Stop depending on them. I hated people, now I just see nothing worth liking in them.
When I gave others benefit of doubt, I'm only disappointed if I depend on them. Whether that's giving me a ride to school when a kid, hiring them to perform a service, or to just trust their judgement isn't self absorbed and that they'll consider others when making decisions. It only causes angst if you depend on this person, and it doesn't matter if they've been dependable for everything else.
Once you see the 'line in the sand' on how their decision making differs from yours you tend to judge them as good or bad (for you).
For example, my mother divorced my dad and took the kids. She had no real job but housewife for the 6 years they were married and to this day I believe she took the kids not out of our best interest but her own, because if she abandoned us she would be on her own. She needed help from her parents (at 31) to 'get on her feet', and there's no reason her parents/family would help her if she divorced her husband and left the kids. How could she explain how she deserves help to leave her husband if not that her husband was bad? How could she explain she deserves help escaping a bad spouse if she left her kids with him to escape?
Before this point she spent most of her youth planning to be nun. Which means she didn't dream about being a mom or wife or professional, she had dreams to be a dependent on something that's survived thousands of years (roman catholic church). So to her kids this is proof that kids were never her first choice and she opts for the path of lease resistance on her own life.
ffwd 10 years and she later gives her teenage-kids the ultimatum, do what I say and don't ask questions or live with your father on the other side of the country. Hard for a kid to swallow this and think their parent is anything but a jerk.
ffwd a few more years and when the youngest is 18, the mother sells the house her parents bought her (when she was 31) and moves to the middle of the country. Doesn't help her kids 'get on their feet' blows all the money she saved in a few years on thoughtless investment ideas, now she depends on me and still behaves like a 'words are louder than actions' mentality of being unable to be honest or consistent in her values.
The point of this is to show that when you depend on someone, in this case I depended on my mother, you judge them based on everything they do because at some point you're waiting for their poor decision making to be selfish and against you better interests. If you depend on someone you don't trust, you're going to have a sour relationship.
As I've gotten older and began to see the differences between all the tribes I've learned people are individuals that'll cling to the tribe that best represents their values, at that time. People in tribes can't always mix and people in tribes aren't independents, they depend on each other. Dependents are immature people, they literally depend on others to survive. They're unreliable in the long-run unless one of their values is becoming independent and they practice what they preach.
You have a choice. To be dependent on others, systems included (religion/government/charities), you have to give up your individuality and make compromises to continue to depend on those systems. Or you become an independent and just learn that others aren't so you know who to invest in and how much you can afford to risk.