hi /mental/
i figured this is the best place to post this, i have in recent times been having more trouble with school especially since starting year 11 and year 12 and having to do more assignments/homework tasks & handing them in on time.
ive never really done homework consistently before, when i was in primary school i did barely any of the set tasks but it was fine mostly because they weren't super strict about it and all i would usually do is sit out a few lunches doing work
when i started high school we got less homework but had one big test or project to do every term, which was a lot better because there was no weekly grind and i could usually finish the projects during class. as for tests i have always been very good at tests so having a test was always nice.
occasionally i would have a teacher where they expect me to show them every piece of work that you were supposed to do in class which i never had. i remember quite a few times when i spent hours kept back after school to finish work, and also many times when i would be sitting at home doing homework tasks for the teachers who threatened to fail me, and it felt almost physically painful to complete them, like an ache in my bones and in my chest.
anyway, i got by and things were going reasonably well until last year where the 'important' part of high school started, there was a lot more work given and i feel like i started disconnecting more and more from school. as always, i didnt do my homework and my grades have started dropping in every subject except chemistry (which i really like), i know that i could be getting very high marks in my classes but i have no motivation to do the work and even if i do, depending on the task, it takes me such a significant amount of time that i feel i would be spending anywhere between 3-4 hours daily to finish all the assigned work.
sometimes i think im just a perfectionist but then i look at what i produce and its shit.
this year, theres a new system for who they decide gets to pass, and the criteria is that you have to complete a set of 'hurdle' tasks to pass the class, and the test/assignment only counts to measure the grade you get. this is worrying me because i know im not good at this kind of thing and i do not want to fail.
i was really hoping this year to get a good ATAR (tertiary admission rank) (i think the equivalent is SATs in the US) somewhere around the 95 range, but trying to do the classwork for subjects that i dont find particularly interesting just makes me want to give up. its not that i dont understand it, just that i cant bring myself to care about something so boring.
anyway, enough whining, what do you guys think? just lack of discipline? or an official real life genuine case of ADHD? and most importantly how do i go about solving it?
of course i have more symptoms than just what i have posted, but at the moment what i posted is the thing most troubling me, if anyone cares i can elaborate more.
>pic related me vs homework lmao