I think, anon, that your initial idea of how to defeat lust was quite misguided. Your response is of the same vein as the heretical teacher Origen who castrated himself so that he would be free of it (which is a horrific sin – a way of cheating your way out of temptation by mutilating the temple of the Holy Spirit). To avoid being tempted by women, you began to hate femininity and womanhood itself, which is unhealthy and unnatural. Remember that God made women just as men, to be joined with him as his helper. Femininity is itself a blessed and holy thing. In your quest to avoid fornication, you've begun loathing a holy thing.
Your first step should be to try and re-normalize yourself. Hedonism should never, ever be something that you should allow to fester in your life, and neither should you let your taste in women essentially be defined by an implicit hatred of all things female. If it took months for you to reach this point, stop indulging your fantasies of androgyny and banish the thoughts that come to you with a prayer.
Pray that God might take away this burden from you. That he might enlighten your darkened heart so that you might not hate what He has made, and that you might find a chaste and feminine woman.
>>534375
Good response.
>>534380
Bad response.