/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>776296

You will have to leave her, I’m afraid. Unequal yoking will only hurt you both.

>>776299

There's nothing wrong with marring someone who isn't christian, so long as if you have kids you bring them up in the faith. That at least my understanding of it.

Did you two stopped having sex? Does she respect that or does she still seduce you in any way?

>>776301

That’s entirely wrong. It’s right in the Bible.

>2 Corinthians 6:14

>14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

>>776304

We haven't stopped and she knows I regard it as a sin (and was deeply offended by it). We have less sex than we used to.

I haven't brought up the idea of not having sex (until marriage), because it would probably lead to end of our relationship.

>>776308

St. Monica married a pagan and look what came out of that.

>>776309

Well you absolutely have to stop, right now. If you love Christ, you will obey His commandments. Which do you love more, Christ or physical pleasure?

>>776308

Doesn't the Bible also say you shouldn't divorce your wife only because she isn't a Christian? She's his wife, by verbal agreement at least.

>>776313

It's not even my physical pleasure, but for the sake of the relationship. I'm on nofap and could be without sex, but it would mean the end of our relationship.

>>776296

I guess it's your cross to bear.

Good luck anon.

I'll pray for you.

You're saved and she's unwilling, so you're incompatible. You are Biblically prohibited from marrying her and she would be a bad mother to your children.

Right now she is a stumbling block to you and it's giving you strife. End immediately.

>>776314

This is what I've also thought. Marriages weren't institutionalized when the bible was written, they were more like informal contracts.

But this is in a way a lousy excuse, Christianity is really solid about marriage.

What really is difficult is choosing between love and God. It hard to think that God's will would be against love, while it seems so in this case.

>>776316

she's his concubine

>>776320

>they were more like informal contracts

wrong

Marriages were official, public pronouncements since at least Genesis 34. Tradition for NT Hebrews was to hold a feast in accordance with the wedding, see the wedding feast in Cana.

Deuteronomy 22 instructs that a man who is caught in fornication is required to marry the girl, but it doesn't conflate the act of fornication with a marriage.

>>776327

>a man who is caught in fornication is required to marry the girl

If she was a virgin when he fornicated with her.

>>776342

If she wasn’t a virgin, it would be assumed she was married, in which case both would be executed.

>>776314

But it also says that if she leaves you for that reason you can leave her be and let her go but if she then commits adultery after she's left you and whether said adultery therefore triggers the exception to the ban on remarriage for the innocent Christian or not, is a whole other can of worms

>>776344

How would you know this? I doubt they were unaware that unmarried prostitutes and fornicators existed in their society.

>>776296

>I still deeply love her and she loves me back

>I haven't brought up the idea of not having sex (until marriage), because it would probably lead to end of our relationship

What? That's not love at all.

>>776320

>Marriages weren't institutionalized when the bible was written,

That's wrong.

>choosing between love and God. It hard to think that God's will would be against love

You're not choosing between love and God, you're choosing between lust and God. If your girlfriend loved you, then she wouldn't leave you just because you won't have sex anymore before marriage.

Good posts in this thread! I must bring up the question of sexual abstinence with my girlfriend.

If she leaves me, then its not true love.

>>776296

I was more or less in the same place as you. My girlfriend was christian but pretty lukewarm, and she wasn't welcoming the idea of waiting until marriage. I was very concerned at times, thinking that i would have to break up in the future over this..along with other possible future problems, like contraception. We ended up breaking up for other reasons, but i feel free now. I can find someone is alligned better with my beliefs, without having to worry dissapointing or upstetting someone.

>>776359

All I can say is good luck brother, remember even if it initially seems like a bad decision God rewards those who humble themselves before him

>>776301

This. But you need to bring up the children Catholic.

One anon mentioned the example of St. Monica. I suggest you look into it.

Stop having sex btw. If she doesn't want to stop then she is no good and kick her out.

>>776318

>You're saved and she's unwilling

>You are Biblically (lol) prohibited from marrying her and she would be a bad mother to your children

But if he is already saved what's the problem of doing whatever he wants? Once saved, always saved amirite?

>>776359

What's going to happen is that the more aware you are of who God is in relationship to us and what that entails, the more you are going to choose Him over her and at some point it's going to be either.

I've made the same decision six months ago. Guess what, it's been horrible when I broke up, and there have been repercussions ever since because my ex is depressive and cannot get over me yet. But when I kneel before the altar and receive Holy Communion on Sundays, I know I wouldn't trade that for all the sex we could have had or all the time we could have spent together.

In fact one of my biggest regrets after confession was having desecrated her body all this time when I already knew that it was an offense to her and to God.

I don't want to point fingers at you. I'm just sharing how it went for me if that helps. I'll pray for both of you tonight anon.

>>776296

If you are Protestant, you have the following saying of Apostle Paul:

"If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and if she is content to live with him, he should not leave her. [Likewise,] the woman who has an unbelieving husband who is content to live with her should not leave her husband. This is because the unbelieving husband is sanctified in his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but in fact, they are holy. Yet, if the unbeliever decides to leave, let there be separation. The brother or sister is not under constraint b in such cases, but God has called us in peace. Truly, how do you know, wife, if you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, if you will save your wife?" (1 Cor. 7:12-16)

If you are Orthodox, you also have this saying by the Apostle, but in addition you have canon 72 of the 6th Ecumenical council:

"An orthodox man is not permitted to marry an heretical woman, nor an orthodox woman to be joined to an heretical man. But if anything of this kind appear to have been done by any [we require them] to consider the marriage null, and that the marriage be dissolved. For it is not fitting to mingle together what should not be mingled, nor is it right that the sheep be joined with the wolf, nor the lot of sinners with the portion of Christ. But if any one shall transgress the things which we have decreed let him be cut off.

But if any who up to this time are unbelievers and are not yet numbered in the flock of the orthodox have contracted lawful marriage between themselves, and if then, one choosing the right and coming to the light of truth and the other remaining still detained by the bond of error and not willing to behold with steady eye the divine rays, the unbelieving woman is pleased to cohabit with the believing man, or the unbelieving man with the believing woman, let them not be separated, according to the divine Apostle, "for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife by her husband."

DO not. I repeat DO not listen to these incels on here. You're forgetting that this is still 8ch. People on here will be telling you to break off the relationship out of pure spite that you actually have a relationship. If you marry later it won't be as big of a deal. Do what you think is best for your relationship and worship.

>>776342

This doesn't apply. How can you assume a 20 year old is already married if they weren't a virgin?

>>776301

You should also bring your wife to Christ, anon. If I married a non religious girl I'd force her into Christianity.

>>776457

>Ignore Christ, and do what feels right to YOU

Go back to reddit.

>>776459

Obviously that's the ideal, but in the worst case scenario at least bring your children up in the way of the lord.

>>776461

IF they marry later that is still fine.

>>776458

Can you rephrase your post. I'm not sure what you're trying to say.

>>776477

There are many circumstances as to why they might have had sex before marriage, perhaps he wasn't a Christian when they first started dating or perhaps he messed up. Whatever the reason, if you eventually get married, you will be forgiven.

>>776316

Stop fornicating. Do not be unequally yoked.

>without sex, but it would mean the end of our relationship.

Then what is the point of the relationship? Sex is not and never will be a need as food and water is. Someone who would leave you because they can't get sex will never love you.

Good news! We are no longer having sex until marriage. She must really love me. Thanks for you prayers!

>>776296

I don't think you should be asking this board, but if she respects you less for your beliefs, that is the definitive warning sign.

>>776320

God is never against love, he's against that which pretends to be love, but is false. This is why Jesus and even St Paul praise celibacy; so that one can be free to enjoy unconditional love, not the love that is bought and paid for by sex.

Not saying you have to take such a hard road, but consider that the love you share in must be as unconditional as possible. It is not easy in the least.

>>776433

>>776422

:-(

>>777762

Congratulations, OP! I hope y'all stay happy and healthy forever :)

>>777762

Congratulations man. I hope it all works out for you.

>>777762

Good news, hope it works out. I think you will find the measure of yourselves through such a commitment.

>>776316

Then she’s using you. If you really can’t speak to her about personal things you feel strongly about, and sex is the only thing keeping the relationship together, then she doesn’t love you.

Personal advice? Confront her about this. If she can’t come to terms with the fact that you’ve changed and have morals, then she isn’t for her. Drop her like a sack of potatoes and never look back.

>>777762

good thing. and good luck, for it will be hard and the temptations strong (!!!), learn the jesus prayer to avoid them. im in the same situation together with >>776349. i suggest that we (who are in the same situation) pray for each other

>>776299

This. Especially if she's a devout atheist and especially if you're still having sex with her as you are not providing a good example.

>>776457

Lmao. This guy is engaging in sodomy with an atheist. How is this in any way going to result in a long term Christian relationship? This guy is basking in sin.

>>777762

There's nothing good about this situation. The only reasoning that she has is purely subjective with no coherent justification.

>>777777

I'm a friendless shut-in who never had a gf so bear that in mind, but I think a husband and wife (or bf/gf etc) should be able to talk about anything and if you have a problem she should hear you out with an open mind and try to honestly solve the problem, and you do the same for her. If one doesn't do that, then it's not the best relationship.

Don't break up with her just for not being Christian though, that's gay af.

Also be careful not to actually argue over this. No one likes religion being forced on them, and if she feels that way (Rightly or wrongly) then she'll probably dump you sooner or later.

Be nice. Make a good example for her. Be gentle around this topic and don't push too hard. A little gentle nudge here and there.

Try to explain why it's a sin, pray for her, but be ready to let go of her (despite how painful it might be) if she's unwilling to change. It's bad for you, but even more for her: for you have been found by God, but she hasn't, so you are in a greater danger in the short run (as you now can be welcomed in the Church and receive His forgiveness in the future) whilst she's still stubborn and refuses His hand while she's drowning in this world of pleasures and selfishness (thus her sins are not going away soon, probably not even later if she refuses His mercy and His forgiveness in the sacrament of reconciliation).

>>777762

Read her phone messages.

>>780302

Seconded. I remember a similar thread by another OP where:

>OP's gf was Christian and against premarital sex

>then-atheist OP finally convinced her to have sex

>a couple of years later, OP found Christ and realized the error of his ways

>OP proposed they abstain from sex

>gf was greatly upset because that's what she wanted in the first place

In that case, she knew the value of chastity and could pursue it again, even if difficult. In >>776296's case, his gf doesn't have a relationship with God and most likely doesn't see the value of chastity, and in our current pozzed society, she likely feels justified in cheating. OP's setting himself up to be cucked.

>>777827

What a good thought, props.