a4ef93 No.42761
I supervise some college aged women at work who dress in a very sexy way (yoga pants or very small shorts).
I am single and often fantasize about them. I have mixed feelings as I wish they were more modest and only showed that much to their future husbands, and I’m concerned about how men may use them for sex. But on the other hand, I enjoy being in the presence of sexy women. They like working with me and often do so for their entire 4 years at college.
I am not allowed to date them. I don’t know how to deal with my feelings. Am I bad for fantasizing about them? I feel like I am promoting their behavior in same one, even though this is entirely in my head.
I feel so confused because one of them wore very tiny shorts when working with me (I could see skin of her bum) then later in the afternoons she changed to jeans when she worked for a woman. I feel like they are flirting with me which makes it harder to resist fantasizing. I feel guilty for liking this.
We do not have a dress code at work. It’s basically what the students wear to class.
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4907d4 No.42762
>>42761
You are responsible for your own actions. Stop looking at them, stop fantasizing about them. Or find another job.
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cb4836 No.42763
>>42761
It's 60% mindset, 40% effort.
Without trying to comment on Islam (since this is an Islamd thread), or trying to assume anything about your life, one of the factual drawbacks to women culturally wearing a hijab, niqab, burqa, or other concealing clothes is that the men are robbed of developing their strength of willpower when it comes to the female body.
You're not bad for fantasizing about them, it's literally hard-wired into your brain, but that doesn't mean you should give into these thoughts.
To refer to an ancient Native American metaphor the strength of the wolf is up to which wolf you feed. (The wolves represent your thoughts.)
The fact they are openly trying to flirt with you means you definitely should not give into the temptations, because they more than likely are trying to use you in that context.
I'd just turn those thoughts into something more positive, and practice strengthening your willpower. That's really all you can do.
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4907d4 No.42764
>>42763
>The fact they are openly trying to flirt with you
Changing pants is not flirtation. Don't feed OP's delusion and stop using pagan "wisdom". This isn't just an Islamic thread, it's an Islamic board. Every thread here is Islamic.
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a4ef93 No.42765
>>42762
So if a woman walked by you in a bikini right this second, you wouldn’t notice? You wouldn’t feel anything?
Are you gay?
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a4ef93 No.42766
>>42763
Thanks. This is useful.
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a4ef93 No.42767
>>42764
You said nothing helpful to someone in need, unlike the poster you criticized. Reflect on this.
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a4ef93 No.42770
>>42768
I want to, but I don’t know how. I don’t really have a supportive family to help me.
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4907d4 No.42771
>>42765
Of course I would notice, but I wouldn't obsess over it.
>>42767
Qur'an says men are to protect their modesty and cast their gaze downward. If you think Qur'an isn't helpful, then you're on the wrong board.
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4907d4 No.42772
>>42770
No supportive family, obsessing over women's butts, thinks changing pants is flirting …
Did you mistake us for /r9k/? Man up, incel.
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0d2ddd No.42783
>>42779
>Literally ask any masjid. Or any muslim brother you know if he has a sister. There's no shame if you are ready.
this
>Or try muslim dating apps, the paying ones have more serious people.
>dating
opinion discarded
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af093c No.42794
>>42761
You have to train yourself little by little to lower your gaze and stop staring, its probably likely that they even noticed that you check them out. And its definitely something you can train yourself to do, it also used to be hard for me to not stare, but thats because I was always doing it, consciously and because I was doing it so much on purpose, I eventually started doing it even unconsciously, it just became a habit. You gotta do this, because even when you get married, you're going to have this habit unless you force yourself to stop.
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05b53a No.42797
>>42783
>Or try muslim dating apps, the paying ones have more serious people.
Some of the people on there don't want to 'date'. They want marriage in accordance with Islamic law. They are few, but they are there.
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0d2ddd No.42825
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02cc73 No.42830
>>42770
Go to a masjid and talk to the Imam.
Alternatively, there are many websites online to help muslims get married, ignore dating sites.
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2c16d4 No.42837
People are being too harsh on you imo It's not as simple as "just ignore them" especially if you are a young male (like me, I am going through something very similar) But I don't think there are any solutions to your problem sorry
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