No.1049606
A tale of hedgehogs and horror, eternally retold.
Today marks the beginning of the annual celebration of the birth of God's Mistake, Christopher Christian Christine Weston Chandler, CHRIS-CHAN! To commemorate this horrifying joyous event, I will be sharing his sacred gospel, SONICHU, from now until next Sunday, Christian Love Day!
Put on your medallions and open your cans of orange Fanta! It's time to
ZAP TO THE EXTREME!
No.1049615
>>1049614
The End of SONICHU #0
No.1049640
>>1049606
Fuck you you deserve to die why would you do this to people.
No.1049642
>>1049640
Because it's going to be Chris-Chan's birthday.
He's turning 37 this year.
No.1049644
>>1049642
Oh wow, and still alive. Well…the human spirit…perseveres…I guess?
No.1049650
>>1049644
I prefer "evil endures".
No.1049677
>>1049657
This is evidence there is a hell and we are in it.
No.1049679
>>1049642
thirty seven years of serving as an example of why women who are over forty shouldn't have children
No.1049695
This is all well and good (37?? Holy shit!), but I miss the commentary from last year. Best part about that dump. I suppouse not everybody can do it, but I enjoyed reading OP's thoughts on the events transpiring on the pages. Thanks for reminding us of his most unholy's autistic birthday. Do you think he will finally merge with his Sega Saturn counterpart and become a Compile Heart? Why did Chris-chan have to discover Neptunia?
No.1049739
>>1049695
Oh, I just wanted to get the thread started. Of course I can give commentary on them.
>>1049607
It still astounds me how forthcoming Chris is with personal information. He's given us detailed accounts of the rich real-life origins for every single character he has ever created, nearly always unprompted.
Sonichu was created on the 17th of March, 2000. Struggling with a CD Album Cover assignment that forbade the use of copyrighted characters, Chris was suddenly stuck with a flash of inspiration. He would combine his two favorite copy-righted series, Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon, to create a new character to fulfill his assignment. Thus, Sonichu was born. Chris was 18 at the time. He got an A+.
In addition to his characters, Chris has shared personal details of his life, also unprompted, which are absolutely terrifying.
>>1049608
If it you're getting the feeling that there's going to be an actual plot, ignore it. All of it becomes irrelevant in a couple issues.
>>1049609
This is the start of real people in Chris's life entering the comic as characters.
You've got Mary Lee Walsh, Dean of Student Affairs at Piedmont Virginia Community College (Chris's Alma Mater), who tore down Chris's attraction signs a sign Chris used to, or possibly still does, put up to inform girls that he's single and looking to mingle and eventually suspended him after he continued putting up signs.
There's Sarah Hammer (in Rosechu form), a female friend from Chris's childhood who's relationship with Wes Iseli (there in Sonichu form) was arguably the catalyst for Chris's Love Quest.
Even the Jerkops are real people, representing the numerous security officers who have kicked Chris out of a number of establishments.
>>1049611
>>1049612
>>1049613
Chris's attempts at stories that aren't about his own life are unspeakably dull. They're only good for noticing details like the appearance of Son-Chu, Chris's 1994 Ford Escort station wagon that Chris drove until 2013, or the highly inaccurate depictions of Chris's mother, Barb.
>>1049614
>>1049615
Sub-Episode #1 is a retelling of an incident that happened to Chris on September 11th, 2004. On that date, Chris was detained by Charlottesville Fashion Square security after months of loitering and continually arguing with staff. In this dramatization, seen through Chris's absolutely enormous ego and utter lack of empathy, Chris isn't just victorious, but cruelly crushes those in the way of his of Love Quest.
And this is only the beginning.
No.1049741
>Chris goes to conventions
>gets to meet cute girls and see cosplay of his characters
>Chris looks like he's finally got his shit together
>Chris gets kicked out of cons for being a creepy weirdo
Oh Chris, you never change.
No.1049773
No.1049779
>tfw there will never be a lolcow like classic chris ever again and on the off chance one pops up he will be ruined by kiwifags and spergs trying to be the next Clyde Cash
No.1049784
His entire life is fucking fascinating,when asked about chris i literally dont know where to begin.
Maybe the Trolls?The first saga?His childhood?His Parents?
It shows exactly why autistic people need to be supervised when searching the internet and women over 40 should not have kids.
No.1049802
Sonichu #2 introduces Blachu, the Black Sonichu. Aside from being part cherry cola, there's not much to say about him except maybe nigger jokes.
No.1049803
>>1049802
I forgot this also introduced Bill the Scientist, one of the characters that would star in the troll comic Moon-Pals.
No.1049805
>>1049804
As Blachu kidnaps Rosechu, I want to draw your attention to her ringtone in page 14. That is subtle example of how Chris lives in a weird time-warp. This comic came out in 2005. The ringtone, which is specifically For You I Will by Monica, came out in 1996, nine years before this comic, and was included in the Space Jam soundtrack. Since Chris gets a lot of his information from media, I'm assuming the last point isn't a coincidence.
I should inform everyone who's reading this and isn't up on the whole Chris-Chan, Chris-Chan is severely autistic. I mean he's been diagnosed as autistic. Shocking, I know. That fact will go a long way to explaining things like stopping the action for Sonichu and Sonic to meet or having maps detailing what character is where.
His autism is also a contributing factor toward Chris's tenuous grasp on reality. Chris has a near incredible inability to distinguish between his fantasies and reality. Chris's resulting mental instability will become very important later.
No.1049809
>>1049805
If you've noticed, Chris includes ads for games starring Sonichu. He's had a life-long dream of having a Sonichu video game, but he's never really expanded on what he wants that game to be. It's generally understood that Chris basically wants a Sonic game or a Pokemon game, just with Sonichu.
While the video games don't exist, the Sonichu Pokemon cards do. Sort-of. Chris made his own Pokemon cards with Sonichu drawn on them. He even tried to use them in actual matches, but had given up on that endeavor by the time he was discovered in 2007.
No.1049811
>>1049809
I guess having one evil double wasn't enough so we get another.
No.1049816
>>1049812
Sub-Episode #2 chronicles how Chris got banned from the Charlottesville Fashion Square mall a second time, except leaving out the whole "getting banned" part. In those days Chris loitered in the mall with his Attraction Sign on display, so a girl who worked at the mall's Starbucks decided to tease him by pretending she was interested.
The results are as follows.
No.1049818
>>1049816
In addition to leaving out the whole "getting banned" part, Chris also included Rosechu for some reason.
Chris's "Heart Level" is featured prominently in this story. The "Heart Level" is how Chris measures his emotional state. The higher his "Heart Level", the happier he is. The lower it is, the sadder Chris is.
No.1049823
>>1049818
At the end of ''Sonichu" #1, when the girl reveals she was only trolling him, Chris falls to his knees and screams a dramatic "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chris apparently did this in real-life, in public, and it resulted in his second ban from Charlottesville Fashion Square.
Speaking of which, the list of places that Chris has been banned from is rather impressive. He managed to get banned from two churches of separate denominations.
No.1049933
>>1049802
Why did Chris make Blachu part-cherry cola?
No.1049934
>>1049695
Actually it was his troll handler that showed Neptunia to him.
No.1049937
With Sonichu #2, Chris becomes the main character proper and all pretense that this book was about anyone other than him is dropped.
Which starts with Chris gaining powers to transform into his own Sonichu, thus pushing Sonichu nearly out of the book.
No.1049938
>>1049937
Chris turns out to be the reincarnation of an ancient leader of the Cherokee Indians. Chris for a long time believed that he had Cherokee ancestry on his father's side. Chris subsequently identified as a member of the tribe whenever it was convenient namely whenever he got trolled or when he thought it would get him pussy, despite being completely ignorant of actual Cherokees. Chris took a DNA test in 2018 and it's results dispelled any notion of him having any Indian ancestry. It did show, however, that Chris was 0.1% Jew.
The Ancient Prophecy also chooses Sarah Hammer and Wes Iesli for incredible hedgehog powers. As I mentioned with Issue #0, these are real people that were in Chris's life. Sarah was a childhood friend of Chris's and Wes was her one-time boyfriend. It's their relationship that arguably started Chris's "Love Quest". Seeing them together was deeply traumatic for Chris, leaving him seething with jealousy. He described it as "losing Sarah", as if she was his to lose.
Rounding out we've got an ad for Axe Body Spray. Chris used to drench himself in the stuff, often going for days, maybe weeks, without a shower because he thought Axe did the job. Chris has currently switched from his tried and true Axe to Secret Outlast, a deodorant for women. His terrible hygiene has remained the same.
No.1049939
>>1049938
Of course, since Sarah and Wes being together was so deeply traumatic for Chris, Wes needs to be the villain.
I believe this was written sometime after Sarah and Wes broke up, but keep an eye out for Chris projecting himself on Wes Li.
No.1049940
>>1049939
It's important to note that, in real life, Sarah saw Chris as nothing more than a friend, and Wes was barely even aware Chris existed. Wes doesn't seem to be aware of Chris's one-sided feud with him and has made no statements about Chris when contacted by trolls.
No.1049943
>>1049940
Oh, I forgot to point out BUT DURING THE STONE AGE.
No.1049944
>>1049943
Chris is subconsciously talking through Wes.
No.1049946
>>1049944
We her unceremoniously introduced to the big villain of Chris's world, Count Graduon, the living embodiment of Chris's graduation from high-school. Chris regards his graduation as an event that threw him from a place of comfort, where he received praise for his achievements and numerous friends, into the cold, cruel world where people expected him to act like an adult.
No.1049947
>>1049946
After an epilogue reads more like a eulogy, we get Sub-Episode #3, which is a retelling of Chris's life-changing encounter of Mary Lee Walsh, Dean of Student Affairs at Piedmont Virginia Community College.
After high-school, Chris's parents chose for him to get an education in Computer-Aided Drafting and Design from Piedmont Virginia Community College, PVCC for short. It is there he would begin his "Love Quest" in earnest, and there he would encounter the first real authority in his life. After loitering in the halls next to his Attraction Sign, he came to the attention of Mary Lee Walsh, who tolerated none of his foolishness and told him to knock it off, presumably because Chris's actions could be seen as soliciting sex. In the face of such resistance, Chris inundated PVCC campus with copies of Sonichu's News Dash, a newsletter chiefly about Chris and his need for a girlfriend. This earned him another meeting with Walsh, a meeting where Chris spoke as Sonichu and performed a loud Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a ritual Chris believes allows him to place magical hexes on others.
Chris promptly escalated the situation by sending Walsh an angry note, which constituted harassment. After several campus hearings concerning Chris's behavior, Chris was suspended from PVCC for one year and was required to take anger management classes, get a psychological evaluation, and receive "social skills counseling".
Ever since, Chris has never forgiven her for daring to hold him to a standard.
No.1049949
>>1049948
Sonichu #1 ends. After barely two issues, Chris takes over his own comic and has made the main character merely an extra.
No.1049960
I always found Sonichu endearing, at least the earlier parts when it was trying to be wholesome and family friendly. Sure, it's creepy coming from a grown man, but there was a sort of stupid innocence about it.
I think most people had a comic idea when they were younger, and a lot of them had a self-insert of some kind. I know I did. Hell, how many people have wanted to write a fan comic that is essentially a tribute to their favourite author or character?
No.1049963
>>1049960
Modern Sonichu is just boring now, you can tell the inner circle has no understanding of what made it so bad its good.
No.1049966
>>1049963
Well that's what trolling endlessly for almost 10 years does to you.
No.1049979
>>1049960
>Sure, it's creepy coming from a grown man, but there was a sort of stupid innocence about it.
That's kind of the point, really. The whole thing is drawn and (mostly) written like it was done by a child. An especially verbose child, but still. It's the fact that it was entirely done by an adult that makes it as funny as it is. If this were all just done by an actual child it wouldn't really be all that funny, it would just be a normal awkward and childish thing that kids do. I don't have a problem with it, but I do have a laugh about it.
The real shit is when Chris himself started to go downhill even more and the comics followed suit, becoming more degenerate and weird. That's when it gets fucked up and stops just being a humorous curiosity. Part of me can't help but pity Chris. I know he's done a lot of shitty things that can't be excused by autism, but he's just so dysfunctional that I still feel bad for his affliction.
No.1049980
>>1049979
I just hate this fucking tranny era, its more sad than funny.
No.1049987
Has anyone bothered making a huge PDF of every sonichu shit or just PDFs on every 'issue'
No.1050018
>>1049979
>>1049980
>pitying Chris
You know, I often feel as you do, but then Chris does something that instantly reminds me that he's a loathsome human being.
Like, Chris has recently took in some sick kittens and he claimed he couldn't afford their medicine. The trolls undertook a fundraising effort to ship the medicine directly to Chris, over Chris's protests that he'd just prefer the money. One of the trolls called Chris's vet and it turned out Chris was lying the entire time. Chris already had the medication in his possession. The whole thing was a scam Chris was pulling to get money for video games. Chris continued to beg for money despite being called out on his lie.
It's situations like above that reminds you that Chris kinda deserves the shit he gets. Chris does a good thing and immediately tries to exploit it.
No.1050019
Sonichu#3 is the origin of the Chaotic Combo. It's more of Issue #0 and Issue#1. Not as interesting as his self-inserts, but still full of Chris's bizarre writing.
Like Wild Sonichu wanting "Coco Soup". Just try to figure out what the hell that means.
No.1050020
>>1050019
BOULDER-DROPPING WHALE DROPS BOULDER!
IT'S SUPER-EFFECTIVE!
No.1050021
>>1050020
Chris draws his own version of MySpace and he has only one friend, Sonichu. Not even MySpace Tom wants to be friends with him.
No.1050024
>>1050021
It just struck me that this is the exact same plot as Issue #1. You have other hedgehogs being born and training followed by a story where they all meet each other.
Except in this story they replaced Rosechu with a rock.
No.1050025
>>1050024
It even has the same maps as Issue #1.
No.1050027
>>1050026
After an advertisement for prostitution, we get Sub-Episode #4. As with the rest, this is a re-imagining of a real-life event, namely another event where his Attraction sign got him into trouble. This time it was at the McDonald's located in the Charllottesville Wal-Mart, and covers two incidents that got him banned from the store and in one case Chris nearly hit the Wal-Mart's manager with his car, something he's proud of.
Chris at the time, and in this comic, was wearing a pair of angel wing hair-clips he purchased at an anime convention. It's debatable if this was an early sign of his desire to be female.
No.1050028
>>1050027
By the way, The "B" in "B-Manajerk" stands for "Black".
No.1050029
>>1050028
Chris doesn't believe that laws or rules apply to him and that those attempting to enforce them are evil. Chris's legal history is testament to his beliefs.
No.1050030
>>1050029
The end of Sonichu#3. The worst is yet to come.
No.1050050
Most of Sonichu# 4 consists mostly of reprints of the previous sub-episodes. I'm not exactly clear why Chris departed from his previous formula. I'm skeptical that he included old material to meet some kind of deadline. My current theory was to make sure his readers were all up to speed for the book becoming solely about Chris and his life.
So I'm skipping ahead and starting with the new material, which is Sub-Episode #5, which is a continuation of the story from Sub-Episode #4. Things escalate to the point that Chris uses his Heart-Torch to summon his imaginary twin sister.
No.1050053
>>1050050
Crystal Weston Chandler, Chris's imaginary twin sister, stems from Chris's desire for a sibling to play with. Chris has only half-siblings, and since he was born to old people, most of them were well into adulthood when he was born.
There's also some debate if Crystal was a form of Chris's latent gender identity problems.
No.1050056
>>1050050
>My current theory was to make sure his readers were all up to speed for the book becoming solely about Chris and his life.
Oh, I know the actual reason. Wanna hear it?
No.1050057
No.1050061
>>1049784
>and women over 40 should not have kids.
Not just women, but men over 40 as well.
No.1050064
>>1050055
Continuing this issues theme, we move right into Sub-Episode 6. This episode is framed as a wild-life documentary educating the reader on "Jerk-ops" and their ways.
As mentioned before, Chris's has a very troubling view of rules and the law. He thinks that such things apply to others, namely trolls and anyone that Chris doesn't like, and that any attempt to apply them to him is clearly trying to impede his "Love Quest". As a result, he's come to view security guards and the police as personal enemies out to get him.
This view on regulations has netted Chris bans from at least nine establishments, one of which is enforced by court order, removal from the Cub Scouts, two churches, and a community college campus, and a rap sheet consisting of seven misdemeanors, three from hitting a man with his car and one from macing a store employee.
The only reason Chris isn't in jail is because of his autism.
No.1050066
>>1050064
Ignoring Chris's incestuous over-tones concerning his imaginary sister, Chris makes clear his contempt for officers of the law and security personal. He also displays his belief that all of these independent incidents are part of a grander conspiracy to prevent him from getting a girl friend.
As with most things in this comic, we're suddenly introduced to the villain ScotPalazzo. He's a combination of Il Palazzo, a character from the Kōshi Rikudō created and Shinichi Watanabe directed anime Excel Saga, and the manager of Charlottesville Fashion Square who was apparently named "Scott". I can't say I know much about the real life Scott, and ,despite being one of the only villains Chris has created that has a solid motivation for tormenting Chris, ScotPalazzo is the least developed of Chris's numerous enemies and does nothing for the rest of the series.
No.1050067
>>1050066
Sub-Episode 7 is another retelling, this time of when Chris abused the free-refill policy at Target, which led to an altercation that got the cops called on Chris. When the cops came, Chris attempted to run, which resulted in Chris getting hand-cuffed and charged with trespassing and disorderly conduct.
No.1050069
>>1050068
If there's one lesson you get from Sub-Episode 8, I hope it's "Don't run from the cops". Seriously, don't do it. They train for that shit and it'll only piss them off.
No.1050072
>>1050071
End of Sonichu #4.
No.1050097
>>1050057
Okay, the reason for Issue 4 being mostly Sub-Episodes is that Chris' mom told him to stop making him (most likely because they were deeply incriminating and not just cringe-inducing as all hell) and he, in his infinite autistic wisdom, decided to make 'em part of the main series because technically they wouldn't be Sub-Episodes anymore in his wonderful genius mind.
No.1050110
>>1050097
…Chris is so fucking stupid. Speaking of stupid, isn't his mother nearly ninety at this point?
No.1050111
>>1050110
Barb is just a walking corpse at this point.
No.1050137
CWC's comics will always be a step above political cartoons that just throw labels. CWC is a true misunderstood genius.
No.1050158
>>1049606
Who would have thought CWC would end up a tranny who genuinely believes MewTwo, Sonichu and a My little pony OC are his husbandss and that he has actual psychic powers that will merge dimensions.
Feels bad man.
No.1050165
>>1050158
Chris has always believed he had psychic powers. It isn't a new development.
No.1050191
>>1050158
Who would have thought that users on a pinoyan sand scratching forum would be discussing the works of a wannabe psychic who husbandos Mewtwo, a mutant pastel color horse and mutant hedgehog rat?
No.1050196
Sonichu #5 is arguably the beginning of the biggest saga of Chris's life and the first major story-arc of the Sonichu series. As such, Chris quickly dispenses with the Sarah/Chris/Wes story-line he started, using Sarah Hammer's real-life marriage as an excuse to end it.
I want to assure everyone that no, Sarah wasn't kidnapped on her wedding day by her ex-boyfriend, but Chris did attend in spirit. Chris wasn't invited to the ceremony.
No.1050198
>>1050196
The fact I can catch Chris's reference to Cutey Honey makes my skin crawl.
No.1050201
>>1050199
Megan Schroeder. A name that features prominently in Chris's history. Having met at Chris's local game store, the GAMe PLACe an establishment Chris would be banned from by court order in 2011 in 2004, Chris and Megan struck somewhat of a friendship over card games like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon. Chris would come to see Megan as his sweetheart, despite Megan's disinterest in him.
Megan would become the object of Chris's obsession, and their relationship influences Chris to this day.
No.1050202
>>1050201
Chris's desire for Megan wasn't just limited to his comic. In real life he attempted romantic gestures like trying to drag her on dates, attempting to snuggle with her, and putting his greasy hand on hers. As you'd imagine, Megan would find these advances incredible uncomfortable, and despite her numerous ploys to get him to stop, Chris persisted.
In reflection of her, Chris's style became more anime-esque. If you even could tell, that is.
No.1050203
>>1050202
Chris's thoughts in this comic reflects his own thinking. He could not conceive of why Megan wasn't responding to his advances.
Back to the actual story, Mary Lee Walsh enacts her plan to stop love of any kind. Chris, being the mayor of his own imaginary town, CWCville, addresses the public. He warns them of the difference between TRUE cops and the fake, evil Jerk-ops.
Again, Chris doesn't believe that laws apply to him, so the only TRUE cops are ones that let him do whatever he wants.
No.1050206
>>1050204
CADD Chef is another figure from Chris's life. He's the depiction of Chris's Computer Aided Drafting and Design professor from Piedmont Valley Community College. He gave Chris an "F".
No.1050209
>>1050208
Crystal Weston Chandler sacrifices herself for her brother and gets sealed in darkness for the rest of the comic.
Meanwhile, in another part of CWCville, the reaction of Chris briefly finding himself in the dark dimension causes Naitsirhc the guy from Issue #1 to undergo a terrifying transformation …
No.1050210
>>1050209
End of Sonichu #5
No.1050374
>>1050209
Thanks for continuing, but you missed page 44.
No.1050376
>>1050374
Dammit. Well, it's not a Chris-Chan thread without some fuck ups.
No.1050383
Sonichu #6 opens up with something rather sweet for a change. A little comic about Chris's dog, Patti, who passed away close to this comic's release. It's a little charming seeing Chris cope with the death of his beloved pet by making her anthropomorphic and taking her to live in his imaginary world.
In 2010, Chris would invoke the spirit of Patti to devour the soul of Alec Benson Leary, creator of the Sonichu parody comic Asperchu, but we'll just ignore that for now.
No.1050384
>>1050383
After being introduced to Chris's nasty ass room covered in Legos and toys, Chris takes Patti to CWCville through a portal hidden behind his Dance Dance Revolution mat.
While I did say this was rather sweet, I need to mention that Chris genuinely believes CWCville exists. That cartoons are real, his characters are real, and they all simply exist in a different dimension than our own. So fervent is his belief that lately he's come to believe that a dimensional merge is upon us, which will kill half the earth's population and leave Chris incredibly wealthy.
No.1050385
>>1050384
May you rest in peace Patti. You probably were a good dog.
No.1050386
>>1050385
Following that memorial to a beloved dog, we return to Chris's battle against Mary Lee Walsh.
No.1050390
>>1050386
Suddenly we cut to the Choatic Combo having a meeting at Chris's mayoral offices. Sonichu recounts having a dream where his father had long hair. That probably counts as prophecy.
We're now introduced to another of Chris's macguffins: The seven Sonichu balls, which are totally not a rip-off of the seven Chaos Emeralds, or the seven Dragon Balls. Only their completely random powers can free Crystal Weston Chandler from the dark mirror.
No.1050392
>>1050390
Just as we find out about Magi-Chan's two balls, there's an explosion from the mall that houses Chris's office. A new, green Sonichu is robbing a jewellery store of their Sonichu Ball!
Just who is this mysterious Sonichu?
No.1050394
>>1050392
Naitsirhc has been warped by the power of the dark mirror and transformed into a flaming homosexual.
At this time, Chris viewed homosexuality as a existential threat. He was absolutely terrified of becoming a homosexual and irrational feared that faggots would turn him into one of them. It's not really clear where Chris got his phobia from, but when this comic was made, the mere implication that Chris was gay was enough to raise his ire.
No.1050395
>>1050394
Thus, Chris battles his own latent homosexual urges in the pages of his comic.
No.1050397
>>1050396
That's not an orange Sonic. That's Bionic the Hedgehog, the basketball hedgehog.
No.1050398
>>1050397
End of Sonichu #6.
No.1050409
>>1050384
>the dimensional merge
I, for one, welcome our electric hedgehog pokemon overlords.
No.1050438
>>1050384
Wait, Chris is Thanos?
Dear God, we're fucked.
No.1050659
HAPPY CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY, /co/!
I'm sorry that I couldn't story-time yesterday. Something came up.
The seventeen months it took for Chris to to finish Sonichu #7 was the time that changed Chris's life forever. Chris would lose the Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap Showdown contest, the prize he believed necessary to achieving his goal of making Megan Schroeder his sweet heart. The internet would be made aware of Chris's existence, starting the stream of non-stop trolling and endless fascination that continues to this day. Finally, Chris would completely destroy his relationship with Megan.
We'll get to see the process of those events occurring in Sonichu #7, starting off with a continuation of Chris's belief that he's in a relationship with Megan. During all of this, I want to point out that Chris would later admit to Megan that he occasionally had to suppress the impulse to rape her.
No.1050661
>>1050659
The anime influence is strong in this issue.
In their search for the Sonichu Balls, the chaotic combo comes to the realization that they need to travel back in time to retrieve one of the balls. I guess Chris wanted to reminisce about his time as a high-school basketball team's water-boy.
No.1050663
>>1050661
Chris is referencing the 1986 Flimation cartoon. Ghostbusters. Just knowing the reference and knowing that Chris knows that reference makes me cringe until I become a black hole.
No.1050664
>>1050663
I think I speak for everyone when I say that Peter Griffen Chris-Chan looks closer to Chris's actual appearance than Chris's depiction of himself.
No.1050669
>>1050664
Chris wants to fuck Meg Griffen from Family Guy.
Magi-Chan, Sonichu, and Chris make it back to the past in their time hamster ball. Back to Manchester High School when Chris thought of coloring Sonic orange to make him basketball related. Young Chris hangs out with Joseph Herring, a loser with a face covered in boils and zits. Now, Joseph Herring has a page on the cwcki, and young Joseph appears to be a good-looking, clear skinned young man. Chris's depiction of him appears to be motivated by petty jealousy and a desire to make himself look handsome in comparison.
No.1050670
>>1050669
Chris mentions having to memorize his appearance in a mirror to know what he looked like. This a symptom of his autism. Chris has very poor to non-existent facial and vocal recognition skills, which has allowed trolls to harass him with ease. A 13-year-old boy pretended to be a woman on the phone and Chris fell for it. Trolls have posed as his potential sweet-heart, sending him pictures of completely different girls, down to the skin color, and Chris couldn't tell the difference. An entire saga, the Liquid Chris saga, was started because Chris genuinely believed that people would confuse some skinny guy that dressed like him with his own fat-ass.
Chris shares with us the creation of Orange Sonic and gets the Sonichu ball. However, as they're about to get back to 2007, disaster strikes.
No.1050672
>>1050670
The sudden stop of the Sonichu powered time hamster ball hurls Chris into the Time Void! It takes a full couple minutes for Sonichu and Magi-Chan to realize that Chris is gone. Perhaps its because they're dumb animals. Perhaps its because they want him to be gone. I mean, the first thing Sonichu does now that Chris is gone is fuck Rosechu.
What a time for Chris to be gone though. His enemies have regrouped, and with Chris's Mary Sue powers out of the way, they have a free hand to invade CWCville!
No.1050673
>>1050672
All of Chris's enemies have gathered in the PRIVATE VILLA OF THE CORRUPT CITIZENS to gloat over Chris's predicament, and there are a few new faces among them. Jason Kendrick Howell, and his sex-slave/girlfriend, Kathleen.
Who is Jason Kendrick Howell and why is he now in the ranks of Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon? Jason created the Encyclopedia Dramatica page on Chris-Chan.
No.1050675
>>1050673
In the Time Void, Chris is bombarded with all of the events from 2007 to 2008. Chris combating the "slanderous filth" about him on ED with more information about his life than anyone wanted to know. Chris posting art of him fingering Megan Schroeder to ED to combat everyone calling him gay which resulted in Megan Schroeder cutting off all contact with him. Joshua Martinez attempting to scam Chris out of a PSP which led to Chris's parents discovery that Chris was stealing money from them. A huge info-dump to make sure everyone reading was up to speed on the goings on in Chris's life.
The next story is about the local CWCville radio-station that plays everything from jazz to Appalachian jug blowing. It serves mostly to introduce Chris's new sweet-heart, Blanca.
Blanca was a troll, the first of many such characters in Chris's life.
No.1050677
>>1050675
So ends Sonichu #7. This was the first issue where the actions of trolls directly impacted the story.
It won't be the last.
No.1050702
>>1050677
So uhhh…which one of his parents raped this kid?
No.1050704
>>1050659
HAPPY CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!
No.1050705
>>1049695
>Neptunia
Was shit anyway.
No.1050707
>>1049784
>>1049657
SEGA has much to answer for.
No.1050712
>>1050675
>Chris posting art of him fingering Megan Schroeder to ED to combat everyone calling him gay which resulted in Megan Schroeder cutting off all contact with him
That whole saga is a fucking ride, man.
>Chris keeps horning on a girl despite her not being interested
>Tries to kiss her and shit
>Chris finds out about the ED page mocking him
>Decides to fill it with personal information to combat the mockery
>Chris uploads an image of him finger-banging the girl
>Someone removes the image only for Chris to put it back
>Trolls think it's Chris finger-banging his imaginary sister
>Chris corrects them by telling them it was that girl
>girl finds out and is pissed
>Chris thinks she's outraged because she doesn't understand what finger-banging is
>Chris then tells her he occasionally has the urge to rape her
>Whines more about ED bullying him
>Tells girl that he's the real victim here
>Girl cuts off all contact with him
And that's not even getting into half of that shit.
No.1050713
>>1050712
In April of last year, Chris sold the remains of ShecameforCWC.JPG on ebay for a $1000.
No.1050714
>>1050210
>putting art galleries in your own work, kinda making a comic mock-up as if you had fame and talent
Holy shit he's me age 6.
No.1050732
>>1050722
Nobody knows what it's like to be the
SHADMAN
No.1050753
>>1050712
>And that's not even getting into half of that shit.
Do please go on.
No.1050778
>>1050722
Does this mean we're getting more lolis in Sonichu?
No.1050790
Somebody put a Shadface on Chris.
No.1050803
>>1049779
>kiwifarms
Shit on them all you want, but I learned that they have plans in place for when Barb dies. They have fags nearby ready to drive over to Chris's house to help Chris manage his finances and potentially get him into an assisted living situation. The only thing hampering their intentions is that Chris intentionally alienates those not willing to do exactly what Chris wants to do.
And what Chris wants to do is this dimensional merge crap.
No.1050809
>>1050803
I'd settle for them convincing Chris to take a fucking shower and eat some real food so he stops crapping himself.
No.1050812
>>1050809
People have tried for twelve years to get Chris to change for the better, all to meet with miserable failure as Chris acted like an arrogant piece of shit and refused their advice.
That's always the twist people getting into Chris-Chan never see coming despite it being common knowledge: Chris is a horrible human-being.
No.1050912
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>1050753
The PaRappa the Rapper contest.
>2007, before ShecameforCWC.JPG
>Chris still desires Megan
>Megan has taken to avoiding Chris whenever possible
>Chris believes that all Megan needs is an opportunity to admit her feelings for him
>Chris finds out about a PaRappa the Rapper Rap contest
>Grand Prize is two PSPs and an All-Expenses-Paid trip to Seattle Washington
>The gears turn in Chris's mind
>He'd win the contest
>Give one of the PSPs to Megan
>Invite her on the Seattle trip
>Megan would give into her obvious passion for Chris and Chris would get his long desired China
>Chris puts his brilliant plan into action
>Chris enters the contest and films himself rapping to one of the songs in PaRappa the Rapper
>vid realted
>It goes about as well as you'd expect from Chris
>Chris submits his entry and begins a campaign of vote stuffing
>Goes to his local game store and hands people fliers telling them to vote for his video
>Badgered his estranged brother Cole Smithy into voting for him. Cole replies that he'll do it only if Chris asks their mother Barb the true identity of Cole's biological father
>Wrote ads on Myspace, PSN, and his personal web-sites telling people to vote for his video
>Created numerous sock-puppet accounts to vote on his video
>Wrote a glowing review of his video through one of his sock-puppets
>Chris was confident he would win
>Chris lost
>A man named Adam Stackhouse won with a far superior video
>Chris flipped the fuck out
>Accused Stackhouse of breaking the rules even though Chris broke the rules far worse than Stackhouse ever could
>Chris sent emails to Sony, begging for the first place prize, explaining that the prize was supposed to lead to him losing his much hated virginity, and accusing the company of discriminating against autists because they didn't give him special treatment
>Raged on his PSN blog about the injustice so much that he got banned
>Created a fake web-page declaring himself the winner
>Chris uploaded a video of him shooting a picture of Adam Stackhouse with a pellet gun for two minutes solid
>Whined non-stop to Megan over email. Megan told him she was glad he lost.
>Chris would hold a burning grudge against Adam Stackhouse for years afterward
Unlike a lot of stories concerning Chris, this one has a somewhat happy ending. Chris and Stackhouse met each other for the first time at MAGfest 2018. From their interactions, Chris has apparently let go of his hatred for the man. They even took a selfie together.
No.1050913
>>1050912
The selfie in question.
No.1050919
>>1050912
>A man named Adam Stackhouse won with a far superior video
Sadly, he didn't give his PSP to Megan
No.1050942
Christian Love day may have passed but the story-time continues.
Sonichu #8 includes straight up Sonichu porn presented under the pretense of being "sexual education".
No.1050944
>>1050942
Did you ever want to know the reproductive systems of Sonichus and Rosechus? You didn't?
Well too bad, you're finding out anyway.
No.1050946
>>1050944
It's nice to know that with their brutal dictator trapped in the time void, Sonichu and Rosechu engage in non-stop fucking.
Following that disgusting educational interlude, we get the plot of this issue: 4-Cent-Garbage has been posting slanderous lies about Chris and the Sonichu gang. The plot mirrors of Chris's own discovery and subsequent war against Encyclopedia Dramatica for daring to mock him.
I still marvel over Chris's brilliant solution to all the mockery: draw pornography of his own characters and flood the page with more details about himself than anyone ever wanted.
No.1050949
>>1050946
After even more horribly drawn pornography, all done to prove that Rosechu didn't have a penis, Sonichu, Rosechu, and Wild Sonichu arrive at the 4-Cent-Garbage Building in Clarksville, Tennessee. Why Clarksville Tennessee? Well because that's where Jason Kendrick Howell, the anon that created the page, lived.
No.1050955
>>1050949
Chris makes a bizarre reference to Gilligan's Island. Just another of those time warp references caused by Chris's parent's being old as balls when they had him.
Speaking of balls, Wild Sonichu heads off in search of one of the Sonichu Balls hidden in the 4-Cent-Garbage Building. Meanwhile, Sonichu and Rosechu attempt to get Jason Kendrick Howell to take down the page about Chris-Chan.
No.1050959
>>1050955
Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. -Genesis Ch. 45, Verse 5
Yeah, Chris ain't going to be holding onto that one for long.
No.1050965
>>1050959
Every time I see these pages, I get nostalgic for 2007-era cuckchan.
The 4-Cent-Garbage Building apparently has floors dedicated to single images of pornography and each part of a racist Obama joke. The best part of that joke is that this was before Obama was elected president.
No.1050966
>>1050965
Sonichu and Rosechu cheer as an X-Box 360 is cut in half. Chris for a long time harbored a hatred toward Microsoft consoles because they charged a fee for going online.
While Wild Sonichu sucks the newly found Sonichu Ball into his arms, Sonichu and Rosechu meet the vile troll known as Jason Kendrick Howell.
No.1050967
>>1050966
I don't think I need commentary here. Sonichu's speech does it all.
>""We humbly request that [chris's page] would be removed from the internet for good. For you are not just dragging Christian Weston Chandler's name in the mud, you also drag the American hopes and dreams of the majority of these great, humble, United States of America along with him. You've had your laughs, but ask yourself, is it really worth it to continue on with these slanders that drags the names of the good people within this country that was founded with love and peace withen it that those before us have fought valently to withold, that I was born and raised under the old glory that is the Red, White, and Blue. In my humble answer, I say NAY! What is your answer, Mister Howell?"" ~ Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu #8
No.1050970
>>1050967
As Wild Sonichu attempts to escape the building with the Sonichu Ball, Sonichu and Rosechu leave their meeting with Jason Kendrick Howell in failure. However, before they get out the door, Jason taunts them by throwing a pickle at Rosechu. Jason has inadvertently RELEASED THE BEAST!
Why a pickle? Chris hates pickles because they remind him of dicks.
No.1050971
>>1050970
This is horrifying.
No.1050972
>>1050971
Jason gets mauled by a naked, angry Rosechu, getting her nasty ass pussy in her face.
It probably smells like rotten fish. You're imagining that right now.
No.1050974
>>1050972
Having failed getting 4-Cent-Garbage to take down the page mocking them, Rosechu comes up with the idea of combating such negativity by doing a naked photo-shot with all of the Rosechus. Oh Chris.
And among these Rosechus is introduced a new one to their ranks: Simonla Rosechu. Simonla is going to get Chris in a lot of trouble come later, seeing as he stole the idea for her from a fan. That trouble is going to lead to the most gruesome moment in Sonichu canon.
No.1050977
>>1050974
Before you think it, no, Chris was talking about child labor laws, not the laws preventing underage children from appearing in pornography.
This brings Episode #17 to an end. Since Sonichu #8 is one of the longer issues, I'll storytime the rest of the issue tomorrow.
No.1050986
>>1050970
>>1050971
>>1050972
Aside from the obvious cringe and shitty artwork, I feel like if chris wasn't autistic he could have been a good writer.
The story here is actually pretty entertaining and although it's nonsensical it still manages to have an arc, tension, and proper payoff. It actually goes places, which is why I think Sonichu got a lot more initial attention than any other retarded faggot's fanfic at the time.
No.1051028
>>1050986
Would you say he is better than Linkara and his Lightbringer comic?
No.1051035
>>1050972
>>1050971
Why did she get naked though? Why did she shove her vagina in that man's face? Why did she need to do all that just to beat him up?
No.1051038
>>1051035
Imagine being a guy and than suddenly a woman puts her cunt on your face.
Thats unnecessary and weird.
No.1051047
>>1051035
Presumably that's necessary to use the "Psych-Up attack". It seems that female Electric-Hedgehog type Pokémon have evolved some sort of vagina-based attack because why else would the vaginal slit open when attacking? Either that or she is urinating or sexually aroused according to Chris.
Also I'm not much of a Pokémon expert but I thought "Psych-Up" is a stat adjustment move rather than an attacking move.
No.1051053
>>1051035
>>1051038
>>1051047
Chris drinks his own semen and cut himself open to free the vagina growing inside him.
You are in no position to question his vision.
No.1051054
I'm back with the second half of Sonichu #8, and we open up with all of the Sonichus and Rosechus celebrating their birthdays.
Because Chris needs them to be of legal age when they get down to fucking.
No.1051055
>>1051054
WOOO! SPRING BREAK IN CWCVILLE! WOOO!
No alcohol though. At this time, being in possession of or drinking alcohol was illegal in CWCville and could land you a $1,500 fine or ten years in prison. Instead, CWCville offers their famous grape and orange soda! The secret ingredient is Chris's sperm.
No.1051056
>>1051055
If you couldn't tell, this story is all about relationships and fucking.
No.1051057
>>1051056
We're introduced to a new, evil Rosechu: Silvania Rosechu. She's from the moon and gained dark powers from Count Graduon.
She also has a penis.
No.1051059
>>1051057
STOP EVERYTHING
THERE, ON PAGE 67
THERE HE IS
THE GREATEST AND MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IN THE SONICHU CANON
BEHOLD
YAWNING SQUIRTLE
No.1051061
>>1051059
Blachu finds out all there is to know about the Crying Game and Silvana Rosechu changes forms to bang Bubbles Rosechu. Just look at Punchy Sonichu's eyes on page 72.
Magi-Chan, being the omnipotent god that he is, is aware of Silvana plans and warns Bubbles that she's about to fuck a tranny. Bubbles tells Magi-Chan to fuck off.
No.1051064
>>1051061
Oh, but Bubbles will listen to some fucking character that she's never spoken to before.
No.1051065
>>1051064
Silvana's plot is foiled and Sonichu#8 ends with a mangled version of a fucking Hatsune Miku song.
Oh, and Chris casually mentions being responsible for the suicide of Clyde Cash's brother, Blanca turning out to be a troll, and that one of his "gal-pals" got killed by Optimus Prime. Tragic, but Chris has a new love now and her name is PandaHalo.
No.1051067
Chris really hs things thing for chicks with dicks doesn't he. Now that he's the girl, is he looking for a girlfriend free boyfriend to love and cherish or is he a dirty homo now?
No.1051080
>>1051055
>We've got coolers and kegs full of our famously delicious CWC-Cola, Diet CWC-Cola, lemonade, grape and orange soda, compliments of our local CWC-Cola bottling company, founded and opened proudly in 1985; three years after CWCville was founded by our mayor's father, Robert Franklin Chandler Jr.
Holy fucking run-on sentence. Why did he have to jam that much irrelevant bullshit in there? Was he drunk or somkey when he wrote this?
<She also has a penis.
The warning signs were there, and we were powerless to stop him.
>Pic related
How do you think 'Christine' feels about this line now?
>>1051067
He's still trying to get a girlfriend, last I checked. I think he worships the idea of femininity too much to ever try to be a """straight woman."""
No.1051112
>>1051080
No, he just likes to furiously masturbate to his self-importance.
No.1051114
>>1051047
This creeps me out more/ makes me cringe more than any shit I've seen since 12 years of lurking.
No.1051115
>>1051035
I understand the shit he does because he thinks like a fucking kid. When I was a 10 year old weeb comic artist and slowly got interested in pussy, I drew a moment where the only female character turned into a furry chick (for no reason, just to draw her semi naked), and she jumped someone right in his face, chocking him with her crotch before finishing him off (heh) with a leg scissor drop.
It's just art of an infantile guy who doesn't know what to do with his sexuality.
I've done just as cringy shit as him, my work was full of stolen characters from Digimon, videogames etc., the only difference was that internet sucked back then, so I thankfully wasn't able to make anything public.
No.1051128
>>1051080
>How do you think 'Christine' feels about this line now?
We've got an answer for that!
No.1051143
>>1051061
>Just look at Punchy Sonichu's eyes on page 72
No.1051277
It's Sonichu #9, and Chris is going to teach us everything we need to know about dating! There's so much we have yet to learn!
No.1051278
>>1051277
Our Sonichu and Rosechu pals all shuffle into a university classroom to learn Chris's ideas on dating and how it works. It involves dolls of his parents and arranged pairings.
We also meet Reginald, a new character who I assume is a deformed freak.
No.1051280
>>1051278
From the depths of the time-void, Chris sees his one-true sweet-heart, Ivy. So important is this meeting that God himself and Jesus appear before Chris to bless their union. Chris and Ivy being together is fulfillment of divine prophecy!
Actually, Ivy was a troll. A troll who became the subject of one of Chris's nastiest comics he's ever created. A comic that involved Chris tracing his penis.
Chris thinks that schools should randomly select mates for people in order to ease the social burden of courtship. He also thinks that courtship is best initiated under pseudonyms online. The less awkward face-to-face conversation the better.
We also get our first look at the currency of CWCville. CWCville issues it's own scrip that only has value within CWCville's boarders, like what's done in company towns, or cults, or isolated totalitarian countries. You know, to limit the freedom of it's citizens to leave. After-all, no-one outside of CWCville will honor your savings of C-Quarters and W-Quarters.
No.1051281
>>1051280
The cobbled together mess of Pokemon parts called Reginald will not be allow Punchy to take the girl he desires!
But anyway, the class consists of online chatting. This is best form of communication according to Chris.
No.1051282
>>1051281
So yeah, they of course fuck after-school.
That's what's dating is for, right?
No.1051283
>>1051282
Punchy Sonichu is such a player he takes that bitch to fucking McDonald's. Bitches love McDonald's.
Meanwhile Ivy panes for the boyfriend she hasn't met but was told by God that she'll be fucking him.
No.1051284
>>1051283
Next day, they've got a new teacher because the previous teacher was killed in a car accident. Sad, but we've got to get those dating class grades in!
Chris also provides a quiz to test your dating knowledge! I'll post the answers, along with the second half of the comic, tomorrow!
I'm not going to get into the Billy Mays stuff. It involves a 13-year-old-boy pretending to be a woman, a hacked PS3 account, and Chris shoving his beloved Sonichu Medallion up his ass.
No.1051414
>>1051284
After a night of passionate fucking, the Choatic Combo awaken to the sounds of running! The evil Sonichus are on the attack! Also, I'm just throwing this out here, but Angelica fucked in a church.
You might notice that Wes-Li Sonichu is back, but has a new name. This comic was made when Chris was in contact with a troll claiming to be Super Mario Bros. creator Shigeru Miyamoto. Through not real effort he convinced Chris that Nintendo was interested in producing a Sonichu game, but Chris needed to change the names of those involved, based on the advice of Nintendo's attorney, rapper Jay-Z. Chris as a result edited the comics to altered the names of real people to either anagrams or half-assed renames. Thus, Wes Iseli became "Walter Grisby". I encourage everyone to read the correspondence Chris had with "Miyamoto" for themselves on the cwciki. Chris's ego is staggering.
Sonichu, meanwhile, is too distracted by Rosechu's camel-toe to notice the commotion.
No.1051416
>>1051414
Sonichu flies into a rage at the thought of faggots using him as a symbol. SONICHU AND CHRIS ARE STRAIGHT! THEY LIKE THE CHINA! Well, maybe not anymore.
All Sonichu and Rosechu seem to do is fuck. The absence of Chris seems to have put his creations into estrus.
No.1051419
>>1051416
After being aware of Chris's banishment to the time void for several chapters, the Private Villa of Corrupt Citizens finally attack CWCVille. Again.
It goes about as well as you'd expect.
No.1051420
>>1051419
Oh, now we've got Transformers too.
No.1051432
>>1051423
I'm sorry I don't have any commentary for these fights. The action isn't that great and Chris always writes his heroes as OP as fuck. I could give less of a rats ass about it.
No.1051434
>>1051432
Of course, Chris's 1994 Ford Escort station wagon, Son-Chu, is a transformer.
However, since Chris no-longer drives his Ford Escort, I wonder if Son-Chu is still a Ford Escort canonically. Arguably, if Sonichu reflects Chris's life, then Son-Chu shouldn't exist in any form since he now drives his mom's Dodge Grand Caravan around.
No.1051435
>>1051434
In the attack, PandaHalo, Chris's previous sweet-heart, dies off-screen in a fire. Before Chris steals her characters for himself, that is.
In real-life, PandaHalo didn't die. She was a troll, telling Chris she got raped by the troll Clyde Cash and was having his baby. She then gave Chris an ultimatum: She would abort Clyde's rape-child and become Chris's wife if he contacted Nintendo to make Sonichu a reality. If he didn't, then she'd live with Clyde Cash and raise their child together. Even though Chris always wanted a Sonichu game, he decided even attempting that was too much work and just assumed she died in the 2009 Australian bush-fires.
Chris quickly moved on because Chris has as a serious lack of empathy.
No.1051436
>>1051435
Hey, we get a quick cameo from Liquid Chris!
Liquid Chris was one of the more bizarre Chris-Chan sagas. Some kid started impersonating Chris on youtube wearing a crude facsimile of Chris's attire. Chris genuinely believed that the impersonator was not only a perfect likeness of himself, but stole his identity for personal gain. Thus began a war between Chris and the trolls, with the trolls insisting that "Liquid Chris" was the real Chris and "Solid Chris" was the real identity thief named Ian Brandon Anderson. The whole thing was a testament to Chris-Chan's gullibility.
No.1051437
>>1051436
Great, more fights.
No.1051439
>>1051438
Oh, and Ivy's now dead too. She got strangled to death by elevator cables. She gets even less of a memorial than PandaHalo.
Anyway, Sonichu easily kicks Slaweel Ryam's (the new name for Mary Lee Walsh) ass.
No.1051441
>>1051439
Chris, no longer content taking a back-seat to the action, is freed from the time void. Chris is back in the book, and he's ready for a roaring rampage of revenge on the trolls who've tormented him! Blood will flow in the streets of CWCville!
Sonichu#9 ends, but Sonichu #10 is coming!
No.1051442
>>1051441
And as promised, here are the answers for Exam posted here >>1051284.
No.1051506
Now for something somewhat different. Outside of both the main episodes and the sub-episodes, Chris produced several "Sonichu Specials", intended only for his "gal-pals". These comics were only produced during the Ivy saga.
The first Sonichu Special is a story about Chris saving Ivy from the evil troll Clyde Cash.
No.1051508
>>1051507
Sonichu Special #1 ends with a shirtless Chris.
Nice.
No.1051512
It's Sonichu Special #2, and wedding bells are ringing as Chris dreams of his marriage to Ivy.
It is as bizarre as you'd imagine, with all of his characters in tuxes and a cat-man playing a piano. Though, should some poor soul ever wish to be wed to Chris, I would donate money to make this scene a reality.
No.1051513
>>1051512
Ivy wears the slutty wedding dress from the Guns & Roses music video for November Rain and Coach McGuirk walks her down the isle. Chris is waiting for her, wearing a tuxedo jacket over his striped shirt and Sonichu Medallion.
Then the bizarre bug creatures bring in the rings.
No.1051514
>>1051513
Sonichu Special #2 ends with the newly weds heading off to their honey moon on a chariot pulled by a deformed My Little Pony and escorted by an enormous Rosechu.
No.1051517
>this whole thread
do keep going though
No.1051520
>>1051513
Deep lore- the bug creatures are supposed to be Ivy's pet hermit crabs, if I remember correctly
No.1051521
Hey, do you want to see Chris's dicks? Well too bad. Sonichu Special #3 will show you that and so, so, much more.
Sonichu Special #3 follows Chris's marriage in Sonichu Special #2. Ivy's dad, Police Officer McGuirk, shows Chris respect and gives him the AOK to fuck his little girl. Their little interaction reveals that Chris believes his suffering under trolls is greater than anything that could be experienced by an officer of the law. No mention is made of Chris's criminal record.
Chris hauls his new bride to the seediest best hotel in CWCville for a night of hot porking. Chris makes sure that he gets only the best from the local Best Western: Delightfully arranged rose-petals and thick fog of Glade's lilac plug-in air-freshener smell. No dead-body-under-the-mattress smell will ruin Chris's evening of passionate love-making followed by a desert of chocolate pudding.
The couple undresses and we see it. Chris's MIGHTY Love Rod. His warped woman pleaser. His arched pickle. His angled trouser duck that brings the "comeuppance". Cast your gaze aside as not to be blinded by it's indescribable glory.
No.1051522
>>1051521
The sheer power of Chris's love-mking causes a transformation between the lovers! Chris becomes Chris-Chan Sonichu and Ivy becomes some other … Sonichu … thing. Look, I'm saying they fucked so hard they became furries.
After Ivy thanks God for getting to fuck Chris and Chris thanks God for letting him get china, Sonichu Special #3 ends with the couple enjoying glasses of CWC Orange Soda which may or may not contain Chris's semen post-coitus.
No.1051528
Will this storytime include Sonichu 11 and 12?
No.1051532
Sonichu Special #4 is the final Sonichu Special that has been uncovered. Chris confronts Liquid Chris, kidnaps his girlfriend, and shoots him in the god-damn knees. It's five pages of Chris fellating himself and getting vicious revenge on someone who's only crime was mocking him.
Oh boy, Kacey. During the whole Liquid Chris saga, Chris learned that Liquid had a girlfriend named Kacey, and set out to seduce her away from Liquid. Somehow Chris got Kacey's number, and so began the Kacey calls. Chris tried to impersonate Liquid Chris and trick Kacey into coming over to his house. That failing, he kept calling her, convinced that she loved him and was going to dump Liquid Chris for him, despite having no evidence to believe it. This led to the Father Call, where Chris received a two hour dressing down from Kacey's father. The call, which you can listen to in it's entity, is the stuff of legends.
The Kacey saga formally ended on November 11, 2009 at 2 p.m. EST when Liquid Chris and Kacey were married. They promptly left the Chris-Chan scene.
No.1051533
>>1051532
Shame that Kacey turned out to be a huge bitch in real life
No.1051537
It's time.
Sonichu #10 is the climax of all things Chris-Chan. The gays. The trolls. Asperchu. Alec Benson Leary, the creator of Asperchu. Evan, the creator Chris stole from to create Simonla. Jack Thaddeus, the troll that bought advertising space on Chris's personal wiki, the CWCikipedia, and filled it with pro-gay banners. Mao, the troll who took over the CWCikipedia and deleted it. Finally, Clyde Cash, Chris's arch-nemesis. They will all pay in Sonichu #10.
The first will be Tripod for being a shitty web-site hosting company.
No.1051538
>>1051537
Chris sends Magi-Chan to the far off year 2015 to get the cure to homosexuality and sends the Chaotic combo to the 4-Cent Garbage Building. Chris heads to his tripod page to take everything important before the trolls can get it.
And trolls are apparently winged versions of those crappy troll dolls with ethernet plug tails.
No.1051540
>>1051538
Chris coldly uses his incredible hedgehog powers to destroy Tripod for it's weak security and lack of flash support. Such treasonous companies have no place in CWCville.
In a flurry of action, Chris changes his account passwords, gets help setting up a new CWCikipedia, informing his rubber-stamp CWCville board of directors of his plans, and set a date with his future wife, Lovely Weather. With all that complete, Chris is ready to unleash his wrath upon the 4-Cent Garbage Building!
What Chris doesn't know is that Jason Kendrick Howell is waiting for him!
No.1051541
>>1051540
Chris arrives at the 4-Cent Garbage only to fall into the evil troll trap! Chris's Sonichu Medallion is stolen!
Jokes on them! Chris's true power is kept in his AMNYFEST RING!
No.1051542
>>1051541
Chris shoots a beam that knocks the teeth out of … British soccer presenter Jimmy Hill. The unknown troll who posed as Jimmy Hill is my favorite Chris-Chan troll. They used simple tricks like replacing DVD sleeves and conspicuously placing those DVDs around stacks of boxes to make it look like Jimmy Hill was selling piles bootleg Sonichu merchandise in Great Britain. Chris saw the resulting images and flew into a rage. Nobody makes money off of Sonichu and gets away with it!
After escaping, Chris is confronted by his evil, gay(er) twin Reldnahc! THIS WILL BE THEIR FINAL BATTLE!
No.1051543
>>1051542
'DRINK MY BLOOD!
Chris plunges the needle filled with the homosexuality cure deep into Reldnach's soft, yielding chest! Thanks to getting a sample of Chris's pure straight blood, the scientists of the future have created an instantaneously effective cure for the gay. The desire to fuck men is cleansed from Reldnach's body!
With the Chaotic Combo finally in position, Chris is ready to end 4-Cent Garbage forever! With his amazing powers, Chris makes himself real. Son-Chu transforms into a stage, ready to destroy the 4-Cent Garbage building with rock!
No.1051545
>>1051543
Belting out an epic jam set to the tune Ted Nugent's Cat Scratch Fever, the 4-Cent Garbage building begins to shake! As Chris sings his demands for the return of the character Zordon to Power Rangers television show, Jason Kendrick Howell abandons his troll brothers to die!
Though alone and with no way to escape, Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddus refuse to die in the way Chris intended. In a last act of defiance, they emotionally grasp hands as lovers and jump to their deaths together.
No.1051546
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>1051545
>tfw there's actually a good cover of "Revive Zordon"
No.1051548
>>1051545
The 4-Cent Garbage Building falls with over 1,500 people in it! Over 100 people killed! They should've known better than to cross Chris-Chan.
In the wake of such a devistating use of force, Chris takes his final steps to make CWCVille a police state. Surveillance is installed in every home in CWCville to monitor any suspicious activity. Chemicals are dumped into the water supply to ensure obedient heterosexuality, with plans to expand it distribution world-wide.
Chris continues to want to fuck Meg from Family Guy.
No.1051549
>>1051548
Chris savagely beats a confused asian man before getting a passionate kiss from Meg Griffen. However, it turns out that Meg was actually Selvana Rosechu! Selvana has a pickle! Chris kissed a dude!
Chris gives the gay community a non-apology for his actions. Chris has no remorse.
No.1051570
>>1051549
>first pic
That sure aged well.
No.1051620
>>1051549
Now with the power of the Seven Sonichu Balls coursing through them, Chris and Sonichu take on their ultimate forms to fix everything.
First on the list is freeing Chris's imaginary sister from the Shadow Realm, followed by a quick excursion into RuleCWC to free their princess from stone, subsequently exiling it and it's characters from any future appearances.
No.1051621
>>1051620
Chris goes over to Alec Benson Leary house to steal his computer files and destroy his property.
Chris also thinks that an X-Box 360 can function as a PC.
No.1051622
>>1051621
Elsewhere, Sonichu enters the world of Asperchu and is greeting like a messiah. Long had Alec Benson Leary's prayed to the true Chris-Chan for salvation, and at last the day of their deliverance has come!
However, Sonichu won't simply cure them of their mental problems. Instead he uses his powers to utterly remake them. Their bodies warp and twist until they're crude copies of existing Sonichu, forced to wear the same grin as the rest of Chris's creations. Whatever is left of them is trapped inside their new grotesque shell as they're forced into the ranks of Chris's other Sonichu.
No.1051623
>>1051622
The worst is saved for Asperchu himself, transformed into a Sonichu version of the Brawny Man. In his eyes you can see him scream, but it makes no sound.
As Chris arrives, a giant robot appears. In their new forms, the Asperchus have no choice but to defend their new creator. Once entities of their own, they're reduced to mere weapons in Chris's arsenal.
No.1051625
>>1051623
Chris rewards the Asperchus for their defense by giving them a page of text that effectively erases them from the Sonichu universe. The following pages make it clear that despite the changes, they remain unforgiven.
In addition to Asperchu, more criminals are added to the list. The troll Sean, who created the Moon Pal strips that mocked Chris's perfect creation, and Evan, the creator of Simonchu whom Chris stole to create Simonla. Evan especially goes on the list. Evan got the help of the Asperchu crew to use their control over the CWCikipedia to force Chris to remove Simonla from the book. Removing Simonla, in Chris's insane mind, was tantamount to real-life murder.
And Magi-Chan assures us that Chris's reign of terror cannot be stopped.
No.1051627
>>1051625
After bringing all of Alec Benson Leary's Basement Rosechus to one of CWCville's local "soup hotels" and encountering a homeless Jamaican man, Sonichu uses the power of the Seven Sonichu Balls to rid all of the Jerk-ops and Mani-jerks of their brainwashing.
Now only Slaweel Ryam remains.
No.1051628
>>1051627
At long last, the battle between the Virgin With Rage and The Heartless Witch of PVCC has come. Slaweel muses over her choices that lead her here, facing down an electric hedge-hog man. Those thoughts are gone now, as Chris totally kicks her ass.
Now, with his control of CWCville firmly in place and his enemies defeated once and for all, Chris calls his citizenry to the CWCville mall to hear the words of their great leader! All must attend! Magi-Chan will know if anyone skips out!
No.1051637
>>1051628
Chris assures his people that only he is strong enough to lead them and that without him, they would all be lost.
Simonla Rosechu goes to the bathroom, leaving her egg in the care of it's father, Wild Sonichu.
Magi-Chan stops Evan's attempted assassination of Chris-Chan. Chris admits that Asperchu has a fanbase sequel to his own Trolls told him that 99% of Sonichu fans went over to Asperchu and Chris believed them. Magi-Chan quickly stops Simonchu from trying to kill Silvania Rosechu.
Alec Benson Leary takes an "out of order" sign off the ladies restroom and makes sure Silvania uses it. As Silvania does her business, she doesn't notice the pulsating, angry Voltorb just beneath her toilet.
Chris finishes his declaration, only for the sound of an EXPLOSION to echo through the halls of the CWCville Mall! Emergency services arrive on the scene to find the severely mangled body of Simonla Rosechu.
Chris's speech continues to play as she's rushed to the hospital, but it's too late. Simonla Rosechu is dead.
No.1051638
>>1051637
Wild Sonichu and Simonla Rosechu's egg hatches, giving birth to Sandy Rosechu. Just in time for the show trial of the Asperpedia Four.
The judge makes tone of the court clear. He has already decided against them, but the Asperpedia Four need to be made examples of. The defendants don't even know what they're being charged with. In fact, they can barely form coherent sentences, no doubt due to the torture they surely faced while in CWCville custody.
All of this while Chris's speech continues to be broadcast.
No.1051641
>>1051638
The defendants are only allowed to enter a plea after opening statements. Their "not guilty" plea means nothing, as not long after they're found guilty and sentenced to death.
Laws against cruel and unusual punishment do not exist in CWCville. Much like North Korea, Chris has a wide array of ways to deal with enemies of the state, and Chris will make sure the deaths of the Asperpedia Four are as painful as possible.
Alec Benson Leary, for the crime of creating a more popular parody comic of Chris's divine creation Sonichu, he is rigged up to a ten-button electric chair. All of Chris's creations participate in Alec's execution, including a week old child. They all get the satisfaction of killing him. Alec's smouldering corpse is left on display.
Evan, for the crime of protecting his intellectual property and demanding Simonla be removed from the comic, he is chained to the wall. The one week old child of Simonla Rosechu proceeds to use her drills to drive deep into Evan's flesh. Evan's arms and legs are torn from his body. His gentles are drilled out, leaving a bleeding, fleshy hold where his penis used to be. He's left a crying, horrifically mutilated pile of gore before Sandy and Wild get around to finishing him off. What remained of Evan took weeks to clean-up.
Sean, for the crime of producing the parody comic Moon-Pals, is hung from the ceiling and used as target practice by the very characters he mocked. His death was long and torturous.
Mao, for the crime of holding Chris's personal sites hostage until he removed Simonla Rosechu from the comic, is psychically ripped apart by Chris-Chan before finally having his heart crushed.
Amends have been made.
No.1051643
>>1051641
Sonichu #10 ends with Chris declaring the day he killed all of his trolls in his comic, February 24, Chris's Birthday, as
CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!
A day we've continued to honor years after Chris proclaimed it!
The comic also ends with Chris also declaring that he will keep being lazy when it comes to making comics, something that also continues to this very day!
No.1051770
In which issue does Chris become a tranny and puts Crystal in the trash?
No.1051777
>>1051770
I think that's the next one, which took half a decade to come out.
No.1051787
Sonichu was thought to be dead for years before Chris astounded everyone by finally finishing Sonichu #11. It took eight years and over $1000 to produce.
Too bad it's boring as hell. I'm not going to give much commentary on this one.
No.1051796
>>1051795
Page 48 is the best part of this comic.
No.1051800
>>1051799
Bananasauros, a character so annoying that even Chris hates him.
No.1051806
>>1051805
The end of Sonichu #11. It still blows my mind that Chris got $1000 for this.
No.1051807
>>1051806
So when is #12 coming out? Probably doesn't matter, since #11 has no story and is just the usual LGBBQ meta where the author whips themselves for past problematic content.
No.1051808
>>1051806
>He's still going on about the fucking Cherokee magic
He'd have an easier time screaming "oy vey!".
No.1051811
>>1051807
It came out in October of 2017
Don't worry. I'll be story-timing it.
No.1051812
>>1051795
>>1051805
>>1051806
Chris is so fucking insane.
>>1051799
>Reginald is now gone
Great, there goes that pokemon. The last straight man in this comic. He will be missed.
>>1051811
I'm dreading it already.
No.1051921
>>1051643
>CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY
The original name of Life Day from the Star Wars Holiday Special I guess.
No.1052125
Sonichu #12 is the latest, full, Sonichu Chris has managed to produce. It deals mostly with his decision to become a full-on sexual chimera.
Once again, Sonichu is shunted to the background.
No.1052134
>>1052125
Chris names the little "Sonee" that becomes a tranny "Robert", his late father. That's really disturbing considering Bob told Chris a few months before his death that he disapproved of Chris's cross-dressing.
No.1052139
>>1052134
There's been a lot of speculation of what triggered Chris's transition. Of course, since it's Chris's is an unfathomable enigma, there's no easy answer. It can range from a natural outcome of Chris's strangely feminine behavior to an evolution of Chris's narcissism.
Anyway, we're once again reminded that CWCville is a police state overseen by the unblinking eyes of Magi-Chan.
No.1052140
>>1052139
Kept us waiting the last couple days, huh?
No.1052142
>>1052139
Chris will believe any hokum if he thinks it'll give him what he wants, and subliminal frequency videos are one such hokum. Chris believes that by watching videos with names such as "Powerful Breast Growth Hormones for MTF" and "Penis to Vagina Transformation Level 1" he can transform himself into a woman, complete with uterus and ovaries. He has/had an earnest faith in their effectiveness.
These videos lead directly to the darkest moment in all of Christory. On July 26, 2016, Chris announced on his facebook that he had finally grown a vaginal labia thanks to the subliminal frequency videos. To the troll's absolute horror, they discovered that
CHRIS HAD CUT OPEN HIS TAINT WITH A KNIFE TO FREE THE VAGINA GROWING INSIDE OF HIM
It was a harrowing event, with trolls doing everything within their power to save Chris's life by convincing him to see a doctor.
On a more positive note, Chris mentions another Troll Girlfriend. It's nice to see that some things never change.
>>1052140
I was sick.
No.1052143
>>1052142
I just noticed that on page 17 Chris brings up Sonic's blue arms. You know, the thing he got brought up on charges over after he maced a gamestop employee? Chris doesn't appear again in this episode, so I'm assuming that incident and the subsequent fall-out are Sonichu canon.
I can't help thinking that MiMi Rosechu is a stand in for the prostitute Chris fucked.
No.1052149
>>1052143
Those are some creepy eyes.
Our next episode features the return of Reldnahc. Apparently the homosexuality cure didn't take.
No.1052152
>>1052149
CWCville celebrates it's first Pride Festival. Since in Issue #10 Chris cured all of the gays of their homosexuality, the event is sparsely attended it and serves mostly as a massive party for Chris and those loyal to him.
On page 30, there's an appearance of a character named "Danny Steckle". That's youtuber DStecks, who took Chris up on his donation offer of $10 for 1 page of Sonichu by donating $1000 to Chris. Chris gladly took the money and promptly failed to deliver. He spent the money on a new bed so he could stop sleeping with his mom, and posted the rest of Sonichu #11 a year after DStecks's donation.
The donation was widely scene as a waste money and further proof that you can't force Chris to create content. Another view is that DStecks accidentally became the greatest troll to ever troll Chris. His donation put the idea in Chris's head that he has fans willing to give him stupid amounts of money for nothing.
No.1052156
>>1052152
Look at page 35. We're introduced to Chris's children Russel and Cynthia. Yes, Chris has Sonichu children in the Sonichu comics.
How can this be? I'll let Chris explain it.
>Back in human form, she extracted some of her essence. Then in (female) Sonichu form, she shot her essence up herself … After that, when she tried to transform back to human, she could not. She was stuck in her Chris Chan Sonichu form. Then between Magi-Chan and the examinations at the hospital, she was knocked up for sure. ~ Chris-Chan
Chris, in the comic, blew his load, transformed into his Sonichu form, took that load he shot and shoved it into his Sonichu cunt, and became pregnant.
Chris has introduced me to a lot of horrors over the twelve years he's been chronicled by the internet, but the Russel and Cynthia shit. That shit's absolutely terrifying.
No.1052159
>>1052156
Nothing Reldnahc says is wrong, and he should not accept Chris's apology because Chris never really apologizes.
Still, considering that two issues ago Reldnahc was evil because he was gay, this is bizarre.
No.1052162
>>1052159
Count Graduon is back! He's on the moon and is constructing a new body out of Metal Sonichu! He's getting the gang back together, starting with Reldnahc!
I won't lie, that's pretty cool.
No.1052164
>>1052162
CWCville is once again under attack! Chris receives a prophetic vision warning of an attack by his brother, Cole Smithy! Everyone gets new transformation sequences!
Will Chris and the Chaotic combo be able to stop the plans of the revived Count Graduon? Just what are Chris's new tranny powers? Is this comic getting good again?
Find out tomorrow when I story-time the rest of Sonichu #12!
No.1052228
>>1052159
WALL OF TEXT BATTLE!
This is as close as we get to a fight scene now that SJWs have ruined Sonichu, along with everything else.
Love and peace! Or public torture and execution!
No.1052431
>>1052164
The answer to the previous questions are: yes, whatever Chris fucking wants, and no. At least we've got Reldnahc and he's probably the only entertaining part of this mess.
After the Jerk-Ops are revealed to still be a thing, Chris is attacked by his half-brother Cole Smithy, forcing Chris to send him to sub-space. Chris's relationship with his half-sibling consists mostly of having the same mother. Cole is nineteen years Chris's senior, was off living his own life for all of Chris's childhood, and has cut off all contact with his abusive mother and Chris. Chris has made numerous attempts to reunite with his half-brother, mostly in the hopes that he can shove their mother off on him.
No.1052434
>>1052431
Chris has become impossibly more OP, removing what few weaknesses his Sonichu form had.
Outside the Dark Dimension, Chris has grown as an author by realizing nobody fucking cares about his stupid fight scenes.
No.1052436
>>1052434
The day is won and Reldnahc is defeated. Chris also has a pocket dimension to put undesirables, like his half-brother Cole.
The rest of this episode is Chris morning the death of his father Bob and explaining how he was a woman that attended Woodstock in a previous life.
No.1052437
>>1052436
Hey, remember the bizarreness that was Sonichu Special #2? Replace Chris and Ivy with Sonichu and Rosechu and you've got Episode 24, part 2.
No.1052438
>>1052437
Hey, that fucking weird ass piano playing cat is now canon.
No.1052439
>>1052438
As Sonichu finishes regaling Sonic/Salvana with the story of his wedding, Rosechu falls down the stairs and breaks her ass.
Which marks the beginning of the most disgusting comic since Chris traced his own penis.
No.1052440
>>1052439
I'm not really sure where the idea for this comic came from. It's like some horrible tragedy that occurs randomly and for no-reason.
I'm trying to find answers, but they're all lacking.
No.1052441
>>1052440
Oh god. I can barely endure this.
Especially Sonichu rubbing Rosechu's fat belly. Ugh.
No.1052442
>>1052441
Chris, why did you have to make the cave walls pink?
No.1052443
>>1052442
You're imagining the texture of petting a dirty wet cat drenched in pickle juice.
No.1052444
>>1052443
Thank the lord that's over. Chris is gross enough without throwing in fat fucking.
No.1052445
>>1052444
Christ the whole actors thing is weird.
Sonichu #12 closes with an embarrassing song.
No.1052446
>>1052445
So ends Sonichu #12, the latest complete Sonichu comic, and with it, my Sonichu story-time.
Thanks to everyone who celebrated Christian Love Day with me this year. It was, as it is every year, a trip.
No.1052518
>>1052446
I've officially seen too much now. Thanks for all the fun times OP.
No.1052519
>>1052446
What about #12-9? That was basically MLP fanfiction, but it's still a Sonichu comic.
No.1052564
Thanks for the absolutely vile content, OP.
For more, there's Asperchu and CWCAnimatedLibrary.
No.1052598
>tfw Chris has horrible hygiene and drinks his own cum
>tfw Chris places an importance on literal statements and thinks in terms of absolutes
>tfw horrible hygine = putrification
>tfw emphasis on truth and absolutes = purification
>tfw Chris started life as a boy
>tfw Chris is becoming a woman
>tfw Chris cut open his taint to create a vagina
>tfw Chris is becoming the Divine Hermaphrodite spoken of in alchemy
>tfw the Dimensional Merge is Chris's creation of alchemical solvent Alkahest to dissolve the boundaries between realities
>tfw Chris is reaching the culmination of his Rebis
>tfw Chris is the Philosopher's Stone.
No.1053182
>>1049679
Lower that down to 35 - they'll be self aware, but still autists.
t. neurotic pitypartying autist/furry whose dad was 41 and mom 35 when they had me
No.1053316
>>1050713
did it sell for that price?
No.1053318
>>1053317
If you don't have pics or anything, I'll assume the world's not full of morbid shits and you just tried to tell me some porky pies.
No.1053320
>>1053319
fuck the entirety of that