/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

GENERAL EXPECTATIONS AND WHAT TO WRITE

The following are the ideals one should aspire to, the expectation is that you look for a person who has the same shortcomings you do. Feel free to copy and paste this to your dating profile as needed.

>No Degeneracy

Illicit drug and alcohol abuse are hedonistic by nature. No drinking is best, social drinking is acceptable but open to taste. Minimal secular media consumption limits the ability of the devil to work against your life and relationships via its nihilist/hedonist leanings.

KIK/SNAPCHAT/SELFIES ARE INDICATORS OF SOLIPSISM, A HUGE RED FLAG.

>No body modifications

Tattoos, hair color changes and piercings are signs of self doubt, as the person doesn't believe that they are interesting enough on their own as representatives of a living God.

If you have them before salvation, understand that you potentially limit your dating pool.

>Sexual Responsibility

This is where we most fall. The modern secular media makes it difficult to resist. No sex until marriage shows respect not just to your partner but to yourself. No fapping.

Virginity/never married/no children is the ideal, but if you lack any of these, you potentially limit your dating pool.

>Sexual Roles

Dress and act respectfully in regards to biological sex.

-Men should have a sunday best for church (blazer, shirt, tie, slacks, and dress shoes), business and/or casual in general, and be assertive in regards to considering themselves, their woman, and the people important to each other.

-Women should enjoy wearing dresses and skirts in church and in public, use modest amounts of makeup and jewelry (if any), delight in submission, and earn respect of themselves from others.

>Church Attendance

At least once a month at a minimum. It is generally understood that people may have events that would keep them from church. To taste.

>Family Mindset

You both must want children and either desire or already have healthy relationships with family.

>Misc Demographics

Recommended height up to +/- 6in or 15cm, aged +/- 5 years from each other. To taste.

Similar body types, gym attendance rates, intellectual pursuits, income levels, race, etc.

"OPPOSITES ATTRACT" IS A LIE

telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/12170295/Relationships-opposites-do-not-attract-scientists-prove.html

FAQ

>What can I expect?

This varies on population density, as larger towns will have more but sometimes "low quality" suitors and rural areas will have fewer, higher quality yet distant ones. Your distance tolerance is to taste, but be prepared to find the perfect person outside of your comfort/taste zone.

>What about pictures

Post pics from your social media to make you easy to identify if you're gonna be a cheap skate. Make sure the pictures show you at your best. No property showcasing or trashy club/party pics as good Christians don't do those things anyways. If you don't have social media/pictures, get your family/friends to take or scan in pictures of you in your Sunday best and business casual. Nerd.

>What will people think?

Don't worry about it. Care about your goal of embarking on a proper Christian journey of marriage with a mate you will see as your peer.

>What do I write?

Start with full name (for social media stalking purposes), self description (age, weight, height, gym/church frequency, hobbies, faults/body mods). State that you like to dress well for church and in general for God's glory, have pics that back that up. List and label yourself as "ultra-traditional", your denomination, date of salvation, and state that you don't want a physical relationship before marriage. This shows you are serious about it which repels the lukewarm and desperate. As such, state desired demographic ranges, hobbies, denoms (if any), focus on opposite sex roles listed in general expectations. List compromises based on your own shortcomings and affirm that if a potential suitor doesn't meet your expectations, wish them blessings but ask to not message.

>I can't find my denom, what do?

As long as you both believe the Nicene creed and the Chalcedonian Definition, personal, doctrinal, and familial tastes and compromises apply.

>First date?

Coffee shop. Low investment opportunity to see if the truth lives up to the small talk.

>Fission Mailed, what do?

If you don't make a lasting connection in 3 months of honest effort, take a break, continue to improve yourself in Christ, then try again when you're further along.

>Wah, why are girls so hard to find?

Instead of focusing on the woman, focus on making yourself the kind of man that your ideal woman wants. Stop hiding your cowardice as inability on your part or impossibility on her part.

>What's your personal experience?

There are tons of lovely christian girls 18-25 on these sites. I was starting to burn out because I was in my late 20's and all the christmas cake on the site were either divorced, had kids out of wedlock, hit the wall, desperate, etc. If you are younger should have much more success than I did if you're just as devout. I got the six month plan, got burned out 2 months in, met a nice girl who was 3 hours away, then managed to find my waifu right before the 3 month mark, and wasted the other 3 months I paid for. I am certain that my personal adherance to all of the above mentioned was essential to my success but your mileage may vary.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS IN ORDER TO UPDATE OP FOR FUTURE THREADS

MAY THE PEACE OF THE LORD BE WITH YOU

>>653399 (checked)

>yellow fever tiggers get out REE

Maybe if white men knew how to control their women they wouldn't have to go for asian women.

White men, git gud

>>653409

pretty hard when (((they))) are working against us.

am mongrel and there are not many Christian women of my race, what do?

>>653418

Excuses are like buttholes. Everyone has one, and no matter how much you try to pretty it up, it still stinks.

Before this turns into another cringe thread: going to a new church. Pray for me, it would be nice to find a Christian woman who will love me back.

How do I stop being such a loser? I've been struggling with this for a while now, but I can't help but feel that no matter what I do in life I'll be unhappy, and am losing hope for ever having meaning in life or ever getting married. I have almost no friends, and the few I do have are essentially just the people I see in classes. Whenever I am at social events I feel awkward and out of place. I can hardly remember the last time I actually had a meaningful conversation with a girl. I'm scared that my life after college is going to turn into me just working without a family to come home to or purpose in life.

Dont touch your girlfriends boobs OP

>>653527

First step, run the opposite direction ;of this thread

Would it be wrong of me to seek out other girls while I begin the process of breaking up with my current gf? I know for a fact I won't marry her, I just haven't been able to bring it, and the reasons why, with her yet. I do not have any other girls in mind, this is just a question.

>>653539

That's a pretty terrible idea, you should recover at least a little as a single person. But in the spirit of these threads sure, go out to neg some bitches and tap them boobs in the name of Jesus

>>653540

>go out to neg some bitches and tap them boobs in the name of Jesus

That's not at all what I was implying I wanted to do, but I will respect the first portion of your reply.

>>653433

Which country?

>>653542

I'm not saying you implied that at all, but stick around and see what will be said. Sexual promiscuity will be encouraged or at least accepted, by men that is. Inter-racial marriage will be promoted out of pure hatred for white christian women. Respecting women for their godly attributes will be equated with worshiping female genitalia. If the mods knew what they were doing they would remove these threads or at least come down on the antichristian spirit in them

>>653433

Take up the culture of your motherland, and perhaps a native of that land will be willing to breed with you.

>>653466

Focus on being a Christian man who loves God and himself. Will pray.

>>653527

Read the OPs and your bible until it finally clicks. You can do it, and if you're smart you'll do it much sooner in life than I did.

>>653539

>Monkey branching

Even if you're an apex chad, you open yourself up to having it done to you by an apex stacey. Be honest with yourself, if only for God.

>>653534

>>653545

>>653540

>Stop liking what I don't like

>Running out of ad hominem

Go be happy somewhere else.

>>653620

Touched her boobs recently OP? Its all legit as long as you avoid that ear

>>653534

winnie the pooh you. I come here asking a legitimate question and all you do is winnie the pooh around with OP. I've been asking all over online for years trying to get help trying to turn my life around and I'm at my wits ends and then winnie the poohs like you have to ruin my confidence further and stress me out. I hardly can care about God any more since I just feel lonely and awkward. I can't go anywhere and be happy. I can't enjoy myself around people. I can't enjoy myself alone. My future as it is looks like it's just going to be infront of a computer for the rest of my life with no winnie the pooh joy. Holy shit. I've lost hope for happiness and actually finding a relationship. I've lost hope for finding someone I could just talk to about what I'm thinking. Do you think my first option was turning to the chans. All I get anywhere is the standard "get fit, lol", "take a walk", "God loves you". I hardly expected to get anything different here, and it looks like I won't. But of course, winnie the poohs like you don't actually care about helping anyone, you just want to come here and winnie the pooh around.

>>653544

midwestern america in a predominately white area, it's pretty quiet and not much happens

>>653645

Who do you think is responsible for your happiness?

How many times have you been told to go to the gym, and how many times have you actually done it?

How often do you read your bible and go to church?

What answer are you expecting to get on an anonymous image board?

I think the problem that you're having, based on your writings, is that you think your suffering is somehow worse than others. I'm a pretty alpha guy and also deal with the same problems you do. The only friend I ever had blew his brains out. But just because I do doesn't mean that I should neglect myself, if only for God's sake. No one else can do that for you. You're just suffering a pity party and expect us to un-winnie you. If you don't even care enough about your own self to seek improvement, why should it be anyone else's problem? Don't think you're the only who's ever felt weird and went to college. For someone who does so much navel gazing how can you find fault in yourself and think that you're incapable of self improvement. Are you really that stupid to think you're already perfect? Grow up, kid.

Going to my first ever date tomorrow. Am I expected to pay on a coffee date? Anything else (etiquette things) I should know? prayers would be greatly appreciated, too

>>653399

>YELLOW FEVER TIGS PLS GO

wtwtp is a "tig"?

Also, why are you so racist, OP?

Nothing wrong with having an obsession about a certain physical appearance.

Plus, in my country, a good Christian woman is hard to find.

>>653464

You're an a-hole. Do you do the same great job pretending to be a drill sergeant with yourself? I'll bet not.

>>653418

>pretty hard easy when they (((HE))) are is working against for us.

*fixed

Remember, if Christ is for us, who can possibly stand against us?

>>653814

<dude nothing wrong with having a fetish

<it's totally ok to be obsess with lusts of the flesh

>>653645

>>653527

Same, raised by a single mother that never let me do anything myself, turning me into a worthless loser that is unable to do anything for himself.

Being constantly taken care of can really destroy your personality, and fill you with self-hatred.

I do think my life has been improving step by step, the most importent aspect is to stop blaming other people for failures in your life.

Second, it's also very important to realize that your not everything revolves around you, feeling "lonely and awkward" does not matter. All that matters is that you improve your life, and your personality (always be nice to other people!)

"I just feel lonely and awkward. I can't go anywhere and be happy. I can't enjoy myself around people. I can't enjoy myself alone. My future as it is looks like it's just going to be infront of a computer for the rest of my life with no winnie the pooh joy. Holy shit. I've lost hope for happiness and actually finding a relationship. I've lost hope for finding someone I could just talk to about what I'm thinking."

Same, while you could hire someone to listen to you, I would recommend talking to God.

The problem that I was having was that I stopped caring about God, and my prayers just felt like a stupid joke.

You have to change your mindset, it's something only you can do, if you're unable to do it God will not be able to reach you.

Also;

Stop browing; /pol/(stop caring about politics in general), any porn site, 4chan, any 8ch besides /christian/, youtube, any social that is not 1 on 1 contact.

"My future as it is looks like it's just going to be infront of a computer for the rest of my life"

Give your life to God, and he will fill you with joys you never ever experiences before.

Bud, in the end, all your problem are in your head. NOONE here can change you, only God can, if you let him.

>>653653

>>653869

Thanks for the advice. Was feeling pretty down last night. You guys gave me a few things to think about.

>>653801

Hey Bro. Yeah, assuming you're the guy you're supposed to pay for whatever, but if shes a strong, independent woman type she might insist upon paying. Beyond that, open doors and mirror whatever she says. For example:

"Oh anon, I got a new car and I really like it because it has a digital dashboard"

Say "Yeah, thats the kind without the regular kind of gauges, right?"

This keeps her going, keeps her talking. Women love to talk and you'll learn a lot about her this way. Definitely speak yourself of course, but this is a great way to keep things going, which is especially helpful in the inevitable awkwardness of a first date, which you'll have to power through.

Good luck anon, I'll pray for you!

P/S the number one trick here is to mirror her dominant father figure in some ways. Hopefully, her dad treats her well, so she'll respond positively to you holding doors open for her, etc, etc. But most women seek out someone who subconsciously reminds them of their dominant father figure, which is also why women from broken homes seek out broken, usually abusive men. This system works for good, or evil. Hopefully you find this to be a good situation, tho.

>>654010

thanks anon

mongrel here, am happy as is but still want to serve God, should I remain celibate and just spread the good word? I don't think I'm called for the married life and I'm not really able to be personal with many people outside of my family.

>>653801

Pay, make eye contact, smile, let her talk. Unless she reveals herself to be a pagan whore, you're gonna make it brah.

>>653814

>Purposely use tig to show it wasn't word filtered

>y u so raycis?!

>You're an a-hole, here let me contradict myself

You're funny.

>>653826

Don't do it. I answered this a few threads ago, but the more different you find your mate to be from you, the more likely you are to hate that trait with time. If she's honestly uglier than you and its not just a weight thing, then you may just be subconsciously suffering from low self esteem to think that its the best you can do. The linked article in the OP talks about that.

>>653896

You're a good sport for taking it on the chin, you're on your way.

>>654016

>Mongrel

If you are mixed race and are having a complex about it, never forget that you have an identity in Christ that supercedes it. Like I told the other guy, take up the culture of your motherland and at least give women a chance to find you attractive for your faith before you Paul yourself.

I'll pray for you all.

>>654040

Should've specified I was the same guy, my bad.

Not to be a whiny pessimist but there aren't many East Asian Christians, but I'll definitely try. I am skinnyfat but have a fair amount of muscle on my arm so I have a semblance of a chance. I do try to be positive but I'm worried that my lack of hobbies is going to make me boring. Also as evident here I really struggle with piecing my thoughts in a coherent manner and it always takes me about 10 seconds to come up with an organic response to anything, do you know anyways I can "prepare" what I say without coming off as a cold autistic automation?

Thank you for the prayers and advice anon.

I don't have yellow fever, but Asian women give me a lot, and I mean a lot, more attention than white girls. I'm not ugly, I'm educated, I have a solid job, it's just that white girls seem to respond to thuggish behavior from men. Honestly, the whole 'be a jerk thing' is very true for white women. My problem is I can't respect women who need to be manipulated and 'controlled' to be happy. It's like having a kid, not a partner.

In 3 years when I turn 30, if I don't at least have a fiancee, I'm working on moving to Japan. It's the only way I see of finding happiness.

>>654070

You're confusing evolutionary psychology cause and effect with genuine attraction. You like the cheap ego boost asians give you rather than earning the respect of women who share your cultural and genetic legacy. You're willing to doom your future generations just to give into easy modo self hatred via not self actualizing due to low self esteem. No amount of mental gymnastics on your part will change this. Just look at how it effects guys like >>654056, who have to deal with complexes arising from such lazy parental decision making, of which he didn't ask for.

>>654088

I told you what earns the respect of women here. Stereotypical macho shit. I simply don't act that way. And before you call me a beta, my work is controlling 100 people every day. I simply don't want to play the petty mind games. In my mind, relationships are simple - you like similar things, you joke around, you like being around eachother. But no, that's not enough and that's not how it works. Because apparently, the better you treat women, the less they like you. I'm sick of that mindset and I'm not participating in that charade.

>>653534

OP is cool otherwise but literally this. Stop feeling up your woman who may or may not be your bride OP

>>654097

Yeah this guy's got a point. The mind game shit is insane. You can find white girls who aren't horrible though, but I completely understand your frustration and appreciation of Asian women.

The white girl I was talking to (who actually turned out to have good soil and confessed things to a priest) is no longer interested, so it looks like this Asian is an option. There's still white girls at some local churches, one of which is a Roman Catholic Eastern rite, so pray for me bros and I'll do likewise.

This anon again:

>>653801

Just came back from my first date ever, it went alright I think. We talked for one and a half hours, there were some awkward silences here and there, but overall it was smooth and fun. We decided to meet again, she gave her number and went for a hug. Thanks for the prayers.

>>654097

>Some dilbert tier middle manager

>I-I'm alpha

Alphas don't make excuses. If you're too much of a coward to understand women in any measure, and you only seem to gravitate towards ones with daddy issues, you're the problem. Talk about relationships or leave.

>>654195

You are a feather in my cap, my friend. May God continue to bless you in your endeavors.

>>653826

We're not exactly at the position to demand much.

I struggle to find a virgin young woman interested in marriage and being a housewife, and I think many here also do.

I know it sucks to lower your beauty standards but that's what I think you should do.

If you're swimming in virgin women, of course that doesn't apply.

If looking at women is adultery how am I supposed to "flirt" with a girl?

If you know what I mean

>>654266

Flirting and courting are two different things.

>>654278

Can you explain the difference? For I am not a native English speaker.

>>654218

Oh I understand women and the fact I understand them makes me just stop bothering with them. You sound like a cheap pua shit slinger btw.

If I'm more valuable at a certain place, why shouldn't I go to that place? What have I got to prove? Should I go there and just be myself and be happy, or stay and train myself into some macho frenzy? Because you can't scorn me, I'm productive, independent, I don't need anyone to 'set me straight'. And those are probably the reasons I bore most women here, it's just not exciting enough for them.

>>654294

Courting = asking her father's permission to take her out on a date and eventually marry

Flirting = talking to the woman and trying to seduce her without the parent's permission.

>>654321

Thank you. Isn't it kinda weird, talking to the father of a girl you don't know well? Shouldn't you get to know her first?

https://bookofpook.neocities.org

Godly Marriage and Virginity: Paths to Holiness

Not directed towards anyone specifically but please don't think all your happiness is dependent on having a potential partner. One person cannot magically cure your sadness and if you rely on your partner for your happiness 24/7 you will be a drain on them and when they leave you it will be devastating. Find some hobbies or anything you enjoy doing in your free time.

>>654088

Hitler dubs check'd and heil'd

I personally don't have any complexes but many other mixed-race folk do. My Dad was and still is a white Christian conservative who knew and taught me how to work with household hardware so he's no soyboy but he didn't seem too prepared for me considering he conceived me in his mid-40s (probably why I'm a sperg). I don't resent him because I know he cared.

Never was attacked by an ebul nazi, worst thing was actually those shitty cultural heritage days they pushed in school where they went around and asked about your background because it's the first time you realize that you don't belong with the pure race kids and they all eye you like your an abomination when you pass by. Thankfully I had a firm Christian identity by the time so I didn't feel too lost but in liberal atheist houses where nothing is firm, objective, or sacred mongrels have no chance at life because they don't even have their race to hold on to and end up as hollow husks with no sense of identity.

>low confidence, pride, porn problem

>Red pill

>Realize I'm going downhill

>working out, studying, dumping the pozz

>Several attempts to quit masturbating

>Finally become hardline christian

>Longer streaks, gain hope again

>almost half a year of nofap

>Looking for a woman for marriage

>Not finding the right one despite being quite successful with girls(going on dates).

How do I stop the blackpill slippery slope?

I have been quite blackpilled for weeks now even though I killed most of my inner demons, improved myself, been doing everything I can to find the woman - secondary to improving myself. I no longer fear relapsing as far as fap/porn is concerned. I know God has a path for me but praying has become more and more difficult and frankly I can feel this slowly eats my willpower from the inside. I know devil puts those doubts in my mind. It feels like they're everywhere around without having actually entered…yet.

what do?

>>656478

Whoops messed that one up

I mean do the "Sunday only Christian" women have certain characteristics that an actual pure one doesn't?

>>656176

Sorry if I misinterpreted your previous postings friend.

>>656258

By realizing the truth doesn't invalidate the search. The bible speaks at length about the follies of women, but don't be scared to widen the net.

>>656478

>>656481

Virgin women are as awkward as virgin men are depicted to be. They have an adorably "moé" quality about them that makes them entirely pleasant to be around. A nominal Christian woman is just another run of the mill degenerate normalfag heathen who happens to wear a cross. Repented non virgin women will wait until marriage just like a virgin one. But if you yourself aren't blameless, you shouldn't focus on their sin, focus on repenting for yours.

>>656478

>It was everywhere but the vagina so I'm a virgin and it wasn't sin

Girl I was dating revealed this to me.

>oh so you're not a virgin?

>no I am! I just sucked a dick a few times

>… so you had oral sex?

>yes

>and virgin means you've never had any sex

>yes

>so you're not a virgin

>no I am

Got rid of her pretty fast. The only reason we didnt have sex is because I refused. I have no doubt she would have if I offered

>>656478

By not dating a fool.

>>656481

If you're talking Catholic, just see if they accept the Church teaching on everything they're supposed to.

>>656498

>Repented non virgin women will wait until marriage just like a virgin one.

what this brother said.

What should I do if I don't think a girl is being receptive, but I don't want to hit her with the full weight of my autism?

I went on what seemingly was a date with a girl I like from my church like two weeks ago. I say seemingly as I just invited her to coffee without using that word and the most explicit date like thing was that I paid for her which she acted a little surprised by, but I can't tell if she actually was. It went pretty good without awkward pauses or weird feelings or anything, but at the end I brought up another time we could do something and she said she would need to check on that, and when I checked back with her she couldn't. I texted her two other times to see if we could do something, but the first time she said she was babysitting, which from what I know seems pretty legit, and the other time she was out of town, which lined up with her not being at church. I've then seen her at church but there was nothing more than a passing smile.

I really don't like this pursuing someone thing and I can't tell if I'm supposed to push farther than I have without seeing anything coming my direction or not. We've texted a little, even though I hate texting generally, so I know she has my number and could text me, and she can come up to me after church any time, but this has seemingly been an I initiate it or it doesn't happen thing.

When my friends were at Church she would come up and talk with us in a way that seemingly was showing me attention, always next to me or directly across from me, laughing and touching me when she was next to me, having me hold things for her when she needed to get something from her bag, etc. But now that my friends are leaving with school ending I'm mostly standing around like a loner waiting to help take things down when coffee hour is over.

I can do social things when the ball is rolling, so things felt pretty good around Pascha when we saw more of each other, but when I only see people weekly or more infrequently its really hard to start up conversation, so I can't start talking to her easily and asking her to go somewhere with me feels impossible.

Basically ever week I see her once and I think up to it, decide to ask her out, and then watch her walk away, with the once exception mentioned above. Then I just ruminate on it all, hate myself, and fall back into the cycle and think of next week

Being myself isn't working, I take showers, I already know the best language God ever created and I'm not learning an instrument. I want to find some resources or something with substance to help me, but all I ever seem to get is liberal shit advice or edgy pseudo-trad nonsense.

I almost feel like giving up but I really want a family and I don't really feel called to monasticism at all.

tfw no gf

>>656504

Good job but she's right. Oral isn't actual sex cause its not procreative.

>>656558

>anal isnt sex because it's not procreative

>wearing a condom makes it not sex too

Nah, any penetration is sex.

>>656557

How long has it been since you last offered to hang out? Tbh I'd say she's not interested, but if it's been a while you could ask one more time. Generally I find if a girl is interested and can't come to something I offer, she'll say "I'm realy sorry I can't, but when I'm free we can". Even if she's one that likes to be pursued, she will make sure you know she's interested.

>>656559

I'm trying to plot this all out in my head and I think I might have gone out with her three weeks ago and texted her once each of the first two weeks after that, not texting her last week. In response to the first text she said she would want to hang out, but couldn't because she was babysitting her sisters baby, which is either is keeping her pretty busy or can be used as an excuse for being busy whenever she wants. Church just passed so I won't see her again for a week probably and if I did text her I'm not really sure what to go for. I really want something solid, even if its a solid rejection, but it seems like I might not get that without pushing pretty hard, but she also could be wanting a harder push. I know I should just ask her to do something when I see her at church, but I feel completely uncomfortable talking about stuff like this at church

>>653645

Have you considered seeing a Christian therapist? Are you following the advice and getting /fit/? What are you doing to improve your station outside of feeling self-pity?

>>656557

Brother, I feel for you. I dont think in your case I can offer any other advice than this: ask her out and confess your feelings, she will either reciprocate or deny. Either way it will help you move forward with your life.

I took this advice myself a couple months ago; it didn't work out however it helped me move forward with my life.

>>656707

I really want to, and while I would rather she like me also I feel like being turned down would be an improvement from where I'm at, at least I could know she wasn't just waiting for me to ask. I don't feel comfortable saying this stuff at church, so somehow or another I need to get her somewhere else. Coffee seems the easiest but I would much rather go on a walk somewhere in nature or something

>>656710

So, just from my own life experience, I advise you do confront your feelings with her. Of course, pray about it first, and ask God to strengthen your resolve. You need to know, by not knowing you are spinning your wheels in an unhealthy manner, making you more neurotic, worried, and obsessed.

I suggest you follow through and do something like a walk outside, in a public area like a park or a city square. Speak plainly and let yourself be known to her. Should it not work out, you will feel an immediate sadness and grief, however it will pass and you will expand yourself to new horizons. On the other hand, it may work out in to a joyous Godly union. I pray for you brother.

>>656712

Thanks

Unmarried Christians engaging in any activity that activates their carnal desires are engaging in mortal sin.

One of the critical techniques people apply today to build a good bond is something called "kino". On the early dates, you have to continuously touch the woman. Get her used to your touch and reminded of what kind of time you are and will be spending together.

How do Christians date one another in this day and age when even kino is forbidden?

>>656562

So I went on 3 not-dates once with this girl I used to know, realized I wasn't clear, and texted her after one saying "How about we go on real date next time" and she said "I'd actually really like that." There was little-to-no indication she was interested (the girl I just went on a date with yesterday had little-to-no indication as well). You have to try to get in a confident mindset to where you're not worried about what you'll say or what the outcome will be- don't be married to the outcome. Then you won't worry so much about how what you say is taken because you're open to either having it go your way or not, thus you'll be more bold in your word choice and interactions. Text her and say just what I said- "Hey ___, how about we go on a real date" or some such. Maybe do this even in-person after a sort of "high note" interaction, in which you're both enjoying each other's company laughing or something. Or you can text her later on a Sunday when you guys interact a little. If it is a positive, good interaction, when you text her later, she'll think back to the warm time you had, and might be totally down.

>>656478

tfw when I was 12ish over seven years ago I let another male my age suck my penis. Obviously I was an amoral retard. I can't live this down and I hate it. God, why did I do that? At least I stopped before I finished because I felt it was wrong. I feel like a degenerate all the time because of this. winnie the pooh, I feel like a hypocrite for only wanting a virgin wife but the statistics are way worse for non-virgin women vs men.

JUST winnie the pooh MY SHIT UP

>>657467

We accept your confession, brother. Repent and let the Lord give you the peace your heart needs to find someone good for you. Just don't bring it up to your potential mate unless she asks.

>>657251

May the Lord bless and grant you both many more! Both are good name choices.

>>657544

I joked with my fiancee that we should name one Melchizedek and name him Mel for short. She actually liked the idea, but I secretly would want to do so to remember Mel Gibson.

>>657606

Does she have family? Introduce yourself. If you're planning on marrying her, you'll have to get familiar with the whole tin of sardines. Don't introduce yourself just to her, either- greet the whole family.

The problem with maintaining conversations is that it has to be reactive on your end, so general "what's your hair color lol" questions aren't going to cut it. If you pay attention to what she says and ask questions, you won't need to worry about keeping a conversation going; she'll do it herself.

>>657467

I can relate to a certain extent, but not that bad

I used to watch porn daily throughout my teens and I still occasionally think about it (although I try not to) and it makes me feel like a hypocrite for wanting a virgin wife as well

Luckily I've never had sex but I also feel like a hypocrite because I've never had the opportunity to have sex which might make it unfair for her who may have had the opportunity but refused because of her morals

>>657251

Congrats!

>>657554

> I secretly would want to do so to remember Mel Gibson.

Good lad!

What's the best way to break up with a christian girl? The relationship I'm in clearly isn't work and I know for a fact I won't be marrying this woman.

>>657976

My guess would be the same way to break up with any type of girl

>>657976

Speak for yourself about how you feel things aren't working out for you guys, don't make statements about God's will as you can't be sure what it is

>>657976

Why? Unless its something that's truly irreconcilable, periods of strife are common in all relationships. Talk to her about whatever it is that is pushing you away. If you're just trying to monkey branch away, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of regret.

>>657634

I'll be praying for you, friend.

Hey guys. I'm really working towards a loving Christian marriage, but things are difficult and lonely at times. Would you folks pray for me?

How do I overcome the urge to install tinder to winnie the pooh sluts?

I can't help but think how easy it would be for me to winnie the pooh girls with this app.

It's hard to just tell myself "this is sinful don't do it".

>>658622

>to winnie the pooh sluts?

Lel, nice. Yes I'm a newfag.

>>658622

Your emotions are not divorced from reason.

Reason and emotion are two horses of the same carriage. If you practice a certain lifestyle, forcefully at the beginning, your emotions will surely follow.

Have discipline, hold to what you know is true and don't worry.

>>658001

I'll be sure to do that if it comes to it.

>>658064

>truly irreconcilable

I'm beginning to think it is, but let me present my grievances so you can better understand my position. In no particular order: We are not of the same denomination, which she brings up with relative frequency, she doesn't want to move (nor have I seriously asked her to) but my job will require me to relocate, she's extremely judgemental to the point that she has thus far refused to entertain meeting my friends because of things I told her we used to get up to, and she is a young earth creationist while I believe in old earth evolution and she refused to listen to even an explanation of C14 dating (a vital component of my field of study as well).

Know that I am working with her, we've had many long discussions, but I think those are actually hurting more than helping as she is revealing new depths to these positions she holds.

>>658073

I'm in the same boat as you- you got it.

>>658622

>how easy it would be for me to winnie the pooh girls with this app.

Untrue unless you're a Chad. If you are average or just "yourself" you will not succeed on Tinder and your "success" will have a cap. You'll get harshly judged if you've got no sort of "selling point" in your pictures and eventually you'll get nothing but a bruised ego.

The numbers game is bad enough in real life but it is much more severe on tinder. Besides the fact that girls rack up matches easily and will have multiple conversations guaranteed, there's so many barriers so your chances are naturally lower than if you just met a girl IRL and asked for her number:

>algorithm affects when you get seen, if at all

>algorithm favors those at the top or you have to be a willing skinner box participant to get it working in your favor

>no absolute way of knowing who swiped you which increases your chance of "missing" someone

>most girls don't reply even if you match

>some won't give you their number

>a lot will be hard to get out on a date

>very, very few will make the time and come out with you

>less so with a second, third interaction

>not accounting for girls you actually would be interested in or girls of quality

All these things are underpinned by the fact that they can get what they want (what society convinces them a real man is, etc) at any given time, adding a lot of pressure to you. They're aware of this and will brush you off to "play the field". There's no glory to be had in succeeding at it or grinding to try and succeed at it, in the same way if you win the special olympics you're still "special". You'd be better off meeting women IRL- you'll go further.

Great news lads, I happened to meet a cute Christian girl at a (heathen) friends birthday gathering last week. I asked her out for a coffee a few days later but she declined.

Still pretty stoked that I actually tried though. First girl I've actually tried asking out (I've always been approached by girls in the past, none of which were Christian so I'd always decline) and although she said no I've been riding a confidence boost ever since because i know I can actually do it now and it doesn't seem so scary once you actually ask.

>>658705

did you tell her that your NO FAP?

Tfw went on a date with a qt who is most likely not christian but comes from the same culture as me. Gonna just try to make her begome tbh.

>>658073

Done. I pray for everyone's success. I did so when you first posted it, but I didn't want to burn a post just acknowledging you.

>>658622

I've given you 4 options for dating sites that have a good chance of providing you with a more long term solution and won't cost you your standing before the Lord. No amount of anonymous social pressure will change your mind. If you can't clearly understand the risks you subject to yourself by willing tossing yourself into a fire, you deserve everything that happens and we won't feel bad.

>>658676

To be fair, my relationship has a lot of the same trials that yours seems to have. I can't tell you what to do, but I can ask that you reflect on just how important you are making some of these issues to be. Its understandable to be frustrated by her lack of submission, just contrast it against your apparent desire for control.

I am distancing myself from protestantism, but am not forcing my fiancee to do so either. I chose to move closer to her and her family, because the commute is worth her having familial support in general and Lord willing shared child rearing duties. She's YEC and her whole family is, but as a corollary to the denomination, we agree to disagree. I have lost contact with my friends, granted, but if they are truly your friends they will honor your commitment to your wife, as I hope you would for them. Have a guy's night biweekly/monthly? You aren't a bad person for being principled, but don't let them tempt you into making an ego fueled decision that can harden you to future relationships. Think about how long you have been with this woman, and realize that you may not have time to develop such a relationship again while still being able to enjoy your mutual youth.

>>658705

Maybe you can try asking her again? Some girls see persistence as sincerity in terms of courtship, especially if she's as much as a believer as you say. You're on your way my friend. Put your trust in the Lord and continue to grow in Him. Just know that when you do get a yes, she still might not be the one for you. But don't let that stop you from being cordial and courting her, as the experience will definitely help you be comfortable when you find the one you will share a lot more with. That's when you'll thank God for His faith and ever present ear to our troubles.

>>658742

>winnie speak

Cursing on a Christian board doesn't make you any more sympathetic.

>blogpost

Take a deep breath. She just won't see you before church. I would advise you against drinking so much, she may have been more receptive if you had offered dinner, walking in a park, etc. She may be feeling silly that she threw herself on you and you didn't have sex with her like she wanted, but the drinking may have caused the temptation on both your parts. She obviously likes you, especially since you didn't make it a one night thing, don't lose sight of what might be a great thing just because you're trying to get laid. The less alcohol becomes the focus of your future interactions, the better your chances will be. Jesus loved you before you loved alcohol. I'll be praying for you too.

>>658767

> I must sound pathetic.

You do not. I think you're doing fine. Just don't over analyze things. She stayed at your place, agreed to go out. Why would you think the chances are over?

Save that for 'never has time for you but goes out with friends' scenario and just calm down. That's the best thing one can do anyway no matter what the situation is. Simplicity is the key. Over thinking fries your brain and makes you discouraged

Nice seeing everyone being proactive and taking action. I can't speak for myself though because I'm making money first. I want to have a one-and-done deal when it comes to dating- if I meet someone ready I would like it to be able to happen with minimal friction and as soon as it can.

>>658767

Okay anon, let's look at the facts here:

>call her quickly after getting her number

>she (assuming it was done playfully) asks why you called her instead of getting weird about it

>she convinces you to leave with her

>you ask her out

>you get a yes (with a

>she informs you she's available

>you weren't available at the time

>time mismatch, can't meet :(

>you'll definitely see her sunday

You call fast, you get drunk (risky move since you lose your control), you take her to your parents house… Not-so-ideal moves you'd get punished for in other situations, yet you're clearly still in the running here. If you've made it this far while being "off" here and there- then you have zero reason to stress because she likes you enough to see what else there is to you regardless of any behaviors you've shown. You can be confident she's subtly giving you some breathing room if things don't go perfectly first time round. Additionally, she could have put effort in to free up that hour- you're just not aware of that level of detail of her life yet.

>>658742

I'm not a relationship guru but something telles me a whore who is trying to have pre marital sex with you isn't a good match and you're letting your emotions over ride your brain but maybe I am the dumb one.

>>658811

>calling a sister in Christ a whore based on nothing but an assumption

Matthew 5:21-22, seriously

>>658794

>>658806

Thanks lads, I really appreciate the time you spend writing all of this. The fact that I'm freaking out tells a lot about me, I have zero experience with women, I'm not satisfied with my lifestyle these days, not confident enough etc.

Things look so much simpler with other people, like I'm the only one who's struggling (I know that's not true though). I'm glad I'm going through this though, because it just makes me stronger and more ready for next opportunities.

I guess I'll see where things go with that girl, and not try to rush anything.

>>658811

I was the one trying to get physical with her and failed so far, so I wouldn't say she was trying to have sex with me. I've mostly been thinking she was toying with me for fun, but I think that's wrong too.

>>658837

No problem. Since you mention you've got no experience with women, you're concerned with confidence, and how other people seem to have it easy, I'll give you something to think about:

99% of girls you end up with are the ones that naturally like you in the first place. You will very rarely end up with a girl that you won over with "skill" , specific behaviors or lines. If a girl likes you she will allow errors and mistakes (within reason, but you'd be surprised how much they will actually tolerate).

I've (pre-conversion) done 8+ hours a night at nightclubs weeks on end, gone as low as making alt accounts on a place where girls would look for people to talk to, made tons of posts there, hit an all time low by venturing to discοrd, but it's always been the exact same story- no matter how you may feel about yourself, some girls just like you, some just don't. Realizing that you'll be fated to "succeed" a bunch of interactions is a very freeing belief. You'll be a lot calmer and more confident.

So if you follow this line of thought, if a girl likes you and you can sense "it's on", you can't lose. You just push things forward as efficiently as possible while remaining aware of where she's at, and it'll feel easy and natural to do it. And if she doesn't, you don't stress yourself with "escaping the friendzone" but rather just move on and let the next "fated" encounter happen.

Since you held hands, she's shown not-so-subtle signs of interest, and you've played along well enough, I'm leaning to believe it's a good situation but you need to really focus on making her feel understood and valued, pacing your physical stuff. I'll keep you and her in my prayers.

>>653399

>>654070

>>654144

On this topic, the girl who brought me to Christ (and will in time be my wife) is Asian. She's wonderful, very traditional, and I'm obviously indebted to her. I don't know why people here would have a problem with this. If she believes in and follows Christ, she's wife material. Being white is an unsupportable, entirely artificial prerequisite for dating.

>>658931

yellow fever cuck gross

>>658837

why are you on christian if you are trying to have sex before marriage, i am so confused by you people

>>656557

Please do not follow what anon’s have told you. Most beta thing a man can do is confess his feelings. What you need to do is ignore her for awhile and have her wondering what is going on with you, this will also give her time to forget about what you guys did. Right now you need to focus on yourself by getting to the gym, following a prayer rule, following a purpose. I would highly recommend you read ‘The way of the superior man’ by David deida, this book is going to go over everything you have done wrong and help you with the next time you interact with another girl. Don’t get yourself down, God has a plan for you. This advice is nothing but love from a fellow Christian.

>>658962

in addition i would recommend the r/redpill, r/marriedredpill sidebars (use your discretion of course). also:

https://dalrock.wordpress.com/

https://www.tke.org/files/file/The_48_Laws_of_Power.pdf

https://bluepillprofessor.wordpress.com/2015/05/22/hello-world/

http://masculineprinciple.blogspot.com/

>>658931

>anecdotal evidence

>ignoring relationship science

>ignoring the conversation

Its not that we have a problem with it, its that we just don't care. You're the one with enough of an insecurity to share information that wasn't asked for in order to justify the unease your cognitive dissonance induced upon reading the OP and the discussion therein. Don't say you weren't warned.

>>658956

>I'm going to try not to rush things

>admits lusts and will take steps against it

<Christians are sinners? I'M CONFUS!

How do you remember to breathe?

>>658742

>>658767

>>658837

I'm happy you've repented. Pray, breathe, and have faith that the Lord can fix any mistake you think you've made. Invite her to lunch/coffee after mass, don't mention drinks. You're gonna make it brah.

>>658991

I am just perplexed apperantly according to your story you got drunk and went home and tried to have sex with a girl you just met but then you post on /christian/ which just seems kind of contradictory.Seems very unchristian but whatever

You know, it's funny how emotions go. A month ago I was head over heels for a girl, thought it was a done deal, then I found out she went for another guy. The thing is, I feel nothing for her anymore. It's just funny to me how easily I went from being in love to not caring at all.

I really can't help but think we all take women and relationships too seriously, I seriously feel like most of them deserve 0 respect. Talking to them normally doesn't work, so all in all now that I've lost respect for them they'll probably want me more.

>>658995

Maybe theyll get a sense they need to earn your respect but >>658851 is the truest post on thus thread. I have gone on many dates, interacted with many women in general. It is 100% true that they'll either like you or not. I have gotten away with MURDER with what I have said or done with women who liked it (mistakes-wise) and failed utterly with girls who I tried hard and careful for.

Anyway I have my own thing. Girl (Asian) likes me a lot. Shes cute and we had an awesome date but I just dont know, brothers. I dont want to monkey branch but I really cant tell if I dig her. Wouldnt it be plain and clear, obvious? Im sitting at 51/49 yes/no but that doesn't seem fair to her

>>658991

I'm not ignoring the conversation, I've been lightly lurking this thread for the weeks it's been around. The entire time, I've seen this general negativity towards mixing races or being mixed race, which I just don't see it as a problem, including scripturally.

My anecdotal account is evidence as long as you two understand your racial differences, are Christian, and love each other, then there isn't a problem. It's certainly the case that, in general, people of the same race will get along better - I won't deny that. I'm just presenting The cognitive dissonance comes from expecting this board to not really care so much about this kind of stuff. Our only important identity, in my opinion, is our faith in Christ.

Idk, maybe there's been a lot of "yellow fever" posters that have gotten obnoxious in the previous threads that I just haven't seen, and I'm just overreacting to the title. I just wasn't liking what I was reading.

>>659002

The thing is, those girls seemed to like me, they laughed, we had fun. The last girl I talked about hit on me for months. But then, some guy comes in and says an equivalent of 'me like your face' and they just leave me in the dust.

>Girl (Asian) likes me a lot.

Man, I wish there were Asian girls in my country. I've been talking to them over the internet and they're very easy to talk to, some even use google translate to talk to me. Compare that to the local girls who won't even respond for 3 days. I'm seriously considering moving to Asia in a year or two.

>>658992

You're talking to the wrong christanon, I'm the one who posted this >>658742

As >>658991 said, I'm just a sinner, it doesn't mean I'm not christian or that I can't post here.

I was trying to see how she reacted to my approach. Imo the girl should be the one who accepts or rejects the initiative of the man. Maybe that's a twisted view, but one of my catholic friend has been dating chicks that wanted to have sex with him really bad, and he just said "not before marriage" and kept dating them (to eventually break up later). If I were as determined as him on the "not before marriage" thing, that would be a huge red flag for me. But he kept dating them because he's ok with being the one who refuses sex. That feels just wrong to me.

As I'm writing this I realize the girl I was talking about reacted the right way by trying to put some distance between us.

Dating catholic girls is a strange and stressful game, but damn it I'm willing to play it.

>>659029

>dating Catholic girls is strange and stressful

Amen. Just WATCH OUT for the """Catholic""" girls

>>659044

In my experience, they're just as bad as non religious girls. In fact, I think they're worse because they give you the illusion they're good.

>>658741

>I can ask that you reflect on just how important you are making some of these issues to be

Thank you, I'll certainly do as much!

I have gone on two dates with a wonderful Christian girl. I have actively avoided trying to appear attractive as while being genuine and she's still there. In my life before Christ I was heavily given to lust, and through Christ I'm most certainly walking a better path now. On these dates, I've felt a near constant aching of my loins and I leak pre-come, but I do not want to act on these urges. I know from experience that any relationship founded on lust will deteriorate, and I know that acting on these urges or making their satiation a goal is not in God's light. My goal in this endeavor is to find a wife with whom I could raise a family to the best of my ability.

TLDR: I've gone on dates and I have the bluest balls I've ever experienced.

>>653433

I suffer too of this problem (Hispanic: A weird African, Mongol, Euro mix) and am the son of immigrants in a place where no one looks like me in the slightest. I actually want an east or south Asian (not Indian) women because they're the closest thing of what I look like in the male version.

Reminder that make up and other female cosmetic products are degenerate and a sign of insecurity, the more make up they put on their faces the worst they will be. Regards, fellow Christ-bros.

>>659137

Male arousal and climax is a function of blood pressure. Learn to breathe deeply when you feel these urges come on. Cardio will help reduce your blood pressure overall, as well and also develop the lung capacity and efficiency to help you breathe deeper and slower. Cut a plastic straw and practice taking complete breaths as slow as your body will let you. This sounds silly until you see it working. Best of luck.

>>659029

>its weird for men to deny sex before marriage

You're losing points. Don't be naive enough to think that women don't also have sexual desires Mr. "she was in my bed drunk on our first meeting and I didn't make a move". Don't be a hypocrite, learn to delay gratification for the glory of God, you winnie millenial.

>>658837

Yeah. I see. Tbh I used to be the same. Very nervous around girls - always, not confident enough to ask a girl out personally - always using texting. I've worked on it for some time now and gained some confidence. Sometimes I feel out of confidence when the girl is very pretty however. Others always look 'confident' until you get to know them. Most guys are as shy…you just do not see it.

My experience:

I have went on quite a few dates with a girl that I really like. Merely seeing her for the first time gave me shivering - not kidding..literally shivering. I vowed to go ahead and ask her out…personally and to talk to her only when going out with her. I did just that. We connected a lot. Tbh I have never felt so great. It did not end up well but it gave me a lot of confidence in myself as a man. Also it proved to me that I can find a suitable woman out there if I keep the momentum I started. I was very nervous, trust me but I went ahead anyway not caring about rejection, considering the rejection to be an act of repentance for my sins. Long story short - I would not have made this 6 months ago. . I would not have the guts. I would text her online, etc instead of asking her out.

I am just an average guy. I work on self-improvement a lot and I see it changed me for better so I just do it for my future wife, and for Christ in hope to become a good father one day.

Lifting weights + no fap + daily prayer + reading scripture + your other hobbies is a must I'd say.

>>659065

>>659044

This.

How many children should I be aiming for, and when should I start having them anons?

>>659171

They are also poisonous.

Just look at how pooh'd the skin of a girl who always wears foundation gets.

>>659269

As many as God gives you and whenever you're responsible and mature for a person in your position.

Contraceptives, yay or nay?

>>659317

>>But don't want to be hurt

You're going to suffer, Christian or not, in a relationship or not. If you don't want to be hurt, it's too late to make a serious decision regarding that. Any true intimacy only comes after one party has made themselves vulnerable. Christ made himself vulnerable first and forever. Do the same.

>>659205

>considering the rejection to be an act of repentance for my sins.

That's actually a pretty good idea, I should try to have that mindset too. Congrats on the progress you made.

Currently lifting weights, praying several times a week, learning to play the guitar, struggling with no fap.

But I would say my biggest issue is my lack of social circle. I'm not meeting enough people, and I don't have people to go out with every single week. I'm working on this as well but it sure ain't easy.

>>659586

I know that I have to do my part. Be active,approach her, ask her out…that's my duty as the man. God has a plan for me for sure. But me doing the thing is a part of it. Each rejection is a lesson and an act of repentance. This helps me to go on.

Sounds like you're on a great path. I bought the first icon when I was struggling with nofap. Tbh you feel pretty bad when you sin in front of image of God. That, prayer and regular confession broke the spell for me.

Yeah. the social circle is an issue for me too. I definitely need to be more outgoing and meet new people.

>>659024

From what I've gathered there are two primary reasons as to why race-mixing is bad in general: social ostracization of the resulting child and the destruction of racial identityplease bear with me here I am not good with words.

Mixed race folk don't really have a racial identity to anchor to. They don't "belong" to a specific racial group, and this can be really detrimental without proper parenting.

Consider every unique culture. What makes Europeans so unique? What makes Asians so unique? What makes Latinos so unique? All of these cultures are different, and to mix them is to destroy them. This is what people mean when they say race-mixing destroys their identity.

Yellow fever posters tend to derail threads by constantly asserting the superiority of Asian women thereby plunging the thread into

more race-talk than relationship advice.

>>659142

As >>654040 said remember that you have an identity in Christ to hold onto. Good luck

>>659315

Nay. The purpose of sex is procreation and to reap sexual pleasure without intending to create a child is sinful.

>>653464

I know I shouldn't but "Confucius say…"

>>659142

Lord willing you can be a missionary to such an area? I'll help you pray for that.

I love the honest discussion ladies/gents, I'm happy the more silent of us is genuinely feeling able to open up.

I've got a question for you christanons.

I am surrounded by non-religious people, so it's hard for me to get an idea of how a relationship between a man and a woman should go before marriage. I understand fornication is forbidden, but what about the rest?

A friend of mine once told me (that one is catholic) that at his home, you would never bring someone over until they are your fiancee. Like his parents don't want to hear about any gf/bf, but once it's a fiancee he/she is part of the family. I think I agree with that, but what about friends?

How do I introduce a girl that I date to my friends, who all have sex with their gf/bf? Do I call her my gf as well? If yes at what point? Things are so much simpler among non-believer, they just f*ck someone and form a couple afterwards. I know this is wrong and I don't want to do this though. But what are the boundaries of a relationship before marriage?

God bless you all.

>>660383

Not being slaved by your sexual desires is very much encouraged in the Christian faith.

The thing is not denying your passions, but freeing yourself from them.

However, God is not autistic so there is no law for every single male to female interaction. Some things are clearly wrong such as sex outside marriage, but some things are up to the discretion of the couple.

The rule of thumb I came up with for myself is I don't do anything to my gf I wouldn't like my wife to have done with a previous bf. For me, kissing is off charts but I understand some might be fine with it. However, keeping that rule of thumb keeps me from being a hypocrite and falling under prelest.

>How do I introduce a girl that I date to my friends, who all have sex with their gf/bf? Do I call her my gf as well? If yes at what point?

Worrying about such minor details will wear you down and weaken you when you have to worry about big things. Be calm and be aware there will never ever be a perfect moment to do anything.

It is difficult to keep perfectionism at bay, and I know it is very vague, but if you force yourself to do it a few times through logic and will, your emotions will surely follow. So start doing what you must even if you know it might be slightly awkward.

Emotions aren't divorced from reason and will, as the enlightenment tells us.

A conflict in emotions means you have the opportunity to shape them to your will. That's a good thing.

I need some guidance, please fellow christanons.

I've been talking to this girl, she's smart and interesting and we have very similar, traditional and conservative beliefs and goals in life (which I thought was near impossible to find). But there's one big issue I'm not sure if I can get over. Before she started on her journey towards God, she had a physical relationship with someone else, she knows her mistake now and asked for Gods forgiveness so whatever, I can forgive that. But she still lives with him and they remain good friends, I'm not sure if I can live with that.

>>660856

The only way it will work is if she moves back with her parents/family during your courtship. He careful that and isn't just agreeing with you, stroking your "Capt save-a-whore" ego, in order to relieve herself of her current situation. I find it pretty hard to believe that she can be so conservative whilst being so obviously degenerate. If she refuses to move on with family or asks to rather move in with you, then my hypothesis holds weight. Don't let your loneliness distance you from God's love. I'll pray for you.

>>660383

Christianity isn't a social choice, it's a personal one. Distance yourself to the heathen in all ways and whatever relationship you may have will flourish with honest conversation and wholesome courtship. Go roller skating, walk in a park, read the Bible together, use that God given brain doofus.

>>660873

Thank you for the response and the prayers. She did say she was moving out when her lease expires without any proding from me. They were friends for a long time before they tried dating and will probably stay friends for a long time. I couldnt be friends with the guy that porked my wife before i met her, but I cant stop her from staying friends. Only trust that she will make the right decisions in the future.

>>660856

Nope, run. How can she claim to have repented of that if she still lives with him? How could I have truly repented of sexual deviation if I still kept a big box of related items in my room?

It sounds like (not knowing anyone involved, just going by your post) at best the situation is she doesnt regret anything or want you enough to actually distance herself from her past to have it/you. At worst, you're the beta provider and some type of backup plan for her.

Anon, as someone who left a relationship of years because she wouldn't leave her (((((((degenerate)))))) friends behind for us to marry and start a family, this sounds like a VERY bad situation. If you're serious about your faith and about finding a solidly based marriage, you can do better than this. Its not even her having slept with someone else (unfortunately thats VERY normal now), its that SHES STILL LIVING WITH HIM.

Moving to a new city and leaving everyone I know behind.

I plan to spend more time at the new church and I'll probably set up a catholicmatch account. Do christian girls care if you have literally no social circle?

>>661150

Hear the advice of someone who winnie the poohed up:

Friends and acquaintances won't magically come to you. If you don't actively seek a social circle, you won't find it. You NEED to put yourself out there, get involved in associations or whatever, join a sport club etc. For long I believed you could just make friends on your way without any extra effort, but guess what that's wrong. You may have been given the illusion that a social circle is found easily, but even if you have one it eventually fades and dissapears if you do nothing. That's what happened to me at least, I took it for granted and only focused on work/personal stuff, and lost my social circle. When I first moved to a new city, it was on a campus and nobody knew anyone so things were easy. When I had to do it again in a different context I failed miserably.

Don't be like me, making contacts should be your n1 priority. Girls only come after. If you get to meet a lot of people you won't need to use some meme dating website, and I don't think girls would be very attracted by a guy who doesn't know anybody and spends his evenings alone in his room.

>>661316

What exactly is the issue - confidence to start a conversation, hold the conversation with a girl?

If that's the case - improving your 'small talk' skills could suffice.

Anons help me with something.

I am having a crisis of faith here.

I was raised as Christian and always tried to be a good honourable man.

I am not bad looking, have some money, never went to a prostitution house, don't go to parties, don't get drunk, never smoked, etc…

I keep getting dumped… I get dumped over and over again, had women swear eternal loyalty, have sex (not fornication) with me, dump me anyway.

Some of them were clear about why: They concluded they want just winnie the pooh friends, that having to be commited and meet someone standards is a turnoff. Had great relationships turn sour as soon I asked them to become girlfriend or anything more commited.

The churches I tried to go also same sort of stuff going on, pastors divorced multiple times, some of them cheated upon, etc…

I am seriously questioning if it is worth it, I am concluding only way to have children right now is to ignore christian morality, and just treat women the way they want to be treated: as objects to winnie the pooh and discard.

I felt this many times over the past few years, but every time I would be patient, find a interesting woman and think was good I kept on the straight path but… I am old now, still do not have kids. Women hit on me… but want to be only winnie the pooh friends and so on. I am too old to keep waiting.

>>661511

this has to be a funpost

>>661518

No not really.

Even… clarifying the sex incident:

woman when dumping me, explained she lied, that all her vows meant nothing to her, she always saw me as a hot guy to be her sex friend, and she only made all vows to make me have sex with her.

I used to think she had robbed me of my virginity but…

Sex with her was actually fun. And trying to wait again never worked, meanwhile my non-christian friends have all sex, intimacy and whatnot they want, and they are clearly happier.

>>661544

>they are happier

Because they are making absolutely 0 sacrifices. Who cares if they'er happier if what they're doing is wrong? Also, what you did WAS fornication even if you liked her genuinely, unless you're implying you guys actually got married or something and she bailed but I doubt that… What your friends are doing is of the world, don't let their lifestyles fool you. Satan, quite literally, has them by the balls. I'll pray for you and them, please pray for me too. But you have to completely cut out this pseudo-Christianity you're living, in that you won't commit full measure. The Christian way is no sex until marriage PERIOD. This means ONLY kissing and hugging, at most. Some don't even think that's okay (to taste).

>>661574

This is what I meant.

When she was dumping me she explained she never considered herself my wife, that she pretended to be so only to get sex.

>>661511

>>661544

>>661601

Prognosis:

(((PLEBBIT)))

(((SPACING)))

Make crap up elsewhere

>>661624

>Prognosis:

Thanks for the help.

Other christians I talked to, had simialr reactions.

Non-christians I talked to, said I was being naive, that everyone have sex outside marriage and I was being silly in not doing the same, and praised my decision.

I was hoping someone here would explain to me what to do, or give me a good reason to stay strong in my faith when I couldn't have faith by myself anymore.

^That post

Why are we getting bots in this silly thread of mine? Are jews really that threatened by normal Christian relationships? There's only like 400 of us here!

>>661709

You may be a troll, but I will say this (or perhaps it's Asaph that is saying it) Psalm 73: Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

2 But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

3 For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.

5 They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.

6 Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.

7 Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.

8 They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.

9 They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.

10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.

11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?

12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

15 If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.

18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.

19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.

20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.

22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.

23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.

24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.

28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.

Take heart, and take inspiration from those words. God will not abandon you, he will always support you, even when you have crises of faith.

I'm at a constant dilemma

>kinda want to meet girls

>to meet girls you need to meet people

>I like being alone so much that I don't want to meet new people

I'm constantly fluctuating between totally comfortable and happy being alone and listening to chillhop while fooling around on the internet and wanting to have a relationship. I have no idea what to do.

>>661709

I dont understand, she promised you to marry you "eventually"? Thats a very dangerous game to play as you have seen, my friend. I want to clarify though from my previous post: you do not need to be perfect to be Christian, and failing does not mean youre no longer Christian. God loves you, pick yourself back up and realize your mistake, which is rooted in naivete more than anything malicious. Also if youre ESL I apologize if you dont get any of this, I can re-type it in a different way

>>661544

>my non-christian friends have all sex, intimacy and whatnot they want, and they are clearly happier

Human happyness, yes.

Who will be happy at judgment?

>>662137

Not only that but even on Earth there is a higher happiness He intends for us if we wait until marriage. The full romance and beauty of your first time being with your waifu, when two become one flesh. This notion alone wasnt too rare even to the less religious but nowadays we're well aware of how different that is.

>>662137

You think people will go to hell for doing that? I highly doubt it. Most people feel 0 consequences of promiscuity.

>>662146

Read your bible, it answers your question many different times

>>662165

It also mentions forgivness of sin just as many times. If God forgives you for swearing or skipping mass, why wouldn't promiscuity be forgiven? People have fun for 15 years, jump from one person to another, get married, go to mass, have kids, go to heaven.

>>662170

Active or unrepentant fornicators will not inherit the Kingdom of God, although I pray God has mercy on all of us sinners.

Just to name a few:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

1 Corinthians 5:11

Galatians 5:19-21

Ephesians 5:5

Hebrews 13:4

Hebrews 12:16-17

Sleeping around just because you think you'll be forgiven anyway is a complete lack of respect towards God, the sacrifice He made for us, and what you are supposed to be and act like as a Christian. You don't only defile yourself by doing this but you're taking others down with you as well, which makes it even worse.

Please don't be a lukewarm Christian.

Revelation 3:15-16

>>662189

Of course they'll repent if their behavior brings consequences. Or when they face death. And they still go to heaven because that repentance is sincere. Btw I'm almost 27 and I've barely touched a woman in my life, let alone had sex. For most people, fornicating in their younger years brings 0 consequences.

>>662198

But we know the truth, it brings the loss of salvation.

>>662232

>>662198

The consequence is that its a sin, period. Not only that, they are denied the full beauty and joy of purity until marriage, which they cant even grasp a single hair of. Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

>>662232

> but in all cases, the woman bears the full cost of the sin and the man pays only money

Canonwise(for apostolics), both bear the sin.

>>662265

Joy? What joy? Of being frustrated and asking yourself is anything wrong with you? Questioning your manhood, girls finding you weird? There's nothing joyous about living through the most potent years of your life with 0 physical intimacy.

>>662266

Canonwise, they all go to confession and clean the slate.

>>662266

Yes, I'm aware

>>662267

>Joy? What joy?

How can you say there is no joy in fleeing from sin, being the true human God intended you to be, realizing the Kingdom of God here on earth bit by bit, and by keeping yourself pure and treating your body like the Temple it is? Everything we do is supposed to glorify God, which is the most joyous thing there is.

>Of being frustrated and asking yourself is anything wrong with you? Questioning your manhood, girls finding you weird?

Christians are not supposed to be of this world. Christ told us we would be hated and persecuted. It was never supposed to be easy. Truly the time has come where the mad are calling the ones who are not mad, mad.

>>662272

The things I described overwrite the 'joy of avoiding sin'

>Christians are not supposed to be of this world

So what, we were put here to suffer and not to experience happiness?

>>662272

You know, rationally, the sin of fornication is only a sin because it fills the world with orphans and sets man and woman against one another, as we have witnessed with modern feminism. Nevertheless, as I said, other loving acts are not fornication, they don't even meet the definition, which requires actual sex.

>>662282

What, kissing? You cant touch them tatas, kid.

>>662280

Lol quit complaining. Marry a young girl asap if you want to explode in that sweet youthful jelly roll. I understand completely where youre coming from, I have a similar desire, but we need to conform our ways to His and not vice versa.

>>662285

I'm not asking your permission to touch any tatas, I just expressed my opinion that everything up to and including 3rd base was acceptable between two committed people.

>>662285

>Marry a young girl asap

I can't, they find me weird because I've never had sex. And my overall lack of experience makes it impossible too.

>>662291

I think it is pretty obviously people here takl about good people, not those prostitutes

>>662293

Those 'prostitues' are the overwhelming majority of females. Let's be real here, you know full well a man has better chance of marrying if he acts non christian-like towards women. Let's stop pretending there's this big pool of 'christian' women, that pool is miniscule and practically non existent.

>>662291

How old are you that this is a problem?

>>662340

I think you are readng it wrong bud. Your wife that you found is the favor from the LORD.

>>662337

Almost 27. Believe me, the girls smell it on you, the smell something's not right.

>>662392

Doubt it, you're probably just acting inappropriately or awkwardly and blaming it on being a virgin, instead of just taking responsibility and working on your problem.

Either way, if you're passionate about your faith and you're looking for a wife who's equally passionate, your lack of experience you seem to dislike so much would actually be considered a good thing. The only thing you should really care about though is God's opinion on this, and His opinion is evident as explained by scripture.

Baucham Voddie has two books I've heard great things about (but haven't yet read them for myself): "Family shepherds" and "What he must be…", maybe you can give them a try.

>>662393

Acting inappropriately is what works on girls btw, the bigger moron you are, the more success you have with them. My 'problem' is not the issue here, the issue is this whole don't have sex thing. It used to make sense when people got married at 19, now that they get married at 28 it's just silly. There's no potential wife 'equally passionate', those women barely exist. And I'm not even passionate, I just never bothered to have sex. As I said, this pool of 'christian' women you all talk about is imaginary. No, at least average looking, girl remains a virgin after early 20s. And just like those people are supposedly going to hell because of fornication, I'm going to hell for mastrubation, they just have more fun.

>>662396

The world really isn't as bad as you make it out to be. There are plenty of Christian communities where you can meet wonderful people, including young women who take their faith seriously. Of course the situation differs based on where you're located and what your specific denomination is, but it definitely still is possible to find the right person. Especially with the help of God, far more unlikely things have happened.

I can only give you the advice I'm taking to heart myself and say, first and foremost, keep praying for God's aid and mercy, work on yourself both mentally as physically, make yourself more attractive to good Christian women and keep putting yourself out there.

If it's okay with you I'd like to do a prayer or two for you.

>>662399

>The world really isn't as bad as you make it out to be

Yes it is.

>There are plenty of Christian communities where you can meet wonderful people

I have not seen or heard of one.

>possible

It's possible to win the lottery too. I have seen my fair share of church girls acting nothing like church girls to fall for some idealized illusion of there being a decent pool of christian women.

Look, telling young men to be chaste or whatever will bring them nothing more than suffering. Just like st. Augustine didn't go to hell for his fornication, they won't either.

>make yourself more attractive to good Christian women and keep putting yourself out there

Please, don't give me that, it annoys me. My biceps being 2 inches bigger in diameter is pointless. And any girl that finds those 2 inches of such importance that she will eliminate a man for it, I don't want anything to do with them. I have 2 MAs, a job, I look just as good as any man out there. You know full well that doesn't guarantee anything because some thug will make their insides tingle and they will drop you like a bag of dirt.

>>662401

wtf he's right

I'm gonna marry the town bicycle now

>>662400

Of course it won't guarantee anything, these women don't owe you their body or their life just because you're working on yourself, nor does God owe you a wife just because you're a man, but continuously trying to be a better version of how you were the day before, together with actually going out and meeting people instead of waiting for them to magically appear at your doorstep does increase your chances of finding someone.

Please forgive me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have an overly pessimistic, almost depressed, and a not so women-friendly mindset. If you're like this in real life as well, I can begin to understand why you're having a hard time. The only thing keeping you from happiness is yourself.

>>662401

Based and redpilled

>>662295

I do not say that they are the majority. I only say that, obviously, there is no point in marrying a thot. Virtuous people concentrate in a few places. If you look for them in clubs and standard degenerate places, obviously you are only going to find degenerates

>>662406

The reality is reality regardless of optimism and pessimism. And no, I'm not depressed nor do I act like that. To be honest, I'm okay being alone, that's why I don't even go meet people, I don't really need them. The whole point of my posts is to tell people to not fall for the chastity trap, go out and do whatever.

>>662289

Touching tatas is 2nd base, and no, 3rd base is NOT acceptable between "committed" people family

>>662295

It is existent and they're worth scalping for, homie. Stop whining so much

>>662388

That isn't pathetic at all, you're too hard on yourself. Approaching for the first time is VERY EXTREMELY hard. All men deal with it except a select few who naturally have charisma gifts. I know exactly what you mean, lots of that crap bugs me too here and there but it's all good

>>662400

No, you whiner, the world REALLY isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Keep getting out there and trying. Don't bitch because it doesn't come easily into your lap and don't be a bigger bitch and whine how easier other people have it. Gird up your damn loins and take life by the balls (for God).

>>662413

>go out and do whatever

Get behind me, Satan. Seriously, you're WAY out of line. There is currently a 24 year old woman I know who is marrying a man who is 28, they have been dating for a couple years. Why can't that be you? They found a way to make it work in a wholesome way and they're actually pillars of the community, all because the guy decided to go out there and FIND THEM rather than piss and moan like a pessimist. And no, it isn't "the reality" at all, it's your skewed and depressed view. I get how you are discouraged because of the many times it has not worked, but trust us, it actually does. I don't even worry about being like you because I know I'm not going to resort to such weak explanations. I'm not going to compromise my faith and sell my soul over damned promiscuity of any kind, I don't care what other people do. Have some real passion for the Lord and what's right for crying out loud.

>>662428

>>662431

Been trying for over 10 years, there's only so much a man can do. You calling it whining means nothing. If I told you there was a miniscule chance of finding 100 pounds of gold in a stream, would you spend 20 years looking for it? You get absolutely nothing for being virtuous, nothing, 0, zilch.

>>662432

Those people aren't going to hell. You implying st. Augustine went to hell? And stop it with the anecdotal evidence. Spend 10 years screwing around, go to confession, problem solved.

>>662434

If you truly love God you are not going to go around defiling his creation, which includes yourself and others. It really is that simple.

>You get absolutely nothing for being virtuous, nothing, 0, zilch.

Are you calling God a liar? There is so much wrong with this sentence I don't even know where to begin, but please, pick up your Bible and read. Don't forget the book of Job.

Anyway, many that are on the wrong path never realize their foolishness and never return back to Christ. Even when they think they have, many are so insincere and oblivious to the magnitude of their sin that I doubt they will be completely forgiven just like that if the only thing that has moved is their mouth, but their heart hasn't changed one bit. Take with it also that not everyone reaches the "old age" and wisdom to repent and turn their life around, many die young during their "10 years screwing around" and will be judged on the actions of their short life.

Is it really worth it to wager your life like that, just for a bit of "fun" in sin?

May God have mercy on us all.

>>662449

>pick up your Bible and read

Words. I'm talking from experience, and just my own. Draw conclusions as you will.

You really think Joe who slept with 20 women before he got married is going to hell? Answer me please.

Besides, you can have your cake and eat it too

>spend years having fun

>face death

>I'm sorry God I shouldn't have done it

>go to heaven

>>662464

If Joe doesn't realize how much damage he has done to God's creation, repents sincerely and profoundly and changes his life around drastically, being incredibly ashamed of who he used to be and what he used to do, then yes. But again, that's just what I think based on reading and learning Scripture and doctrine, I don't claim to know how it will eventually all play out.

>Besides, you can have your cake and eat it too

Whoever thinks he can outsmart God is nothing but a fool. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

I hope and wish and pray everyone will be saved in the end, because if people knew the gravity of what they were doing by sinning, they wouldn't be doing it. I'm a sinner myself and I hate it, I pray for mercy every day and advice everybody else to do the same.

>>662466

>being incredibly ashamed of who he used to be and what he used to do

Is that shame genuine considering that Joe has been raised as a Christian and knew what he was doing was wrong? Again, having your cake and eating it too. Of course you'll repent when you face death. And then you go to heaven just like a nun who has renounced all earthly pleasures does.

I gave up trying to find christian women, let's face it they don't actually exist. Every church I've ever been to is filled with young guys but no women. I'm currently missionary dating someone atm.

>>662468

>Besides, you can have your cake and eat it too

He must not have known and understood the magnitude of how wrong it is to do what he was doing, otherwise he wouldn't have done it.

It's also totally backwards to keep referring to temporary sexual pleasure derived from the sin of fornication as "the cake", though. How can sin ever be something a Christian would want to pursue. I don't see how any sane Christian could even say that. I'm also starting to believe you may not have ever felt the tremendous guilt and shame during confession after realizing you have sinned. It's supposed to be so overwhelming you'd do anything to go back in time and rectify your mistake. I feel like I've made my points clear and so have you. I'm not going to continue to spend more of my time throwing pearls to deaf ears. I sincerely hope one day your eyes will be opened and you will understand what love for Christ is all about, as much as I hope Christ will continue to guide me as well.

>>662473

Let me summarize my problem. People get away with a lot and get the same rewards as someone who has suffered. And you can't say it's not so because the Bible is full of things referring to sinners being saved. So why suffer needlessly when you can get away with so many things?

Honestly, the whole thing is absurd to me. Some people suffer, others get an easy ride.

>>662464

Why would you want to be that guy, though? As someone who started to fall in love with a girl who had slept around in her earlier 20s including with some guys I also worked with, before I flinched I considered how I would long term deal with it.

She had come to a point where she realised in some way she'd winnie the poohed up and her self-esteem was low as hell. She had potential and probably would have made a good wife.

When I looked at her, the fact that she had slept with a few guys wasn't the thing that bothered me the most. It was that I knew one of the guys she had slept with, a guy who had slept with two other girls we worked with also. I had such a low opinion of him that the simple fact that she'd slept with him made me lose respect for her. Guys like that prey on young girls, take the sex that's being given out too easy, lower their self-esteem, drive the "prices" down, make them all think they are going to die alone and no man will ever truly love them.

It's a vicious cycle. You're mad that there are no pure girls and they all have winnie the poohed around, so your solution is to winnie the pooh around and create the next generation of "used girls" that causes more men to think the way you do.

>>662476

The problem is that those guys don't make a conscious choice to sin for a few years and then repent later. They sin because they are human and then they are forgiven following genuine repentance. Delayed obedience, though, is disobedience.

>>662479

Please, don't justify women, they know exactly what they're doing, you can't fall on someone's penis on accident.

>so your solution is to winnie the pooh around and create the next generation of "used girls" that causes more men to think the way you do.

lol man, if you don't have sex with them, someone else will, it's simple as that. No girl ever said 'oh that guy won't have sex with me, oh well I guess then I won't have sex before marriage'. I'm also sick and tired of hearing people saying it's men's responsibility to set everything straight, like women have no agency or free will.

>>662480

Explain it however you want, the fact remains you get away with things and you get the exact same rewards. I can decide to delay obedience and have fun until I've had my fill and then become obedient.

>>662476

I used to have this problem too. I had to change my perspective on it though for me to accept it.

Basically, God has set things up such that the sincerely repentant can go to heaven. The sincerely repentant can always go to heaven. That's what matters most. To be mad at God for presenting the same reward to the "Eleventh Hour Convert" and the one who suffered and toiled and endured for so long is illogical because the only reason God is the way he is is precisely because he values sincere repentance from sin above all. Does this help?

>>662482

>Does this help?

No. Because what is sincere repentance? Is it someone fearing death or hell? Because isn't repentance from someone fearing death sincere?

Secondly, you really think people are sorry for sleeping with 20 beautiful women and having a blast in their life?

>>662481

I'm not justifying it. I just think that the simple fact that the top 80% of women on tinder are hooking up with the top 20% of guys (for whom it is like shooting fish in a barrel) makes those guys worse. For some guys, it's too easy to winnie the pooh a lot of girls. For that bottom 80%, you are just going to end up feeling like shit cause no girl will sleep with you or you get dregs anyway. Considering you can't find a girl to marry, I don't know who you think you're kidding.

And the point about delayed obedience isn't some semantic point. It's that it is the same as DISOBEDIENCE. You think you can just trick God like it was a simple wager? If you believe the Christian faith to be true, you'd want to hope God accepts your "change of heart".

People who convert at the last minute usually make a sudden realisation. They don't plan when they are in their 20s to only convert when there is no more fun to be had.

>>662483

>beautiful women

You're just setting yourself up for disappointment. You couldn't even if you wanted to. You'd probably not make a quarter of that and they probably won't be "beautiful." Don't measure yourself against a certain type of man.

>>662484

Man, I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about men in general. I'm too far gone to even have a gf.

But the things you say are interesting actually.

>you can't have sex with pretty girls, might as well not have it

Very christian like.

>You think you can just trick God like it was a simple wager?

How do I explain this. What is repentance? What constitutes honest repentance? I repeat, I seriuosly doubt that a man is sorry for the act of having sex. I emphasize the word act. Because being sorry about the act and being sorry because you fear hell is not the same thing. And this fact that repentance is such a wide term makes me just drop the faith. It's just absurd.

And all sin is deliberate too, those are willful actions. So, you can willingly sin, but then honestly repent? Like, who falls for that? It's like when someone robs you, police catches him, and the thief feels sorry. The fact he's sorry now means nothing, because his regret is motivated by consequences. When there were no consequences, he wasn't sorry. Do you see the absurd?

>>662490

>When there were no consequences, he wasn't sorry.

There was never such a thing as there being no consequences though. The Lord saw everything. He existed before the crime, during the crime and will exist after the crime. Even without punishment from Law Enforcement, there would still be one final, true Judgment and punishment.

Looking at your post though, I think I see the issue. When people sin, they're ignoring the consequences of their actions as they sin. When they see the consequences, they're forced to… see the consequences. They're forced to see the role their actions play as part of the larger reality they're a part of. Because people feel okay about sinning in that moment of (either intentional or unintentional) ignorance, they cannot be truly sorry, is what you're arguing. You can't be truly sorry for doing something you enjoyed doing just because you're aware of the consequences of doing it or are forced to face the consequences for doing it. I don't think that's true at all. I don't think how you feel about doing the act itself is what matters. It's how you feel about it in awareness of the fact that it's against God's will.

>>662396

>Falling for the "sex before marriage will make you a chad"

No it won't. If you search for a traditional girl being a virgin should be an advantage. Look the probably is with how you present yourself to girls. Things like negativity (judging by your posts) and low confidence (don't know if actually true..but if it is it might stem from you buying the whole 'sleeping around makes you a chad' narrative) do not appeal to girls. If you give off the wrong vibes the girls might be turned off by your attitude.

>>662413

>The whole point of my posts is to tell people to not fall for the chastity trap, go out and do whatever.

Oh well….An advice to sin. lol why do I even bother replying

>>662434

>Those people aren't going to hell.

Are you implying you know who gets to go where? Wew lad.

>Spend 10 years screwing around, go to confession, problem solved.

You seem to be very informed on how the repentance works.

>>662492

>Because the sheer power men wield over women is such that it might as well be the case. If all the men were chaste and only wanted chaste women, the women would be forced to adapt. It's a fact.

This. Take off your equality glasses and learn what the Bible says about gender roles. Your role is to be dominant. If you are one, most women will gladly follow.

>>662495

You've said nothing of value. You talk about some virgin girls who are basically like unicorns. In my 27 years of life I have never, ever heard a girl mention pre marital chastity and my country is 95% Christian. So just drop it. The rest of your post is just projecting. I'm just pointing out the sheer absurdity of the repentence you people are talking about.

>Take off your equality glasses and learn what the Bible says about gender roles.

Stop larping, just stop it. There will not be a unified male effort to re impose chastity standards.

>>662492

>Someone who sincerely fornicated about without a regard for the Lord only to then sincerely repent it is completely different from someone who is trying to effectively game the Lord's love

It's gaming in either case. If you know fornication is a sin, like most men and women do, you're gaming the system because you're counting on God forgiving it to you, you know you're doing something wrong. So how is repentance possible in that case?

>On their death bed

That's not even repentence as far as I'm concerned. You're not doing it because you regret the act, you're doing it to avoid hell.

>With that kind of defeatist mindset, how does one go about changing anything?

Let's step out of the fairy land for a sec. Do you really think, if 30% of sexually active men refused to have sex, that the corresponding percentage of females would stop having it too? Come on. It's female nature to form harems around men anyway, they wouldn't even notice a portion of men is not having sex.

>the women would be forced to adapt. It's a fact.

As I said to the other dude, it's not happening in reality.

>>662427

Disagree, although in my last relationship we had fights because she wanted more, and she was the religious one at the time. It only occurred to me months later that I had essentially become a Christian thanks to her influence.

Anyway, point is, this fundamentalist approach to marriage is not shared by Christians outside the religious right. It's not even traditional, Christians have always known people have a weakness in this area and there has always been a willingness to compromise, that is, until reactionary Victorian morality kicked in, helping to make the cause of Christianity more and more unreasonable.

I feel like it's getting harder and harder to find a virgin girl these days especially in this degenerate society.

I fear I may fall for a girl who has had sex before at some point as I haven't an idea where to find girls who are of faith more so, I shouldn't be using Tinder should I?

>tfw no Christian gf to help push you back on the path of righteousness

>>662535

Church, and you don't have to worry so much. Girls are on average more religious than men believe it or not.

>>662538

Finding a good/decent one hasn't been too easy these days.

>>662517

> I'm just pointing out the sheer absurdity of the repentance you people are talking about.

Just because you clearly do not understand what repentance is that does not make it absurd.

'I am going to screw around then before I die I'll repent' is not repentance. Sorry to break it to you.

You talk from the point of pride - claiming X or Y won't get to hell because 'muh augustine'. You seem to care much about demoralizing guys and shilling for hook-up culture.Don't be surprised when people call you out when your advice is to go out there and sin.

>>662600

'You don't understand' is not an answer, it clarifies nothing. The absurdity lies in the claim that repentence out of fear is valid. The other side of the coin is can you truly repent about an act that brings no bad consequences. I wouldn't say people feel any regret in such cases.

I can claim you're shilling for needless pain and suffering when you can just go out and get it out of your system. Besides, you'll be more successful with women, yes, even the 'christian' ones, because for women the number of sexual partners you have shows how generally desirable you are, they put zero value on chastity.

>>662608

You're just trying to justify your self pity and aren't talking about Christian relationships. Take your nihilism elsewhere, you're a fedora away from hell itself.

Challenge: Recite the 14 words.

>>662608

>for women the number of sexual partners you have shows how generally desirable you are

I am yet to meet a Christian girl who would consider a guy who slept with 10 women to be 'desirable'. If so, she's not a good Christian.

>Still claiming repentance is out of fear

Is this all you got? One repents because one feels he's done something wrong…because one has a relationship with God and sin destroys that. Let me put it this way. If one loves Christ one does not repent out of fear. "Who loves me keeps the commandments" If you love your wife you do not regret betraying her because you're afraid of her. You regret it because you love the woman.

Your pessimism stems from you embracing the nihilism. Your 'theology' is weak so all you can do is to say: "Stop LARPing" "this is not an argument" "You project" to deflect the fact you do not say anything of essence to back your arguments. If so provide the Church fathers writings or some writings of value on repentance to substantiate your claims. Oh yeah I get it. It is easier to use vain phrases like "you're larping" instead.

>they put zero value on chastity.

Your subjective observing, not supported by any objective data. My subjective observing says there are good Christian girls who value chastity. I know those girls personally so I know.

>>662608

All you do is embrace your self pity, try to justify both the self pity and sin. It seems that nihilism is truly an enjoyable thing tbh….. you spread it here, demoralizing others so they may also enjoy the benefits. I see.

Also read this >>662729

>>653826

NOFAP for a week.

you'll start finding her attractive.

>>662608

heretic

>>653826

If you do not find her attractive at all, there's no chemistry why force it? If you're not on nofap try >>662836 If it's the same after that just do not force it.

>>663057

Why not both? Until you go steady with someone, you're a free agent.

>>662558

I share that feel, friend. Lets pray to the Lord for full quivers in His time.

>>662540

>wah hard thing is hard

>wah girls can't touch my faith stat

>LITERALLY HOLIER THAN THOU-ING

You have the internet, planes, trains and automobiles to help you in your search. Solomon was whining about it ~3000 years ago, and managed to be right without the power of analytics our graceful God has allowed us now. Don't make excuses, make adjustments: How much of the OP can you claim?

>>662170

nobody knows when they will die. some people never get a chance to repent.

>>662392

literally fake it till you make it. being the chad virgin is attainable if you are willing to put in the effort.

>>662401

p much itt

there's really two mindsets here: the r9k-lite, and people who want to improve. the incels don't want to put in effort, or try and are put off immediately at the first time things go sour. the chad virgins find comfort in discomfort since, "the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force." i knew a guy who was literally wizchan tier until he was 16, still making great strides towards being the chad virgin. anything is possible lads.

>>663057

nothing wrong with visiting other churches

>>663340

Wrong. I'm 23 and I've been looksmaxing more on less for 4 years straight now and its gotten me nowhere. I wish this board was more blackpilled sometimes (though I like the good balance between blue, red, and black sometimes as well). You can't fix an ugly face, and even the perfect chaste Christian girl we all want will reject us ugly/autistic men. In college I knew an attractive young conservative Christian girl, she wasn't interested…because of my face.

>>663849

>I wish this board was more blackpilled sometimes (though I like the good balance between blue, red, and black sometimes as well).

Christianity is the ultimate white pill though

>>662534

Its not fundamentalist, youre literally playing around with her vag dude. Thats compromise. You couldnt handle the full thing so you buckled and chose lust.

>>662464

>haha spend years having fun!

You sound as bad as the thots of the world dude. I dont WANT to do all that shit. Those people have NO values. winnie the pooh that shit.

>>662476

I understand that isnt "fair" but tough, kid. Dont compare yourself to others. You should do this out of love for God, period. Stay true to Him because He loves you and died for you. If you screw around knowing its wrong, only to repent after, are you really even sorry at all?

>>662481

>i can delay my obedience

Absolute shit faith. You may not even be forgiven because you dont sound genuine.

>>663906

>>663907

>>663908

He smells like a mocking fedora tbh

Bump against slide threads.

Jesus lads, I'm going through hell these days.

This girl is giving me so many signs that she's interested in me, like messaging me at 23:00 "hey anon, why don't you join me in the park outside, the view is beautiful" etc, yet she won't let me approach her at all, and she takes ages to answer most of my messages. I know I should be more patient and not give a damn until things are settled, but I can't help it. I'm thinking about her non-stop 24h/24, and it's ruining my days tbh.

She's very defensive for some reason, and it's making me feel insecure af, because I imagine that if I was Chad she would immediately give herself to me (which is most probably untrue, I know).

How do I stop having her on my mind all the time? This is really getting unhealthy, I'm wondering wether I should seek help at this point lol.

>>665547

Just be patient, try to setup an IRL meetup/date and than tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, it wasn't ment to be. If she embraces you than you have God to thank.

Best of luc anon, ill be praying for ya.

>>665563

>tell her how you feel

Don't go overboard, just ask her on a date

>>666115

I want /Christian/ to get purged so freaking bad

>>666137

Ignore useless posts like above, it's shills who get their panties in a bunch because I'm an alpha chad trying to help fellow Christians have lasting relationships and giving them the tools to do so.

>>665547

Life's too short to put up with such mind games. Find one that will respect your time and emotions.

>>666137

>>666143

Nice cope

>>666137

not everyone wants to wallow in mediocrity and tfw no gf forever lad

>>663849

This tbh >>666115

Sometimes I wonder why I see gorgeous girls with small, bellow average looking guys. I'm not ugly but my issue has always been low confidence. To develop some charm you need a dose of confidence. Some girls will not like your vibe anyway - that is to say some girls will reject you even at your best and you should not mind that. It's natural. If you do not care about it it will give you a vibe of confidence -the thing all girls seek. After a year of working on myself I think I improved. Abandoning the 'equality' thinking helped. Redpill yourself on women. And also on masculinity. Women seek charm and masculinity, looks are just secondary. bellow average looking chad>pretty beta.

>>666400

>>666115

I am >>663849 on a different computer

I spat up the red pill a few years ago. I kept up with Roosh and Rollo Tomassi and the entire gang of clowns that keep the redpill incels at bay, in denial. I have the defeated mentality because I have constantly been defeated by women. There are so few true tradcon women, and they all hate me because I'm ugly. It really does not inspire alot of hope. I have no confidence because I've been rejected 5+ times. I have no charm, I have autism. I just want a loving christian girlfriend/wife. I have lost weight to try to impress women. I have went to the gym. I have tried to be neurotypical. I tried the game nonsense. Nothing worked.

>>666137

They just need to spit up some of this bluepill and redpill nonsense. I love all my brothers in Christ and I only want the best for them, and the blackpill is the best. 99% of women are scum. The 1% that aren't are taken or definitely not interested in me.

>>666608

Black pill won't help you. Hell I have been rejected 5+ times too. There were girls that liked my vibe, there were those who did not. Rejection is not anything to be afraid of.

Look I have read like one book out of those. I do not feel like I need to use those advices - since they;re for 'gamers' but it was good to get the idea on how to act. It is one thing to understand the concept. The other thing to implement the confidence. 'The game' nonsense is for gamers - people who want to sleep with x women. If you look for wife just work on yourself (both mind and body), get the natural confident vibe. The girl is somewhere out there you just have not met her. Trust God's leading and do your part. Will you get rejected again? yeah probably. Will it pay off once you finally meet your future wife? Definitely.

I am no chad lvl80 but I do hold on to this approach. I do trust God and I pray.

>>666608

The black pill just sounds like the red pill from someone who couldn't take it but really wants to

I'll choose neither

>>666115 me

>>666608

>>666636 This guy knows what’s up

I have been rejected 10+ times or more tbh, you probably haven’t met right people aswell. You really need to go through rejection to get what you want at the end of the day it’s a numbers game. But you know what I just hate, you giving people like who try to improve themselves with women. I know from real life experince how far you can go with learning how to be charmful since I went through with learning how to ‘game’ with all my will. In the end I met some really beautiful girls but just couldn’t go through since they had certain red flags but know I have some good Christian girls on the hook. God bless guys

I'm not looking for a relationship and i don't know if this is the right thread, but I've been attending daily mass right now and the at other side of the seat edge i see a woman with a white veil. She really keeps to herself and she kneel immediately when the sign of peace comes, to avoid confrontation i suppose since i wanted to do one with her but an older guy beat me to it and she practically ignore him (she looks she wanted to return the sign but can't). She also stayed at the church long after the mass. I just want to ask you guys what she's doing, is it some kind of devotion i don't know or what? She also looks sad and sometimes says her prayer sudible enough for me to hear

wish to marry a chinese ifb lady

>>667362

Say a Rosary and stop being effeminate. It wouldn't be too late if you were 30 yet. So just go out tomorrow, keep your head up, smile at everyone and if a girl smiles back say something. Done.

>>666608

>I've been rejected 5+ times

Lol are you serious? Come to me when it's been 50. You haven't tried at all. I've been rejected like 20 times, way, way more online (we're talking 50 or more) and I'm decent-looking. Out of that, I have gotten a fair share of dates over the years online and off and with genuinely attractive women. It really is a numbers game but more important it's a "being a genuine man" game. Not counting the women who have liked me who I (((rejected))). Get back in there and quit whining. You're not putting the work in. "I have no charm boohoo" Figure it out. It takes time, it's a process. You have to be committed. Anyone can cry and whine. Forget all the talk of red pills and black pills, that's men trying to give order and explanation to something as capricious as human whim. Ignore it. Be a genuine man and genuine lover of women, work on where you lack conviction and masculinity, charm,etc. You don't need to be something you're not (chad) but you can work on yourself in a way that fits your personality/conversation style.

>>666809

>met beautiful girls but just couldn't go through

Exactly the same here. One of them was a girl I knew in high school at my old church (before I returned to cadolig). She was anime-cute, I mean seriously as cute as a button, almost has a "white asian" look to her (not Asian at all), was brought up good, and other things but it didn't work out partly because I was a retard (I was trying to juggle her with a Columbian girl who was my friend's friend lol) but also because perhaps it wasn't meant to. I had a suspicion she gave into certain lusts before and another friend more or less confirmed it so maybe it wasn't meant to be anyway. Point is, I have met and "gone through" TONS of women one way or another and I'm not even phased at all because in those interactions I've realized and shown to myself that I am attractive to certain women whose vibe I set off and even women who I'd actually want to date. It's taken years, but it's finally cemented in me and now I just go for it, which only gives even more success. Throw all the black/red pill stupid talk out with their weird agendas. Return to ideals of genuine masculinity (not fake) and femininity. Don't try and fit every female interaction you have into some sort of script. That's beta before you get off the ground.

>>667362

As for you, before you have a family you need to be able produce $. Not insane amounts, but enough. Don't freak out. You may not have to spend years getting this right, just take it as it comes and it all depends on God. Take comfort in the fact that you can date WAY YOUNGER than you for a very long time, so what's the worry? You can be 25 and date 20 year olds, even 28 and date 20 year olds. Do you have any idea how much worse women have it than us? Pray for pious women who at 30 have extremely few options for pious men, as they generally can't date as young as men can and thus their pool is extremely smaller. You're fine, we're all gonna make it brah

>>667364

Thanks anon I want to do just that

>>667377

I don't want to date women with a large age gap though, the statistics show that marriages work the best if you're both the same age

>>667373

>>667365

Sorry slayers, but that's not how it's been for me. You both claim that women have been attracted to you in the past, but that has never happened to me. We cannot relate on a fundamental level.

>Be a genuine man and genuine lover of women

I am not a lover of women. I hate them (I pray and ask for forgiveness regarding this all the time, more or less weekly). I want to stop hating them, and I have tried unsuccessfully in the past, but I've come to the conclusion that I will never stop hating women until the Lord blesses me with a woman, if it be His Will.

I am extremely genuine to people, almost to the point where people call me too genuine and too "to the point". I have been super genuine with women and they have treated me with nothing but scorn and ridicule.

>You're not putting the work in

If you're good looking, you don't have to… that's my point! Putting in work is a redpill meme to distract low-value men like myself from the truth about attracting women: 80% of what makes you attractive is determined, at latest, pubescence.

>Don't try and fit every female interaction you have into some sort of script

I don't get to interact with young women, Christian or not. They do not give me the time of day due to ugliness and autism.

>Anyone can cry and whine.

That's what I'm here to do. I pray everyday for salvation from this hell-on-earth, or the strength to continue to fight through it. Nothing short of a miracle will save me.

I love all you guys on a Christian level, but asking you guys for dating advice is a horrible decision. I feel like I'm on Reddit

>>667398

>both the same age

Really? I thought it was 2-8 years with the man being older. Really though, it will work if you want it and will it to and find someone else with the religious values to do so. Someone made a decent point about that virginity/stable marriage statistic that maybe it overlaps because religious people tend to wait and place a high value on marriage. But that's exactly the point.

>>667480

>slayers

Haha I didn't mean to come off douchey, I was just trying to show that although I've never had a proper gf and am as autistic as many of you, there's hope. Why do you hate them? Do not take your loneliness out on all women, that is a very bad, unhealthy place to be. Just don't blame them for it, don't be bitter. That is good you're genuine though, but I meant more of a "genuine" love for women meaning with their warts and all. To where it sort of charms you how silly they can be because that's how they are. Don't hate it. And also by genuine lover, I meant someone who wants a woman because he wants a woman for who they are, not someone who wants an object as if she was a car, or a personal conquest of pride or sex (where the PUA morons go horribly wrong). About pubescence: although there certainly is a "cards you dealt" situation as there is for anything in life (think intelligence, sense, charisma, athletics, ability in anything, etc) what matters is how you play those cards. It sounds like maybe you did get kind of a crappy hand, but we're trying to say to play it as best you can rather than fold. Lame card analogy I know but you get the point. Do you shower and stuff? Wear decent clothes? You can be ugly as sin but if you present yourself with confidence, people will look past it. I shit you not, I know some really ugly ass people who just own it and they can get 5s at least. Not the ideal 7+personality but it's better than wallowing in the mucky 1s and 2s. And fair enough, I wasn't necessarily targeting you about whining. That is good you pray to keep going, as we certainly need God. I would not be at the peace I am at without God. Heck, I never thought I could even be where I'm at at all.

And we love you too bro

Back here!

>>662128

Nope, she said she was my wife, and later said she wasn't.

Not "marry eventually" and more like fraud.

She was also previously divorced, and her father dead, so according to the bible itself I had to take her up to her word anyway. There was no father I could go and ask for her hand.

In a way, I was dumb, I knew divorcees divorce again more often but… I was kinda desperate.

—-

Now changing subject completely…

In the end, I remained christian, in a way that surprised me, the first girl that asked me for sex after I made those posts, I immediately blurted out only after marriage, and she immediately got mad at me…

Still, I was very happy I remained "me" somehow, that when my conscious faith failed, my unconscious one kept up.

So, found around that time another girl, that was bossy, rude and kept saying she would be a lawyer just to annoy me…

Yet, found out she is Baptist, raised very well, every time she mention what her parents taught her, I agree with it, her parents raised her the way I want to raise my own kids, and she admitted she KNOWS her personality is a problem ,and wants a man that can literally, put her in her place, that the last man she dated she dumped because he kept obeying her.

So, I want to date that girl, asked her to talk to her family and so on.

Just one problem…

1. She keeps trying to make me jealous, for example talk about ex-BFs hitting on her, kept praising another dude looks, talked loud about a dating site (taht I know she is not in it right now) with her brother while the phone was on, and last night did a really, really lame trolling attempt by claiming she would sleep in a male friend house.

This one I guess the bible doesn't help, so just plain normal advice, what I tell the baptist girl so that she cuts that shit?

(she already done some other "tests" that I ended passing, like trying to oblige me to keep talking to her past sleep time or she would block me, I told her to block me then and hanged up, next morning she sent a super cheerful good morning instead…)

—-

also random advice needed:

I have Asperger and ADHD, and tend to talk about my interests (like computers, games, bible, etc…), this doesn't interest her, she loves talking to me and hearing my voice, but often complains my subject is boring… so literally, what I talk with a girl?

>>667812

That's some next level reddit spacing you got there bud

>>667812

replying to my own post, girl that got mad at me for wanting not wanting sex before marriage, was raised in Assemblies of God…

And girl I am hitting on right now, had a girl from Assemblies of God insist on hitting on her a lot and tried to eat her out once…

Then people go and say I was the one trolling…

>>667814

Nah, got the habit of using —- because I write long ass e-mails to people using text-only mode.

Also I am programmer and write my own notes that way. Sometimes I write them in markdown so I can convert to HTML later.

that spacing actually doesn't work in reddit, to work there you need to write more line returns (something that infuriates me, my posts there always end with shit formatting)

>>667812

>she said she was my wife

So you got married and had a ceremony?

>very happy I remained "me"

Exactly, good going! Right on! Your unconscious one certainly did keep up. Her talking about ex-bfs sounds like she wants you to put her in her place. She sounds like she's difficult and even trouble, dude. See if she follows your lead when you say what the date plan is. She sounds like she might have an issue following your male lead. I am inexperienced as well, so maybe others can confirm what I am about to suggest, but it sounds like you need to tell her she either cuts all that out or you're gone and you won't put up with it. She sounds like an attention-seeking nut case despite how she was apparently raised. Praying for you bro.

Oh and for talking with girls- just keep them talking. So ask her about her day, or whatever, things about her life, past, memories, and comment on them here and there in ways you relate. So like, if she likes some shitty band you can say "Oh, I think I heard of them. Don't they have that song on that commercial?" Be genuine and honest but just stuff like that, that shows you connect to what she is saying. Don't say it much though, just pepper it throughout the conversation. But yeah dude, honestly she sounds INSANE.

>>666608

>5+

you're a pussy dude. just gonna be real. man up. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

>>666608

So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

>>667929

>>667928

I fully admit and repent, and I want to make it better, but as I said in another post, it is futile until the Lord blesses me with a wife. I will continue to try.

>>667742

Confidence is such a shitty meme. I'm tired of people telling me to have it. Confidence comes from good looks and previous experience, which are things I do not have. I can't just take pills in the morning to fix this. I dress fine, I can talk to people, people at work think I'm confident and low-inhibition.

I'll admit I don't want a woman for who they are, I do not see value in women that way. I want a wife to give me children. I do not want a wife to interest me, I want to reproduce.

>>667720

>yellow fever fags actually believe this

You realize Asian women are actually bigger whores than white women, right?

The fact they date so many white men instead of asian men should be a red flag

>>667812

Unironically pretend she's a 14 year old.

Women's brains don't mature past 14 or so.

>>667362

>all those qualifiers

are you me?

alot of dudes are in the same spot and anxious about the same things tbh. "feeling like you have only 5 years left to live" is what i describe it as.

What worked for me was stop thinking so much, focus on school, focus on reading the bible, i know it sounds normie but it's a fight between the over-analytical brain and the sane part.

>>667958

>want wife to reproduce

good luck with that marriage. maybe God hasn't blessed you yet because you are not ready and would not treat a woman right.

maybe check this out when you have a chance https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1V4w38v2mI

>>668701

to clarify it is good you want your wife to reproduce OBVIOUSLY but you need to have chemistry and enjoy each other's company too…it's called marital bond. eve was not just a vag for adam to have children, she was his companion and had the full dignity that comes with being made in the image of God

>>668701

Not him but thank you so much for this video. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now.

God bless you.

>>653399

>YELLOW FEVER TIGS PLS GO

Fugg :DDDDD

In all seriousness, I was introduced to a sweet young lady in China as I was learning Mandarin. We had a wonderful friendship during my time over there, and I honestly didn't think overmuch about it, but now, as I've returned home, I really miss her. (Like, I feel sick in the stomach, in between butterflies and nausea.) I honestly didn't find myself attracted to Chinese girls, or Asians in general, so it kind of has taken me back.

I've tried taking an ex-gf out to lunch and spending time with some of the other young ladies at my church, but I can't get my friend in China back out of my mind. I hadn't really realized it when I was over there, but now I really miss spending time with her, and my mind constantly goes back to her, whether I'm at the gym, or getting coffee, or trying to study.

She's not a Christian, afaik, although I tried to share some of the Gospel, as best as I could with my poor Mandarin. I've seriously considered returning just so I could share the Gospel with her in a better way; it makes me feel sick to think of her not being saved, regardless of any sort romantic attachment.

I went to a foreigner-only Prot church in Beijing; this is because if I attended a house church, I could be responsible for the arrest of brothers and sisters in Christ, as it could lead to them being accused of interaction with foreign agents. Does anyone have any experience with the state churches in China, and whether it is at all possible for the Gospel to be preached in them? From what I read online, it doesn't look hopeful. I wish I could recommend a church for her to attend.

>http://www.billionbibles.com/china/three-self-church.html

>>669207

If your point is that they look 1000% times different with and without makeup… that is entirely true. Asian girls can be incredibly jealous and petty, too.

>>669213

>If your point is that they look 1000% times different with and without makeup… that is entirely true. Asian girls can be incredibly jealous and petty, too.

Also, wide foreheads are cute.

>>669207

damn that's deceptive!

>>669213

>If your point is that they look 1000% times different with and without makeup

Don't think it's the make up his point is with regards to (although am not disputing what you're saying) - the vid isn't a comparison of before and after make up application/removal - it's the effect of a hairstyle

also should have posted vid related here >>669247

>>669248

>the vid isn't a comparison of before and after make up application/removal - it's the effect of a hairstyle

Ah, I understand! I was thinking of the wrong video. If someone thinks they like an Asian, see what she looks like with no makeup and her hair pulled back, then make your decision, if you want to factor in physical attraction. (A big part of the equation, obv, after her faith.)

Tbh, there's a few American girls who could take hairstyle/make-up tips from Asians.

>>669250

>see what she looks like with no makeup

The impact of youtibe makeup tutorials and instagram (and porn tbf but idk if that's imitating fashion or the other way round - heaviliy suspect the former tbh) on the current generation of girls, teens and young women means this shouldn't only be advice for asians, heavy and distorting make up is so pervasive these days. A lot of the girls in your vid w/o make up are clearly v cute naturally, too (i don't even have yellow fever) but personally I think that really heavy make up like what's popular w/online beauty communities (and by extension, irl for teens and young women these days too) is a bit of a red flag, provides an indication as to the extent she's of the world rather than in it and how much she's comfortable in and respects her God given natural looks.

I know girl's like to doll up but it should be kept for special occasions (again personally back in my day I would often think girls looked worse when they dolled up like celebs for a special occasion just because it looked so unnatural and distracting compared to what you were used to seeing that person look like day to day - but maybe that's because they didn't have all the tutorials back then) and not relied on every day (think of all those chemicals too) like a sheild or a mask or a band aid for low self esteem. As fashion goes in swings and cycles and given the heavy make up really gives off a fake/plastic/bimbo vibe (sinister when you think about imo) though part of me does wonder will we start to see a rebound soon where the natural look is very in and people will look back and laugh at how ridiculous it looked and this is just a phase or if it's here for good (which is possible given the beauty enhancing effects it's considered to have).

So I have a with a girl in a coffee shop in a few days. However, I'm not actually particularly interested in her as a marriage prospect–I just want to get some dating practice in for the "real deal" since I've never really interacted with girls before. Needless to say, she doesn't know that I don't like her that much.

I have a feeling that this whole affair is wrong. Should I call the date off?

>>669262

>and porn tbf but idk if that's imitating fashion or the other way round - heaviliy suspect the former tbh

Meant the latter

>>669263

Doesn't sound like a great way to start, especially if you don't intend on continuing anything with her, sounds like you'll just be wasting her time so I would be inclined to call it off, looking in from the outside. Woudn't be so much a problem if you were going with the view of keeping it light just to see if there could be the possibility you might end up liking her, but as it is just going for practice sounds like you're using her which you have to ask your self, how would you feel if you knew a girl you liked was doing that to you?

However am curious to know what the reasons are that you're not interested, anything in particular or just not that pull? Because it could end up that you could be pleasantly surprised, depending on the answer to the question above. also if you do think about calling it off would be interested to know how you might go about it/what you would say because I have no idea how I would cos I'm a dweeb

I'm in a relationship with a girl who used to be a christian an says that it used to make her despair because of the lonliness so shes confused about her faith now. I understand this feel because the exact thing happened to me and made me suicidal at one point. Christianity isn't really a thing here since its a deeply secular city. We are also both from the same ethnic minority background (mine are 3rd gen hers are 2nd gen). I can talk about Christ and she listens and doesnt attack me and says she believes, and she started going to church with me (small church of about 10 people out in the boonies).

Should i be concerned about anything?

Maybe it's just the chicks I've been around, but as anyone else noticed a tattoo trend among young Christian women? Both of the previous two girls I've dated had christian themed tattoos. In society at large tattoos seem to have become more of an effeminate thing. It seems to stem from the outward emotional trait of women. They like to wear their emotions of their sleeves, almost literally in this sense.

>>669364

To be fair, I remember seeing OKCupid statistics that showed the response rate for those of a particular sex and ethnicity. One thing that stands out was the overt dislike Asian women had for their own men as well as the strong preference they had for White men.

To be fair though, it would be Americanised Asians on something like OKCupid. I don't know about Asians living in Asia. Regarding this, I believe the sentiment I usually see is that if a westerner is seen with a desirable native woman, there's something wrong with her. Westerners are seen as having a "strange" (read: bad) taste in women or they're with a divorcee i.e they're only scraping the unwanted scraps.

>>662401

wtf I hate purity now

>>669378

>I don't know about Asians living in Asia

Ancedote here, but I lived a year in Thailand. Asians in Asia are even worse than American Asians imo. There was even one girl I met in church who seemed like that typical "cute innocent" asian school girl type. We went to go hang out at her room and she showed me her dildo collection, then started talking about how she wanted me to sodomise her. This is less than a few hours after meeting her.

I know a lot of people disagree, but my experience has led me to avoid asian women en mass. At least with white women you can kind of tell who has been a whore in the past. Asians hide it better.

>>669433

This is too winnie the pooh true, and let me tell you, not many of them are virgins either.

>>669433

This is so interesting. I don't doubt it a bit, but it does seem so different from my experiences in China, as well of those of my aunt who worked with house churches in Kunming for nearly a decade.

It seemed that, for Chinese girls, holding hands or kissing was a big deal; sex was very often reserved for a serious relationship/marriage.

Is this more of a SE Asian thing? I had a friend in the Philippines who worked at a church there and ended up leaving prematurely because he was exhausted and tempted by the girls who constantly wanted to sleep with him, regardless of their being seemingly faithful Christians.

>>669433

You'll have to excuse me as it seems that there are still residual effects from the time I spent on /pol/. It seems that there are a lot of notions that have remained internalised in my mind from the time I spent on /pol/, notions that I left unchallenged and held to be unquestionably true.

When I say "Asians", in much the same way that those of the Indian subcontinent are implicitly disregarded due to not being "true Asians", South East Asians are also disregarded. The sentiment I was exposed to on /pol/ is that the SE Asians are not "true" Asians. They're not what Hitler looked at and deemed worthy of the term "Honorary Aryan". The fact that you had the experience that you did in the country who's primary income is dependent on sex tourism is not a surprise. The surprise however is how you seem to conclude that the SE Asians can be seen as representative of all Asians. Now, while I wouldn't be so cruel as to refer to the SE Asians as "Jungle Monkeys", I nonetheless believe that only a willingly blind eye could cause one to be ignorant of the differences between the SE Asians and the Far East Asians such as the Chinese and Japanese. I believe that this willful ignorance could only be the result of a desire to disregard all evidence that challenges one's beliefs in equality amongst all people.

I don't believe acknowledging the successes of the Far East Asians, relative to the SE Asians is sinful. Judging one to be superior to the other however is where the line is crossed.

>>669201

You are very welcome! I am glad it found you well. Thank you and God bless you too!

>>669279

Sounds good to me. You can be a leader for her and also someone she relates to with the faith. It almost sounds like God brought you together but don't let that go to your head. Maybe it is for romantic reasons, or friendship ones, but so far so good it sounds like. Remain strong in the faith. Women need leaders (men) and it sounds like you're that. I don't think you have anything to be concerned with, just listen to her and let the faith discussion feel natural. The only thing I can think of that can cause concern is perhaps mistakes she may have mad after she fell out of her faith, but don't worry about that too much. It sounds like you're understanding to her, which is good, because as you have said, it is difficult. Especially in a secular city when the entire tide of culture is against you. It's no small thing. Will pray for you both.

>>669343

Literally just had a date with a woman who has one on the bottom of her wrist. It is her only tattoo and is meaningful, as it represents a young Christian Coptic who died in Egypt for his faith (that martyr who was beaten in school for his faith and died before the ambulance arrived). But yeah, I've noticed that too.

So last week I first caught my girlfriend making plans to hang out with a sodomite male and then secondly found out that she actually did with a different one. I was understandably upset and let her know that it was not okay and very concerning that a potential mother of my children likes to be friends with open unrepentant sodomites. Keep in mind that we both go to a traditional Catholic church so I figured this sort of thing wouldn't even be a question but apparently her family is on the more liberal side of things bizarrely enough.

So I gave her my perspective and thoughts as to why hanging out with sodomites is not a good idea. Seemed to go over fine, she said I was correct but then she told her family and now they hate me because I'm apparently mean and controlling. I never called her any names or issued any decrees saying what she could or couldn't do. I just let her know how I felt about it and let her think about it. Her parents are separated, she lives with her mother and a few younger siblings, and one of her younger sisters can't stand me because I don't compromise on my faith so she managed to get her mother's ear and spin up a ridiculous caricature of me so now I feel like I'm in a tough spot.

Basically they won't like me unless I'm "chill" like the younger sister's boyfriend who is okay with premarital sex, drugs, and degenerate humor/behavior. My gf knows that I'm right but her family is basically waging psychological war at home on her to try to convince her that I'm a bad person and unfit for marriage because I want to be a devout Catholic. I don't want to abandon her because I have been a very good influence on her, I do love her a lot, and her heart is in the right place. If I abandon her I fear that the family will convince her to be "chill" and not worry about taking the Faith too serious. But also her decisions were a strong lapse in judgement and I do have concerns that she may not be ready to be a mother if that's the kind of friends she keeps.

Tough spot /christian/ I'm not interested in being her absent father figure or getting torn down by her family but I do love her and don't want to throw in the towel. Not sure how to handle this.

>>670751

You're doing good anon, stand your ground. You're on the right path, and if your gf isn't ready to take that path with you and leave her degenerate family behind for good, then she's not the one. I'm sure you'll be fine though. You should tell her exactly what you wrote here IMO.