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/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

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You are the healing.

File: e9e38bf1d7eb15d⋯.png (841.83 KB,800x1000,4:5,chenwhyareyouevenalive.png)

 No.15735

I've felt an all consuming attachment to a video game character since I was around 12, I see surreal outlines of her blended together from the thousands of images I've seen of her over the years when i close my eyes sometimes and in hypnagogic states. When I think I see her somewhere she doesn't belong I feel anxiety that persists after I realize it's not her. I have semi-recently begun to seek out the worst most degrading depictions of her I can, I've spent 10+ hours at a time on booru sites looking at her combined with all the worst most filthy paraphillias I can imagine in tandem. There is a twitter bot that posts images of her and I feel a sort of voyeuristic manic thrill/abject despondence looking at the people who follow and and like its tweets and how disgusting they are, the idea of her being sexual in any way brings me emotional distress and sadness, It's a strange form of emotional self harm.

Is it possible any of this is a result of brain damage? When I initially became innocently infatuated with her I developed a response of punching myself in the head repeatedly for periods lasting up to 15 minutes when I imagined or saw her being defiled in some way, As it's gone on I have increasing facial twitching

and periods of mental absence with nausea, along with almost no short or long term memory now (I sometimes slip into quasi-psychosis and do all of the above with increased furvor without sleeping or eating that last for three or so days).

____________________________
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 No.15742

I get depressed when people treat non-living objects like real people. It's the very epitome of golden calf syndrome.

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 No.15748

>>15742

theres a pinned thread dedicated to "regenerative medicine" and a thread explaining the op's urge to butcher young girls on the front page and yet you prioritize accusing me of idolatry. the religious fabric of this board was shot long before i ever came along friend

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 No.15749

Is waifuism a mental illness?

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 No.15776

>>15749

it is a sexual orientation (❍ᴥ❍Ʋ)

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 No.15783

>I've felt an all consuming attachment to a video game character since I was around 12

Do you mind sharing which one?

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 No.15790

File: 755e521ea2a535c⋯.jpg (699.27 KB,900x864,25:24,chenaffection.jpg)

>>15783

The character depicted in the topic picture is my devotion, i'm glad to share but I didn't want to over-disclose in the original post.

is it relevant?

am i being haunted?

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 No.15791

>>15776

So yes?

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 No.15821

File: 4501df034f3bea4⋯.jpg (192.22 KB,850x1512,425:756,sample_fcca0c975eb75f15b11….jpg)

>>15790

You mean like this?

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 No.15834

>>15821

What was your intent in posting this at me?

The eroticism is in a way painful to me as I imagine you suspected. But, her eyes also look strangely alluring in that picture.

Yes, I mean like that.

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 No.15837

File: ecad3e01e30e20d⋯.gif (1005.13 KB,220x260,11:13,xavier_shrug.gif)

>>15834

>What was your intent in posting this at me?

You gave me a free opportunity to cause you distress, so I acted on it. I would have continued if you had given me a good reaction. But you didn't.

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 No.15847

>>15837

I feel like I wish I had exaggerated my response to play into you wanting to harm me, I guess you can tell it'd be out of "masochism" (I dont derive pleasure from any of what I've done). You did succeed in making me upset more than I let in on in my post.

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 No.15849

12:09:54 No.15735

Hello,

I'm having trouble configuring a reasonably short response to your post. My initial reaction was to instruct you to seek counseling, but I suspect that the degree of your self-harm would result in an unnecessary involuntary institutionalization. Therefore, the best I can do is to explain the underpinnings of your actions. First, as the brilliant novelist John Steinbeck stated, "The worst disease experienced by Western man is a childhood devoid of parental love." As a trained clinician and a victim of a childhood "devoid of parental love," I call this phenomenon the behavioral passage of trauma from one generation to next. In simple terms, it's the unconscious, compulsive, repetition of child abuse. In your case, you defended against your childhood pain, when you discovered an idealized character who fulfilled a mixture of unfulfilled childhood needs and your necessary defense mechanisms. As for the downward spiral of your emotional stability, your naive belief that using this open forum as the means of remediation proves the existence of your unconscious embedded trauma and your compulsion to resolve this past childhood trauma in the present. While your attempt at resolution is a normal, but misdirected human function, you could not have chosen a worse venue to remediate your pain.

Since, this is the worst possible venue for any substantive discussion of emotional suffering, I offer my counsel to guide you to a protected online group with people suffering from similar emotional conflicts. If you are interested, please leave your anonymous email address, and I will forward you the url address.

By the way, you are not psychotic, unlike the above psychopath who attempted to increase your pain, you are a feeling human being in search of love, adventure, friendship, and good times. In any event, no matter your decision, I wish you the best.

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 No.15850

12:09:54 No.15735

Hello,

I'm having trouble configuring a reasonably short response to your post. My initial reaction was to instruct you to seek counseling, but I suspect that the degree of your self-harm would result in an unnecessary involuntary institutionalization. Therefore, the best I can do is to explain the underpinnings of your actions. First, as the brilliant novelist John Steinbeck stated, "The worst disease experienced by Western man is a childhood devoid of parental love." As a trained clinician and a victim of a childhood "devoid of parental love," I call this phenomenon the behavioral passage of trauma from one generation to next. In simple terms, it's the unconscious, compulsive, repetition of child abuse. In your case, you defended against your childhood pain, when you discovered an idealized character who fulfilled a mixture of unfulfilled childhood needs and your necessary defense mechanisms. As for the downward spiral of your emotional stability, your naive belief that using this open forum as the means of remediation proves the existence of your unconscious embedded trauma and your compulsion to resolve this past childhood trauma in the present. While your attempt at resolution is a normal, but misdirected human function, you could not have chosen a worse venue to remediate your pain.

Since, this is the worst possible venue for any substantive discussion of emotional suffering, I offer my counsel to guide you to a protected online group with people suffering from similar emotional conflicts. If you are interested, please leave your anonymous email address, and I will forward you the url address.

By the way, unlike the above psychopath who attempted to increase your pain, you are neither psychotic nor brain damaged. You are a feeling human being in search of love, adventure, friendship, and good times. In any event, no matter your decision, I wish you the best.

JAH

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 No.15856

>>15850

That's a long well composed response, I dont disagree with anything you said.

I am having difficulties articulating further thoughts than that, I am interested in that online group and how the pains of the people in it relate to mine. You can reach me at adornoswimsuit@gmail.com if you're still interested.

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 No.15858

>>15847

Well fuck my ass, now I also wish I had called your bluff.

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