No.13701
Post about embarrassing things your mental illness makes you do.
I compulsively pick at my face. Look closely at your pores: do you see some white stuff slightly poking out? That's called sebum, and boy is it satisfying to force it out of your skin. As we speak I have a big bleeding hole on my left cheek because I tore off too much skin. I still feel like squeezing that spot because some part of me thinks there might be even more sebum or cystic fluid hiding inside. It's gonna take at least a week to heal, and during that time I'll be too ashamed to show myself outside.
____________________________
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No.13702
I'm pretty sure I actually developed some cysts on my face thanks to repeatedly tearing my skin off.
I look like a fucking meth head.
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No.13703
i was doing the same as OP but now im not a teenager any more already and i have not acne but my face is full of empty little vulcanos
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No.13708
>That's called sebum, and boy is it satisfying to force it out of your skin.
YES
But do tell, how is that related to your illness? I always thought it was a bad habit like ripping off lips, and beside what is your illness?
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No.13709
>>13701
Spot bandaids and/or makeup can cover that in the meantime.
I pick too, but at my lips and the insides of my cheeks. Once I get going, the urge is strong enough that I usually don't stop, even around other people, until my lips feel smooth and like there's nothing left to pick at. If I start bleeding I just keep going. I try to only use my fingernails because using my teeth (not exclusively) for 10+ years has worn flat spots on them, which is one of the few things about myself that I'm ashamed of.
The thing is, though, I can stop. I stopped for a week a few years ago. It made me realize that this isn't a compulsion in the sense of feeling like I'm doing it against my will, it's something I actually *want* to do. I think I'm addicted to the endorphins from the pain + the feeling of having raw spots in my mouth, which makes sensations a lot more intense, which ties into a powerful oral fixation that I don't know the origins of.
The lips pic is the worst I ever look afterwards. The teeth pic is me, showing the flat spots where my teeth line up. I'm aware that my teeth suck in general.
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No.13714
>>13708
Since it's something that's caused me considerable grief and embarrassment but I find myself unable to stop, I think it would count as a mental illness or an addiction. Not sure what exactly it would be called. It's unrelated to the other things I've been diagnosed with as far as I know.
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No.13725
nearly exploding at what i'm told is banter, i constantly feel like everything is conspiring against me
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No.13727
Me too OP..I just used my extractor tool to get some sebum out and period-induced acne popped. I feel gross because my face was healing, almost to the point where i didn't need concealer. My back is also healing but it is my worst area.
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No.13747
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No.13749
>>13747
That's just part of the human condition.
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No.13781
trichotillomania
compulsive writing
irrational relationships
scab pulling
drug abuse
post on /mental/
cry
pray for quick death
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No.13786
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No.13794
-Picking up cigarettes off the ground,
-Going through ashtrays
-Stealing
-One time i snuck into a building's attic and slept there for a day i was to scared of leaving and getting locked out so i pissed on a pile of rags on the next floor of the attic.
-Snorting nutmeg
-Smoking blanks(poppers without weed and puking everywhere)
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No.13795
Lip picking recently escalated to using tweezers. I feel like I crossed some kind of line.
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No.13806
>>13701
>Post about embarrassing things your mental illness makes you do.
Lick faces and skin like yours. No. Seriously. I constantly have to keep my mouth active, whether its chewing the inside of my mouth, biting my tongue, grinding my teeth or sucking on 9 volt batteries. I can't help it. :(
Plus you are adorbz.
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No.13815
Makes me seriously paranoid about my name/identity appearing on the internet. I've even ditched anonymous accounts that had no ties to my real name because they were google-able and had a history of their own… I have to do it again soon. I'll be trying a new method of obtaining a username that is a simple keyword with no numbers or symbols attached to it, so that when it's googled you couldn't possibly find me among the millions of other results.
Picture related. A word like 'convulsion' might be a good username.
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No.13816
>>13815
I figured this out ten years ago. Always use generic names. I like names from professional athletes because who Googles that name is just going to get the athlete and not me.
Unique = traceable.
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No.13821
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No.13822
>>13816
Yeah, I regret trying to give myself a unique username back in the day. Thought I was gonna make a name for myself making games or whatever, instead all I did was give myself an embarrassing post history for others to dig through if they want dirt on me. At least now I try to use common/short names.
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No.13905
>>13701
it's ok, i used to do the same
then teenhood was over and my acne went away
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No.13906
>>13709
i thought i was the only person in the world who did that
i've never been able to stop no matter how i tried, i automatically start doing it when i'm thinking about something else
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No.14101
I stim, so I look like a fucking retard when listening to music.
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No.14423
I wouldn't be such a fat piece of shit if it wasn't for my ADHD.
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No.14444
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No.14449
>>14444
It's probably something else. I don't know man. I've seen other guys with ADHD and they're athletic, I'm probably fucked due to growing up with a single mother and always being critical of myself when doing anything.
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No.14450
>>14423
>>14449
Great, now I'm thinking I might have made these posts on a different device and forgotten about it. are you me?
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No.14451
>>14450
I think? Now this post is fucking with me.
Did I make this post? This derealization is that bad.
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No.14467
>>14451
Nah you clarified it (I didn't have access to a computer when you made this post). That spermed me though, it looks like we're just ridiculously similar, at least based on those two posts.
>ADHD
>fat
>single mother
>self critical
Please don't tell me you also have problems relating to people and often come off as condescending according to them.
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No.14468
>>14467
>sp00ked filters to spermed
BO what the fuck.
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No.14470
>>14467
Make my name fiddleford and shove a banjo up my ass, you're right! I come off as very snarky and condescending to others apparently. I don't mean to, it's how I come off, I've had a few coworkers feel attacked (insulted) during some discussions.
I don't mean it of course, but regardless, it happens.
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No.14471
>>14470
Good to know I'm not the only person that's exactly the way I am somewhere out there. I wish I could communicate with thoughts so that I would be able to tell people exactly what I mean instead of everything being up to interpretation of what I mean by the statements I make.
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No.15070
>>14467
>>14467
>Please don't tell me you also have problems relating to people and often come off as condescending according to them.
>single father
>ADHD
Anon I'm scared…
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No.15075
>>15070
It usually happens when children don't develop right as well, neurological pathways in brain close and you are unable to function. Same happens with trauma iirc.
It's okay anon, I'm here.
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No.15079
>>15075
Well I did watch my dad almost die, spousal abuse, dysfunctional family situations, informal divorce and verbal abuse as well as bullying. Maybe this is qhat helped contributed me to being like this.
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No.15080
>>15079
>>15075
Also apparently us three arent the special snowflakes we thought we were, I think the difference between me and you two anons is Im thin.
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No.15083
>>15080
*four
>>15079
Yeah, I went through similar things. I made a thread on it, a lot of my paranoia and daily struggles, derealizations, breakdowns, mood swings, violent thoughts, irritability, general pessimism and intense emotions mimicked bipolarity, but it was actually PTSD. I've already mended the rest of my issues by myself, and behavioral therapy can only do so much before you resort to meds, since I'm only taking meds for the things I CAN'T control, I resorted to 25mg of Zoloft instead of a whopping 200mg like others. I'm good at helping myself heal and cope, and music has been a big part of that.
You have to realize that medicine isn't always going to fix everything, there are things you have to tackle head on, for the best or worst, and it may take years for you to recover. I've done to a lot of self actualization and acceptance of things I can't change, I feel more neutral than unstable now, not even numb, the medicine was the last thing I wanted to take, because I wanted to fix as many issues I had control over as possible.
I still have a hard time focusing, which is where my innatentive ADHD comes from. Fatigue still gets me as well, so some low dose stims would do me fine.
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No.15088
I stim, I rock back and forth. It's a compulsion, I can't stop. On more than one occassion I've had people approach me asking what I was doing or telling me to stop, like wtf get lost this isn't about you lol. There's a large black bruise on my back, I can't stop so it's not going away any time soon. I keep breaking my fucking folding chairs because of this, I have a rounded one now so I hope it won't break.Also have to have this special padding beneath my chair so it won't make any marks on the floor.
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No.15090
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No.15095
I smoke a lot of tobacco.
I also tend to space out and get absorbed in my thoughts/delusions.
It's been that way for about 20 years. I had more control over the tobacco for 5 of them.
I'm 24 and I have seen some shit
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No.15101
I have had an issue with compulsively picking my hair out for around 5 years now, and I have a bald spot in my hairline because of it. Not only this, but I also have a strange thing going on with my speech. It's normal, but I unconsciously re-speak or mouth the words I just said. I wouldn't know about this if not for my sis and gf pointing it out. Mentally I'm ok, I think, I'm paranoid, but ok. Can anyone help me identify what is going on?
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No.15102
>>15101
Sounds a hell of a lot like OCD.
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No.15103
Sometimes when I think about what I'd say in a situation I end up saying the results out loud.
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No.15106
>>15102
Are there any home treatments available, or should I actually see a doc?
Thanks
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No.15111
>>15106
You need to see a shrink, unfortunately. OCD is pretty hard to control.
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No.15116
>>15111
o-okay anon, thanks
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No.15128
>>13701
looks like mogellons or government harassing
http://www.dataasylum.com
read into fasting and prayer
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No.15129
>>15128
who is a mogellon?
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No.15141
>>15101
>I also have a strange thing going on with my speech. It's normal, but I unconsciously re-speak or mouth the words I just said
Could be palilalia
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No.15142
>>15129
Sounds like a pokemon
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