/co/ - Comics & Cartoons

In my reading order, they call the first four issues of the Death of Superman saga the "Oncoming Doom". That's fitting, considering my only knowledge of Superman comes from reading a lot of Silver Age comics. I don't know how I'll handle the massive changes John Byrne did to the character (though he was off the book when this event started).

The first issue is Man of Steel #17, and I'm already kinda "what?"

>>937968

Ok, this black kid going down into the scary moloch caves is confusing me because I genuinely think he's crazy. I don't know why he would assume the monster-man that stole his cat and immediately headed for the underground monster tunnels is his mother who abandoned him at an orphanage. The mother that he thinks looks like the magazine pin-up. Man these fucking writers.

So there are gangs in Metropolis that shoot each other over control of the city's junkyard. Because we know the big business for drugs is in junkyards. Anyway, they get killed by a monster thing.

Oh, and the black kid got the whammy put on him and is now going to be lizard witch stew.

>>937973

What the fuck is this shit? There are fucking ooga-booga monster mother-fuckers living in Metropolis's sewers? And Superman just knows about this and does nothing about it?

There are also aliens with them, I guess. Aliens that are running an underground freak-show society that want to take over the surface world and establish a communist society. To accomplish their glorious revolution, they need guns. Not like blaster guns, but regular old guns that Superman is impervious to.

Anyway, they're going to kill the kid they saved from becoming lizard witch stew. I guess in addition to commies, they're bigots because they don't want black people in their gross soup.

>>937978

Superman saves the kid from bonersarusrex and the other Robin R. Bottin rejects, but falls for the same fucking trick as before and the entire lot of them disappears.

Superman, you're the strongest mother fucker on earth. You can just chuck the fucking grenade really fucking far, really fucking fast. You don't need to fucking hold it.

>>937984

So yeah, this is why it's a fucking Death of Superman tie in. Just fucking fists banging against a metal wall because Doomsday is fucking coming.

Stay tuned until next time when we go on a "not very exciting" time adventure.

>>937995

>What "public trust"?

Before The Death of Superman, the general public trusted comics. This was before killing off characters was common-place, and so when DC said they were going to kill Superman, they believed it. They got emotionally invested in it, because Superman was a beloved cultural icon. People who hadn't bought comics since their childhood bought The Death of Superman.

The Death of Superman was also the first major disconnect between a comic company and the general public. Since they were knee deep in comics, the people writing, editing, and publishing it thought it was assumed they were always going to bring Superman back. They didn't understand that normies took them at their word, so when Superman returned, they felt conned.

After that, the public never trusted comics again and forever ignored them. The Death of Superman taught regular people that nothing actually matters in comics.

>>937979

>It gets worse when 5 fucking supes IIRC appear.

Warner's going to release a more faithful adaptation of DOS in 2018, followed by "Reign Of The Supermen" in 2019.

You're getting your super babies.

>>938017

>>938017

>>938107

>There will never be a ROS episode of BATB where Batman has to team-up with four weirdos all claiming to be Superman

That show was too good for this world.

>>937964

>upcoming Doomsday Cock

I completly blocked that one out from happening.

Reading the Death and Return on its own is a bad idea. Such a bad idea that DC released a whole bunch of trades of stories preceding it in a time when trades weren’t that common.

If you read it on its own, you will be confused by:

Matrix Supergirl

Lex Luthor II

Team Luthor

Lois being engaged to Clark

Bloodwynd

Maxima

Mongul/Warworld

Cyborg Superman

Eradicator

Underworlders

Gangbuster

Guardian & everything at Cadmus

Linear Men

It’s very much of its era. There was a lot of build up and it’s much less satisfying when you have to ignore a lot of it because you don’t know what the fuck is going on.

From Action Comics 678, the origin of Luthor II

>>938236

From Action Comics 677, the abridged origin of Matrix Supergirl.

From Adventures of Superman 460, the origin of the Eradicator, aka Visor Superman

From Superman (vol 2) 50, Clark and Lois get engaged.

From Superman (vol 2) 32, an introduction to Mongul

>>938248

<I assume the internet has existed since the beginning of time

And this is why newfags are the worst

>>938248

>Neckbeards should have understood the fucking difference between fucking Robin (who was already replaced once and relegated to sporadic appearances in Batman books starting from about the '70s) and fucking Superman

They understood that DC killed Batman's sidekick of fifty years, something they genuinly didn't think they'd do. They called the kill number thinking there was no way they'd do it. When they did, suddenly all bets were off. If DC could kill the Robin of Batman & Robin, then it stood to reason they could kill Superman and break Batman.

Only now we know all of that shit was a scam.

"Oncoming Doom" is still oncoming.

In Superman #73, we get go on a trip into time. The abstract concept of time, not the "let's go visit Abe Lincoln" kind of time.

We're first introduced to the ever popular GREEN LANTERN BOOSTER GOLD, and one of the Linear Men. The Linear Men are what DC did with Rip Hunter, Time Master after Crises on Infinite Earths. I think they got forgotten after the early nineties.

There are time problems that involve Waverider, who is not a bitchin' super-surfer but instead a character introduced in the cross-over Armageddon 2001. Waverider is made of time, so you know that's kind of a problem I guess.

>>938343

Do you know what I want from my Superman comics? Wife-beating, awkward dinner dates with childhood sweet-hearts, and some old guy dying while Superman is trying to eat. That part is an essential element to Superman.

So Waverider shows up, because he's the kid and that old guy is his grandpa. He also hates the fuck out of the Linear Men and he just grabs a confused Superman to storm their lair beyond the reaches of time.

>>938345

Soon all will be explained. Maybe.

>>938344

>Shades Superman (thank you..someone else actually used that moniker) is the Eradicator, a robot used to preserve alien culture..that got hijacked by a Kryptonian named Kem-L and turned into a machine that destroys other culture to preserve Kryptonian culture

I called him Hitman Supes back then

>>938352

>>938348

>>938345

This clears that up for you. He's the "other" Waverider, I think. Well, we meet a Waverider that isn't made of time.

And then Waverider kills him, I mean the Waverider made of time kills the Waverider not made of time. You'll get it. All the while Superman is just baffled on what the fuck is going on.

>>938360

>>938364

No, because they were two different Waveriders from two different time-lines.

Oh, and because the Waverider made of time killed the Waverider not made of time, they've fallen into a paradox. I think.

>>938372

Waverider gets them out of the paradox he created by creating another paradox by pulling a version of the Waverider not made of time a nano-second before he got killed. He then decides to join the Linear men and Superman gets back to his awkward dinner date just in time to watch some old guy die. Lovely.

The time shenanigans are a fun idea. Too bad it's in a bland, overly serious comic. Oh, and Doomsday is coming.

>>938364

>Rip Hunter looks like Cable

>Cable first appeared in March 1990

>Linear Men first appeared in March of 1991

You might be onto something there, considering…

>>938349

>Henshaw started out as a Fantastic Four knock-off, with him, his wife and two other folks were sent into space for an experiment

I can't tell you how much I hate shit like this. Rip-off digs at your competitors cheapens your product. Unless it's EXTRANO that is.

>>938373

>Oh, and Doomsday is cumming.

>>938375

>We don't see him, just his fist pounding meat.

>>938286

<You had to have internet to understand nobody stays dead in comics

This is why you're the worst

>>938396

>>938402

<boy these guys are dumb for not knowing that nobody stays dead in comics lol

>when there were only two major characters that died and returned before 1993 (Alfred Pennyworth and Jean Grey) and for you to be aware of both you'd had to have been reading comics for 30 years

>>938402

Yeah, but as you've pointed out, it they didn't bring back Jason Todd, but introduced Tim Drake. Considering that after Superman died they did "REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN", I wouldn't be surprised at all if neckbeards at the time thought they were actually going to replace Superman with one of those four.

Hell, you've already seen that kind of reaction within the last four years with Marvel's shitty stunts, with fags bemoaning that Whor will last forever and Twitter forming lynch mobs over Nazi Cap. I can only imagine it would've been worse in the 90's since you wouldn't have that past experience with bullshit to temper it.

>>938496

Alfred was tragically crushed by a falling boulder in 1964 and was replaced (in the same issue!) by Aunt Harriet, Dick's Aunt. It's assumed this was done to thwart Wertham's allegations that Batman promoted homosexuality, though it probably made the matter worse.

However, when Alfred started appearing on the Batman TV Show, DC had to be bring him back. So they published a mini-arc where Batman and Robin were challenged by a dangerous new foe called THE OUTSIDER with bizarre powers and knowledge of their secret identities. THE OUTSIDER, of course, was Alfred, who didn't really die, but was rather horribly maimed and brought back to health by a strange experiment which deformed his body and twisted his mind to evil. Batman eventually defeated THE OUTSIDER and restored him back to the Alfred we all know and love, swearing to never talk about that incident ever again.

>>938633

>Not to mention they've done various 'Death of Superman' stories in the '50s where they revealed that it was an imaginary story or it happened on Earth 2 or some other shit.

There was only one death of Superman comic in the Silver Age. Superman #149, written by Jerry Siegel, Superman's fucking co-creator, penciled by Curt mother-fucking Swan. It's a fucking classic, you uneducated newfag.

Get the fuck out of here you casual nigger piece of shit.

"Oncoming Doom" just keeps on coming.

Adventures of Superman #496 features Mr. Mxyzptlk! Unfortunately, since Byrne's run, they've changed the rules concerning Mr. Mxyzptlk, so a confusing, yet fun, character becomes simply confusing.

>>938740

See, before, all Superman had to do was trick Mr. Mxyzptlk into saying his name backwards to get him to leave. However, since Crises, that was changed into meeting whatever condition Mr. Mxyzptlk.

That rule, however, turns out to be a fat load of horseshit since Lex Luthor taught Mr. Mxyzptlk how to lie, so now Mr. Mxyzptlk can just choose not to go back once his conditions are met. What this implies is that Mr. Mxyzptlk's banishment back to his home in the fifth dimension is completely voluntary on his part, when before it was involuntary. In their effort to make Mr. Mxyzptlk less silly they've gone ahead and broke his entire character.

Oh, if you're wondering why Lex Luthor has a hook-hand, apparently, before his body swap, he got his hand bitten off by kryptonite caused cancer.

>>938746

Superman, despite it being clearly obvious, still doesn't realize that Lex Luthor 2 is actually just Lex Luthor.

Which is annoying and infuriating.

>>938749

>Superman and Lex Luthor in their undies

I didn't ask for this. What was with the nineties and finding any excuse to draw superheroes as close to naked as possible?

I also forgot to point out the fucking Watchmen reference in the previous five pages.

>>938752

So Mr. Mxyzptlk does the whole "which one of us is lying" bit with Lex Luthor crying in an electric chair. The problem is that it's really fucking confusing, and the rules aren't really made clear. Like what exactly is keeping Mr. Mxyzptlk from lying or just choosing not to go back to the fifth dimension?

As you save $10 on Superman's Dead Body comics by subscribing to them, stay tuned until next time when Superman fights a vigilante werewolf.

>>938758

After this issue, I can totally understand why Superman's sales were slumping.

I can't imagine the person that would read this and enjoy it.

In Action Comics #683, last issue were Doomsday pounds metal to get out.

Superman fights a werewolf. Well a kinda werewolf. A meta-human werewolf. A meta-human werewolf that murders criminals, which is important, because we need more scenes of Superman justifying his no-kill policy. Why do we need more scenes of Superman justifying his no-kill policy? I don't know. Nerds are fucking insecure.

Also, the first part of this reads like a Batman plot they retooled for Superman.

>>939200

After coming across the horrible scene of werewolf justice, Superman just has to find out more about this werewolf guy, but the Daily Planet's 16 bit IBMs ain't cuttin' it! HE NEEDS MORE POWER!

>>939202

Dammit Tim! It's the Bat-Cave, not a goddamn public library! Like the homeless drifters abusing free computer access and internet in our public institutions, Superman just uses the Bat-Computer to track his werewolf problem. Then Robin and Superman share some thoughts about vigilantism to imply the idea that Superman is sometimes tempted to "cross the line".

Meanwhile, our werewolf friend just hides out in strip-club shitters waiting for retards to plot crimes. So he can murder them in the act. So you guys, be careful not to talk about were you get your comics in shady bathrooms.

Otherwise the shit-house wolf-man will get you.

>>939208

Superman saves the mentally deficient arsonists and throws shit-house wolf-man into the trash. Then we go on for a couple pages where Superman justifies why he doesn't kill criminals. I guess choosing not to kill criminals was a really controversial position to have in early nineties superhero comics.

>>939216

Even the short-bus riders are smart enough not to mess with Superman! It rekindles my faith in humanity.

Oh, and Doomsday is here. That's important too I guess.

>>939202

>>938675

>There was only one death of Superman comic in the Silver Age

Who's the casual again?

>>939323

You are, because in Superman #188, Superman died briefly and then revived four pages later. In Action Comics #366, Superman didn't even die.

Fucking read some comics, fam.

>>939463

>They both feature the death of Superman

>Superman #188 doesn't even mention it on it's cover

>Action Comics #366 Superman isn't dead at all and is just fine three pages in

Not only are you being pedantic, but from your salt it's clear you didn't even read the comics you posted as evidence. Did you just google a top ten list and then pick the two written in the sixties that weren't Superman #149? Then post about it on /co/ expecting that nobody on /co/ would have a bug-out folder with every single Superman comic ever written?

What fucking board do you think this is?

>>939495

>counts a cover advertising Superman's death as an actual death

Regardless, you can't compare DC's earlier "Death of Superman" shinanagins to The Death of Superman event in 1993. The earlier comics, even Superman #149, were done to sell a single issue and the story was mostly contained. The events of Action Comics #366 covered only four issues (#363, #364, #365, and #366), Superman never died, and it dealt more with Superman's bout of Kryptonian leprosy.

1993's Death of Superman lasted 38 issues, crossed over nine titles, and was heavily advertised. DC wasn't billing this that Superman got sick from a krypton virus and thought he was dying, Superman being dead for four pages, or that it was going to be an imaginary story. DC was billing it as "SUPERMAN IS GOING TO FUCKING DIE".

The idea of killing Superman wasn't a unique concept, but DC's approach to it in 1993 was.

>>939499

>Also consider that the way Reign of the Supermen was written, it was pretty obvious that none of them were ever going to be a permanent Superman replacement.

That's hindsight. Nobody who bought Superman #75 thought that the man of steel was going to be back a mere nine months later.

IT'S FUCKING DOOMSDAY MOTHER FUCKERS YEAH

We're at Man of Steel #18 and Doomsday is just willing himself to the surface. Like a rocket. A rocket made of doom and rocks.

Meanwhile, that insane black kid from the previous issue still fucking believes that the fucking underground monster people have his mom. That kid has serious problems and probably several learning disabilities.

>>939570

Doomsday is now free upon earth's surface. His eyes strain to look upon all the beauty that nature provides. He holds out his rocky hand and a bird gently rests upon it, recognizing Doomsday as one of god's creatures.

Then Doomsday crushes it and laughs. Then I laugh. Because I can't take this shit seriously after that.

Anyway, Lois gets a mysterious note for Superman warning of the mutant revolution, and instead of just leaving the note for Clark to find at his desk, she has to write it on his computer. Then there's a black-out, leaving Lois to probably get killed by mutants because she just couldn't leave the note at Clark's desk.

As Lois is hauled away by the combined forces of sewer monsters and street bums, only now does that black kid realize that the fucking sewer monsters lied to him about his mom. Seriously kid, what reason would you have to believe that she was shacking up with sewer monsters in the scary rape caves under the city?

>>939578

Doomsday really fucking hates trees.

Anyway, the monster bum alliance needs electricity to power their massive drilling machine. For some reason. It's not really made clear why they need to drill a giant tunnel when they have easy access to street level. Guess they needed something cool for Superman to punch.

But that kid who needs therapy manages to summon Superman who promptly wrecks their shit and teaches the mutants/homeless people their rightful place!

>>939580

Doomsday has apparently made his way to a bridge, or a highway over-pass, and just fucks it up. Nothing is safe from him, not even our national infrastructure.

Superman rushes to save Lois from execution, but it turns out that Charlie, the homeless bum Lois Lane gives hand-outs to, was never a traitor to the surface world! An old peacenik, he infiltrated their ranks to bring vital information of their plot to Lois! He was the author of the note that Lois should've just left at Clark's desk!

The rogue mutants are imprisoned, ready to face the justice of the underground, and Superman leaves without addressing any of the massive bureaucratic and social problems of having an subterranean community of homeless people and monsters just living underneath the largest city in the United States.

>>939587

Doomsday just continues to fuck things up. This looks like a job for THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, which is the next issue.

The Justice League gets anally raped by Doomsday.

So stay tuned for that, and marvel over Robin's new lenticular covers.

>>939521

>That's hindsight

Not if you were actually reading it.

>Nobody who bought Superman #75 thought that the man of steel was going to be back a mere nine months later.

One of the people they interviewed on the press circuit for this thing was John Byrne. Here's what John Byrne had to say

>>939578

>Cheep?

What did he mean by this?

>>939580

>Doomsday really fucking hates trees.

>implying that's Doomsday

This is clearly the return of PAUL BUNYAN.

Next up is "Justice League America''#69, but perhaps you know it's other title "ROCK COCK". You can find it at your local adult magazine supplier under "rape" and "bisexual gang-bang".

What was considered the "Justice League" back in 1992 save people from a tanker fire caused by Doomsday's path of destruction. Remember back in the nineties when Guy Gardner had Sinestro's power ring? I guess that gets over-shadowed by his time as "MY BODY IS MADE OF WEAPONS" Warrior.

We've also got Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Fire, and Ice. The others are Maxima (better remembered for wanting Superman's cock in Superman the Animated Series), and Blackula Bloodwynd. I wonder if one of them are going to die for effect.

>>939999

As Superman is interviewed during a talk show held at a local high-school, the Justice League's telepaths use their powers to find Doomsday. As if it's hard finding a giant rock-monster fucking up everything in his path.

Speaking of fucked up, why are forest animals drawn to him? First he crushes the bird, now he chokes a deer. Maybe Doomsday is so retarded that animals don't see him as a threat. Then he goes all Frankenstein's monster on them because he doesn't know his own strength.

Anyway, Blue Beetle's Bug is a piece of shit because it's brought down by a fucking log.

>>940002

Superman talks more about the Justice League, their various hobbies, how Guy Gardner got kicked out of the Green Lantern Corps for being Guy Gardner. I must add, if that kid likes Guy Gardner, then he's got shit taste.

Do you know who doesn't like Guy Gardner? Doomsday. Guy decides he's going to tackle man-mountain all by himself. However, instead of building some construct from outside of Doomsday's reach to fight him with, Guy gets all up in his face. Guy then gets raped liked a fresh meat prisoner celled with a savage nigger who needs special pants to contain his massive cock and other prisoners call him "S.S." in hushed whispers. And "S.S" stands for "sphincter splitter".

Now that we're talking about bloody messes, let's talk about how this fight against Doomsday should've gone. Now I'm no expert, but watching a video where guys shoot 2'x4's at steel security doors, for Doomsday to throw a log hard enough to penetrate the Bug's hull, it would have to be traveling at 442mph. With that in mind, regardless of any protection Guy's ring would offer him, the force at which Doomsday would hit him would probably reduce Guy to a fine red mist.

>>940013

As Superman talks about peace and fear, Doomsday proceeds to wreck the asses of everyone in the Justice League. Now, we've already established that Guy would probably be dead after fighting Doomsday, but fucking Blue Beetle should definitely be dead. He has no ring for protection, so his head should've burst like a watermelon hit with a shotgun blast.

>>940015

Doomsday proceeds to punch Booster Gold so hard he goes airborne. Superman catches him midair and Booster warns him. With that creature, and all the destruction it's caused, it's like it's

DOOMSDAY

Read the letters column and stay-tuned for the next exciting issue of the Death of Superman saga. It's got broken homes and bratty teens!

>>939978

True, but don't ignore that he was still a plot device. There was some bullshit going on with Bane too.

>>940021

Bloodlines hasn't happened yet. It occurs right in the middle of both Reign of The Supermen and Knightquest. Superman actually returns before that event is over (though Bruce is still in the chair).

Put that in perspective. In 1993, THREE huge events were going on at the same time. That should give you a taste of how crazy shit was in the early 90's.

>>940022

>At first I thought Doomsday threw the dead deer through the Beetleship.

>>940224

True dat, if nothing else, it's rather astonishing that Doomsday's creator Bertron was just as much a jobber never became a massive big baddy later down the line. I mean since Superman is kinda heavily tied with the New Gods you could have had a whole story line about how Betron was some Akopolips scientist that was on the run from the early Green Lantern Corps for running all sorts of nasty galactic bio experiments for Darkseid. And that after the fiasco on Prehistoric Kryton mysteriously disappeared. Only to discover that for his consider failure in building such a weapon, he's put on ice by Darkseid, only to be revived by his omega beams once several of his agents on Earth notice the fact that Bertron's weapon ACTUALLY fucking worked, and now he's back on the radar making even more nasty monstrosities for Apokalips.

And at that point you get a whole Green Lantern miniseries, where you have some of the biggest evil cosmic forces and their respective Gods out try and recapture Doomsday and the Green Lanterns have got to team up to stop them and find a way to permanently get Doomsday and Betron off to the Phantom Zone or use their license to fucking kill.

Meanwhile in the Supes books, it turns out that there were more of Betron's nasty toys now beginning to activate around the Solar System and Supes, Kon-el, Steel, Martian Manhunter, Mister Miracle, Guy Gardner and Supergirl team up to go from Mercury to Pluto to the Oort Belt to face a new one of Betron's monstrosities being revived by Granny Goodness and an evil alliance with the remnants of the White Martian Imperium to serve Darkseid and menace the entire galaxy once more.

But fuck you, you don't get two awesome story line books spin-offs like this, because Dan "Jobber, Jobber, Jobber" Jurgens doesn't have half of the fucking imagination to pull that shit off (nor the folks working the Supes books at the time).

>>937964

>Since The Death of Superman is going to be the basis for the upcoming Doomsday Cock

Wait, I thought Doomsday Cock was about Johns blaming Watchmen for capeshit becoming edgy, not Death of Superman. How did DOS do anything except make it obvious to everyone that A-listers will never die permanently?

>>940238

Do you know when Doomsday Cock is set? 1992. Specifically, November 22, 1992.

Do you know why Johns chose that particular date? It's only three days after a certain comic dropped way back in 1992. A comic where a certain hero died. Whatever could that comic be?

It's Superman #74, and I'm more excited over the ads than I am about Superman fighting Doomsday. Most scanners cut out the ads, but not this guy. He's a true hero.

Following the utter raping of the last issue, Blue Beetle looks like he's going to kick the bucket. Ice begs Maxima to take him to get some medical attention, but she's like "nah, warrior race". It's only after Ice offers to hold off Doomsday does Maxima finally relent.

Doomsday is going to break that Norwegian pussy in half.

>>940260

Ah the broken homes of the early nineties. Punk kid can't appreciate all his single mom does for him. Gotta make that commentary about how society is changing.

Thank God all that shit ends when Doomsday chucks Ice through their window.

>>940261

Doomsday kicks Superman through a fucking low income house. The jobbing now begins in earnest.

>>940262

I fucking hate this punk kid here. He thinks Guy Gardner is cool. No wonder he doesn't respect his mom and thinks only of his lack of soda.

Superman and the rest of the non-dead Justice League use their beam powers against Doomsday. All it does is give us a look at his big gray nipple.

>>940264

WRITE NOW /co/! THE COMIC GALLERY HAS ROBOTECH!

Anyway, I cannot express how boring this fight is. Doomsday just jobs everyone, and nothing happens other than a house blowing up. This is a major why The Death of Superman is such shit. There's literally no substance to the fight against Doomsday.

Superman could've died fighting a really big rock and the effect would be exactly the same.

>>940268

So, in addition to being an invincible man-mountain that can just rape everyone, Doomsday can jump so high and so fast that Superman can't catch him. Worse yet, he just fucking leaves that family to die in a fire. I'm getting flash-backs to Man of Steel and it's making me angry.

Though that Robin 3000 looks interesting. I might have to check it out.

>>940270

Stay tuned for the next exciting part of Death of Superman where Doomsday jobs the fuck out everyone and destroys more property.

In the meantime, check out the letters pages. Or better yet, fuck the letters pages and go straight for the early nineties video game ads.

>>940268

>ROBOTECH & JAPANESE ANIMATION

If only they knew.

>>940260

>>940261

>>940268

>>940271

>Top Gear

>Super Wrestlemania

>Ultima on GB

>Robotech and Anime VHS before the 1st great boom of animu

Man, it's like a time machine

>>940270

>blonde haired, blue eyed robin

>killer robot side kick with 'SS' on chest

>>939999

>fire

>ice

>the brave and the bold fire and ice

>that quad

Like pottery

>>940373

>From memory, he tried and got one of Doomsday's elbow-spikes through the side of his gut, in a reference to the Crucifixion.

>in a reference to the Crucifixion.

That better not be real.

>>940380

>Azrel being a edgy fag as usual

Jean Paul Valley had mental problems caused by being subconsciously brainwashed by the Order of St. Dumas. Bruce knew this and still had Jean become Batman. This worsened his condition to the point he started seeing visions and sleeping in the Bat-Cave. Those around him were unsympathetic. Alfred bailed and Robin high-tailed it when Jean needed his help the most. He was abandoned to be Batman all by himself.

And what did he get for all of his efforts? An ass-kicking by Bruce. Jean Paul Valley is the only sympathetic character in the entirety of Knightfall. Everyone else is a complete dick.

>>940381

>Alfred bails

>robin runs away

>Bruce show him the finger

He have forcely shown the door to Alfred saying if he saw him in the manor again would threat him as a intruder

He actually tried to choke Tim when found him in the batcave afterwards walling him out and making Quasimodo Harold run for his life and hide in a hole in the batcave

When Bruce came back to stop his lethal spree he told him was old and should step down to make him the rightful owner of the cowl

Babe see it's a shitty replace and doesn't even bother fighting him and azrel throw a hissy fit

Even fucking Gordon notice he ain't the real deal

>muh azrel dindunuffin he wuz a goodboi

>was hwity people St Dumas fault for making him bad

I want edgy batfags apologist to leave and never come back

>>940384

>He actually tried to choke Tim when found him in the batcave afterwards walling him out

Yeah, no. Tim's a fucking dick.

>>940386

>while azarel chokes him, ready to rip his rib cage open

>he escape and get more threats

>Tim is the dick

How does it taste the cum of a crazy whack job like azrel in the mouth faggot?

>>940384

>Babe

>>940392

Adventures of Superman #497 has no ads. I'm already disappointed.

Superman's still chasing Doomsday, because fuck you he's Doomsday. Meanwhile, the Justice League is done and that kid and his mom are going to die in a fire screaming to Superman for help. It's then that Jerry Ordway said "wait, fucking Jurgens wrote what?" and Superman realizes he's fucking Superman and Superman fucking saves people.

>>940502

So Superman does the first intelligent thing anyone's done in this arc and throws Doomsday into a fucking lake. That gives Superman enough time to save the family, something he should've fucking done in the first place.

While that's happening, Doomsday fucks a helicopter and lands in a small town ready to fuck it too. Of course, that small town is in Kirby County, which earned an audible sigh from me.

>>940504

"WOOOOWEEE, DEM BIG GOOD OLE BOYS BE RIPPEN UP OUR STREETS WHIT DEM FIGHTIN'! GADZOOKS! BETTER CALL OUT THE BLUE BOYS!"

I fucking hate the hick town they're fighting in. Doomsday demolishing it could only be an improvement.

As Doomsday rapes another helicopter and Maxima shows up, we cut back to the Daily Planet! Lois Lane has a big scoop! She's got to cover the big fight with the rock monster and need's Jimmy's help to do it!

>>940505

>Unstoppable killing machine fucking everything up

You know, there's only one sane solution to this mess: Call Orion. He'll fix this shit real quick.

>>940505

>the turtle boy show

I want to punch this comic. Shit like Jimmy Olsen Giant Turtle Man shouldn't be a show in the comic. It should remain canon. DC should always hold as the bedrock of Superman, regardless of any reboots or continuity changes, that there was a time when Jimmy Olsen became a super-menace and Superman had to remove him from the earth.

So far, in Doomsday's path of destruction, he's killed thirty people. That's thirty people too many. Luthor watches the entire thing from his awkward sky-scraper with his protoplasmic Super-Girl by his side. That's something I didn't want to remember. The whole thing where John Bryne was so autistic over Superman being the last Kryptonian that he made Super-Girl a fucking slime girl thing.

Maxima punches Doomsday through a store. Then she gets punched into a gas-station. Then throws a van on her. Superman follows this by kicking Doomsday. Finally, as gasoline is spraying all over the fucking place, Maxima thinks it's a really good idea to rip up street-lamps connected to live power-lines.

>>940511

So kaboom, everybody gets knocked out in an explosion. Everybody except Doomsday. Because fuck you he's Doomsday.

Guardian shows up. The last thing I read of The Guardian was Jack Kirby's run on Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen, where he was an awesome clone ready for battle who fought a giant mutant Jimmy Olsen. It was fucking great. Now, seeing him on a gay-ass motorcycle, lacking the powerful bellow of Kirby Speak, makes realize that a little part of me had some enjoyment for this, and that little part just died.

Stay tuned for the next exciting issue where we visit Lex Luthor's Wal-Mart chain and Doomsday gets into professional wrestling.

>>940511

>>938237

>Of all the places in the world, Luthor chose the emu empire for the birthplace of his "son"

I'll never understand why the 90's were so obsessed with that country.

>>940520

>Doomsday gets into professional wrestling.

And he jobs to Roman Reigns ?

>>940527

>I get the idea, clean up the continuity….but problem is, they haven't clean it up, just added more headaches.

That's because instead of actually cleaning up the continuity, they just handed the books over to individual creators and told them to nuts. The result was new canons that were broken from the start and had to be perpetually retconned to allow even the smallest changes.

The worst part is that DC still keeps doing this for all of their reboots. Instead just writing a simple and flexible continuity to allow for multiple writers, they keep handing it over to retards who then create even more broken canons. It's insanity.

>>940730

>with every Silver Age story being an AU in of it self

That wasn't the case. DC had "multiple earths". For example, Earth 2 was home to the Justice Society and Earth 3 was home to the Crime Syndicate. Each earth was distinct and helped DC sort out all the characters they acquired through buy-outs so they didn't make each other redundant. Captain Marvel had his own earth, Charlton characters had their own earth, etc. It was all neatly cataloged, and for the most part easy to understand though shit got complicated when somebody remembered that Superman was part of the Justice Society and decided there needed to be a version of him on Earth 2

Then Marvel gets popular. Marvel had a single universe where all of their characters could meet each other. This worked because nearly all of the major characters were created by one guy Jack Kirby. DC decided that it wanted that single universe for it's characters. They took their multiple earths, added a fuck-ton to make shit look really complicated, and began "Crises on Infinite Earths". Where before was seamless progression became splintered into different earths, all of which were destroyed to create a single earth.

Which leaves us where we are today, and to the subject of this thread.

It's Action Comics #684! More sucking Doomsday rock cock and more watching them completely desecrate places I never expected them to desecrate.

As Superman monologues about how Doomsday is the fucking toughest fucker around, I'm reminded of the Captain Marvel villain Mr. Atom. Mr. Atom was an invincible robot and the only villain that Captain Marvel faced that could trade blows with him. Captain Marvel beat him by being just a little bit stronger, but in the end, he couldn't destroy Mr. Atom. Imprisoned within the strongest cell ever constructed, isolated from the outside world, Mr. Atom vowed revenge and his immortal existence served as a never-ending threat to man-kind.

I take all that in, appreciating that Mr. Atom was a metaphor for the atomic bomb. Then I look at Doomsday and wonder where everything went wrong.

>>940863

Doomsday, after wrecking more of our national infrastructure, decides he needs to check out the great deals at LexMart. Zach Synder shouldn't have based Lex Luthor on Zuckerberg, but on Sam Walton.

It's within it's aisles of cheaply made goods that Doomsday finds his calling. A television speaks to him. He hears the message that gives his life purpose and meaning:

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! OH YEAAAH!

STEEL CAGE MATCHES! TAG TEAMS! GRUDGE MATCHES! ALL THAT AND MORE AT WAR-BASH 9000! THIS WEEKEND AT METROPOLIS ARENA!

And that's how Doomsday learned about Metropolis and got the motivation to go there.

>>940865

As Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, and Super Slime look on, Superman gets his ass kicked all over the place. In the midst of battle, Doomsday looks up and sees a sign. Metropolis, only 60 miles! Doomsday's dream is within his grasp!

Too bad Superman has to be a dick and throw Doomsday fifty miles away.

>>940863

>I take all that in, appreciating that Mr. Atom was a metaphor for the atomic bomb.

Can't have such deep thinking in funny books, man.

>>940868

No No No No No NO! Don't destroy the fucking biker tree-fort from Jimmy Olsen #134! Why? Why are you fucking doing this? Go destroy Smallville or The Daily Planet building! Leave obscure shit like the biker tree-fort alone, you heathens!

>>940873

Doomsday is able to kick debris hard enough to simulate an explosion. How is he able to do this? Fuck you, he's Doomsday.

As Superman and Guardian lie unconscious under the ruins of one of my favorite Jack Kirby creations, Doomsday jumps all the way to Metropolis. Enough filler, onto the meat.

Stay tuned for the next exciting issue where we see some tracings of Jack Kirby art and Super-Slime's face goes splat.

>>940874

Oh, one last thing.

We're close.

I think Doomsday could be more interesting if he was more like Stitch.

This is just boring to watch, and its clear as day that really he isn't much of a threat. I mean yeah, he smashes stuff, but that's all he can really do. Like in theory he's supposed to be able to Destroy Worlds but I don't see it. Without Intelligence, or planning the best he could do is maybe deforest a Continent.

If he was more like Stitch, and had protocols to fuck things up built into him, then it could be more interesting.

>>940865

Fuck, now I want to see Doomsday jobbing to the Hulkster for shits and giggles

…Actually, no, this is 1992 and Bret's the champ, and we need to put over the Hitman big so the public won't notice the steroid scandal

>>940886

Doomsday? Act like a fucking "character"?

What are you? Some kind of fag?

>>940891

>I would maybe like Superman to Somehow Redeem Doomsday

>How Superman can reach even what is believed to be unreachable

Doing the impossible? Seeing the invisible? That shit is for faggot anime, not mature and realistic western comics.

>>940905

>That shit is for faggot anime

I'm sad but it appears its too faggoty even for anime. Anime just had to over-invest in a niche audience with no interest in catharsis or the concept of initial investment then payoff, and just wish to see power fantasy taken to such extremes it's nearly sickening.

Unlike Comic books. Those are completely different. Those are about telling that niche (that they dug themselves into a hole with) how shitty they are, and how much more mature they are then them, and how all the characters would be better as black, miserable or/and hyper stupid pretty millennials.

You know, what the MATURE way is. Checkmate Weebatron! Go enjoy some good media you QUEER!

>>940912

Well that got depressing.

>>940912

>Those are about telling that niche (that they dug themselves into a hole with) how shitty they are, and how much more mature they are then them, and how all the characters would be better as black, miserable or/and hyper stupid pretty millennials.

Even if it's satire, it still hurts anon

Superman: The Man of Steel #19 has ads! Oh, and probably other things.

Doomsday has arrived at Metropolis, and he apparently is no longer satisfied wrecking property. Now he's just killing individual people. Guess all the destruction wasn't enough to make Doomsday look bad enough.

Oh, and more Doomsday dick sucking.

>>941194

We finally get our answer to the question of "why didn't Superman just carry Doomsday to space?" Well, apparently Doomsday has the squirming ability of a 1 year old child, making it difficult for Superman to hold onto him. Which is why he couldn't haul his ass into space.

Guardian, meanwhile, receives a message from Dubblix, as indicated by a probable tracing of Jack Kirby's art of the character. Dubblix was a member of the DNAliens, a group of genetically modified humans that Jack Kirby cooked up. They featured heavily in his Jimmy Olsen run and were one of those crazy awesome ideas you'd expect from The King.

Of course all of Jack Kirby's ideas while at DC were an example of "pearls before swine", and DC promptly squandered the amazing creations they were given.

>>941197

Doomsday falls with enough force that he ends up in the underground rape monster tunnels from Superman: The Man of Steel #17( >>937968) and frees the rebel underworlders from imprisonment. He then kills all of them off screen and Superman just shows up to grab Doomsday.

Really, I thought I missed a page there, but nope. Somebody wanted those assholes dead but also had to make sure the issue set up the next one.

>>941201

Doomsday catches his foot on an underground power-line and the entire underground, made up of mutants and homeless people, goes up in a monumental explosion. Well, that at least takes care of the whole "bum monster society living underneath Metropolis" problem.

The eruption, which brought Metropolis's homeless population down to zero, is enough that it rocks the mighty Lexcorp tower! Luthor goes on some standard nineties badguy crap of blaming the hero, but Super-Slime acts!

And promptly gets her face splattered across Doomsday's fist.

>>941209

SASSY PRODUCTIONS HAS GENUINE PREHISTORIC POOP FOR SALE!

Back in the comic, Doctor Emile Hamilton fires a beam that causes non-stop explosions. Explosions so great that I have trouble figuring out whats happening. Since this prevents me from actually reading the comic, I'll take a moment to consider whatever happened to Professor Potter.

>>941212

Look guys! It's Terrible Turpin! It's the actual Terrible Turpin, not the Turpin from the animated series which was redesigned to look like Jack Kirby. The last time I read something with him in it was New Gods #5 where he fought Kalibak. Seeing him here is just another thing that causes a pang of disappointment to shoot through the shriveled mass I call my heart.

By his side is Maggie Sawyer. She was meant to be a lesbian, and while this was a subtle in the animated series, in the comics they hit you with it like a brick. Look at her there and just try to tell me she isn't a bull dyke.

I'd talk about the action, but everything anyone does here is massively ineffective. Except for American Comics Holiday Sale. They probably did gangbusters.

>>941209

>>941212

I feel pity for readers in the 90's.

>>941218

So as the Cadmus jet guys go pew pew, Doomsday and Superman engage in mortal combat! The entire history of Superman, neigh all comics, all riding on a super-powered version of a parking lot fist-fight.

Stay tuned for the next issue where we question just how much access should the press have to active major disasters.

Oh, and Superman dies. That's a thing that happens too.

>>941209

I want to bring this up in response to faggots bemoaning that comics were once good. Here we have Superman in the fight of his life, with Metropolis going up in smoke, and Lex Luthor, his greatest enemy, is just sitting on his ass. Doing nothing.

Since 1986 this medium has been nothing but blue balls.

IT'S TIME

Superman #75. The highest selling comic of all time.

Superman and Doomsday continue to fight it out. The entire fate of the DC universe, from now until forever, turns upon this non-stop punch fest.

And even more helicopters are destroyed.

>>941543

I really want to feel like this fight is meaningful, that I should take it in with sober reflection, but the entire thing is so dumb.

Why does Superman have to stop Doomsday now? This is where having the villain be an actual character would help justify those sort of actions.

>>941547

Gotta sell those trading cards.

Lois is getting in the way, again. Seriously Lois, it's a fucking rock man that wrecked everything on his way here. Fucking give him some space and wait for him to leave. The previous issues clearly showed that Doomsday can't tell if people are dead or not. If you ever find yourself confronted by a rock covered man mountain with a thirst for destruction, remember to lie down and play dead.

>>941548

SUPER-FIST RIGHT UP DOOMSDAY'S ASS

As Doomsday reels from Superman annihilating his sphincter, Lois asks an important question: "What does Doomsday want?"

No-one in this arc ever asked this question. Nobody has tried to reason with Doomsday, either through words or through mental contact, in order to find out why he's destroying everything. Instead everyone just attacked him without any attempt to understand him.

If only they knew of Doomsday's dream of becoming a professional wrestler, then maybe all of this pain could've been avoided.

>>941550

The thunderous blows rock the city. Over and over they assault each other, demanding the other yield. Blood covers the man of steel's body as he pounds his opponent over and over again, his own flesh just as broken. Their strength nearly at an end. It looks like on this sad day, people will remember

AMERICAN COMICS & ENTERTAINMENT'S MEGA-SALE! ALL ORDERS POST-MARKED BY NOVEMBER 14TH GET 20% OFF!

>>941553

The unthinkable has happened.

>>941555

Superman, on this day, died.

Let's all have a moment of silence for the late, great, Man of Steel.

>>941558

Well enough of that shit. My copy of Superman #75 is the deluxe edition, so let's see what crap we got with it.

We've got a commemorative mourning armband. Now we too can pretend that we've lost a loved one, or be accidentally mistaken for a member of some fascist movement!

A special edition trading card! That's also an ad! And has a big "PROTOTYPE" stamped on it!

An actual obituary for Superman! That's printed through the spine so nobody can actually read it!

And finally, stamps! Completely unusable, utterly baffling stamps!

>>941562

To cap the entire Death of Superman experience, this historic issue comes in it's own polybag so it can be preserved for generations to come.

Now that Superman has finally kicked the bucket, stay tuned for the next exciting issue where

THE REAL BULLSHIT STARTS

>>941558

This entire arc reminds me of this criticism, especially in light of the incredible amount of destruction we've just witnessed.

Superman's death here is completely meaningless.

>>941613

Superman #75 sold out of 3 million issues the first day of release. X-Men #1 and X-Force were pre-orders and actual sales of X-Men #1 were only 3 million over the course of it's run. This is why it could be said that Superman #75 was the highest selling comic of all time, as there's actual reports of it's sales to actual customers. Meanwhile, there are so many copies of X-Men #1 floating around that they often sell for below their cover price.

Also, X-Men #1 was a massive disaster for comic shops. They sold only around 3 million copies of 8.5 million ordered. Over half of what they ordered didn't sell.

>>941618

>I think another thing was they had to make everybody a moron to make Doomsday a threat.

Welcome to modern comics. That scenario has been every single comic arc since 1988.

Take Knightfall for example. I love Knightfall, but think everyone can agree that Batman was goddamn retarded in that arc. Not only did he let Bane play him like a fiddle, he didn't even go after Bane's incredibly obvious weakpoint, something other media didn't hesitate to point out.

Oh boy. Now begins the whole "Funeral for a Friend" part of "The Death of Superman" saga, where the whole thing calcifies from "stupid" into "deceitful".

But that's a discussion for later, right now we've got Justice League America #70, where what remains of the Justice League comes to grips with their feelings of loss and failure.