/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

GENERAL EXPECTATIONS AND WHAT TO WRITE

>What can I expect?

This varies on population density, as larger towns will have more "low quality" suitors and rural areas will have fewer, higher quality yet distant ones.

>What about pictures

Post pics from your social media to make you easy to identify if you're gonna be a cheap skate. Make sure the pictures show you at your best and give glory to God. If you don't have social media get your family/friends to take or scan in pictures of you in your Sunday best and business casual, nerd.

Introduction

Start with your full name and stick to facts (age, weight, height) and hobbies. List and label yourself as an "ultra-traditional your denomination" of however many years.

What You're Looking For

The following are the ideals one should aspire to in themselves and their mate, the expectation is that you look for a person who has the same shortcomings you do. Feel free to copy and paste this to your dating profile as needed.

>No Degeneracy

Illicit drug and alcohol abuse are hedonist. No drinking is best, but open to taste. Minimal secular media consumption limits the ability of the devil to work against your life. KIK/SNAPCHAT/SELFIES ARE INDICATORS OF SOLIPSISM, A HUGE RED FLAG.

>No body modifications

Tattoos, hair color changes and piercings are signs of self doubt, as the person doesn't believe that they are interesting enough on their own as representatives of God.

>Sexual Responsibility and Family Mindset

You want children and desire a traditionally Christian household. State that you don't want sex before marriage. No sex until marriage respects not just to your partner but to yourself. No fapping either.

>Sexual Roles

-Men should have a Sunday best for church (blazer, shirt, tie, slacks, and dress shoes), business and/or casual in general, and be assertive in regards to considering themselves, their woman, and the people important to each other.

-Women should enjoy wearing dresses and skirts in church and in public, use modest amounts of makeup and jewelry (if any), delight in submission, and earn respect of themselves from others.

>Misc Demographics

Recommended height up to +/- 6in or 15cm, aged +/- 5 years from each other. To taste.

Similar body types, gym/church attendance rates, intellectual pursuits, income levels, race, etc.

"OPPOSITES ATTRACT" IS A LIE

telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/12170295/Relationships-opposites-do-not-attract-scientists-prove.html

FAQ

>What will people think?

Don't worry about it. Care about your goal of embarking on a proper Christian journey of marriage with a mate you will see as your peer.

>I can't find my denom, what do?

As long as you both believe the Nicene Creed and the Chalcedonian Definition, personal, doctrinal, and familial tastes and compromises apply.

>First date?

Coffee shop. Low investment opportunity to see if the truth lives up to the small talk.

>Fission Mailed, what do?

If you don't make a lasting connection in 3 months of honest effort, take a break, continue to improve yourself in Christ, then try again when you're further along.

>Wah, why are girls so hard to find?

Instead of focusing on the woman, focus on making yourself the kind of man that your ideal woman wants. Stop hiding your cowardice and self hatred as inability on your part or impossibility on her part.

>What's your personal experience?

There are tons of lovely christian girls 18-25 on these sites. I was starting to burn out because I was in my late 20's and all the christmas cake on the site were either divorced, had kids out of wedlock, hit the wall, desperate, etc. If you are younger should have much more success than I did if you're just as devout. I got the six month plan, got burned out 2 months in, met a nice girl who was 3 hours away, then managed to find my waifu right before the 3 month mark, and wasted the other 3 months I paid for. I am certain that my personal adherance to all of the above mentioned was essential to my success but your mileage may vary.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS IN ORDER TO UPDATE OP FOR FUTURE THREADS

MAY THE PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU

are whites allowed in korean church gonno hunt for a wife

>>671002

in cat churches yes

>>671035

what about coC

How do I find a virgin orthodox wife? I am a virgin myself and would like a wife who also respects herself the same.

>>670973

I'm currently “non denominational” but leaning Catholic. Should I wait until this matter is settled or make an attempt now?

How do I fix my perception of women after having a terrible relationship with my mother?

fix your relationship with your mother

why would yellow fever tiggas be christian?

Ok guys, I'm gunna lay it all down for ya

First thing you have to do to get a handholdless shy busty sociable girlfriend is start taking showers. Before I started trying to get a girlfriend I maybe took a shower every three months, now I take three a day, one before each meal. As soon as you do that you'll start seeing some interest.

Next thing you got to do is develop a few surrogate activities. Learn a language, an instruments, and any hobby in which you make things with your hands to start. If you don't do this women will come flying at you, because of the showers, but will quickly grow bored and walk away, because they have the brains of fourteenyearolds.

Greek is always good to impress Christian girls, but one language usually isn't enough to seal the deal so you should learn at least two to be safe, probably Hebrew, Latin, or Turkish depending on if your Protestant, c*tholic, or Orthodox. If your more outgoing then learn guitar, but if your more reserved learn to play paino, or maybe violin if you struggle from homosexual tendencies. Carpentry is the obvious choice for a hobby because Joseph and Jesus, and fishing is another good one.

Now that women are coming to you and keeping up a conversation you have to remember the most important part, don't put that pussy on a pedestal. Women are basically here to make more men, and to make more women to make men, so don't get yourself worked up thinking that his person is someone made in the image of God worthy or respect for simply existing. No matter how much she might seem like a spiritual woman who would be a great aid throughout your life you need to remember she's just doing what her dad raised her to do, so if you like her for all that stuff your being gay. Woman can't really be spiritual and it's your job to make her do the things you want so ou need to start breaking her spirits early, that's were negs come in. You need to make negative comments about her actions, appearances, and basically anything else you can think of. Tell her how her clothes don't fit because her body is oddly shaped, that she misspronounces words and her jokes aren't funny, and basically anything else you can think of.

I'm not saying white woman aren't worth your time, but every single one of them has vaginas that resemble roast beef from the massive amounts of cock they have been taking since they were twelve and their DNA is changed from the massive seed deposits they've ingested from every hole on their body. Traditional asian woman are simply the way to go, every single one of them either is a Christian or is one Gospel tract away from accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord, and they won't really change their behavior after being saved because they already act exactly the way all Christians should be acting. You shouldn't settle for anyone who has ever touched themselves before whether to pleasure themselves or in the process of peeing, nothing is too good for you. This lines up well with the supremacy of Asian woman as none of them know what masturbation is and they never pee.Once your dating though feel free to get up to third base, that is, feel free to make out, touch her boobs, and shove your cock down her throat, but do not kiss her ear, that is a very sexual zone for women.

I haven't even mentioned going to the gym or church so far because I expect you are already doing both daily. Set up your schedule for both and never sway from it. Lifting is really the only important thing at the gym and reading the Bible at Church, but you can do some other exercises at the gym and pray at church to make yourself look more well rounded to the normies at each place that don't get what's really important.

One important thing to remember early on, like when your only a few dozen showers in and are only getting to the intermediate stage of your first language, is not to settle for uggos. God loves people who love Him and God makes people he loves pretty, so if she look bad she make God sad, and you can feel totally fine completely writing her off.

Once your clean, polylingual, a musician, and accomplished in your hobby and you have found a shy submissive Christian Asian virgin who wants to marry you then you have to start doing things like basic conversation. It might seem like your supposed to stare at her breasts, because you want to so much, but while talking to people you are actually supposed to look them in the eyes. This might be difficult at first but it is very important. The only other place you should be looking is their feet as you can tell what has a womans attention from her feet. If her feet are point at you then things are going good, but if you ever see her feet start pointing at another man then you need to immediately berate her for any reason you can think of until those babys are pointed back at you. Conversation can be hard, but the key is treating her like a person and asking her questions. Know you might think that the best way to have a coversation is the two of you going back and forth stating facts with little relation to each other, but I have found through extensive research that conversation works better when some statements of fact are made and some questions are asked, usually at least tangentially related to the statements of fact, but not necessarily very related.

Before you start doing any of this you should have a good job. If you don't already have a salaried job where you're making at least $100,000 a year I would recommend suicide, but it is possible to turn your wretched life around, just very unlikely. It's important to remember that men are the supporters of the family so any woman your seeing shouldn't have a job and you should be financially responsible for her from the second or third date. Any professional experience is a red flag, and to be safe you shouldn't date any woman who has worked a job the isn't directly related to what she would be doing in your household, for example having been a babysitter, cleaner, or baker would all be fine. Your girl should always be wearing a dress and if she wears anything else you probably should break up, although in my experience it is ok to simply give a warning in the case of a woman wearing a modest long skirt, they usually learn and get rid of their non dress clothes. If you have the ability check out her closet early on and if you see a suit drop her on the spot.

Really the most important thing is getting your dick wet in a fertile Christian womb, and if you take my brand of the red pill which has never been tried before this will be super easy for you and if you disagree with me on any aspect of what I have said you can go whinny your own poo

>>671149

If there is a parish nearby doing RCIA, try to get in. Summer is a common time.

>>671298

Meant to add you may meet some qties there or after mass or ministries.

I made an account on ChristianMingle, forgot about it, and returned to about a dozen messages. I feel caught in a conundrum, because I don't honestly feel ready to date, I'm busy with college and need to save money.

I didn't realize you could be messaged without matching; I had just been trying to get an idea of the demographics. I'm Baptist, but by far not IFB or Steven Anderson-esque, and several of the girls were either Baptist or Non-Denom.

I'm also flirting with Orthodoxy, although I have major hangups right now. I would like a wife with a missionary focus, and several of the Baptist girls talk about having a heart for missions, which interests me.

>>671332

I assume you're a guy? Are you good looking? If you got messages as a guy using online dating, that's amazing lifefuel. I've always wanted to try it but I'm not that good looking so I have been nervous to.

Are there alot of Baptist/evangelicals/non-denoms on that site? That was my guess, and I want to confirm. I'm LCMS and am looking for a traditional girl.

>>671296

>>671297

I know this is hyperbole and sarcasm but this is hilarious. Honestly, you sound like alot of people I've talked to both here and on other sites when it comes to women.

>>671382

>>671332

> would like a wife with a missionary focus

Nevermind I'm dumb, you're clearly a dude. Question still stands.

>>671382

>I assume you're a guy?

*checks really quick*

Yeah, it looks like I still am.

>Are you good looking?

I certainly don't feel like it. I did say that I enjoy lifting weights and working out, but I am dyel.

My profile was really simple, I don't think I even put in my height, just a basic overview of who I am, my desire to preach Christ crucified, my desire for the propagation of the Gospel, and a goal of raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

>Are there alot of Baptist/evangelicals/non-denoms on that site? That was my guess, and I want to confirm. I'm LCMS and am looking for a traditional girl.

There's a wide variety. I'd make an account if I were you, maybe consider paying for the 3 months plan, and filter by Lutheran/Presby/Anglican girls.

>>671297

I…. I'm saving this.

>>671444

I am >>671382,

How were your experiences with tradthots, if any? I have a genuine fear of being taken advantage of for my faith by a harlot.

>>671296

>a handholdless shy busty sociable girlfriend

>handholdless

Brah such pureness hasn't existed in these Western lands for more than 500 full moons.

>>671296

>that ending

i laughed out loud

>>671473

>How were your experiences with tradthots, if any? I have a genuine fear of being taken advantage of for my faith by a harlot.

Ha, not every girl is a thot. There are many young women who take their faith seriously. I dated an trad girl who was a recent convert and a bit of a mess herself; she was more flirty than I felt comfortable with, but I think that was more due to her being new in her faith.

I've met many more girls who honestly took their faith more seriously than I; it really depends on their church, their family, and their commitment to Christ. A robust prayer life and personal devotions is an important litmus test; I haven't met a thot who feeds herself spiritually as often as she can.

>>671564

Good post. Here's a video for everyone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e7slbAugBQ

>>671564

>Ha, not every girl is a thot.

I didn't realize that not all women breath

>>671122

From what I've gathered talk to the priests wife (assuming he has one), apparently they know many young orthodox women so the chances of one of them being a virgin is high.

>>671704

Are you implying that every woman who breathes is a ho, and does saying so being honor to them?

>"Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father; treat younger men like brothers, older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity." (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

>>671643

>tattoos

>whore makeup

>immodest clothing

>no head covering

hmm

>>671729

If she breath she a thot, I don't make the rules

As an ex-degenerate non-virgin, it doesn't seem right for me to have a pure trad wife. What signs am I looking for to know if a girl who is a recent convert or has a similar degenerate past is serious about her relationship with God? She'd probably be doing the same for me, but it's different for men and women.

>>672049

Modest dressing, no tattoos (or a visible indication that she regrets having them and/or plans on removing them), avoids junk TV like the Kardashians, reads the Bible, prays daily, isn't a feminist, pro life.

Those are just some of the criteria I would apply.

>date a chubby but sweet girl from church when I'm 18

>she's 20 and studying to be a pastors wife

>she's nice but comes from an unchristian family

>she went to public school, I was homeschooled

>she listened to secular pop music, I listened to the Psalms and hymns

>we both loved talking about Christ and our devotions, though, and we both wanted to be missionaries

>she wanted a nose ring, tattoos, and wore progressively shorter skirts, which made me uncomfortable

>I've fallen for her, though, and care about her, so I ignore it

>older (25+) female friends at church tell me to be cautious

>We have a romantic evening sitting next to each other at Christmas Eve service

>afterwards I walk her home in the Sub-Zero weather, enjoying the Christmas lights on the way

>we kiss for the first time on her porch

>I get home and see she sent a snap

>It's her from her lower shoulders up, cleavage visible, and no shirt on in the bathroom

>you can see her whole back in the mirror, fat rolls and everything

>she has some message about thanking me for the night

>I felt sick, I didn't expect her to turn out like a hoe

>Didn't sleep all night

>she comes over to our home after we open Christmas presents

>tries to sit on my lap when my parents aren't around

>I tell her we can't do this and that if we're a temptation to each other we should put the brakes on our relationship

>she's angry and leaves, accuses me of not being attracted to her because she's overweight

>calls me crying to apologize the next day

>keeps texting me all the time and sitting nearby at church

>starts dating another guy at church who's nice and has a decent-paying job

>ends up getting pregnant with his child a few months later

>acts like a victim and tells my sister that he seduced her

>he gets married because he fells obligated to

Other girls in my church warned me about her and I'm glad that I got out when I did. Decent Christian girls can usually seem to spot ones who are ingenuine about their faith. Find an older Christian lady, lads, and ask her to help find a woman serious about her faith.

>>672087

I would add to this, a hunger for holy living and a desire to share and spread the Gospel.

>>672131

You're a stronger man than I, anon. Reading this I realize I probably would have kept looking past clear signs just to make it work and likely sin or suffer for it. She must have some family issues for her to end up that way.

>talk to greek looking girl at mass

>she has a head covering but otherwise dressed in revealing/tight clothing

>repeats sede memes while using basic theological terminology wrong

>guys at church fawn over her as some pargon of tradition

But wait lads there's a punchline to the joke

>i found out she works as a stripper and literally winnie the poohs about three guys on the regular

Beware the tradthot, my brothers.

>>672169

>tradthot

This exists? Man there isnt any shortage of deception going on out there huh

>>672194

have you ever told her she's wrong?

>>672215

This. Especially the abortion thing. Remember that you're meant to lead in spiritual matters within a relationship. Rebuke. Rebuke. Rebuke.

>>672194

What cases?

The important thing to remember about abortion is that all of the problems wouldn't really exist if we lived in a truly Christian nation.

>>672299

And what is her argument for justifying it under rape? That it takes away people’s plans? That it’s wrong to carry a rapists child?

Friends, as of last week I became single again. This is undoubtedly a good thing, as there seemed to be little trust in the relationship from her side of things.

>>672299

you don't need a wife, you just want one. Don't assume you're entitled to anything, if God believes you are ready, he will give way for you. Maybe this woman is just a sign that you truly aren't ready for marriage yet.

>>671296

>>671297

Based yellow fever poster

wtf I want to marry an asian now

>>671484

not unless she's never dated before

>>672348

Move out if possible.

>>672339

Did you read what I wrote? Are you a friend who is new?

>>672348

East coaster stuck in Democratic People's Republic of Massachusetts that can't find a godly woman here either brother.

>>672862

Good luck, friend. Let the lord help us find a godly woman.

Gonna confess to a girl that I've known and befriend for awhile. She has fears about marriage in general because of a hard childhood and failed parental marriage, so I don't expect her to change her All I know is that I need to get this out of my chest

>>673140

>Can't delete my post after accidentally clicking on Reply

Joy! Meant to say that I don't expect her to change her . I only want to assure her that 1. She would make a great wife if she was only willing. 2. We are truly alike in ways she might not have seen before. 3. She has the most beautiful soul I've ever seen. She's not the most physically pretty, but, you know, screw it! If a girl is your girl, your waifu, it doesn't matter. She is the most beautiful physically. There have several thing in the past few months that has been leading me to believe that I haven't been mistaken about her, that God might be giving her to be my wife.

Not only do I need to get this off my chest, I want to follow God's wisdom: "Better an open rebuke, then hidden love." (Proverbs 25:7). I do need prayers that I don't be a butt, a coward, or a sperg.

>>673145

>need prayer

Got you covered. Just said one for you.

Advice for what to when I initially meet her? I don't want to be friendzoned day 1.

>>673487

Just bee urself

>>675558

>s*xting is harmful

>how do I not do it ?

By not doing it ? Pray the Rosary daily and make her praying it, too. The Rosary will break your sin.

I am 19 and starting a 4 year college. How long should I wait for marriage? The horny is getting to me, but I can't afford a child before I graduate.

>>675735

Why?

Why do I only see balding betas with Asian women or very old men. Its not a very good look. Just sayin. I work at entertainment shows and I see them all the time, there is no in between.

>>671161

You forgive your mom and try to find something in her that is worthy of love.

I don't think it's possible to have a wholesome, loving relationship with another woman as long as you hate your mom.

Anger is different, but you must fundamentally learn to love your mom in order to move on.

>>675558

>My girlfriend and I struggle from temptations/lust, especially when we text. We both have problems with masturbation. How do we keep our texting non-sinful?

I've been in two relationships, one of them ended up with us being engaged and then calling it off for reasons, the other was her unable to have self control, mainly with her diet - she would gain up to 50 lbs over a winter, then she would nearly kill herself trying to lose it over the summer - but it was also expressed in other ways, like lust. I ended it when she sent me a photo of the undergarments laid out on her bed that she chose to wear to church that day. The other was a nice trad girl who was very modest and loved Christ, but it was odd I was a Baptist preachers son, she was Baptist girl from a large conservative family… and she converted to Catholicism.

As the male in the relationship, you are responsible to guide conversation. You can easily Google prayers about temptation, but I also suggest memorizing Scripture regarding it, and pulling your mind back to it when impure conversation arises.

>"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8 RSV)

>"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" (Romans 6:1-2 RSV)

>"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."" (Matthew 26:41 RSV)

>"Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one; but each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren." (James 1:12-16 RSV)

>>675558

I never got why zoomers text so much. It's boring.

>>675575

Finish the college degree and work, then get married. So through your early 20's you can hopefully get to know a girl and her family, not through dating but courting. Since you are horny, going on dates with just her wont help, the solution is to just surround yourself with her and others until you are ready to get engaged with her. be patient aswell, try and get rid of passions of lust, focus on yourself, your buddies and things that matter.

>>677837

t. coping roastie

>>677836

No one but yourself can decide what to do. If you chose to ignore her you might think that you missed an opportunity and never get over it. Maybe the most courageous thing to do is to continue courting her, unitl you see enough redflags to put an end to it, or until you realize she's a actually a good girl. You just need to find out.

One thing though, I don't think you should invite girls over at your house like this. You know exactly where this can go, especially if you're on nofap.

>>677837

You know exactly what I meant here

>>677849

thanks for a response. Perhaps I will find we're just not suitable and the problem will solve itself just like that.

Yeah. Inviting her over there was a huge mistake on my part. Especially this early. Since she does not know me well and she went on with this even though there was an option to go grab a coffee in the city it makes me wonder also. Perhaps I am over thinking it all and it isn't a red flag.

>>677836

For what it's worth, my wife is a year older than me, was abused by her parents her whole early life, and then those parents killed themselves in the same year after I met her when we were 18. My childhood was no better, methlab baby raised myself in the early years, forced to drop out of school by father because he was tired of taking me to school, etc etc etc.

Been married 7 / together for 11 years, kids, happiness, strong together.

Anyway my point is, stop looking for perfection, everyone has problems, get over the /pol/ fearmongering and take a chance on someone you click with. God gives each of us the person we're meant for in his time. But you might lose that person if you never take chances.

The hatred for women by todays men is a satanic subversion just as men are hated by women through feminism.

>>677049

I'm the same way, and I was born in '98. There's just not that same connection from texting that you get from talking face to face. I only text people for important things, or to schedule a time to meet up in person, but I haven't had text conversations with anyone since high school.

>>677881

I do not seek perfection but I think we'll agree there are some things that should not be ignored when it comes to choosing your partner for the whole life. The things I posted here are far from fearmongering or hatred for women. They're just common sense. I think the main problem here is that I got over enthusiastic too early and then the reality hit me pretty hard. Perhaps it's the sign I am still not ready. I do believe God will send the right woman across my path once I am ready.

>>678195

reminder: Pilate was part of the Romen government which comprised the "authority" of the Roman Empire which came from Rome and spread across the whole face of the earth.

>>678230

If you don't even know here now fight these thought, go to church, and meet women you can actually get to know

>>678238

Glad to know it did some good. Yeah one tends to get all pessimistic after things like that. They can be disappointing but you know what men love them nevertheless. Well I hope I know what I am doing I am the >>677836 guy btw. I did make giant steps in the last year but at the same time the last year was mostly defeat after defeat for me (I have not found the one yet) with me coming out stronger and stronger out of it. Still it feels good to be on the right path. I trust God's plan and do my part as well as I can - the crashes are probably a part of all that. Tbh I have no idea how I'd cope if I did not believe in God/wasn't redpilled on things. I guess my life would feel like shit right now.

Well you don't need to be hateful to keep your distance from her. You'll get over her you won't even mind meeting her eventually.

There are great women out there….All we have to do is to get out there, put ourselves on the line, and get to know them. That's what our role is and there's no running away from that.

>grew up in a specific IFB circle

>all the girls in the families I knew were trad, mature, sweet, and intelligent

>I leave IFB because my theological convictions turn toward Orthodoxy

>there are no trad girls in any of the local parishes

>I question whether I should go back to my Baptist circles

>I know I couldn't do it with a good conscience, and I don't believe a lot of what I used to anymore

Does anyone have any experience with this? I met a half dozen Orthodox girls on ChristianMingle, but each one was irreconcilably feminist. I'm not against any sort of that, and I don't expect her to wear skirts and be barefoot, but all actively attacked anyone who thought that tattoos, extra-marital sex, and abortion were less than optimal.

>>678366

Feminism is anti-Christian. Just find a wife any which way and convert her to Orthodoxy.

>>678373

>Feminism is anti-Christian. Just find a wife any which way and convert her to Orthodoxy.

How do I reconcile that with "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV) I don't figure many trad Baptist or Gadolig girls would be willing to marry a spooky Orthodox, but I can't ever inagine marrying a non-Christian.

>>678366

Someone will come into your life in due time that you will love and have a great relationship with, keep focusing on what you know is right and a path will be created for you. Pray and search for signs that God is directing you to

I read Matthew 6:33 the other day in the orthodox study bible and it really got to me, I feel this verse will answer your question aswell.>>678189

>>678377

If you convert her she won't be a unbeliever anymore. Remember also "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her." (1 Corinthians 7:12), so I think the unequally yoked refers to people who are deliberately anti-Christian, like muslims or Jews, rather than people who are just confused.

>>678528

>Someone will come into your life in due time that you will love and have a great relationship with, keep focusing on what you know is right and a path will be created for you. Pray and search for signs that God is directing you to

Thank you for the encouragement, anon!

Our priest's wife lives states away (he commutes back and forth), but I did call her and ask about any young ladies she knew of, too. She seemed surprised I'd called and said that she really didn't know any, as their parish was pretty old, too.

>>678577

That's an unexpected interpretation. Thank you!

What happens if love hurts you more than anything? And i mean all kinds of love: love of self, love from women, love from Jesus…

Is it because of occultism i did like 9 years ago? (Been like this ever since.)

>>678320

Well said, brother. In similar situation to yours. I'm in a good spot too but I seem to still get over-enthusiastic really early, even if I give it a little space. Doesn't take long, maybe a week or 2. Probably not meant to drag it on past that anyhow…

>>678230

Well 800 followers on instagram seems like a red flag to me. Seeking attention frm guys online is never a good sign. However if you like her get there and try your chances. What else is there. One gets nothing by sitting on couch and saying "I'm not gonna make it"

I think I have Gynophobia.I have a sour relationship with my mother.Basic gist is my mother sheltered me when it came to extracurricular activities and i didn't have a room so i didn't have privacy.I tried to move with my uncle at 16 because I knew the environment was toxic to my overall mental health and it stunted my character growth.She didn't let me go for some reason, my uncle's only requirement was to work and I would've fulfill that no questions asked. So naturally over time, my mental health worsened and I began isolating myself. I eventually became NEET.

My father's presence in my life was like an NPC.He was there but he didn't bother getting involved.

My school life was okay for someone like me.I didn't get bullied,I was in good terms with the popular kids and if I had a different environment, the grass could've been greener.

Due to the rotten foundation,I can't see myself courting a girl nevertheless trust people at all.If a nice lady told me she has an interest in me,I will freak out (while doing poker face) and get myself away from her asap because in my mind I believe she will deceive and have a Cesarean relationship with me. I think that of others too. I believe that I developed this way thinking due to the constant broken promises,manipulation, and gaslighting my family has done to me.I get that people have their own lives to live and goals to accomplish but the broken promises and gaslighting is unnecessary. They should've been honest so my stress levels could be healthy.They are all christian, some are the atheists model of a christian(they believe just going to church is enough while ignoring the ten commandments and being degenerate) and this made me get away from the faith. Even though I consider myself of another faith, I still have an attraction towards The Ten Commandments,they seem like a nice guideline.

Overall, I sense that I suffer from Gynophobia and Paranoid Personality Disorder.I really need my character to grow and live my life the way I see fit but those two things will and are causing problems.

What do I do /christian/?

>>678645

If that love hurts its because you understand how far you were away from christ when you asked for his redemption. Which is a good thing. Now all you have to do is remember that isnt who you are anymore,you were born anew when you accepted christ. Satan will forever try to guilt trip you with those actions,but just quote the bible. John 8:36

>>680173

First you need to accept christ. Second pray for Him to mold you the way He wants you to be.

He may not want you to be suave with the ladies because He has a more important calling on your life. And third,Matt 6:33,Luke 12:31.

I was at a greek festival(really just a Balkan festival, but it was called a greek festival) in my city that a church was heading up. After I had some food and bought some things, I decided to take a tour of the massive church that was hosting it. It was beautiful, stone block walls, stained glass, chandeliers, and the like. On the tour I bumped into this girl about two years my minor. I made a comment about how nice the church was and we started talking about Bible things and the sad state of America. She was impressed that I knew scripture( a lot of people touring the church were there to look at the building and didn't really care that it was a church.) We hit it off well and started talking further. Sounds great right? She asked what church I went to and I said The church of Christ. She didn't know what that was. I began to explain the Restoration movement and she called me a Campbellite. I was shocked, I had assumed that she was orthodox, as was the church we were in, but didn't expect that reaction. She called me a heretic and walked away. What do? She was very nice and an actual Christian instead of the pretenders so common these days. Was I in the wrong or was it never destined to be?

I've never had a gf so if I were to go on CM and find a wife I'd probably have that worldly sinful pull to have more notches in my belt. I mean who loses their virginity to their wife. It feels a bit like I'm a failed human being if I do that. Should I try to bed a few females before getting married?

>tfw probably dying alone

>>680244

You just need to BEGOME ORDODOX

>>680173

>Self diagnoses

>making excuses

>Mommy issues

Use only objective statements to describe your situation, it'll help you understand how ridiculous you sound. You're not the only person in the world to have had a bad relationship with their mother. Whore mothers raising bastards is not rare. Your challenge is to understand your mother's shortcomings, understand that all women are capable of such gross negligence, and find a woman that has an upbringing and attitude that is the opposite of your mother's to prevent perpetuating that cycle. Come back to Christ, read the OP, and come back to reality renewed by the truth of things.

>>680244

You messed up, next time just say you're protestant and find Orthodoxy interesting and leave it at that, or just begome. The cathodox are well aware of protestant heterodoxy, in much the same way that most prots don't subscribe to calvinism. Ironically, the Campbells lacked the self awareness to visit Greece before beginning their well intentioned, but ultimately misguided work.

>>680484

>Acknowledging sin nature but still making excuses for it

>falling to peer pressure

>before even having a gf

Come on son, don't post until you at least start working through the OP.

>>680173

First read >>680502

Do not make diagnoses by yourself. Your "gynophobia" is probably just being nervous around girls because you lack a healthy self-esteem. It is essential that you gain healthy confidence. You are the man, you are the one that makes the move. You are the source of motion.

The reason why you're here is to get an advice so here it is. Stop looking for excuses and work on yourself. That's what you should do.

Cut all porn and fapping since it destroys your soul,your body and your self-esteem. This will take you a while, definitely use NoFap thread on Christian.

Start working out. You need to boost the testosterone levels as well as improve your looks and strength to gain confidence. Work on the way you look so you look pleasantly.

Do something about your social skills. Socialize. It will be difficult at first so remember it is about you pushing your comfort zone. It is about you getting out there. Each time you overcome yourself you become stronger.

Read scripture. Perhaps start with psalms and new testament. This will lead you back to Christ. You are unlikely to succeed especially in NoFap unless you gain your faith back. Get over the family issues with faith. It is time you grew up spiritually. Everyone has to grow up himself even if you got the right foundation (good family).

Doing those things will greatly improve your situation if you don't do them you won't improve. If you came here to seek condolences about self-diagnoses to indulge in self-pity you came to the wrong place. Self-pity won't help you. What will help you is you realizing you have your potential at your hands. Life is a struggle so face it instead of running away. It may be a long way to go but you have to take it on your own. Well not exactly since God is your strength but you will find that out for sure.

Good luck.

>>680244

>she called me a heretic and walked away

HA! Get dunked on, anon. No but you should (((begome gadolig))) and then convert her :)

Hey bros, could use some advice. Some background blogpost

I took a long break from relationships (1.5 years, all of that nofap) I'm also a convert and was pretty degenerate with women before, I've slept with 3 women and fooled around with a couple others. I've never had a "real" relationship beyond meaningless hookup culture and playing games with immature women (I was definitely immature too.) Skip ahead to now and I've got a great parish and in many ways a new life, I'm very grateful and have decided to try dating again.

I'm sure what I'm feeling isn't anything new, but it's just very weird getting back out there with a new perspective. I found a couple faithful qt's to talk to and one that I went on a date with already, but they seem to be playing games just like what I experienced before and I am trying to be more serious. I also have a hard time relating to some of the really sheltered types I've met who are probably the closest to wife material around. I think I'm in an awkward place as a convert. What can I do bros? Maybe try online dating? I hate the idea but I'm not very confident that I'll find a traditional qt in person.

Does God give you a wife when you are ready, or just the opportunity to win her heart?

>>682279

This might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1V4w38v2mI&t=21s

You shouldn't give up on the sheltered type. Keep in mind that you're not supposed to even kiss the girl until marriage. I mean not a lot of people do that, but that might explain why some church girls seem to be more shy.

>>682382

Thanks anon, any help is appreciated.

Courting is a foreign concept to me, do I just focus on building friendships with potential partners for now, but with intentions to take things further? I've learned to see that as sending mixed signals and found that showing interest sooner rather than later is better. Should I just explain how retarded I am about this stuff after getting to know someone and try to take things in a more serious direction from there? At least I have more self control now, hopefully I'm not wrong should I find myself in temptation down the line, I'm sure I'll have to face it eventually.

>>682424

>do I just focus on building friendships with potential partners for now, but with intentions to take things further?

I have no idea how this works either mate. I am a 24 yo virgin so I don't have many advice to share. However, one of my best friends told me that the most solid relationship are the ones where you start by being friend with the girl, and I think it makes sense. Sending mixed signals is not cool, but you don't have to do this. I think we should be the ones who know what we want, unlike girls who have no f*cking idea and just follow their emotions. So you can tell to a girl that you like her and would like to see more often to see if you can take things further. I don't think this is very engaging for either of you, and there's no shame in telling her after a while that you're not interested any longer (and she can do the same too). This is how I view things, but again I have close to zero experience so I don't feel very legitimate to give advice here. I just want to discuss the topic I guess!

>>682359

When you are ready, and if it is truly the vocation He has laid out for you from the beginning.

>>682507

I really hope it's the vocation he has laid out for me, but I guess I'll never know until I find out. In the meantime I'll just be my best and trust in Him.

>>682279

I wouldn’t try online, brother. I would just be assertive and direct. Tell her what you’re intentions are, and if you’re not SERIOUSLY considering her as a wife, don’t see her anymore. If you are, then you need ask her soon. Don’t mess around. Don’t be wishy washy. God often gives us the grace of knowing in these matters, especially when we bring it to him in prayer. She will respect your confidence in such a serious matter too which will help her build that critical trust and reliance on you in the early stages of matrimony. For the sake of brevity I will leave it at that. The only other thing I will say is that if she says no, or if she is indecisive (“Oh I don’t know, I’m just at a really crazy point of my life right now and I want to work through some things first and make sure that I’m making the right decision before I make a decision like that”, etc. etc.) then you need to leave. Don’t stay around, don’t hang around like a bad smell. Leave and commit your time, energy, efforts, your spirit to fruitful and noble endeavors.

On a more general note, I was a lost soul, agnostic and hopeless when I met my wife, an immigrant from South America who is and was a godly an innocent woman, who forgave my past and introduced me to the True God and thereby saved my soul. My point is that I had her wrong from the start - I thought she was a “ghetto girl” because of some of the females I saw her hanging out with at our job training where we met. However, she was the furthest thing from that, once I took the time to talk to her. It was hard to tell how different she was because I saw the world through a worldly lense and misjudged her words, actions and mannerisms. Be patient with your potential relationships.

And never desire anything too much. Never with desperation. But work hard for what’s worth working for, and God will be good to you.

>>682279

>Claims to have been a womanizer

>Wonders how even the "faithful qts" "play games"

>Incapable of being down to earth to actual good ones

>desperate enough to try online dating

>not even confident in ability of finding a trad qt

If you talked to the parish thots first, how do you even think its strange that the actual good ones would be weary of you? This reveals to me that you aren't as aligned to God as you claim to be, as you still have the gall to blame the good girls for being cautious and good hearted enough to have personalities requiring aligning with. You should make an appointment for confession and pray to the Lord to humble you.

>>682359

If you have to ask, you aren't ready.

>>682603

"Parish thots" is a bit much, although I think you've got a point regarding the others, I've talked to them but don't see any signs of interest. I'm not blaming anyone though, I literally never dated anyone with an ounce of virtue, so I know I should be the last option for any woman with true virtue. I'll keep praying about it, thank you brother.

>>682382

>four stages of courtship

Right on, I shared that recently on here! Also, kissing is fine, as Father says, AS LONG AS it is not "passionate", meaning it goes on too long or causes arousal. A classy, simple kiss as a sign of affection (I think Father says in the engagement stage or right before the engagement stage) is fine.

>>682559

Father Ripperger has some more solid advice.

>how do I know if I am not meant to be a priest?

Simple, do you want to say Mass? Do you want to anoint the sick? Do you want to be a spiritual director? Do you want to do things priests do? They're actually very busy. If you say yes to only 1 or 2 of these, you are not meant to be a priest. You should say yes to most (there are others I can't remember, I think this is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rghH7q7Ury0)

>>682279

First: 1.5 years nofap streak shows strength of character. Second:Coming to that from degenerate lifestyle is even a greater effort. However I get the feeling you viewing yourself as "convert" is part of you considering yourself to be still a degenerate you once were. I know the feeling because I was much less degenerate but from time to time I get the feeling I do not even deserve nice Christian wife.

If your conversion was sincere (You did it because you believe not because muh women), do not talk about yourself as of "convert.

If you want to find a wife of virtue, build yourself to the highest level of virtue you're able to. Sure, you won't erase the past but the future is now. I think you should work on the depth of your faith to get off this "I am a cliff convert" feeling (Considering you are a sincere convert). Get to scripture reading, mass attendance to get to know the faith more.

Concerning the girls…I wouldn't seek online if I were you. Maybe the problem is you just force it too much with the "shelter" ones so they reject your vibe. So be natural. Also "playing games" might be a red flag and it might not be. Perhaps the answer is in getting to know the girl more.

There are times when I concentrate on "fishing for girls" - that is when I look everywhere for the right one while not working on myself. Those are the times I am unhappy. I make no progress in getting better and usually I see very few suitable ones. Then there are times when I concentrate on working on myself and on top of that socialize…and the girl just appears out of nowhere and you just ask her out. There's more to self-improvement than I used to think.

>>678637

>That's an unexpected interpretation. Thank you!

Would you cast aside a brother because he strayed from the path? Have not all of our ancestors been Christians for at least a thousand years?

You cannot take this definition narrowly, a cultural Christian is your confused brother/sister, always treat him/her as such.

>>682857

>viewing yourself as "convert" is part of you considering yourself to be still a degenerate you once were.

This is accurate, I've had a difficult time explaining this to people before. I am sure that I believe, but after reading some of these responses I think I need to talk to my priest about this "cliff convert" thing and address it asap. Obviously my former views on relationships do not fit in with how I want to lead my life from here on and I need to forget them. Instead of looking into the details so much, I think I'll take your advice and focus on self improvement and knock out this weird insecurity. Thanks for your help.

>>683027

Resist the thot my brother. There are other women out there, do not ruin your life because of her.

>>683027

You need to let go of her. Period. That you are still stuck in denial is apparent. Why you are questioning anyone's faith (especially 3 yrs later) is a major red flag. So, consider TRULY LETTING HER GO. And Pray. Obsessing over her won't allow you to heal.

>>683027

What the hell? The fact she had ANOTHER MAN while she was with you tells you what kind of woman she is. I understand your attachment because that is five years of your life with someone who is not who you thought she was. If anything the fact she had other men and that you guys officially broke it off because her heart has been elsewhere should be all the closure you need. You are trying to hold on to the memory of her. Who you thought she was, maybe even who she really was for a while before she wasn't. When was that, exactly? When she wasn't? Why did she say such a bitter remark: "You'll never find someone like me"? Why did she have to become that? Why couldn't we have been happy still? It does not matter now. The fruits of that change, the last change you wanted to happen on Earth, happened. Your mind, heart, and soul's refusal to accept this is why you are even thinking of getting back with her and having the nightmares. You are holding out for the possibility that maybe it was something you did? Maybe if you give it a chance it will fall into place and she'll be who you thought she was again, who you want her to be. Who you remember. But this is not so. She has made her decisions about you and what you must accept now is how someone who you once saw as beauty itself could ruin that beauty and pity her. Another almost-good girl corrupted by the world. Heart-rending. This process is one of the most grueling, but it is also one of the ones that makes you a man unlike any other. I have had similar ones and I look back on them, having thoroughly conquered them (without having become bitter and cynical, less of the creature God made me to be) and I look back at them as one of the worst things I've had to go through, and ones that transformed me for the better more than almost any other. Let go and move on. This is the right choice. To date her again would be to buy a lie. I'd rather have an alright reality over a beautiful lie, especially if that reality awakens into true beauty down the line. Where the lie would only lead to deeper and deeper delusion and with it, diminishing returns on an already fake, hollow happiness.

>>682874

You're welcome. Well you'll never forget them for better or for worse. First it is a source of you being humble, second it is a source for you to realize you need to keep yourself clean. But your repentance means your sins are forgiven.I mean…you have two choices Either make this all into putting yourself down or take this experience and turn it into building yourself up.

Talking to priest about your feelings of being "unworthy of being called christian, worthy of just being called a convert" is a very good idea.

Good luck anon.

>>683027

She sounds like a bad deal. You probably should not pursue her you will find a better girl that won't cheat on you.

>>683177

Don't mention it! I am glad it found you well. Yeah, I read your post and memories came flooding back haha. Yes exactly, do not be ashamed! There may be pangs of pain in your memory of her but as you said just let it come and go. Just feel the feeling. It will pass. When you break an arm and you fix it, it still hurts for a while. You don't overthink it or go crazy about it, you just deal with it and let it pass by trying not to think about it. You just let the waves of pain come amd go until they're gone and the arm is back to 100%. God bless you brother. This just means your wife will be even better and will be the real true deal (if God intends for you to marry which He seems to)! There is much you can glean from this experience. So much. It begins with preparing you for your true wife and ends with preparing you for Our Lord. I am glad it meant something to you, thanks for the pat on the back! Will be praying. Please pray for me so I at least remember to pray for those I've said I would. God bless you brother.

>>683777

>777 trips

Brother, make her a Christian, that's what God has decreed upon you

>>683792

It would be pretty difficult. I don't know where to start. She's pretty deep in degeneracy too, not that I'm a good person either. But she has potential to be good and I want her to be saved. I don't think she'll listen to anything I'd have to say about the subject. It just wouldn't be a good relationship.

>>675558

Have a conversation face to face with her about how you feel. Ask her to wait until marriage. Pray the rosary with her. Ask God to guide you and her.

>>675558

>my sexual control is completely mutilated and I can't stop myself doing this one harmful act

>posts anime

I think I found your problem.

>>684239

I think im more of a pervert than her tbh, which is why I don't trust myself because I know she's really into me. I've done well at suppressing inappropriate thoughts and behaviour until she got in the picture. I don't blame her, only myself.

>>684310

Thank you. This book is very helpful

How do I know if I'm supposed to marry or not? I doubt this is what I should be focusing on, but it's pressing on me.

These responsibilities are wasteful. You are spending the time god gave you on this Earth not doing things so your abusers can do them. You are the victims of fraud and theft.

>>684581

Does your penis want to be inside a vagina, and you desire to do bad things with your hand? You're meant to marry.

How do I put my IG name in christian mingle without it getting rejected all the time? These moneygrabbers expect my poorfag self to payto meet christian qts and christbros

Great video from a VERY unexpected source. A comedian! Just wait until about halfway, he gets real and the normie hack radio hosts can't handle it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqm3n4j1NZ8

I'm pretty sure Norm has some kind of religious belief, but he's extremely private about it like he is everything. I know he believes in God, don't know "how far" he takes it.

>>687712

Norm is our guy on many different levels

He's kind of like if one of our guys just spoke his mind as people found it funny, so he just kept doing it

>>687562

Make it your christian mingle handle. Alternatively, have your full name on your ig and goybook profiles to make it easier for them (and their families) to stalk you and make sure you aren't a weirdo. My fiancee's family literally ran a background check for crime and political affiliation to make sure I lived up to my profile, expect it if you also meet a good one.

>>688064

I haven't paid for it, how do I change my handle?

I don't use facebook.

>>688196

>I don't use faceberg

>uses ig

I don't know, I haven't used it in a year plus now. You may just have to remake it. You can still have your ig profile found if you include your full name in both cm and ig/whatever else. Up to you, I'll be praying anyways.

>>687712

Based norm

>>688453

Of course. That is a part of the rebuilding. A meta part, if you will. Squelch the doubt by ignoring it.

>>688453

Are you me?

>move to new city

>go to TLM

>qt goes with her family every week

>go back home for a month

>come back here, haven't seen her at TLM since

Furk

>>688884

nice coincidence, it sucks though. The next time I see the girl I will take the chances no matter what.

I have been in long and short-term relationships before.

Ever since my last relationship which lasted 4 years and single-handedly destroyed my life, I haven't been able to have a relationship, only committed fornication a few times… (I regret it)

I switched from being super popular with the girls back when I was a teen to being a complete recluse, unable to even sit on the bus next to a girl.

I'm so terrified I can't speak to them after what happened during that long term relationship I had. I've only spoken to my old female friends (which also led me to commit fornication a few times and kinda made my phobia even worse).

I feel like I could never love again and get married. I don't even want to have sex anymore and I'm trying to quit porn and masturbation.

I don't want my abstinence to be because of trauma though… I really want to turn this situation and do it for God, to keep myself from sinning and get me closer to salvation. And I've been strongly considering monastic life for a long time now…

Any advice on my situation whatsoever please? It's a pretty big emotional struggle that kind of affects my faith.

>>672299

>blaming the father for the sins of the child

>>689897

wait i'm rarted

>blaming the child for the sins of the fathers

>>689872

I am pretty curious to know what happened in said relationship that hurt you so bad but that is completely a personal thing so it is not my position to pry. I cannot speak to being popular girls or how to regain that but I would say look at your diet and exercising habits for starters. Exercising helps clear the mind and gives you that readjustment men desperately need and certain foods can really mess with you. If you can figure out what causes you to masturbate or view porn(like specific times, days, too much free time, unwinding from work, certain thoughts/images) then trying to work around those might be yet another option for you to improve. It has helped with me but you aren't me so I am only going from my own life experiences brother.

Stay strong and keep on fighting.

>>672299

The situation is not as bad as it sounds. It is at least somewhat understandable to give into the belief that abortion is okay under rape. I am not saying it is, it is certainly not okay, but at least she doesn't have the typical pro-thot excuse where it's just to women and men don't have to worry about how much they're throwing their bodies around. Just explain to her calmly why you feel it is wrong. How, as difficult and unfair of a situation as that is for a woman to be put in, the child did not choose that and it needs to be stood up for in society. It is such a grave thing that we can not even let that go to choice. Just speak with conviction and you might be surprised if she changes her mind. Just DO IT CHARITABLY. The great sins of trad types are malice and that smug aura of superiority. Avoid that at all costs, it's why everyone hates us lol.

>girls would rather have sex with me than marry me

What is this? What kind of world are we in, men?

>>689872

>>689912

He was probably cuckholded. As in, he walked in on his girlfriend having sex with some other guy and they didn't stop even with him there. The other guy probably taunted him and his girlfriend submitted and joined in.

Basically, he got castrated right then and there.

>>690135

They're r-selected. Start moving in better circles.

Every woman I have encountered seems to place great importance in social media. I can get a phone number or go on a date, but these women think I look bad in pictures (which is actually true, no idea why it's such a difference) after wich they tend to slowly disappear. They often reappear when it turns out they can't get a 10/10 stud, but I have a decent amount of self respect.

Apart from that, there's VERY few christians under the age of 70 out here. I attend mass at a few locations and have only seen one girl who was about my age.

I'm a teacher and people keep asking me why I don't have a family yet, as the kids look up to me and their parents adore me.

Any other tips on where to encounter fellow christians? I already do work in our parish and there's no such thing as Bible study groups close to me

>>670973

Are these sites international or mostly just americans? I'm brazilian, btw

>>670973

What does it mean to love myself?

>>690245

Are you going out with 16 year olds?

>>690695

I wish. I'm 25 and feel like most women behave like children.

>>690889

I'm in my 30s and this still rings true sadly.

>>670973

I'd like to point out that christiandatingforfree.com does allow for free non-joining searches, but you can only access so many profiles until it starts nagging you to join.

>>691878

Have you at least stopped watching porn? I thinks it helps to deal with the masturbation issues. I'm not completely out of it yet though, and just know that you're not the only one experiencing anger/lust like this. I would say the best thing to do is to pray and ask God to free your mind. If that doesn't work, just pray harder. And remember

>you can't pray and fap at the same time

>>690142

Do you realize how retarded you sound?

>>691878

How do I deal with lust? Work is a good way to deal with the energy of frustration, but I've also found that eating well helps as well. You don't need to spend a lot of money, just start removing artificial foods from your diet and put in more vegetables and fruits as substitutes. Drink water over stimulants, or at least drink tea as opposed to colas. I found a very strict Lenten diet worked wonders, I went from a similar inflated drive to a healthy tempo over the course of a few months. I can't say it will work for everyone but I think removing additional sources of hormones with unknown effects can't hurt. Making your own stews and soups is pretty cheap as well, and with crock pots or simmering temperatures only requires prep-time for the most part.

Also cut off porn, which you should do anyway, but it's counteractive to your goals. Listen to calming noises, either go outside if in a natural area or use whatever nature-related audio sources online that are calming.

That said, if you do find someone who you could go after that would ultimately be the best result. You say that you are not financially well off, but you may never reach a safe-and-stable middle class position. Think of marriage as a force multiplier in this regard if both parties are not insane. Also, a potential partner may not be in a dire position financially and that may make the relationship option less unappealing; you may still want to be the breadwinner, but you have more leeway to organize a good position while persuing your courting goals.

I met a cute girl at my church a few weeks ago. Every time I tried to make plans to go someplace with her, work got in the way. Last sunday, we were supposed to go get dinner together but she said she was called into work and she couldn't. I didn't think much of it, but now she isn't responding to my texts.

Anyone have any idea what could have happened? Do you think she's mad at me and thinks I was just leading her on?

>>692177

Man, been there. Sounds like the classic "shes too nice to reject you outright but keeps using work as an excuse" and now that she isnt responding to texts means you didnt get the hint. Protip: if a woman wants to see you, even if she has work, she'll offer a different day or will be open and responsive if you do

Anti slide bump

>>692177

I've always went by the rule that if she declines or make an excuse the first time, the ball is then in her court to suggest a better time.

>>692177

Sorry to say, but it sounds like >>692264 is right. At the very least, she sounds rude and disinterested. I'd suggest you not waste another second of your time on her and look elsewhere.

>>692799

>Sounds to me like she doesn't want to see you anymore, or she's playing hard to get

>Could even be both, women are really weird in all this

That's true… I can't read women worth a damn. I've had a few girls who were apparently interested in me in the past, but I didn't realize it until other girls pointed it out to me and it was too late by then.

There's this one girl I met at church two months ago who confuses the hell out of me. We're pretty good friends, but I can't tell if she's interested in me or not because I'm autistic when it comes to women.

>We have a lot in common

>We've stayed up late at night talking about a variety of things (last night she suggested I watch Passion of the Christ, praised Mel Gibson as "living art", and chose to watch that film along with me)

>Uses rosy cheek emojis a lot and acts sweet in general

>She seems very open to the two of us hanging out outside of church or Christian events (I'm too much of a pussy to make plans though)

On the other hand, she's pretty shy and quiet towards me in person, and she's also a few years older than me (which perhaps makes her feel she's too old for me), so I don't know what to think.

Unfortunately, she's moving out-of-state next year to a Bible college, which means I'd probably just want to remain friends with her. I've prayed for God to give me a clear sign that she is interested in me, but I have yet to receive one.

>>692824

No women is worth your time

>>692824

The one thing I learned from girls in my short almost 1/4th century life, is that if she starts taking initiative to see and talk to you she's either interested or having issues.

The last one is very prevalent in e.g. the 'geek' scene or other subcultures where girls just want bloody attention.

>>693014

>No women is worth your time

>Mfw cold hard truth

>>691878

If porn is the issue, set up a parental block on your computer and throw away the password.

I did that and put a stern-looking icon of Christ as my phone background, and it actually worked fairly well.

It's difficult though, you're not alone. I have the willpower to never jack off anymore (only times I slip up are when I've been drinking) but the lust never goes away. I feel like a caveman.

If you fail, remember the guilt and let it keep you straight in the future. My biggest motivation so far has been the shame I felt after waking up after a night out and realizing I'd caved.

LDRs good or bad? We're talking different (but neighbouring) countries here

>>693050

Yeah, she's got her fair share of baggage. I was willing to look past her obesity, tattoos, past of drug abuse and sexual promiscuity, anger issues (she's sweet to me, but admits to blowing up on people sometimes), etc., but no longer. I'm just going to bide my time and wait until a debt-free virgin without tattoos comes along.

>>693280

Not recommended unless you don't mind all the negatives and few positives. Also I hope you have a frugal means of transport if you do hit it off.

>>693623

>All those red flags

You can do better anon. Don't ask for something you yourself haven't attained though.

>>693786

Yeah, you're right. I am young, tall, thin, debt-free, a virgin, and without tattoos myself, so I'm sure I'll find myself a good Christian woman in due time.

>>693280

It's worth it, but it's not easy at all. Part of it is finding the right person. My fiance said that she wouldn't have done this if she knew how hard it would be, but she's thankful to God every day that we met. We never gave up, and we'll be married soon.

All I can say is try it and see. Be patient and discerning.

>>693066

>parental block

Well it's a nice idea but I don't think it is necessary.

Eventually you still need to quit fapping. Purging porn is a part of that. Christ heals your heart and strengthens your will through prayer, confession and sacraments.I did not need any block, just prayer, sacraments, icons around the house..also wallpaper was useful.

I just wanted to point out that getting a parental block is not enough. There are guys who get the block and that's all they do…..obviously they eventually fail at nofap

Well I messaged a few girls on Catholicmatch and got 0 replies. Guess it's time to sudoku.

>>696550

internet dating sucks. women receive a lot of messages and it's very difficult to convey who you really are on the web

>>696550

If you're doing it in the West, you're for sure not going to catch anything.

>>696550

Go to church yourself, shower, shave, and have a conversation topic ready.

>>697061

Just take a shower bro

Just talk to her bro

I love my brothers in Christ but most of you are crazy clueless about how women pick partners and how men get women to like them. It's 80% looks minimum, even for trad girls. You may get away with slightly more than normal with you both being trad Christians, but female nature cannot be overcome that simply. Original Sin ruined us all, and that includes the way women select mates. Female selection is based of off primary looks, with slight influence from Dark Triad traits.

>>696550 is probably just ugly or short. Maybe autistic. Internet dating is a great indicator of sexual attraction, and it's clear that he is not. We should be encouraging him to increase his looks scale (lose weight, get plastic surgery, etc.), instead of giving reddit-tier worthless platitudes.

>>697605

If anyone is sounding autistic here, it's you, lad. Pretty sure that advice was given under the good-faith assumption that the recipient already knows better. But your advice in fact is absolutely terrible, if you are not in fact a troll. Plastic surgery? Are you high?

If we're going to get autistic about this, the advice on this page is much more grounded in reality:

>There is no universal female measure of what makes a man attractive. Some women are more attracted to one attribute over the other, just as men are attracted to different women in varying degrees. Each woman has her own set of preferences, so there is no single standard. As a mental exercise, one can view these as a point system, where a man has a certain value from 1 through 10 in each LAMPS subcategory. Then they are added together some sort of weighted average is applied. Theoretically, as long as you have enough in certain areas, it can make up for deficiencies in others. However, based on personal observations, anecdotes and the vast amount of empirical research provided by the PUA community, it is clear that certain attributes/subcategories tend to be more important than others for most women. In general the (not universal) order of importance:

>1) Power- Clearly the most important set of attributes, well above the others. Charisma is king.

>2) Status- Also extremely important, plays a significant role in interacting with female hypergamy.

>3) Athleticism- Of middling importance, perhaps because resources are plentiful, but still something which women like in men.

>4) Looks- With the exception of height, this set of attributes provides little bang for your buck; it might get you initial attention but won’t keep it for you.

>5) Money- Great wealth is required for this attribute to be meaningful, likely a product of a resource-rich culture where women can easily provide for themselves.

>Unfortunately, there is no easy way to measure values for the LAMPS attributes. Whereas it is relatively easy to discern a woman’s Sexual Market Value, the same cannot be said for men, in large part because most of these attributes are extremely subjective.

Each category is given a more detailed definition on the page itself:

https://donalgraeme.wordpress.com/what-do-women-find-attractive-in-men/

>>697605

>trad girls

No such thing.

>>697639

I am not a troll. I'm a 23 y/o extremely conservative and traditional/devout Lutheran (LCMS) Incel.

Plastic surgery is a great way to increase male sexual dimorphism and remove other unaesthetic flaws. For example, within the next 6 months, I will be getting neck liposuction, buccal fat removal, and a couple moles removed. I have also considered double jaw surgery have been saving up for it. I may bite one day. Enough about me though.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPillScience/comments/88php9/physical_attractiveness_is_the_strongest/

Reddit normally a cancerous place, but this forum has a good collection of evidence proving looks is #1. The link above is to the stickied top post. The place is a goldmine proving my exact point: women of all races, creeds, and countries prefer tall, dimorphic, good looking men. Men who are short and unattractive stand no chance in our skewed sexual market. Even church girls and other trad girls fall victim to the modern feminist poison and things such as Tinder and the like. Can you blame them? It gives them infinite power over men an allows them to live like royalty just for being born without a Y chromosome.

Refer to the above as a counterargument for the liberal garbage from the OP. Female preference is a meme. I have linked to you a collection of studies which show that women essentially only date top 20% men, even in the church. The PUA community is a joke. These people are coping incels just like me. Women can't be manipulated into being liked, good looks is a requirement.

It's really sad that you haven't seen this yet, especially if you are like me and >>696550 who are trying to find our perfect Christthot to save us from our loneliness. If you have already gotten married, then I suppose I can't blame you for being bluepilled… you haven't seen the harsh realtiy which technology, leftism, and feminism have done to our sexual market and our dating world.

>>697663

They exist in the same way people with 3 arms do. Do they exist? Sure. But they exist in such small numbers that it is fair to say they don't exist. Don't remind me though, it makes me want to rope. feelsbadman

>>697669

Liposuction, perhaps, anything that lies about your genetic fitness >>> no.

Hello.

What are the most important things a wife can do for you? Also, what would you like as birthday/Christmas gifts from your wife if she doesn't work?

>>697669

Why does God allow this to happen? The other 80% of men didnt do anything wrong by being born with their genetics and yet they have to suffer.

Ever since Eve women have been the ultimate meme and a pain in everyone's ass, even Chad. But God knew this as he was making Eve. I just dont know anymore lads.

>>697679

>what would you like as birthday/Christmas gifts from your wife if she doesn't work?

Homemade gifts, like knitted sweaters or a clay mug. Give her the means to make these, of course.

>What are the most important things a wife can do for you?

Living a Christ-centered life, which includes staying at home to raise your children rather than being a career woman who dumps her children on others.

Speaking of which, I made a POF account yesterday, and my was I disappointed with the selection of women… 80% are non-religious, and maybe 95% of the Christian women on there are college students who want to be career women (these are 18-21 y.o. women btw). At least I saw a few women who simply wanted to start a family… granted, they were either homely or obese, but that's fine by me.

>>697679

Children.

>>697707

Got a purple pilled friend I'm trying to convince to not be such a gay. He's had limited success locally, but complains that the majority of girls are asians or arabs looking for a marriage visa. It doesn't help that he's a tall chad but the most insecure wimp who's fallen victim to the electric jew.

>>697711

>asian

>looking for marriage visa

I guess that depends what kind of Asian. Didn't really see that much in my searches before I found my wife.

>>697687

>>697711

The children thing just seems so easy compared to man being a wageslave…I feel like it's not a fair trade. It's something women enjoy. It brings guilt.

Second mass date with a girl I'm interested in. Wish me luck lads.

Any tips on opening up conversation to relationships?

>>697739

How traditional are her and her family? Maybe ask her dad first…but if this date goes well I would say tell her you really enjoy dates with her and would like go on them regularly and see how she responds to that. If she agrees, ask if she would like to be exclusive. Tell her you like her enough to not go on dates with other girls and you woulld be willing.

>>697752

messed up

I am actually >>697669 not >>697639

If I was to describe my situation: Endless thirst among gallons of water around, still unable to find the right bottle.

It almost seems like there's no end to it.

I wished I had a cute catholic virgin Japanese waifu. But the jews try everything to stop that. I hate them so much. Hold me /christian/

>>697734

If you're home, and not working, and you refuse to breed with your husband: Why didn't he just hire a maid? Why do you think he married you? Instead of trying to worm your way out of it, resolve to put your all into raising those children that he married you to have.

>>697908

If you're white it shouldn't be too difficult to find a Japanese wife.

>>698032

>but I've been thinking about your daughter constantly for 3 days straight and frequently afterwards

Try again. That's creepy. Instead it should go like this:

Go up to the mother with a greeting, and go into small talk about her visiting the chapel with her daughter. Then ask if the daughter is seeing anyone. If not, ask if she could set you up with her on a date (somewhere where she and you can talk comfortably, e.g. a park). If all goes well, give your number.

If any of these steps fail, at the least you are in a conversation which you can back off of gracefully, rather than suddenly.

Feel free to go on tangents in conversation, rather than going straight to the point, such that you give off a good impression.

You need to impress the mother here, so impressions really count.

God have mercy on you, and good luck.

>>698022

I didn't say anything about refusing to have children. I just said that is an easy thing compared to being a wageslave. I've done both. What more can a wife do?

>>698042

I'm going to say something in the lines of, lot literally what I typed.

Don't worry about that.

Also, your approach is way too…I don't know how to put it but that wouldn't work in this country.

This is not a land of diplomats, it's a land of beat-around-the-bushers where being direct works best.

>God have mercy on you, and good luck.

Thanks man, appreciate it.

>>698045

>Its easy

>Its what my husband wants

>Make a pity party to avoid having more

>Ask a question as though the answer wasn't given

If being a mother that easy, continue to have children until you can't since its what your husband wants. You can live with one less vacation or fancy trinket in your life if it means more Christians for the next generation.

>>698369

Never made a pity party to having more either. All I was trying to say was it makes me feel guilty that when my husband comes home from 10 hour work day, sometimes 12 I can tell he's exhausted and even when he doesn't talk about it I know it's stressful.

Where I've just been home all day playing with kids and holding and loving on our baby.Even cleaning is relatively easy. It's work but no where near as draining as an actual job. I just was asking what are other nice things I can do to make his life easier.

How do you deal with flaking? I have no problem attracting or talking to girls but when it comes time for the actual date most of them cancel at the last minute or say they're booked for the next two weeks or something dumb to avoid meeting up.

Am I doing something wrong?

>>698538

Maybe the kind of girls you're trying to get?

Definitely do NOT give them any more attention after them canceling last-minute.

>>698538

It happens, learn to not take the faults of others as weakness on your part. If it becomes a trend, take some time off and focus on yourself and approaching Jesus.

>>698538

That is how nearly all women are nowadays. It isn't you, it is them, or more particularly the shit society that exists

>>698538

Find a girl that aggressively wants to be around you. She might be shy in public around you, but she'll still want to be around you. If you're on a dating website, let the girl pick you.

I think it's a waste of a man's time to pursue a girl. You're constantly wasting effort trying to woo her when she's not interested. It's stupid. Find someone that's attracted to you from the beginning, and then keep them interested.

>>698828

And if you're on a dating website, I don't mean just make a profile and do nothing. If you're on a website that tells its users when someone has viewed their profile, then that's how you show interest.

View the profiles of girls, but don't put much effort into talking to them unless they show interest first. Them contacting you first is not a sign of desperation, unless it's obvious that something is flawed about them from the beginning.

I'm just speaking from experience here. The best chance at a relationship from a dating website is when the girl contacts you and wants to move things further. A lot of it depends on what you put in your profile: your pictures, your hobbies, and your purpose for being on the website.

I was very honest about my purpose. I was there to find a wife. I also spoke about how women focus too much on the wedding day and not enough on the rest of their lives being married. That attracted the girls that were serious, and the sluts avoided me.

>>698385

How do I meet a woman just like you?

>>698037

Teach me senpai

>>698961

Luck.

>>697679

Only seeing this post now, I'll give my two cents.

You're home, you got to clean, manage the garden, the kids etc.

It's work on its own, but yeah not a wageslave job and you got spare time.

I do not have a wife yetplease pray for me ;-; but I can already imagine what would really grind my gears.

>What are the most important things a wife can do for you?

First, to be blunt; have sex.

Seriously, nothing worse than being frustrated after a long day's work.

A kind of linked to the first one but take care of yourself too.

Work out (whatever, just do some physical activity besides housekeeping), look well kept and do something fun for yourself once in a while (a happy wife is important too).

Second, and probably as important as the first one; learn to cook.

Heck I'd rather have only 3x/week sex and good food than shitty food and 3x/day sex.

This goes so far that I'm considering becoming the houseman and my future wife a wageslave because the women in this country can't cook for shite.

Learn the very basics, take cooking classes if you're bad at it.

After you know the basics you can watch cooking shows without them screwing you over with bullshit cooking (believe me lots of stuff done wrong on lots of shows).

You do not need to know how to make souffle, but being able to make simple, traditional dishes isn't a lot to ask.

Personal goal would be: 5 different pasta dishes, 3 fish dishes, 3 meat dishes and 5 veggie dishes.

Oh and learn how to bake your own bread, home-baked bread is amazing (and don't go cheating by buying some pre-made bread mix).

It's very easy you just need the time for it.

A third one, but that's only if you got the head for it, become good at finances.

A woman capable of doing all the domicile administration would be an immense help.

>>697707

Mostly Protestants and girls living on the other side of the world.

>>700630

Is she cute though?

>>670973

Hello /christian/. I am 17 years old and my girlfriend is 14. I've been dating her for one month and and we really love eachother. When i see her, we usually french kiss, and i've done impure things to her. We didn't fornicate or did oral sex, but i fear we may get there in the near future. She believes in God but i don't think she's a christian, but i have plans to preach the gospel to her in the right time. I think we may get married somewhere down the line, if our union is stable when we're older. Any advice?

>>700692

Yes.

>>700692

>>700781

^me

Yes and I'm going to go up to her and tell her I'm really dumb and probably the dumbest person she'll ever meet because I am. I am dumb acidemically, with people and with money.

>>700770

What the hell man. If you're not larping, seek help right now. Where are you from? Also you sound like you suffer from paranoia.

Good luck bro.

>>700782

What's your problem anon? I know you're not being serious but what makes you say such things anyway?

Accept yourself as you are and ask God for help if you think you deserve it. If you don't, make the work necessary so that you see yourself as worthy of God's benevolence.

>>700787

That was me. I am really scared of talking to her. I keep self sabotaging. I'm just so paranoid of her thinking I'm a creep. I have social anxiety too so I literally tremble when I spoke to her once due to us being put in a group.

I'm so pathetic that I'm considering writing her a note just explaining my social awkwardness. But last time I did that ended up being bullied by her and her friends (sixth form. She had a bf though while this one doesn't I don't think). And tell her I'm Catholic.

>>701235

A competent man, through growing physically, mentally, and spiritually, is a confident man. Women are primarily attracted to confidence. Women won't care what denomination you are, they are more willing to convert to you. Don't seek a virgin if you aren't one. Self pity isn't useful for any of the above, so stop it.

>>700703

Matthew 5:29-30

29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to depart into hell.

If, down the line, your relationship causes you to sin, break it off. I'm struggling with somewhat of the same situation, although I'm quite a bit older. It's not easy, I know.

Also, I hope it works out, but at 17 and especially at 14 you're still kids. So please don't do anything stupid and fall for the excuse that "it's alright to be intimate because I'm gonna marry her in the future"-excuse.

>>701262

>Don't seek a virgin if you aren't one

Did you not read his post?

>I have had no previous success in dating

>>701229

Listen man, if you're scared to even talk to her, asking her out out of the blue might not be your best option. Why don't you try to befriend her at first, and leave the door open for a relationship in the future if it turns out she likes you? I know it's easier said than done, but you really need to stop giving a damn about being awkward. Being self-conscious about it will only make things worse. Just practice talking to women for now, and don't put them on a pedestal. No matter how perfect they look, they are NOT. And don't tell her you're socially awkward, she already knows it, and even if she doesn't, telling her won't make her accept it just like that.

>>701568

>I haven't made a friend since age 14

There's your real problem tbqh. You should try to make friends, a wife will come long after that. Making friends will help you meet more girls anyway. And remember women care about status, so I don't think you can attract a qt if you're a friendless loser. I know it sounds harsh but I think it's true.

>tfw volcel

Still wish you guys luck though. Raise your kids right, and you will have a truely great and Christian inharitence.

>>702265

>>701539

You don't trust women and you're territorial, that's natural. But jealousy is always rooted in a lack of self esteem manifested as guilty projection on the part of the perpetrator. Either you're not being on the level and your eyes are wandering or for whatever reason you think you're faking it and that she'll find out. In any case, fear isn't of the Lord, pray, read scripture, confess, and He will show you the way.

>>701568

>I don't know what God wants me to do

>Making excuses for ineptitude

>Having standards for others when you don't have any for yourself

>I don't this, I don't that, I don't this, I don't that, I don't this, I don't that

Have you tried reading the bible? The OP perhaps?

>>702265

>"volcel"

Don't brag about being incompetent by masking it with ego. Even if you're clergy, if you have nothing to add or inquire, don't post.

What do women look for in a man

>>702544

winnie the pooh no redtext wtf

>>702544

…Elliot?

>>702265

>volcel

iktf. 'til marriage, anywho

>>701759

>women care about status

>friends show this

Wait lol really? I have tons of circles, thats good to know.

>tfw high T chad and you didnt even know it

>>702544

t. has never charmed a woman with confidence to save his life

>>703167 I am >>702544

You're totally right… I've never done that. That's because "charm" and "confidence" are ideas promoted by women to justify their hypergamy and looks-based valuation of men. I myself am not a good looking man, so my "charm" (AKA my looks) does not work on them.The good looking flirty guy who's touchy is confident and charming, the ugly flirty guy touches a woman and he spends the night in the county jail for a misdemeanor.

I see this bullshit all over the webs, and I'm on a crusade to end this manosphere, red-pill, TRP cancer. Women, even Christian one,s want good looking men. There's another younger guy at my church who has a beautiful non-thot wife. He's 6'2" with a defined face, full hair, hunter's eyes, and clean/straight teeth. Everyone would call him "charming" and "confident", but in reality they are just falling guilty to the halo effect. They just think he is subconsciously because he is tall and good-looking. That's how the brain works.

Tfw you meet several good girls in few past days…just the type of girls you'd ask out and you know you'lll get the chance to ask them out.

Feels good. Tbh this is exactly the whitepill I needed right now. I was in the "why have you forsaken me" state of mind.

One strange thing happened to me in the despair. I attended the mass, my thoughts gone off to my problems, absolutely devasted. But all of sudden I had the feeling Jesus sitting next to me, patting me on my shoulder. Obviously I did not see him but I literally felt His presence. It was a strong feeling.

>>703520

how did you meet girls?

>Obviously I did not see him but I literally felt His presence. It was a strong feeling.

Not really related, but be careful… this is blasphemous, at least according to the Lutheran Doctrine (the right one, fite me papists). Christ had presence on earth, 2000 years ago. He is not on earth anymore, he is at the Right Hand. He is not making contact with you. God has already reveled himself to you, in our flesh, through His Son, not through a "feeling". Ward off all Gnostic thoughts like this.

>>703524

I'm a 4 so I've got a long hill to go up. Pray 4 me.

>>702544

You are hopeless. I have almost none of these qualities, and I’ve managed to charm women before. Here’s a hint, they only care about the things mentioned if you have zero confidence, in which case they are using you. Try to tell a girl a good joke she’ll like or ask how her day was with a smile (and listen) and watch how fast she’ll smile back.

>>703634 I am >>702544

How old are you? My advice is mainly geared towards people 25/30 and under, given that they have grown up in the tinder generation. If you're some old boomer clown, I don;t expect you to understand. Even worse, you could be MGTOW or TRP. My advice to you is that if you're ugly and succeeding, you're either old, rich, someone very important, or you're getting cucked and she's not faithful.

I used to be a small minded clown like you (especially back in early college) and think "if I'm nice, charming, and confident, I'll find a wife… women love men who are confident and have their lives together"… but then I turned 23 never having even one girlfriend. I got a full time job that pays well, I'm "khanfident", I attend church every Sunday, I have my life completely together. Why am I here? I'm ugly. You don;t think I've ever tried to talk to women? I've tried being nice, funny, charming, etc. The best response I get is when they ignore me… it's better than when they laugh or look at me with disgust.

Preface to the paragraph below… this generally, or at least to the extremity of the Pareto Principle, only applies to men and women under 25/30:

Women these days are not chastised for being sluts and having extramarital sex and this combats with their natural biological indicative to sleep with only the highest value male. What this has done is allowed women to create a binary caste system for men… those who are attractive (genetically) to have sex, which in America is about the top 20% of men… and then those who are not genetically attractive enough, the bottom 80%, like me. You could counter with saying that "normal people get laid" or whatever redpill/IT-tier argument you want, but you should be aware that these people "having sex" are either betabuxing (buying the women's love, and she's not faithful), or total cucks, meaning that they are not traditional, let the wife run the house, and they still aren't faithful. The point I'm trying to make is: 'you need to be 20% male in 2018 to have a chance at a faithful wife. I am not this, so my chances are extremely slim. That's why I recommended surgery in my post. It's the only way to achieve top 20% without genetics.

Get woke dude. Leftism and Non-Christian movements have destroyed women in the west. Back 40/50 years ago, you're advice had alot of truth, because women needed men and were not allowed to be whores, but it is no longer truth these days.

Pray for me.

>>703574

I thought Lutherans believed in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, just not transubstatiation.

>>703841

We do, but the incident described by >>703520 is not within that context. We believe in real presence such as it is the real Body and real Blood (much justified by the Word), but I am unsure exactly any more than that.

Anyways, that is a gnostic post anyways you look at it and should be questioned.

>>703817

I’m about to be 19 to answer your question. I think the problem here is the women you’re dealing with. Like how a lot of guys want to screw a big breasted hot woman, women also behave the same way. And don’t worry about looks anon, I know some fellas who aren’t so good on the looks, but basically screw a lot of women. I’m not advising you to do the same thing as a Christian, but you get my point. Try to look for women who actually will give you the time of the day. Build confidence not just to be charming, but so you can have the courage to talk women in the first place. If you didn’t succeed with the woman you’re talking to, don’t let that bring you down. Try to go out more and meet other women like that. The girl I liked I met when I was a highschool senior. She wasn’t like the rest of other women, and actually liked the things I liked (space and theoretical science). My only problem with her is distance as I’m in college and she is still in highschool. But the point I’m trying to say is fine something who will give you the time of day, someone who likes the things you like, someone who won’t reject you for your looks. I know it sounds hard, but women like that do exist. Don’t go for someone because they’re “hot” or for their sex appeal, go for them because they care. Good luck anon, and I will pray for you.

>>703574

It was just the feeling. I do not see anything blasphemous about realizing God is with us. Perhaps it was worded a bit strangely. never mind.

>how did you meet girls?

Church, dance courses, meeting friends and so on.

I'll probably try to ask one of them soon. As I have said: I had bad luck whole summer, the spring was a bit frustrating too so this could be the whitepill I needed. If not at least there are opportunities to take. Nothing is more frustrating than sheer lack of opportunities.

>>703524

I can relate to that. For this reason I try to seek women near church primarily.

I give up. Fapping and distractions are no longer working. I need a gf. How do I properly initiate communication with a woman?

>>703524

>7/10

Nah Ive seen legit 5/10 dudes with insane confidence, who were supremely sure of themselves, "get" women on the secular world. Its tragic because he used to be religious but lost that I guess. Still, you can learn from him. Pray for him though.

>>703817

Are you a false flagger?

>you need to MARK UP YOUR BODY and sin to get a woman

Completely obsessed and hopeless. Youre 23 and never had a "gf"? Cry me a river. 24 and not ugly. Never had one because either I wasn't attracted or they were attractive and even would be good to court but have had some kind of casual sexual encounter if not sex itself. Anyway youre way too obsessed with finding a woman dude. You have completely bought into the world's lie that you need to "have someone" to be happy. All you need is Christ. The rest shall be added unto you. Ever thought that God hasnt given you a woman becuase youre not ready? Because youre not. Youre a big baby who has absolutely no fortitude, which is an essential trait for a husband and father. This plastic surgery shtick you tout is the coward's way out and will only guarantee you never get a woman delivered to you by God, because you sold your soul. And what women have you tried to attract? Try and stay in your range if youre as ugly as you claim…

>>707263

>I have come to the conclusion that I will never break the addiction until I find a wife

OUCH. This is obviously a big part of your problem and you're completely ignoring it. Besides, this is just false. Can you imagine telling this to a girl? "I'm addicted to watching disgusting pornography, but I'm positive it will stop once we're married!". There's no reason you shouldn't be working this every day. Start paleobating if you can't stop entirely.

>Unaesthetic face…eyes are basically squeezed up…weak jaw…

I think you're mentalcel, honestly. On the incel forums where people post pictures of their face, MAYBE 5% or less have seriously unattractive faces. The rest look pretty much normal and are just f'ed in the head somehow. Everyone can find something wrong with themselves when they stare in the mirror for hours and obsess about it. STOP WATCHING PORN.

There may some truth in the digital photo evaluation studies you posted (the framing of the studies seriously biases the studies in several ways), but there is no blackpill in Jesus.

>>707300

Did you read boyo? I said I don't justify my porn use. I have tried to quit dozen of times. I'm serious… dozen. Like 40-50 times. It has never completely worked… I always am drawn back by its disgusting allure. I feel like I will never fully purge myself until I have another way to satisfy myself. I have not given up. I tried again last month (obviously to no avail), and I will keep trying!

> Can you imagine telling this to a girl? "I'm addicted to watching disgusting pornography, but I'm positive it will stop once we're married!".

Not what would happen. The instant we became exclusive, I would stop. No exaggeration. I have female validation now. I don;t need shitty porn… I have a real woman. I would not use porn during a relationship as I consider that proper unfaithfulness/cheating. My own addiction is a huge problem, but cheating is even worse.

I agree that porn is terrible for you: it over-satisfies your dopamine receptors and burns out your reward circuitry in your brain. It makes you feel "fine" when things are not fine… You're also tricking your body into thinking you're having sex and reproducing when you're not. I DO NOT DEFEND PORN OR ITS USE IN ANY WAY

>I think you're mentalcel, honestly.

I have diagnosed Asperger's so take that how you will. However, I have received negative comments about my looks before, so I know for a fact it is a multi-faceted problem. You may not be involved in the incel "community", but most of the people who post pics aren't even incel, or aren't even posting their own pics. I do not believe in strict mentalceldom, meaning that being non-NT can only accentuate inceldom when combined with being short or ugly. A tall, good looking man with Asperger's gets laid. You sound like IT (y'all) saying that it's not their face and its their personality. Get woke and realize that they are wrong and they are just women virtue signalling to defend their heinous sexual selection practices and men agreeing with women blindly in order to get pity attention/sex.

Again, you should read some of my other posts on this thread (I am this ID and also c8d601, one is work PC and one is home). Read how I describe how having a "normal face" means nothing these days due to sex being disturbed by the Pareto Principle for men under 25/30. You have to have a top 20% or you get faithful monogamy, top 40/50% to get cucked, and bottom 50% get NOTHING. Leftism, hypergamy, and (((women's rights))) have won, all we can do is work within it. If it was 1972 I would be married already. If I'm average-looking like you claim I am (I haven't posted my face online in 3+ years), I would still be incel due to how society is. It's so beyond over for me… I will likely never get married. I don't want to be celibate.

>Everyone can find something wrong with themselves when they stare in the mirror for hours and obsess about it.

Sure… Chico has a somewhat recessed chin and orb has shitty teeth and is only 5'8". A face is a sum of its parts, but facial penalties are not linear. Every successive flaw means less. A mans first flaw hurts him, but even worse when you have 4 flaws like myself, the biggest of which has no cure or surgery (eye location).

>>707382

If you really need another way to satisfy yourself, you already have it: it's called your imagination. Basically how men jerked off for millennia on the rare occasions that they did.

I know the stats and facts about relationships these days and I know that I could very well suffer the fate of never getting married. But I don't rage in futility and pessimism like you're doing, which might be corrupting to the soul. Is tfwnogf that much worse than getting burned at the stake or eaten by lions or crucified upside down like the martyrs of old?

>>703574

>>707382

>Experiencing the presence of God is blasphemy

Maybe this is part of the problem?

"I believe that I cannot by my own reason or strength

believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord, or come to Him;

but the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel,

enlightened me with His gifts, sanctified and kept

me in the true faith.

In the same way He calls, gathers, enlightens, and

sanctifies the whole Christian Church on earth, and

keeps it with Jesus Christ in the one true faith.

In this Christian Church He daily and richly forgives

all my sins and the sins of all believers."

<Martin Luther, Small Catechism, Creed Article III

>>707385

Disdain for women will not get you a wife

>>707385

>implying that's the intention

How daft are you, realistically?

You reactionary kiddies make me want to vomit. It must feel good to have your worst instincts validated but some of us have empathy, know women who we love, and conduct our business accordingly.

>>707385

>X will not let get you laid

Why do you use degenerate phrases? "getting laid" goes hand in hand with marrying a woman. Why not use the "will not get you a wife"?

What's your point in using a degenerate language?

Still a bit unsecure about myself. Still having bad luck when it comes to dates. But I cannot complain there would be no good girls around. Actually right now there is a surplus of them.

I often think about my ex-girlfriend though. Perhaps she was the best girl for me. Perhaps I should do my best to get her back.

Anyway. I wonder if any of you guys can relate: I feel an immense desire to love a woman. Not in purely physical sense. Now I care less about looks, more about the character. For the first time in my life I feel prepared mentally to become a father. It has been the case for the last 6 months or so. As liberating a feeling it is, it is also a bit distressing when you still lack the woman God has intended for you.

Perhaps God judges I am still not fully prepared….

>>707770

>Jacking off is part of the problem too. I do realize the specific dangers or pornography, but masturbation is still not moral and I consider it unfaithful to my future wife.

I'm not saying that masturbation is moral. But you're like a gambler blowing $100,000 a day at the casino who balks at the suggestion of blowing only $100 a day because they're both immoral, or someone who's shooting up heroin balks at the suggestion of methadone because they're both drugs.

>you cannot feel God

This is ridiculous. Imagine stargazing under a vast mountain range. Makes you feel in awe, right? But

<Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades,

<or loose the cords of Orion?

<Do you know the ordinances of the heavens?

<Can you establish their rule on the earth?

(Job 38:31,33)

Does contemplating the majesty, power, and righteousness of God make you feel any different than when you're in an abyssal and rage-filled depression, or are these just words in a book that you understand in an intellectual sense?

>>707770

>Where do you have a surplus of women?

I go to church almost daily. I attend few church communities. I have plenty of other hobbies. It is time demanding but with properly organizing my time I am able to do the work I gotta do, work out and read books on top of that.

As I have said. I socialize a lot - at church or outside of it, have made a lot of friends.. female friends. Most of them also have friends…so that's how it goes.

I think it is the right path to take. I am not saying all of them are hardline tra ditional catholic girls but you know what…I am willing to give a little leeway to a girl in this sense since I know I would show her the right direction in faith. There are red lines that I would not cross.

I am far from being a female apologist or a white knight but I do show women respect if they are worth it. Probably wouldn't use the phrase get laid routinely because that's used in the case of thots and I am not interested in thots.

>>707263

>LCMS

Ok nice, thats solid. Thanks for the pat on the back.

>loneliness

That much is apparent. I'm sorry if I was hard on you, I did not intend to talk down. I am sure you know how it is, its natural for men to whince when what they read or hear is perceived as whining. I understand loneliness, certainly. Mother Mary was often lonely with how virtuous she was, so let that be a consolation. I'm Catholic by the way. I know just how lonely and desperate it can feel, I have second-guessed countless times when I have turned women down (and still do). Perfectly fine, nice women, who would probably make fine wives and mothers. Alas, you only are meant for one wife, and I don't want a fornicator, no matter how culpable she may or may not be (no shortage of lies about sex people can easily believe). I implore you to not let your loneliness make you bitter. The black pill is a trick of the devil. I know it is difficult, but don't go down that road. The devil wants to make you into something much less than you are. Christ wants to make you into something you or I or anyone could never deserve to be.

>>707263

Oh also I was referring to liposuction for the marking body up. A little technically inaccurate but I meant the principle was the same, it isnt natural. Lose weight naturally and dont get lipo to distort how God made you.

>>707265

Also, lipo or whatever to change your looks will only make you look worse most likely, if you want a practical answer

>>707385

I want to shit on women as much as the rest, but posting pop-science tier infographs with no source is cringy and so the more is defending said posts.

To add to that, you've clearly never argued against people about these things because if you did they'd ask for the source.

Well I like to present a good scientific paper and shove it into their faces instead of some fancy infograph without any source material except for some cringy website.

What do I say to my friend? He is in complete denial, he refuses to do anything about his life until he finds a woman he wants to marry. He finds them rare, he is only attracted to 10s (he claims). He is decent looking but I think hes in for a rude awakening (and has been). Hes been having a horrible time with it. I understand a fragile biochemistry is at work (anxiety, OCD, and depression) but it is next level. Apparently there is something called ROCD (relationship ocd) which I think he has. I asked if he looked into it and he says he might have it but it wont do any good and he wont be able to fix it. Hes completely hopeless! Unlike the sad bastard who claims to be ugly here, this guy doesnt have problems with women, hes just the pickiest son of a gun Ive ever met in my life. I suppose Ive answered the question already, nothing can be done until he wants help. I have tried to say all the usuals: seek ye first the Kingdom if God, he has to deal with whats in front of him, etc. Has anyone dealt with this? I want to shake him. Its like he doesnt want to take any risk in life. Its like he wants a guarantee for life before he even earnestly tries.

>>709433

Explain to him there is no "perfect woman" There are better and worse women of course. But If he seeks a queen of beauty that will be a perfect housewife, never annoy him….he's in for a crash. He's never met a woman like that because this woman does not exist. Love means sacrifice. Your wife may be almost perfect….but sometimes she will get on your nerves/sometimes you will not like the way she looks, she may gain weight etc. Try to explain to him that 10s are more likely to have character faults because 10s are very demanded by chads who do the hook up game.

Beauuty will perish, character stays the same. Prefer character over 10 looks.

I find myself with a similar problem. I am going after 7+, while 6 may be an issue to me unless there isa strong character.I think I am a bit picky too but not this picky.

However if the woman of my dreams is 6, so what?

Tbh I don't even rate women in my mind like that. Either I like the girl and her style or I don't

Character over looks. One traditional woman is worth thousands thots

>>709860

>10s tend to have more character faults

Yes, this is his biggest problem with it and why he is so hopeless. He since apologized to me though, when he kind of went off (over text), he was having a bad day. Either way, he still struggles hard with it. He just plainly thinks what he wants is not out there. I insist it is just extremely, extremely rare and if you really want it you have to go out and find them. Thanks for the post, friend.

Can I drop in here and tell a story…

This is a story of life. God's plan, and stupidity. Leaning not unto your own understanding.

This story starts in childhood. My soul was given a need for true love. Anything less was unacceptable. I would do anything I could to achieve that goal. That goal remains unfulfilled.

High School yielded no results. My soul was years more mature than my peers. Needless to say, dating in a limited environment was unsuccessful.

The first two years of college took my virginity, but did nothing for my heart. I was learning things I should have learned in HS.

The next two years of college at a different school is where the story turns to the surreal.

I met someone. You know the story. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she was it. Both is body and spirit. I believe my soul knew, she was the one. Unfortunately, my insecure, and very hard heart did not. We were friends. We watched some TV together, drove around talking, nothing serious. She did everything she could to give me her heart. I wasn't receptive. She even tried to give me her body, I didn't take it. I believe today that God himself was giving me the gift of a lifetime and I. rejected. It. (don't ever do this, never do this)

Here is where it gets even more surreal and not understanding comes in.

Today, I am married, I have a stepson and a wife. The relationship with my wife has been strained from day one. It's never been good. I still seek that true love, my wife does not provide it. 10 years of searching for every method to extract that love from my wife has proved fruitless. I have disconnected from my wife, There's nothing left. I'm just still with her because it's more trouble to leave her. I'll 'deal' with the lack of love, because the rest of my life is good. I live in a very nice place, I have a great home, one most would envy. I have my own business, it's working, but still dicey, but working. God has given me this. Then. Recently. The love of my life, whom I have not been in contact with for over 20 years….. Tragedy strikes. After I rejected her in college, she dated and then married my best friend I had down there. I put them together. 20 years. Happiness. Now nothing. Instantly, gone from her. Passed away. When I found out, modern tech allowed me to find her. I made contact. Expressed my sorrow for her loss. 10 seconds into that call. 20 years later. I have not said my name. She knew. She had remembered me. Turns out, she remembers every single breath we took together. That fire we started still burns in her heart. Embers have turned to flame. I have been able to stoke a flame back for me in her heart. She is conflicted and cannot love two people at the same time. One passed, one alive. One gone forever, one distant and not available. God has reconnected me with the very gift he tried to give me so many years ago.

It is my intention to forsake my entire current life, all possessions as necessary, extract myself from an unfulfilling relationship and do everything that is necessary to accept this gift from God this time. I will not reject this again.

Her heart, her happiness, her love is more important to me than my next breath. Without the love she has, true, deep, loyal, honest…. life is purposeless.

My soul has cried for 20 years without her, while my heart was clueless. Why would God do this? Shall God show me, and then take away again that which is so precious. Hold before me that which I cannot have? What is the purpose? I know what I lost. I know what i gave up. There is no need to show me again. Annihilation of my heart is what I am facing. This is a matter/antimatter reaction. I was scared of this pain 20 years ago and rejected. Turns out, the pain was always there, the walls I built kept it in. I will not do that again. If I lose, it will be with full, unfiltered knowledge that I left it all on the field. There will be nothing left of me. Total. Complete. Commitment to this goal. Annihilation is the price of failure. Either I win her heart, or I will be the only man on the planet, that has lost the woman of his dreams…..twice.

>>710230

>Leaning not unto your own understanding

That's right, you're supposed to trust in the Lord instead, and here's what he said:

"Whereupon he told them, If a man puts away his wife and marries another, he behaves adulterously towards her"

>My soul was given a need for true love

That true love is found in God, not in adultery.

>The love of my life…not in contact for over 20 years

I guess this makes you around 45? Makes sense because this is the worst hybrid of teenage angst and boomer selfishness I've ever seen.

My friend introduced to a nice and pretty girl a few months ago. I kind of want to talk to her again. How should go about asking him where and when I can see her?

>>710256

Hes your buddy, just ask. Thats the great thing about men, you can be straightforward with absolutely 0 fear.

>>710284

Man, this takes me back…First off, know youre not alone in being too slow too move. Most guys are. Everyone makes this classic mistake. Make a move earlier next time, for starters. But this is what we have on our hands so theres no point in dwelling on the past. It isnt even all THAT late, just do it soon. Ok, so she definitely isnt mad. If she is interested, she might be starting to wonder why you havent made a move, which is possibly why she was stand offish those couple times. Dont freak, but you need to do something soon. Be confident youll see her and everything, dont let your mind run away from your control, but resolve to simply ask her out soon. Dont say it out of the blue, just talk to her like normal when you see her naturally. Into the conversation at some point, say something like "Hey how about we grab lunch (this weekend, next week)? Call it a date." If/when she says yes, ask for her # if you dont have it obviously. Be very casual about it, but also make it clear its a date and has a light romantic connotation. Dont confess your love! Be calm, cool, and casual. Youve built this girl up in your head (based on a very real intimaton of beauty she has shown to you) and now you need to act on it.

>>710307

I want to add, she very well could have never been interested (though I doubt that). Doesnt matter, you need to do this for yourself regardless so when the woman you do marry comes around, you have the guts to make it happen.

Three possible scenarios:

1. She likes you and you win! Woo!

2. She used to like you, but has gotten over it and you missed the boat. Oh well. Let the fact she showed female validation to you give you confidence and lifefuel for future interactions with equally (or maybe even moreso…?) beautiful women.

3. She never liked you. Waa waa.

Only ONE way to find out! WELCOME TO THE ABSOLUTE NEVERENDING EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER THAT IS DATING, ANON!!!! :D

>>710417

Just realized the thread is bumplocked, will probably repost in the next once it's up.

>>710417

>I am infatuated

>Wouldn't be if i talked to other girls

>She does not like me anyway

There is a reason why the girl seeks your attention. There is a reason why you feel inscure..because you like the girl. Ortherwise you would not care.

Asking her out is a great idea. She accepts - you get to have a date with a girl, your confidence spikes up, she rejects you - your confidence is boosted by you having the guts to make the move. It's a win win situation. Think less about "what if she.." and make the decision. Then something happens, build on that.

>>710284

Long read,worth the time. You're just overthinking it. At some point she has been interested in you. She probably still is. She may be just waiting for you to take charge of the situation - to ask her out on a date. Don't go around saying you love her so early, you will lose the tension and you could scare her out. Just come to her and ask her to her face "would you go grab a coffee with me?" Make sure you say it is a date. Act in a casual manner as if you were asking your friend if he wants to go out to just talk. It's not easy but it will come with time. Being nervous is good. It means you care for the girl, otherwise it would be no challenge,obviously.

Do not make excuses…oh we do not get the chance to talk alone. That's not true. DO you get to meet her..right? then go over to her even if she's with friends and ask "would you mind if we talked for a minute?" She will not refuse,when you separate her from other people just ask her.

Now stop overthinking everything, man up, get out there and ask her out. Pray for the strength, once you are about to do it remember that your legs are nailed to ground until you finish the task. You either get yes or no.

When my heart races in those instances and I feel like chickening out I just think about it this way: I need to do it because God will teach me something this way/I overcome my fear as a repentance for my sins.

Now go.

Good luck.

>Attend a christian community

>Beautiful girls all around the place, literally

>One particularly catches my eye because she wears a nice shirt with folk motives

>Go, speak to her about the shirt

>Meet her few times just passing by,gives a nice smile

>Decide to ask her out

>Get a chance to speak to her and her friend

>"Anon I actually remember you from the mass..about a half a year ago you were there…"

>yes.rar

>Presume you will meet her the other day where you have met her passing.

>Wait for two hours nervously, get nothing in the end because she wasn't there this time.

Tough luck. Perhaps Deus just wasn't Vulting this time. I think she's out of my league though. Will give an update once I get the chance to ask her out.

>>710230

I get you feel like you've made a mistake but seriously you have married a woman. You have become one flesh with her. In the eyes of God you are not separable. If you abandon her for the other woman, you commit adultery. You have a responsibility towards the woman you have married. You have responsibility towards your family. All you can do is to seek God's help to shield you from sin and to make your wife more loving.You should sort out the troubles in your marriage. Second woman will not fix them, only make them more serious.

Even though it might be what goes against our wishes and passions, this is what God demands of us.

I've been attending a church the last several months and I've become taken with one of the young women there. Im in my 30s and shes about 10 years younger than me; although developmentally Im still a decade behind (just got a Masters degree, no kids / divorce, about to land my first decent real job / living with a younger brother / look younger than my age).

Anyhow like I said I've got some intimacy / developmental issues. Ive been working through it with therapy, /fit/, vitamin supplements, and prayer with Faith in Christ. I'm doing better, have more confidence, losing weight with muscles.

Just for a bit more context, Im not sold on the church I’m attending. A mile wide and an inch deep. But the people are friendly and welcoming; I’ve joined the young adults group after talking with the young adult pastor. He invited me saying there were some older men like me, who are all in the same station in life.

I’ve spoken to the girl I fancy two times, while she manned the coffee counter. I made a small impression on her but she made a huge impression on me. The previous Friday there was a joint-gender Friday potluck, I just knew in an intuitive sense that she would be there. I got a chance to talk to her for about 10 minutes. We talked about our names and our backgrounds for a bit, we hadn’t spoken in months and she did say she remembered me. I didnt talk to her again at the party, it was noisy and she was mostly with the other women-folk, while the men mostly remained together. I did catch her looking my way a few times; it warmed my heart. I was hoping to see her again the last two church services but AFAIK she has been working on Sundays. I wont be seeing her this Sunday as I have another secular obligation to attend. We do have another mixed-meeting coming up next Friday; and I will be attending primarily with the hope of seeing her (and continuing to ingratiate myself within the Christian community there). The young men’s adult group starts up on wednesdays again soon, and for the first time they will be doing mixed gender Thursday night group. I plan on going hopefully to see her, and perhaps other girls if things don’t work out.

I’ve been thinking about her alot today. I had a dream last night where we were having dinner together. It was one of those things that was painful because of my loneliness and desire to be with her; and pleasant because it showed me the possibility of what could be.

My questions here are as follows:

How do I go about pursing this woman?

How long do I wait before asking her out?

How do I go about asking her out? - I could really use specifics on this

I’m planning on talking to a relative (woman) who is well connected with the Church to find out specifically if she is single (I’m almost positive she is). And also to get her opinion if I should even be pursing her because of the age difference. I dunno, Im kind of confused about everything here which is why I am writing you guys.

Let me know what you think. Im open to criticism / critique. Prayers encouraged.

>>713289

Do not do this "let's ask her friend if she's single". I mean there's nothing inherently wrong with asking but it won't solve your situation anyway. It's rather a waste of time. Her friend does not need to know you;re interested in that girl. The girl needs to know.

>How do I go about pursing this woman?

By asking her out. If she;s interested in you she will go. You talked, she remembers you. Perhaps another time when you speak to her for a while, ask her out. Or the next time after that when you meet her.

>How long do I wait before asking her out?

There are no rules. She knows you, she remembers you, she shows positive signs also…no need to wait. You'll get yes or no.

>How do I go about asking her out?

When you meet her just ask her "would you go out…grab a coffee this/that day?" (Do not just say sometimes,…you want to set a date, not a vague possibility of going somewhere someday…)

If she's interested she will accept, you set the time and place, you get her number in case something changed, done.

If she's not interested/has someone she will say so. Then just smile and say "all right, take that as a compliment". It is a good line, does not sound nervous or anything.

Shortly: You do not have to wait, overthink anything. You may go ahead, go grab a coffee, then go for a walk and you get to know the girl. IF ti goes well you will both be interested in meeting again…

It may seem difficult but it is actually easier than it seems. The stress goes off once you deliver the line "will you go out" Taking a chance when she's about to head for home from the community meeting is not a bad idea at all.

Good luck Anon.

I'm just gonna blog post in the hope it makes me feel better, but that's probably not worth your time.

Anyway I'm the anon who was led on by a girl who ultimately told me that she was never interested in me in the first place. It really hurt me at the time, but I thought I got over it during summer.

I still meet her regularly though, because we attend the same church, and yesterday we were at the same party. I tried to have a good time, but I couldn't help but feel some kind of sadness/anger at her sight. I got quite drunk and that helped me, but when I woke up I was feeling like utter shit. I'm trying to understand why I can't get over this, but I feel like it's pointless because the feelings you have for someone don't go away easily. I know I don't even want to be with her now, that I'm probably not ready to meet my future wife anyway, that there are many other girls out there, etc. But when she's around me I get completely depressed and want to kill myself. This is ridiculous, that's just because I can't get over the fact that she rejected me. Maybe I have a huge ego or something. I just want to move on now, to stop having feelings for her, and stop thinking about the things I went through because of her. But my mind just won't have it this way.

I think I should pray harder, but I don't know if that kind of prayer would be legitimate, and I fear that if that doesn't work I will loose some of my faith in God.

I really hate this situation. It's been 3 months already and I'm scared as hell that it's gonna last much longer.

>>713927

> God's not real because a girl doesn't like me back

Just listen to yourself m8

>>714105

I don't want her to like me back, I want to stop having feelings for her. Even if she ever started feeling the same for me I would reject her.

I know I sound a bit pathetic though. Pray for me buddy.

>>714967

I will

>>714595

Why do you spam a blackpill on this thread?? creating a thread was good enough to get your point discussed. No need to bother around here. This thread is not about "whether to" but "how to".

Stay in the thread you created.

>>712942

Did not get an exact answer. She said she will call about whether she can/cannot.

I smell BS so I do not give it much chances. I will give her the benefit of doubt for now but if she shows any attempts to play the "maybe" game I am out in a minute.

I mean it's not such a big deal to say you're interested in meeting the other person if you;re truly interested.

I detest any stupid games.

>>715684

Yeah it doesn't look good. Let us know.

>>716029

She actually caught up and made a counter offer by herself as soon as she could so we'll see how the date goes. I do not want to get too excited about it in case I am disappointed.

Perhaps I was being a bit unjust to expect a sham straight away. But you know the way girls are sometimes. One gets blackpilled easily these days…

>>670973

A month ago, before my 18th birthday, I was camping with my youth group.

Long story short a 13 year old and I found out we liked each other. What do? We only see each other at church events.

>>717970

Ask her out there.

>>717167

Right on! Let us know how it goes for sure then!

>>717167

>>718256

It was great. She seems to be a nice kind of girl. Family oriented, feminine, we do have things in common. I want to see her again to see where things go.

But I am kind of troubled anyway. There are other things that make haze in my mind. I still often think about my ex girlfriend. She is a great girl and I would not mind her becoming my wife after thinking it through during last year. So that's one thing: I often want to go over to her and tell her I do like her after all things. The issue is I do not know whether we could start over/if it would be better than it was, also she has a boyfriend.

And after today I literally feel like something might be wrong with me. I was on a date with this pretty girl, I like her but then hours later I meet another one and the next thing on my mind is "I could ask her out". I know I have 0 commitment to the first one but at the same time I do not get why my passion fluctuates this way….I am not a promiscuous guy and I don't feel like one.

At the moment I would say there are quite a few girls around me to choose from. I want to find the right one but at the same time I am afraid of just being too picky, not settling down for anything with this kind of attitude. I also realize that the only way to get to know the girls is to just try it.

I am going to have to pray more for God's guidance in those things because I really do not know which way to go. Communicating/setting up the date is no longer a grave problem for me I just do not know whether I direct the energy in the right way

What do?

Does anyone have similar issue?

>>718016

Well

One: She's not allowed to date

Two: I'm going into the military once I graduate

We've been advised against dating, especially someone else in the youth group.

>>718292

Don't be afraid of trying things (non sinful things) with girls, to get experience. That being said don't go too far and end up in anything lustful or in a toxic relationship.

>>718417

Now I get it. You're organizing those events so you should not date the participants, right?

>She's not allowed to date

parents? In my country "date" means grabbing a coffee, or just going for a walk, nothing more. Personally I like taking a girl to park the most.

>>718418

thanks for response. Perhaps I just overthink things immediately. I should calm down and see things from that perspective.

>>718516

I'm still technically in the youth group along with her, but the whole thing is looked down on in a sorta comical way by other adults in the church. Most importantly, her parents.

>>718292

>I felt right after "I could ask this girl out"

Nothing wrong with that, purely natural! You are a #high-T male and that is what women want. Good job. You also seem to have the magic combination of conscience and masculinity so use them. Just navigate it carefully. As the other guy said, get experience with interacting with women, not sinfully obviously. Just conversation, how they act and are, getting a feel for it all. As for your ex, move on. She has a boyfriend. Maybe it will come around again later, but for now be detached and let go. You have no control if it will come back. If it will and perhaps God will's it, it will. Show you trust God. A good way to know if something is from God is to ignore it, because it will naturally, truly come up again and again, bonking you on the head. If it is from the devil, he will get bored and go away. So focus on these new women now. You are going great, slugger. Everything you are describing is 100% how the process goes, ahhh you take me back to only the past few years! We're all learning and winging it. Yes, do go out with as many women as you are interested in, and narrow it down. This will also protect you from one-itis. But by all means, when you find a true candidate, zero in. But don't force any of it and just let it flow. Good man! Praying for you. Here is a good prayer to pray for the process, I said it to myself at work today and felt a moment of peace: "Direct, O Lord, all our actions by your holy inspirations, and carry them on by your gracious assistance, that every prayer and work of ours may begin always from you, and by you be happily ended. Through Christ our Lord. Amen." Covers quite literally everything!

>>719284

Thank you for kind words and also the advice. Thank you for the prayers I will pray for you too. Will try to include the prayer right after a st.Raphael's prayer - apatron of those seeking a spouse.

Are you married already?

I know one-itis is a bad thing but until now I wasn't able to equilibrate it with going around and considering every girl. Perhaps this is when the equilibrum happens - focusing on the few that really interest me, sorting them out.

Again thank you for the reaction, it sorted out my doubts on how to conduct myself in those situations.