/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

>>377769

NEETM

Not Employed in Education or Training, but Married.

>>377769

What is the difference between an "employed" house husband and a "none employed" house husband?

>>377752

Man with living armor is challenged to a duel by a lizardman/salamander. Not knowing the meaning of beating them, he accepts. The armor, thinking he can do much better, then proceeds to throw his attacks off.

>>377797

>What is the difference between an "employed" house husband and a "none employed" house husband?

Employed means it's your job to take care of the house. That means you have some sort of contract, even if verbal, to do the job and get the payment. You won't do the job if you don't' get paid and you won't get paid if you don't do the job.

Even with something like "your wife gives you money" or "she pays you with sex/cuddles" it's still not a job, it's more like a mutual help situation. You'll still do your stuff unless you're a shitty house husbando even if she's in a shitty period where she can't afford to give you any money/cuddles/sex and she'll still use her money on you, cuddle and have sex, even if you're temporarily unable to do housework.

>>377570

Apathy? A side effect from "training"? Some inherent belief that because the government scouted you that automatically means that you're among the best of the best?

No fucking clue.

>>377807

holy shit this is fucking gold

>>377805

Hmm, kind of like the idea of starting out as a butler to a monster girl while gradually becoming more of a house husband.

>be 6 year old anon

>sitting on Park swing playing Pokémon

>fighting flannery with her fire types

>marshstomp singlehandedly wiping the floor with her

>ignis girl approaches

>demands I let her play

>”no.”

>she reaches for it anyway

>I move the gameboy away from her

>”I said no.”

<“you’re just being selfish anon! Let me have a turn!”

>”It’s mine and I dont have to share.”

>I get up and start walking away

>suddenly feel like I’m in an oven

>turn around

>mountVesuviushaserupted.jpg

>start running

>feels like it’s getting hotter

>look behind me

>she’s fucking floating

>she’s also catching up

>try to lose her on the playground

>she just floats over everything

>trip and land in mud

>hear ignis girl land behind me and start talking

>have brilliant idea

<“Now that I’ve caught you, you have to-“

>anon used mudslap

>it’s super effective

>the mud extinguished her flames

>she’s just standing there in shock

>I take this opportunity to run and climb the tree

>I hide in a thick bundle of leaves

>watch ignis girl go crying to her mom

>see her leave the park

>pull out gameboy and continue playing

>beat flannery and get her badge

>it was a good day

Part 3

>>377861

>contain mud inside pocket

>find ignis girl

>slap her

>????

>profit

>>377833

That’s sort of how KC Vampires work. You’re their bloodbag/servant until you incubize, after which you’re officially husbando material for her.

Of course, sometimes they can’t hold their lust for their “filthy human peasant” servants back, which is how dhampirs normally happen.

>>377861

Based 6 year old

He’s gonna have some trouble in his teenage years after bullying all these girls though.

>>377865

Start placing bets on who gets him first

>>377864

But they're tsundere egotists that seem to get off on belittling others, which really annoys me. She might get better later, but if I were to have an interview with someone who treated me like a lesser being rather than just a subordinate or employee, I'd never agree to sign a contract unless I was desperate for work.

I'd be fine with kitsune, ryu, dragons, demons, heck, even a danuki if she pays me well enough. But a pain in the neck vampire? No, the only person I'd hate to work under more would probably be a dark elf.

>>377880

>my_waifu_and_I.png

>Roleplay_night_with_waifu.png

>I'll_lay_my_hands_on_that_body_if_you_know_what_I_mean.scroll

>fill_my_night_with_sexual_might.illusion

>pictures_taken_moments_before_a_disaster.tapestry

>Do_you_even_CON.etch-a-sketch

>honey_the_bard_is_staring.img

>Wanna_see_my_holy_sword.woodcarving

>I_wanna_put_my_sword_in_your_sheath.gif

>Granted_they_both_had_low_INT.Ihaverunoutofideas

>Cleric_prepare_the_resurrection

>MIGHTY_fine_abs

>How_to_make_strong_children

>Mark_what_is_sex

>I_shall_smite_your_virginity

>Paladin_falls

>Paladin_falls_in_love

>Barbarian_orcess_learns_there_is_more_to_life_than_fighting

>When_a_pc_ticks_off_multiple_marks_on_your_kink_list

>Moments_before_the_DM_realized_what_a_mistake_he_had_made

>Wanna_see_my_18_inch_charisma?

>How_many_uses_of_lay_on_hands_must_I_spend_to_survive_the_snu_snu

>Thank_god_that_axe_is_hiding_my_erection

>What's_the_critical_hit_chance_of_an_erect_cock?

>Berserker?_No_the_beer_soaked_her

>I'm_having_second_thoughts_about_that_oath_of_chastity_now

>be 6 year old anon

>playing Pokémon at the top of the slide

>some kids give me a weird look, but they use the slide and leave me alone

>fighting Norman

>his slaking is destroying me

>high orc girl comes up the steps

>she comes up to me instead of using the slide

<“Anon you cant be having any fun just sitting there. Let’s go down the slide together.”

>”No, I’m trying to become a Pokémon master and I’m having plenty of fun.”

>she seems surprised I would say no.

>I go back to my game

>suddenly I feel myself lifted up

>she tucks me under her arm

>wiggle and squirm around

>anoncantescape.jpg

<“Thats not how you have fun anon!”

>she’s standing in front of the slide now

>please no

<“This is how you have fun!”

>she throws me down the slide

>land in a heap at the bottom

>desperately check that gameboy is undamaged

>relieved to see it unharmed

>hear high orc girl laugh coming down the slide

<“Wasn’t that fun anon?”

>no

>run away before she can grab me again

>playing with her will break me or my gameboy

<“Hey! Where are you going anon? Don’t you want to play more?”

>she starts chasing me

>she’s starting to catch up

>have an idea. I saw it in one of dad’s old movies

>pick up jump rope on the ground

>duck behind wall and ready the rope

>hear high orc girl coming

>throw rope

>catch her leg

>pull on the rope

>she tumbles to the ground with a thud

>rush over and tie her legs together before she can get up

>run to the tree like the devil himself was chasing me

<“Hey! What was that for?!”

>she gets up and tries to hop after me

>falls again

<“Get back here and untie me! This isn’t how you have fun anon!

>climb tree and hide in the leaves

>pull out gameboy and continue playing

>beat Norman

>it was a good day

Part 4

>>377934

>tfw High Orc girl wasn’t being a bitch trying to take his gameboy and just genuinely wanted to play with him

Shame they disagree on how to have fun

>>377906

>no berserker?_I_barely_even_know_her.jiff

No effort.

>>377973

I tried to remember it, but couldn't, so that's why you have the beer one instead. And don't call it no effort, I'll have you know I spent almost an hour writing that, and I was only distracted sixteen times.

>>377934

>"dad, how did you always avoid all the girls messing with you on the playground?"

>a middle aged anon grabs a gameboy that's been well taken care of, and tosses it to his son

not the same fag, just something I think a good chunk of us can think on

>Be Anon, almost a Doctor.

>Last schoolyear has just began.

>Teachers won't stop talking about Dissertation.

>You're still trying to find your subject.

>At lunchbreak with your Bro.

>Walk in local Burger place, stand at the end of the queue.

>"Still no idea for your Dissertation, Anon?"

"Nah. Can't find anything interesting… What about you?"

>"I'm writing about the theory of Monster Symbiosis."

"What's that?"

>"Well, it's a theory that says some species of MGs work in tandem for many aspects of their lives."

"Isn't just them being social creatures, like humans?"

>"Not quite, I'll give you an example: did you know that Alraune who meets with single males will produce a unique perfume which lures in Insect Girls so they might find these single males?"

"Really?"

>"Yeah. Another example comes from Shepherds Kobold and Sheep girls, Shepherds will protect the Sheep Girls, while Sheep Girls provide hugs, which a single Kobold needs to stay sane."

"That's pretty weird."

>"I find it fascinating."

"But, aren't these cases almost useless in our modern world? How are you gonna study such things?"

>"That's the thing, I'd like to find some form of modern applications…"

>As the conversation dies down, you look in front of you.

>The girl just before you is looking at you.

>Her pointy Elven ears clearly haven't missed a single word of the chat you just had with your bro.

>She blushes strongly and looks away.

>Crap, she has the hots for you.

"Bro, we need to get out, right now."

>The Elf's ears twitch.

>Of course, she heard.

>Right before you turn around, you feel compelled to have one last look at the Elf.

>Damn, those are some amazing short shorts.

>Fine booty.

SLAP

>Your hand stings.

>The entire restaurant is looking at you.

>The Elf is blushing furiously, massaging one of her magnificently round buttcheeks.

>The Ogre next to the Elf is staring you down with fire in her eyes.

<"Did you just slap my friend's ass, twerp?"

"Wait, hold on…"

<"Listen pipsqueak, I'm gonna give you a very simple choice, either you run now, or you and your pal buy us dinner, then meet at our place, so we can talk about how you can earn forgiveness, fair warning, I'm in the track team."

>"Fascinating."

>Fucking bully bait Elves.

>You don't even like pointy ears.

>be 6 year old anon

>playing Pokémon in the tree this time

>done playing this chasing game with the girls

>facing against Winona

>much easier than Norman

>hear a screeching sound

>thatsnotswellow.jpg

>look up and see harpy girl flying right towards me

>this isn’t fair

>I just wanted to play Pokémon

>dive to my right to avoid her

>hear her cackling as she speeds by

>shes coming around for another pass

>climbing down tree as fast as I can

>suddenly a group of acorns shoot out at her

>she dodges them effortlessly

>but not the tree branch

>she’s on the ground now

>that’s gonna leave a mark

>harpy girl looks like she’s gonna cry

>she walks off holding her face

>look at where the acorns came from

>see ratatoskr girl pop her head out

<“Hi! I’m Adaline. I’ve been watching you for a while anon!”

>I should run now

<“please don’t run off. I just want to watch you play.”

>I am suspicious. And creeped out.

>”you just want to watch? Not steal it?”

<“yeah. Pokémon is fun to watch.”

>cautiously return to my spot on the branch

>pull out my gameboy again

>she watches over my shoulder

>this feels weird.

>”Thanks for helping with the harpy.”

<“You’re welcome. I wouldn’t like getting chased around either.”

>nod and go back to playing Pokémon

>beat Winona

>made a friend?

>nobody else bothered me

>it was a good day

part 5

I’ll probably do one or two more of these and maybe an epilogue before I close out the story. Then I’ll add it to a pastebin.

>>377997

>nutty bitch

>not superior orc lass coming back to apologize

you had one job cock face

>>377999

The story isn’t even done yet. Have a little patience

>be 6 year old anon

>playing Pokémon in the tree for a couple weeks now

>gotten all 8 badges now

>Adaline watching me play the entire time

>see a group of kids coming towards the tree

>it’s all the girls who were chasing me

>they do not look happy

>Ishouldgo.shepard

>Adaline sees them coming and waves

>they’re all around the tree

<“Get down here anon!

>”No! You’ll just steal my gameboy!”

>get shouted at about rudeness, benches, sharing, and not having fun

>Adaline says she’ll deal with this and climbs down

>fully expect them to mob her

>surprisingly they just talk for a while.

>surprised when Adaline asks me to come down

>climb down next to Adaline

>the girls seem to pause for a minute as if unsure what to do

<“We’re sorry anon.”

>wait what

>”You’re all…sorry?”

<“Yes.”

>the high orc girl stepped forward

<“We weren’t trying to hurt or scare you or anything. We just wanted to play with you.”

>I look at all of them and they seem to be nodding their heads in agreement

>”So…you guys aren’t going to hurt me, chase me or steal my gameboy?”

>they all shook their heads

>Adaline spoke up

<“We actually came to an agreement. We spend half the day playing together, and then the other half watching you play Pokémon.”

>the raccoon girl spoke up

<“what do you say anon?”

>I feel torn. On the one hand I get less time playing Pokémon.

>but on the other I don’t get chased by random monster girls

>they were all giving me puppy eyes

>”Alright. So long as nobody tries to take my gameboy, I’ll play.”

>the girls got very excited about this and started introducing themselves

>the raccoon girl was named Charlotte

>the ogre girl was named Amy

>the ignis girl was named Francis

>and the high orc’s name was Sophia

>they had an odd idea of fun, but if it meant I could play undisturbed I was ok with it

>the first few days were a bit awkward as we got used to each other but we eventually settled into routine

>we would spend an hour and a half running around, playing things like tag and hide and seek

>after that we would sit in or around the tree and play Pokémon until it was time to go home

>as the weeks went by and summer got closer we spent more time under the tree than we did playing

>one day an elderly man and his yeti wife were selling snow-cones to kids for a dollar

<“Want to go get one anon?”

>”No I’m good.”

>the girls went off to get snow-cones

>an older guy approaches me and asks about where my friends went

>”they went to get snow-cones. I don’t have a dollar for it so i stayed here.”

>he pulls out his wallet

>”go get yourself a snow-cone kid. You can pay me back tomorrow. My van is usually in that corner of the parking lot.”

>”Thanks mister.”

>”anytime kid.”

>got a snow-coneit was lemon

>got to play Pokémon

>nice guy gave me a dollar

>it was a good day

>>378039

Part 6

>>378014

Sorry. I can never tell when people are joking in text

>>378039

I'm not sure why but when he said my van, warning signals were set off in my head

>>378046

He's going to get /ss/'d.

>>378046

"Mister" is obviously a baph, a witch, and a familiar standing on each others' shoulders in a trenchcoat.

>>378056

yeah. I really need to lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously. I’m a real stick in the mud apparently

>>378064

>implying it's actually a man and not just a girl pretending to be a man to give unsuspecting boys a false sense of security

>be 6 year old anon

>at park with a dollar

>need to pay back the hippie guy

>tell Adaline and the others I’m going to pay the guy back

>”I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

<“Ok anon, be careful.”

>make my way to the parking lot

>start looking for the guy and his van

>there are several vans actually

>eventually find the guy and his van

>it was an old blue Volkswagen

>”Hey little man. You got my dollar?”

>”Yes sir.”

>give him the dollar

>”Thanks kid. You have a good day.”

>”You too.”

>run off back to the tree

>I wonder if Charlotte has anything cool she wants to show off

>she always had cool stuff

>black van ahead of me opens it door

>I start to run past it

>a pair of arms grab me as I pass and pull me in

>panic and start kicking and screaming

>hand covers my mouth

>bite it

>guy hits me in the head

>a hood gets put over my head

>it smells strange

>I black out

>the girls are hanging around a tree waiting for anon to come back

<“Where’s anon? He’s been gone a while.”

>Charolette shrugged her shoulders

<“I don’t know. But I really want to show him this. It’s super shiny!”

>the small toy made a flash of light and noise in her hand and she giggled

<“We should go look for him. What if he’s hurt?”

>this got them all worried and they went into the parking lot to look for him

>they called his name and looked around for him but couldn’t find him

>”Hey kids, y’all looking for something?”

>a man sitting beside a blue VW van asked them

>Sophia spoke up for the others when they hesitated

<“have you seen our friend anon? He said he was giving someone a dollar, but he’s been gone a while.”

>”Oh yeah. The little man. He went running back to the park a while ago. Good kid.”

<“did you see where he went?”

>”sorry but not after he ran off.”

>it was then Adaline saw an oddly familiar harpy girl land on the van.

<“Hi dad!

>”Hey sweet pea. Having fun?

<“Yeah! I followed the van that took the boy I was telling you about. He’s cute.”

>she then glared accusingly at Adaline

<“You’re the one who made me hit that tree!”

>the girls stared at her in stunned silence for a minute

>then they suddenly shouting a dozen different questions

<“What van?”

<“Where’d they go?”

<“Who took him?”

<“Why didn’t you do anything sooner?!”

>the harpy girl seemed almost hurt by their sudden yelling and on the verge of tears.

>her father spoke up

>”Now sweet pea, where did this van go?”

<“Oh yeah! It went this way! Follow me!”

>she took off with the other girls quickly following behind

>Sophia made a brief stop to get something at the park

>Amy picked up a big stick as she ran.

>the man tried to stop his daughter but couldn’t catch her in time

>he frantically pulled out his phone and got in his van

>he dialed 911 as he desperately tried to figure out which direction the girls went

>I woke up tied to a chair

>my mouth was gagged but the hood was gone

>start looking around to see where I was

>it was a small room, with a single wooden door, and a tiny window near the ceiling

>try making noise and moving the chair around.

>a stocky, burly man walked in the door after I started moving around

>”it’s good to see your awake. You have no idea how lucky you are. There’s a real nice lady who ‘’loves’’’boys like you

>I’m not stupid. I know that actually means something bad

>frantically shake my head and try to move the chair away from him.

>”oh don’t be upset. You’ll be perfectly taken care of. You’ll never have to worry about anything ever again.”

>another man walks in behind him

>I start crying

>I’m never gonna see my parents or friends again.

>they’re going to find me dead in some ditch

>the man got angry at me crying

>”You ungrateful brat! Do you have any idea how many people would kill to be in your position?!”

>he raises his hand to hit me when the other man grabs his fist

>”We don’t get paid for damaged goods. You’ve already hit him once, and if you hit him anymore he’ll have brain damage.”

>”Fine. But that Danuki better pay as good as you say she does. This ungrateful brat doesn’t seem worth the trouble.”

>”For what she’s paying us for this we could go vacation in the tropics for a year. Don’t screw it up or I’ll take the difference from your cut.”

>both men left me to cry alone

>I miss my friends.

<“You’re sure this is the place Sarah?”

>the harpy girl who had been leading the 5 girls nodded emphatically

<“Yep! I saw them go in that building.”

>she pointed to the warehouse the van was parked in front of

>the other 5 girls were hiding in bushes and looking at the building

<“How are we going to get inside?”

<“We could pretend to be sabbath preachers. They keep coming by on Sundays.”

>Sophia and Amy both shook their heads.

<“We should just bash down the door and rush in.

>then Charlotte starting shaking her head and gave her own idea

<“We should sneak in a window. They’ll never see us coming!”

>the girls all tried to convince the others their plan was the best when Francis spoke up

<“I have an idea.”

>the other girls turned to look at her

<“Charolette can go in a window, Sarah and I can go on the roof, and Adaline, Amy, and Sophia can try going in a door.”

>Charlotte immediately ran off to look for a window before anyone could stop her

>Adaline sighed

<“I guess that’s the plan we’re going with.”

>with that she walked towards the door followed by Sophia and Amy

>Sarah picked up Francis and they started flying up to the roof

>down below she saw Amy and Sophia hiding in bushes by the door as Adaline knocked

>Charlotte was scurrying around the building trying to find a way in

>and Francis herself watched as the roof gradually got closer

>Adaline made sure Amy and Sophia were both hidden before she knocked

>once the door was opened she would keep whoever opened it distracted before The ogre and high orc girl would rush him

>it took a moment before the door opened but eventually a tall and lanky man with a poorly maintained neckbeard opened the door

>Adaline put on her cutest face and did her best impression of a Sabbath missionary

<“Hello there sir. Do you have a moment to talk about the glory of Sabbath?”

>the man stared in surprise at the 7 year old before telling them to leave and tried to shut the door

>before he could, Amy and Sophia jumped out of the bushes and rushed in the door

>Amy immediately began to hit the man wherever she could with her stick

>Sophia, who had gone to get a jump rope, tried to tie up his legs

>had it just been the two of them, they might not have beaten him

>but then Adaline jumped on the man’s head and began viciously biting and scratching his face

>he was screaming as he fell, before he was knocked unconscious and hogtied with a jump rope by Sophia

>the three girls then went further into the building to look for anon.

>Charlotte was racing around the outside of the building looking for a small window to crawl through

>there were windows spaced every couple yards or so and Charlotte peeked through each one to find anon

>after reaching the back of the building, she found him gagged and tied to a chair

>she tapped on the window a few times to get his attention

>when he heard the tapping and saw Charlotte anon starting trying to jump the chair around again

>Charlotte tried to pull the window but it was locked

>she eventually decided to just try breaking it

>she gestured and tried pantomiming for anon to move the chair back

>while he did that, she went and got a rock and threw it through the window

>to anon, it was the most beautiful sound he ever heard

>Charlotte cleared the shards of glass and crawled in

>using a piece of glass, Charlotte cut anon free and took off the gag

>anon hugged and cried a little before Charlotte broke the hug

<“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

>they moved the chair under the window and anon started climbing out

>then the door opened

>3 loud and overjoyed voices all shouted at once

<“Anon!”

>they all rushed to him to make sure he was ok when Charlotte spoke up

<“come on let’s get out of here first!”

>the others realized that was probably best and lined up to follow anon out

>then they heard something click and turned around to see a second man holding a gun on them

>”All you are damned brats. Step off the chair, drop that stick, and line up against the wall.”

>slowly, the 5 children stepped up against the wall and lowered their heads

>anon wanted to cry again. They had been so close.

>the man motioned with his gun and made them walk into a large empty room

>”You’re hardly worth the trouble you little urchin. If it weren’t for what we’re being paid I would have beaten you senseless by now.”

>”When Jeremiah gets back, we’ll deal with the rest of you. We’re only getting paid for the boy.”

<“he won’t be coming back! We beat him and tied him up.”

>the man walked up to Sophia and slapped her

>”Shut up! I didn’t give you permission to talk!”

>at that moment his gun was pointed away from anyone and two shapes landed on him from above

>a fiery form landed on his shoulders while a bundle of shrieking black feathers landed on his gun arm

>The man hadn’t actually bothered to tie up anyone so when he went down Amy and Sophia jumped on him as well

>Adaline and Charlotte checked on anon and noticed he had bruises on his head and face

>anon was hesitant about it, but Adaline and Charlotte did get him to say what happened

>”He punched me a couple times.”

>Hearing this, Amy and Sophia locked eyes and both agreed to some unspoken plan

>Amy went to get the chair anon had been tied in, and Sophia went to find some extra rope

>with the kidnapper tied to a chair, and gagged like anon had been, Sophia asked Sarah to fly up the rafters and and bring the rope over it.

>once Sarah had brought it over and back down the girls pulled until the kidnapper, now upside down, had been lifted halfway to the ceiling and then tied the rope off.

>with anon safe and surrounded by his friends, he started crying like a baby. There was also crying from some of the girls and a large group hug.

>Though the police storming the building did spoil the moment somewhat.

>The children were hailed as heroes for stopping a child smuggling ring and resulted in several dozen arrests

>Anon and his friends were all returned to their parents safe and sound and continued to play together at the park in the afternoon

>though none of the girls ever left him by himself after that, and at least one of them escorted him home everyday

>anon didn’t seem to mind

FIN

Wew. This greentext went in a direction even I didn’t expect when I made the first one. But I’m happy with the final result. Hope you guys liked it as much as I did writing it.

https://archive.fo/KI32x

Since we’re over the bump limit and there’ll be a new thread soon here’s the archive

New thread: >>378675

>>377807

hahahahahaha how fucking incompetant

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