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There's no discharge in the war!

File: 72f3316f7964405⋯.jpg (117.34 KB, 1280x528, 80:33, 13 Assassins (2010) 720p M….jpg)

5ae103  No.609595

Are you a fat fuck who's only able to eat fast food?

Do you debate between Taco Bell or McDonalds every day for Lunch?

Well you fat piece of shit it's time to learn to cook! /k/ style!

The idea of the thread is to have /k/ focused recipes posted. This can be home made MREs, preserving food long term or cooking from ingredients you can find in wilderness survival situations. Healthy, simple meals that aren't full of so many preservatives and junk.

97c594  No.609598

Your hyperactive introduction style pisses me off but good thread idea I guess.


6f2501  No.609600

I can barely cook toast


df1cd7  No.609603

heres one. git you a slow cooker. literally the best powered kitchen appliance you will ever own.

2 cups white beans, navy or similar

2 cups pinto

1 cup red kidney

1 cup black

pour each cup onto a tray, look for small stones. good way to break a tooth. stick all the beans in a bowl, cover with boiled water, leave for a couple hours. 3-4 maybe, i usually do it in the morning and get to it whenever i feel like.

4 sheep shanks or 2 necks, older the sheep the better. maybe oxtails would work.

i use a spice mix thats equal parts toasted and ground cumin and coriander seeds, about 2 teaspoons or so, i dunno, i just chuck it in til it looks right. follow that with some chilli powder if you dont want to use actual chillies. honestly, a generic mexican seasoning would work here.

1 large onion, chopped

2 capsicums or whatever you yanks call em, peppers or some shit. roast em over a fire til theyre black, a gas stove works just fine, stick em in a plastic bag to sweat the skins off. after 20 mins or so, peel the skins off and deseed them, then chop them roughly.

however many chillies you like, dried, fresh, whatever. if fresh, treat them like the capsicums.

drain the beans, and pour em into your crock pot, mix in your spices, chopped capsicum, chillies, and onion. pour about a liter of water or stock in, you want to see the liquid, but you dont want it to be at the top. put your meat on top, maybe an inch below, and leave that bitch over night on low.


df1cd7  No.609606

oh, thats dried beans, as if it wasnt clear. some bacon bits make a nice addition too.


df1cd7  No.609607

ffs, i dont mean the meat an inch below the top, i mean the liquid.


ddaea9  No.609620

Half a kg of noodles

250g-300g cottage cheese

A bottle of sour cream

A teaspoon of cooking oil (optional)

1l water

A small amount of salt

Cook the noodles with the optional teaspoon of cooking oil to prevent the noodles from sticking together. Maybe you want to add salt to the noodles to make it taste better. After you are done cooking the noodles (that is to say, after they are soft enought not to crunch when you taste it) mix the cooked noodles with the cottage cheese, add as much of sour cream as you like and voilá, you got a days worth of túrósgaluska. The whole process shouldn't take more than 10-15 minutes.


df1cd7  No.609638

Time for some mac'n'cheese.

500 grams of macaroni, or roughly a pound i guess, uncooked

1/3rd of a cup of flour

60 grams of butter, i think thats 4 tablespoons

1 liter or one quart of milk, use whole milk you god damned savages, life is too short for that 2% bullshit. roughly, it depends on how the white sauce comes out, how thick you like it, all that jazz.

onion finely chopped

bacon bits or salami, however big you like

cup, cup and a half of grated cheese. whichever cheese you like, pepperjack is the patricians choice

about a cup of bread crumbs, panko crumbs if you have them, a bit of butter, and a small handful of cheese for the topping

Get a pot on with water to boil, big enough for the macaroni. Salt it well. When the water is boiling, dump your macaroni in there and stir immediately so it doesnt stick, probably 20-30 seconds. Once that's cooked, or even a little under, drain it, and put it in a nice big casserole dish.

Fry your onions and bacon bits, set aside once cooked.

Now for the white sauce. This'll be the hardest part, which really isn't saying much. Get a large saucepan out, one that can comfortably hold 1.5, 2 liters and put it on a medium heat. Melt your butter in there, and dump your flour in. Mix well with a spoon, it should be a paste, not a dough, so you may need to add a little more butter in. Continue to stir, making sure you're getting into the corners, until it starts getting a little colour to it. Switch to a whisk at this point, Then slowly start adding in the milk and whisking. Keep adding as it gets thicker, and cook for about 10-15 minutes or so, still whisking. If its still a little thin, don't worry, the cheese will thicken it right up. Remove it from the heat, and stir the cheese, onion, and bacon bits through, and pour over the macaroni. Mix well.

Get the bread crumbs, the extra butter, and the extra cheese, dump it into a food processor, and get it nice and combined, shouldn't take long at all. add some season-all or any kind of spice mix you like. cover the macaroni and white sauce with it, and whack it in the oven at about 170-180C for 45 minutes. ish. cover it with foil for the first 20. I've never had better, but then i rarely have it at all, so take that as you will.

You can also use steamed cauliflower in place of the macaroni, its actually pretty good. Not as good, but its probably healthier.


40a8ad  No.609641

>>609600

Well there's your problem; you don't cook toast, you toast bread.


6f2501  No.609642

File: 1bb7751b50c2881⋯.png (14.55 KB, 447x378, 149:126, 55.png)


31af1d  No.609644

Last time we had this thread, someone brought up Budae-jjigae, or Korean Army Base Stew. Food was scarce during and after the Korean War, and this was a way to get by with whatever you could get your mitts on. As such, it's less of a strict recipe and more of a process.

Recounting the recipe from memory:

>Spices

Fermented red pepper paste (Gochujang)

Fermented soybean paste (Doenjang)

Soy sauce

Sesame seed oil

Anchovy broth OR Worcestershire

>Vegetables: Whatever you can scrounge up

Kimchi (this is mandatory)

Garlic

Peppers

Scallions

Mushrooms

Soybean sprouts (these cook fast, so add just prior to serving)

>The Rest: Anything you can beg, trade for, or steal from G.I. Joe

Hot dogs or sausages

Ground beef

SPAM (this is the big one)

Macaroni or instant noodles

American cheese or mozzarella

>The Procedure:

Get the largest, widest pan you have, preferably a wok. For bonus points, use an M1 helmet

Pile all of the spices, according to taste, in the middle.

Tastefully arrange everything else in the pan. Add or omit ingredients according to availability or taste.

Cover with anchovy broth or water. Put a lid on it, and cook until done. Serve.


31af1d  No.609645

File: d8f8deb4d8521cd⋯.png (179.28 KB, 1115x648, 1115:648, Fuhrer Cake.png)

Also: Fuhrer Cake.


1d18dd  No.609649

>>609600

>put toasted toast on oiled/greased/buttered/firecleaned/froglubed pan

>crack egg over toast

>nigger tier toad in no hole is made

Easy to flip, easy to cook.

Learn you to flip eggs so you can eventually make eggs other than scrambled


d9393f  No.609656

When I'm out camping I love making a quick "stir fry" for dinner.

Canola, Olive, or Avocado Oil

1-2 cups Rice

1 Red or green bell pepper (preferably red due to color)

1/2 White onion

1/4 Head cabbage

2 full carrots (not those baby ones)

Homemade bacon bits

Soy sauce

Ground black pepper

Hot sauce (not required)

I suggest chopping up the pepper, onion, cabbage, and carrots the day before you head out, and placing them in separate plastic bags.

Cutting:

Pepper: Wash off, cut lengthwise in half, make sure to cut out the center of the pepper, and get rid of all the seeds. Then cut each half into strips lengthwise and dice.

Onion: Shuck the onion, and cut in half, dice.

Cabbage: Wash off, chop off the top of the the head (just try to estimate 1/4 by volume), try to cut it into lots of small strips (don't be peculiar about it, just don't want any pieces larger than a pinky)

Carrots: Wash off thoroughly, peel, lay horizontally on cutting board and cut off about 1/2cm from each end (throw these out). Make diagonal cuts at about 60 degrees (longer cut not short)

Put 2-4 cups of water into a pot, and bring it to a boil. Once it starts boiling, turn down the heat, and pour in the rice. Put on a lid and time for 20 min. During this time, you can start cutting up the other ingredients, or just fuck around (assuming you only have one burner). Once 20 min has passed, move the pot off the burner and fluff the rice with a utensil.

Turn up the burner, get out a pan, and put it on the stove. Lightly cover the pan with one of the aforementioned oils so it just barely coats the interior. Put the chopped up carrots in first, as they will take longest to cook. Time for ~3-5 min whatever feels right on spot. Next, get the pepper in there. Time again for ~3-5 min (or when it looks about half-cooked). Then toss in the onion, make sure to stir with a spatula occasionally to prevent the onion from burning; you want it to become slightly caramelized and no more, so time for maybe ~3 min. Then in goes the cabbage, if it doesn't all fit initially, stir it to the bottom of the pan and continue stirring to let it cook down until all (or most) of it gets in. After it looks like it's cooked down to a manageable level (might take 4-5 minutes), pour in some soy sauce (max might be 3 tablespoons, you don't want to add too much or it overpowers the other flavors). Let cook while stirring for another 1-3min, then pull it off the stove, turn off the stove, and sprinkle with 3-4 pinches of ground black pepper which you'll want to stir in. Get out your mess kit, put some rice on/in a plate or bowl and dish up the stir onto it. Add pepper, soy sauce, hot sauce, bacon bits to taste.

If you have any left over dinner, I suggest saving it for the morning, and making junk eggs. If you made the bacon bits from scratch, you can bring the remaining bacon with you to cook up with breakfasts.


bfe8ac  No.609692

File: f302af292bff457⋯.jpg (35.12 KB, 600x505, 120:101, 247893475846872.jpg)

What was that Indian/Mesoamerican ration that would last for decades called, and there was a western Slav on here detailing how to make the perfect jerky.


f1b4f8  No.609701

>>609692

>red onion

>best for throwing away

Disgusting garbage.


5ae103  No.609725

>>609603

Slow cookers just make cooking shit take longer but your recipe sounds pretty good.

>>609620

This is not food, it's Amerimutt slop. It sounds like a blob of cheese with noodles in it.

>>609638

Good recipe. Cauliflower and pasta both go well with it. No reason not to use both. You also use that same cheese sauce recipe for lasagna, It's very versatile.

>>609644

How is a fine Aryan commando going to get hold of all that gook food? Are you suggesting we all become soy boys and wear Naruto headbands Strelok?

The cooking instructions is just stew, which is boiling everything you have for 45 minutes. It's not gook exclusive.


023e7b  No.609736

File: 2cb92fdc0a76d1b⋯.jpg (67.18 KB, 446x640, 223:320, 03.jpg)

File: 723f0d8248cb272⋯.jpg (67.67 KB, 731x412, 731:412, 02.jpg)

File: 390c0f2024a96d8⋯.jpg (65.17 KB, 489x663, 163:221, 01.jpg)

>>609725

>How is a fine Aryan commando going to get hold of all that gook food? Are you suggesting we all become soy boys and wear Naruto headbands Strelok?

Yeah, you're probably right. It would be better if I could say "at least the fermeted spice crap keeps forever", but mine turned to mold before I could use all of it. It was good shit, though.

Briefly considered trying to Americanize the recipe with more readily available ingredients, sauerkraut instead of kimchi, different spices, and so forth, but at that point you might as well make a pot of chili.

Anyway, Lord Woolton Pie: For when you want the home front to eat healthy, but wouldn't you know it there's a war on.

Recipe is listed verbatim in the image, so I won't bother. If you throw all the vegetables together at once, the cauliflower tends to turn to mush, so add that later. A chicken bouillon cube or two helps. Limitations of wartime rationing call for a potato pastry, but I use a hot water crust. (appx. two parts flour, two parts water, one part fat, half butter, half lard. Boil the water and fat, add to the flour, mix, knead, and shape while hot.)


df1cd7  No.609737

>>609725

The advantage is you can leave the slow cooker alone to do its thing while you take care of more important shit than stirring a pot every 20 minutes for 3 hours. Hell, turn it on in the morning, and come home from work to a hot, filling and cheap meal. Freeze whats left, itll keep for months no issues in just a tupperware in the freezer. Or pack it in vacuum sealed bags, and itll last even longer. Not that itll last that long, thats a pretty tasty recipe.


b9886d  No.609741

What the fuck do I do with this jar of sorghum


7d85b1  No.609742

>>609725

Sure, because a half-raw meat eating Britbong should tell what is food and what is not. I mean you don't even have quality cottage cheese on that rainy, foggy island…


316acd  No.609749

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>609595

Did you make that thread on /a/?

>/k/ focused recipes

:^)


987663  No.609777

>>609692

Pemmican?


357921  No.609778

File: 02f4eb63ba42298⋯.png (7.28 KB, 500x500, 1:1, 02f4eb63ba42298a763ce8aaaa….png)

>>609742

What the Dickens did you just blasted well say about my countrymen you Scallywag? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Eaton, and I've been involved in numerous secret Cricket matches and I have over 300 runs not out. I am trained in the Biscuit race and I'm the fastest ejaculator in the entire Foreign Office. You are nothing to me but just another Johnny foreigner. I will wipe the smirk from your upstart face with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, upon my honour as an Englishman. You think you can get away with saying that slanderous tommyrot to me through the Royal Mail? Think again, old bean. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Her Majesty’s Empire and your return address is being traced right now so you better prepare for a sternly worded reply, my good man. The sternly worded letter of complaint that wipes out the misbegotten thing you call your reputation. You're social standing and personal honour will lay in tatters, ruffian. I can be anywhere, anytime, as long as the Trains are running and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with our cuisine. Not only am I extensively trained in Cricket, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Women’s Royal Auxiliary and I will use it to its full extent to wipe away the snot thats undoubtedly dribbling from your nose you insufferable lout. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" correspondence was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your impudent tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you impertinent knave. I would pour us both a nice cup of Tea but you would only drown in it. I have informed her Majesty the Queen of this outrage, rapscallion.

Yours,

Col. A.P. Wimplesnape, ret. BsA. PbJ, PdQ,

Haarumph!


ab4daf  No.609790

My great uncle picked this one up in the cook house back when he was a conscript in the Aussie army. The only problem with this with this is that the recipe is a little rough and ready, and it can be hard to get people to try it.

Braised cabbage

2-3 rashes of bacon, diced

1 onion, diced or sliced

1/2 carrot, slivers

Green capsicum, chopped (only use a little)

1/3 to 1/2 a cabbage

Ground pepper

Method: Put a little bit of oil in a pan. When the oil is hot, add the bacon and onion. Stir occasionally until browned, then add the cabbage, carrot, and capsicum. Add ground pepper to taste. Turn down the heat to a simmer, put the lid on the pan, and simmer until the cabbage is soft.

Notes:

You will need to stir now and then to stop the ingredients from sticking to the pan.

The steam must be kept in during the simmer.

Too much green capsicum will alter the flavor.


8d5e57  No.609796

1. Buy a meat pie, bake it in the oven for 30 mins. You can microwave them but they taste much better done in the oven trust me.

2. Can of beans + hot dogs or spam and hot sauce will never not be good. Frying the spam a little before you add the beans can enhance the flavor.

3. Instant noodles

There you have 3 recipes which will keep you alive before and after SHTF.


8d5e57  No.609798

File: 287be009e2a11c2⋯.jpg (258.36 KB, 1536x1023, 512:341, 09c6ee1583d029aefd546ce375….jpg)

>>609796

Oh and if you can ever afford canned potatoes then I'd recommend this spice blend.

Paprika (Can be subbed for Allspice if you're out.)

Garlic powder (No substitutions for pure deliciousness.)

Nutmeg (Sage maybe?)

Tumeric (Mostly for color)

If you're completely out of some of the above you could always throw in some Cumin and Onion powder I guess. Praise Gretzky.


70baec  No.609800

File: 580d42be0b7f89d⋯.png (494.96 KB, 500x500, 1:1, ClipboardImage.png)

>>609595

My recipes tend to focus on having some very basic ingredients while they may not be "interesting" they'll fill you up and keep you satisfied. Obviously add salt/pepper/butter/whatever to taste as you go.

1: Get 2-3 cans of navy beans. rinse. heat, preferably on stove-top but microwave is ok in a pinch.

2: While those are cooking, fry up either some bacon or sausage. Only use UNCURED and UNSMOKED bacon however unless you want to get butt cancer later in life also about the sausage, get the good sausage, unless it's wrapped in real pig guts, it's not worth your time. Although hotdogs, polish sausage, and even the dreaded jimmy dean breakfast sausage can work if you're broke or something, but kielbasa sausage is the best of the "cheap" sausages, IMO.

Once those are done, chop 'em up and toss them into the beans.

3: But wait, there's more! You need some fucking gravy, now you CAN make some gravy out of the leftover sausage fat, but you're not going to have enough so just dump that into the beans as well. What I do is I put some water on the stove and mix in some stock cubes/bullion base, pic related is the best shit I've had to date. Anyway, make some stock and then grab some brown rice flour, wheat flour might work, but I'm allergic to wheat so I've never tried it. mix it in until it thickens up to a loose gravy, don't worry, it will thicken even more as it cools.

Pour the gravy on top of your beans and sausage and BAM you've got a damn fine meal right there. If you want to add some extra flavor, try frying up some onions and mixing them in. A small amount of cheese is also good, but too much will over thicken it. Maybe some soy/worcestershire sauce? If you want you could even fry up some tomatoes and throw those in. Really the sky is the limit.

>Why canned beans?

Because I've noticed they hold their shape better than dried beans, dried beans basically become a porridge. You COULD use dried beans, but it'd be soupier and you should probably hold off on the gravy.

>Why not cook the sausage in the beans?

Because you wouldn't get those nice crispy sear marks that taste so good, although that stuff's apparently not good for you, so if you want you could boil your sausage with your beans.

>Why not cook the onion with the beans?

Same reason as above.

Another recipe that's simple but good.

1: Get bacon or sausage following same rules as above, cook that shit in a pan, remove and place aside for later, leaving the remaining fat in the pan

2: get cabbage(s), remove core, chop roughly into chunks about twice as big as your thumb. place in same pan and in batches until they turn a darker green, lose rigidity, and are tender.

3: mix the two together and eat.

>That sounds too hard, what other recipes do you have faggot?

I'm glad you asked!

Here's a recipe for /k/unts that don't want to cook.

1 can of black beans

1 can of sweet corn or diced tomatoes.

mix in a bowl, heat, add parmesan, eat with spoon or tortilla chips.

Another easier recipe would be.

1: Boil some potatoes or cook some rice

2: Add marinara sauce

3: Eat

>When are you going to shut up faggot?

One more thing

Bone broth is fucking fantastic, go to your local grocery store and ask for soup bones, odds are they're in the back and they may have to cut them up for you. But stick those in a slow cooker with some celery (optional) and let is boil overnight or for at least 6 hours and you'll have a tasty nutritious broth to add anything. For example, with my gravy recipe from earlier use this shit instead of water and you'll freak the fuck out at how tasty it is. You'll know you've made a good bone broth if it turns to jello in the fridge.

>>609692

Literally the only onion that we need is the yellow onion. Everything else is shit, with the possible exception of the white onion, but even those are only good on burgers.

>>609798

You forgot bay leaves. You can toss one of those into any stew/soup and add some nice flavor, you can even save it and reuse it like your grandma with teabags if you're cheap. Also chives are good in everything, not so much for the taste, but for the aroma they give off, fucking fantastic.


f1b4f8  No.609810

>>609798

Tumeric tastes like taint, it's better to just use sweet paprika. It comes in the same color, and has a very mild taste.


df1cd7  No.609823

>>609810

fresh turmeric doesn't have that awful bitterness to it, and there's other health benefits besides. preliminary studies into the effect of curcumin (that's the good shit in turmeric) on the brain indicates it may well help with alzheimers. plus its an anti inflammatory, so there's that. and im fucking terrified of alzhies, so im a little biased.


ab0d95  No.609831

>>609778

u mad?


5ae103  No.609878

>>609742

Yea, fuck us British for inventing the Sunday roast. A meal so good every other faggot rips it off for their festivals like Christmas and Thanks giving. We're just so bad at everything that the entire world copies what we do and then claims "it's not British it's just generic human". Even the national food of the Amerimutts is just the Earl of Sandwich's invention.

I bet I'm whiter than you too.

Can we get some more recipes than "beans and bacon" over and over please?

<Stew

Onions

Potatoes

Swede

Mushrooms

Carrots

Beef

Exact quantities vary based on what you like but it'll work as long as you don't have too much swede which has a very strong flavour.

>Peel and quarter onion

>Cut carrot into slices about half an inch thick

>Cut Mushrooms in half if button other wise slice

>Cut swede, potatoes and beer into cubes

>Put everything into a pan together with a little sunflower oil and fry until the onions are soft and you have a brown bottom to the pan (not black, that's burnt).

>Add boiling water until pan is 3/4th full and there's at least an inch between the contents and the air

>Scrape bottom of the pan with your spatula to lift all the brown frying flavour and mix it into the water creating your own stock

>Add salt and pepper

>Put lid on and leave to softly boil for 30-60 minutes depending on the size of vegetables

>Meat should all but fall apart on your fork and vegetables should should be soft but still holding together.

Optional god tier addition.

Mix suet with flour to form a ball. Should be slightly dry rather than wet. Put your dumplings into the stew 15 minutes before it's finished and leave them to cook. They will absorb all the flavour while helping to thicken the stew making it into an almost gravy. Baseball size dumplings are best and take a bit longer to cook but you can also do golf ball sized ones which cook faster.

There's pretty much no better meal on the planet when the weathers cold. It's easy to make and you can make enough for several days at very low cost. It's easy to cook so that even a child could make it but also healthy (dumplings aren't but they're optional).

Wouldn't recommend freezing it as it can split. It stirs back together fine but it's one of those meals that is best right from the pan or microwaved within a day or two. Doesn't mean you can't and it won't survive well in air tight packs but it's so easy to make it's worth doing fresh.


7d85b1  No.609908

File: 3197607deddc4a1⋯.jpg (523.13 KB, 2048x1536, 4:3, DSC_2259s.jpg)

>>609878

>I bet I'm whiter than you too.

How is that come with cooking anyway? Anyway, what is the worth of you being white when your oh so precious of imperial capital is more than 50% non-British (dare I say, non-White) anymore? While I live in a more than 90% White country. Pic unrelated.


b2c735  No.609919

>>609878

>Britain invented roasting meat and boiling vegetables

What the fuck am I reading.


2543bc  No.609920

>>609878

>Cut swede, potatoes and beer into cubes

Can I substitute a Mexican for the Swede and leave out the sunflower oil? I figure the spic is greasy enough as is.


542189  No.609921

File: 0b1fd7040130142⋯.jpg (45.12 KB, 550x563, 550:563, automaticPressureCooker.jpg)

Crack ten eggs into an automatic pressure cooker. (I don't know how to use a stove-top pressure cooker because I can't find one for sale in our decadent modern civilization.)

Add 350 grams of pork chops.

Set heat to maximum.

Wait.

When the automatic sensor signals the end of heating, turn off power, open, serve and enjoy.


5ae103  No.609951

>>609920

No, but you can sub out the potato for an Irish cunt.

>>609908

>Slavs

>White

Okay.


78c7e8  No.610034

File: 9310efc2a7a07b4⋯.jpg (109.23 KB, 600x800, 3:4, 1454909003843-0.jpg)

Get a big fuck off cast iron frying pan

12-18 eggs

potatoes, dice or shred them.

any fucking veggie you want.

meat, cooked/cured. Can be anything you want.

spices.

cheese is optional.

First off grease the ever loving fuck out of that pan, then layer your meat on the bottom of the pan. Add a layer of potatoes, then a layer of veggies, then another layer of potato and a final one of veggies, while layering add beaten egg into the pan. Cover the top with more meat, cheese or both or if you like veggies layer the top with spinach. Throw into an oven at 375-400 freedom units and cook until a toothpick comes clean. Can be made on a campfire if you're crafty enough.

Trout.

Catch a trout, gut it, filet it and eat it. Its basic bitch enough even fucktarded communist could do it provided they figure out hooks aren't fashion accessories.

>>609878

>that entire post

Lay off the buckfast you fucking taig.


52e1af  No.610072

>>609921

Do the same but stir the eggs and add sauce.


e037a0  No.610083

>>609951

>Hungarians

>Slavs

Your ignorance is astonishing.


35d252  No.610092

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>609878

>Can we get some more recipes than "beans and bacon" over and over please?

Sure! Also you're a whiny faggot that needs to shut his god damned mouth you fucking half-breed commie

Take beef jerky, the real stufff, not the kind you'd find at the store. Basically just dried/smoked meat.

Put said jerky into pot with a small amount of water.

Cook until jerky falls apart, pull it apart/shred it until there aren't any big chunks anymore.

Take piece of bread, toast it, add a lot of butter.

Pour jerky gravy shit on top of bread.

Toast bread

cut into tiny pieces

get several eggs, crack them into a bowl, stir them up, and add the toast bits.

cook like regular fucking eggs/omelet.

Really this is just a way to make your eggs stretch farther.

Kill enemies

Eat them

Take flour and water, mix into dough

flatten out and place on an oiled nonstick pan

Cook while flipping until done.

Bam, you have shitty cheap flat bread. Add it to soups, salads, what have you.

Take spinach

add ranch/blue cheese dressing

eat

Steam some cauliflower

mash or rice afterwards

add butter and cheese if you want.

Eat

Take apples, core them, peal if desired (I'd say keep the skin)

put a dab of butter in the now empty middle.

sprinkle brown sugar and cinnamon on top

place in oven and bake at 350F for 30-40 minutes

Video related. In fact this lady had a lot of good stuff. like the apples, and the next recipe.

Get peppers

cut them up

mix them into eggs

cook

make pepper and egg sandwich

Cook rice

add savory sauce/toppings

you happy now faggot?


35d252  No.610094

>>610092

OH! I forgot

Make cornbread

Pour a can of chili or two on top.

add butter if you want

eat.


542189  No.610110

>>610072

Yes, good point, break the yolks of the eggs so that you don't have tasteless white and overly rich isolated yolk. Stir them up for flavor.


f7157c  No.610176

File: eab728aeb52a4b1⋯.jpg (146.62 KB, 1024x700, 256:175, 1452240519144-1.jpg)

>>609620

I eat this at least once a month. I don't know how to spell it, though. My dad always pronounced it as "Toodle Stesh-tah" but I know that can't be right.

I usually serve this with beef tips and broccoli, it's a very hearty meal.


ca0fcd  No.610178

File: a25bf7457662761⋯.jpg (33.42 KB, 600x388, 150:97, galuska.jpg)

>>610176

That should be túrós tészta. Jewgle Translator's pronunciation is surprisingly good.

https://translate.google.com/#auto/en/t%C3%BAr%C3%B3s%20t%C3%A9szta

Note that the other anon said galuska instead of tészta. The later is a generic word for pasta, while the former specifically means pic related. Also, you can add szalonna* to it. Or you can add sugar if you prefer it sweet.

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salo_(food)


f7157c  No.610190

File: a10edee88a87567⋯.jpg (58.59 KB, 596x716, 149:179, 1452105604174.jpg)

>>610178

I for one welcome my homeland as a return to the front of the world's stage; and I celebrate this fact with the dishes I share with friends. As a subtle reminder.

We're back


ca0fcd  No.610206

File: 44be6b61e042567⋯.jpg (87.94 KB, 640x421, 640:421, KABSZ - Győzelemig!.jpg)

>>610190

>a return to the front of the world's stage

>We're back

These words suggest to me that you mistakenly believe that Orbán is some kind of a great leader who made Hungary a significant player again. In fact hundreds of thousands of Hungarians left the country, and the birth rates are so low that we are dying out. It's even worse when you consider that up to 25% of children under the age of 5 are subhuman gypsies. And we don't even have a proper army, as all the politicians let it rot away for the last three decades. Orbán and his lackeys are a bunch of corrupt idiots who only know how to steal euroshekels and make propaganda. Not to mention that Fidesz is full of jews. If it was up to people like me we'd shoot members of that party into the Danube, like how they did it with traitors during the siege of Budapest.


33cf8a  No.610211

>>610206

Why are there so many goddamn magyars here now? second migration period? did i miss something because i thought there used just be one. are you people summoned by stew threads?

polite sage for off-topic


84b998  No.610260

>>609736

>diced swedes

Wartime Britain didn't fuck around, did they?


84b998  No.610261

>>609736

>diced swedes

Wartime Britain didn't fuck around, did they? Could I substitute niggers or liberals instead?


84b998  No.610264

File: 19260a8706636a3⋯.jpg (435.24 KB, 781x1024, 781:1024, 1520868857491.jpg)

>610092

>Kill enemies

>Eat them

This guy gets it.


09a5f5  No.610287

heres a list of pantry essentials for any kitchen. a jar of stock concentrate like bonox, or stock cubes. i like mushroom stock cubes, i find em in asian supermarkets. a jar of yeast extract like vegemite, its handy to add to gravies or stews for a bit more flavour. neutral high smoke point oil, like rice bran oil. olive oil for salad dressings and the like, also cooking. flour, obviously, regular bakers flour is perfectly adequate. corn flour and corn meal are also handy. oatmeal. a selection of spices, i recommend whole spices, they keep better. cinnamon, cumin, coriander seeds, pepper, cloves, allspice, star anise, just to start with, expand as needed. dried herbs, sage, rosemary, thyme, bay leaves, dill, oregano. curry leaves, if you like making curries. onion flakes and garlic granules. honey. sugar, both brown and white. season-all, chicken salt. vegetable shortening. bicarb soda. baking powder. cocoa, its handy for more than just sweet shit. canned soups are great, mushroom soup makes for a nice addition to scalloped potatoes when you cook them. dried fruits, makes for a good addition to oatmeal. a selection of dried beans, refer to the recipe at the start of the thread.

the slightly more perishable stuff, a bag of potatoes, unwashed if possible, keep them in a covered cardboard box or heavy cloth sack in the pantry. a nice versatile spud like a carisma, or ruby lou is ideal. im entirely unfamiliar with the types you can find in america though. a few jars of pomodoro, or plain cooked tomatoes, a few jars of ready made pasta sauce. a pumpkin. kent is good. ideally from a farmers market, they tend to be fresher, and it can last upwards of a month in the pantry. brown onions. garlic, and its also the only thing that i will recommend you buy not locally, spanish and mexican garlic is superior. avoid the shitty pure white garlic.

this will allow you to make almost any basic recipe, you shouldnt have to buy anything but the protein and fresh vegetables.


09a5f5  No.610290

ah fuck, rice and salt as well, some form of pasta, balsamic vinegar, white or malt vinegar. whit vinegar is handy for cleaning, too.


f1b4f8  No.610351

>>610287

I dont have vegemite because im bit a british criminal, and i dont have curry because im not a street shitter. You realize there are spicy european dishes that are a lot tastier than curry? Look into Hungarian quisine. Also no oatmeal its just too much work.

Have the rest of that though.

I would also add pickled stuffs, dried/smoked meats and aged cheeses. Staples of any pantry.


f06fae  No.610359

>>610287

>like bonox, or stock cubes

Go with stock cubes if given the choice, they last WAY longer.

Also, I subscribe to the belief that we should find the stuff that we'll need to eat in the apocalypse and start eating it right now. We're not going to be able to can our own vegetables indefinitely because you need new lids/gaskets. So we need to get used to pickled, dried, and fermented foods, ASAP. As for potatoes being "perishable" I'd have to disagree, if you live in a colder environtment and you keep them in the basement/root cellar in the dark they can last your several months. Although I do agree they should be UNWASHED, I'm not sure but I swear when you wash them it causes the potato to want to sprout.

>>610351

>oatmeal its just too much work.

1 cup oats

2 cups water

microwave for 5 minutes

"too much work"

nigger what? Unless you're talking about steal cut oats, oatmeal is super fucking easy to make.


07e422  No.610376

File: 2e47e9c5c83e172⋯.png (403.05 KB, 1024x538, 512:269, ClipboardImage.png)

>>609603

For the impatient, git a pressure cooker. The programmable kind. You can use one as a slow cooker if you have all the FUCKING DAY TO COOK YOUR GODDAMN FOOD. Or you can hurry it up. Slightly less tasty, but it's fast. Remember to brown your meat. It's a law. Brown the meat. There is never a situation where you shouldn't brown the meat somehow.


07e422  No.610377

>>610264

Don't be a retard. You feed them to the pigs. Then you eat the pigs.


8c2e59  No.610784

>>610351

Hence why i said curry leaves *if you like making curry*. Im well aware of good spicy europoor food, ghoulash is one of my many specialties. Speaking of, that deserves a recipe on here. In a few hours tho, im busy.


081ada  No.610802

File: 392c1272921c1f7⋯.jpeg (9.28 KB, 275x183, 275:183, images (2).jpeg)

>>610351

>>610359

Additional nigger/idiot proof way to do oatmeal for lazy faggots is:

>Tupperware/mason jar/bowl with lid

>quick/instant oatmeal(e.g. Quaker)

>milk

Add that with whatever mix-ins and seasoning you like(fresh or dried fruit, nuts, sugar cinnamon etc) to container and stir it up.

Put it in the fridge over night and eat it with a spoon like normal cereal the next morning.


a01c99  No.613940

>>610802

Just tried it, fucking nasty lad. I'll stick to normal oatmeal thank you.


1cb9e0  No.613957

>>609725

Having eaten english food, you bong just need to shut the fuck up and take notes.

>Slow cookers just make cooking shit take longer but your recipe sounds pretty good.

No, it stews food in a way that brings out the flavor.

Also, where's your recipe?

Pulled pork:

2lbs pork roast (better if you went out and shot it yourself)

1lbs chopped yellow onion

3tbs minced garlic

1tbs minced ginger

3tbs chipotle peppers

1/4cup lime juice

3tbs molasses

Salt to taste when fully cooked

Put all ingredients in a crock pot and cover with water.

This will take between 10 and 16 hours to cook depending on the density of the meat and the age of the animal when killed.

When cooked the meat will come apart along the grain.

Drain and serve as is or as a filler for sandwiches or tacos.

Optional: You can further spice this dish up in different ways - Liquid smoke, chili powder, creole seasoning (a personal favorite of mine), Pineapple and coconut milk, and many others. (for the young and learning Strelock chefs, not all at once)


8de0f7  No.613976

>>610784

>an Aussie can cook gulyás

>meanwhile you are stuck with basic shit like krumplileves and pörkölt and have to rely on your mum if you want to eat gulyás


8de0f7  No.613978

File: d2608a2af07a005⋯.jpg (66.9 KB, 384x768, 1:2, hungaryisperfectamirite.jpg)

>>610206

Couldn't put it better. I'm planning to leave to the US as my gipsy-infested Eastern Hungarian village is becoming uninhabitable and there is nothing I can do about it other than carrying a knife with me everywhere I go.


7281e0  No.614020

File: 1b12c768a5bbcd4⋯.pdf (3.1 MB, Horváth Ilona - Szakácskön….pdf)

>>610784

Do you mean gulyás or gulyásleves? The later is just a beefsoup that most people mistake for real gulyás, even here.

>>613976

My mother says that you can cook if you can read. So read.

>>613978

If you didn't leave already then it's useless by now. There is such a chronic lack of workforce here you can get a wage that is comparable to the rest of Central Europe, and it's climbing up slowly but surely. You just have to come to the northern parts of Transdanubia for it though. Although if you want to start a business then I can understand why would you want to go away.


1cb9e0  No.614044

>>614020

Wish I could read it.


8aa4b7  No.614072

How to cook boneless skinless chicken breast in cast iron. A recipe so easy you'll have it memorized after doing it once or twice.

>Make sure your chicken breast is thawed completely. If it's frozen then you should keep it in the fridge for between 24 and 48 hours.

>Oil your skillet. If cooking indoors you'll want an oil with a high smoke point like canola oil. Cooking with olive oil will set off smoke alarms. If you're cooking outdoors then use whatever oil you want.

>Heat up the skillet over medium high heat.

>Pat a chicken breast dry with paper towels

>If the chicken breast is very thick, pound it down to be thinner. After cooking chicken breast a couple of times you'll know when a breast is too thick and won't cook all the way through. If the breast wasn't thawed all the way then this step is even more important.

>Season both sides with ample amounts of kosher salt and your preferred amount of pepper. Freshly ground pepper if you have it.

>Check to make sure the skillet is hot by hovering your hand over it or by going "eh, it's been long enough".

>Once the skillet is hot, put the chicken breast into the center of the oiled skillet.

>Cook on one side for 5 to 7 minutes. Do not touch it or move it.

>Flip and cook the other side for another 5 to 7 minutes.

>Cut into the thickest part and check that it's cooked all the way

>If it's cooked all the way through then it's ready to eat.

Chicken breast cooked this way is really juicy and flavorful. The salt dries the outside layer of the chicken and cooking it like that forms this delicious crust on the outside which seals in the moisture.


84b998  No.614173

>>610377

Waste of meat, honestly. Avoid the brains and any obviously fucked-up organ meat, and long pork is hardly dissimilar to normal pork. Let the pigs eat the scraps you don't want and the rest of your edible garbage.


1cb9e0  No.614178

File: 6895ce675e9bc40⋯.jpg (460.38 KB, 1279x938, 1279:938, 1280px-Southern_Cassowary_….jpg)

>>614173

That's not what the cannibals told me.

They said that human flesh tastes a lot like bird meat. (specifically cassowary)


6bdd60  No.614452

>>614020

Probably the latter, i have no idea what the difference is. ive actually forgotten where my recipe for it is, but i know it had beef, capsicum, onion, paprika and a couple other odds and ends.


dc75e6  No.614457

File: 13d0bf487704446⋯.jpg (2.02 MB, 5312x2988, 16:9, 4.5lbs of Hickory Smoked P….jpg)

I really wish Trump was like Bubba who liked to Smoke meat and offered meat that he did in new ways to WH tourist.


5ae103  No.615217

Need some good wholesome family food recipes for when the whole family goes commando.


f1c973  No.615356

File: 1b7d0cc8a7bb96e⋯.jpg (59.3 KB, 630x314, 315:157, 41ec1fc1b2eb84050f848dac08….jpg)

Best burger mix:

1.5lb pork

1lb lean beef

0.5lb lamb (can substitute bread crumbs)

1 egg white

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 teaspoons coarse grind black pepper

2 teaspoon red paprika

4 garlic cloves diced and minced


405978  No.615359

>>610264

I'm a bit of a health nut, I only eat vegans.


40a8ad  No.615395

File: afdd5fa17991acf⋯.gif (28.66 KB, 482x800, 241:400, dd60e30884c3bb2bd2097f9b66….gif)

>>615356

I think bison meat is a good substitute for the lean beef otherwise breddy gud


dc4b25  No.615501

File: 7db77137813d17b⋯.png (1.48 MB, 1000x751, 1000:751, ClipboardImage.png)

>>615395

>bison meat is good

yeah it's

>as a substitute for lean beef

anon no. I'll admit I'm no expert of bison meat, but from what I've had it may not be "fatty" but the fat that IS there is like 10x as potent as beef fat. every time I eat a bison burger it's not "greasy" per say, but the fat is so damn potent that it could fuel a hummer.


aaaf16  No.615508

>>614044

I obviously won't translate the whole thing for you, but I can try to translate a few recipes if you have a request.


82d99e  No.615806

>>610034

I make something similar I call "slop" but I fry everything up instead of baking. It's basically shredded hash browns with a bunch of shit mixed in.

Meatloaf

>1# ground beef

>0.5 cup of diced onions

>0.5 cup of diced bell pepper

>~4oz of diced mushrooms (i like shittake but portabello would be fine)

>0.5 cup of breadcrumbs

>1 egg

>2 garlic cloves, diced

>1tsp smoked paprika

>1tsp crushed red pepper

>1tbsp worcestshire sauce

>1tbsp red wine vinegar

>salt+black pepper to taste

>barbeque sauce of choice (for store-bought, i prefer sweet baby Ray's chipolte honey bbq)

Sautee mushrooms and garlic until browned, let cool. Mix everything except the bbq sauce in a large bowl. Pack meat mixture into breadpan or form a loaf shape with the meat mixture and place in a baking dish. Glaze exposed sides of meat with your bbq sauce. (I prefer a baking dish since more sides of the loaf is exposed for glazing)

Bake 350°F for 50-60minutes


f1c973  No.615875

>>615395

The key is the baking soda, it causes the burger to fluff up and rise like a pastry. This makes for a lot softer burger, it literally can't be tough.


5ae103  No.615913

>>615875

>Meat quality so low you have to add baking soda to it

WTF kind of shitty meat do you have leaf? Good meat doesn't need additives. If you're having to add shit like that to it then your supply chain is fucked up some where.


1cb9e0  No.615918

>>615913

>pssst…. it's Canada….


f1c973  No.615919

File: e7c1b6bad209120⋯.jpg (1.96 MB, 1600x1200, 4:3, 48368698_Medium.jpg)

>>615913

>pretending to be a meat purist to sound cool on an imageboard

>not knowing how burgers are made

>not knowing what meat is

Do you at least cook your food?


cb6357  No.615955

>>614173

I thought that the nasty prions were found in all nervous tissue, so you get Kuru no matter what.

The lord found a way to punish anyone caught committing gastronomical heresy.

>>614178

How do you hunt a cassowary? Those things are more dangerous than emus. They're probably just as bulletproof too.


1cb9e0  No.615957

>>615955

With a rope.


5ae103  No.616052

>>615919

>Meat purist

You mean I think a burger should be made up of meat and flavouring? Sure. You can add some bread crumbs to make it stick or some fried onions but that's as far as it goes. Adding baking powder is just insane. It's the sort of American shite they serve at mcdonalds that's designed to never go bad not be eaten.


069e89  No.625321

>toast

>bacon

>little bit of syrup

= Luxury

Health = Just eat more rabbit food.

Lettuce for example takes more energy to digest than actually giving you anything so if you eat lots of that, you'll lose weight.

Eat oats in the morning or for lunch. Or make it a brunch if you can't do either. 3 meals a day is key but most of us can't afford it or don't have the time. Eat your carbs in the morning and you meats and veg in the evening. Do not eat and then go sleep. Do not starve yourself before you eat because then your body stores everything. Bring down your portion size. Cut down on the beer (the hardest part)


405978  No.625327

Had kangaroo once, wish we could have them as a delicious invasive species.


d1b14b  No.625397

File: 60c13ecd763d8aa⋯.jpg (34.01 KB, 772x434, 386:217, letterbox_resizeimage593x4….jpg)

Superior boiled egg and soldiers/dippy egg coming though.


d1b14b  No.625399

>>609742

>because a half-raw meat eating Britbong

I'm confused, I thought the stereotype was that we overcooked our meat. Certainly more people I know would demand well done than anything half-raw.

>>610034

>Lay off the buckfast you fucking taig.

Please learn what the word taig means before using it. Not that that anon isn't being a faggot mind.

>>610206

>Orbán and his lackeys are a bunch of corrupt idiots who only know how to steal euroshekels and make propaganda.

Nice to see a magyar who knows he's being fed bullshit for once. Orban is sadly just another Eastern European politician who is only making the smallest of symbolic gestures without dealing with the root problem of the EU.

>>610260

>>609920

>not just calling them neeps to avoid ambiguity


24a69e  No.625400

>>616052

You realize baking powder turns into salt, water and carbon dioxide when cooked?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicarbonate_of_soda#Thermal_decomposition

It makes the meat rise so its not as dense, it's a leavening agent, not radioactive fuel you fucking idiot.

You know this kind of retarded backwards attitude about food is why humans pack food into suitcases when they have to visit your pathetic island, because even a squished sandwich is better than clotted puke or whatever you faggots (homosexuals) are eating nowadays.


72c03c  No.625412

>>625397

>he doesn't score chevrons into the toast to turn the undisciplined mob of bread into a proper fire team

Do you even have autism?


fd0914  No.625414

>>625400

Remind me never to eat the garbage you cook if you consider using baking soda in cooking. Nobody using that crap. Nobody does leavening, especially for meat. What the fuck are you smoking?


24a69e  No.625449

>>625414

>nobody uses baking soda in cooking

>nobody does leavening

What the actual fuuuuuuck?


943876  No.625452

>>625449

Leavening meat sounds weird as fuck.

>t. feta nigger


8256f7  No.625472

>>625449

You sound like a fag. Leavening is gay and fills your food with shit.

Name one instance where baking powder is used in cooking. It's a powder used for cleaning only.

You don't put dish soap in your food, so why the hell would you put baking soda in? Whoever named it that was either a dipshit or a good troll.


e198b7  No.625502

File: 16b1798366ff3fb⋯.jpg (40.28 KB, 691x461, 691:461, satan in two legs.jpg)

>>615955

I wonder if cassowary meat tastes bitter because of the evil.




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