/christian/ - Christian Discussion and Fellowship

>>576378

>I don't feel worthy of salvation at all, or worth saving

You’re not. The fact that you’re not worthy is ‘’why’’ you need salvation. If you were worthy on your own merits, you could just soar to Heaven right now. You need salvation because you are such a despicable sinner

>For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. (James 2:10)

Read the story of David. One of the greatest men who ever lived, filled with the Holy Spirit. He was a man who wrote one of the longest and most central books of The Bible. He prophesied Christ repeatedly, and was worthy of being an ancestor of Jesus Christ. And even he was a miserable sinner who let a man die so he could sleep with his wife. Are you more worthy of salvation than David? You have all his bad works, yet you can’t even do his good works. Follow this formula

>Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed. (Matthew 8:8)

Pray to God for salvation. Tell him you are unworthy of his blessing, but that you need him. Ask him to speak the word and save you. Pray every day. God will save you, he loves you! You need to be saved, you’re not worthy of it

>>576378

Are you currently part of a church community? If not, join a church, you need that support, and will also find that you are not alone in your troubles.

Find someone in the church to talk to, whether a priest, confessor, or a fellow layperson.

I'm praying for you.

>Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

>Galatians 6:2

>>576385

I have prayed, I really have. Repeatedly, though not every day. And some things have changed. I'm a considerably less unbearably depressed now, and I've made some friends, but I still think I resent God. Which is terribly unhealthy, but deep down I know that I still wish I could just stop existing, but I actually wouldn't. because God doesn't just let souls stop existing because they want to. On top of that the soul destroying habit I just can't seem to kick is still there.

>>576388

I was raised a prot, but recently I've warmed up to the catholic church. I don't know which is right, but I've seen the fragmentation and heresy in protestant churches that have made me wonder if Luther was a mistake. I've been to Mass once, I found it a bit odd with the lack of a sermon or equivalent. But anyway, I know I need to talk to someone. I dunno how. I can't just go up to someone and say "hey I've got this gigantic load of baggage that needs unloading." Pastors and priests already have a full plate of things to do is what I was always told.

Thanks for praying for me, I dunno why but that really hit me.

A very common problem brother. Now, the first step is to let go. It's easy to get very legalistic, it got to the point where I was wondering if it was a sin to read a swear word in my mind.

You have a lot of time to improve, about 100 years in fact - so don't beat yourself so much.

Pray when you feel like praying, read the Bible when you feel like reading, so none of it is forced.

Love is first for God, not discipline. If you haven't got to the point of being a Saint, do not worry.

Nobody is worth of salvation, but the least you can do is enjoy the life God gave you as God is not autistic. He understands that we need more time and more help than an Angel does.

Things will improve then fall back through your whole life. If you were a Saint from day 1 you wouldn't appreciate being one later on.

Those terrible habits will cease over time. Focus on doing things because you love God, and not because you fear Hell or do what you were told to do.

I hope I helped fam. Keep in mind at what time we live, it's easy to lose faith, and wanting to improve is already a great sign of your future.

I.X

>>576393

Spiritual formation is what the clergy do. If the priest was mad busy helping out someone new in trouble, the congregation would be happy, not sad. We support them to allow them to do that. Go to the liturgy and talk to the priest after.

Note two things during the liturgy - we admit that we are in a church full of sinners, and that none of us are worthy to make it on our own.

>>576393

> Pastors and priests already have a full plate of things to do is what I was always told.

They exist to help you. Nothing of what they have on their plate is more important than you.

>>576378

>I was seeing a secular shrink, but when I told her about this stuff she just said that it was ok and that I shouldn't feel bad. I don't really know what to do.

I hate this. Most people these days seem completely incapable of understanding guilt and shame, like they have no conviction at all. They think that if nobody cares, your sin doesn't matter. They act like you're weird for wanting to be better.

>sometimes I think things are improving but I always slip back.

I hate to break this to you, but that's life. If you really care about your own virtue then you will be consistently disappointed with yourself. The real trick of things is learning to expect yourself to fail, and to plan for it. Avoid risky situations, take measures to stop yourself from sinning, and when you fall down, get back up and dust yourself off. Keep pushing yourself and don't dwell on your failures.

>>576378

Just keep trying and never stop, even when you falter. That's all God wants you to do.

>>576402

>I hate this.

Me too. She ended up moving away shortly later which was good because I don't think she could have helped me much more. Her replacement was worse, I saw him once and we had a discussion about evil. He didn't agree that betrayal was in the category of evil or "always bad" (but racism, sexism, and homophobia are!). So I decided not to see him anymore.

>>576378

Sounds like you're slipping into total depravity. You may not want to Read Romans 8-9 for while.

>>576393

>I've been to Mass once, I found it a bit odd with the lack of a sermon or equivalent.

There was supposed to be a sermon after the reading from the gospels, I don't know why your priest skipped it that time. Maybe you went to a weekday mass?

>>576414

I don't think I am slipping into it, but the danger's there. I can feel the strong temptation to just say "fuck it, I'm a sinner, I will always be a sinner and I am beyond redemption and doing anything productive." Which would perhaps end up that way.

>>576457

It was on Sunday. Maybe I'm used to the Presbyterian sermons which last 20 minutes to half an hour, but there certainly didn't seem to be anything like that.