dd3f40 No.39152
Salam aleikum,
I posted some time ago in this thread: https://8ch.net/islam/res/36992.html and wanted to give an update. I decided to give the marriage a try given some of the advice and so far it is working, but I would be lying if the fact I had to do it and it was basically forced on me wasn't a hang up. I even went to an imam and told me frankly about my situation and he said it is better to try a marriage even if it is forced than to just hastily divorce, not sure if that is good islamic advice or not. Maybe I am coming off as whiny but I am being honest about my feelings. So things are still very difficult.
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727f2e No.39154
Have you been honest about your feelings with your husband, too? Maybe things could be different if he knew that,and why, you are not exactly happy with your marriage.
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50c39d No.39158
Maybe in the back of your head you think "Could I do better?" but that is just doubts from shaytan. As long as your husband is providing and is not physically unappealing to you, I don't see why you would have a problem sister.
You must communicate with him about how you feel, and not rush into an emotional decision, and remember :
>4:59 O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result.
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49ac05 No.39161
>>39152
You might want to talk to your husband about this, not us.
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43ace3 No.39164
>>39152
When you start to have doubts, just remember Allah and seek refuge in Him since it is the best way to protect oneself from evil suggestions. You should talk to your husband about what is bothering you. Remember that finding a Muslim husband that is practicing Islam and that will be good to you is not easy, and if you decide to get a divorce that there is no guarantee that you will be able to find someone else like that through another means. It would also be difficult to get into another marriage situation without getting involved in premarital relations or other haram activities. Lots of guys will pretend to be pious and good, then after you are locked into a marriage with them you see their true nature which is not good at all. You might become very regretful for losing what you had to begin with, and you might not have a way to get it back.
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60668b No.39219
>>39152
Walaikum salam
Unless you clearly rejected the marriage proposal, unless you clearly said "no" to the marriage, it wasn't "forced" on you. You're parents being too pushy doesn't mean you had zero say in it. As is evident from the replies you made in that previous thread. Not sure exactly why you made another one. The replies in there were probably sufficient enough. Allahu A'lam. You yourself have said that the only problem with this marriage is that it wasn't on your own terms or something like that. You haven't talked about any major fault that you find with your husband.
So what exactly is the problem?
Talk frankly with your husband and your family about this matter. And in the end, if you want to get a separation after all, make sure you do it for the RIGHT reasons.
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40ccf7 No.39234
If a woman told me that she divorced her last husband simply because she “didn’t feel right about it being an arranged marriage” without there being any problems at all with her husband, I would not marry her and I would advise all the brothers I knew not to marry her. Not even if she was beautiful. That is a huge red flag. It is a sign of being irrational, unstable, and following ones whims and desires without considering the consequences.
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bfd251 No.39242
>>39154
Not yet, no. But he was also forced into this marriage, but he seems much more content and happier with it.
>>39158
I am thinking something like that, more like "If I had gotten to choose, would I choose someone else?"
>>39164
I didn't know it was that difficult? And lots pretend?
>>39219
I guess the problem is I do feel we were forced into it.
>>39234
What do you mean?
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13160c No.39257
>>39152
Does your husband know you're talking to strange men on the internet?
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8778ea No.39261
>>39234
this, i don't think she is mature enough to marry.
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50c39d No.39267
>>39242
>he seems much more content and happier with it
men aren't hard to figure out, just the basics will suffice to make him happy
>I am thinking something like that, more like "If I had gotten to choose, would I choose someone else?"
thats normal because women are investing a lot of time and energy in a man and should make the right decision picking the best man they can, but in my opinion, I dont think there is better for you in the USA, the safer option is arranged marriage with your parents approval, most of the other men you could get are either immoral, irreligious or deviant, and think of the time you are saving with an arranged marriage to find a spouse which your parents trust
>I didn't know it was that difficult? And lots pretend?
yes there are many non practicing muslims which could have a negative influence on you or your children, and your parents probably chose this man knowing he is a good muslim
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43ace3 No.39300
>>39242
You wouldn’t believe. They will pretend to be the most pious Muslim on earth, and will be so charming that you become completely infatuated. Some will be knowledgeable about Islam and use that to trick you into not accepting any maher. Then after you get married you will find out that he has 2 other wives and you are going to live with them in a small house. Leaving the house isn’t really an option. He won’t be charming anymore, but will pretty much just be a Munafiq borderline kaffir with bad manners who likes polygamy. That is just from a few of the stories I have heard.
You might want to consider what you are doing when you leave a perfectly good Muslim husband for no reason other than a few doubts about how the marriage came about.
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09eb23 No.39301
>>39257
>>39261
Both these. I’m starting to think the bro deserves a better wife. May Allah make her that wife or free the bro of her. Ameen.
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09eb23 No.39302
>>39300
>in a small house
Sounds like shaming poorer bros
>stories i’ve heard
Third hand reports. Ok.
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40ccf7 No.39316
>>39301
You are acting like Shaitan’s little helper.
>>39242
You are in the United States. There are “Muslims” who don’t pray, who drink alcohol and use drugs, who visit prostitutes. Then during Ramadan you will see those same “Muslims” in the Mosque every night with a beard full of tears during the tarawih. That is why people do arranged marriages. I’m sure your parents spent a lot of time looking around, asking different people, doing research to try to find the best Muslim they could to be your husband–because they want you to be safe. They obviously did a good job because you would know by now if there were serious problems with your husband’s behavior.
One of Shaitan’s favorite things is to break up Muslim marriages. He will make small problems seem huge in your mind, and you will keep thinking about them all day long until you make mountains out of mole hills. That is why it is important to talk to your husband when you have problems. Don’t keep them secret and let them fester in your mind.
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50c39d No.39319
>>39300
Nothing wrong with polygamy.
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50c39d No.39320
>>39152
TL;DR leave this board full of random men and speak to your husband about it
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d0b790 No.39526
>>39320
that is probably a good point, thank you
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