/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

I was too anxious to go inside

Didn't go to church because no transportation. I jerked off and mt brother beat me with a hairbrush. I hit my Dad because he laughed at me being hit.

I can't receive confession or communion because I'm a tranny, and I know I'm a sinner who's in the wrong with no justification for my actions. So there's little point in even going.

>>796057

I'm 100% male in how I dress and act. I take HRT. If God gave me a health problem that prevented me from taking the pills, or put me into a context where they were taken from me (Lost in the woods or something,) I'd take this as an act of God and swear against trannydom.

I never intend to get SRS or claim to be a woman. I just want to look like one.

>>796058

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1-Corinthians-Chapter-6/#9

>9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

>10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

>https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/1-Corinthians-Chapter-11/#14

>14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

I can give up every sin except being a tranny. To be honest, my other sins - theft and fornication - are so bad that the trannydom is inexcusable. To suggest that I just innocently want to be a woman would be such a lie - I lust for women and a woman's body, and I've stolen to feed my lust for alcohol.

I'm a terrible person, and it's fitting that I now keep myself from Heaven by being a tranny.

>>796069

Theft and fornication are weed in comparison to transexuality's heroin. I can't kick the one habit.

I even prayed to God to show me the joys of being a man… they weren't enough to get me to stop. Not that they weren't great - but manhood couldn't break through my thick skull.

>>796071

>Why follow Him if you don't even desire to go to Heaven?

My parents told me God didn't exist. The pain of a Godless existence was so bad, I became a Satanist -> Buddhist -> Buddhist/Pagan -> Christian, as I learned science and had actual religious experiences;

>https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4270066/

>These results point to the nucleus of neurons as the potential locus of the engram in Aplysia

>http://www.eneuro.org/content/early/2018/05/14/ENEURO.0038-18.2018

>Thus, the behavioral, and a subset of the cellular, modifications characteristic of a form of nonassociative long-term memory in Aplysia can be transferred by RNA

>http://reoxy.org/8circuit.htm#c7

>The seventh brain kicks into action when the nervous system begins to receive signals from WITHIN THE INDIVIDUAL NEURON, from the DNA-RNA dialogue. The first to achieve this mutation spoke of "memories of past lives," "reincarnation," "immortality," etc

>VIII. THE NEURO-ATOMIC CIRCUIT

>Consciousness probably precedes the biological unit or DNA tape-loop. "Out-of-body experiences," "astral projection," contact with alien (extraterrestrial?) "entities" or with a galactic Overmind

I believe in Him because I can see the means of His promise. He gave me physical, concrete evidence so I could believe in life after death. I became a Christian after I felt immortality was assured - out of love for the beauty of God's technique. Love for the fact that God had planned for my salvation - a desire to be a part of His plan.

I stopped masterbating for 239 days because I'd rather read the Bible and write essays. Eventually, it dawned on me that the glorious immortal order I saw innately in nature - a salvation as natual as snow falling - was not mine.

I felt like a part of the world, and it's words became my words. Enthusiastically, I poured over the Bible and involved myself with Christians online. They condemned me. It felt like my own voice condemned me. If I wasn't a western Christian… than I was an Untouchable. My own sincere belief in Holy Judgement was turned around on me.

>Do you really understand the tortures of Hell?

I fear Hell and love sin. I know what I'm doing is wrong and will get me punished, yet I do it anyway. I'm so sorry. I've commited such sin. I want to be like you. I want to be with you.

Hell is never being one of you. Total rejection forever and ever. Not from an external group - but from a community which is inside of me.

>>796093

I think youre being a bit dramatic friend; sexual obsession is beat through labor and mindfulness of purpose. One thing I did to help temper my lust was working out, as well as limiting my screen time because the more time I spent on it the more I felt the temptation. Combine them both with prayer for resolve and you should slowly climb out of your hole.

God bless.

I was busy winnie the pooh my gay lovers.