/doomer/ - Doomers Club

>>12529

why does man seek to explore?

why do we climb mountains?

where does the yearning to do such things come from?

my pain is born from this, it springs forth like a flash of inspiration, a desire to go, a desire to conquer some shit….instead i'm plowing fields for a family.

i hear you though…stoicism helped a lot with my pain management when i was going through rad therapy and chemo and shit.

just not happy about what is obviously going to be a life long battle for me.

>>12528

>when i came into my prime i had a wife and a kid but i wanted the soul back i traded to support that family.

When exactly was your prime? Also it sounds to me like some kind of midlife crisis. Sorry about cancer though.

>>12530

When war in Ukraine started a lot of "farmers/family men" took arms on both sides, very young, middle aged even old. Why? Because of future of their country - their families and children, otherwise they all would be on front line as minority of people there - fighting for the sake of fight, without any reason other than selfish pseudo-glory and vision of death. The bottom line is that something is very wrong if you see your family with kid as anchor. I don't want to say explicitly you are selfish because I don't know anything about your relations within family but putting effort into your own family, giving your child healthy basis to life (in other words - being a good father) is something honorable in my eyes, especially if we know how rare is to have good parents nowadays. Metaphorically said - don't cry over your fate as a man plowing fields for a family. Why to explore world, why to climb mountains, why to care about nature, why to do anything? You do it for the future, you said you had kid, and that is part of the future. Isn't that good enough reason? I can't shake a feeling that you are just typical selfish boomer who is willing to destroy whole family because muh exploring world and enjoying life but that's just feel I get, as I said I don't know your situation. I don't even know what are you complaining about in your post, if that is cancer or having a family, I can't see clearly your point.

>>12534

Also being a parent should be considered well before it happens but once you are you better fucking be a good parent, no kid should suffer throughout his whole life just because his boomer dad wanted to go fuck shemales to thailand and get wasted every night at casino.

>i always want what i can't have, should i just die?

you have been propagandized by advertising, tv shows, movies, books and magazines into always wanting what you don't have so you spend money in the businesses that are producing the propaganda.

This has caused you to lose the correct perspective, the perspective that you are complete, you do not need anything they are selling.

There is nothing you should want more than to be a good man, a good husband and father and to enjoy the time you have together with your family, anything else in life is a bonus but not necessary.

Stop consuming propaganda designed to make you feel that your life lacks something that can be bought from the propagandists, you are complete already.

>>12529

Epicurus was wise.

Anons, I would like your insight on a personal matter. Don't want to make another thread, fuck it.

There was this guy that was my best friend since childhood, I have know him from so long I don't even remember when I met him. We were both kinda fucked, but I far outpaced him in that regard. We even lived together for some time, but because we were both hard to deal it didn't worked out well, so I stepped away for the sake of our friendship. But we were still in good terms.

Of course, my life was going full downhill, while he was getting his shit together finding a good job, losing his virginity, and becoming a full Chad. On top of that he was trying to shove his nose in my life way more than I would like trying to help me, forcing me to see a psychologist and shit, and as I am a very reserved person, I wasn't very fond of his intromission, and also I was feeling we were starting to belong to different words.

One day I arrived drunk at his house, puked in his floor, told him I had lost my scholarship something I didn't told anyone and cried in front of the girl he was banging she was actually naked when I barged into his house, but I didn't see much as I was drunk as hell. After that he went full on "family intervention" on me, ordering me to go back to live with him, and told his mom about it. His mom knew mine, and because of it I felt like he actually damaged my family relations by telling his mother about it, as the news would travel fast. With the culmination of feelings of anger, guilt, and shame, I just stopped going into his house, ghosted him hard, and never saw him again. No discussion or anything, I just told him I would go there in the next day and never did. And it wasn't just him I ghosted, I did it to three different social circles, former work, nerds, and college I was determined to cut ties and fucking end it. That was three years ago.

Well, I tought I would be miserable and in the void I would find the strenght to kill myself, but… I wasn't. I like being a doomer, to do /nightwalks/, that people never know what I'm up to, to never give answers I don't want to, to be fully alone. Loneliness is as natural do me as depression is for many of you, we baske in the shit because we like the smell, It may sound crazy, but this is my natural enviroment. In the moment I hitted the bottom of the well I wasn't as sad as I tought I would be, so I just reformed my life from there. Made other social circles even tough way more distant, I don't get too involved with people, got into a martial arts, even stopped drinking as hard as I did. My life isn't "good" but if I could use a term to describe it, it would be dark and comfy.

So well, after those three years an acquaintace in common between me and this friend contacted to chit chat via Steam, and I can clearly see trough his annoying questions and persistance about what the fuck I am doing that this past friend is behind his actions. Today this acquaintance asked me why I don't contact this friend and well… I have no answer. But I don't know if I should, to be honest. There would be too much questions, too much tension, too much emotional moments and I don't like that stuff, I just want to train hard for my martial arts tournaments, walk in the night listening to progressive, and play my vydias. After three years without friends, I don't know if I could endure the social and psychological weight of having one. I'm too self centered now, too used to tell people to eat shit when they ask what I do for a living, or where I live, or if I have special people. And I know he would be emotional about it, as he is an emotional person he was the short fused and I was the "dead inside clown" but I don't know if agressive or empathic and tearful, and holy hell, I would take agressive all day long. I would rather being punched in the face repeatedly than being stuck in an emotional sittuation.

Anon, what would you do in my situation? I'm strongly leaning towards just blocking that acquaintance and call it a day, but I would like some insight.

>>12536

i'm back.

i made all the right choices in life, i'm lucky enough to have always been athletic and fairly attractive…like literately i've had a pretty crazy life but everything i have planned for myself i've been able to execute, almost every aspect of my life is about as good as it can get…. i waited to get married until i was 30, i was married for several years before we had our kid, professionally i've worked my way up to upper management in a prestigious aerospace firm that affords me a great quality of life with travel and comfort…my wife and kid are out of a fucking story book, like not a single thing i can think of that is negative about either one of them, my son is naturally a good kid, has drive, is both kind but not a pussy, it blows my fucking mind how perfect my family and life actually is at this point….and again it's not like i haven't been through shit, but since i've always made good choices and had things going for me i've always come out on top with flying colors….

deep down, i know i'm not going anywhere,my pride and honor would never allow me to do such things, what i am bitching about here is i've always had this thing inside of me that makes me want to push further and deeper, and what really resonates with me is exploring, finding new shit, whether that be new ways of building rockets or new places deep in the back country, i was huge into mountain climbing in my late teens,20's and early 30's, as i got more involved with my wife i got less involved with climbing as the sort of things i was doing were pretty dangerous and not a lot of people could do it in the first place, but the main reason i was into that was just because i was able to go where maybe only a few hundred people have ever stood before and i really got off on that thought….

men have been leaving their families to go explore and push themselves since the dawn of time, i think there is something inside some of us where we have this sort of drive to constantly be moving….

i can't move any further in my professional career without sacrificing my family, i can't explore the far corners of the world anymore without sacrificing my family, i've traveled, i know the world is a dangerous place, i'm happy to go to those places myself regardless, but i would never put my family there.

i know i should be happy with what i have, it's fucking marvelous, but i feel bored and stagnant, i think that this is something i will always fight with because it's an urge, an uninitiated thought and desire to just go that comes from nowhere, it's not like wanting a new car or some materiel possession, i would liken it to the drive a women feels to have a child when she starts getting on in years, sure there's a rational component there, but there's also something going on, on a much deeper level.

>>12556

hey brazil anon:

you do you man, i'm the same way, i prefer to be alone,not because i don't like people, i just enjoy myself more and is kind of what i am talking about in my op about being free and having freedom to just go, it is selfish to want to do what you want to do when you want to do it but it's probably the most natural type of selfishness and probably isn't a bad thing on a certain level, you only get one life man, and as someone who has faced their own death i can tell you that the only thing that matters when your laying there not knowing if your going to die in the next hour is if you personally feel like you've done the things you wanted to do while you were here….and trust me, these people you are concerned with won't be there with you in those moments when you are looking back on your life….

for me, it was like this, i had stage III ass cancer and they told me that i had a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery, i had something like 6-8 weeks to "heal" from the chemo and rad treatments before the surgery date, in that time i took a solo trip across the western US and went to a bunch of national parks and shit, i had about two months on the road by myself with my wife and kid back at home waiting on me, i did a lot of self reflection and looking back on my life during that time, not once did i ever feel sorry for myself or feel like there was something that i hadn't quite finished with yet, barring my family obviously, my only regret was not being able to be around to see my son grow into a man..and honestly, i'm just as fearful as i am hopeful of that just due to the world we live in…but on a personal level i had done everything in this life i felt like i wanted to do….i want you to have that anon, i can't explain how it feels to be satisfied with your life and feeling like it was a life lived well…you're not going to have that if you're not doing the things you want to do with yourself while you still can, once you have a family your life is no longer yours really…. that's both a good thing and a bad thing and what i am struggling with now….i've always been on the move, i've always been kinda aloof, i mean don;t get me wrong, i was always popular and had a lot of friends but i don't know, i was still kinda of aloof and i think that's kinda what lead to my popularity on a certain level, just kind did what i wanted to do regardless, you can do that too if your not a dick about it and just matter of fact about things, tell people this is what i'm doing, i'll see ya if i see ya…control your life. it's fundamental man. don't give it away without good reason, i know i'm being a whinny little bitch above but giving your life over to have children is a one of the few good reasons, feeling indebted to someone for such minor things as your talking about certainly isn't.

i think you should do what i did, save up some cash, build a sleeping platform in the back of your car/truck whatever and just fucking go for like a month, go where you want, when you want and do what you want as it come to you, being alone and having no contact to anyone who knows you and just driving for days,weeks,months is fucking freeing as shit and is good for the soul….all you need is food and gas and you can live out of your car, lol….i was making six figures and lived out the back of my SUV for 2 months. who gives a fuck. go get lost, you will be alone and not at the same time as you meet people along the way, once you had enough of them you can just move on.

i'll help you design shit for your car if you want to make it livable….if you don't have a car, get one. lol.

either way, this maybe of no help i don't know, i have to go now but let's talk later man, i want to help you anon.

>>12595

You know, the whole point is to not sacrifice the family for the other thing you want and I guess you understand that. But from that yours previous post it seemed to me as you are just ready to ruin everything because you want to do something else, which sounded very selfish. It's all matter of values. Now we live through times when it is very important to have home, to have loving family, all great treasures in life. Of course having this need for exploration and adventure is normal but you can still do it without abandoning everyone. Go to woods or take yourself for a few days and go hiking, climb some shit but your family needs you man, without them you will have no real home you can go back to.

>>12556

You feel bad because you didn't made any progress, don't you? You are not scared about the questions, you are scared about not having any positive answer to them, right? That sucks big time because only thing you can do to speak to him and not feel like a complete failure is to improve things in your life and that is up to you. Speaking from my own experience - I never talked to these people ever since, what a shame.

>when i came into my prime i had a wife and a kid but i wanted the soul back i traded to support that family.

the good ol' cost of oppurtunity

I have only one life

Do I waste it on being a junkie?

Do I waste it on a wife and son that will never love me?

Do I waste it on a company that doesn't give a shit about me?

Do I waste it for government fighting their wars?

The only real answer is to not play the game and accept you will be unhappy whatever you do. So instead, just do whatever feels best in the present moment you can choose

>>12556

The annoying friends that went out of their way to babysit me and kick my ass when I was being a bitch were the best kinds of friends. That guy probably has better shit to do than to help you but for some reason he still cares.

>>12596

When your wife and son can rely on themselves without you and other thigs, then it wont count a sacrifice.

Push them, they sound smart and reliable.

You are in a situation where you could push your boy into maturing faster. after that you can go crazy with your partener.

>>12528

If it means anything ancientfag I don't have a life nor a family, you can always be worse nigga

Anyway, so what was it like being 20 in the 90's? come on tell a story

>inb4 zoomer

I'm 30 bruh

>>12528

And this is another interesting phenomenen

Humans cannot be happy

why? the answer lies again in economic theories.

Economists say that humans have infinite amount of desires. And buddha says that desire is the source of unhappiness. So if both theories are right, we have to conclude that humans can never be truly happy because they will always be greedy for more of what they don't have.

On top of that there comes another problem: Cost of oppurtunity.

>I have only 1 life, should I dedicate it to becoming a rich businessman

>or should I travel the world and become a vagabond artist

>or should I be a normalfag and have wife, 2 children, suburb home

Basically, no matter what you choose, you will regret it later on and think the other option would have been better. Or easiest example:

>should I go to school 10 years and become doctor

>or should I go work on an oil rig for the quick bucks right now

same problem again. You have to choose one …