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/f1/ - Formula One

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File: 1421921906894.jpg (39.14 KB,500x500,1:1,34532534.jpg)

a699c3 No.1095

>waiting at the finish line
>race is about to begin
>look at my rival/friend next to me
>*wink*
>they flip me off
>blow them a kiss
>we laugh like idiots
>look up for a second
>RED
>YELLOW
>GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>shift into gear in a rush
>my whole belt backshifts
>engine rattles from overvibration
>sends the whole piston heads into a resonance cascade
>exhaust coughs out as the cylinders overheat
>transmission violently backfires into autotragic rejection
>this all happens in a matter of seconds
>not a single driver has taken off from the finish line
>my tank cracks and the exhaust makes a huge FPFPFPFPPFARRRRPPHhHHhhhT noise
>reach down and pull the eject handle as hard as I can and shoot into the sky with a parachut and the whole focking thing just exploded
____________________________
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a699c3 No.1096

wat
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a699c3 No.1098

>>1095
>be me
>be sperg
>sitting on starting grid
>engines begin idling
>grid girls walk around with signs showing who goes where
>grid girl holding picture of my rival stares intently at me, piercing my helmet, and blows me a kiss
>NO WAY!! ELLIOT RODGERS warned me of these succubi!
>shift into gear
>stall
>frantically gesture to pit crew for restart
>restart, full throttle
>plow through grid girls
>car and helmet bathed in blood
>stop in pitlane
>cry while licking heart patterns on helmet
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a699c3 No.1099

> Be Me
> Jenson Button
> Lose race
> Actually got 2nd place
> At least I have fried chicken
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a699c3 No.1100

> Actually am Lewis Hamilton
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a699c3 No.1101

>>1100
>be fat
>be Alan Jones
>beat Carlos Reutemann at Las Vegas 1981 because hungry
>frank Williams holding pizza instead of checkered flag
>mfw
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a699c3 No.1103

File: 1421988980660.jpg (95.8 KB,630x446,315:223,Nate is cool.jpg)

>Be 56 year old man
>Nice weather today
>Decided to go out for a ride in my go-kart I stole from my nephew's birthday.
>MFW hes a half breed jew nigger. It helped because they blamed him for it.
>Driving down to school to pick up my 26 year old neckbeard son from his mother's house. A stroller attached to the back of my kart would drag him with me.
>Did I mention hes 350 pounds of special snowflake?
>MFW he is more autistic that an stuttering Finn.
>He thinks the stroller is a toilet, takes a massive dump in it.
>I turn into Micheal Brown, I think the pile of shit is an attractive negress.
>My Son turns into George-Zimmerman-Wilson-Dereck Junior. He notices that I have fallen in love with his fecal matter and says "Check mate… kid."
>OH SHIT THE SHITS A BOMB.JPG
>Everyone Dies, /pol/ masturbates.
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