Do I, a layman, stand any chance/have any right at all to a position as a monastic/anchorite if I fully intend only to serve this time for only a month or so, travelling to a monastery and practically announcing I would like to stay/asking their help?
I can't stand it any longer, I am a criminal in this world. Jeffrey Epstein and Bill Gates and whoever might commit acts against the most innocent of creatures, that, if described in enough detail could make grown men cry; but they have not recieved a lifetime laced lusciously with gifts, they have not seen insights and a loving longing into the world of living things, they have not had the depth of grace and hand extended to them, they are not the most gifted men in the world. I am, and, let me tell you, brothers, my sins are not as far from theirs as you may think. They are not illegal, and would not make you want to put me to death, but they should be illegal and they have brought me much resembling it. I will appear this penitent but sin athletically away all I have recieved and cry little over it, so do not for a moment think I, should I be succesful, am emulatable or a person who has mustered up great repentance. I can, in my wretchedness, imagine certainly that my eyes might be dignified to see another created thing of beauty again only if cleansed by penance, and in such a manner as ancient, resounding, beautiful and solemn as the solitary confinement practiced by the monks of the Faith for centuries, hermeticism, to become an anchorite, for some time.
In short, I have made plans to rent a small boat and travel to an Orthodox monastery by sea, circumnavigating much of Europe from where I live now in the hopes of living with the monks there for a certain period of time, and, preferably, spend some time alone in a monk's cell as an anchorite, basically, in solitary confinement, and in Greece, or the Balkans, or Georgia, etc, as it is feasible for me. I had planned a route by sea including shores to coast off of, and to buy in bulk the food necessary to live off of during a some two week long journey there, and spend the next year or so casually reading everything I can about sailing, watching every video/comment about the subject neccesary, and asking around. I plan to do this some time in the near future, after school/work allows me to.
Which monastery that might be is of course difficult to determine, and it is where my plans begin to become up in the air. There is of course, another question, which is, will they take me? Is it in any way proper/improper for me to undertake/expect this from these people in a foreign land? Will I be denied this, should I? I got this idea by the way from a documentary I saw some years ago where it was succesfully done, but the guy went and lived with a coptic monastery, which canonically yields no real grace, as maintained by the Orthodox Church.
Now I'm talking about my plans this, my plans that but it is of course only my foolish propositions, and there is little meaning even to such a post. Nevertheless, if you could help a fellow anon out, and help him pose as a pilgrim, once, I'd be much obliged. How would I go about arranging such a thing? Forgive the roughness of my post, let us say, it was inspired, by circumstance, again.