/islam/ - 8kun Masjid

I have 2 children, both under 4 years old. Both will be sent to public schools with supplemental education at the mosque.

I don't really have any tips or tricks. Patience is the key to parenting and that patience will be tested, stretched to its absolute limits, but should never be broken. Oh, and never compare your children to other children. There is no right or wrong way to be a child.

I go back and forth when it comes to P.S.+mosque and straightup islamic school. I'm a working class muslim that lives in a ridiculously yuppie area. My masjid is controlled by "bearded engineers", you know the type. MashaAllah but that ain't me, lol.

For me the concerns re: schools were always about limiting the bad influence, normalizing islam for my kids, etc. because the school system here is objectively "good."

But yesterday at work I was talking to an older guy (non-muslim) with kids. He said the public schools here chock full of rich kids ($1mil+houses) will turn your kids against you. Your kids will be embarassed if you don't have a BMW or mercedes. They won't have friends over if you don't have a maid. Etc and etc. They'll want $1k of school supplies and clothes every year.

He said the school nurses here call DYFS if your kid has a bruise or their hair isn't "combed well enough." He said that this happened to him and even rich people too if the kids came to school with a smear of dirt on their chin.

Now I know that an islamic school is not perfect and there is still greed and classism - some islamic schools here cost the same as a college!! But I do think that if a kid was surrounded by Islam they would have more qana'ah (satisfaction) with the material goods. I also know that an islamic school or any private school is more respectful of the parents in all realms - whereas the state schools are, well, statist first and foremost.

Allahu alam I still have a couple years to think about this.

Most of my family is overseas and Saudi Arabia runs an english/arabic islamic highschool in our old country. It is cheap for an American… was already thinking of that down the road.

Allahu musta'an.

>>21673

Fortunately, that's not something I have to deal with. Everyone around here is poor. My reasoning for public school is so that the kids can learn to socialize with non-Muslims, which is pretty important in the US.

It also gives them the opportunity to bring non-Muslim classmates to the mosque and increase dawah.

I'm gonna get this when my kid is four inshaAllah.

>>21697

Spoken like a true bachelor.

not that you're wrong

>>21697

other than perhaps Evola, none of those men were lovers of God or even seekers of God, but sought their own glory and earthly repute and loved their will-power above all.

And they don't apply to OP's question about what is good for small children.

I wouldn't call myself a Muslim, so I apologize deeply if I'm intruding, just wanted to give my two cents. I think that expressing yourself creatively or learning useful skills is very positive for children, so I would recommend starting them on writing, learning another language, drawing, singing etc. while they're still young, when they absorb information more easily. Also, diet is imporant for children. Too many people have grown up with an 'eat everything on your plate' mentality. I think we need to make sure that our children do not overeat and develop poor eating habits. Let them stop eating when they're full, food isn't that expensive, and encourage them to eat more slowly, and smaller portions.

>>21756

>>21756

Very good points. Thank you for your suggestions. Especially the language suggestion. We started with English, Arabic, and French from day one. I wonder what language her first word will be :P

>>22586

Don't run away from your parents man, enjoy the fruit which Allah has given you.

>>22589

Dude, go to the masjid or something man.

>>22593

What do you mean you go to masjid during the holidays? Salaatul Eid is usually prayed outside, not in a masjid. Are you larping as a muslim?

And you owe fidelity and obedience to your parents. You can't just ignore the people Allah chose to be your family. You have obligations to them and punishment if you neglect them - in this life and in the next.

>>22593

And what the hell are you doing with wizard memes when you're just a tween? Wizards are 30+.

>>22593

>I go to masjid during the holidays

Uh … what … Christmas and Easter? I think you just blew your cover.

>>22593

>you go to masjid during the holidays

What exactly do you mean? Are you so busy during the time you go to college that you can't go to the masjid?

>>22595

Btw I'm not a tween, what made you think I was?

>>22607

I think you need to get off /r9k/ and come hang out on a superior board with your brothers in Islam.

>>22586

If you have to, I'd recommend running away and starting a new life. Western civilization is obsessed with monitoring people, so make sure to create a new identity, protect your identity, (wear sunglasses, hat, etc.) and acquire jobs to make money. The best way to make money without identifying yourself is to do small errands for other people. For example, you can wash windows, mow lawns, wash dishes, and pick crops.

By the way, buy a flash drive and download Linux on it as soon as you can.

YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP AS AS A FATALITY ON THE FBI WATCHLIST LIKE THE VICTIMS OF:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaser_Abdel_Said

>>22586

>Don't try to stop them fapping as teenagers

Looking back, it's probably for the best if your kids don't, kiddo.

Don't force it on your kid, but encourage to do anything else, he or she would be better off without jacking off, then having a masturbate addiction.

>>22904

Teenagers that are touching themselves have to get married, ASAP. Totally doable with parental love and support.

>>22905

>Teenagers that are touching themselves have to get married

No, what are you talk about. Let him or her find there love mate, there no reason to do that, but to make sure to have sex after marriage, just in case if the relationship goes down in the toilet, your child or child's partner gets pregnant after when they broken there relationship, and etc; let you child get married when he/she is old enough and ready.

Do not force anything, but try to avoided it.

It's just, more /nofap/, the better in my opinion.

>>22911

Are you a muslim?

>No, what are you talk about. Let him or her find there love mate

We don't believe in love before marriage in Islam.

>let you child get married when he/she is old enough and ready.

You're never a certain age and then suddenly ready for marriage. Have you ever been married? Marriage is better when you're younger and with a supportive family you can go to university and have a wife too.

>Do not force anything, but try to avoided it.

It's just, more /nofap/, the better in my opinion.

Early marriage is always an option and it has been the norm of humanity until babyboomers.

>>22912

>We don't believe in love before marriage in Islam.

Again, what are you saying, i'm not saying that, i not talking about sex; i am talking about finding the best mach for love and marriage, let him/her grow up and find his/her mate, for force is just force, that doesn't mean they will have 100% amazing relationship in there lives, both partners need to find and explore (and, no i don't mean f*cking ) for there love. Have 2% more faith in your kid and tell him or her you don't need to have sex in life (and it's ok if you don't); with kids and others who knows, but at least try leading them to better future together.

Also good, i was recommending that in the last post.

but to make sure to have sex after marriage

It's right there.

>Marriage is better when you're younger and with a supportive family you can go to university and have a wife too.

You no clue, you can just take university when older as well, and hell, you university would be a bad idea when getting having kido sine you need to take your time with the kids you have and rise, it will be even more hell (at least a little bit) in the usa, all you get is more work while stress out with your kid, have a child when your older and wiser to rise and tech your child, also it would even better to have a child when you're financially stable, if you can.

>Early marriage

If you want a kiddo when you're older after college while having a stable job for your family then yeah it could be a good time if you want to, but i recommend to do it, when you're older and have more experience in life.

>You no clue, you can just take university

u have no cules*

just take a university when you're older as well*

going to a university would be a bad idea when getting having a kiddo, sine you need to take your time with the kids you have and rise them*

work while stressing out*

ave a child when you are older and wiser to rise and tech your child, also it would even better to have a child when you're financially stable, if you can.*

>>22904

I agree with you, I wouldn't encourage it either but I'm not gonna act like it's haram.

>>22632

Don't worry, I have the opsec thing down pretty hardcore (I'm a programmer), thanks for the advice though, I've also been trying to get myself physically and mentally strong enough to brave anything I might face if I am briefly homeless.

>>22972

We go through periods of up and down. Short bursts of discussion here and there. Of course, with the new Overboard in place new people will come to /islam/. Some seeking truth, others to troll.

But, like any board, it's what we make it. It's just that the difference between us and other "religious" boards is that we don't LARP and we don't permit LARPing. We are a genuine Muslim board for genuine Muslim discussion, so we're not inundated with "tfw no gf" junk or comparative religion studies.

>>22943

>There is no "exploring" with "love mates" in Islam.

4u

Well that's sad, some people need love sometimes and marriage with your love one can help.

>>23036

was it the 4u part.

>>25270

Qisas al Anbiyat from MBC 3 is good.

>>25270

I was thinking of maybe a book or something, that is more for young adults. Something that deals with the unique problems teenagers can have from an Islamic perspective.

I didn’t convert to Islam until I was an adult, and now I have a completely different perspective. Looking back at myself and my actions, I was a complete kafir idiot during my younger years. I am planning on marrying a women coming from an Islamic country Insha Allah. She is divorced and has a son that is 10. His father does not want to have contact with him, and he doesn’t have a man in her family to be a father figure at the moment. We were planning on having her son stay and finish his schooling in her home country with her family, to avoid the negative influences that come with public education in Western countries.

>>25282

There are lots of good islamic books for young adults, checkout dar us salaam publications.

That is a tough situation, bro. Perhaps enroll the boy in an Islamic school in your country (US?). Or I guess ask him what he wants to do. You're not financially responsible for someone elses kid but he's a muslim brother still and anything you spend for him is sadaqah. If your wife worked part time that would probs more than cover his private islamic schooling.

If the boy wants to stay in home country then make sure you visit him with his mom or he visits you as often as possible.

>>25283

Thanks, I will check it out Insha Allah.

As for enrolling him in an Islamic school in the US, that isn’t possible because of the location. I live in a very remote rural area that is far away from major cities. It is good to be away from all of the degeneracy, but it is also very far away from other Muslims. I am the only Muslim I know of in a hundred miles. I go to a Jumuah that is a little over a 2 hour drive from my house when I can get time from work. I was introduced to the sister I am planning to marry by a friend I made up there.

>>25285

Even if you stay in the USA if you move close to a muslim community - or even just a mosque - that would count as a hijrah for you. You should move closer to muslims as soon as you can.

>>25288

There isn’t a mosque for hundreds of miles, the Jumuah that I attend is held in a place that has to be rented out every Friday.

My family owns land. We have a farm and I can earn a completely halal income from this. To try and sell everything that I have, to move somewhere else just to be closer to other Muslims is not feasible. There is little to no chance that I would be able to get such a halal source of income in a city in the United States. I would be taking myself from a place where I can easily support a family for years to a place where I would have great uncertainty and poverty.

The purpose of hijrah is to go from a place where you are unable to practice your religion (or it is very difficult based upon the surrounding conditions) to a place where it is easier. Any kind of city, even in an Islamic country, is nowhere near as healthy of an environment as it is here. I don’t ever see gay or trans people. I don’t ever see women in states of undress. I can easily practice my religion here. The majority of people in the surrounding area are Christians, but there are still much higher standards of decency in sparsely populated, rural areas in the United States. Ideas like feminism and the LGBTQ movement are generally not accepted here, although in the closest city (pop of about 110k) the negative influences are starting to spread. Unless you have been to these areas, it might be difficult for you to imagine what it is like.

>>21671

Is it OK that i want to fap to this?

>>25375

No. It isn't. Get help.

>>21671

My wife and I chose to put our kids in an Islamic school, while a bit expensive its 100% worth it. Anyone who's gone to a public school in the West knows how degenerate they are.

>>21750

That's definitely true for Napoleon and Nietzche. I disagree about it for Hitler though, if you read some of what he's written I think it's clear God was important to him, as much as for the average Christian anyway.

>>25375

Do you really have to ask?

>>22607

>I hang out on /r9k/

You are giving us a bad name, newcancer. Go back to cuckchan where you belong.

>>26280

Napoleon and Nietzsche were pro-sharia.

>>26282

/r9k/ should convert to Islam.

>>26282

We don't do the "go back to X" meme. Everyone is welcome here provided they follow the rules.

Throw out the electric kuffar

bump

First time father here. Blessed with a baby girl Alhamdulilah.