Why do I keep destroying my friendships and how to stop?

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Why do I keep destroying my friendships and how to stop? Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 11:40:51 a79279 No.723942

Ever since I was a teen, I just cant form and keep long lasting friendships. The few people that I got close to, I only end up pushing them away one way or another. Either because I am so angered by something of them or I just vent my wrath on them whenever I am down or in a bad mood.

I dont want to be a monster, I want to be able to love but I keep getting in the way

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 14:47:10 011a6e No.723985

There are psychological issues causing this, try to find the problem at the root. Look for help/therapy if necessary.

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 15:31:17 2fe3ff No.723991

>>723985

Are you implying I am crazy?

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 16:01:46 921494 No.724001

>>723991

I'm not the guy you're replying to, but not only "the crazy" can benefit from therapy, just like not only the "mortally ill" can benefit from going to a physician or not only the worst of sinners can benefit from going to a priest.

If you are OP (different IDs?) and really have a problem forming&keeping long lasting friendships and it has a subjective or objective negative impact on your life then you can definitely benefit from, on your own or with the help of a trained professional, finding the cause and then working on it.

There's no need to get defensive about it, none of us are perfect.

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 16:04:28 a13665 No.724003

File: cacd7fab88231d7⋯.gif (661.43 KB, 288x422, 144:211, 8a9dc6c6796545bd140b853684….gif)

>>723991

The majority of people have some sort of psychological issues anon, he is not implying you are crazy. The need for self reflection and improvement doesn't mean psychosis.

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 16:50:40 2fe3ff No.724021

>>724001

I was at a starbucks when I made that. Now I am at home alone and dying

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 17:09:46 a13665 No.724028

File: 9d92586e147705d⋯.png (216.57 KB, 484x488, 121:122, CVxyBZCUkAQtiXs.png)

>>724021

Can you give an example from the past of when you pushed someone away so that we can better understand what you are going through? I don't want you to feel like you are dying

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 17:46:34 2fe3ff No.724034

>>724028

Once my mother beat and shouted at me. I was just so angry that I need somewhere to let it all out and that happened when I was talking to my friend about Iron Man.

I just blurted out how he is gay for thinking it was a tood movie and I swore at him. We never talk again since then

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 18:06:43 a13665 No.724041

File: f39746aeec2d604⋯.png (213.86 KB, 654x521, 654:521, czy jestem gotowy.png)

>>724034

I also have had abusive parents (alcoholics and benzos) so I can sympathize. Do you actually like the people you are friends with or are you just settling for normalfags because you can't find like-minded people to develop camaraderie with? It is preferable to strive for quality over quantity when it comes to relationships of any kind.

I used to have an unhealthy rage just as you did. I think it would be good to take after Anton Chekhov in this case. Once he was old enough to develop independence, however meager his means were, he could find purpose in his life and create an emotional distance between himself and what his poor and abusive family had inflicted upon him. He saw that in many ways they were more victims than the oppressors he had always deemed them. He could forgive them in a godly way and even reconcile much of his family. A mirthful detachment goes a long way in this. If you steel your personality and are able to see the comedy in life you become nigh invincible to the petty insults of other people. God is always your ultimate companion in any case.

Do you have any life purpose or goals in life? This helps me as I always have something to busy myself with rather than fret over what other people are doing. Making yourself embittered over what others do is often just a distraction from anything worthwhile or important.

Maybe your friend deserved it for liking capeshit, though that is somewhat of a retarded thing to lose a friendship over

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 18:20:46 2fe3ff No.724048

>>724041

That is one example. I cant get on well with normies at all. All they talk about are just Netflix shows and pokemon, both I dont have any interest in.

I will check out the vid you sent me. The problem is me. I cant blame my mother because she has mental problems and take meds. I dont. My mother is in fact, when she isnt on her bipolar mode does genuinely love me, and so I know I cant get mad if she bursts into an episode. Yet I do and I nearly always get fueled with rage.

I dont feel I have any purpose in life. It feels so meaningless. Ideally I want to leave for a seminary or move to grad studies but while I am not poor, I have not enough money for them and with my bad psychological state I dont think I can.

I have to cut off contact with the friends I genuinely love and feel connection with, because of my weak control over my emotions that dedstroy any bond we made

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 18:30:47 a13665 No.724051

>>724048

I didn't send you a vid, but if you mean the picture I just thought it was funny so I don't know how the actual vid is even though I can speak polak. I know some people on this board will disagree with me but I think it is best to just ignore normalfags and not interact with them more them necessary. The distance helps you put them in a more forgiving light, and free association is not hatred at any rate.

You have a commendable and mature attitude towards your mother, and I still struggle with a similar issue, so again, I can understand your rage. Even if you love her, and actually because you love her, I think you should find a way to put some healthy distance between yourself and her. It is not like you will be able to live with her your entire life anyway, so it might be wise to move out. I know circumstances might make this inconvenient.

I think you not having any purpose to your is the biggest issue. When you find one things often come into perspective and many issues resolve themselves naturally. Do you have any idea of what you might want to spend your life doing? A vocation? And you don't necessarily have to cut contact with your genuine friends if you improve your emotional stability.

Christanon 11/04/18 (Sun) 18:32:49 a13665 No.724052

>>724051

>more than necessary*

>any purpose to your life*

didn't get much sleep