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/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

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File: e9b07c82736ed0f⋯.png (152.57 KB,900x900,1:1,B88CAABA-A1EE-4ADA-BDC6-97….png)

ea2804 No.358323

What’s it called when a lamia gets upset?

A hissy fit!

Why are yuki-onnas so popular?

They’re super cool.

Why did the robber marry a shoggoth?

He wanted a clean getaway!

Why was the troll embarassed?

She soiled herself!

Why should gazers be the judge of what is pretty and ugly?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

What happened to the boy who got into a fight with the houri extremist?

He was destroyed!

____________________________
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b2dab8 No.358334

>>358323

>carlos posting

>>>/out/

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cc6bf6 No.358336

File: a46430ec99b068b⋯.webm (166.03 KB,851x480,851:480,carlos_shut_up.webm)

>>358323

Here's a few selections for girls of a slithery persuasion:

What's a lamia's favorite type of music?

Wrap music

What's the best part of an apophis?

Her Nether Realm

How many lamiae does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None, unless they're really horny.

Have you ever heard about the socially competent bunyip?

Me neither

>>358334

>No fun allowed posting

Out

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4f05d4 No.358345

File: 4e4664317e94101⋯.jpg (359.71 KB,901x1107,901:1107,serval fun allowed.jpg)

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dc0189 No.358355

>>358323

Could you explain the houri joke?

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a018f2 No.358356

What do you call a cowardly manticore?

Spineless

>>358355

It's a reference to a terrible thing and you will be happier not knowing.

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289bc3 No.358367

>>358323

>That last joke

I really wish I had the collage pic that came about as a result of that thread. Good times.

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b2dab8 No.358368

>>358336

>more carlos posting

[incoherent screaming intensifies]

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cc6bf6 No.358369

File: adc5fc542beb291⋯.png (Spoiler Image,368.19 KB,800x800,1:1,heh.png)

>>358368

>begging for more

Something something catfucker

What do you call a mermaid who isn't into that-which-shall-not-be-named?

A sexual deviant

What do you call a German kitsune?

A nein-tailed fox

How many danuki does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Ash can't screw anything in

What did the angry paladin shout at Alice?

You're a whora!

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022cb1 No.358419

>>358334

>redditspacing while complaining about carlosposting

>>358368

>more redditspacing

You have to go back.

>>>/reddit/

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ea2804 No.358423

>>358334

>>358368

Bumping a thread you don’t like?

That’s no sage wisdom.

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cd4c55 No.358486

File: f99854197d725a6⋯.png (Spoiler Image,300.93 KB,420x420,1:1,smuggoth.png)

What do you call it when your dog's shit gets monsterized?

A Kikimora

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b2dab8 No.358488

>>358486

SIDF plz

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949534 No.358492

>>358486

You've gone too far this time shog lover

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3f4886 No.358514

File: e98fbcb6477bc58⋯.jpg (403.6 KB,1923x2052,641:684,DSVR7XeUIAAMM1Z.jpg orig.jpg)

>>358486

Delete this.

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8b8ea4 No.358515

File: a98beaf619deb20⋯.jpg (35.57 KB,402x402,1:1,a98beaf619deb2094384f898eb….jpg)

How do Lamias sneak into Hogwarts?

They Slytherin

Why shouldn't you ask a member of the Sabbath to pay for a drink?

They're always a little short

A Hydra walks into a bar

The other heads duck

A Dwarf walks out of a bar

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c2d1cb No.358518

>>358323

Pretty funny to read a bunch of these back to back. I wish I could come up with some, but I can't think of shit.

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ea2804 No.358525

File: f13771947bf9f38⋯.jpeg (79.64 KB,819x1024,819:1024,76F5B5C8-5243-4874-9331-9….jpeg)

File: 6f1f53f4d6c291c⋯.png (98.33 KB,684x739,684:739,0B39FE3B-DE64-4F54-988C-F2….png)

File: 7c8007f2b375510⋯.png (579.12 KB,1038x966,173:161,37D8647F-9DB0-426E-9780-06….png)

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ea2804 No.358526

How does a dragon always know her weight?

She’s covered in scales!

Why should you never fight a gnome?

They always fight dirty!

Why did the lich cross the road?

She already did!

Where did the shoggoth get a job?

Rubbermaid

>>358486

Too blunt. You have to be more subtle like my jab.

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7d11a9 No.358540

File: 8053ed09b098117⋯.png (388.67 KB,900x900,1:1,8B203FF3-EB94-445B-9E6C-82….png)

>>358525

I don't think this is what they mean by 'shitposting', anon.

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3f4886 No.358541

File: 21440b69898ef8e⋯.jpg (341.4 KB,1923x2052,641:684,DSUxOJPVQAAxnyD.jpg orig.jpg)

>>358540

Execute yourself.

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57ee65 No.358542

>>358367

Reddit ruins everything again. The book ended up being in a Kotaku article and tumblr knows about the book too.

Thanks Reddit.

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7d11a9 No.358543

File: 0156e45c57ba376⋯.png (604.07 KB,706x901,706:901,0156e45c57ba376a54eb6c29f5….png)

>>358541

What the҉ fuck did you just fucking say abou҉t me, you little bitch? I҉’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, a҉nd I’ve been inv҉o҉lved in numerous secret ҉raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300҉ confirmed kills.҉

I am trained ҉in gorilla war҉fare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing ҉to me bu҉t just another target. I҉ will wipe y҉ou the fuck out wi҉th prec҉i҉sion the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth,҉ mar҉k ҉my fu҉cking words.

Yo҉u think you can get away with sa҉ying that shit to m҉e over҉ th҉e I҉nternet? Think again҉, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my se҉cret network of s҉pies across the US҉A and your IP is being traced rig҉ht now so you better҉ prepare for the storm, maggot. T҉h҉e storm҉ that wipes ҉out the pat҉hetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, k҉id. I can be anywhere, a҉nytim҉e, and I ca҉n kill you in ҉over seven hundred ways, and that’s jus҉t with ҉my ҉bare hands.

҉Not only am I extensiv҉ely trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the ҉enti҉r҉e ҉arsenal o҉f the United҉ States Ma҉rine Corps and I will use it to ҉its full extent to wipe your miserabl҉e ass off th҉e ҉face ҉of the contin҉ent, you҉ little ҉shit. If only ҉you could h҉ave known what ҉unholy r҉etribution your little “cleve҉r” com҉me҉nt was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’҉t,҉ you didn’t, and҉ now҉ you’҉҉re paying the price, you godd҉amn idio҉t. I will shit fu҉ry all over you and you will drown i҉n it.

You’re fuc҉king dead҉, kiddo.

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ea2804 No.358545

>>358540

I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I did was post a couple of jokes :^)

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3f4886 No.358546

File: dc589e7720a079a⋯.png (3.5 MB,3000x1649,3000:1649,Kikimora127.png)

>>358543

Calm down Shog-chan.

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ed13ea No.358547

File: 23c11d0098aa6b6⋯.jpg (24.83 KB,319x480,319:480,Shamefur dispray.jpg)

>>358543

>didn't even come up with a custom script

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7d11a9 No.358548

File: 6581d6de3cca8ab⋯.png (513.96 KB,672x672,1:1,1438221938760.png)

>>358545

They sure are, Anon. I'm sure you could do with something better than those Slaves, like a good Shoggoth like me.

>>358547

I tried, and failed. I'll commit sudoku later, Minamoto Yoritomo-sama.

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a018f2 No.358556

File: e06961ee346ee93⋯.png (985.02 KB,723x1024,723:1024,dsVRUEjh.png)

File: 940d7eeea6c662f⋯.png (472.46 KB,521x594,521:594,dasf.PNG)

Don't mind me.

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3f4886 No.359746

File: b142032df4136f4⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,380.34 KB,1600x1300,16:13,2002_Isuzu_Elf_01.jpg)

File: 23dc0f6c09f92c2⋯.jpg (Spoiler Image,105.06 KB,1027x614,1027:614,TJVJGIMm8yT0_WGbrcdQYAhCHn….jpg)

File: b93e8232263221f⋯.png (Spoiler Image,330.04 KB,897x670,897:670,69263137_p0.png)

Why is it called the Isuzu Elf?

Because when you get hit by one, you get taken to a world with elves in it.

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cc9b11 No.359749

>>359746

Is there a worse isekai in existence than the bottom left one in the 2nd pic?

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ab6118 No.359750

>>359746

>Isuzu Elf

>posts a Renault in the 2nd pic

My inner Frenchman is autistically screeching.

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ea2804 No.359751

>>359746

Does islam pave the true path to anime?

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cc9b11 No.359752

>>359751

Would an isekai where a frenchman gets run over by a truck of peace and then gives the entire japan-like isekai world Paris Syndrome be worth watching?

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3f4886 No.359767

File: 6724da624454e17⋯.jpg (274.39 KB,1300x748,325:187,66037410_p0.jpg)

>>359750

Truck-kun comes in many brands.

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c2f77b No.359769

>>358323

Why do kiki and shogs fight

because they're both messes

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56adcb No.359772

>>359767

If I ran in front of him, would I die?

>>359769

>the two mamono species most obsessed with cleaning up messes are in fact, the biggest messes.

That's pretty deep.

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baee24 No.360665

Why does the Bee Girl have sticky hair?

She uses a honey combJust kidding. It's cum.

Why do holstaur girls always go to New York?

For the moosicalsJust kidding. It's cum again.

A few months ago, Hamas 
“arrested” a dolphin girl for being an 
Israeli spy. Readers of Danuki-Times 
magazine came up with titles for
 the film this action might inspire:

Orcapussy

Free Schmuelly

Goldflipper

The Porpoise-Driven Life

Dolphinfidel

What do you call an Amish guy who fists horse girls?

A mechanic

What do they call a Hell Hound magician?

A labracadabrador

What State do Hell Hounds like?

New Yorkie

Why do Hell Hounds wag their tails?

No one else will do it for them.

My Hell Hound waifu asked me if she looks fat. I said no… you are just a little husky.

What do you call a monster girl who is always lost?

A where-wolf

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Hell Hound sitting next to him. "Are you a Hell Hound?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The Hell Hound replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Hell Hounds can't read

cum

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e8c7fb No.360676

>>359751

Only for French people.

Back on topic, How many Kobolds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wan.

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ff6f6f No.360734

You hear about the guy who streaked through the monster section of town?

He got raped, of course.

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62a5d2 No.374158

File: 230587cfc10febc⋯.png (880.31 KB,1957x515,19:5,m a st ah.png)

>>358526

Where did the shoggoth get a job?

From the kiki

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813cee No.374160

>>358323

>/monster/ Jokes

Alps

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91faa5 No.374161

I heard Vegeta got lost in the mge world

[Spoiler] they found him in the Alps [/spoiler]

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4dff48 No.374162

>>358355

It's a reference to a shitty minecraft pun book

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91faa5 No.377695

File: cd781981236591f⋯.jpg (61.9 KB,493x722,493:722,7thaprilwasinternationalbe….jpg)

I saw a beaver Monster Girl and I was like daaaaaaaam.

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0eb87e No.378006

>>374160

Take that back you little shit.

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c9c110 No.378060

File: fd908edb6354f1e⋯.jpg (305.61 KB,1036x1040,259:260,f2349051d07a84f154a6c742ed….jpg)

>>377695

She cute tho

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