/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

Just because you had a vision of what was most likely a demon does not mean you are possessed. You are not possessed. Trust me. If you were it would be pretty obvious. Possessed people have very overt behaviors that give them away. Are demons involved in your life? Yeah, they are involved in all of our lives because we live in a fallen world and they would like nothing more than to cause us to sin or apostatize, but that's not the same thing as possession.

>>735379

I know what you mean, op.

>be me

>see imaginary characters

>they eventually start talking to me

>they eventually do demon stuff like predict future and disclose information

>find out they match the descriptions and sometimes even names of certain demons

>fug

You’re not alone, op. There’s a lot of us. Society made the mistake of telling us the imagination isn’t real. While this is TECHNICALLY true, real things can use your imagination to communicate with you.

>>735384

I feel troubled in ways, but they might be due to the society I was born into. Still, maybe the devil has prevented me from overcoming them.

Almost every morning and afternoon, I feel depressed and have no energy. It has been this way since I was a child. I do not know why. Around 7 at night, I become energized and feel normal. I have great trouble sleeping, but I am not anxiety-ridden at night. I've tried every kind of sleeping medication and sleep hygiene practice. I have been through countless tests for health problems and beyond low thyroid that has been corrected, I am OK.

My home as a child was very violent and chaotic. I thought every day my parents might literally kill one or the other. I was very young, and remembered hearing that people shouldn't hit girls. So, I wanted to be a girl when I was younger. I had no strength, no knowledge of the world, no life experience, no awareness that I would be an adult one adult and this was just a relatively short part of my life. There was nothing sexual about it, and I didn't actually think it was possible to become a girl. This was back when 99% didn't know what a transgender was.

When I got older, I was able to feel safer and I could fight back with my words. I also understood I had the opportunity to escape by becoming a good student, and getting a good job. I stopped wanting to be a girl, and have never wanted to be a girl since.

Had I been a child today, I probably would be labeled as autistic. I took an online test that psychologists use, and it said I have a high chance of being autistic, although the test itself is not a diagnosis. I am not saying I am autistic, but I have traits. I don't really see this as necessarily bad since autistic people can sometimes do things normal people can't. But I've always been so lonely. I've met people who want to be my friend, but somehow it always ends because I come across as odd. Sometimes I think it's just society, because maybe if I were alive in a different time but with my same characteristics, I wouldn't be so lonely. I like doing things for my parents yard – moving wood, raking, shoveling, etc. I don't sit around and play video games all day, so I can be useful, but I just don't understand people. I feel like an alien. I used to dress very unusually, and just be all around weird.

I drew a lot as a kid, and I even went to art school, although that was because I felt so lost. I didn't understand the world, or what options I had for a career, or how money worked. I felt so clueless about the world, and my parents never taught me anything – not even how to tie to my shoes. I've struggled to draw for years, but have gotten somewhat back into it. I made my last drawing inspired by a dream, and at first I thought the dream was from God, but maybe it's from the devil. Maybe I'm supposed to give up drawing because it ruined my life. Maybe I'm terrible at it and it's causing me to not do other activities.

I've struggled with relationships with women. Most of the women I've had relationships with or wanted to were really left-wing feminists, but that was before I understood what feminism was. I just ignored when they said feminist things. I always don't think I was very attractive. Again I used to dress really weird and not care that I was really skinny, and I think my artistic nature led me to do this, but it led women to either not like me, or for messed up women to be attracted to me. And they'd get frustrated with me for not being liberal enough, or not wanting to go out drinking, and not being "fun" according to our society's definition of it.

>>735567

Part 2:

Again, I wonder if my path in art was a mistake and I was mislead by the devil. I thought the angel I saw as a kid was good when I was a kid. That's the only vision I've had my entire life. I don't see or hear things like a mentally ill person would.

I wondered if I was gay once. This was long before I got red-pilled. I thought, I'm so depressed, lonely, and suicidal, and liberals say gay people are like that because they denying their true selves, and society is encouraging them to repress themselves. When I was a kid, I was always called gay by other kids because of my skinny appearance, sensitivity, and autistic-qualities.

I tried hanging around some gay people that I met in school, but I never engaged in any homosexual activity or "dated" anyone. I just wasn't gay, and I'm glad. I've learned a lot about homosexuality since and how bad it really is.

I'm so tired all the time. What I've really wanted to do is deep down so whatever God wants of me, and I thought that was drawing, but I wonder if that was me being fooled by the devil.

Now I work in a field that is dominated by liberal women. I struggle to even feel like a man today. I am a quiet person, and I like practicing stoicism, and this helps me feel more masculine.

I feel so physically tired every day, but if I sleep during the day, I can't sleep at night, and then I feel like I'm not myself when I'm extra tired. I feel more emotional – like a woman.

I am not married, and even the thought of my parents depresses me. My dad goes to church and thinks he is a good man. He helps his neighbors and friends, but they have no idea how downright murderous he was. I've somewhat forgiven him as I speak to him all the time and help him with things, but I do not love him, nor my mother for the terror she inflicted on me as a child.

I am not close to my sister, even though I have tried. I think she is struggling with her own problems, and I've given up after years of trying to be a good brother.

My greatest fear is that I am failing God or I will fail God. I know I sin every day, but I am trying to be guided by true light, not Satanic light.

Please God give me strength to fight on my own, if that is your will, so I can learn and become a better man every day.