Without getting too specific, basically im really paranoid. its a problem. well i got into road rage with this guy and he ended up pulling an ar15 on us so i sped off. my friend in the passenger seat was with me. i go into my normal schizo/paranoid episode asking him second after second if he's still on us, if we'll be alright, etc. well he doesnt like this one bit so he blocks mee off everything. what do i do. i tried reconnecting with him but its been futile. this is the last thing i ever sent to him before i lost communication with him:
To My Friend,
Beloved friend, I have known thee for many years. I have great memories because of the good times we’ve had. We seem to have a common bond, and that bond appears to be one of contempt. You and I both hate this world. We are both outsiders to the commonfolk. Now I do not know if this is because you’ve hanged out with me for so long and it is my own perception, or if you too truly feel at odds with this world, but I can confidently say that we do not ‘fit in’ with everybody else. You hate most of the people at work, and understandably so. They are predictable sheep. You know as well as I do that they are just NPC’s roaming the world with no determined pathfinding algorithm. You say an off color joke, and they freeze. They simply cannot comprehend something that is outside of their programming. It causes a malfunction, a glitch if you will. Instead of understanding this glitch however the NPC continues on as if nothing happened. In fact, a default behavior of the npc is to deflect the glitch and misunderstanding onto YOU. The effect this has is it makes YOU look like the fool, YOU look like the one who is out of line, YOU who is not normal. Well my friend, we are not normal, and that is the way it will always be.
To become a part of this world would be death. Not death in a physical sense, but one of a spiritual sense. What good would it do you to subscribe to the beliefs of this world if it means losing who you truly are. You would surely gain in the ways of mental inebriation. You would become sedated; pilled; drugged. You would integrate wholly into this world and melt into your engineered surroundings without a care in the world. To join this world is death, but to depart is freedom. Let me ask you; would you rather be part of the stream, or a rock abrasing it? I for one cannot truly say. It would be easier to go with the flow, acknowledge the common beliefs, and live a life of complacency, indolence, and sedateness. I know however that this is not the life for you or I. You my friend, are special. You have many talents and I urge you to capitalize on them. You have a weak foundation in faith, but a weak foundation is upmillionths times stronger than no foundation. I urge you to seek God. My life has become more meaningful ever since realizing that God has a place for me. friend, you may think that all is lost, that all is pointless, but I can assure you, that God has a plan for you. You are special, and God has made it that way. Pull yourself out from this repetitive pit of despair and wantonness. Seek God and you will be rewarded immensely.
With Love and Care,
Anon