No.14055
If you get really deep into the black pill and you unearth certain facts about the psychology and philosophy regarding life and human civilization, is there any way to continue living as you have?
Is there any way to become normal, naive, and innocent again?
Is the only way to do this through denial and self-delusion?
Starting to think suicide is the true answer…
____________________________
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No.14056
>>14055
Don't know. Many of us are in the same boat. I wish I could be a normie and tell you things will get better, but I honestly don't know if they will. I can say however that you aren't alone, even if it feels like it. Maybe remember some sort of happy moment from your childhood. Even just one good memory, perhaps something you saw yourself doing in life. You could always try to make it happen. Goals are the only thing that keep us moving forward in life. I wish you the best anon
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No.14058
idk about your life but if you have people who care about you please don't end it all, it will be a horrible mindfuck for all of them.
existence is a nigger, yes, but the way i try to get on with it is by trying to reduce the pain in my life as much as i can.
exercise, not eating shit, avoiding porn, not doing drugs everyday. the bloomer stuff i know, but it helps to carry on the dread of being alive.
i dont read philosophy or things like that but you could say that this is the positive nihilist way, knowing everything is pointless at universal scale but doing what you can to reduce the hedonism that drags people to the bottom
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No.14063
>>14055
>is there any way to continue living as you have
Sure. As long as you have no emotional attachment to anything, it's a great time to be alive. Perhaps even the best time to be alive.
>>14055
>normal, naive, and innocent again
Innocence as the only unrecoverable loss is a long-standing trope, nothing has changed.
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No.14065
>>14055
problem with suicide is that it's not easy.
there is this illusion that it is, but if you start considering it really deep down, it doesn't come easy.
i've tried it once, but even after 10mins, god didn't let me to give up and brought me back in ER.
it appears that god wants you to keep playing no matter how fucked up and futile it all seems.
what you do in life echoes in eternity?
perhaps there are greater implications of these words.
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No.14071
>>14055
Yes, there actually is. It's classic boomer-esque "Shut the fuck up and keep walking". You will never be innocent, naive, normal, whatever you want to call it, but you definitely can keep walking even with this burden. The whitepill you need is that you are just a donkey who needs a carrot. If you have at least something, you can keep on going, if you don't, then you are out of luck but still you can keep on struggling. Suicide is just an option, not the ultimate answer.
tl;dr maybe becoming doomed boomer is inevitable, I'm scared of this, I feel very weird recently
>>14065
Sure, death is fucked up. When your life will get better, you can expect death will come, just because such is life.
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No.14364
OP here. I feel like I haven't elaborated as much as I could have in the OP, so I'm going to explain more about the blackpill I'm dealing with. I'm not sure if you're familiar with it or not, but I'll explain anyway:
Human civilization as we know it is nothing but an elaborate survival mechanism that distracts us from our knowledge that we are going to die. We are all animals that have been cursed with knowing about our own deaths. We go through life in denial of the fact that we're going to die, a denial which is fueled by distractions such as having a career, a family, and engaging in escapism.
Now I'm left wondering why I should bother doing anything if I'm going to die anyway. Life to me just seems very unfulfilling. The truth is that it is unfulfilling, and the only way for it not be is to enter denial-mode and go through life unconsciously (like the majority of people). But now that I know the truth, how can I go back to denial?
It seems to me that the only way to rebel against the routine life you are meant to follow, the only way to win, is by committing suicide. This is what I've concluded after brooding about this for quite some time. I'm not 100% sure if this is the right answer, but I think there's some sense in it.
What do you make of all this?
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No.14366
>>14364
>What do you make of all this?
The jews are responsible for the overwhelming amount of personal and mental suffering that every white man faces today. The jews want you to commit suicide, because they get off on making white people suffer. The best thing you can do is live on pure spite, and refuse to give the jews what they want. Constantly speak out about what they have done.
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No.14385
>>14055
>Starting to think suicide is the true answer…
Anon, you've hit the nail on its head. You really must commit suicide. But, I hope we are both clear in what we mean by suicide. You say you want to commit suicide because, through your realization of the accidental qualities of life (careers, family, etc.) and their fundamentally transitory, ephemeral and hence pointless application to ourselves, you now understand that because SOCIETY has taught so many of us, since birth, that life is ABOUT family, career, etc, that therefore your PURPOSE in living has ceased to be, from your greater awareness of their true purpose as mere forms of escapism. I would argue, that your aim of suicide is perfectly acceptable. But I would like to clarify that destroying your ego (as happens in suicide) would be to lose the clarity that you now grasp. YOU lose by corporeal suicide. You win, on the other hand, in your ideological suicide. You are awakening to the chains that bear down on your ego. And you must complete your emancipation. However, if you take your corporeal life, then all will have been lost. And I think you owe yourself more than that.
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No.14387
>>14364
study more OP.
you sound like pagan too.
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No.14396
>>14364
>But now that I know the truth, how can I go back to denial?
You can't unlearn what you have learned, more so if you are confronted with it on daily basis - through existence itself. You can just, as I said above your post, learn to live with it.
>It seems to me that the only way to rebel against the routine life you are meant to follow, the only way to win, is by committing suicide.
It's the easy way out but if you truly want to "rebel", you have many ways how to do that but it will be hard. Since we don't know what is on other side or if there is anything at all, I don't think we need to hurry with death that much. In this day and age, in this sick world, your best chance for rebellion is to live life like we used to do, that's all what it takes. Imagine holding certain types of values, opinions or having certain way of life is considered not even edgy but straight dangerous if not showing signs of potential terrorist threat.
>>14385
Best point itt, however didn't really worked for me as intended. I went through hard process of "de-spooking" myself, then I hit hard wall of void. On this nothingness that was left of me, I took my ego and started building new human on it. I doubt this was what would Stirner be happy about but I'm not able to live this way since I don't care about myself almost at all. If there is no other purpose, no goal - usually including other people, in other words - no spooky carrot on the stick I can chase, I'm not being able to progress in anything in life, I just don't love myself enough to even get out of bed just for me.
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No.14399
I don't see suicide or living as either of worth but rather as a part of existence, both elements of suffering, for those who live suffer, and in death we suffer. those who who do not suffer in either never live or die.
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No.14400
>>14396
>ignores the fact that it's all jews
I sincerely hope you kill yourself.
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No.14408
>>14400
Man, you should know better we don't need three brackets here. I'm very well aware of top jews running the circus.
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No.14421
It's literally the jews, if you feel that bad, go attack a synagogue and die a hero's death, and make it to Valhalla.
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No.14490
>>14364
100% agree with you up until you talked about rebelling. You've recognized that there is no inherent meaning or point to our lives and you've come to accept reality, removed away from human opinion, values and rhetoric. But why is rebelling good? You feel a great deal of anger and betrayal from the lies which society has sold to you, however you haven't reasoned out why suicide is "winning" against routine. There are other ways of using this indignation to punish existence.
Furthermore retaliation isn't necessarily the right choice too. Sure, morality is a nigger and a spook, but now that you know that, you can accept your own morality, and whilst it is self imposed (and thus you probably won't fully accept), it will still lead to a feeling of being "content". Now that you can see existence as it truly is, with all imposed meaning stripped away, why not accept your own meaning. By meaning i mean not the usual existentialist garbage "i exist to resist suffering" "my purpose in life is to help others", but meaning that is intrinsic to who you are. You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution; you are the result of vicious determination, struggle, death, life and pain. Natural selection has lead you to be who you are; man; cunning and potent (disclaimer genes don't always get things right). Evolution has ingrained instinct into you, to further this cycle: food, shelter, survival, protection of the tribe and above all propagation of your self. Most men feel a deep desire to further their line and produce kids. You want to protect and accommodate for your family, your tribe and your people. These instincts are the closest thing to absolute value and the easiest way of feeling content with your life and decisions. Its hard to pull the trigger to kill yourself, however it easy to kill someone who threatens your family.
My point is that instinct is the easiest path to feeling alive. Of course instinct can be used and manipulated; look around at clown world where billions are slaves to their desires. But evolution has been successful at producing better and better life and to do so it has placed within you, and most people, base instincts. You don't feel fulfilled hunched over playing video games for hours or binging on fast food, but you feel fulfilled when you provide for and protect your family and people. You know that society is wrong about everything, but this is what should feel right.
There we go that was the best argument I could put forward for not killing yourself. This "deeper instinct" is how a lot of people who naturally come to nihilism chose to define meaning. I don't buy into it because I am a wholly broken man and a complete autist who is obsessed with the absolute nature of reality and stripping away my own bias from observation, so thus I reject instinct (ironically I failed in life because I was ruled by a deep fear of death)
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No.14514
>>14364
>Now I'm left wondering why I should bother doing anything if I'm going to die anyway.
Why should you bother yourself with a self-fulfilling prophecy that begs the question?
>But now that I know the truth, how can I go back to denial?
You don't have to. You only have to come to the realization that you never truly believed in this proposition in the first place.
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No.14519
>>14490
I don't think you know what a spook is, anon.
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No.14587
>>14519
>spook
I'm using it as (I think) Stirner would have; roughly a human abstraction or idea which influences or "spooks" people into behaving or thinking in a certain way. Is this not right or did you have another meaning in mind?
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No.14589
Some times in life all that can make you happy is eating a candy bar while watching the sun set. It's not deep, it's not insightful and it doesn't make a single bit of difference if it is or not. The experience at those moments transcends any ideology or situation. Learn to find those experiences while trying to live your life as a better person.
Novelty and beauty are not the same thing. Happiness and possessions are not the same thing. Learn to find beauty and happiness even if it's for small moments and try to become more than you are. You're going to spend all eternity dead no matter what course you take so why not take your time to get there?
Consider the options you have.
Option A is this is it and you suicide and you're gone. Waste of a life.
Option B is there is an after life and your actions define where you go in it. Suicide is universally frowned upon in such scenarios and an eternity being raped in the ass by Niggers is worse than existing in this world.
Between option A and B the logical answer is to attempt to get a good B ending instead of rushing towards a bad A ending. You will suffer immensely between now and death, see horrors beyond your imagination but you will also get to watch some sunsets while eating a candy bar. And if you try to maximize those you can make the journey more bearable.
Or you can just kill yourself on live stream or visit a mosque on facebook live. Either way make sure to give credit to the board or /leftypol/ or something.
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No.14590
Embrace the absurd. You will never get rid of what you unmasked (you can kill yourself but I doubt you want to die, you likely just don't want your life.) You can try deluding yourself but that is just a shitty cope that'll fuck you in the long run. Tbh I cope with shit by not feeling emotions, and unless you are self destructive you don't want to go down that path. Stop asking a bunch of pathetic faggots for help and wallowing in your despair, if you actually want help you are unlikely to find it here.
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No.15215
>>14055
OP, you nailed it completely. When one considers everything that you posted ITT, it's hard to justify NOT committing suicide. Nobody in this thread has really justified why you shouldn't. I see nothing but platitudes, vague replies and people missing the point. This is because the truth you speak of is the ultimate truth about life, and you can't overcome it, only live in spite of it. However, you argue that to live in spite of it is to lie to yourself and return to the imprisonment of daily life, which is obviously something you can't in good conscience do.
To answer your question: No. The most dignifying thing you can do, all things considered, is committing suicide. You know this is true, I know this is true. We're both just procrastinating.
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No.22745
>>14396
>Best point itt, however didn't really worked for me as intended. I went through hard process of "de-spooking" myself, then I hit hard wall of void. On this nothingness that was left of me, I took my ego and started building new human on it. I doubt this was what would Stirner be happy about but I'm not able to live this way since I don't care about myself almost at all. If there is no other purpose, no goal - usually including other people, in other words - no spooky carrot on the stick I can chase, I'm not being able to progress in anything in life, I just don't love myself enough to even get out of bed just for me.
You put the way I feel into words better than I have ever been able to. Thank you.
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No.22749
>>14055
>…is there any way to continue living as you have?
sadly, there is none
once you realize that you are evolutionary failure and life is a nigger, there is not going back. Like you cannot unswallow the truth anymore. this is why this matrix movie scene is so iconic. Because it is right
>is there way to become normal again
no, once imageboards have fucked you up, you cannot. you simply feel like everything else normies are fans of is commercial crap and the stuff and pop culture references they love is political crap. every interaction will remind you about it.
only thing you can try is literally escapism. find a hobby to distract yourself with. go travel the world or play video games until your eyes fall out.
>suicide is the true answer
life is a constant runaway action from death.
so when you understand that life has no meaning and is pointless, the only logical next step is to start fetishizing premature death. but the funny thing here is that suicide is pointless as well. So unless you are really suffering badly and every day is hurting and tormenting you, there is no reason to suicide either.
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