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 No.5497>>5503 >>5550 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]

>friend wants to write book

>sends first draft

>has the writing skills of a third grader

jesus christ

 No.5498

I feel this same thing when I reread my notes after a week.


 No.5499>>5507

>first draft


 No.5503

>>5497 (OP)

I learnt a long time ago not to be too harsh about friends' writing. Even if I think it's a steaming pile of shit, I'll be nice, point out what's good (even if I have to make something up) and then provide suggestions for improvement.

Most of them still get pissed when I do that though because apparently I'm acting superior.

So now either they don't come to me, or I fucking just say "yeah that's pretty good man" and move on to the rest of my life.


 No.5504

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Repeat after me:

"My goal is to destroy your work, to identify your weaknesses and shove your face in them. Professional authors pay people good money to do this - keep that in mind. If you just want me to simply read it then give me your final draft and nothing else."

If you insist on acting out of kindness what you need to do is identify one mistake your writer friend keeps making. Insist they fix that and see what happens.

If he insists on being a bozo then don't spend more than five minutes on his stuff and drop whatever variation of "yeah, nice," you can come up with and move on.

We could really use your critiquing skills here more than he wants your ego stroking.


 No.5507>>5519 >>6859 >>9953 >>9975

>>5499

This. You have to remember first drafts are garbage by design. My debut novel took me seven years to write. I started it, couldn't complete the first draft. Started it again seven months later, completed the first draft, finished it, didn't even have to reread it to know it was garbage. Scrapped it all and rewrote it from scratch again, same in principle but altered more. The next year, the same thing, on and on, and now it's coming out November 2nd, and I feel in my heart it is truly great.

Remember, OP, that the greatest works often start as trash. But with dedication and hard work, great things can happen, can be learned from the process of repeated failure. What your friend has to do is suck at first, progressively not suck, and be as critical of all of it as possible while still believing in himself.


 No.5513>>5514 >>5518 >>5519 >>6947 >>8882 >>10455 >>12443

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>everyone telling me to not be harsh

too late. i feel like a dick for sending him this. i told him to read a long book so he could get used to knowing how sentences are supposed to be structured, and how to use proper grammar & punctuation

hopefully i can get the rest of his work submitted to my college's writing lab so that they can review and catch the mistakes that I make after having corrected his

right now i'm going to submit to him a joke of a short story and fuck with his characters


 No.5514>>7716 >>8882 >>8941 >>8952

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>>5513

other image that i sent to him. i guess this board doesn't allow for double image posting


 No.5518>>5536

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>>5513

What kind of story did he want to write?


 No.5519>>5531 >>5536

>>5513

I disagree with your fourth comma, between "songs" and "while". His second sentence is a train wreck. "No sooner had [past participle]", if I remember right, should be followed by "than", and even if that were corrected, the sentence would still sound weird, at least to me, in that [specific] correlative construction. Although quotes don't require their own paragraph, don't they need some indentation. Yeah, for example, in Guermantes' Way by Proust (Moncrieff translation, p. 227):

"[space] 'But, my dear boy, there's nothing more to say than what you've just said.'

[space] 'What a bore you are. Then tell her about Françoise in the Champs-Elysées. She'll enjoy that.' "

>>5507

What's the book called, if you're willing to divulge that information?


 No.5531>>7727

>>5519

Just wait for November, I'll post it here when it comes out. /lit/ might like it.


 No.5536

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>>5518

JUST from the looks of it, it is about an alien abduction

>>5519

what you suggested sounds a lot more correct. english is my second language and i have never written anything and have only read one book outside of school


 No.5550

>>5497 (OP)

You don't have to be mean and call him an idiot; after all, you aren't much better.


 No.6842>>6948 >>12443

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JUST got off the phone with him and he says that the publishers loved it. It has to go through another screening and then he'll have it published. I'm not sure that this means that he will get it published, but it looks like it.


 No.6859

>>5507

man, I couldn't re-write it over and over, what I do is read it back and change things bit by bit, take out a paragraph, put one in, add some more description and shit.


 No.6947

>>5513

You just don't get his Joycean experimentalism.


 No.6948>>8982

>>6842

>inb4 vanity press


 No.6958

>friend wants to write book

>sends second draft that another friend has already looked over

>it's shit and still riddled with grammatical errors

I am surrounded by fools


 No.7716>>7717

>>5514

Alright, I'm just going to point out that critiquing his shit is one thing. Same with being harsh with your critique, because some people need a fire lit under their ass. In this case, though, you're actively comparing his work to yours which makes you look like a snobby prick.

It wouldn't be that big of a deal if it didn't competely discredit everything you said -at least in his mind- to try to help him improve, thus making the actual glance-over completely pointless. If he thinks you're not trying to actually help him improve, he won't listen.


 No.7717

>>7716

Wow, oops. Should have checked the dates on this. I'll admit that that's my bad.


 No.7727

>>5531

it's november


 No.7740

> this whole thread

Top fucking kek


 No.8882>>9953 >>12443

>>5513

>>5514

Gotta necrobump this threat to tell this faggot what a dick he is.

So, here's the thing: Just because you're criticizing someone doesn't suddenly mean you can insult them. Be as harsh as necessary, but not an ounce harsher. Compare the following:

>Peggy, you are fat and I'm ashamed of being seen with you in public.

>Peggy, you are a fat fucking elephant and whenever I'm seen with you in public, I want to commit suicide. Also, here's some funny, related image macro.

The first is a harsh truth, but it's still just the truth. The second is being a complete asshole. Notice the difference?

Now, as for the advice itself, it really isn't brilliant. Pointing out that a sentence is missing a subject? Anyone could do that. It certainly doesn't warrant jerking off, like you did.


 No.8941>>8982 >>10455

>>5514

I'm so annoyed at "Was it to be trampled". The syntax is just so fucking bad. The way it reads out loud is comparable to getting anally fingered at night by your older brother, without consent.

Also, if this shit ass story can get published the the book I finish this year is gonna be the next War and Peace.


 No.8952

>>5514

>Dylan was […]

>He takes […]

Stick to one tense nigga, this shit don't fly


 No.8982

>>8941

>>6948

> These faggots think a book needs to be good to be published.

Most of the books from even the big publishers are trash.


 No.9953

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 No.9975

>>5507

post the novel anon


 No.10455

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>>5513

first of all, OP, you are a massive cunt. you're supposed to give constructive criticism. what is constructive about calling him a retard?

with that out of the way, i am completely baffled by what i'm looking at. is it really structured this way, or did you copy and paste something?

"dylan stated to himself"? what the fucking fuck did he state? or did he just state? is that possible? can i merely "state to myself" without actually saying anything?

>>8941

>published = good

>mfw


 No.12443>>12444

>>5513

>No sooner had the first leaf fallen THAN it was [to be] trampled by a[n] [either: early] morning [bi]cyclist up at dawn.

Remove 'up at dawn' if brackets aren't implemented, leave all outside them otherwise/aforementioned optional if so.

He might have more luck writing Film Scripts, with those jumps in tense. Show him how to structure one and tell him to use that as the framework for the thing he wants to write.

>couple blocks later; nature preserve; shaded oak

Image-desert comes first. Everything following "arrive", whatever decided on, should not lead with the measurement phrase.

>He takes a sharp right at Herdklotz Park, where he would arrive under a tall shady oak tree at the Nature Preserve a couple blocks down.

No one cares or remembers the the orientation of Dylan between Old Rutherford Road in Autumn, and the destination; all the phenomenological essentials of that experience of travel from start to finish is front-loaded within the paragraph -- the final sentence should take the same form, especially with the trivial distances involved (unless this is a detective/spy novel and it's somehow circumstantial evidence for the reader, in which case fuck Dylan and his music, and his hair, and every tree between Rutherford and Herdklotz)

>shady oaktree

Does it rob Dylan? Is it an African oak?

>>6842

>JUST got off the phone with him and he says that the publishers loved it.

So it's a children's book after all

>>8882

>Peggy your weight is beginning to seriously concern me, and I must insist you take active measures to improve your health; we can start by having vigorous sexual congress starting right this very second (*aggressive insemination intensifies*)


 No.12444>>12445

>>12443

*bracket option edit, remove 'at'

>an early morning bicyclist at dawn


 No.12445

>>12444

*remove 'up', rather. whoops




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