/mde/ - MILLION DOLLAR EXTREME

Dear Sam, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance

I ain’t mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t answer fans

If you didn’t want to talk to me outside your house

You didn’t have to

But you coulda signed and autograph for Matthew

We waited in the blisterin’ cold

For you, for four hours, and you just said no

That’s pretty shitty, man, you’re like his fuckin’ idol

He wants to be just like you, man, he likes you more than I do

I ain’t that mad, though I just don’t like being lied to

Remember we met in Rhode Island?

You said if I’d write you, you would write back

See, I’m just like you in a way: I never knew my father neither

He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you’re sayin’ in your videos

So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put ‘em on

‘Cause I don’t really got shit else

So that shit helps when I’m depressed

I even got a tattoo of your name across my chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See, everything you say is real, and I respect you ‘cause you tell it

My girlfriends jealous ‘cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don’t know you like I know you, Slim, no one does

She don’t know what it was like for people like us growin’ up

You gotta call me, man

I’ll be the biggest fan you’’ ever lose, sincerely yours, Stan

P.S.: We should be together too

Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Call-or-Write-My-Fans

This'll be the last post I ever send your ass

It's been three months, and still no word—I don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two emails

I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my 8chan post I'm sendin' you, I hope you read it

I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway

Hey, Sam, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?

You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"

About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drownin'

But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?

That's kinda how this is: you coulda rescued me from drownin'

Now it's too late, I'm on a thousand downers now—I'm drowsy

And all I wanted was a lousy email or a call

I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall

I loved you, Sam, we coulda been together—think about it!

You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream I hope you can't sleep

And you scream about it; I hope your conscience eats at you

And you can't breathe without me

See, Sam—this bitch in my trunk won't shutup

Hey, Sam, my fat girlfriend is crying and screaming in the back of my raptor

But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you

‘Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now

Oh, shit, I forgot—how am I supposed to get this to you if mods ban me!