I know how you feel OP. I know no reddit fag would believe me, but ive had countless girlfriends and they all sucked.
The thing is none of them stick around or really can offer me a trustworthy companion. That's not asking for too much. But society views men as lower than a work horse. They'd sooner take us out back and shoot us than the do key or camel with a broken leg.
It hit home for me literally. I've worked all my life to be a good son, a good boyfriend, friend, caring deeply about those around me. Trying to see the best in them. I am lucky to have some good friends who wanna see me happy and are very supportive. My parents are not one of those. I thought they were. I remember them always raiding me not to take shit from anyone, to put pride in myself before anything else, now they've just become cucks who go on and on about how orange man is bad while the world falls apart and they just say to suck it up. Suck it up working the soul crushing job, suck it up dying alone, suck it up not being able to know financial independence, suck it up not having the energy to even play some bullshit video game that's just a cash grab or shitpost online because some mod who probably fucks kods or atleast wants too is always up my ass about content, but meanwhile the feds have time to investigate trolls when we're not being reimbursed for these damn mods.
Law doesn't matter to these people
Life doesn't matter
Freedom doesn't matter
How could this be anything but hell? Every day that goes by I grow more distant from my family. Wanting to cling to they're good people, they raised me right, and always told me to believe in myself and my convictions.
That's not the people I see in my house. Its not even like some angst shit, it's legit disgust and sadness. I love my parents, but every day feels like I'm watching them die over and over again because these are not the people who raised me. These are some dumbass motherfuckers who just let everyone walk over them but meanwhile have time to command me, someone who actually cares about them, that I ain't shit, that I'm alone because I'm weird, that I get banned for being a jerk, that I don't have more out of life because I didn't work for it, while they sit there and rot while I do more and more work as their bodies literally cave to atrophy because they've become fucking lazy and stupid.
If they were the parents I remember they'd be the ones harassing my exes not me. "How dare you leave my boy?! He's a saint you fucking whore" and we'd all have a good laugh. But these totally different people inhabit their body. That's the loneliest feeling in the world.
No bitch could know that kind of loneliness. I wouldn't want her too. Noone deserves pain like that. Well, mods do.
I've lost everyone. But I take something from somewhere down the line I did have real parents who raised me to stand by what I believe in. It's all I have left. I don't wanna end up as pathetic and worthless as them. Which even hurts to say but it's true.
How would you even go about bringing that shit up to a woman or to anyone? You can't. And realistically a woman isn't going to make that go away. But you rebuild. That was the point of pair bonding. The parents, uncles, aunts, grannies die, you replace them with friends, with wives, with children, and you rebuild your soul.
This society doesn't let you do that. There is nothing more horrific than having to life a soulless life.
But hey, I'm the crazy one because I'm gonna make it my purpose to see to it mods or jailed or have to pay everyone back their lunch money. So crazy even my own parents think so.
Pic semi related because JoJo has some decent manly virtues for the doomer. Jotaro ironically I think is very disrespectful to his mother and doesn't realize now lucky he is, but he makes up for it in having a good grasp or right and wrong. That's how I was raised, that everyone has a moral standard or "stand" you could say. A redeeming quality that separates us from animals. It may not be yours, but it's something. And you'll know it when you see it.
I don't see that in too many these days. Especially not mods.