floor with plap

>perfectly cut scream

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62bed1 No.401207

File: de3b96079bd4739⋯.png (525.01 KB,1474x1220,737:610,Wizards try to get Anon to….png)

Is there anything else like this? Maybe even a sequel.

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c8bc62 No.402865

>be me

>watching a talk show on tv

>features a lilim as the host interviewing multiple celebrities and shit

>half way through the show, there's a segment where they get pay back agaisnt people who buy tickets and don't show up

>they strap a camera on a single monster and release em onto the no-show's house

>near the credit roll of the show there's a phone number where you get tickets for the show live

>if you're caller 69, you get free tickets

>eh, fuck it why not?

"Congratulations, you're lucky caller #69!"

>dammit

Couple days later

>welp, this is a neet's worst nightmare

>outside of my comfy zone, people everywhere, basically threatened with home invasion and rape

>struggle to fit in and not be noticed

>half way through the show, and it is actually alot more fun in person than i thought

<"now, for one of my favorite segments, the no-show show!"

>there it is

>sitting through essentially a 5 minute horrow show, the lilim turns to the audience

<"well, aren't you guys lucky you kept up with your apointments?"

>even though she was looking at the audience as a whole, i could still feel her eyes burning a hole through me

<"now then, as you know, I have interviewed multiple celebrities and internet stars, but I would like to take a moment and reconnect to the people that make this all possible…"

>the danukis?

<"you guys!"

<"more specifically, somone from the studio audience!"

>practically go deaf from the teenage mamono fangirling behind me

<"lucky caller 69, come on up~!"

What do /monster/?

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986414 No.402916

File: a0ded49538a3313⋯.jpg (71.02 KB,500x618,250:309,laughing bastet.jpg)

>>402865

>the danukis?

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5507bf No.403089

>>402865

Try to play cool, act like nothing is wrong, don't spill any spaghet, and mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you're probably about to loose your shot at wizard powers

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38ab9d No.403095

>>402865

But why would you call to get tickets if you didn't want to go?

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051fba No.404365

File: 2f13e24e8f48bc2⋯.jpg (166.35 KB,601x500,601:500,PC Operating Procedures.jpg)

>>395669

Neckbeardia Blood Ravened this greentext, so be ready for what that implies.

https://youtu.be/8EwWHXpkiSU

Also please come back and post more, Brother. We must know if Brother-Captain Anon's father is okay!

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0969b2 No.404570

File: 52dcb8e5a27b5c3⋯.mp4 (1.06 MB,640x360,16:9,Rimworld - Everytime_a_doo….mp4)

>>404365

And the faggot who did the voice acting thought that "ara ara~" were fucking roaring noises.

>for all the newfags here, this is what it's supposed to sound like

>all the monstergirls were supposed to sound relatively human, not like animalistic retards who sound like they gargled hot coals and need a bag of lozenges

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949abf No.404785

>>404570

I kept going back and forth from thinking it was text to speech to real speech, a lot of it seemed so weird and stilted.

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f13e7c No.406054

>>401207

shit, where do I get the shambler background picture like the one on the left?

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bf9f96 No.406385

does anyone got any greens they like to share

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e7ec63 No.406608

>>395669

Did Brother-Captian Anon ever continue/finish his epic?

In any case, I collected all posts and put them in a pastebin, and archived said pastebin.

Thanks for the great read.

https://pastebin.com/uNMFeJfq

http://archive.is/XJ390

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bf9f96 No.406635

File: e6bb46472087242⋯.jpg (344.65 KB,1868x933,1868:933,mantis.JPG)

File: 6351bb538320036⋯.jpg (202.63 KB,1843x601,1843:601,mantis_2.JPG)

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ba39fc No.406732

File: 3d3a73d1f44c9a5⋯.jpg (271.98 KB,800x950,16:19,Fda1f1cf54a8f5b562a5e0435d….jpg)

There's this green I'm looking for, about a Kikimora maidbot in some dystopian futuristic city, she and her owner escape the city together to get out into wildlands.

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94d764 No.406775

bump

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