I was born in the early 80s. I didn't even know homosexuality existed when I was a kid. I would hear it used as an insult, but I didn't think it even existed. I learned that it existed through the Internet. I made an online friend in a video game chat, and he told me he was bisexual. I didn't understand why anyone would do that. I thought it was morally wrong, even though I wasn't very religious. I had a friend in high school who came out, and I thought it was gross, but he was still my friend.
In college, I was around a lot more people who were openly gay. I thought if you don't act obnoxiously flamboyant but are gay, then why does it matter? I thought they were just 2% of the population, so what was the big deal. I had developed a more libertarian attitude to deal with the world. I didn't even buy the whole born this way argument. I think sometimes it has a biological component, but it always has an environmental or learned component. There's always a distortion that occurs. I thought it telling how gay activists never accepted ex-gay people. They didn't get a letter in the acronym.
I had been very depressed, mainly due to growing up in an extremely violent home… occurring more days than not. I thought my parents were literally going to murder each other, or even me. I was really skinny and effeminate, mainly because I thought if you were like a girl, you would be OK because you weren't supposed to hit girls. It doesn't make sense, but this was the only survival mechanism my small child brain could develop. I wasn't transgender because I didn't even knew that existed. Recently, I heard a story of a women who spent several years pretending to be a man, but through therapy she realized it was because she had been repeatedly raped as a child, and her child brain reasoned if she did not have a vagina, she could not be harmed. When a child is put in a terrifying situation like that, the conscious part of the child is struggling to survive and will distort to do so.
I was so depressed, having been rejected by a woman I loved dearly and spent 3 years with. I went through a period of unemployment before going back to school and working multiple jobs. In school I was suicidal. I was completely alone, or so I thought. I had stopped talking and seeing my family due to their abuse. I got fired from one of my jobs for a reason that made no sense, and around that same time I got high praise at another job. I never was attracted to males growing up, but kids would call me gay as an insult because I was effeminate. And I thought, well people always say gay people are in denial and that this causes pain, and maybe I'm gay and admitting this will make me feel better. I never had a gay experience. I did find it gross and I liked women. But what I'm getting at is I was so in the darkness I was willing to consider that. I was looking at everything in my life, trying to figure out what was wrong. This was a time where I had held a knife to my stomach on multiple occasions hoping I could thrust it in. I am starting to see this time as me being caught at sea in a storm, and Satan trying to pull me under. I think I've made it to the shore, though.
I know a young girl who has autism. She is very nice, and a mature in some ways. But she very publicly told everyone she is asexual and advocates for asexuals. The truth is she has autism and is just struggling to cope with it. I think I am a bit autistic as well, and I can understand. Much of my difficulty with women comes to that. I can appear attractive, and talk to them, and get to know them, but after a while you have to talk to them without a script and I just come across as too weird. There was a news story about a school with, I think, 14 transgender kids. They all had autism, and were being coached by other kids. They were told that their gender issues were the cause of their pain. They get to be a special victim class and be taken care of. But in reality, they will have to go through hard work of socializing training for autism, and ultimately accept they won't be 100% like other people. That's far more painful and hard.
I see homosexuality as ultimately destructive. I was reading about a former, intense gay activist from the early 90s. He was advocating for gay marriage in a small city in the midwest back when people didn't do that. And recently he stopped being gay and got married, and he speaks about the statistics and facts surrounding homosexuality, and how its destructive it is. He didn't just say, "God hates fags" or something which is how most people think critics of homosexuality sound, because that's all you hear on TV. He laid out information that isn't allowed to get out… the kind of stuff you see on 8chan and 4chan.