How do you deal with it? Ascertain whether it is the Lord urging you to do His bidding or just what I did back then coming back to haunt me or just mental disorder? If so, then how?
Long story short. Since I was little, I could never live without music. I probably spent my waking moments with headphone on than off (only took it off during classes/in direct company of others). I played guitar and piano casually back then. Until the college years that I was enticed by the world and lived like rubbish. But I never killed my passion and my spirit completely, I just swept it under the rug and compromised with it. Then when I became disillusioned with this fallen world, I came back to the Lord like when I was little. Slowly but surely, I have regained myself and who I truly am like during my adolescent.
The catch is, the passion is taking me all over. I became withdrawn from this world, friends, and family; I want to do nothing more than just to listen to music, to play music (in case anyone ask, mostly instrumental, piano solo, and some few others pop-rock), and nothing else but those save for our Lord.
Should I let myself go with this passion come what may? I am not really sure, but I am really happy with it. Maybe I still have doubts? I do not know, I can barely think or talk straight these days. I need some thoughts on it.