>>84849
I used to listen to the Goddess Ꮆ尺卂匚丨乇 files nightly as I slept, and it was a major part of me sucking another guy's dick. It was during a long period of chastity and self-imposed denial, where I had set humiliating, degrading, and painful tasks for myself in order to earn orgasm.
I made sure to keep myself desperate to cum with repeated gooning, edging, mantras, hypnosis, and pornography. When I wasn't gooning or edging, I would be locked in chastity.
The more humiliating/degrading/extreme the task, the easier things would become for me. If I had an orgasm without earning one, I would face a severe punishment, and many of the things that I had earned would be reset. It was extremely frustrating, and ultimately took me just over 8 months to "complete" the program.
During this time, there were many times when I was so desperate to complete the program, I would find myself performing tasks that were not enjoyable and very much outside of my comfort zone Many of the tasks that were hard limits when I set the program up were things that I decided to do out of pure desperation.
One of the Goddess Ꮆ尺卂匚丨乇 files brought me through a fantasy of giving a blowjob to another man. I enjoyed the fantasy so much and I ended up having an unintentional and unearned orgasm during my chastity/penis cleaning the following morning. If I chose a standard punishment for this unearned orgasm, it would have cost me 4 months of progress, but if I performed a larger punishment from my list of hard limit punishments, it would only cost me 2 months. One of the things on that list was to give another man an orgasm with my mouth. I debated it for the entire day, but re-listened to some Goddess Ꮆ尺卂匚丨乇 to help encourage me to go through with it. The next morning, I made a post on Fetlife and received about 30 responses. I told them all what I was doing to make sure they were okay with a guy that absolutely did not pass as trans showing up in a french maid's uniform and in chastity. I made it clear that I wanted to walk into the room, put a condom on him, suck him off, say "thank you, daddy" after he came, and immediately leave. I didn't want to know anything about the man, nor did I want to see his face or have any further contact afterward. In fact, I requested that he block me on Fetlife during the blowjob and promise to never contact me again in order to make it more humiliating for me. Out of the 30 responses I got, 5 of them agreed to help fulfill this punishment, but only one could meet up with me that evening. So, he is the one who got the blowjob.
I did not enjoy one second of walking into the hotel wearing what I was wearing, nor did I enjoy sucking his dick or feeling his cum fill up the condom. I did not enjoy the knowledge that he lives in my local area, and I don't know who he is. So any guy I have contact with in my day-to-day life could be a guy I gave a blowjob to. He could recognize me, but I wouldn't recognize him.
So yea, Goddess Ꮆ尺卂匚丨乇 files, along with a very detailed game of orgasm denial were both key factors in making me decide to give a man a blowjob so that I would not lose 2 additional months of progress.
Although I did many other extreme and degrading things during that 8 month period, this was likely the most degrading. All because I got taken extremely deep by one of her fantasy files after months of listening.
