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/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

File: 5411b1d41b7fb6a⋯.jpeg (7.43 KB, 259x194, 259:194, 9E899360-9A66-4410-9AFC-E….jpeg)

ffdbee  No.763600

Hello /Christian/, in averse to typing my whole life story, but the gist of things is that the same systems touted as being there for people in the mental health industry discarded me when I was clinically depressed, and I’ve been floundering for about five years now. I’m trying to finish school and get a degree despite being a sophomore in my early twenties, and I have an unmitigated hatred for myself despite being aware and wishing to feel otherwise.

I was raised Christian and fell out of the faith, but I find myself torn between Christianity because the current state of things seems so screwed contrary to how I was raised, and just being hedonist because the doubt in Christianity is so strong. I’ve effectively been in a sort of absolutely miserable stalemate, refusing or regretting indulgences in typical young adult life on ethical grounds but having nothing to show for it but isolation and possible insanity. An eternal and loving God is the only refuge for hope, but it seems as if it’s only wishful thinking, and I often find myself incapacitated despair or hamstringing having a happy secular life by religious concerns that never go all the way due to doubt.

I don’t even know what I’m lookin for by posting this. Just venting I guess. I wish to get my crap together, but the thought of being so far behind and aware nobody will help me as I effectively go crazier and become even less useful for my age by not already having a degree is maddening.

8d9a7f  No.763604

File: 3f6784bdff4e1e5⋯.png (1.92 MB, 1200x792, 50:33, 3f6784bdff4e1e53a4369e3159….png)

You should look out for St Padre Pio, a Priest with attested miracles who lived during the XXth century (so it isn't the stuff of legend and myths)

The world is really going wrong, everything is falling appart… And there seem to be a gloomy dark cloud over the west that's making everyone crazy and riddled with mental problems.

Don't give up friend, I've been there… Thinking it's just a beautiful dream and life doesn't actually have any meaning but the more you study the more it make sense.

Pray and stay strong. I've been in your situation (not having a degree, wasting my time) and I'm only now seeing the end now.

I'll pray for you


fa4272  No.763655

>I’m trying to finish school and get a degree despite being a sophomore in my early twenties

Sounds like you have insecurity problems. There are people who look like they're in their 40s in the classes I take.

>being hedonist because the doubt in Christianity is so strong

If you doubt Christianity, then research it. Look at christian resources and watch Christian YouTube videos talking about the proof for Christ and his gospel.

◄ 1 Thessalonians 5:21 ►

But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good;


570f4c  No.763678

File: ebd4fd1a2f8d063⋯.jpg (16.83 KB, 266x400, 133:200, 41i2jc430bL._AC_SY400_.jpg)

>>763600

I'm not EO but pic related may be very helpful to you. I read it over Christmas vacation and realized that if I were to write a book today every page of Nihilism the Root of the Revolution of the Modern Age would be included. The Orthodox priest hits the nail on the head about what is plaguing out society and why you feel the way that you do. I hope it grants you relief, anon, and that you begom gadolig.

>https://www.amazon.com/Nihilism-Root-Revolution-Modern-Age/dp/1887904069


dfaeaf  No.763679

>>763678

Also for discovering God

>https://youtu.be/9FvYwpyFbIQ


d9a5f8  No.763680

Read or listen to a Man Who was Thursday, it's written for this and is a really good fiction book.

Author has had psychologists come up to him and tell him it's been the only thing that's worked for his "morbid" patients.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7zo5FW6wos

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1695/1695-h/1695-h.htm


d9a5f8  No.763681

>>763680

The opening poem

cloud was on the mind of men, and wailing went the weather,

Yea, a sick cloud upon the soul when we were boys together.

Science announced nonentity and art admired decay;

The world was old and ended: but you and I were gay;

Round us in antic order their crippled vices came—

Lust that had lost its laughter, fear that had lost its shame.

Like the white lock of Whistler, that lit our aimless gloom,

Men showed their own white feather as proudly as a plume.

Life was a fly that faded, and death a drone that stung;

The world was very old indeed when you and I were young.

They twisted even decent sin to shapes not to be named:

Men were ashamed of honour; but we were not ashamed.

Weak if we were and foolish, not thus we failed, not thus;

When that black Baal blocked the heavens he had no hymns from us

Children we were—our forts of sand were even as weak as we,

High as they went we piled them up to break that bitter sea.

Fools as we were in motley, all jangling and absurd,

When all church bells were silent our cap and bells were heard.

Not all unhelped we held the fort, our tiny flags unfurled;

Some giants laboured in that cloud to lift it from the world.

I find again the book we found, I feel the hour that flings

Far out of fish-shaped Paumanok some cry of cleaner things;

And the Green Carnation withered, as in forest fires that pass,

Roared in the wind of all the world ten million leaves of grass;

Or sane and sweet and sudden as a bird sings in the rain—

Truth out of Tusitala spoke and pleasure out of pain.

Yea, cool and clear and sudden as a bird sings in the grey,

Dunedin to Samoa spoke, and darkness unto day.

But we were young; we lived to see God break their bitter charms.

God and the good Republic come riding back in arms:

We have seen the City of Mansoul, even as it rocked, relieved—

Blessed are they who did not see, but being blind, believed.

This is a tale of those old fears, even of those emptied hells,

And none but you shall understand the true thing that it tells—

Of what colossal gods of shame could cow men and yet crash,

Of what huge devils hid the stars, yet fell at a pistol flash.

The doubts that were so plain to chase, so dreadful to withstand—

Oh, who shall understand but you; yea, who shall understand?

The doubts that drove us through the night as we two talked amain,

And day had broken on the streets e’er it broke upon the brain.

Between us, by the peace of God, such truth can now be told;

Yea, there is strength in striking root and good in growing old.

We have found common things at last and marriage and a creed,

And I may safely write it now, and you may safely read.

G. K. C.


ffdbee  No.763691

>>763655

It’s all I’ve known since I graduated high school, and all my family has pushed. I’ve been struggling to finish since I was 17 and started; I was removed for being deemed a high suicide risk and have been attending on and off, sometimes homeless, ever since. I was never offered any actual means of resolving or improving my mental state l, just kicked out when I went for help and unable to ever finish with no friends and an increasingly dismissive family for several years. I’m almost 23 now and still a sophomore after the university lost applications spring of last year and I had a breakdown last semester, and now the university didn’t give me a place to stay for

the first week of classes and I messed up the payment plan and will likely be kicked out Friday for missing the deadline which removes all your classes. It’s not pleasant do feel like more of a failure every day for almost six continuous years with no friends and no help that won’t turn on you.




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