/girltalk/ - Girl Talk

>>4688 (checked)

This is correct, but I will attempt to be a little more specific.

>>4686

I'm male, but I have input on this, because I have personal experience with this sort of thing, experience on what not to do:

First off: Open your ears to her first, before you expect hers to be open to you.

The stability of the relationship is first and foremost. Realize that this is just "extra" stuff that you want, not that you need, or that she is obligated to provide. Think hard - is there anything that she has told you, any hints at all that she has dropped over the years, say, while watching a romcom or something, "Oh, when I was little I used to dream about being carried in through the front door back to the bedroom…" ANYthing like that which you may be overlooking.

Secondly: Remember the #1 rule of relationships.

Communication. Are you communicating through sex in a healthy way currently? Mostly rhetorical question, but one that must be asked. Attempting, even just asking, for more without being ready and willing to give something more can be offensive and inconsiderate.

Think about it: Imagine if your gf was out of shape, and then one day she asked you out of the blue, "Hey, I have a fetish for really strong backs, do you think you could start working out for me?"

Where did your feelings, your lifestyle, your schedule enter the picture? She didn't communicate that she had ever considered them, and that's just rude. If she gets negative feedback from you after asking that question, it may close off her willingness to come forward about other desires she has in the future - not good! What would be much healthier/more cooperative would have been, "I'm thinking about starting to exercise to make myself more attractive to you. Would you like to exercise together? I have a fetish for strong backs." I'm sure you'd be much more receptive hearing something like that, so be the kind of partner you want to have.

Third: This brings to Rule #2, compromise.

If she has a request of you, you'd better be willing to do it.

>>4692

Considering she is far from girly, she could think it's some kind of implicit message.

"Damn, he wants me to be girlier/thinks I am not girly enough"

You never really know what's inside anyone's head.

M8 just bring out some alcohol, slowly direct talk to a topic of fetishes and then just tell her that you have fetish for high heels

How is it even an issue?

>>4717

I am just saying… She might be one of the problematic kind of girls.

I might be assuming, but maybe she feels comfortable with his boyfriend because she can act like she pleases with him. But she might feel uncomfortable if he asks such a question out of the blue.

The best option, in my opinion, is discussing it at the right moment.

Gotta be blunt tho: If OP needs help with such a topic, then he clearly cannot handle the "communication" deal pretty well, am I rite?

>>4717

>you need to communicate

>"that's why you shouldn't think about what you say first, you should just say it, maybe start an argument, then clear things up later!"

>"If it makes you uncomfortable, then that's the end of it"

>im-fucking-plying when you say something is "over" that it's completely over for the woman and out of her mind forever

If you tell your girlfriend "I'm sexually attracted to x" and she doesn't feel comfortable with "x" Every time you look at a girl who is wearing "x" she will remember what you said

>>4721

>Gotta be blunt tho: If OP needs help with such a topic, then he clearly cannot handle the "communication" deal pretty well, am I rite?

True, but hopefully he learns something.

>>4721

Whoops. My bad. I thought I was talking to OP.

>The best option, in my opinion, is discussing it at the right moment.

True, but I think part of OP's problem is that he doesn't know when the right moment should be.

>Gotta be blunt tho: If OP needs help with such a topic, then he clearly cannot handle the "communication" deal pretty well, am I rite?

Sperglords and Spergladies run amok on 8chan me too so it's really not surprising. People like us are meant for interfacing with computers in preparation for the coming world where we will say farewell to the flesh and voyage through the infinite in our perfect robot bodies.

But I digress.

>>4725

>True, but I think part of OP's problem is that he doesn't know when the right moment should be.

Probably during foreplay, I think? He already says he and his girlfriend do it, so what better moment than in the intimacy of the bedroom.

>People like us are meant for interfacing with computers in preparation for the coming world where we will say farewell to the flesh and voyage through the infinite in our perfect robot bodies.

Me three, thanks.

>>4735

You read that, OP? We need your input now!

Also /pol/ is just a lot of really loud and very angry betas. Nothing more, nothing less.

>>4745

>>4741

No, that's /asmr/.

I like this board

>>4688

Do most girls get creeped out by fetishes or something?

I've had open talks about fetishes with my boyfriend.

>>4993

"Fetish" is usually a crude word with negtive connotations.

Me and otherd prefer "fixation" to something.

You may do some of these things already:

>Mention frequently when she puts in effort that you notice and appreciate it. Even if she's a tomboy, she probably puts in effort to look cute. Grooming takes time, even for tomboys, and it's nice to know that our efforts are not for nothing. Notice this and praise it (in a not weird way; just appreciate her body), while letting her know you find her beautiful and attractive no matter what she wears. Before you broach the heels thing, make sure she feels secure in you attraction to her.

>Ask her (more than once; this should be an open topic) about what she likes/wants. During one of these conversations, mention the heels thing. Unless you already talk about this sort of thing frequently, don't bring this up immediately. Offer to go shopping with her and buy her a pair. When she obliges you, make sure that she has a great time, so that she'll be comfortable doing it again. Make sure she doesn't always have to wear heels for sex, because that'll give her a complex.

When my boyfriend offers things I can do to be attractive just for him, I want to do those things. He doesn't care that nine times out of ten when I'm coming over just to spend time together and go to bed I wear jeans and a t-shirt and no makeup (I'd just have to take it off before I go to sleep). At the same time, when I do put in effort to wear a cute outfit, he notices and appreciates it. He notices cute panties. He notices silky smooth skin. These things matter to me. He mentions wearing things that I wouldn't personally buy for myself otherwise, and I do what I can to please him because I value his approval and want to look nice for him. He never makes me feel like I have to do these things.

>>5001

Did it work?

>>5867

Idk fam, women are pretty cryptic and you need a feels translator to understand.