/girltalk/ - Girl Talk

>>5240

Go to >>4765 and you'll see OP being a totally cringy omega-faggot. It's probably the most autistic and desperate shit I've seen this year.

>Fellow males: Please chime in if you have any cringy stories as well, but let's keep this from being a thread about, "Girls not understanding the subtle art of the 'tism" when it reality it is (You) who are the problem.

Thanks for reminding me. Now i remember when i was still pretty young, around 16yr hanging out in my house with somebody like my semi-gf hard to describe but that besides the point, so we are both pretty drunk, she is laying hear head on my chest and we are both lying on my bed. Then i start my autistic tirade about the wonders of national socialism and how jews control the world. Fun stuff tbh, thankfully she didnt gave much of a shit.

>>5277

>>5279

>>5285

>>5296

>Overall theme of rich psychopath who now thinks you owe him something for money paid

SG, you might want to get your number changed.

>>5240

>Fellow males: Please chime in if you have any cringy stories as well

I have sooooo many stories. And I wasn't diagnosed with high-functioning spergism until I was 39, so I really never had a fucking chance back in school.

Let's see now…

>age 13ish

>first crush on a new girl in class

>didn't even realize I was in love for the first three days, thought I was sick

>realization finally sets in

>that fucking owl from Bambi laughing his ass off at me in my head

>Oh shit, now what?

>turns out nothing

>months go by

>I'm dying, but I have no idea how to approach her as my few friends are even worse off than me and this was pre-internet

>fall back on what I know and tease the ever-loving shit out of her

>manage to earn her wrath on more than a few occasions

>every punch to the arm is like the sweetest kiss

>better than nothing

>4 months later

>a rumor circulates that she and I are dating

>foolishly hope that some sort of meme-magic will happen and the rumor will get passed around long enough that she sees that it's a good idea

>as I said, undiagnosed

>one day, she approaches with two of her friends (one of which I still suspect was the catty rumor-monger)

>heart in stomach

>IT'SHAPPENING.ronpaul

>"I want to talk to you!"

>She angry. Oh fuck.

>"How can I help you?"

>momentary moment of confusion until she resumes anger and says "I don't like you! I like [some douche]!" And he really was a douchebag. It's not sour grapes, this guy was just a colossal prick.

>"I can respect that."

>"You respect me?!"

>"Uh, no, I respect your position."

>Loquacious little shit, right? Looking back, a high vocab did me no favors.

>"Oh. Anyway, I don't like you."

>"Okay?"

>>5312

Man, it was really nice, too (if I do say so myself). It's going to be the tl;dr version, I'm afraid.

>I was hurt and very disappointed. I didn't know what I'd done to receive that, but it hurt like hell. I think I kept a poker face from shock

>These days, I now understand what happened, and I don't blame her. She was just a kid, too, and she came up with a plan to squash the rumor. It meant hurting me in front of witnesses, so she did what she had to do. We don't realize it at the time, but teenagers are selfish, almost sociopathic animals in some ways. We do things and don't think about the consequences to anyone but ourselves

>I eventually got over her, but for two years she was the only girl I noticed

25 years later…

>get a message on faceberg (this was just prior to 2010, when I realized what Fuckerberg was up to and got the hell off of it)

>it was her

>she was as beautiful as ever, but now she was a MILF of epic proportions

>asked me how I was doing, what job I had, blah blah blah

>Inner Child and Common Sense had a bit of a rumble, but Inner Child had more energy

>Sent her a private message that she was my first crush, and that I'd always wanted to tell her that. That's it, no offers of dating (I'm married and I take my vows seriously) or meeting for coffee or whatever. I just needed to tell her that to cancel out at least ONE regret in my life

>She sent back that she always loved watching me run from the girl's side of gym class because I "had a great ass"

>Inner Child nearly broke his neck doing backflips while Common Sense just sat there, stunned

>We talked back and forth for a couple of days, then we just went on with our lives

>That was fine by me

Epilogue:

>Bored one day so I surfed her facebook page to see if she'd posted any more bikini pics

>I'm married, not a corpse

>idly read some of her past posts

>mfw I dodged more bullets than Neo

>the lady has more issues than National Geographic

The girl she was, however, still occupies a small corner of my heart. You never forget your first love.

>>5306

>Its dandy. That was eons ago. Who knows where is he.

>>5279

>He still texts me to this day.

You know him better than I, but if you were my daughter, me and the boys would already be having a man-to-worm chat with him.

>>5314

That chat was in discord but still. (Kinda my fault giving him my discord that time, but I really needed some money. He sent it, I talked with him for a bit, and then deleted him out fo the blue)

He's an armless twerp, nothing to worry about.

>>5311

>>5313

She has issues, but maybe your little autist you could have changed her? Food for thought.

This could make a great comic, it was interesting. I think she maybe liked you too. For some reason, plenty of girls like the guys who bully them. I never got bullied in school so I wouldn't know, I was basically invisible.

>I'm married, not a corpse

Top kako. Does she do a good job? I can't deny I would be real angry if my husbad looked at other girls in bikini. That's why you gotta keep them engaged and not take them for granted.

And now I am debating wether I should allow people to delete their own posts or not.

>>5315

>He's an armless twerp, nothing to worry about.

How does he type? With his feet?

>She has issues, but maybe your little autist you could have changed her?

1. Her dad was a part of it

2. If my wife is anything to go by, I would have just given that gal MORE baggage to handle.

>plenty of girls like the guys who bully them.

Whoa. Hold 'er, newt. I didn't bully her. I was just a pain in the ass trying to get bad attention because I couldn't believe I'd get any good. The most damaging I ever got was I pitched a small chunk of pink eraser at her after she called me a "retard." She threw it back. I returned fire. It went on for an hour while we were supposed to be watching a movie in class.

>This could make a great comic,

If you make one, don't worry about me looking for money, but I'd be obliged if you'd put "For Vanessa" somewhere in there.

>Does she do a good job?

No.

>I can't deny I would be real angry if my husbad looked at other girls in bikini.

She claims she wouldn't care. She and my sister-in-law keep babbling about hunky Hollywood men, which annoys me to no end, but my brother's no help because he does the same thing with actresses. So his wife gets pissed and drags mine along with her in revenge. Meanwhile, I've done nothing. I keep my attractions to myself.

>That's why you gotta keep them engaged and not take them for granted.

>mfw

Here's the problem: we have, by definition, a sexless marriage (less than ten times a year). She's got a low drive, and I've got (or had, until my 40s) a high one. I've only ever been with her. It's been a frustrating 22 years and I'd be lying if I said I don't resent it, sometimes. But I do love her, so now I'm just running out the clock until the sweet release of death in 20-35 years.

>And now I am debating wether I should allow people to delete their own posts or not.

If you're referring to my screw-up, I didn't delete a post. I just messed up and copied the wrong section after deleting enough text for the post to go through.

>>5322

>How does he type? With his feet?

When one little word makes all the difference. God damn it.

> I was just a pain in the ass trying to get bad attention because I couldn't believe I'd get any good.

Top Capuletto. Then low-tier bullying. It fits in, it fits in good.

>If you make one, don't worry about me looking for money, but I'd be obliged if you'd put "For Vanessa" somewhere in there.

it's OK. It will most likely end in my idea of forgotten comics, akin to my Neopets comics. Pic related.

>Dat marriage

Top koopa, m8. On the bright side, sex isn't everything in a marriage, specially after so many years.

What is a walking mummy like you doing here tho. Shouldn't you be eating porridge and playing cricket?

>If you're referring to my screw-up, I didn't delete a post. I just messed up and copied the wrong section after deleting enough text for the post to go through.

I know you didn't delete any posts, because people cannot delete their own posts here.

>>5324

>Then low-tier bullying.

She beat me like a prison bitch and I never hit her back and I'M the bully?

>On the bright side, sex isn't everything in a marriage, specially after so many years.

It's not nothing, either. But I've finally hit the stage in my life where it's getting to be more trouble than it's worth, which is a bit of a relief.

>What is a walking mummy like you doing here tho. Shouldn't you be eating porridge and playing cricket?

Came here looking for some cheap trolling kicks, found it to be comfy, instead, and decided to hang around. Also, I'm pretty sure old guys will die if they try to play cricket. I know I would, anyway.

>my Neopets comics

I've seen a lot worse, and those are cute. If you've got a bunch you should post them in a thread. The warthog in the dress…I think there's one of those from McDonald's sitting in our toy room. Only it's naked.

>>5329

>She beat me like a prison bitch and I never hit her back and I'M the bully?

A bad and lame bully at that.

> I'm pretty sure old guys will die if they try to play cricket. I know I would, anyway.

Don't they always play cricket or am I mistaking it.

Also that warthog is a Moehog. Coming from the words moe (a way of saying cute in Japan), hog and mohawk.

>>5333

>A bad and lame bully at that.

I'd burn this place to the ground for that, but I can't argue with those trips.

>Don't they always play cricket or am I mistaking it.

Maybe in India. Around here, they golf or lawn bowl or gather together and talk about how kids don't respect their elders, anymore.

>Also that warthog is a Moehog.

Yep, that's it. Yeah, I think we've got one in red and one in powder blue. Unless the wife threw them out. I'm not sure my daughter would let her, though.

>>5364

That aint' so bad, anon. I had a girl like that too, kind of. We met while camping, and both of our parents coordinated camping trips so that we could play with each other (this is from ages like 10 to 13 as well, I was a late bloomer, sexually)

Anyway, I just remember the last time I saw her we all went to a water park and as the sun began to set, we were heading back to the parking lot. She said goodbye, and extended her arms out for a hug

…and once I saw her start lifting her hands, I reflexively held mine out for a handshake.

She frowned, gave me one of those very exaggerated handshakes where you're using your shoulder and elbow more than you're using your wrist, "Well, that was weird…" I remember thinking, and that was the last time I saw her. Emily, I am sorry.

>implying Higgins is an autist

I'd suck Higgins dick, no homo.

Ladies don't know a freedom fighter when they see one.

If you don't get wet thinking about pic related, your vagina is doomed to be dormant for all time.

>>5240

Buckle up, it's long.

I was the worst kind. I actually got approached by girls, growing up , and in hindsight it's obvious that they either had a crush on me, or thought I was attractive.

But every time I fucked it up. Can't believe how clueless I was.

Though there are legit reasons for why I fucked it up, and they're, "unpleasant" to say the least.

Anyway, some of the better examples:

>seriously thought leaving a note on a girl's desk would get her to like me

>seriously thought playing footsie with a girl would do the same

>one time when a girl complimented my hat and said she wanted it, I said she could have if she dated me

>tried putting my arm around a girl, and she recoiled, and I tried again

>got on my knee, hand over heart, and asked a girl to homecoming

>walked into the classroom of a girl I liked, pointed at her until I got her attention, and literally just held up a sign that said "YOU'RE PRETTY" and then ran out when she rea

I think also one time I had flowers ready for a girl, but when I realized she was taken I pretended they were for my teacher, and gave them to her instead.

This is in spite of times when girls have:

<spent a literal half hour, sitting on the couch, with me on the floor in between her legs, both of us watching TV, as she plays with my hair

<spent

<formed a gaggle of girls around me, asking me questions, and saying things like "he reminds me of a lost puppy"

<went out of their way to sit down next to me, when I tried being alone

<singled me out randomly, on the first day of a course, and said "hey you, over here, sit here." Pointing to the seat next to them.

and the epitome of it all

<flat out asked me to be their boyfriend

To this day the ease at which I've had women warm up to me is still baffling. One such example being like, back when I was an uber sperg in highschool, one of the "popular girls" was enamoured with me, sat near me, and when she saw I had a triforce sharpied on my left hand, asked me to do the same to her and explain what each triangle meant.

That girl also went around showing her friends, pointing to each one and saying what it meant, and her friends kept trying to get me to go out with her.

That being said, I at least know why I was the one pushing them away. And I don't blame any of them for any bad times I went through as a result of our interactions.

TL;DR: You can sum up my interactions with girls as

>"Anon! I think you're cute!"

>I shit my pants and run away

>>5745

Kek I know how you feel man.

>back in highschool

>mega autistic about existential theories and philosophy at the time

>be in class

>zoning out all the time

>always lost thinking about the 2deep4me stuff

>be walking in halls between classes

>zoned out and on auto pilot mode while walking

>girl from class tries starting a conversation as I walk by her

>give her a 1 word response and continue walking/thinking about 2deep4me

>still cringe when I think back to that moment

>be days/weeks later

>same girl is with group of (girl) friends

>giggling and whispering to each other as I get closer

>they try to stop me as I'm walking

>this was after bell rang hordes of people were lurking around halls

>assume they were talking to someone else

>completely ignore them and walk around

>spoiler she never tried talking to me again

The next story is about a totally different semester and different gril

>see one girl on the way to class (between classes) often

>we end up chatting some times

>be late for class

>see girl standing in hall talking to her friends (gurls)

>without thinking, grab her hand and say we're late for class

>her friends hooting/giggling/etc as I escort her to class

>clearly blushing and receptive to this alpha move I just pulled

>afterwards I get freaked out over it

>start avoiding her

>cringe when I think back at it

This post is long enough but there were plenty of more autistic moments like these. Those girls probably felt rejected and I feel bad for it. I'm sorry

>>6352

>Anon starts small talking with some girl

>without thinking, grab her hand and say we're late for class

Holy shit, dude. That's not autism, that's like one of my japanese animes.

I guess to add back to the thread at hand, and my original post.

Found out from my family yesterday, that there's a girl bartender at this one place my father goes a lot, who asks him every time where I am.

She saw me once, and I didn't even talk to her. I told them to give her my number, but have no idea where the fuck it'll go from there, and already likely have no interest.

>have a touch of the tisms

>be in middle school

>super fucking lonely

>find this internet dating site for teenagers called Espinthebottle

>meet girl

>we get super fucking into each other

>on the phone with each other from morning to night

>we get so obssessed with each other parents step in and make us not able to talk to each other

>feel about 10 times worse because now lonely and massive void where she was

>suddenly started asking out pretty much any female I was acquainted with

>went up to girls I didnt know between classes and during PE to ask if they were single

I die a little on the inside every time I remember it

When I was a teenager I had pretty low self esteem, I found it hard to believe any girl would find me attractive. Every time a girl flirted with me I wouldn't notice it until well after the fact, and I have stories of instances where girls literally threw themselves at me, but I was oblivious, sometimes until I told the story to someone else who would point out what I was oblivious to.

The time I most regret though came the last year before high school. There was this perky goth chick, Carla. She had short hair, a petite figure, and wore all black with feather boas to school. She tried to flirt with me very overtly for months, and I'd just freeze up and push her away because I had such a huge crush on her I didn't know how to process her actions. I regret it because she must have felt pretty rejected.

The first day of school she said it was "torture" we only had two classes together and asked to see my eyes. I stared vacantly into space trying to look cool as sweat dripped from my forehead.

I remember talking about FF7 with my friends, we had the strategy guide. She joined the conversation, commented we all probably liked Tifa, but then pointed out she looked a lot like Yuffie. I just sat there silently and stared at her. She'd sit in front of me in class. One day I was wearing this snazzy red buttoned up shirt with these sorta hooks on the shoulders. She turned around and hung her hand off one of my hooks and stared longingly into my eyes. I stared at her and felt all the blood run cold in my body. Fuck, why's she doing that? What do I say? Stay cool, stay cool. Unemotional. Just.. ask her why she's doing that. Yeah.

So I tried to sound unemotional but ended up sounding condescendingly annoyed and said to her plainly "Is there a reason you're doing that?" She let go and the flirting stopped. I didn't realize it until the following summer.

I tried looking her up to reach out to her and apologize, but I only found her friend. Her friend told me she had a serious boyfriend now who was very good for her and she didn't want me fucking that up and so refused to give me contact information for her.

>be me in HS

>have foot fetish

>one of the "pretty girls" from my class walks up to me out of the blue and just asks me if I do

>instead of just faking it and saying no, I spaghetti'd and asked her how she found out

>said she just guessed

>start worrying about where she got that information

>check my online shit to make sure my history didn't show up or some shit (didn't know how stuff like that worked)

>nothing

>freaking out the rest of the day, worried that my entire reputation with the teachers and staff would be forever tarnished

>question one of my classmates

>he told her about it

>he somehow knew, too

>never revealed how

Literally just remembered this shit.

>>5240

it's not really and autistic story, but here we go:

>be a lonely virgin at the age of 22

>tries to go /fit/ but end up failling due to nerve problem

>tries to act confident around girls

>Never fucking works

>Notice how beta I actually am

>Realize that I have small stuttering problem due to my beta behavior and childhood sexual abuse

>Start to socialize casually, not trying to find a girl

>Stuttering starts to go away

>Ends ups meeting a nice 9/10 that is kinda autistic

>Ask her out

>She rejects my offer :I saying that she got ditched a couple of weeks ago and wants to wait until she is "emotionally healed up"

>Realize that she is bullshiting you

>Can't stop thinking about her

>While I try to socialize I end up joining a mma class and hit the gym again;

>Training is going fine, but still can't stop thinking abou her;

>Get constantly approached by single moms and fucked up used girls that only want to manipulate me

>One day this 40 something women approaches me in the MMA gym

> Realize that she just another single mom that is trying to hit on me

>Notice how similar she is to the girl that rejected me

>Starts to shout at her for no reason and ends up arguing with the woman.

>She slaps me

>Autistic MMA mode activated*

>Ends up beating her way more than I should have.

>Turns out she has a bf….

>mfw I ended up beating her bf when he arrived at the gym.(btw, he was drunk, so my victory wansn't all that impressive)

>Gets kicked out of the MMA gym

>Goes Women to play some Witcher 3

>A small tear of sadness comes out of my face when I realize that Keira Metz is really similar to that girl.

And yeah, I'm still alone after 2 years, at least I don't have problems with the nerves in my arms anymore.

>In elementary school

>Probably 3rd or 4th grade

>Want some girl to like me, not sure why since I didn't even really think she was cute, she was really tall and kinda butch

>Me being the absolute genius that I am decide that the best way to achieve that is by running around and humping inanimate objects

>Trees, buildings, the ground, etc.

>Clearly she'll find this hilarious and be instantly smitten

>I mean, who wouldn't?

From that day forward, she stopped talking to me, except to disgustedly call me a pervert and "humpy" or something like that whenever I tried talking to her. She couldn't even stand to be near me. That was about the most autistic girl-related thing I've ever done, but it is still but a small drop of aspergers into the great sea of autism that has been my life.

>Be huge autist (in case you hadn't figured that out yet) with ridiculously low self-esteem all throughout grade school

>Like if self-esteem was measured on a scale from 1 to 10, mine would have been a negative number

>The idea of anyone being interested in me in any way was so bizarre it never even crossed my mind

>Got really bad after starting middle school

>Didn't even have any friends, sat alone all the time wallowing in self-pity

>Almost "crawling in my skin" tier

>All these girls would always come and sit next to me at lunch and talk to me, usually in groups of 2-4

>Didn't know what the fuck they wanted, but figured they probably came to laugh at me or trick me into thinking they're my friends so they could pull a prank on me or something

>Give all their questions short, generic one-word answers or as close as I can manage, fold my arms and lay my head on the table and avoid eye contact like a giant autist until they give up and go away

>Some of them were really persistent and would keep trying for weeks, but I didn't budge

>This kind of thing continued up until high school when I still couldn't tell why girls whose names I didn't even know would suddenly start talking to me and being really nice to me

>One girl's friend even told me straight up one day that her friend wanted to date me, she was almost as confused as I was

>Even then I somehow managed to rationalize that she was probably joking and basically just pretended the conversation never happened, nothing more came of it

>All these years later and only recently have some gears in my head started turning

What do you girls think, is it just wishful thinking on my part or was I even denser then than I am now? Did they want the dick or did they just feel bad for what they probably assumed was a lonely special ed kid? I can't imagine the sight of some sad, friendless, mopey faggot getting the pussy juices flowing, but women are an enigma.

The girl who got her friend to ask me out probably actually was interested in me, but to be honest, she wasn't very good looking herself and was kind of a "lolsorandumb" spaz, so she was probably aiming low to protect her self-esteem or something. I can't even fucking imagine how it must feel to aim about as low as you possibly can and still get blown off though, kek.

I only vaguely remember this due to a combination of time passing and my psyche probably suppressing it.

>5th or 6th grade or some shit

>absolutely in love with this one girl

She was pretty and was friendly towards me, cut me some slack

>I played with her and her friends in recess and stuff

>my memory is fuzzy, but I recall her saying something (could've been anything, really) about the two of us being friends.

>in my mind friends==boyfriend and girlfriend

>so once I had this retarded misunderstanding, what was the next step?

>Tell fucking everyone about it

I actually only told one guy I thought was my friend, but he immediately informed fucking everyone.

>next day my crush and one of her friends come up to me and asks me "Anon, did you tell the entire school I'm your girlfriend??"

>I don't remember what I answered, but I do remember it was some grade A autistic shit.

>probably something along the lines of "m-maybe..?"

>I don't think she said anything after that, we just sort of never talked again.

>she moved to a different country around 6th grade.

It's truly incredible how stuff I hardly remember make me cringe so fucking hard.

I'm not at all autistic (and if I am I'm probably so low on the spectrum it's not worth diagnosing), and I improved a lot from 12th-ish grade onward (I'm 21 now), but holy shit, I was the most awkward, socially retarded fuck.

After typing that shit so many more things are flooding back to me, good god.

If this thread is dear to anyone I'd be willing to share.

My biggest regret tbh was my first girlfriend. Not for dating her but for how i hurt her.

>be thirteen years old super horny. Fuck puberty but also want to find love more because ive always wanted to be a perfect husband and an even better father. Always have.

>meet neighbor girl at swimming pook

>ask her out

>super excited

> we hang out and start dating and hanging out at school

>date for a few months

>get really horny one day

>text her and… basically pressure her by saying lovey dovey shit and "nah itll be okay we will just so anal"

>go over. Shes wearing a black dress

>we talk a bit. She is super nervous and crying a bit.

>realize she doesnt want to do this.

>realize she is doing this for me because she wants me to like her etc.

>feel like the biggest piece of shit

>say "sorry. I should go."

>she says wait you promised me we would kiss before you know.

>give her a hasty kiss and leave worried that i might make a mistake and change my mind.

>go home. Kind of out of it for a bit. Start crying cus jm also a devot christian who almost did this shit and i had promised God id save myself for marriage

>she bulliea me for months after and spreads horrible rumors about me at school.

>i accept it.

>every day on bus for 4 months she flicks my earbuds out of my ear and the whole bus laughs as i get angry and tell her to stop.

>she tries again

>im looking out my window and i swing my arm to knock her hand away this time.

>hear screams.

>look up and aee people pointing at her.

>look at her and shes bleeding all over her project

>oh shit

>bus stops

> cops come

> suspended from school

>she moves away and im charged with assault

>mom forces me to work shoveling hirse shit from a stall for a week because i got suspended.

> come back and everybody treats me like the plague save for my two friends.

>settle it out of court by talking with girl and mother.

>girls smugly smiling.

>her mom asks why have you two come to hate her so much as you wanted to datw her only months ago.

>tell the truth that her daughter and i were going to have sex but i chose not to because she was crying and obviously didnt want to.

> girls eyes go wide with fear and her mother yells at her " younare not going to be pregnant at 14!" (Her mother was 28 at the time… do the math)

>mother drops charges and they move away.

>demonized by school and social outcast and given shit for it till mid year of freshman in high school

>>13608

>go home. Kind of out of it for a bit. Start crying cus jm also a devot christian who almost did this shit and i had promised God id save myself for marriage

Everything after this line gave me emotional whiplash….

>>11138

>All these girls would always come and sit next to me at lunch and talk to me, usually in groups of 2-4

I don't know this feel. Even now in college no matter where I sit there's always at least 2 rows of empty chairs in every direction. I don't smell bad either so my looks are probably elephant man tier.

>around 11 years old, on the playground

>an envoy is sent to me, I'm told to meet the girl I like near the jungle gym

>she's stood there with the biggest chad in the school

>he says to her 'you have to choose one of us'

>I run at extremely high speed in the opposite direction

Thanks childhood for making me incapable of intimacy. I ran the 100m for the school so I really was fast.

<16 years old, in cafeteria during lunch

<classmate and I start fighting in a friendly way, we're laughing

<I put him on his back on a table, my hand around his neck and his legs either side of me

<look to my right and there's a table of girls, all looking at us

<we immediately stop and leave

I went to a boys only secondary school so I guess that saved me from losing more spaghetti - then again, maybe that didn't help. The reason there were girls in the cafeteria is because the cafeteria was shared with the neighbouring girls school. I'm pretty much resigned to my KHV status forever now. I've hardly spoken to anyone other than my mother in four years (not that I talk to her much), I'm 20 now, and I don't think I've spoken to a girl beyond a few sentences in my whole life. Thankfully being dead inside means I'm not as anxious anymore.