/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness★

Well let´s see…

For the first one to reply I have got to say…

You left me stumped for a moment there, you are really a part of the go home club are you not? hahaha

It might not be the best advice you can get but here is a little option you probably have missed…

How about stop considering doing things as hobbies? and maybe start doing them as scheduled challenges?

Here is what I mean…

Nothing makes someone insta-likable apart from money than fame…

In this day and age where we seem to be reverting back to a Victorian standard of work appreciation it is definitely important that someone makes "hobbies" or "crafts" and becomes famous based on that or even if not famous, recognized and admired by people who either do the same or love whatever it is or on what it´s based (the craft)…

Based on what you said you are that amazing kind of people who can try anything maybe not do it for a long time but definitely can do it which in my humble opinion is the kind of person who the world needs and therefore be a waste if went to sleep early…

So here is your challenge of every "hobby" you mentioned you make 1 thing you can actually show off in the internet and do so…

Then let the admirers and followers come! even if your work can be rejected by some there is going to be for sure some people who will appreciate it and amidst all that people someone who won´t need you to use all your words but understands you… a true friend…

So please please I beg of you don´t leave just show the world why it should admire you!

About the second replier…

Mate I have to tell you…

You are getting it all wrong…

You see… You want to improve your social life yet you are considering that being an introvert is a barrier that is the mistake…

I can not say much about you but I assume you have at least 1 social group in which you are but do not belong (ex. school, work, gym,…) in that social group at least I bet you have 1 "contact" who has a bigger social circle than you so my advice is to hang on to that person and become "part" of the group even if you are just an observer…

You see you have an amazing power you are an introvert!

Contrary to popular belief introverts in fact speak but only when they have to and have something to say so by default the few words you speak are worth much more than the words of others who never shut up!

So…

When an introvert becomes part of group but instead of being passive-agressive or submissive is just reserved but kind the group starts to embrace him or her as the "common sense" of the group being different to everyone else and trust me that is a role we introverts play very well…

So summarizing here is my advice:

Become through one person of the group an observer and kind of "outside party" to that group…

It is vital you do not act submissive or to passive-agrssive to the members, that you act kind but reserved makind it clear that you are not "being cold" or "being a snob" but rather that you are a good person who is just more observant and reserved…

I have to add…

Doing this can be hard and will put you in many situations out of your comfort zone, but as long as you establish your limits very well you will find out that this experiences are not so bad after all and you might end up finding out one new thing to love!

I hope this advice works for you because it worked very well for me…

Hang in there and know whatever happens even if we don´t know each other you have a friend here!

>>29487

You know, that's a really interesting way of looking at things, best advice I've heard in over a year

A small problem with that is the angle you're taking. You say that I should post my work and gain some sort of following. Well, that's not what I want. As I said, I want to have close friends, not admirers. Having a fanbase seems tiring. I'd rather do something for myself, and it's difficult to force yourself to do something when you find no enjoyment in doing it.

thanks for your help, though, and any more advice is appreciated.

I see…

So that is the problem?

Well you certainly have understood and modified the angle so probably you already know the next step…

Don´t do it for others star doing small proyects of the things that you like (ex. the games you like)

If possible try to do something that you under normal circumstances would consider "ridiculous" under a specific amount of time…

Then when you start doing this challenges you can start taking other challenges combining said "hobbies" with "mainstream" activities like going to gatherings and conventions…

Surely one person will appreciate what you like or love in the same manner allowing you to obtain a friend!

And please don´t take this the wrong way but sometimes a little introduction can go a long way…

If you really are a few words person I´m sure people you talk with will understand if you explain it to them, furthermore that way you will be able to determine who is worth being your friend!

>>29492

Thanks for all the help, dude. You're actually pretty good at this.

I have another small problem, though, vaguely related.

I've been in a very cuddly mood for the past few days and there's no one for me to cuddle with. What do?

I have a few problems but nothing I can't handle probably

-still want to end my own life a bit (I won't tho, people aparently would be upset)

-need to practice art and things (trying to learn coding, cyber security, and a language or two) regularly but I'm forgetful and incompetent

-Can't find a job

-can't hold a job

-need a job and an apartment before this summer or I have to live in my parents house again which makes me feel terrible and not want to do anything

-dislike my family a bit, and want to be left alone, but I don't want to be rude (they're nice people, but idk they're not really my cup of tea and they can be annoying)

I procrastinate a lot but I do things when I feel I really need to (I'm not really good at much but I can work hard)

but idk what I should do I need a job to afford an apartment in things so I can keep a reasonable distance from people I know (close enough to be home from the holidays but far enough that I never have to see or talk to them unless I want to), but I've never been good at finding jobs. Since I've been away from home the past couple of months I've taken better care of myself, gotten more done, been cooking and cleaning regularly, etc. so I'm good where I am but I'm only here with the program and internship I'm doing for around a month and a half so I need to find a job and a cheap apartment before then.

About first replier well it certainly is difficult to get you the chance to cuddle in a romantic fashion on such short notice but start by taking my last advice and develop some bonds reflecting your desire I am sure there is at least one person who feels the same way and you should look for him/her

About third replier

Let's see…

I was in a similar situation (except the family part) not long ago and somehow overcame it so here is a small "tutorial"…

1st Do plan with anticipation What do I mean with this? Well you are still not in direct need of living which is good so start looking everywhere where you can get a place to live

2nd Reduce secondary expenses If you want to save money eating only rice for a while can keep you alive and well and it's really cheap

3rd get two " low key" jobs instead of one by doing this you will spend most if the day out of home wich will cut up you exprnses a lot and keep you mentally and physically invested so you don't drop it while you save money

4th Freelance With whatever spare time you have use your abilities to earn some extra money

5th Places like cities are super expensive to live so try to look for places around the suburbs where not many people live This will allow you to find cheaper rents

6th Turistic places are always a good option because they often need people to work and the peripheries tend to be really cheap to live this is specially usefull if like me you live in a not english speaking country where your multilingual skills are required

Why not.

After i dropped out of college i took some courses in cooking and i got a job at it. My first job, to be precise.

I've never been a very active person; I go by doing the bare minimum most of the time. I never had something to identify myself with, like a trade, or a group of friends or something like that. I was glad that i was leaving NEETdom behind and that now i could do something meaningful with my life.

I've always been a loner, avoiding social situations, but inexplicably i like to help others. As expected, more than once i have been taken advantage of, but i can't help but "throw myself" to help carrying stuff, to do the job with someone to make their share lighter and that, helping to make the kitchen a better place with my actions.

That kind of behaviour put me on a good light in front of my coworkers. They talked to me and tried to include me in their conversations, but i never did my part at it, and just kept myself apart. Nevertheless i eventually tried to reach out after some time; Things were changing and maybe i could give myself the chance i let go when i was in high school.

In a matter of two months i could really appreciate how socially inept i am. How despite being in my mid twenties i still behave like a thirteen year-old boy. And i kept it all bottled, avoiding it.

Worrying too much for others when i should have not; pretending to be able to understand and counsel others out of good will despite not having experience in the everyday, normal life; feeling jealousy, envy and rancor for petty things when i never did it when i was younger; having that unrequited love for the first time for a coworker which was already divorced and with kids despite being a couple of years older than me; feeling anxious and insecure to the point of considering suicide, seeing how my scarse hobbies clashed with the drinking and partying most of them were used to…

I felt exhausted after dealing with the fact that i've done nothing meaningful with my life. I was ashamed with myself in a way because i was doing things just for the sake of changing; i didn't know who i was. I decided to resign before i let all that take more of me; before i started drinking or taking advantage of others and such.

I know that now i should take this time to look out for those things i can identify myself with: A sport, another trade… things that i can do to grow as a better person and handle the adult world with its recklessness and selfishness.

But now i want your opinion. What would have you done in my place? Did i do wrong in leaving behind a job i loved just because i hesitated? Would it have been better if i just let myself go to please others, just to experience the "happiness" a normal person can have, drinking away the sadness and having kids early?

Thank you for your attention.