/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness★

I tried 4mg nicotine, but nothing happens

>>28679

>I assume you have tried partially re-wiring your brain via the conventional means?

Aren't drugs the conventional means?

>That is, by using techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy, practicing mindfulness, and writing down your thoughts?

Haven't. And I don't think that will work for me. Placebo, religions, meditations don't work on me.

>tianeptine - but it also raises mood, I don't want that.

>Why not? Sounds like you could use some happiness.

I do not like happiness, at least not drug-induced one. I like sad, miserable. But I need ability to do tasks that are important for me, now unable. Can only instant gratification.

>>28677 (OP)

Cardio.

>>28682

what? you meant exercise? it only makes me more fatigued

>>28687

What about yoga?

I come from oddly similar position. Even the unhealthy food thing. With the exception I'm probably not deep enough into mental/financial crisis to try risky nootropics (I'm only 23)

I think l-theanine is the only thing on your list that doesn't have sketchy risks related to health. It isn't a scam, but it has subtle effects. After drinking 2 cups of high quality white tea or yerba mate I become very alert, calm and focused. It's always there, even though I drink it almost every day, and I see no negative effects. It's like caffeine but more meditative

Some other stuff that won't fuck you up is curcumin. The one in shops often has a lot of useless shit added, so you'd have to research and find the right stuff.

>>28687

>>28682

What does it mean when people talk about cardio or physical exercise in topics like this? Studies also confirm this, but what is going to change as far as my perception is concerned? What is the feeling I'm looking for? Because I've been trying HIIT and lifting and I didn't see any differences. In fact, I even used to work physical job in factory for half a year. I didn't see changes in perception back then. In my teenagehood I would help my father with stuff like cutting trees for hours and I didn't see difference back then either…

>>28694

Is the change in mental state after exercise somewhat similar to the feeling after taking cold shower? Because 20 minutes after cold showers I feel pumped up, and after exercise perhaps too, except it's more subtle. And quickly fades away. Is this it?

>>28692

>What about yoga?

yoga is placebo, it "works" but only for people that are mystical-type of person

>>28693

>I think l-theanine is the only thing on your list that doesn't have sketchy risks related to health. It isn't a scam, but it has subtle effects.

subtle? so maybe I won't try it, I need strong effects.

>After drinking 2 cups of high quality white tea or yerba mate I become very alert, calm and focused. It's always there, even though I drink it almost every day, and I see no negative effects. It's like caffeine but more meditative

I tried teas (white green black) and yerba mates, but I barely feel anything even at higher doses.

>Some other stuff that won't fuck you up is curcumin. The one in shops often has a lot of useless shit added, so you'd have to research and find the right stuff.

Wikipedia doesn't say about curcumin psychoactive effects. Maybe it's healthy but I don't see how it can turn me into monster

>Some other stuff that won't fuck you up

I don't care, can fuck me up, I have no choice, I get strong drug that works or I'm done…

>>28694

they believe in exercise and they promote their religion

>>28696

Yoga is not placebo, it's exercise but also relaxing.

>>28696

I used to spend months reading on nootropics and supplements and approached it with your attitude. I found this website more useful than wikipedia:

https://examine.com/supplements/curcumin/

also https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/

After months of intensive researching I realized that my nootropic/health craze falls into patterns that are typical for people with certain personality/personality disorder. There are a lot of people like me and you who are onto their "quest" to find "solution" to their problems: fatigue/low ambitions/procrastination/adhd/lack of purpose in life/mental fog/depressed energy.

I tracked stories of people like us who delved into nootropics and found out that… tragically, no one solved their problems this way. If you look at people like us, with these patterns of looking for nootropics or experimenting with no-fap, and you'll look at us in the big picture, you'll see it's our religion. It's a way for us to cope. I eat food with "prayer" that it will heal me, and it gives me purpose, (except I don't call it prayer). I hope that makes sense.

L-thenine and curcumin have effects that can be compared to coffee. They're very subtle. Anything stronger than that will build tolerance in 1-2 months and/or you'll "pay" for it by period of even worse mental fog/depression. Some people get even affected for life.

Right now I'm trying the route where I pay extreme attention to the synergy between foods I eat eg. make sure not to eat antagonistic types of food together, avoid sugar and processed foods, pay attention to sleep, exercise, cold showers.

I don't see any difference after a few months but I "pray" there will be. I'll try it for some time, and if it doesn't work, I'll kill quietly myself. But at least I will go out with the conscience that I tried with all my might.

The thing that worries and depressed me the most is that I feel I'm the only one for whom things like exercise or no-fap DON'T FUCKING WORK! I went for half a year without fapping and I just had erotic wet dreams, that's all. When it comes to lifting it's the same. I feel like people who lift have some kind of fetish for athletic thought in their nature/nurture and so they get high off the idea of getting fit. It's religion for them, but not for me. I wish I knew what is my religion. How come I don't get "high" off anything productive eg. research, math, sex, relationships etc. like all normal people. Is this the Internet and memes that fucked up pathways in my brain? Is this because I was brought up by parents who are somewhat withdrawn loners?

>>28713

>few months*

Actually it has been 10 months. I just add and subtract things and I write down experiences in my journal. I refered to short period of few months because I have in mind the most recent period since I changed something in diet

>>28699

exercise is placebo

>>28700

>Things like cognitive behavioral therapy are not placebos or meditations, though.

>If you continuously steer your thoughts in a certain direction, you actively "re-wire" the brain by strengthening connections and associations.

But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

>Today I need to work on a task that is important to me.

>I am afraid of mental and physical fatigue from effort. But I know that this fear is not well-founded. I know that the fatigue will not kill me, and I know that it is temporary.

But my fear is well-founded. When I do some tasks (physical or mental) I am then exhausted for days or weeks.

I am even afraid to do things like potato peeling because I know I will just lose energy that I could use in better way.

>Mindfulness means constantly reminding yourself of these things when you are in the moment.

Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

>When you feel like you cannot continue because you are not getting instant gratification, try to make yourself aware of the present. Then make a conscious decision to continue.

I am unable to make conscious decisions. I do not choose tasks I do. The tasks choose what to do with me. I need a drug that allows you to choose tasks that you do.

>>28713

>I found this website more useful

Actually I did visit those websites before too, when I did a list of stuff to try. But they often overrate the benefits.

>I tracked stories of people like us who delved into nootropics and found out that… tragically, no one solved their problems this way.

Yep, and if it "works" on somebody, it's the people who don't really needed anything anyway.

>L-thenine and curcumin have effects that can be compared to coffee. They're very subtle. Anything stronger than that will build tolerance in 1-2 months and/or you'll "pay" for it by period of even worse mental fog/depression. Some people get even affected for life.

I will risk. And tolerance is not that big problem, as I don't need to be better 24/7. I would gain much even if I could use magic substance one day a week.

The subtle substances doesn't work on me, I tried some of them, like tea coffee yerba mate. I need strong stuff.

>I don't see any difference after a few months but I "pray" there will be. I'll try it for some time, and if it doesn't work, I'll kill quietly myself. But at least I will go out with the conscience that I tried with all my might.

Why won't you try some strong dangerous stuff, like amphetamines or other stuff?

Also, quietly killing yourself not great, would recommend to make payment to humans, for bad stuff they did.

>The thing that worries and depressed me the most is that I feel I'm the only one for whom things like exercise or no-fap DON'T FUCKING WORK! I went for half a year without fapping and I just had erotic wet dreams, that's all. When it comes to lifting it's the same. I feel like people who lift have some kind of fetish for athletic thought in their nature/nurture and so they get high off the idea of getting fit. It's religion for them, but not for me.

Yes, it's just placebo, religion. That's why it "works" for them. And also, those people don't really have problems and they don't really need a fix, they just whine that they only did 5 important things a day but they wanted to do 6…

>I wish I knew what is my religion. How come I don't get "high" off anything productive eg. research, math, sex, relationships etc. like all normal people. Is this the Internet and memes that fucked up pathways in my brain? Is this because I was brought up by parents who are somewhat withdrawn loners?

But do you really want those "productive" things? I don't, I only need "important" tasks because THEY and THEIR world forces me to. For example, if you don't work, they take food from you, and make you hungry and suffering. They treat us like slaves. I'll make them pay for what they did.

>>28719

>But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

Why wouldn't you want to be "fixed" when even something as simple as potato peeling is exhausting for you? Improving yourself and becoming a better person does not mean losing yourself.

There are no magic drugs, all of them come with side-effects that are at least as bad as their benefit is good.

>Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

You haven't tried, you admitted that already.

>>28719

>exercise is placebo

You think so, do you?

Would you like to prove it?

I challenge you: 20 minutes HARD cardio (and by that I mean you being huffy and puffy for the full 20 minutes [warmups and cooldowns don't count: the timer begins when you start sucking wind], you can barely speak aloud 3-4 words before you have to take another breath, and when you get home its difficult to peel off your sweat-soaked shirt), every single day for one month. No skipping, no excuses ("wah my legs hurt" -> you get used to it; "wah I don't have the time" -> you're here long enough to type up your big ass replies, you have plenty of time; "this won't help" -> I know it will, so do it to prove me wrong), get out there and get it done.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/cardio/

http://scoobysworkshop.com/2010/08/14/importance-of-cardio-cardiovascular-exercise

Get out of here and make something other than excuses for once in your life.

That "something" being you, not that sad sack of fat and social dysfunction that's taken you over and leaving you a worthless waste of space who wants drugs (the pussy way out) to "fix" himself because he's too big a bitch to do hard work.

So throw out that internet-addicted sadsack cunt and get running/cycling/jump-roping, because you can be a sick cunt if you wanna be. Man cannot make himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.

You know what, forget anything I said. After reading more of your whining, you're just another attention whore bitching about your White People Problems. Boo hoo. Why the fuck anyone who sucks that hard would be afraid to "lose themself" is beyond me. If I failed that hard I'd throw myself in the garbage and replace me with something better.

Hope you're having fun with everyone sucking your foreveralone cock, pissing on everyone when they give genuinely helpful advice only for you to shoot it down. I for one am done wasting time on yet another slack-jawed waste of space, on yet another crybaby pussy, on yet another worthless whiny bitch.

As you are, you will never amount to anything.

Sage and thread hidden.

>>28720

>Why wouldn't you want to be "fixed" when even something as simple as potato peeling is exhausting for you? Improving yourself and becoming a better person does not mean losing yourself.

Because my objective is not to be a potato peeler or typical person-robot that just go to work and is worker. While I can't peel potato, I can do other stuff which I do. But sometimes I need down to earth shit like potato peeling or working for money - that's for what I need drugs, so they temporary make me able to do this.

>There are no magic drugs, all of them come with side-effects that are at least as bad as their benefit is good.

Let's see, let's try.

>You haven't tried, you admitted that already.

Yes, I did, in past.

>>28722

hard cardio is dangerous, unhealthy. especially for me.

And stupid exercise only makes me fatigued for week.

>>28723

>You know what, forget anything I said. After reading more of your whining, you're just another attention whore bitching about your White People Problems. Boo hoo. Why the fuck anyone who sucks that hard would be afraid to "lose themself" is beyond me. If I failed that hard I'd throw myself in the garbage and replace me with something better.

Because I only fail at stupid down to earth stuff that stupid world forced me to do. I only want to temporary activate abilities to do that stuff. Normally I want to be as I am now and do tasks I like.

>As you are, you will never amount to anything.

Yes, so I need drugs so they temporary makes me able.

>>28773

The more you delve into the actual research papers, the more you realize what "placebo" actually is. It's easy to get caught in the reddit bubble of college rationalists and believe in what you want to believe. Placebo doesn't mean it isn't real. It is real, because placebo has measurable and enormous impact on reality.

The feeling you get that makes you unable to work is the same feeling you get while pouring freezing water on your body. Your subconscious, animal self is making you suffer so that you stop working/pouring cold water on yourself. The subconscious is just doing its job, and there's no one to blame. Not you, no "other humans" either.

>They treat us like slaves. I'll make them pay for what they did.

But if there was no civilization, you'd have to hunt all day anyway. It could have been worse.

Just go into the bathroom and pour water on the coldest setting on you for at least 4 minutes. If you have no control over your body, your mind goes numb and you escape from the water, then bind yourself with tape or whatever like Odysseus who tied himself to the boat so that he doesn't get mind-controlled by the sirens' song and go into the waters.

>>28796

He doesn't have to go out in wilderness to live on his own. That's the beautiful thing about the modern world. The Internet allows one to make a living from home just fine. Just go to whatever country that has cheap rent yet is relatively safe, so "second world countries" eg. Czech, Poland, if you are adventurous and brave you can risk China. You settle there and can afford very healthy food and roof over your head for very cheap. You make one website or art commission and you live for half a year off that. When you work and live in the West you're wageslaving 3x as you should for the opportunity to go to Lady Gaga concert. To set yourself a freelance income on the Internet is 5 years worth of work. Whether it's drawing, programming, music, or twitch gaming stream, you can set yourself up in 5 years and make a living off anything you enjoy to do. Live the dream, because until the next financial crisis or some happening, we're living in a great and fair time. It's inevitable some happening will take place in our lifetimes, but until then, you're in the best position humans has ever been

>>28794

Yes, placebo works, but only on people prone to it. Im not one of them.

>But if there was no civilization, you'd have to hunt all day anyway. It could have been worse.

Really?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_time#Hunter-gatherer

>Since the 1960s, the consensus among anthropologists, historians, and sociologists has been that early hunter-gatherer societies enjoyed more leisure time than is permitted by capitalist and agrarian societies;[6][7] For instance, one camp of !Kung Bushmen was estimated to work two-and-a-half days per week, at around 6 hours a day.[8] Aggregated comparisons show that on average the working day was less than five hours.[6]

>Subsequent studies in the 1970s examined the Machiguenga of the Upper Amazon and the Kayapo of northern Brazil. These studies expanded the definition of work beyond purely hunting-gathering activities, but the overall average across the hunter-gatherer societies he studied was still below 4.86, while the maximum was below 8 hours.[6] Popular perception is still aligned with the old academic consensus that hunter-gatherers worked far in excess of modern humans' forty-hour week.[7]

>Just go into the bathroom and pour water on the coldest setting on you for at least 4 minutes.

That's not possible. Unable to.

>If you have no control over your body, your mind goes numb and you escape from the water, then bind yourself with tape or whatever like Odysseus who tied himself to the boat so that he doesn't get mind-controlled by the sirens' song and go into the waters.

I do not have control, unable to stay in water, unable to tape myself.

I need drugs to get that control.

>>28796

>If you don't like it, go out into to the wilderness and live on your own. You will die and more successful people will make a movie about it.

There is no wilderness anymore.

>>28801

>The Internet allows one to make a living from home just fine.

Yes if you have executive functions, if you able to do what you want.

>You make one website or art commission and you live for half a year off that. When you work and live in the West you're wageslaving 3x as you should for the opportunity to go to Lady Gaga concert. To set yourself a freelance income on the Internet is 5 years worth of work. Whether it's drawing, programming, music, or twitch gaming stream, you can set yourself up in 5 years and make a living off anything you enjoy to do. Live the dream, because until the next financial crisis or some happening, we're living in a great and fair time. It's inevitable some happening will take place in our lifetimes, but until then, you're in the best position humans has ever been

I have skills and ideas to make profitable websites, software and other stuff. But so what? I am unable to, because I do not have choice over my actions, I can only do instant gratification and easy tasks. I do not have executive functions.

That's why I made this thread and why I need drugs. If I had ability to do tasks I choose and want to, I would already be millionaire.

>>28857

>There is no wilderness anymore.

Yes there is. That's where the person that movie was based on died.

You are wasting your time by returning here, though. Obviously no one is a biochemist and they do not agree with recklessly using substances.

I have skills and ideas to make profitable websites, software and other stuff. But so what? I am unable to, because I do not have choice over my actions, I can only do instant gratification and easy tasks. I do not have executive functions.

That's why I made this thread and why I need drugs. If I had ability to do tasks I choose and want to, I would already be millionaire.

>>28857

>Yes, placebo works, but only on people prone to it. Im not one of them.

Everyone with mental disorders, schizophrenia, mental fatigue etc. are all prone to placebo. The so called chemical unbalance is manifestation of placebo-imposed beliefs about reality and vice versa; placebo-imposed beliefs about reality are manifestation of "chemical unbalance". You have no control because you magicked yourself into believing you have no control, and it made tangible changes on the chemistry of your brain. Yes, your disorder is real, but it's also a placebo at the same time.

Because placebo IS real. All of us are prone to placebo. Placebo is the essential element of reality.

>>28980

>Everyone with mental disorders, schizophrenia, mental fatigue etc. are all prone to placebo.

Then I do not have them. Because I am not prone to placebo.

>You have no control because you magicked yourself into believing you have no control, and it made tangible changes on the chemistry of your brain.

Go tell to person without legs that he magicked himself into not being able to walk, and that he needs placebo to start walking again.

>Because placebo IS real. All of us are prone to placebo. Placebo is the essential element of reality.

Don't judge others by your own

>>28925

>I have skills and ideas to make profitable websites, software and other stuff. But so what? I am unable to, because I do not have choice over my actions, I can only do instant gratification and easy tasks. I do not have executive functions.

>That's why I made this thread and why I need drugs. If I had ability to do tasks I choose and want to, I would already be millionaire.

Any more tipz?

Help!!

Help!!

I'm spamming curcumin with piperine. I think it actually works somewhat. Shit's funny that it's working but my 200$ nootropics don't

any other advice?

>>28681

Op drugs are nice, I understand completely and still want to do many, but you can't rely on them.

>>28681

Are you a smoker? Nicotine should instantly raise your heart rate and is indeed a proved cognitive enhancer. Do it again, be careful tho, it can kill you.

>>29620

they not nice, they don't work. i need working ones

>>29621

smokers = smelly bad people

I use gums. but they don't help me

>>29534

>I'm spamming curcumin with piperine.

How into?