عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَوْفٍ رضي الله عنه قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: (إِذَا صَلَّتْ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا, وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا, وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا, وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا, قِيلَ لَهَا ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شِئْتِ) رواه الإمام أحمد.
عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما قال: (جاءت امرأة إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقالت: يا رسول الله أنا وافدةُ النساء إليك, هذا الجهاد كتبه الله على الرجال, فإن يصيبوا أُجِروا, وإن قُتِلوا كانوا أحياءً عند ربهم يرزقون, ونحن معشر النساء نقوم عليهم, فما لنا من ذلك؟ قال: فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: أبلغي من لقيت من النساء أن طاعة الزوج واعترافاً بحقه يَعْدِلُ ذلك, وقليل منكنَّ من يفعله) رواه البزار
روى الترمذي عن أُمّ سَلَمَة رضي الله عنها, أَنَّ النَّبِيّ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: (أَيّمَا اِمْرَأَة مَاتَتْ وَزَوْجهَا رَاضٍ عَنْهَا دَخَلَتْ الْجَنَّة).
Tldr: your husband will die and suffer in jihad, but your jihad is your husband and obeying him and fullfiling his rights.
You could not obey him but then he will not be satisfied with you, which does not fullfill his rights over you, which might result in bad in the day of judgement.
You for sure only obey your father/husband in which is not bad/shirk/haram ect. Meaning only in what please allah.
But sometimes some men are not good and they dont fullfill the wife's rights or even dont fullfill Allah's rights over him, then thats another subject about 'how to encourage him and help him and if it doesn't work you could divorce if you see yourself you don't have patience', this is a larger topic i cant just put it in a post but the conclusion is if you follow the prophet muhammad's way you must obey your husband, or if you don't then how do you sleep at night knowing you dont even fullfil his right? How can a marriage work out if its not good?
But also if you are that kind of muslimat that dont listen to hadith, just try and search and read about how the wifes of the prophet treated him and wifes of the sahabah, that might help more in understanding the topic.
May allah forgive us
I know nothing but allah knows.
>Inb4 your have rights over him, but that not our discussion rn.