/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

>>15681

Diagnosis is generalised anxiety and depression so I'm your run of the mill mental case. But I feel like theres more

Excuse the poor grammar and rambling, I'm higher than a motherfucker and thats the only way I have confidence to type this

To start with I feel like I have a committee in my head constantly telling me everything possible at once about a situation.

I tend to see situations in a different way from my peers for example I'm finally on the benefit and my friends and family see that as a success where I saw it as them trying to kill me by holding my application from me.

I could be just sitting there mindlessly watching an interesting youtube video when my world is turned upside down and everything is dark and I only see the rope as being the only way out.

I'm sure I'll think of more

I never had a hard upbringing (Didn't starve or go from paycheck to paycheck) but my Dad had anger issues and would constantly yell at me. I would say my school life had your usual high school problems like I had trouble completing homework and constantly battled with teachers

Things didn't go wrong until a few years ago when my Dad went in for a normal checkup when they found a mass in his head and upon further inspection it was a tumour and if he went any longer he would die so they operated and Dad died a few times and had to be revived. This apparently caused issues and instead of being a basic op turned him into a serious stroke like patient. Right around this time I was just about to travel to another country by myself for the first time and I really battled with staying by my Dad or leave and I chose to leave. That was a mistake and I had to spend hundreds just to fly back.

Because of the stress and pressure of Dad, I dropped out of school and work because I was unable to keep up and could barely keep my head above the water and that was 3 Years ago.

Since then I have been in and out of work with the longest period being now and thats a year.

I started smoking weed New Years last year to quieten down the voices and give me a breathe of fresh air (hah) It started with 1g a week to an oz a week. I know its bad for depression and anxitey but I don't know how else to survive because if I didn't have that break then I would most certainly be dead.

I have a girlfriend of 2 years and the best group of friends I could ask for but I feel like they all hate me and haven't yeeted me yet because they wouldn't know how to deal with it.

>>15682

First you need to start meditating regularly. The deep breathing will calm your sympathetic nervous system, reducing your anxiety. this will Also teach you to clear your mind. you can use brain entrainment recordings to assist you. Sometimes meditation exacerbates depression because when your mind clears sometimes deeper emotional imprints will surface that you will have to contend with. I assume that you received your share of vaccines and antibiotics which can cause autoimmune disorders, especially when combined with stress. follow the general prescriptions in the regenerative medicine thread as best you can. I also suggest fish oil krill oil nascent Iodine and coconut oil/medium chain triglycerides, as well as some probiotics. avoid any more pharmaceuticals as they tend to also damage your gut microbiota. The cannabis definitely has its uses but it is not good to be reliant on it because it disrupts your endocrine system when used too often and disrupts REM sleep in most people. I would say that you have a moderate case of complex PTSD which is increasingly common in first world countries due to the factory model school systems and general incompetence of parents when it comes to raising children. you may not have had a hard upbringing financially but you had to live with an unconsciously abusive father that was constantly aggressive towards you and the constant oversight of a fundamentally flawed school system filled with narcissists and nutcases which you could not practically escape from. Were there any complications with your birth? were you circumcised? These can also leave unconscious emotional imprints even if you cannot recall the events.

https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-zazen/

>>15689

Thats a bit to take in. I'm going to try make as many changes as I can but ramp myself into it.

I'm up to date with all vaccines because I'm asthmatic and get shamed quite badly if I say no.

I have a few other major events such as multiple car crashes and I'm no longer talking to a sibling(I'm the youngest of 3) that have intensified PTSD symptoms. I keep my girlfriend up at night sometimes with nightmares most nights but she would rather I sleep near her so she knows I'm ok. No complications at birth and I'm uncircumcised.

I have been interested in meditation for a while but every time I try to blank things out I hear ringing in my ears. It has been there all my life and it was only in my teens that I found out it was tinnitus.

>>15690

I quit getting vaccinated about 3 years ago and I am much healthier now I used to have asthma as well but it was also due tot he metal toxicity induced by the vaccines and I no longer have it. The chronic tinnitus is one of many symptoms of vaccine damage. The regenerative treatment should help it in time. Ginko biloba is supposed to help with tinnitus as well. avoid caffeine and excessive salt intake. In the mean time you can still practice meditation because the purpose is to clear inner dialogue and noise. The tinnitus is a sensory stimuli. You might be able to concentrate on the tinnitus like white noise.

Lucid dream therapy is a good way to deal with nightmares and it works well with meditation. https://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/lucid-dreaming-in-the-treatment-of-post-traumatic-stress-disorder.html

Btw the drastic spike in cancer cases is due largely to viral DNA in many vaccines it can also be caused by chronic exposure to the microwave radiation of cell phones and routers. combined with inflammation these factors are likely the cause of your fathers tumor. The trick to treating most cancers is simply empowering your bodies immune system to do what it is already capable of doing. Vitamin-c, colloidal silver. and the alpha/beta glucans from various mushrooms can supercharge the immune system. https://www.ivforlife.com/product/h-c-c-maximum-strength-750-mg-capsule-60-capsules/

I read some more studies and found more on the link between vaccine damage and asthma. If you want to clear it up faster you need to take serrapeptase and Vitamin D. Turmeric will also help calm you down. I would say that the aluminum toxicity is a greater influence on your condition than the past traumas. Also if you can't bring yourself to ignore the tinnitus there is still the option of brain entertainment recordings for meditation. http://vaccinepapers.org/vitamin-d-immune-activation-autism/

>>15696

If you think they betrayed you, why would you hurt yourself? That doesn't make sense.

>>15697

God damn you're a dumb cunt. Mental health doesn't pick and chose who it affects and how it affects them. It doesn't matter to me whether people think my justification is good or not because to me its not worth living over.

>>15698

Prior to this my friends meant everything to me. I would drop anything for them and every action I took was to further our friendship.

I was constantly depositing into their emotional bank account whilst they were constantly drawing from mine. Sieg Kyle

>>15700

You describe your friends as parasites. Often the people we surround ourselves with are a reflection of our inner world. If you are no longer valued by them and they have been using you consciously or unconsciously then it is time to part with them. You sound like you need a new batch of friends that will actually be able to support you in a mutualistic relationship. You don't need to kill yourself to feel better you just have to learn to let go of them and embrace a new healthier life. This may be easier for me to say because I don't really develop emotional bonds with people but I do have experience living around negative personalities. They suck the life out of you. The further you distance yourself from such people the better you will feel. Go find a hobby group and branch out into a new social network. Also quit driving like a dunce before you run over some kid.

>>15689

>PTSD

Yeah just like Melody Hensley right? Are you a shrink?

>>15703

I have some academic training in psychology However my knowledge has mostly been developed out of personal necessity. I am not a therapist however I excel at holistic systems analysis and can apply this in the context of treating mental disorders. Seeing as you have failed to make the distinction between PTSD and Complex PTSD I would say that I am at least better versed in the field of psychology than you. If you're looking for a professional opinion then I suggest seeking council from your local pill pusher. Or you could just do what I do and read the pertinent literature and synthesize your own opinions like a real human bean.

>>15689

>>15682

>>15700

To clarify Did the symptoms specifically begin after your fathers illness or did the symptoms simply get worse? Also what is the general content of your dreams? Are there any recurring trends that you can Identify?