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Excelsior!

Sister site: [Fan-fiction]

File: 1449852654267.jpg (12.06 KB,331x505,331:505,ShitShitShit.jpg)

 No.7887 [Last50 Posts]

Anna Karenina.

This is easily the worst book that I've ever read. After reading a A Hero of Our Time, I was quite certain that Russian literature would be amazing. And while the books I've read have had their ups and downs, this is by far the worst of them all.

The characters are bland and uninteresting. There is virtually no development, and most importantly, there is no major protagonist to follow. This would work well, if it were executed in a matter such that there were multiple perspectives. But instead, we simply spread it all out thin. Levin might have been alright if he wasn't a complete idiot. Anna might have been alright if she wasn't a emotional wreck. But no, they're both what they are, and neither are interesting to follow.

This novel is considered a fucking masterpiece, and yet even a book about a beetle eating through a tree would be less boring than this piece of shit. Worst of all, unlike most other shit novels which have the courtesy to be short, this book drags on and on, sucking away time and energy.

Tolstoy hated fucking trains, but you know what? I love them now. Because a train is what ended this fucking novel. That train is the real, unsung hero of this story. It's a shame he only shows up a few times.

What novels have pissed you off? Double bonus points if they're considered "masterpieces" by fools.

____________________________
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 No.7890

>>7887

Finnegan's Wake. Complete Gibberish. Couldn't get more than a few pages.

Great Expectations, however, holds the cake, though. Well-written but boring as shit. Nothing remarkable happens throughout the majority of I read 150 pages, I believe.

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 No.7893

File: 1449856693616.jpg (37.16 KB,295x443,295:443,noise.jpg)

find a merit protip you can't

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 No.7955

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 No.7957

>>7887

Rim, by Alexander Besher (I think that was his name). This was one of the few books that was so much crap I've put it aside, and I've suffered through the entirety of Atlas Shrugged.

The protagonist is a bland, trite piece of shit that's admired by everyone for no reason, all of the women in the story only exist to tell him how big his cock is and I barely even remember his son. That's as much as I can recall about the characters; the only others I remember are a robot that got its head blown off and a pair of "dyke bitches" [sic] that had sex, and both had no impact on the story.

As for the setting, I have yet to find out why the hell Neo Tokyo is called as such. It's not because it phases out of existence, because it was called Neo Tokyo prior to that. Furthermore, the mix between oriental spiritualism and cyberpunk simply does not work. How do you even get the idea to mix these two? Probably by being a stupid shit who wants to put everything he thinks is cool into a single story. It's what I did when I was sixteen.

Then there's the "humor" of the book. The protagonist says "hello" to the mirror and the mirror answers "olleh". That's the joke. I rest my case.

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 No.7958

The Turner Diaries. It includes some interesting passages, but all in all, the book is shit. The "good guys" are overly powerful, and the author has a seriously messed up moral compass. I'm not just talking about him being a white supremacist, but about him seeing it as awwright to execute people you think may be innocent to make a point.

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 No.7959

File: 1449986754623.jpg (132.36 KB,656x690,328:345,whit.JPG)

My choice: Walt Whitman's entire poetic output.

"By the manly love of comrades."

Barf.

>>7887

Wow, I don't know how you didn't see the crazy aesthetic interrelations in AK. I think that book is a literal masterpiece for those reasons. I mean, look at the Vronksy horse-race section. Beautiful symbolic synecdoche in that part alone. Won't go into detail defending Tolstoy, but jeez pal.

>>7890

Punnigans Wake is certainly a sad outcome for the Joyce that wrote Ulysses.

Dickens aged really poorly, I'll give you that.

>>7893

The novel equivalent of a brutalist cement parking garage. Take that as you will.

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 No.7963

>>7958

to me it's not that the reason the book sucks.

matter of fact i thought it started pretty good.

what really i don't like about the book, beside the fact that it's pretty boring an badly written, is the fact that it reviles "the system" for things nazis did, with no doubt about it, yet it holds them as the pinnacle of political thought.

that's what i hate about SJWs too, the thought they seem to have that some things are OK when YOU are doing them. because YOU are on the right side of history, and the year is very much current.

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 No.7978

File: 1450049259709.gif (2.17 MB,286x210,143:105,uh uh.gif)

>>7890

Finnegans Wake shouldn't even be given the benefit of being considered literature. Period. Most psuedointellectual, incomprehensible trash I've ever had the displeasure to sit through.

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 No.7986

>>7978

You sat through that, i.e., read all of it? I feel sorry for you. I could barely get through a couple of paragraphs, and this was with a text with a shit ton of footnotes explicating the bloody thing.

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 No.7991

>>7978

that's because it trascends the good/bad dichotomy.

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 No.8009

I assume all of you have good enough taste to realize "The Alchemist" is garbage, but can you explain why so many plebs think it's great?

Are people that starved for profundity?

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 No.8022

>>8009

the alchemist is made to attract a very specific but large slice of market.

it's basically a self-help book disguised as a novel, full of deep sounding truism and wishful thinking. prime bait for certain kinds of people.

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 No.8058

>>7887

>even a book about a beetle eating through a tree would be less boring than this piece of shit

You might like Kafka, then.

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 No.8059

Why all the hate for Finnegans Wake ITT? It's unconventional (maybe even impossible) but I don't see how anyone could deny that it's a masterpiece.

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 No.8063

>>7890

>finnegans wake

I had to write an analysis of that piece of crap.

Read the whole book, wrote an analysis with over 90 citations, and the bitch gave me a 60% mark.

I should get 200% for just holding it in my hand.

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 No.8064

>>8063

Elaborate, anon, what was your teacher like?

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 No.8090

>>8064

Short pink/red hair.

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 No.8091

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 No.8156

David Copperfield

I dropped it at Chapter I. I Am Born, in which the narrator describes the day of his birth as though he remembers it.

http://www.bartleby.com/307/1.html

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 No.8172

>>8156

>as I have been informed and believe

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 No.8179

As a pleb, I always thought it taboo to dislike works regarded as literary classics. I'm not sure where I got the idea from, as if these works are above the opinions of others or something, but it was opinions that got them there in the first place.

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 No.8185

>>8179

if you can motivate your displasure, your opinions do count.

and if you have some to share, i'd be glad to hear them.

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 No.8198

>>8179

>As a pleb, I always thought it taboo to dislike works regarded as literary classics.

One of my law professors once said that if we can't understand a passage in a textbook, no matter how often we read it, then chances are the textbook is at fault, not us. It's the most uplifting things he's ever said, and the guy was always, constantly smiling. I think this is applicable to literature, too; if you simply can't like a work, then that might be because it's got nothing to offer you, or - more rarely, but it happens - it simply isn't good.

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 No.8205

File: 1451487146803.png (91.41 KB,616x203,88:29,sarahmichellegellaronart.PNG)

>>8198

fool. if you don't understand something, it must be art!

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 No.8206

I agree with Anna Karenina, most tedious book I've ever read, although admittedly I was reading the Maudes' translation.

Can't understand all the Finnegans Wake and Dickens hate ITT, both are masterful.

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 No.8609

>>7887

Yikes how old are you?

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 No.8621

>>8205

I love art that I don't understand. It makes everything more unpredictable and chaotic, and it feels more natural, since the world itself is far beyond understanding. I don't care if it's shitty, but if I don't understand the reasoning behind a song, film, book, etc., then it attracts me much more than when I understand it perfectly well.

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 No.8623

>>8621

More often, if something doesn't make sense it's because the author didn't care about understanding it himself.

Can someone post the screencap of Todd Howard admitting he used the quantum psychics from Watchmen?

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 No.8624

>>8623

Not necessarily. I enjoy listening to Southeast Asian classical music because I don't understand anything about the theory of it, and therefore it doesn't make much sense to me. That isn't because it truly doesn't make sense, but it's just due to my own ignorance. Regardless, the unusual and unpredictable progressions are what I really like about it.

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 No.8625

>>8623

>>8624

Also, when reading Shakespeare, there are often monologues that I can't follow because of how much is said using an abnormal syntax. It surely made clear sense to people back when it was written, but I can't understand it nearly as well with my modern concept of the language.

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 No.8638

>>8624

>>8625

Then you enjoy understanding things.

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 No.8642

>>8638

How did you infer that from what I wrote?

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 No.8645

>>8642

The text of Shakespeare is easy to understand, compared to its meaning. Likewise, Asian classical music is as understandable as other music, if you're persistent.

What would have hinted that you don't want to understand things would have been liking Levine (who I mixed up with Howard) or taking an interest in randomness and chaos theory.

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 No.8648

>>8645

Randomness is boring, though. I enjoy not understanding things that actually have a method behind them, but one that is obscure to me.

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 No.8651

>>7893

One of the funniest books I've read

The real bore and generally piece of garbage is "Underworld". White baby-boomer liberalism, of which New York city specialized in for so long, is utterly dead.

>>7887

completely missed the book.

look at Anna and adultry and then look at "pornography". That is "progress".

>>7890

James Joyce: mostly a pretentious literati. Finnegans Wake was written specifically for a now bygone bourgeoisie, and as such it is a piece of garbage.

>>7890

Dickens: a boring social reformist and English dolt.

>>7959

Whitman: a now obsolete Yankee dunce and muddleheaded philosophaster.

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 No.8653

>>7887

As I've already posted about, I'm glad the Book of Merlin was never published. It's a piece of shit.

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 No.8659

>>8651

>White Noise

>funny

bullshit

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 No.8799

File: 1456424558500.jpg (70.17 KB,261x400,261:400,image.jpg)

Low hanging fruit but this book is unbelievably boring

A Hispanic feeling separated from his culture joins his ghetto cousin for a small amount of time where it turns out he's a really good pitcher. Rather than doing anything with that, the book rambles on with everyone crying about their family. One of the few books I couldn't finish. Would've never picked it up if it wasn't for a class

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 No.8802

File: 1456428013961.jpg (377.37 KB,1000x1251,1000:1251,Crimson_Slaughter_Chaos_Ma….jpg)

>>8799

Welcome to the world of young adult literature, a world more bleak and depressing than the grimdark future of the 41th millenium, a future in which the Death Korps of Krieg are the good guys, but at least they have a sense of identity and a family that loves them, or so I heard.

You'd think novels for teenagers would have something resembling educational value, but nope. My educated guess is they're written for teachers, not teens. In fact, I can't recall a single teenager who ever named one of these books as his favorites.

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 No.8803

>>8802

>41th

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 No.8806

>>8803

yea, the forty oneth millennium, whats wrong with that?

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 No.8808

>>8806

That isn't a correct way of saying it.

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 No.8810

>>8806

I think he means it's the 41st millenium. No one gives a fuck, but still.

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 No.8872

The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon

I've read the first 30 pages only, took me like 3 tries to get there, because a voice screamed in my head "PUT THIS PILE OF GARBAGE DOWN!"

The first 30 pages were literally like this:

>I am simply the best there is.

>I can beat anyone

>but I did a big mistke because of love

>now I will tell you my story

Ghosts, futuristic technology, some strange voyage of the senses, with no explanation at all. Characters speak of other characters who are not present in a way that the reader has no idea who the hell those are.

The main girl - of course it has to be a girl - has 0 backstory, she is immediatly the greatest in the city in this voyage thing, and she works for "the bad people", and she will probably join a revolution against them, á lá Insurdiverfaithfulgent

Not recommending to anyone over age of 13

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 No.8881

>>8808

i should have put an : ^ ) to indicate sarcasm

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 No.8937

File: 1457151419119.png (142.83 KB,253x392,253:392,The_goldfinch_by_donna_tar….png)

The most putrid and insulting book I've ever read.

It's just pretty much a young-adult novel trying to pass as "mature literature" by adding drugs and cursing. It's atrocious.

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 No.8989

>>8937

LOL

The whole Jamowitz/McInerney/Ellis era was like that. I blame Judy Blume.

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 No.8995

>>8872

>The Bone Season

>not about the adventures of a resurrected skellingkton

What a shame

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 No.9002

this series.

it's really just porn. only less honest about it than 50 shades, which i haven't read but i've seen how it was publicized.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQM0avkWqGI

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 No.9008

>>9002

Which series?

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 No.9046

You have pleb taste, fam. Go back to Dan Brown if you can't handle Tolstoy.

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 No.11480

>>7887

Please end your life, but before you end your life, read Vladimir Nabokov's lecture on the book, so that your rational nature justly and spontaneously wills to end your life.

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 No.11482

>>11480

simply eric

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 No.11483

>>9046

Or Dostoyevsky.

Whichever.

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 No.11515

A Tale of Two Cities

I could not stay awake and read that crap

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 No.11517

>>8648

You are literally saying you enjoy learning/experiencing something new. That isn't "enjoying something you don't understand". You are slowly understanding it as you enjoy it. That is why you enjoy it.

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 No.11523

>>7890

I read Great Expectations my freshman year of high school. Everyone hated it, but then we watched the 40s movie version, which was actually really good!

>>8009

We also read The Alchemist that year too. I actually enjoyed it then, it was like training for analyzing real books and movies. Also, not a shitty book, but definitely overrated was Catcher in the Rye. Everyone had always said how it spoke to them as a teenager, but my friends and I just saw it as some angsty kid rambling on about why everything is "phony".

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 No.11961

Catcher in the Rye was the most boring book I've ever read, and I didn't really get the appeal of it being a classic, I thought it was just a crap monologue of an angsty teen.

Johnny Got His Gun wasn't really shitty in the sense of being boring, but rather the un-use of punctuation in the book made it an extremely hard read (it took me 3 days to get past page 20), but it's plot also didn't cover how he got injured, all it was a brief explanation and nothing else.

Firestarter was just another boring read for me, and I think it's one of King's worse books, but I don't read horror exclusively.

Stranger in a Strange World went down the weird path that made me stop reading it towards the end.

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 No.11965

>>11961

>>11523

Anyone else find it odd how he treated his sister? He always treated as if she were his equal. I kept getting and incestuous vibe from Holden lel, I didn't even think I would have remembered the faggot's name.

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 No.11966

>>11961

>[Stephen] King

Well what did you expect

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 No.11968

>>11966

in my defense, it was the first Stephen King Novel I've read, and at that time I was branching out of sci-fi and reading other fiction genres.

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 No.11969

File: 4bf22aad388722d⋯.jpg (99.66 KB,252x865,252:865,Prescott_heinlein-1.jpg)

File: d738e1840d425ae⋯.jpg (128.86 KB,398x864,199:432,Prescott_heinlein-2.jpg)

>>11961

>Stranger in a Strange World went down the weird path that made me stop reading it towards the end.

Heinlein really went in a completely different direction than I thought he would. At the beginning of the book I was pretty interested, but then it just turns into Mike assembling a harem and then some weird free love cult. Funny that he wrote the book before the 60's free love movement took off, since he kind of predicted it in a sense, though not the strange religious take that he has on it in the book. It's not really worth finishing but I finished it anyway. At least the scene at the very end where Mike gets lynched is entertaining. Also, why was the Mahmoud's nickname Stinky? Was that some weird nickname that was common in the 50's or was it just a joke about muslims?

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 No.11981

>>7887

>The characters are bland and uninteresting

>Levin might have been alright if he wasn't a complete idiot

>Anna might have been alright if she wasn't a emotional wreck

OP hates real people

>Tolstoy hated fucking trains, but you know what? I love them now. Because a train is what ended this fucking novel. That train is the real, unsung hero of this story. It's a shame he only shows up a few times.

Train cuts a man in two

Train is the hero

Oooooookay, OP, whatever you say, psychopath

>>11480

>read Vladimir Nabokov's lecture on the book

Fucking fascinating!

A bloody enjoyable read thus far. thx

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 No.11989

>>8802

That woul explain a lot.

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 No.12004

>>11989

*would

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 No.12054

File: c26d03efe2e8ff7⋯.jpg (72.57 KB,600x866,300:433,FlowersForAlgernon.jpg)

Hated it. I just felt like the whole thing was pretentious, especially in how the author pretended to write like a retard. Then when the character gets some intelligence, he doesn't do much beside fuck the women around him and find out he is becoming a retard again. Honestly, the book seemed like 9t was written primarily to be wanked over by "intellectuals" and get awards.

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 No.12055

>>12054

>pretended

That was the part that the editor didn't touch.

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 No.12056

>>12055

CHECKED AND REKT.

>>12054

Never read it, my freshman class watched the movie, and I couldn't get over the fact that he was once retarded, and that he would inevitably be a retard again. Futile.

Why was this book hailed as something great; was it to make you think differently about the misfortunately mentally deficient?

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 No.12057

>>12055

Kek

>>12056

Pretty much, and it used cheap emotional shit to make/force you to think that way. The retard is supposed to be nice and caring and loving, awwww you can see where this is going. Also makes it easy to defend the book, how dare someone criticize the character and author when he is a poor retarded man?

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 No.12070

Probably American Gods or Snow Crash.

I felt like both were overrated as fuck considering the amount of praise I saw for them which led me to read them.

>American Gods

Just didn't like it. None of the characters were really likable at all.

>Snow Crash

>muh sumerian words are like code for human actions

>muh indian can make glass weapons so sharp on a molecular level it can cut through anything

>muh katana edgelord protagonist

so god damn dumb.

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 No.12079

Everything by Ernest Hemingway.

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 No.13384

File: 71ef088fb282297⋯.jpg (100.74 KB,1024x904,128:113,1475079864580.jpg)

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 No.13395

File: 4e0388b56240436⋯.png (259.34 KB,307x475,307:475,ClipboardImage.png)

>>8802

>Welcome to the world of young adult literature, a world more bleak and depressing

Immediately made me think of this which was assigned reading in highschool. I never though about it until reading this post, but now I think this book is the literary equivalent of child snuff pornography.

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 No.13401

File: 8830bd938c5a99a⋯.png (571.7 KB,600x580,30:29,2ec.png)

>this fucking thread

how does 8chins lit board manage to sound like r/books more than cuckchans lit is beyond my comprehension

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 No.13402

>>7887

Try The Death of Ivan Ilych and other short stories, specifically Family Happiness, Master and Man, and Hadji Murad, by Tolstoy.

Or just go straight over to Dostoyevsky (Notes from Underground, The Brothers Karamazov).

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 No.13403

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 No.13404

>>13401

Got a lot of experience with r/books do you?

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 No.13429

>>12054

I also disliked this book, but as most books written in the first person are total trash, this relatively is above average and worth studying.

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 No.13433

>>7991

well meme'd my friend

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 No.13452

>>13404

>r/books

Literally what?

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 No.13453

>>12054

Flowers for Algernon was one of my favorite books as a kid. I found it very emotionally immersive.

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 No.13499

Émile Zola is shit. All of his work is.

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 No.13851

>>7887

>The characters are bland and uninteresting. There is virtually no development, and most importantly, there is no major protagonist to follow. This would work well, if it were executed in a matter such that there were multiple perspectives. But instead, we simply spread it all out thin. Levin might have been alright if he wasn't a complete idiot. Anna might have been alright if she wasn't a emotional wreck. But no, they're both what they are, and neither are interesting to follow.

Then it would have no point whatsoever. TBH, it does need some context.

>>8206

>Can't understand all the Finnegans Wake and Dickens hate ITT, both are masterful.

Yes, but also with requirements.

Silmarillion is not for everyone, and The Gilded Age is not for everyone, and so on.

Even pacing is YMMV - if it's not what you enjoy, you'll drop the book, and quality of writing won't help. I liked The Pickwick Papers, but a lot of people probably will drop it just because of soap opera pacing, no matter how witty it is.

And readers used to Hobbit at best and "Die Hard On Chamberpot - The Outhouse Saga book XXIII" grade pulp at worst may have troubles getting through a book written for contemplative reading at leisure and/or branching arcs all the time.

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 No.13864

>>11480

Funny you mention Nabokov.

Pale Fire was a chore to read, utter trash.

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 No.13891

pretty much anything by Bertrand Russel or neo-Frankfurtian types. absolute garbage.

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 No.13892

>>13384

late blooming homosexual

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 No.13930

>>12054

man fuck u lol, i loved that book when i read it.

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