Background buckle up buckaroo, this is going to be a wild ride
>mom grew up Baptist
>dad grew up Jewish
>both became "not religious but spiritual" middle class liberals
>didn't take me to church as a kid
>only went to unitarian church for not even a full year
>never read the Bible
>parents gave me Phillip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series (and I know what Christians think about it) in 4th or 5th grade and I loved it the steampunk metaphysical sci-fi was cool
>because no religious background I had no idea how subversive it was
>became edgy atheist in 5th grade because it was what all my friends were doing and I didn't like the idea of Jewish grandmother being in Hell
>eventually switch from atheism to "spiritual but not following any organized belief" so I wouldn't get kicked out of Boy Scouts
>became Chaplain's Aide and was actually pretty good at it
High School:
>got heavily into the New Age movement
<Spirit Science
<Flower of Life
<Kundalini
<auras
<astral projection
<Akashic Records
<crystal healing
>find the Armageddon Conspiracy website now that one's a doozy and adopt some weird variation of Gnosticism that involves the worship of math and souls reincarnating until they become gods
>realize I have no idea what the fcuk I believe so switch back to atheism
>become degenerate with weed and masturbation
>still hold onto the becoming gods part, but apply it to the species as a whole
College:
>decide to reconnect with Jewish heritage
>start hanging out with Orthodox Jews and they seem pretty based
>also discover /pol/ and learn about all the bad shit Jews have done
>still hang out with Orthodox Jews
>do a damn good job hiding power level for 2 years
>get involved in Meme Magic and the Cult of Kek
>at first I do it because it's funny
>then became only semi-ironic
at the height of my autism I made a meme magic thread on 4/pol/ to cast a curse on the globalists
>now beginning to feel an interest in Esoteric Hitlerism
At that point I knew I'd gone too far
I know I'm WAY off the reservation with this,
Where do I even start?
Appreciate you helo