/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance★

“It was at the high school. Take Vanessa with you, it’s a good opportunity to give her some field experience.”

Fuck me sideways.

#

“Alright, thanks for contacting us so soon, Ederica.” I told to the teacher who placed the call in. She’s a Lich,an undead caster who raises the marks of her students from beyond the point of no return.

“Oh no, thank you for coming so early. I just hope you guys can catch whoever did this. We don’t want any more incidents and we caught this early enough that the paint’s still wet. I trust you’ll have this case solved by the end of the day?”

“Well, I’ll have to start an investigation, then once we get some suspects we’ll go from there.”

“I see. Well, Mr. Johnson, it was nice to meet you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, we’ve got a new teacher today, and I’m supposed to go make sure he doesn’t… have an incident with any of the students.”

I raised an eyebrow at the word ‘incident,’ but ultimately I dropped it. I had bigger fish to fry at the moment. After Ederica left, I looked up at the Graffiti.

C WUZ HERE XD

Well, it seems pretty obvious that whoever did this had a name that starts with a C. I could just go to the front office and get a read on all the students names that start with a C and go from there, but that doesn’t narrow the results down enough. I could start a crime scene investigation, or I could ask my ditzy partner what she thinks.

Looking over at her, I saw she was talking to a student, and making them look very nervous by the looks of it.

>What should I do first?

1) Go to the office

2) Investigate the crime scene

3) Go peel your partner from that poor kid and ask her what she makes of all this

4) Pretend you’re getting a more urgent call and leave Vanessa to fend for herself.

2) Let’s look for clues

2 then 3. We need her mind on the case not her stupid conspiracies

We definitely need to do 2), but if we can, 3), too. If our partner starts hitting on high school boys, that'll be a problem.

>>328578

secret option 5: tell your partner that the classroom nearby is empty and that he's hiding evidence of crime down his pants. She'll need to interrogate him thoroughly, clearly he's hiding something.

>>328577 (OP)

>>328578

I got a question: is the MC a man or a MG?

And if a MG, what kind is she?

Also: 2&3.

>>328630

This.

secret option 5

>>328578

2

>>328631

>“JOHNSON!” Bellowed a gruff, aged voice

>Oh great, now I’ll have to do something today.

>>328631

MC is a man. Has a MG assistant and a human boss. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

-OP

>>328646

Alright, choices are locked in. I'll type up a response as soon as I can. I'll keep my updates short so maybe I can crank out more than one of these in one night. plus, it'll give you more input in the long run.

Alright, lemme take a closer look at this graffiti. It was pretty high up, apparently they used the ladder in the corner to get high enough to paint it. Positioning the ladder against the wall, I slowly made my way up until I was eye level with it. It looked like she used two cans, black and white. Like Ederica said, it was still wet to the touch. I took a moment to sniff my paint covered fingers, then remembered that I’m just a human with a mere human sense of smell. There’s no way I can scooby doo this shit. I need someone who can smell better, or another clue.

Not long after I thought that, something caught the corner of my eye. Something matted within the semi-wet sticky paint. I went down a step and leaned in, squinting as hard as I could.

“Is… is that fur?” I slowly pulled the few strands free, then examined them closer with my magnifying glass. Hair is notoriously hard to guess the color of when you just have an individual strand, but it looked to be gray…ish. With a physical clue, I reached in my pocket and slipped the fur into an evidence bag.

As I make my way off the ladder I look back over to my partner Vanessa who seems to have advanced in her harassment of the student, now holding hands and starting to drag him off to the car. Vanessa has fairly short horns for a succubus, but that doesn’t make her any less lascivious in her presentation. Though wearing her ‘proper’ uniform, it’s heavily modified. Watching her from behind, the opened back of her uniform reveals her bare back is a host to a plethora of pleasure runes across it. Her skirt is cut short to the point where it hides almost nothing. It molds tightly to her cheeks and thighs as she walks away, tail a-swaying. Thigh high socks complete the alluring package. Even though she can be a pain to work with sometimes, her airheadedness was admittedly a little charming and can make working with her entertaining.

I consider bringing her back to the scene, away from the kid… “Nah.” She’ll cause the least amount of damage distracted with him. He’ll have to endure her in the meantime.

There are several ways I can tackle this; I have a tuft of grey fur and the scent of paint, I could try cross-referencing the fur to get the species of the culprit, but that would take a lot of time. If only I knew someone with sharper senses, I only got Vanessa. I mean, do succubi have the ability to smell that well? I honestly have no idea. Perhaps I could ask one of the students to help, but would that really be appropriate? Maybe it would be better to try my luck with the staff.

>Ask staff for help narrowing down who the fur or paint belongs to

>Ask student(s) for help narrowing down who the fur or paint belongs to

>Go back to the police station lab to cross-reference the fur to find the species of the culprit

>Get Vanessa to sniff the paint, she can probably find the paint cans that were used, right?

>>328693

I'll count that as a vote for 4 then.

>>328688

Option 4, and if that fails, option 3. Our culprit might be a staff or student, or known to them, so we don't want to start asking interested parties to analyze the evidence for us.

>4 Get Vanessa to sniff the paint

Oh boy, we getting our deputy lit af and I wanna see

No more votes, we're going to see if Vanessa can just solve this for us.

>>328883

>>328688

Is this dead, OP?

>>329191

No, sorry. Finals are going on, I just had a few really busy days. Updating soon

“Vanessa, get over here.” I command, causing her to click her tongue and mutter something to the boy before sauntering back over to me.

“What do ya want, detective?”

“Succubi have a sharp sense of smell, right?”

“Uhhh… I guess? Why?”

“Great, sniff this paint for me, then track down where it came from.”

“You had me at sniffing paint.” Vanessa flaps her wings, hovering in front of the paint with her nose just inhaling the shit out of the graffiti. I just stand there, watching her until she floats back down, a bit more wobbly on her feet than before.

“Hyeah, I knew y’were cool detective…” She slurs, putting her hands on my shoulders. I grab them and bring them together at her chest.

“Alright, just… try to focus. Sniff out where the can is. Ya think you can do that?”

“Mmmmmalright, nnno probshlem.” Vanessa’s arm flies out in some approximate direction, “Thaat’s tha wayy.” With a little encouragement she swerves to where the supposed can is… apparently across the road, away from the school.

As she drifts past the boy she hooks her arm around and pulls him in close. Deciding that the boy has probably has had enough of Vanessa for one day, I go to pry him off her.

“Nooooooooo” she whines, putting up token resistance before finally relenting. The boy mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me before running off.

Now being led by the compromised succubus, I’m helpless as she drags me off school grounds. Wait, this makes no sense, wouldn’t the culprit be a student? Isn’t more likely than not in the dumpster, or one of the student’s lockers?

#

“Alright, looks like you’ve led me to a park bathroom. Fuckin’ wonderful. Is this where the paintcan is?” I bark, having quickly lost my patience following her vague directions and listening to her dodge my questions.

“Whaaat’reya talkin’ ‘bout? Thissss is what you wanted, eh?” Vanessa purrs, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into the ladies’ room stall.

“I TOLD YOU TO LEAD ME TO THE PAINTCA- AND GET YOUR TAIL OUT OF MY PANTS!”

“Look, bud. I ‘unno what ya expected askin’ a ffffrickin’ succubus t’sniff some paint and track the scent of a -Aw hell, I’m comin’ down- of a paint can like I’m a dog or somethin.’” Vanessa pouted, reluctantly withdrawing her tail from my black slacks. “I thought you were tryin’ to tell me we’re gonna ditch this petty-ass case and go get high and fuck somewhere. My bad, I guess.”

“Eugh, you’re lucky it’s still your first week, and that I don’t really give a shit what you do in your free time.” I rub my temples, then consider that perhaps she’s right, this case is a little petty. Still, it’s my job to go perform an investigation. We walk back together, though it’s a little more awkward than before.

Just before we re-enter the school, Vanessa tugs on my arm.

“Uhhh… Detective?”

“Mhm?” I nod.

“Thanks for uh… I mean I’m sorry about that.”

I give her a small smile. “It’s alright, If I was as worked up as you are all the time, I probably would have taken your offer.”

“Do you still want me to accompany you, Detective?”

>”Let me think about that.”

1) Let her accompany you, ask teacher for help

2) Let her accompany you, ask student for help

3) Send her back, ask student for help

4)Send҉ her back,҉ ask teach҉er for h҉elp

>>329200

1) Let her accompany you, ask teacher for help

The last option sounded a bit ominus. We should take her with us to see what the teacher has up her sleeve.

>>329200

>4)Send҉ her back,҉ ask teach҉er for h҉elp

I want to see what's so spooky about this option

>>329200

I… I wanna see what 4 has in store, but I'm scare OP.

Picking 4 cautiously.

Kay, we're sending her back and asking the teacher for help, looks like. I'll start typing soon.

>>329200

>>329196

Bless yer heart for delivering, OP.

(I would've voted for Option 4, too, if I'd have gotten here earlier.)

IT BEGINS

“Yeah, I’ll dismiss you for today. You seem really pent up, and I can handle something like this by myself. Why don’t you take our fur sample back to the evidence locker so we can get forensic to take a look at it later. I’ll go chat up Ederica and see if she knows anything about all this.” I finally respond.

I go to hand over the bag to Vanessa, but something stops me. I glance at the bag again.

I CAN’T DROP THIS. I’LL NEED IT LATER.

…What?

I NEED THIS ITEM FOR MY CASE. I’LL TAKE IT WITH ME.

“Uh… never mind, I’ll hang onto it. Maybe, uh… maybe she’d know whose fur this was just looking at it.”

“Alright, so you’re gonna drop by the staff office then? Cool stuff. Let me know when you want me to pick you up, detective.” Vanessa gave me an awkward wave, then walked back to the police car.

Walking down the main hallway of the school, I catch a glimpse of Ederica just as she enters one of the rooms on the opposite end of the hall. Right, she’s the only staff member I’ve met so far. I head down to the door she entered only to notice the door opposite from the classroom was labeled ‘staff office.’ I swear, that was also a classroom… then again, this is my first time here at the school. I reach over to grab the door handle, only to pull away at the last second. I didn’t know any of the staff, it might be kinda awkward to just waltz right in and flash my badge. Besides, I’d feel a lot more comfortable talking with a teacher I was already familiar with.

Over my shoulder, I look to Ederica’s class. Inside, I see Ederica looking over her class with concern. Getting a closer look, I notice that all of her students are sitting in more or less the exact same pose, back upright and arms straight out to their sides. It looks… uncanny. I step towards the room, only finding the students even more strange with a closer inspection: their eyes didn’t seem to register anything in front of them. “Sorry, I’ll just be interrupting class for just a bit.”

The moment I step into the classroom every head snaps towards me, and welcomes me in a perfect sing-song harmony, “Good morning, sir!”

“Hah!” Ederica gasps, just as surprised as me at the classroom’s odd behavior.

The students continue as if nothing happened, chatter taking hold of the room. Ederica’s grip on the whiteboard marker relaxes as she sighs. “I’m going to have a word with the good detective, so work on your projects until I get back, alright?”

Ederica snatches my hand and drags me out of the classroom.

“You saw that too, right?” She whispers, gesturing behind us to the class, who all eerily watching us.

“What, the weird pose thing? I thought it was the new planking or something.” I admit.

“I mean, granted that may be the case, but they’ve never done that before. I mean, it’s just weird.”

“Yeah… Y’know, we’re getting off topic. I need you to give me a hand with something.”

“O-of course! Anything you need, detective.”

“Do you know a way we could find out whose fur this is? We found it stuck to the paint in the gymnasium.” I pull the hair from my pocket and hand it to her.

Ederica leans in and pushes her glasses up her nose, scrutinizing the fur. “Hmmm… I think I have a hunch, but may I open it?”

I nod.

She opens it and sniffs the bag’s contents. “Yeah, that’s her alright.”

“Uhhh, you know who this is just by smell?”

“I’ve been having a particularly… difficult student lately. She’s been acting out in class, not turning in her work, she’s even started to neglect basic hygiene. Her name is Claire and she’s in my afternoon class.”

“Damn, that was a lot easier than I expected. I thought I would have to ask multiple people, but looks like we’ve got a suspect already. Can I speak with her?”

“Of course, I’ll have a word with the principal. She’ll bring her right to you.” Ederica took a deep breath, and turn back around to face her class.

The class stares back, just as blankly as before.

Ederica mutters something that sounds vaguely like a prayer to herself. “Class, I’ll be back in a few minutes. So please, when I get back, stop being so… creepy.”

Before she even finishes her sentence, every student suddenly snapped back into moving normally like they weren’t just a perfectly synchronized hivemind a moment ago.

…Creepy.

One of the students in the front row speaks up. “Ahahahaha, just kidding Ms. Ederica, it was a hip new meme called Tzkcqw so yeah just kidding hahahaha.”

>>357479

What did he say? It sounded like my ear popped for a second but I didn’t feel anything. Still, things were getting pretty weird. I made a beeline for the administration office before my hearing got any worse.

#

I sat an office, facing a young mousegirl. Ederica had left the two of us to chat, so she could get back to her class.

“So… Claire, right?”

She didn’t answer and just kept her arms crossed, tail whipping back and forth behind her.

“You know, I don’t have to be nice about this or anything. I just figured I’d let you say your piece before I just threw you into the car and brought you down to the station.”

She looks pissed, but opens her mouth to speak. “I-I didn’t do nothin’.”

“Come on, we both know it’s too late for talk like that. Why’d you do it?”

Claire hesitates again. “I… I just wanna make my mark, you know? Like.. somethin’ to happen.”

“…What do you mean?” I ask.

“Like… I dunno… At least the walls’ll remember me, right?”

“So… you’re looking for attention then?”

“FUCK O- I mean… Fuckin’… shit. Look, I don’t want your hollow-ass pity. I’ve got my parents and class if I want to feel like I barely exist. Do whatever the hell you’re gonna do, cop.”

1. Bring ‘er in. No mercy for Ne'er-Do-Wells.

2. Question her further. What does she mean she barely exists? Ederica mentioned something about not keeping up with her own life, either.

3. She might be one of them ‘school shootemups.’ Better rummage through her private stuff!

4. Hey have you noticed that the other students are FUCKING WEIRD here?

5. [custom question]

>>357480

>2

>>357480

2+4

>>357480

4444444444444

>>357480

2+4 'cause there is something weird and it might be related

>>357480

4&2, definitely. And welcome back, OP.

>>357557

Forget something?

Just as an important side note, unlike some of the other quests on here I'm going to try and enforce the 1 choice only rule, so you can't pick both 4 and 2.

Unless you want to specify your actual vote, I'm going to use the number you listed first.

I hate quests for what they did to cuckchan /tg/, but this is super interesting to me, so please continue, OP.

>>357512

>>357566

Then I'm gonna pick the 2

>>357566

Then I choose 4 instead.

>>357712

Gotta sage, newfag. It's what keeps quests under control here.

>>358241

Sage your posts newnigger.

>4. Hey have you noticed that the other students are FUCKING WEIRD here?

“I’m sorry that I offended your delicate millennial sensibilities, but I’d actually like to ask you a different string of questions.”

The mouse gives me a death glare, but hesitantly answers. “Alright you old fart. What is it?”

“Have you noticed your fellow students… acting weird?”

“Whatcha mean?”

“Like… I came to the classroom and all the students were doing this weird pose and not movi-”

I nearly jump when the mouse assumes that same position from before, staring at me with blank eyes. A few tense moments pass. What do I do? Get Ederica again? Leave? Wait it out?

Claire snaps out of it, laughing. “Come on old man, that shit? We’re just memeing on you. We do that shit all the time! Even really spooked the principal with it once, hahaha. Anyway, can I go now?”

I think about it a second. Ah, fuck it, she’s just a kid.

“Alright, you’re free to go, but if I catch wind of something like this again, I’m handing you over to my partner, and she’s going to be enjoying that a hell of a lot more than you will.”

The young mouse dabs on me, yelling “MISS ME WITH THAT LESBIAN SHIT!”

Before I can even respond, she runs out of the room, her arms stretched out behind her back.

Back at the station…

After washing the cringe off me that that mouse tacked on with her dabbing stunt, I was back at the police station, getting congratulated by my boss for once.

“Good work, Johnson. I knew there was a reason we kept a loose cannon like you on the force. And your partner, Vanessa, she really showed that she could handle herself under all that pressure.”

“…Chief, I sent Vanessa home, it was a school graffiti case. What the fuck did you think I was doing?”

“Processing.”

“Processing? Nah, I let her go, she was just some kid who wanted attention is all.”

“Good work, Johnson. I knew there was a reason we kept a loose cannon like you on the f-f-fo- Yeah, good job with the graffiti case. Those kids, am I right?”

“Oookay.”

The chief clears his throat. “Well, err… there is another case that I’d like you to get on before you go.”

“And what would that be?”

“Someone anonymously reported suspicious activity at the water tower, they saw a group of young hooligans up to some no-goodniking no doubt. I’m sending Vanessa with you, so head up there as quickly as you can and see what they’re doing.”

“Wait, can I have someone else? Vanessa is kind of-”

#

“So, you feeling okay? I mean you really huffed the shit out of that paint.” I ask, keeping my eyes focused on the road.

“Uh… yeah, I think so. I’m usually fine after I take my supplements for the day.”

“Uh, you take supplements to stop you from being high?”

“Of course! I wake up my brain with a cutting-edge nootropic! WOKEFORCE™!

“What the hell is a wokeforce?”

“No, WOKEFORCE™! It keeps me woke!”

“Like… awake?”

“NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! I’M FUCKING W O K E! SUPER FEMALE VITALITY!”

“Uh, you know, you said you were feeling okay, but should we turn around and-”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY’RE FUCKING DOING UP THERE PENIS T. PENISSON? THEY’RE UP THERE GLOWING IN THE DARK AND PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER!” The succubus grabs me by the collar and it takes all of my fucking attention not to just drive off the side of the road. “THEY’RE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER TO MAKE THE WOMEN RAPISTS!”

That’s fucking it. “ALRIGHT, I NEED YOU TO FUCKING TAKE WHATEVER ILLICIT SUBSTANCE YOU NEED TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW, VANESSA!”

“Oh no, the patented #woke formula won’t wear off for at least a few more hours.” Vanessa whispers, much to my chagrin.

“Can you shut the FUCK up for a second? Let’s give these kids a stern talking to about the dangers of urban exploration and be done with it.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll try out your stupid wokeforce shit.”

“I think you mean WOKEFORCE™. And nah, I want something a little more… immediately gratifying.”

“I am NOT-”

“Look, all I’m asking is for you to let me suck you off on the way back. It won’t be that hard, will it?”

“I will fucking crash and it’ll be all your fault, so no.”

“T-touch my tiddy?”

“No.”

“C-come on! Just 3 seconds and then I’m done!”

“Fucking… Fine. Whatever. Do it and hurry the hell up.”

Vanessa practically jumps on my arm and jams my hand down her shirt. A few awkward seconds pass. Is she…? Yep. She sure is.

“Vanessa? You’re drooling.”

She awkwardly slurps up the long strand of drool hanging inches from my arm and tries to cover up the obvious arousal on her face. “N-no I wasn’t. L-let’s go Johnson!”

We get out of the car, and sure enough, there’s a group of monster teens in backpacks loitering around the base of the water tower, and one oomukade is attempting to crawl up one of the legs of the tower, with little success.

Vanessa speaks up before I can even get a word in. Looks like she’s still pretty… ‘woke.’ “WELL WELL WELL! LOOKS LIKE THE CENTIPEDE’S OUT OF THE…. BASEMENT!”

The group all turn to us. Looks like we have their attention now.

1) “What the hell are you all doing here?”

2) Let Vanessa handle it.

3) Detain them.

4) ‘Detain’ them.

>>358506

I kinda want to pick 2 because it sounds funny but I'm too afraid of the possible ramifications. So I'm going with 1

>>358573

Aww fuggggg I put sage in the wrong field

>>358506

1) let’s see what these hooligans are up to.

>>358573

Protip: deleting your post undoes the bump.

I'll be the brave soul that picks two cause I like useless succ deputy and I need more of her.

>>358505

>thought the whole class was a fucking shoggoth or something

>just faggot kids

Dammit.

Man, why would I even consider letting Vanessa handle this? I’m the only competent adult in this entire damn town as far as I’m concerned besides Ederica, and this is my fucking job.

“Hey! You there! What do you kids think you’re doing!?” I shout, reaching for the badge in my pocket and preparing to flash it to them.

“Yeah, get the FUCK on the-” Vanessa begins before I hold out a finger to cut her off.

“No. You stay in the car, you stoned piece of shit. Go make yourself some instant coffee or whatever.”

Vanessa huffs, but crosses her arms. Looks like she’s still sober enough to follow orders.

As soon as I bark at the ruffians, who all look vaguely insectoid the closer I get, a good majority of them scatter to the wind like… well, bugs. However, two of them stay behind. An oomukade and a beelzebub.

“So… what the hell were you doing?” I ask.

“What’s it to you?” The oomukade replies without skipping a beat, “We aren’t breaking any laws, so you shouldn’t even be bothering us.”

“Look, I’m not trying to bug you, I’m just doing my job, and whether you’re breaking the law or not remains to be seen. ”

I saw her eye twitch somewhere in the middle of that sentence. Geez, someone’s on the rag.

“Did you just fucking-? I can’t say I’m surprised you’re talking that way about the Legion of Ga- …us, coming from a wagecuck like you.”

“What the hell are you even- Okay, look. For starters, if you’re doing nothing wrong, why did most of your little posse bug out when I approached?”

The oomukade is practically fuming. “STOP SAYING THAT!”

Is she on dru-

Oh. Oooh. Bug puns, huh?

“Look, I’m not happy to be here either, I was snug as a bug in a rug in my office earlier when I got the call about some suspicious characters around the water tower. Look, just tell me what you guys are doing and I’ll bug off.”

She has a white-knuckled grip on the backpack she’s holding. Heh, gotta get your kicks somehow with this job.

“Well, if you must know, we’re an avid group of gamers that are going on… an urban exploration adventure. Yeah, and we may or may not have… dared one another to climb up the water tower.”

The beelzebub clears her throat and speaks up from behind the oomukade. “Di-Didn’t you just yell ‘gamers rise up’ and-”

“NO I-” She stops herself, then clears her throat. “No, I didn’t. You were probably just imagining I was.”

I decide to get this conversation back on track. “So what are you… gamers… carrying in those backpacks?”

“It’s our laptops and LAN cables, duh! No self respecting gamer would leave home without them!”

“Uh huh… mind if I have a look?”

“Yes, actually. Keep your Normalfag hands off.”

“What if I insist?”

“I’m a protected citizen, you don’t have the right to search my things without a warrant.”

Shit, she has a point. Even if she is rather annoying, she doesn’t… sound dangerous, just abrasive. Being abrasive isn’t a crime.

“Man, I really don’t have the energy to deal with a sovereign citizen. Can you just promise me that you’ll stay away from this area of the park? If I get another call like this, I’ll have probable cause to actually search your bags and I’d rather not rifle through whatever expensive tech you might be hiding in there.”

The Oomukade clicks her tongue. “Man, we live in a society where nobody bats an eye if you don’t leave your house for two weeks straight, but climb up the leg of one water tower and everyone loses their minds.”

“Just promise me.”

“Okay, fine. Whatever.”

…

“Waiting for you to say ‘I promise.’”

“…I promise, officer Petty.”

>>359841

“Sooo, the substance you were snorting when I came back to the car was NOT cocaine?” I ask my partner, who I had cuffed and held against the side of the car. Paint and nootropics? Whatever. An illegal schedule II substance? Nuh-uh.

“What? No, it was just cum. You took too long and the WOKEFORCE™ wore off so I had to do something to keep myself awake.”

“I’ve never seen cum that comes as a powder before.”

“That’s because you have to dehydrate it on glass before scraping the dust off, stupid! Look, if you don’t believe me, just smell it and you’ll know what I mean.”

I sigh, she is really wearing my patience thin, but if I’m just not ‘hip’ with all the cool new drugs anymore, I’m not just going to throw my partner in a cell.

“You realize that if this smells like cocaine, you’re going to jail.” I say very calmly.

“Yeah, yeah. Just smell it so we can go home.” Vanessa rolls her eyes.

I hover my nose as close to the bag as I was comfortable with, and take a little s n i f f .

Yep, that mixture of salt and bleach smell was unmistakably jizz.

“Alright, I’m sorry for acting all rash. You understand though, right? Gotta keep these streets safe and all…”

“Bite me, detective. You’re not on the cool list anymore.” Vanessa huffs as I uncuff her.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do to get back in your good graces?”

“You can start by using those cuffs for something a little kinkier.”

“WE’RE LEAVING!” Fucking succubi I swear to fuck.

I burst through my front door and make a beeline to the couch, dropping myself onto it unceremoniously. God, that should have been an easy day, but dealing with weird-ass kids on top of the usual bullshit Vanessa pulls has worn me out. Having all that wokeforce shit after everything being so… weird at the school is more than I’m willing to put up with.

At least the kids at the water tower were easier to deal with than that mouse at the school. I still can’t believe they were all in on fucking with an officer sent to clean up the school. There’s usually at least one rat.

…Heh.

At least it was all open-and-shut today. I guess if you had enough days like this you really could just end up a cum-snorting retard if you let yourself slip. Well, I guess the chief was acting weird today too. It seemed like he wasn’t really paying attention, but…

…Fuck, this is bothering me. I’m not getting any sleep thinking about this squirrely shit. Looks like I’m doing some more investigating, even if it’s only so I can actually sleep tonight. Should I…

1. Something’s bothering me about the school still. I could check it out while nobody’s there.

2. Those kids from the water tower said something about being legion and gamers or something. I should see if I can figure out what they’re doing.

3. Is the chief like… doing alright? I should try and figure out what the hell he’s doing that’s got him so fucked up.

4. I don’t fucking trust Vanessa for a second. Maybe I should check on what she’s doing out of uniform.

>>359842

>4. check on vanessa

If she's acting weird, we should handcuff and "interrogate" her

>>361931

I like your reasoning the best, school it is.

I keep thinking back to that damn school. What the fuck was up with those students? Was it really just a meme? I mean, I’d believe it if I saw it myself, but what if it’s something more… sinister?

I pull up to the school in my crown vic, taking a parking spot near the door in case I catch any heat from the town’s half-dozen regular beat cops. I doubt I could talk my way out of trouble with them, since I don’t have a warrant and I can’t even remember any of their names offhand.

As I make a loop around the horseshoe-shaped exterior of the school, nothing seemed off about it. However, I notice that one of the classroom’s lights were on, and there were no cars in the parking lot. Shit, just when I’d started thinking I was being paranoid.

Guess it’s time for me to see if I can still pick a lock.

After a few minutes of fumbling, I manage to get one of the side doors open. Stepping inside, I find myself in a very familiar hallway. I can see a few classrooms stretching down the hall, including the one Claire goes to. But… no staff room? I swear it was right here.

There’s just another classroom, and when I take a look inside, I find it empty. Like, really empty. No tables, chairs, nothing. Just an empty box with a window facing the courtyard. Must be remodeling?

Maybe it’s just further down the hall. I round the corner and turn to find another hallway. There are two doors on either side at the very end once again. I scan the doors, take notice on just how fucking clean this school is kept and round the corner once more.

Another hallway… wait a fucking second. This school shouldn’t have four hallways, something’s fucky. In fact, it seemed to have almost the exact same layout as the other hallways.

I start to pay close attention to the walls as I make my way down the hallway. There’s posters advertising school events such as career day, an anti-drug speaker, and a Lunar Festival Social. The final poster was vandalised, with ‘MORE LIKE RAPEMAS OMEGALUL’ scrawled in a corner with the same kind of writing I’d seen on the gym wall. Looks like Claire sure got around.

>>363846

I turn the corner again and find the same damn hallway. Now I definitely know something’s wrong here. There’s the same posters, same graffiti, same spotless fucking water fountain. Not even water marks or any kind of physical wear. Okay, time for a quick experiment. I turn around and go back the way I came. Maybe if I just-

This is the same hallway.

Shit.

Wait, how the hell am I supposed to leave?

As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I notice that there’s someone standing at the end of the hallway. Who the fuck… Clarissa!? My sahuagin roommate!? She was definitely older than a high school student, so what the hell was she doing out here?

After thoroughly getting spooked by Clarissa just standing there in the middle of the hallway, I finally decide to approach her. Before I could even say anything, the sahuagin dashed into the classroom. The only classroom. What the hell is she going to do in an empty r-

As I throw open the door to the classroom I’ve seen is empty, nearly 30 pairs of eyes turn to me. It’s… Ederica’s classroom? It’s a fully-furnished classroom full of students who are all looking at me now, and Clarissa’s nowhere to be seen.

…Hang on, why the hell is there a complete classroom of students here in the middle of the night?

Nearly before I can even ask the question, every student manages to simultaneously answer me.

“WE ARE IN NIGHT CLASSES, DETECTIVE.”

Ah. This again. Actually…

Isn’t this Claire’s class? I recognise a few of the students, despite them looking almost offensively generic. I feel like the only one missing is Claire herself.

“And you’re here 24 hours a day, are you?”

And suddenly they all clam up. All but one look away, and the last one, a boy wearing glasses stares at me for nearly a full minute before he says anything.

“…We are waiting for our teacher. You should leave.”

I decide to bullshit the kid a little to see if he’ll be a little more cooperative. “Look, kiddo, I’m on an official investigation with the poli-”

“We are waiting for our teacher. You should leave.”

“Excuse me?”

The students all turned back to me again. Something in their eyes was… unnatural. More than before. I’m starting to get creeped out.

“We҉ are ҉waiting for҉ our teach҉er҉.҉ Y҉ou shou҉l҉d leave.”҉

I’m not a superstitious man, but I figure it’s time to leave. Wouldn’t want to bother them while they’re taking night classes. I mean, they’re waiting for their teacher. I’m disturbing their learning experience.

Y-yeah.

As I look down the hallway again, it looks a lot different than the one I’d wandered down for so long. I can even see the staff room. Maybe, uh… Maybe the night teacher would be more receptive to questions.

I open up the door to the staff room and find it empty. I’m not sure what I even expected at this point, but at least there’s furniture and signs of inhabitation now.

Well, kind of. It seems like only one desk is seeing any use, and it has Ederica’s ID tag on it. Looking through the other desks, I do find some papers, though. Mostly blank, but one has a few class lists in it.

CLASS: 10-A

INSTRUCTOR: EDERICA

STUDENTS:

CLAIRE

00034҉E6D

00҉0222B7

000294҉BF

000҉27E03

00025264

0҉0024413

It went like that for a while. Just looking at made feel… ill. The only thing I could get out of it was that there were 10 classes, but they were all the same. Ederica as the teacher, Claire as the one named student and a bunch of… fuck.

You know, at this point I’m 90% sure I’m just dreaming all this. I must have just fallen asleep on the couch and not gotten up. Or maybe they’re playing a prank on me again. Claire was acting pretty normal and she was in on it, too, so who even knows. I don’t think I’m getting any more out of this either way.

As I turn around to leave, I glance at what I had assumed was a coat rack.

It wasn’t a coat rack.

It was an old man in a janitor’s jumpsuit, facing the middle of the room, completely unmoving, his arms straight out to his sides like the students had been earlier today.

1. AH FUCK KILL IT!

2. High-five the janitor for his sweet new meme and T-pose too.

3. OH HI GOODBYE SORRY I WAS JUST LEAVING!

4. You know, this is starting to get to be a little much for me.

1.

We are a cop so we must shoot him. We won't even get charged if he is white.

Fucking matrix shit. Damn thing cutting corners to save on CPU and memory.

>4

There comes a point where you realize you're out of your depth. And also not getting paid to be out of your depth. That's when you leave to get reinforcements. Or at least regroup. And we're in the matrix, so there are no reinforcements.

>>363933

>forgot sage

brb committing sudoku

>>363848

3.

I vote 3 :3

>>363848

i vote 2

2. Sweet meme, my dude.

Haha, I remember this. It was that s w e e t n e w m e m e Clarissa was talking about. This janitor was clearly just shit-testing me, I’m not about to be left in the dust!

“Sweet meme, my dude! High five!” I slap the T-posing man’s hand, following up with a T pose of my own.

There’s several tense moments as I attempt to assert my dominance over the middle-aged memester, but after what seemed like minutes, the janitor drops his arms and spins around.

A strange-sounding laugh emanates from the man before he speaks up, sounding normal again. “Sure got ya, huh, bucko?”

I can’t help but laugh. How’d I fall for this trick twice in one day? “Oooooh, yeah. Man, the kids got me again, too!”

“Heh. Yep, they’re good at what they do. Whole class got together to pull one over on ya.”

“No kidding. I mean, the hallways, the empty rooms, the different layout… they’re pretty damn creative. Shame they didn’t let Claire join in, too.”

There was a pause. “Ah, yeah. The little mouse, right? You know what kids are like. At least she’s getting some sleep, huh?”

“No kidding, you ought to send those kids back home. It’s still a Monday night.”

“I reckon you’re right.” The janitor jangled his keys. “I’ve gotta lock up now. Have yourself a good night, detective.”

Relieved, I headed home and collapsed into my bed for a well-earned rest.

I woke up, not to my alarm, but to the sound of the smoke alarm going off. Holy shit, my house is getting burned down!

Grabbing the revolver I keep under my pillow, I tuck and roll off my bed, not even bothering to change out of my long johns. I have a license to kill, right? I think detectives get one by default or something. Throwing my door open and sliding stylishly down the bannister, I narrowly avoid crushing my unmentionables with the post at the bottom, hopping off at the last second. Immediately I spring up and aim around the room, expecting a nice, juicy home intruder to pepper with lead, but only find my roommate sheepishly holding a plate of burned waffles.

“Oh, it’s just you.” I sigh in disappointment, lowering my gun. “I was about to shoot you, you know.”

Clarissa rolls her eyes, giving her burned waffles an extra generous smattering of Aunt Jemima. Great, now I sound like some kind of Lord of the Flies psychopath.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, I just… eh, I guess I overreacted a little. Anyway, what were you doing at the school last-”

Before I can even finish my sentence, she’s already out the door. Fuck, she’s a slippery little sahuagin.

Oh well, I should be going to work soon anyway. I haven’t even showered yet. This morning’s a right mess.

>>365987

I get into the station a little early and manage to grab a coffee before I head over to my desk. Looks like… paperwork. God dammit. I still need to fill out that report on the chat I had with Claire yesterday. At least I don’t have to write one on my rationale for breaking into a school just to get memed on last night.

I lean back and stretch out, but my head bumps against two suspiciously soft somethings. Maybe if I ignore her, she’ll leave me alone. Succubi can’t see you if you don’t move. I think.

“Well~ If it isn’t my favourite Dick…” Came a sultry, sing-song voice from behind me.

Not this shit. Not this early. “If you insist on using my first name, will you at least-”

“Aaaanyway, my sweet, sweet Johnson, how are you this fine morning?” Vanessa plops herself down onto my lap and puts a hand on my chest. “Ready for another long, hard day solving cases together?”

I swear to god, if she wasn’t cute, I’d run her over in the parking lot, and I’m already considering it, even if she has the finest ass I’d ever seen. “Yeah. You know what, I’m good. Colours flying at full mast, at attention, all the penis euphemisms you could think of. Now get off my lap before I dump you off of it. I need to get to work.”

“We’re working together today, but you can dump something in me before we get to work~”

“The only thing I’d consider dumping into you is a pistol magazine. What are we doing?”

The succubus gives me a devilish grin. “We get to have a long, steamy session together in the squad car~”

For fuck’s sake. “Are you planning on providing more detail, or am I going to have to confiscate your powdered cum and wokeforce?”

“I’M SORRY, WE’RE DOING A STAKEOUT ON THE CRACK HOUSE ON 26TH!”

“That’s more like it.”

Wait. Am I actually being assigned to sit in a car for an unspecified amount of time with this thirsty-ass succubus? I feel like this is going to end poorly already.

“Sooo… What are we gonna do to kill aaaaall that time?” Vanessa walks her fingers up my shoulder.

I hear a notification sound from my work computer. An email? Maybe it’s a case! I hold my finger up at her and then sit down, opening up my inbox.

Detective Johnson:

You don’t know me, but I know you. I understand you’ve had a run-in with some of the town’s self-proclaimed gamer’s league. You don’t know it now, but these girls are up to something truly sinister, and if you don’t stop them, you’ll pay for it later. I can help you, but not without a fee. If you wish to discuss this more, meet me at the train station at high noon.

Vanessa, having also read the email over my shoulder, piped up. “Sounds lame. Come on, don’t think of it as a stakeout, think of it as a romantic car-date! We’ll get lunch, pick up some nice wine, I can spill a little on my lap, you can lick my thighs clean, we can make some mistakes together and make the car rock a little…”

Just as I felt my murderous rage coming to a head, my phone rang. Not the chief’s phone, my phone. Before Vanessa could get another word in, I snatched it from the line. Anything to give me an excuse not to talk to her.

“Y’ello, you’ve reached Detective Johnson!”

“Oh goodness me.” Said a posh, blustery voice on the other end. “My apologies, I didn’t expect you to pick up so quickly. My name is George Callay, I run the radio station downtown. There are… a rather troubling group of youngsters trying to get their radio signal broadcasted throughout town.”

“Troubling youngsters? Any details on what they look like?” I asked.

“They look rather unkempt, even for insects. I would just send them out but they said ‘gamers rise up’ and blockaded me inside the room, saying they’ll wait until I’m ready to cooperate. I have security on the way, but if you could give these rapscallions what-for, I’d appreciate it.”

Bug girls? Gamers rise up? Goddammit. I have a few options on what I could do, but whether I have time to do them all remains to be seen. It all comes down to what I think the highest priority is.

1) Do the stakeout with Vanessa. Seems important, I guess. Would it really be that bad to get the succ from the succ?

2) Do the case I just got, I didn’t want to spend all morning with the cum-sniffing degenerate anyway.

3) Train station at high noon. Whoever sent that letter probably knows something important.

4) Fuck work, I’m forcing myself to puke in the bathroom and having a ‘me day.’

Fucking surrounded by degenerates, idiots, or both.

>2

Crackhouse ain't gonna fly away, and it ain't noon yet. Fucking idiot gamer bugs ain't played enough strategy games to think to make their own fucking pirate radio for whatever fucking dumb shit they're planning. FCC's problem, and they take fucking months with all their shitty red tape.

>>365988

go solve the insect problem. bribe the succubis into helping you by letting her give you roadhead.

>3

They said high noon. It can't be anything but a traitor.

I roll my eyes and stand. “Yeah, no. I have more important shit to do, Vanessa. Try not to sample the product too much during that stakeout.”

Vanessa stumbles back and falls over dramatically. “B-but … we were going to… I was going to give you my first time, you know…”

“I call bullshit.”

“Oh, fine. Spoil the fun, why don’t you. Buuut… there’s still a crackhouse to bust. C’mon, I know how much you love shootin’ them sambos!

“Vanessa, the crackhouse is still going to be there later today. I really want to stop these fucking kids who should be in school before they do whatever dumb shit they have planned.”

Vanessa crosses her arms, clearly disappointed. “Well alright, I guess you’re still my superior aren’t you?”

“Alright, good. Now stay here while I go handle this.” I grab my hat and briefcase, starting to walk out to the car before I notice Vanessa was still following me.

“Uh… You gonna see me out?”

The succubus crosses her arms. “No, I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not. I don’t want to deal with how horny you just were all damn morning.”

“Ya-huh, chief’s orders! You can’t leave me by myself anymore.”

“Anymore? Wh-? Look, I haven’t heard about this so unless I get a call from the chief himself-”

My office phone rang. I swear to god if it’s who I think it is…

“Y’ello, you’ve reached Detective Johnson.”

“Johnson, it’s your boss.”

Oh fuck. “Chief! We were just talking about you.”

“Oh really? Imagine that.” The chief clears his throat before he continues. “I just wanted to uh… inform you that you’re no longer allowed to leave Vanessa unattended due to an… Incident last night.”

I gulp. “Come on, it can’t be that bad. What kind of incident?”

“Don’t worry about it, Johnson.”

“Chief, I’m worried about it.”

“Stop worrying.”

“You’re not my dad!”

“I’m your boss.”

“FUCK!”

“Just for that, I also order you to satiate your fellow officer’s thirsts too. We CANNOT have a repeat of last night. Do you hear me?”

“Again, WHAT HAPPENED LAST NI-?” Before I can even finish, he hangs up.

“C’mon detective, are we goin’ or what?”

I sigh in defeat. Goddammit.

“Awww, did the detecty-wecty get cucky-wucky’d by his bossy-wossy?” Vanessa gloats.

“How the FUCK did you know that?”

“What else could have made you react like that?”

“Hey, for all you know, the chief just told me my mother died.”

“I know what happened last night, I know it was about me. And if you don’t want a repeat of last night, you’re going to at least let me give you some good old fashioned road head~!”

“…This is fucking bullshit, for the record.”

>>368594

I shift a little in my seat, trying to pay attention to the road instead of the succubus bobbing her head up and down in my lap.“That’s… ah… Yeah, al- yeah, could you just…”

I could tell she was trying to give me a sexy look when her horns bumped against the steering wheel, almost sending me into a car beside me.

“Fuck! Vanessa!”

“Aw yhuu ghunna cuhm?”

“God, how much of a quick shot do you think I am? Be carefu-aaah. Careful! I’m not writing the report on how I crashed the squad car because you were sucking me off and tapped the wheel.”

“Sowwy. Here, Ahm gwonna-”

I leaned back a little to give her more room and tried to get my mind back on driving. Actually… I mean, she’s a succubus, but like… wow. I didn’t think anyone that stupid could work their tongue that-

Shit!

Okay. Okay, pay attention, detective. The fellatio’s good but you just blew through a stop sign in a school zone and the lights weren’t even on. Focus. Fucus. Fuck us. Fuck that mou- FUCK!

“Iff ih ghud? Ah didn’ fink yhud laft thiff long.”

“Yes it’s g- Move your stomach, I need to shift gear.”

OH FUCKING GOD. I swerve and hit the brakes when I realise the mistake that telling her to do that was.

Her solution to ‘move your stomach’ was putting her butt in the air and putting all her weight onto her mouth, taking my dick deeper into her throat than I would’ve thought was possible.

When Vanessa realised what had just happened, she giggled, her throat still full of cock. I grab her head and pull her off before the vibrations get to me.

“Aww… Do you want to just finish it here while we’re stopped~?”

“Fffffucking… There’s a crime in progress! I’m not stopping for 20 minutes and missing them! Just cut it out and let’s get to work.”

“You proooomised though… Now let me back at it, honey. We wouldn’t want Johnson junior to get cold~”

I sigh. I’m already wasting time. I lift my arm and she wraps those extremely distracting lips around my dick again. “…Can you at least shut up? Your dirty talk is worse than an awkward high schooler.”

“Oooh, fo youw not cummigh becauff you’d raffer one of those ghirlz?”

“I said shut up.” I say, pushing her down further.

I can’t tell if it was a mistake or not, considering it’s starting to make my arms shake a little, but at least she’s stopped talking.

I keep driving, just trying to get to the radio station before any more mishaps occur. I’m swerving a little bit, but I think it’s mostly under control. Just… thinking about other stuff. Like puppies and rainbows and stuff. Puppies don’t get their lipstick on things when they lick things with those tongues. Then again, they’re not as good with their tongues as- Fuck.

Okay. Refocus. What about that time I was stuck in a snowstorm when I was visiting my uncle’s farm in high school? That’s got nothing to do with anything. It was cold as hell. Cold like when I don’t have my partner’s lips wrapped around-

I hear a police siren flip on behind me. Am I… Oh no. I’m fucking getting pulled over in a squad car. That’s it I guess. Career over. Nice run I suppose.

Vanessa starts deepthroating me hard and fast, and it’s getting hard to try and push her off. “Vanessa! Get off! They’re comi-”

It’s too late. I see a different succubus in a police uniform sidle up to the side of the car with a look of disdain. “Detective, are you actually driving drun- oooooooooooh~!”

The officer grinned ear to ear when she saw Vanessa working my dick while I tried vainly to push her off. Before she said another word, she leaned into the window and high-fived Vanessa.

“Never mind, you two! You go for it, girl.” She looks at me for a second and winks. “You kids be careful. Honk when you cum, I’ll be listening~”

When the policewoman had driven away, Vanessa pulled her head off of me with a pop. “Johnson, what’s wrong? You should’ve cum like three times by now! Am I not-”

That was enough for me. “Oh I don’t know, Vanessa. Maybe it’s the constantly almost dying and/or losing my job that’s keeping me soft, you fucking… succubus!”

She looked a little sheepish for a moment and twiddled her thumbs. “Um… m-maybe this could wait until we get to the radio station then? Sorry… I just… well, I don’t want you to have to arrest some kids with blue balls…”

A group of insect girls clustered around the gate leading to the radio tower, taking turns trying to open the lock so they could move their equipment inside.

One of the legionnaires took another glance back at the police cruiser in the parking lot of the radio station. There was one officer inside who was gripping the side of his car hard enough to be denting it. Even this far away, she could see him gritting his teeth and giving them the nastiest look she’d ever gotten.

“U-um… gals? He’s starting to look really mad now. Y-you don’t think he’s gonna police brutality us, do you?”

Before any of the other girls could respond, the policeman in the car gave a loud yell, making a few of the more skittish among the group jump. He shuffles around in the car a little before opening the door and standing up on shaky legs.

1. Detain them. No more bullshit.

2. Squish “Detain” them. I fucking warned them.

3. Handcuff Vanessa to the seat before you go talk. She’s a pain in the dick and she’ll probably like it anyway.

4. Interrogate them with Vanessa. She’s probably hip with the kids. Or at least she’s one of them.

>>368594

>did the detecty-wecty get cucky-wucky’d

>cucky

excuse me?

>>368597

heh, so he satisfied her thirsts in the end. thanks writefag

>3. Handcuff Vanessa to the seat

this sounds funny.

>>368597

Vote for 3.

>>368597

3 and 2.

>3. Cuff the degenerate and question the bugs

“Alright, detective. As a reward for being such a good sport, I won’t bother you at all on the way back~” Vanessa promises as I reach for the cuffs in her belt.

“Give me your wrist.” I command.

Vanessa bites her lip, covering her face as she daintily offers me her wrist. “So forceful, detective. Do you maybe want a round t-”

Clink-chk

Vanessa uncovers her face to see that I’ve cuffed her wrist to the side mirror on the car. “There, now you can’t bother me during the investigation either.”

“W-wait, you can’t just leave me here, detective! Y-you can’t leave me alone, remember~?” She persuades, a slight twinge of desperation in her voice.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, tell the chief? Because if you do then I won’t fuck you on the way back.”

Vanessa gulps, quieting down. “F-fine, but… promise me you won’t do anything… rash in there? Okay?”

“Rash? Like what?”

“Oh I dunno, don’t make them bite a curb and stomp their heads in.” Vanessa snaps.

“Wha? Me? The thought had never even crossed my mind!” I lie.

Fortunately, arguing with Vanessa has taken most of the post-fellatio wobblies out of my legs and I manage to do my most threatening police walk over to the ne’er-do-wells assembled around the radio tower.

“WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY YESTERDAY!?” I shout at the assembled girls, putting a hand on my gun menacingly.

A trembling moth stares at me, wringing her skirt and hesitantly standing in front of the group. “Y-you’ve got the wrong… uh… um… j-just asking, but you’re n-not going to hurt us, right?”

I smile warmly at them. “You know, that really depends, considering you seem to have forgotten that little friendly warning I gave you yesterday, and then you went ahead and locked the manager in his office.”

The oomukade I saw before piped up from the back. “D-don’t believe him! He’s a police officer so he can’t hit us unless we hit him! He’s bluffing! Stand tall, Gamers!”

“No, I’m a detective, and I’m detecting a little bit of sass my partner named Officer Baton could work out.”

Several of the girls let out a terrified squeak before the moth pipes up again. “W-we’ll stop! Just d-don’t…”

“Alright, well why don’t we start with what you’re trying to do here, huh?” I say, getting a little high off the bad cop energy.

A dozen pairs of feet shuffle around awkwardly, to say nothing of the rest of the multi-limbed troublemakers assembled. “U-um… You see, it’s… uh…”

“MIXTAPE!” The oomukade yelled.

“…What?”

“It’s our mixtape. We were just sick of all the 80s and 90s crap on the radio, so like… we made our own stuff and we were gonna play it!”

I squint. “Why don’t you just listen to another radio station?”

“There isn’t one! This is the only radio station, and all anyone has are walkmans! The CD store doesn’t have anything from after 2000! I mean, even Alexa Jonesy has to do a podcast because there’s just no room for a proper radio show here.”

There’s only one radio station? I guess I just… never noticed. “Well, look. We can’t help there’s only one station, we’re just a small town in the middle of…”

What the fuck?

I… can’t remember where we are. I feel like it’s not quite rural, but… Where’s the closest city?

What’s our town’s name eve-

I’m suddenly beset by a sudden, painful headache. What the hell am I even doing, thinking about this right now? There’s a bunch of juvenile suspects standing in front of me who are going to scatter the second I show any weakness.

“Look, it isn’t fair to monopolise the only station. Everyone listens to it, so I’m not letting you do this. And I don’t even believe that’s the only thing you’re doing. Why don’t you give that ‘mixtape’ of yours here and I’ll-”

Before I can even finish, the oomukade shoves the cassette into her mouth and swallows it whole before looking at me with a smug expression.

The jittery moth who had been the first to talk to me gets a little closer and flutters her wings. “P-please, officer, it’s just kind of… w-well, it’s kind of embarrassing, and, um…”

“Wait, then why were you trying to get it on the radi-?” I push past the girl to see behind her, finding the rest of the insect girls had scattered and were far past the point I’d be able to catch any of them.

The moth looks at me, teary-eyed. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t want to, b-but…”

I sigh. “Go home, kid. I can see you’re just being used like a stooge.”

I’m pretty surprised that the station manager doesn’t want to press charges and just called them ‘mischievous children having their fun.’

None of my business, I suppose, but at least I don’t have to go out of my way to find the gamer kids now. I checked my watch, fuck, it’s just past noon. What am I gonna do for the rest of the day?

1. Check out what’s going on with my roommate. What the hell was that last night?

2. Stake out the crack house with Vanessa.

3. Do some independent research on Alexa Jonesy. Just what can I expect if I ever meet her?

4. Scan the dispatch radio for another thing to do. Who knows what’s going on in… this town.

>>369416

5. try and remember where we are, what state we're in, and how much Motrimis needed to muscle past the headache.

if not that then choice 1. also give vanessa her sex, but make it anal as punishment for all the trouble she gives you.

>>369652

this

>>369652

I meant to say "Motrim is", motrim being ibuprofen