/builders/ - Hero and Nation Builders!

>>29911

Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson

Home State: Pennsylvania

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

>>29911

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

Home State: Alabama

Political Party: The Conformicans

Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

Candidate Name: Bobbie Bobson

Home State:Colorado

Political Party:neo-reformatist green democrat

Fluff: Bobbie has one focus in his political campaign. Saving the trees. But unlike those other pussy parties he wants to institute a death penalty to anyone who harms nature in any way. Because your life is worth far less than that weed you just pulled dickwad.

>>30007

Where the fuck did my name go?

>>30008

Illuminati did this

>>29913

+Map Color: Prison Orange

+Bonus: [Viral Mugshot] rolls of 63 are counted as 90+ rolls. Everyone falls for the eyes in your mugshot…

>>29914

+Map Color: Gorilla Silver

+Bonus: Kickstarter Funds - Every odd turn you gain [1] Funding

>>29916

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

>>29917

+Map Color: Unmarked Green Man Green

+Bonus: Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

>>29918

+Map Color: Shekel Gold

+Bonus: Holocaust Shield - Opponents that fail rolls directly against you always lose political support, because they are clearly NAZIs.

Israel isn't a State of the Union - no home state bonus. Good Goy!

>>29919

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

>>29924

+Map Color: School Desk Brown

+Bonus: No You're a Conspiracy - Opponents that fail rolls in a state where you hold a minority of counties (but not zero) will be cursed with a conspiracy for 3 turns.

>>29925

+Map Color: Republican Red

+Bonus: The Alamo of Conservative Values - you are immune to penalties in traditionally 'red' states, minus the vital 'swing' states. Penalties are doubled in any traditionally 'blue' states, minus 'swing' states.

>>29927

+Map Color Democratic Blue

+Bonus: Feel the Burn - You gain double counties in traditionally 'blue' states, minus 'swing' states, and half the number in traditionally 'red' states, again minus 'swing' states.

>>29928

+Map Color: Moose Brown

+Bonus: Jumping Girls on Trampolines - Critical successes give you a permanent +5 to in-person campaign rolls, while critical failures provide the opposite.

>>29929

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

>>29954

+Map Color: Hot Pink

+Bonus: It was me! DIO! - You steal the results of anyone that rolls the same number as your first action, in addition to your own action, for good or bad. (can not activate more than once per turn, or on the same opponent two turns in a row)

>>29983

+Map Color: Mary J. Green

+Bonus: Sea Shepherd Support - Every turn ending with a 0 or 5, you gain a free sabotage roll against an opponent of your choice.

>>30005

+Map Color: Nanite Pink

+Bonus: NANOMACHINES, SON - You are immune to assassination attempts, but suffer a penalty against snakes.

>>30007

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

>Rules in a few moments

Rolled 55, 79 = 134 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

1,2. Goddamn Yankees better stay out of my home state. Let's do some speeches to rally support in my good ol' home Alabama. Playing my rally theme "Sweet Home Alabama" at every one.

Rolled 14, 41 = 55 (2d100)

>>30141

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

1. Massachusetts is an important state in my strategy. It has historically voted in favor of more government control, and would get me ten votes in the electoral college. Since it's my home state, I have an obvious advantage. I think that holding a rally could be good for me there, since I already have some name recognition. I've also prepared a speech.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iswq0SWBRFA

"Citizens of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. This year marks a turning point in the fortunes of our great nation. Look around you at the drivel that has been shoveled into our lives. A multitude of insane candidates are vying for the most important office in the world, with goals ranging from appeasement of foreign powers, to capital punishment for the slightest environmental infractions. Why, then, should we allow this to continue? How many more elections must pass for us to realize that our current political structure invites lowlives, weaklings, madmen, and beasts to make our government their plaything? The people of Massachusetts have always been forward thinking, and rationally minded people. Do you see the path forward, into a new golden age? I do. I see a nation changed fundamentally, recreated from the ground up. I see the old order cast down and burned. But right now, this vision is a distant dream. Right now, I see an ailing nation which can be cured with the tonic of authority and steel. I see factions, parties, and demagogues bickering and fighting over the choicest cuts of a majestic beast which yet draws breath. Are we to sit here, and let our nation be divided? Are we to watch our country, the only superpower left in the world, be eclipsed by foreign interests? No! Never! Put your faith in me. Put your faith in the authority of a leader who can unify and rebuild. Put your faith in a man who can put an end to factionalism and internal strife. Above all else, put your faith in the future. Put your faith in our dream. Thank you, Massachusetts." [+15 home state bonus]

2. Next up is my nationwide ad campaign. Our first ad will highlight the ills of society, and how they are caused by factionalism, and the excessive freedoms which politicians are awarded. With behavior like this allowed and encouraged, the nation is being ripped apart. Only a strong leader, with conviction and love for the country can unite the nation, destroy corruption, and ensure the safety and happiness of the citizenry.

>>30144

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

Rolled 9, 9 = 18 (2d100)

>>30140

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

1. Campaign within the state of Kansas.

+15

2. Set up a series of youtube video campaigns of my personal greatness, filmed by my slaves. Meow.

Rolled 9, 62 = 71 (2d100)

>>30140

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

1. Now uh, I know y'all are uh, probably wondering how elections are won. Elections in the modern day are just, they're just garbage, just, putrid garbage, just a barrel of– a barrel of, of MEMES, even. What you gotta do, kids, you gotta– you gotta emphathize with people. Y'know? You gotta empathize. You gotta focus on your roots. Y'know. Even if those roots are a little– a little coinslot-y…

[Frank tries mustering up Asian support in California.]

2. Now, Hawaii is a beautiful place. Beautiful. Nice brown girls, nice, nice pineapples. You got that, you got a little bit of, little bit of Hawaiian punch pussy, y'namsayin? Gotta get that shaka brah, y'know, that hang-ten, namsayin'?

[Frank begins campaigning in Hawaii.]

>>30151

Change Action 1 to simply mustering up Asian support.

>>30142

Action 1 should cover rallies I can't attend in person, but we're holding just rallies this turn, regardless.

>>30150

1. Tour campuses in Vermont

+15 to rolls

>>30156

the picture accurately represents my reaction to these rolls

Rolled 64, 35 = 99 (2d100)

>>30140

>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson Home State: PennsylvaniaPolitical Party: IndependentFluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1: Darius's campaign starts off in his home state of Pennsylvania where he will start off doing rallies across the state.

2:The rallies lead up to a huge rally in Philadelphia. This rally is to bring up the issues of the systemic failures of the prison system. "The prison system in this country is broken. I should know, I've been through it. They are overcrowded and underfunded. I'm not here today to begin advocating that child molesters and rapists get to stay in 5 star hotels where they get jerked off with tax payer money. I'm here to find alternative management strategies for handling low threat priority crimes. Why should a man busted for marijuana be forced to stay with convicted murderers and crimelords? Then once their sentence is over they will struggle to find work due to their history. If this is not the sign of a broken system then I don't know what is!"

Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>30144

Funding roll

Rolled 19, 81 = 100 (2d100)

>>30147

Candidate Name: Richie $ Rich

Home State: Florida

Political Party: Republican

Fluff: Richie Rich is the richest boy in the world.

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

>>30164

"In today's news, Richie Rich, while swimming on his private stretch of the Rich Bay (formerly Tampa Bay) uncovered three lost spanish galleon's containing several tons of aztec and incan golden artifacts"

Funds: 10

1. Richie Rich starts his campaign heading to the nearest city. He decides to buy up all the slums and convert them all into 5 start apartment accomodations. He also then buys the nearby suburbs and does the same.

He promises to do this to all of America if elected president.

2. Richie Rich hires three private robotics companies to develop him super robot body guards.

>>30166

Please see >>30141

and read the CAPSLOCK statement.

>>30167

Ah, woops. Let me fix this.

>>30165

Note: Targeting the state of Florida (to gain a county). Not sure if action #1 counts as the "general campaign" action but I intended it to be.

Any player that has not posted within roughly ~16 hours will not be updated and will not be granted a make-up turn.

>>30145

In case anyone was wondering, 1441 was the year that Jan van Eyck died, and King's College was founded in Cambridge.

>>30205

til

>>30156

+Map Color: Hot Pink

+Bonus: It was me! DIO! - You steal the results of anyone that rolls the same number as your first action, in addition to your own action, for good or bad. (can not activate more than once per turn, or on the same opponent two turns in a row)

for reference

>>30148

Confirmed Nine Lives, random is secretly a cat behind that monitor of his.

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>30151

uh oh…

Rolled 86, 76 = 162 (2d100)

>>30440

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

1. Campaign within the state of Kansas.

+15

2. Set up a series of youtube video campaigns of my personal greatness, filmed by my slaves. Meow.

Rolled 48, 88 = 136 (2d100)

>>30440

>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson Home State: PennsylvaniaPolitical Party: IndependentFluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1-2: Darius's next move is to begin campaigning in New York City where he knows he'll have a sympathetic audience.

"As someone who has lost a lot of time in my life I understand the value of time. During my prison sentence I missed my daughters birth and graduation. I missed my fathers funeral. I missed 4 elections. I understand the value of time. I know how quickly you can lose it if you aren't careful. This is why, when, not if WHEN, I become president I will not waste my time, and I will not waste America's time! I won't sit on my thumb for four years while wasting my time making sure I'm reelected."

Rolled 52, 83 = 135 (2d100)

>>30440

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

[-20 to campaigning on the West Coast, 3 turns]

1. I haven't put out a video for the fans in a while. The fans're what'll win me this election, tell you what. AT least, uh, at least the ones, y'know, over 18. If you're NOT over 18, just bug your parents, bug your teacher, bug Mr. Brooks who plays cave explorer with you when your parnets aren't home, y'know, bug THEM to vote FRANK.

(Frank begins pumping out internet videos to net him support across America's younger voterbase)

2. Now uh, c'mon, you know Papa Franku got that good shit, I've got the policies, the, -experience-, to rewrite America, man, you know, no more hate crime, no more rapes, no more school shootings, and gallons of pussy. All I need, y'know, is CASH.

(Frank musters up campaign funds from Hawaii. +15 Home State Bonus)

Rolled 100, 20 = 120 (2d100)

>>30440

>>30159

Candidate Name: Schlomo Goldberg

Home State: Israel

Political Party: Democratz, Shekel Shakedown Bonanza

Fluff: Fresh off the Tel Aviv Holocaust Genetics Homeboard™ from the selected sperm of 20 million holocaust survivors and an artificial womb grafted from the ashes of Anne Frank, Schlomo came out a grown man right off the test tube. Pleasant and handy except for his nose this candidate has been carefully chosen to represent the chosen ones' interests. Never forgetting to add a few lines of holocaust remembrance every two phrases, this candidate's mediatic influence and literally unending supply of shekels has lead him to be hyped as the anti-christ everyone's been waiting for. Death of a race and perennial enslavement awaits you all, what are you waiting for??? Vote now and be good goy!

+Map Color: Shekel Gold

+Bonus: Holocaust Shield - Opponents that fail rolls directly against you always lose political support, because they are clearly NAZIs.

Israel isn't a State of the Union - no home state bonus. Good Goy!

Funds: 4

1. Make up more speeches with fake crowds and the occasional 26-year old Holocaust survivor. [Expand in New York]

2. Dance the Mitzvah before my bank account screen as I see my Bank Masters print more money for me. [Gather more Funds]

Rolled 95, 96 = 191 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

1. Onwards to Florida, rallies upon rallies! Let the people know that we WILL take back the north so deserved by our great American people.

+Manifest Destiny

2. We'll put up some fliers and start putting up signs for the BIG JIM MILITIA, a neighborhood watch program enforced by me, Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III.

+Manifest Destiny

Rolled 10 (1d10)

Rolling for funds

>>30440

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

1. With such a fortuitous break in Florida, I can concentrate my efforts there. If a swing state is picking up my propaganda and running with it, then I will focus my attention there. A speech in the middle of a bustling metropolitan area should do me some good.

"The state of Florida has been one which candidates bicker and fight over every four years. Every cycle, you all get so many phone calls, television commercials, internet advertisements, and whatnot, urging you to vote for some man or another. How would you like it if all of that stopped? No more advertisements, no more candidate visits gumming up the streets, and no more damnable politics. If you elect me, we can ensure that no more candidates come to Florida, and trouble you again."

2. With a bit of wind in my sails, I can return to my home state of Massachusetts. With a few rewordings and a new location, my speech will surely blow away the competition. [+15 home state bonus]

Rolled 35, 81 = 116 (2d100)

>>30545

wut de fug :D

Rolled 59, 41 = 100 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

+ Zimmerman's Watch (Lasts 3 Turns) - Ain't no one going to UNMANIFEST your gains in Florida. Your Militias will stand their ground! [Counties in Florida are immune to take-over by opponents]

+ Snowbirds (Lasts 3 Turns) - Migratory residents of Florida are often registered to vote in their home states… +5 to all rolls.

1. Time to make our move on Georgia, a state that knows the true meaning of America. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire great city of Atlanta, no, the entire state practiced their right to bear arms by meeting me, Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III, with all their guns at the Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III Big American Rally. GO AMERICA.

+Manifest Destiny (+20)

+Snowbirds (+5)

2. Did you know that 100% of all Americans deserve more land, and the government CAN give it to them if we take Canadia's land for the American people, it's rightful owners as stated in the bible. We're going to spend our time handing out these actual factual pamphlets for all people to see.

+Manifest Destiny (+20)

+Snowbirds (+5)

Rolled 18, 47 = 65 (2d100)

>>30550

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

[-20 to campaigning on the West Coast, 2 turns]

Funds: 8

1. North Dakota's a pretty, uh, a pretty nice state. You got lots of– lots of land. Land, nigga. -Land-.

(Frank focuses his efforts on North Dakota.) + 2 Funds

2. While we're campaigning in North Dakota, hey, why don't we go ahead and hit up those– those bears 'n caribou, namsayin? Alaska. Land of oil and Sarah fuckin' Palin. Alaska's got some, it's got some of my people. Y'know. The Japanese. Y'know, all, "nippon de dashimashite".

(Frank musters up support in Alaska.) +2 Funds

1.

>>30555

The app will be called "The ILLUMINator"! It will help people detect Illuminati, Russians, Globalists, and Sociopaths.

Rolled 21, 6 = 27 (2d100)

>>30550

>>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson Home State: PennsylvaniaPolitical Party: IndependentFluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1:Darius's campaign team begins to start campaigning in Illinois with a series of ads showing Darius's philosophical ideals and kind side.

2: Darius continues to secure the Pennsylvanian vote

Rolled 36, 50 = 86 (2d100)

>>30550

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 2

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+meow mix - 2 funds per turn

1. Continue campaigning through Kansas

+15

2. Take a nice cat nap on the windowsill

Rolled 84, 52 = 136 (2d100)

>>30562

>>30563

I feel like the challenge should be a separate roll from actions, but if the host wants it to be that way then this is fine

>>30564

agreed. After BOTH candidates agree to the terms and stakes, you may roll.

I'll allow either a 1d100 roll-off or a 2d100 roll-off, figure it out!

>>30562

I'll count the 84 as a roll to campaign in a state of your choice.

a 1d100 would be best.

>>30567

sounds good 1d100 it is

>>30569

>69 and doubles roll

Man Guy cemented as a man or incredible gets

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>30569

rollan niggaw

>>30574

How many of these fucking pictures do you have?

Rolled 88, 89 = 177 (2d100)

>>30550

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

1. This is unacceptable! However, a king does not get mad. A king gets even, and then he gets ahead. "Big Jim"'s holdings in Florida may be immune to takeover, and his home state of Alabama may be temporarily unassailable, but if we can capture and hold Mississippi, Tennesee, and Georgia, we can contain his threat. However, I won't be able to do it alone… [Begin campaigning in Georgia.]

2. Now that Massachusetts is under my control, I can try to squeeze some funds from the groups there. [Get campaign funds from Mass.]

>>30560

>>30552

"Mister Harambe, Mister Whiskers. I write to you now to discuss a matter of utmost importance. I speak of the threat of "Big Jim". His meteoric rise to power in Florida, a key swing state, is concerning, to say the least. I think it would be in all of our interest to contain his threat to the two states in which he currently holds a majority. If Harambe were to campaign in Tennesee, Whiskers were to campaign in Missisippi, and I were to campaign in Georgia, we could trap him, and begin to attack his holdings in his currently held states. This is not, of course, a truce of any kind between us. It is merely an agreement to deal with an imminent, looming threat. Unless we act, Jim will take over the entire country like a jet powered steamroller. I might remind you, Mister Whiskers, that Louisiana is an abutting state to Missisippi, which is in imminent danger from Jim's holdings in Alabama. In addition, Ohio isn't too far removed from Alabama either. Together, we can knock him out of the race, and earn ourselves some states in the process."

>>30575

I just make them on the spot from google image search. He's been on the air for like 20 years so there's a considerable backlog.

Rolled 10 (1d10)

Rolling for funds

>>30767

100th Post bonus!

result is doubled to 20 funds.

>>30769

This is memery! Unadulterated memery!

Rolled 98, 44 = 142 (2d100)

>>30861

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 4

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+meow mix - 2 funds per turn 1 turns

1. Continue campaigning through Kansas

+15

2. Begin once again to have my slaves put enthralling videos on the internet. I require more slaves. "Meow"

Rolled 45, 41 = 86 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

+ Zimmerman's Watch (Lasts 2 Turns) - Ain't no one going to UNMANIFEST your gains in Florida. Your Militias will stand their ground! [Counties in Florida are immune to take-over by opponents]

+ Snowbirds (Lasts 2 Turns) - Migratory residents of Florida are often registered to vote in their home states… +5 to all rolls.

1. Continue on Georgia, and remind the voters that RICHIE ISN'T LEGALLY OLD ENOUGH TO RUN, HE'S NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO SERVE OUR GLORIOUS AMERICAN MILITARY'S MARCH ON CANADA!

+Manifest Destiny (+20)

+Snowbirds (+5)

2. Send some of the BIG JIM RALLY TROOPERS over to California, a place of major interest. Did you know California will be a critical choke point in defending against invaders who believe it is their holy right to claim GOOD AMERICAN SOIL FROM US TRUE AMERICANS? The "Big Jim Rambo: Get a Gun Foundation" will be a prominent selling point here.

+Snowbirds (+5)

Rolled 81, 40 = 121 (2d100)

>>30861

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

[-20 to campaigning on the West Coast, 1 turns]

Funds: 4

1. Wh– are you fucking kidding me? A fucking Gorilla? What are you, retarded? No, that's not happening. I'm not letting some gorilla take my presidency, mayne.

Frank steps up with an aggressive campaign in North Dakota.

2. You know who hates– hates gorillas? Alaskans. They'll kill them and eat them like that– like that polar bear. Namsayin?

Frank musters up more Alaskan support.

Rolled 25, 4 = 29 (2d100)

>>30861

>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson Home State: PennsylvaniaPolitical Party: IndependentFluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1:Darius's campaign party continues to try to appeal to the Illinois people. "The only candidate who won't metaphorically stab you in the back."

2: Darius continues to try and garner support in his home state of Pennsylvania and to beat off jones

Rolled 3 (1d10)

Funds

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>30873

Derp

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>30874

Rolled 3, 7 = 10 (2d100)

>>30877

"Yare yare yare…BEGONE DIO"

>>30877

>>30884

BREAKING NEWS!

"Good evening everyone, this is Ron Burgundy with breaking news in the classiest mess of a presidential election ever. Candidate MAN GUY has been hospitalized after an assassination attempt by another Candidate yelling about 'STANDU POWERU' and driving what appeared to be a… really, Frank? Do you really think that I'd just read 'teleporting steamroller' on national television? You've got to be -bleeping- kidding me."

[Technical Difficulties]

>>30886

"It was certainly a Bizarre situation I found myself in" says Man Guy when reporters asked for a statement.

>>30886

>MAN GUY

+A Bizarre Assassination Adventure - Having survived a rather odd assassination attempt, your standing with the people increases as you become linked to various other victims of attempted, and successful assassinations. +5 to one non-personal action per turn.

+Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>DIO

DIO has been eliminated from the game as former supporters curse his sudden, but admittedly inevitable, betrayal.

Rolled 98, 42 = 140 (2d100)

>>30861

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

GA: 16

Funds: 22

+Taxation with Representation (2 Turns) - Sales of your promotional tea blend are filling the King's Coffers. 2 Funds per turn.

1/2. Secret Service be damned. That upstart "Man Guy" cannot be allowed to live. His momentum is a threat to everyone in this campaign. [Assassinate Man Guy] [Spend 20 funds for a +100]

Rolled 34, 28 = 62 (2d100)

>>30924

I Will. I am. Man Guy.

Rolled 54, 77 = 131 (2d100)

>>30925

>>30934

>these fucking crazies trying to kill people

test for boobs

``test``

test

>>30925

>>30934

>>30935

BREAKING NEWS

"Tragic evening, Nation! This is Stephen Colbert coming to you live from this scene of chaos and concentrated un-Americanism in the heart of America. We're on the roof of the Burger King across the street from the hospital where Candidate MAN GUY is recovering from the earlier attempt upon his rather manly life."

[Bursts of gunfire erupt in the background. Stephen and the camera move over toward a rather average looking man ducking behind an air conditioning unit]

"Sir, sir! May I have a moment of your time while you exercise your god-given second amendment right against the Secret Service? No, no, sir, you have to use the magazine release first. There you go."

"Thanks buddy. I've got a minute."

[The man begins reloading two magazines for his rifle]

"Now sir, why are you attacking the Secret Service? It just seems like a poor method of protesting taxes."

"What? No, no, we're here to kill MAN GUY. He is a threat to our future. The Secret Service is just in the way."

"Oh, so this is political protest? Duck!"

[Stephen, the man and the camera all duck as rounds impact around them.]

"Yeah, sort of. Also, can I say hi to my mom?"

"Sure, why not."

"Hi mom!"

"Isn't live television great, folks? Oh, wow! Speaking of great, it seems that we have a surprise guest star. Richard Dean Anderson, everybody!"

"Oh wow, Richard Dean Anderson!? I loved you in SG-1!"

"Thank you Stephen and, uhh, what is your name?"

"Kevin, Mr Anderson. Is this, uh, a bad time to ask for an autograph?"

"Sort of, but why the hell not? We only live once, after all. Here, Kevin, let me hold that for you."

[Kevin hands the rifle to Mr Anderson, along with a partially loaded magazine, allowing Kevin to search for a pen and something to sign.]

"Mr MacGyver, do you have time for an interview, or are you going to help Kevin here reload for his political protest?"

"Sure, Stephen. I can reload in my sleep after my time on the set of SG-1 and training camps with the United States Air Force."

"Mr MacGuyver, what is your opinion of this whole situation? Kevin here says he is protesting against Candidate Man Guy and his secret service protection."

"Well, Stephen, I know this whole situation is upsetting to my daughter. She is a big Man Guy fan. As such, I've decided that I needed to get a few things. Potassium, soda water, a few plastic bottles, some nails and cutlery. Always carry a swiss army knife, Stephen."

[Kevin pauses in the background before noticing Mr Anderson is pointing a weapon at him.]

"Now if you'll excuse me, Stephen. I have to go save the candidate that makes my daughter happy."

[Richard Dean Anderson proceeds to wage a one-man war against approximately 74 people attempting to kill Man Guy]

Rolled 98, 25 = 123 (2d100)

>>31251

[TURN 4 Cont.]

> Richie Rich

The poor folk of Louisiana are too busy to listen to your campaign. Looks like a Category 5 Hurricane is heading toward the Gulf, and Louisiana…

A bizarre incident involving a BP oil rig and one of your vessels claims the lives of those guys that built the Dubai islands. Also, there may be a minor ecological disaster in the making.

-Those guys that built those islands in Dubai

> Victor American

The operation at sea is a success, but Texas has become terribly hostile. Who the hell gave that baby a Campaign TT-30? Someone is getting sent to the gulag for this! Oh no, that damned Jones has begun to run with this failure…

+ Good Night and Good Luck (You're gonna need it) (3 turns) - Texans everywhere are up in arms as video of the TT-30 given to the baby is spread by that damned Jones! Oh shit, is that a mob? -10 to all actions in or including Texas, and your home state bonus is disabled.

-2 Texas Counties

>National Events

+ Hurricane Bazrael (3 Turns) - A massive hurricane has formed and is heading toward the Gulf of Mexico. Citizens in the region scramble to prepare for the worst, evacuate, and pray. All campaigns suffer -10 to campaigning actions as meteorologists across the country suddenly become relevant.

+ Secret Service Investigation (3 Turns) - The Secret Service is investigating the large scale attack upon Candidate MAN GUY, citing the unusually high number of well equipped but poorly trained assassins. Flags across the nation fly at half-staff. ???

>National Event Rolls

Rolled 34, 68 = 102 (2d100)

>>31251

>>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson

Home State: Pennsylvania

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1:Darius's campaign team continues their tireless crusade to capture Illinois

2: "You know what. Fine. I've tried my damn hardest to be the upstanding citizen. To be the man that deserves to be president. But that's not what you want america is it. No when i look at this carnival fuck fest you all call an election, all I see is a carnival. Is that what you want? You want blood? I'll give you blood."

Darius goes on a crime spree throughout Pennsylvania and Delaware attempting to garner attention to his campaign. Everything from petty theft to battery.

>>31251

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

Funds: 4

1. "A hurricane. Well, FUCK. You know in Japan we call hurricanes "kamikaze," y'know, divine wind, y'know, it's that– it's that stuff from the Kami. I'll also be like a divine wind– sweeping over the midwest, you know what I'm sayin'?

Frank keeps campaigning in North Dakota.

2. "They don't call me Chef for nothing. I can make-a mean-a squirrel stew or rat burrito. It's– it's my mom's recipe. Y'know? Her recipe. Here, I'll show you, I'll go on CNN, I'll show the– the people about to be hit by a hurricane, how to make a meal out of rats 'n squirrels if they're getting, y'know, getting some of that hurricane dick."

Go on CNN, do a special in-person segment on how to prepare GOURMET food on rats and squirrels and other shit like that.

Y'know. For the hurricane victims.

Spend 2 Funds.

Rolled 95, 84 = 179 (2d100)

>>31264

PINK GUY!

PINK GUY GET ME MY FUCKING DICE!

PINK GUY STOP PUTTING THEM IN YOUR ASS! STOP!

Rolled 63, 7 = 70 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

+ Zimmerman's Watch (Lasts 1 Turns) - Ain't no one going to UNMANIFEST your gains in Florida. Your Militias will stand their ground! [Counties in Florida are immune to take-over by opponents]

+ Snowbirds (Lasts 1 Turns) - Migratory residents of Florida are often registered to vote in their home states… +5 to all rolls.

1. It's taking a long time to convince Georgia of my superior American ideals. They need a good old fashioned MILITIA, as granted to us by one of those amendments. God, America is great, and I will be doing a gun signing in several counties to remind them of how great America is.

+Manifest Destiny (+20)

+Snowbirds (+5)

2. Better call the boys back from California too. They'd do well to hand out flyers and the like advertising my gun signings. Get the word out there that I don't represent those big-wig government yankees, I represent the people.

+Manifest Destiny (+20)

+Snowbirds (+5)

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>31251

Candidate Name: Man Guy

Home State: Maine

Political Party: The Man's Party

Fluff: Women want him men want to be him.

He is simply, The Man.

+Map Color: Moose Brown

+Bonus: Jumping Girls on Trampolines - Critical successes give you a permanent +5 to in-person campaign rolls, while critical failures provide the opposite. Currently +5

Counties:

Maine; 17 MAINE CAPTURED

New Hampshire; 9 NEW HAMPSHIRE CAPTURED

Wisconsin; 60

Michigan; 4

Washington; 8

California; 12

Funds: 0

+ Bodyguard - Richard Dean Anderson: That is right, ladies. MacGuyver himself has thrown his support behind Candidate MAN GUY, going so far as to pledge his life to protect the candidate from future assassination attempts. Between his TV fame, charity work, and his honorary rank as a USAF Brigadier General, RDA brings a sweeping heir of legitimacy to MAN GUY's campaign. +Large Defense vs Assassination. +5 to non-personal campaign rolls.

+ A Bizarre Assassination Adventure 2: Assassination Boogaloo - Having survived a rather odd assassination attempt, followed by another, your standing with the people increases as you become linked to various other victims of attempted, and successful assassinations. +10 to one non-personal action per turn.

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

+ They Still Shot Your Ass (3 turns) - That last attack has left you severely wounded. Your campaign has lost some focus, and you are unable to personally campaign. -1 action per turn, and no personal campaign actions.

1 Campaign in California. Though wounded Man Guy continues to gather strength "I am becoming stronger." +15

>>31280

DIO, WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE MASK

Rolled 86, 92 = 178 (2d100)

>>31251

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 6

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+The Internet is Not Enough (3 turns) - Campaigning in cat is the meow, kitten. Adoring fans offering you treats, toys and even head and chin scratching. This is the life, and you can even claw a few of them and avoid blame! +15 to all non-internet rolls.

1. A dirty monkey thinks he may take my slaves, in my own home state? I must go there in purrson and show them why they worship me.

+30

2. Yes, I must meet my new slaves in person. They shall shower me with their devotion with warm cream and chin scratching. Puuurfect. Quickly prime slaves, first flight to Las Vegas.

+15

>>31280

Yes DIO, I Man Guy, have seen through the attacks on my life.

>>31295

Globalists did it

Rolled 88, 23 = 111 (2d100)

>>31251

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

GA: 16

Funds: 2

1. While reading the news, I realized that my assassins, in their eternal incompetence, have attempted to assassinate Man Guy, and not the actual threat, Big Jim. However, while Man Guy's wounded, I can go after his holdings in New Hampshire. The counties can be swayed with a brief speech explaining divine right to rule. If Man Guy were meant to rule, would he be injured by assassins? Would God not protect entirely the man who holds the true claim to the nation? I am the only real choice in this election, and I will lead our country into a new golden age. [Campaign in New Hampshire]

2. If I'm going to remove any opponents, I need more funds. Those assassins would have worked, had I thrown more money into them. Besides, my new target is more poorly guarded. [Collect funds]

Rolled 6 (1d10)

Rolling for funds

Rolled 23, 76 = 99 (2d100)

Candidate Name: Richie $ Rich

Home State: Florida

Political Party: Republican

Fluff: Richie Rich is the richest boy in the world.

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

Funds: 11

+ 'Secret', Bodyguard Fembot

+ 'Mr Roboto', Bodyguard Bot

+ 'Kilroy', Bodyguard Botfr

+A piece of the Sahara Desert

+Fleet of cargo ships and Dredgers

+Vocal support from China

1-2. There's only one thing to do.

START DUMPING THE LAND FOR RICHIA.

That oil spill is just right where Lake Richia is supposed to be in the middle part of the R shaped island. We'll clean it up and make it pretty later, just dump the land to contain the oil spill!

Spend 9 funds

Rolled 83, 49 = 132 (2d100)

>>31251

>Candidate Name: Harambe 2: Electric Boogaloo

>Home State:Cincinnati, Ohio

>Political Party:Independent

>Fluff: He was a clone of Harambe that was funded by the internet and the zoo. However a freak accident given him human like qualities. He went to all the major colleges and basically was shown off to everyone. He read some books, conducted some thesis, and even written about his past life. Now using his intellect, charisma, and cold hard guilt to run for president.

>Map Color: Gorilla Silver

>Bonus: Kickstarter Funds - Every odd turn you gain [1] Funding Improved Kickstarter Funds - 3/4

>88 Ohio Counties!

>2 North Dakota Counties!

>6 Kansas Counties!

>Funding: 1

1. This is a tragic event but we must prevail campaign in Kansas let's make the cat obsolete

2. Continue the internet campaign I want to help others how, well I can try to help them with a few things

>>31329

Only if you tell me where the mask is located, boy.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>31264

>>31265

mirroring roll

Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d11)

>Dance Dance Politics Rolls

>>31519

Thomas Hob and HARAMBE have been challenged by a group of children with cancer to an internet dance competition, for charity.

Both players add:

+Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit.

Rolled 32, 39, 39 = 110 (3d100)

>>31518

>Candidate Name: Harambe 2: Electric Boogaloo

>Home State:Cincinnati, Ohio

>Political Party:Independent

>Fluff: He was a clone of Harambe that was funded by the internet and the zoo. However a freak accident given him human like qualities. He went to all the major colleges and basically was shown off to everyone. He read some books, conducted some thesis, and even written about his past life. Now using his intellect, charisma, and cold hard guilt to run for president.

>Map Color: Gorilla Silver

>Bonus: Improved Kickstarter Funds - Your Kickstarter grows larger! Gain [2] Funds per turn, plus [1] Fund per state that is FOR HARAMBE!

Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit.

>88 Ohio Counties!

>2 North Dakota Counties!

>Funding: 4

1. Sanders still alive in New York, hmm perhaps this must be a challenge and well a battle for the future of the nation as well. Campaign in New York

2. Keep growing my internet campaign I want to do more for my country.

Dance Dance: Harambe with a single tear in his eye decides to set up a camera and dance he's saddened that the children has cancer and wants to help out in whatever he can.

>>31524

2nd roll should be [-5]

Rolled 81, 63 = 144 (2d100)

>>31518

>>>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson

>Home State: Pennsylvania

>Political Party: Independent

>Fluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1: Continue the campaign in illinois

2:"Alright we aren't gonna get any where with the radical Jones supporters holding the back water parts of Pennsylvania. Guess I'll have to step in and "take care of them" so that we can take those districts from him."

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>31518

Candidate Name: Man Guy

Home State: Maine

Political Party: The Man's Party

Fluff: Women want him men want to be him.

He is simply, The Man.

+Map Color: Moose Brown

+Bonus: Jumping Girls on Trampolines - Critical successes give you a permanent +5 to in-person campaign rolls, while critical failures provide the opposite. Currently +10

Counties:

Maine; 17 MAINE CAPTURED

New Hampshire; 3

Wisconsin; 60

Michigan; 4

Washington; 8

California; 26

Funds: 0

+ Bodyguard - Richard Dean Anderson: That is right, ladies. MacGuyver himself has thrown his support behind Candidate MAN GUY, going so far as to pledge his life to protect the candidate from future assassination attempts. Between his TV fame, charity work, and his honorary rank as a USAF Brigadier General, RDA brings a sweeping heir of legitimacy to MAN GUY's campaign. +Large Defense vs Assassination. +5 to non-personal campaign rolls.

+ A Bizarre Assassination Adventure 2: Assassination Boogaloo - Having survived a rather odd assassination attempt, followed by another, your standing with the people increases as you become linked to various other victims of attempted, and successful assassinations. +10 to one non-personal action per turn.

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

+ They Still Shot Your Ass (2 turns) - That last attack has left you severely wounded. Your campaign has lost some focus, and you are unable to personally campaign. -1 action per turn, and no personal campaign actions.

1 California Campaign. "These aimed attacks wont be stopping me, a Man can't give in to such things."

>>31529

+15 from bonuses bu also -15 from meteorologists

Rolled 99, 48 = 147 (2d100)

>>31518

>Candidate Name: Bernie (((Sanders)))

>Home State: Vermont

>Political Party: Neo-Progressive Democratic Union of Socialist

>Fluff: As the primary competitior to Hillary during the Primaries, along with racing next-and-foot- with her until the DNC, it was only natural that Bernie be the one to succeed her once news of her death was heard. With the collapse of the Democratic Party. Finally free of his old bonds, Sanders was able to fulfill his full agenda, the elimination of the White race via interbreeding, and a fully socialist borderline communistic America, and the white majority, afraid of being racist and offensive, would carry him there

+Map Color Democratic Blue

+Bonus: Feel the Burn - You gain double counties in traditionally 'blue' states, minus 'swing' states, and half the number in traditionally 'red' states, again minus 'swing' states.

Counties: +14 Vermont Counties! VERMONT IS FOR SANDERS!

+34 New York Counties!

+ 12 Washington State Counties!

+ 6 Oregon Counties!

Funds: 2

Bad Juju: + The Youth of the Nation (3 Turns) - Your target demographic is riddled with rumors that you're just using them to advance your policies, and that you don't really care about them or their futures. Gasp! They believe you to be a Clinton Croney! 'unclaimed counties' bonus capture disabled.

1. These allegations that I do not care for the young people of America are atrocious and unfounded, and if elected I shall make the care and progress of our youth as one of my prime concerns, for they are our future. And legal weed, make sure to push that.

2. This Hurricane is a tragedy waiting to happen, if our civil services were better funded, and the minorities and poor not so discriminated against, then maybe this wouldn't be so much of a quagmire. Push my support for the poor

Rolled 53, 82 = 135 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

+ Commiforia Influence (3 Turns) - The boys coming back from Commifornia seem… different. Did one of them just talk about social justice? Unacceptable! -10 to your 2nd roll until you've purged your ranks of the infected.

1. Good god this whole thing is a mess, and with the death and assassination attempts on other candidates, trouble is afoot. Nothin to do but hurry up in Georgia…

+20

2. Sure my boys are causing a ruckus, but it's nothing guns can't fix. I'll give them guns and they'll give the people of Georgia guns. The gun economy is what's important here.

+15

Rolled 65, 86 = 151 (2d100)

>>31518

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

Funds: 2

1. "Well, well, well. Looks like we– looks like we got ourselves some publicity! Now let's keep this gravy train going, y'namsayin'?"

Frank continues campaigning in the Dakotas.

2. "Now that I've taught the people how to, how to create their own delicious magniffisimo cuisine, I gotta do the rounds, boy, gotta meet my fans. This time, I teach people how to cook Papa's Toilet Sriracha Shrimp."

Campaign in Mississippi and Louisiana.

Rolled 13, 67 = 80 (2d100)

>>31518

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 6

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+The Internet is Not Enough (2 turns) - Campaigning in cat is the meow, kitten. Adoring fans offering you treats, toys and even head and chin scratching. This is the life, and you can even claw a few of them and avoid blame! +15 to all non-internet rolls.

1. Begin campaigning in Utah. My adoring slaves wish to see my presence.

+15

2. As well begin campaigning in Virginia. The East deserves to bask in my glory as well.

+15

Rolled 100, 47, 25 = 172 (3d100)

>>31518

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

GA: 16

NH: 6

Funds: 2

1. We're making real gains in New Hampshire. With one or two more local media blitzes, we should be able to capture the state.

2. I'm not pleased with the poor performance in fund collection. Were it legal, I'd have someone's head for this failure. However, I am bound by the law, for now. We will continue to attempt to collect funds for the campaign.

3.

>>31523

What is this ridiculousness? A dance competition with a gorilla? This whole thing is beneath me. However, I would lose face if I did not participate. I must simply ensure that I do not lose. I'll see if I can get an orchestra for my performance, which will be an energetic and visually impressive dance, set to bombastic, imperial-sounding music. I shall make a brief television appearance (Paid for by the charity of course. I don't even want to do this.) nominating Man Guy ( >>31529 ) for the next dance competition. It should be entertaining, watching his injured body attempt to execute any kind of complex, physically draining movement.

>>31564

>Conquer New Hampshire

>Collect a few funds

>Don't instantly lose the dance competition

I WAS CHOSEN BY HEAVEN

Rolled 32, 31 = 63 (2d100)

>>31252

Candidate Name: Виктор Американски (Victor American)

Home State: Texas

Political Party: Democrats

Fluff:

Victor American is very American American. You may be fooled by strong majestic Russian accent, no worried. Victor knows what is best for capitalist American monster. Many years in American Ranger Regiment "Alfa Group" make Victor strong and secret American government organization "Fedral Service for Security of United American Federation" make Victor smart.

American spent too much Ruble on guns and tanks. Is bad. Other countries like Glorious Russian Federation not like. Foreign relation is bad. American meddle in other countries affairs. Many Terrorist. Is bad.

Victor will put ruble away from American Imperialist Military and where ruble belong. To you товарищ!

Not believe filthy corrupt capitalists Comrade. Vote Victor American! The only Американски choice!

+Map Color: Unmarked Green Man Green

+Funds: [5]

+Bonus: Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

1. Video of a baby with a TT-30? Americans should be happy that even their youngest are willing to fight for Victor American presidency! Stop running election in Texas? Забавный! Is only all more the reason to elect Victor American in Texan now!

+ Good Night and Good Luck (You're gonna need it) (3 turns) - Texans everywhere are up in arms as video of the TT-30 given to the baby is spread by that damned Jones! Oh shit, is that a mob? -10 to all actions in or including Texas, and your home state bonus is disabled.

2. Indiana fucking Jones was still trying to ruin American campaign in Texan? Maybe his stupid campaign run into trouble in Hurricane? Car out of fuel? Camera Crew go "Poof"? Things happen. But Victor American would not know.

+Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

Rolled 30, 24 = 54 (2d100)

Candidate Name: Richie $ Rich

Home State: Florida

Political Party: Republican

Fluff: Richie Rich is the richest boy in the world.

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

Funds: 11

+ 'Secret', Bodyguard Fembot

+ 'Mr Roboto', Bodyguard Bot

+ 'Kilroy', Bodyguard Botfr

+A piece of the Sahara Desert

+Fleet of cargo ships and Dredgers

+Vocal support from China

1-2. Dump it, Quickly!

We must use the land to quarantine the oil before the Hurricane arrives. If that blows in and the oil is loose it WILL spread!

Surround the oil with land at once.

Rolled 38, 10 = 48 (2d100)

+Candidate Name: Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III

+Home State: Alabama

+Political Party: The Conformicans

+Fluff: Big Jim Rambo was raised on good Christian and God fearing morals, and he knows America was as well. In fact, he believes we've moved away from those traditional morals. Abortion? Wrong. Science? Wrong. Hell, we even got rid of good old fashioned manifest destiny. His platform is change, but the old fashioned kind of change, where you know that those no good ice-spicks up north are squatting on American soil, and they need to be removed. Big Jim Rambo isn't going to let the other candidates push him around the field, either. He will speak his mind and will not crumble.

+Map Color: Trail of Tears Blue

+Bonus: Manifest Destiny - you gain a massive bonus to campaigning in states adjacent to states where you hold a majority of the counties.

+ Commiforia Influence (2 Turns) - The boys coming back from Commifornia seem… different. Did one of them just talk about social justice? Unacceptable! -10 to your 2nd roll until you've purged your ranks of the infected.

1. We're so close, friends, SO CLOSE. Georgia will soon know the true meaning of America, dontcha know? I, Senator Big Jim Rambo Pariah Bravo Hussein Charles III, will soon unite our peoples to face the scourge to the North. People of Georgia, hear my call in the BIG JIM RAMBO MONSTER TRUCK RALLY SUPREME

+20

2. You guys get to work on publicity for the event. Georgia will soon be a truly American state. Hold a book burning or something to get some good publicity. Georgians love book burnings.

+15

Rolled 85, 41 = 126 (2d100)

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 6

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+The Internet is Not Enough (1 turns) - Campaigning in cat is the meow, kitten. Adoring fans offering you treats, toys and even head and chin scratching. This is the life, and you can even claw a few of them and avoid blame! +15 to all non-internet rolls.

1. Continue campaigning in Utah. My adoring slaves wish to see my presence.

+15

2. Continue campaigning in Virginia. The East deserves to bask in my glory as well.

+15

Rolled 64, 46 = 110 (2d100)

Candidate Name: Richie $ Rich

Home State: Florida

Political Party: Republican

Fluff: Richie Rich is the richest boy in the world.

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

Funds: 11

+ 'Secret', Bodyguard Fembot

+ 'Mr Roboto', Bodyguard Bot

+ 'Kilroy', Bodyguard Botfr

+A piece of the Sahara Desert

+Fleet of cargo ships and Dredgers

+Vocal support from China

1-2. Almost there men, just some more land here and some more earth there.

We'll not only contain the spill but the first bits of Richia will be forged as a triumph!

Fight the hurricane and contain the spill. Shore up that land!

Rolled 37, 89 = 126 (2d100)

>>31732

Candidate Name: Francis "Filthy Frank" Filthton

Home State: New York

Political Party: United Chef's Party

Fluff: A world-class chef and beloved societal commentator, Francis Filthton, better known as "Filthy Frank," has humbly and graciously accepted his party's nominee as chaos grips America. Under his leadership, the United States will be forged into a successful, peace-loving, manko-slurping paradise where no human being or black person can be told they can't make cakes out of human vomit.

+Map Color: Filthy Yellow

+Bonus: Yes, Chef! - Critical rolls have a strange way of mirroring in d3 adjacent states.

Funds: 2

1. "You know who likes mama's recipe? You– you know, you know who loves -greens-? Nnnnnnnblack people! African Americans, the good old people of Mississippi."

Campaign heavily in Mississippi.

2. "We're uh, lookin' a little light on cash here. Papa needs his campaign money if he's gonna fund those events for y'all."

Raise campaign funds.

Rolled 71, 14 = 85 (2d100)

>>31732

Candidate Name: Man Guy

Home State: Maine

Political Party: The Man's Party

Fluff: Women want him men want to be him.

He is simply, The Man.

+Map Color: Moose Brown

+Bonus: Jumping Girls on Trampolines - Critical successes give you a permanent +5 to in-person campaign rolls, while critical failures provide the opposite. Currently +10

Counties:

Maine; 17 MAINE CAPTURED

New Hampshire; 3

Wisconsin; 60

Michigan; 0

Washington; 8

California; 38

Funds: 0

+ Bodyguard - Richard Dean Anderson: That is right, ladies. MacGuyver himself has thrown his support behind Candidate MAN GUY, going so far as to pledge his life to protect the candidate from future assassination attempts. Between his TV fame, charity work, and his honorary rank as a USAF Brigadier General, RDA brings a sweeping heir of legitimacy to MAN GUY's campaign. +Large Defense vs Assassination. +5 to non-personal campaign rolls.

+ A Bizarre Assassination Adventure 2: Assassination Boogaloo - Having survived a rather odd assassination attempt, followed by another, your standing with the people increases as you become linked to various other victims of attempted, and successful assassinations. +10 to one non-personal action per turn.

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

+ They Still Shot Your Ass (1 turns) - That last attack has left you severely wounded. Your campaign has lost some focus, and you are unable to personally campaign. -1 action per turn, and no personal campaign actions.

+Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit.

1 Campaign in California. "Push." Push the others out of California. +15

2 Dance Dance Politics. "Hmmm I propose a finger dance, give them a close up on my fingers" The camera moves to a set of well manicured digits and as music starts to play an energetic and possibly interpretive finger dance takes place. +10 personal

Rolled 98, 74, 97 = 269 (3d100)

>>31732

>Candidate Name: Harambe 2: Electric Boogaloo

>Home State:Cincinnati, Ohio

>Political Party:Independent

>Fluff: He was a clone of Harambe that was funded by the internet and the zoo. However a freak accident given him human like qualities. He went to all the major colleges and basically was shown off to everyone. He read some books, conducted some thesis, and even written about his past life. Now using his intellect, charisma, and cold hard guilt to run for president.

>Map Color: Gorilla Silver

>Bonus: Improved Kickstarter Funds - Your Kickstarter grows larger! Gain [2] Funds per turn, plus [1] Fund per state that is FOR HARAMBE!

Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit. Dance Dance Counters: 4

Internet Campaign Awareness - Your internet campaign has gained a foothold across the country's awareness. Until you crit-fail an internet related roll, no other opponent can gain this bonus. +10 to all rolls involving the internet

>88 Ohio Counties!

>2 North Dakota Counties!

>Funding: 7

1. Campaign in Indiana so that I can expand my chances to be president

2. Keep working on my internet campaign make sure I'm big

Dance dance: Keep on doing the interpretive dance this time challenge that damned cat

Rolled 51, 87, 47 = 185 (3d100)

>>31732

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

+Bonus: Caroleans - Iron Discipline and a belief in the Divine Mandate of their future King give Hob's supporters greater strength when out numbered. -5 to enemy rolls against your holdings, and doubled (-10) when the target holdings are fewer in number than the attacker's [By State]. This bonus increases by 1 (base) for every state you control completely.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

GA: 16

NH: 10

Funds: 6

1. This is a beautiful development. My power base is nearly unassailable. With my new supporters, I shall be able to keep a foothold nearly anywhere I go. Now, it is time to strike at a location which is altogether unexpected: Iowa. I shall sway the commoners there with promises of government land which they can work, in exchange for a cut of their profits. The farmers, and prospective farmers there will want to follow me so that they can claim more land in the future. [Campaign in Iowa.]

2. When I am King, I will be able to tax the people for the money that I need. However, at present, I am forced to appeal to my voterbase for support in funding. Let them know that they are paying for the streamlining of the race, and a swift end to the opposition that we face in our journey to create a grand American empire. [Gib moni pls]

3. Bah. The overture was the weakest part. This next movement will capture more of what I intend to do for the country. I shall be joined by a marching band, as I parade down streets, executing flips and somersaults as I go, to my own anthem, cheered on by loyal supporters, who join in. It will embody the journey upon which I wish to take the American people, into a brighter age. [Dance for the king!]

Rolled 69, 45 = 114 (2d100)

>>31732

>>>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson

>Home State: Pennsylvania

>Political Party: Independent

>Fluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

1: Darius's campaign team starts focusing on claiming Colorado before anyone else stakes a claim on it.

2: Darius finishes "persuading" Jones supporters out of pennsylvania.

Rolled 88, 94 = 182 (2d100)

>>31732

Candidate Name: Виктор Американски (Victor American)

Home State: Texas

Political Party: Democrats

Fluff:

Victor American is very American American. You may be fooled by strong majestic Russian accent, no worried. Victor knows what is best for capitalist American monster. Many years in American Ranger Regiment "Alfa Group" make Victor strong and secret American government organization "Fedral Service for Security of United American Federation" make Victor smart.

American spent too much Ruble on guns and tanks. Is bad. Other countries like Glorious Russian Federation not like. Foreign relation is bad. American meddle in other countries affairs. Many Terrorist. Is bad.

Victor will put ruble away from American Imperialist Military and where ruble belong. To you товарищ!

Not believe filthy corrupt capitalists Comrade. Vote Victor American! The only Американски choice!

+Map Color: Unmarked Green Man Green

+Funds: [5]

+Bonus: Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

1. Stopping? Bah! Texan appreciate stubborn candidate! He will make comeback and win vote! Go Victor American!

2. Hm. NRA not like Victor American? Sad. But what he can do? Perhaps some Activists visit NRA bosses and family. Perhaps they have talk. Education. Surely NRA will change his mind. But Victor would not know.

+ Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

+Refresh turn counter for 'Good Night and Good Luck' to 3 turns

+In the NRA's Sights (3 Turns) - The NRA takes offense to your anti-gun stance, and even condemns the gun given to the baby. Attack ads run have begun against you during almost every commercial break! -10 to all rolls

[TURN 7 ]

>BIG JIM

The campaign sees mixed results as the media focuses upon Hurricane Bazrael's landfall in Texas.

+4 Georgia Counties

+Out of Focus (3 Turns) - The media has lost focus from your grand campaign. The result could be worse, but it still hurts. -5 to all rolls

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>Jones-Sama

Hurricane Bazrael slams into Texas, causing wide spread devastation and knocking out the Lone Star State's stand-alone power grid. Your dance video was uploaded before it went to hell, though!

+ Bazpocalypse (3 Turns) - Jones-Sama is without electrical power, and his followers cut off from the truth about the Globalist conspiracies! Jones-Sama's bonuses do not apply to ANY candidate until power is restored to Jones-Sama HQ, or Texas as a whole.

+ Dance Dance Counters: 4

>Thomas Hob

Iowa rebuffs the future king as Texas is devastated by Hurricane Bazrael, while loyalists fill the king's coffers as they should! The parade video sees minor success, while you happily retweeter the failure of Man Guy's finger dance.

+8 Funds

+ Dance Dance Counters: 4

>Mr Whiskers

Meow Meow Meow Meow

Meow Meow Meow Meow

+13 Utah Counties

+8 Virginia Counties

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>HARAMBE

HARAMBE hits Indiana with a bang, and the internet with a dance that people claim speaks of 52 different political topics on both sides of the traditional spectrum. And maybe an autistic spectrum. Or two.

+16 Indiana Counties

+ Dance Dance Counters: 7

[Improved Internet Campaign Awareness 4/10]

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>SANDERS

The revolution marches on, even as Texas is laid low by the forces of nature!

+4 New York Counties

+4 Washington State Counties

+4 Oregon Counties

>Filthy Frank

The campaign stalls as the nation holds a collective breath over Hurricane Bazrael. Funds still trickle in, though.

+8 Funds

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>Man Guy

The Campaign continues in California, while your finger dance is mostly a flop. Thomas Hob's official twitter account mockingly retweets your submission.

+6 California Counties

>Schlomo Goldberg

>no post

-4 New York Counties

> Darius

Colorado. A state of legal weed and a mile high city. Your kind of people, really. If only they had a longer attention span. "Persuasion" efforts move along slowly. Looks like the rest of the rats are hiding in the walls.

+8 Colorado Counties

> Richie Rich

Richie Rich has impossible things happen. Most of them make him absurdly rich. Other times, they are just plain absurd. This time, it is both. And then some.

Richie's fleet builds his island, containing the oil spill as a natural lake of black gold in his future state. The finishing touches will take some more time, but Richie has accomplished the impossible, and during a major hurricane, too!

+ Guardian of the Gulf - Having contained the oil spill with his ambitious plan, residents of Gulf States have come to view Richie in a strange, almost worshipful light. Gain d10 counties in 2 random Gulf States per turn. (2d10/turn total)

+ Lake-O-Oil - When you've got a lake larger than Rhode Island full of oil, you're set for life. For Richie, it is still just pocket change. +10 Funds per turn

+ I Built the Island. It Seemed Neater (10 Turns) - Your fleet is finishing up construction of the island. Every Critical roll speeds up or slows down the work by 1 turn.

> Victor American

They say it be like it is, comrade.

But is not.

Like stubborn Walrus upon missile hatch, Victor campaigns as Hurricane comes. In midst of Hurricane Bazrael's impact, NRA leadership visited by men unaffiliated with Victor American campaign.

The gun battles rage for hours, and several SWAT teams are decimated when police attempt to end the bloodshed.

+8 Texas Counties

-In the NRA's Sights

>>32044

>National Events

+ Hurricane Bazrael - The Bazpocalypse has come to Texas. Thousands have died, and Eastern half of Texas is completely without power. Millions are homeless, Millions more are trapped by lingering floods. President Obama has declared the entire state a disaster zone and mobilized every branch of the military as rumors of massive gun battles filter out of the disaster zone. Some members of congress suggest giving Texas back to Mexico, now.

+ Secret Service Investigation - The Secret Service is tight-lipped about the results of their investigation, though more and more candidates are spotted flanked by the agency…

+NRA Bloodshed - Word spreads of massive gun battles across Texas and even other parts of the nation. Who knows what will come of this?

>Map update soon.tm

Rolled 51, 91, 76 = 218 (3d100)

>>32044

Candidate Name: Tomas Hob

Home State: Massachusetts

Political Party: Independent

Fluff: Tomas Hob is not a particularly powerful man, but he has will and a vision. He sees a nation, undivided and indivisible, safe and secure, free from politicking and the corruption of the legislators. He sees one man upon a throne: a man with unequaled power throughout the world, and with but one motivation: the safety of his nation. Hob doesn't plan for this to be the cleanest, or easiest election, but he certainly plans for it to be the last one. His platform is one offering safety, an alternative to the petty bickering of bureaucrats, the end of corporate involvement of politics, and the total destruction of violent groups and movements. He doesn't care about race or religion, as long as neither get in the way of his path to a new age for the Kingdom of America.

+Map Color: Royal Purple

+Bonus: God Save the King - Counties loyal to you are resistant to opponents, halving the amount gained by your opponents.

+Bonus: Caroleans - Iron Discipline and a belief in the Divine Mandate of their future King give Hob's supporters greater strength when out numbered. -5 to enemy rolls against your holdings, and doubled (-10) when the target holdings are fewer in number than the attacker's [By State]. This bonus increases by 1 (base) for every state you control completely.

Counties:

NY: 2

FL: 6

MA: 14 (All)

GA: 16

NH: 10 (All)

Funds: 14

+ Dance Dance Counters: 4

1. There are two locations which make sense right now. Iowa is a relatively significant state, but so is Texas. In the wake of all that's happened in Texas, I might be seen as a hands-on monarch if I were to grace them with my presence. However, I may also be seen as someone attempting to benefit from the misfortune of the people. I'm going to risk it, though. If I'm the first out of stater on the scene, and am seen getting my interns to help rebuild, then the Texans are more likely to throw in their support. [Campaign in Texas in the wake of Hurricane Bazrael.]

2. Excellent. I only need a bit more money before I can implement my plan. A bit more advertising, and I'll rake in what I need. [Collect funds]

3. This is getting ludicrous. All of these candidates dancing fo-

Wait. I've had an idea.

Hurricane Bazrael, the Musical.

If I'm seen singing cheerfully with people in Texas, resolute and unfazed in the face of disaster, then Texas will rally behind me, and the American people will be attracted by my clear connection to their national spirit! [Dance Dance Hurricane Musical]

Rolled 97, 47, 61 = 205 (3d100)

>>32044

>Candidate Name: Harambe 2: Electric Boogaloo

>Home State:Cincinnati, Ohio

>Political Party:Independent

>Fluff: He was a clone of Harambe that was funded by the internet and the zoo. However a freak accident given him human like qualities. He went to all the major colleges and basically was shown off to everyone. He read some books, conducted some thesis, and even written about his past life. Now using his intellect, charisma, and cold hard guilt to run for president.

>Map Color: Gorilla Silver

>Bonus: Improved Kickstarter Funds - Your Kickstarter grows larger! Gain [2] Funds per turn, plus [1] Fund per state that is FOR HARAMBE!

Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit. Dance Dance Counters: 11

Internet Campaign Awareness - Your internet campaign has gained a foothold across the country's awareness. Until you crit-fail an internet related roll, no other opponent can gain this bonus. +10 to all rolls involving the internet

Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

>88 Ohio Counties!

>2 North Dakota Counties!

>16 Indiana Counties!

>Funding: 6

1. Keep going in Indiana that way we can grow

2. Keep going on the internet campaign I want it to grow in fact spend some of my funds on it, (4)

DANCE DANCE: "How dare Hob do this to a cripple. Make a interpretive dance video about how Hob is unfit for authority. If he's a gracious king he should welcome others and make them feel secure. But if he mocks others then all he's ever going to be is a coward and a weak pitiful man. Also challenge Bernie he should get a kick out of this."

Rolled 93, 45 = 138 (2d100)

>>32044

Candidate Name: Mr Whiskers

Home State: Kansas

Political Party: Indipendent

Fluff: Mr Whiskers is a house cat. Due to a strange series I'd events involving walking on a keyboard he has begun to run for president. Advocates for the continued slavery of human kind to their feline overlords.

+Map Color: MeowMix Brown

Funds: 6

+Bonus: Feline Supremacy - You impose a -10 penalty to any opponents campaigning in a state that you campaigned in the previous turn. This also applies to internet campaigns, as all must bow before Mr. Whiskers.

+ BONUS: 9 Lives! - Gain an additional County for every 9 in your rolls to campaign!

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

1&2. It is time to take a break from travel and enjoy spreading my word through the internet.

Rolled 4, 44, 79 = 127 (3d100)

>>32044

Candidate Name: Man Guy

Home State: Maine

Political Party: The Man's Party

Fluff: Women want him men want to be him.

He is simply, The Man.

+Map Color: Moose Brown

+Bonus: Jumping Girls on Trampolines - Critical successes give you a permanent +5 to in-person campaign rolls, while critical failures provide the opposite. Currently +10

Counties:

Maine; 17 MAINE CAPTURED

New Hampshire; 3

Wisconsin; 60

Michigan; 0

Washington; 8

California; 44

Funds: 0

+ Bodyguard - Richard Dean Anderson: That is right, ladies. MacGuyver himself has thrown his support behind Candidate MAN GUY, going so far as to pledge his life to protect the candidate from future assassination attempts. Between his TV fame, charity work, and his honorary rank as a USAF Brigadier General, RDA brings a sweeping heir of legitimacy to MAN GUY's campaign. +Large Defense vs Assassination. +5 to non-personal campaign rolls.

+ A Bizarre Assassination Adventure 2: Assassination Boogaloo - Having survived a rather odd assassination attempt, followed by another, your standing with the people increases as you become linked to various other victims of attempted, and successful assassinations. +10 to one non-personal action per turn.

+ Secret Service Detail - You're protected by the Secret Service. This gives you an air of legitimacy, as well as protection from dangers.

+Dance Dance Politics (Special) - Every turn you MUST challenge an additional opponent to participate in a viral internet dance competition. Each participant gains an additional action toward this competition, and in turn must challenge an additional opponent each turn. The competition ends when a participant rolls a critical failure (10 or less). ???. Profit.

1 Continue to Campaign in California +15

2 Funds +10. Now that I am healed I can get back to seeing people with an auction for a dinner with Man Guy. He cooks fairly well.

3 Dance Dance Politics. Dance the Dance.

Rolled 91, 37 = 128 (2d100)

>>32044

Candidate Name: Виктор Американски (Victor American)

Home State: Texas

Political Party: Democrats

Fluff:

Victor American is very American American. You may be fooled by strong majestic Russian accent, no worried. Victor knows what is best for capitalist American monster. Many years in American Ranger Regiment "Alfa Group" make Victor strong and secret American government organization "Fedral Service for Security of United American Federation" make Victor smart.

American spent too much Ruble on guns and tanks. Is bad. Other countries like Glorious Russian Federation not like. Foreign relation is bad. American meddle in other countries affairs. Many Terrorist. Is bad.

Victor will put ruble away from American Imperialist Military and where ruble belong. To you товарищ!

Not believe filthy corrupt capitalists Comrade. Vote Victor American! The only Американски choice!

+Map Color: Unmarked Green Man Green

+Funds: [5]

+Bonus: Irregular Political Warfare - you gain a bonus to sabotaging political events of your opponents. And without patches on your men, no one will have proof!

1. Not fear fellow американеци, for Victor is come prepared. Many phone calls already have made and glorious Federal Republic of Россия declared willingly to help Texan people against horrible crimes of capitalist Richie Rich! Russian aid convoy is already on way.

2. Filthy capitalist criminal Richie Rich kill thousands of people and now he be repaid with more money? No товарищ. Not in the America Victor American loves so dearly. Surely some brave men would set filthy lake of greed and oil on fire. But Victor would not know, after all Victor only is concerned citizen of Federal States of Америка.

>>32061

"Hey you! You Borscht-gobblin' motherfucker! I challenge you to a DANCE OFF, my dude!"

Rolled 10 (1d10)

Funds roll

Rolled 9 (1d10)

Candidate Name: Richie $ Rich

Home State: Florida

Political Party: Republican

Fluff: Richie Rich is the richest boy in the world.

+Map Color: Dark Pink

+Bonus: Richie Rich - you gain 1d10 Funds every turn, but you're terrible with money…

Funds: 31 +10/Turn

+ 'Secret', Bodyguard Fembot

+ 'Mr Roboto', Bodyguard Bot

+ 'Kilroy', Bodyguard Botfr

+A piece of the Sahara Desert

+Fleet of cargo ships and Dredgers

+Vocal support from China

+ Guardian of the Gulf - Having contained the oil spill with his ambitious plan, residents of Gulf States have come to view Richie in a strange, almost worshipful light. Gain d10 counties in 2 random Gulf States per turn. (2d10/turn total)

+ Lake-O-Oil - When you've got a lake larger than Rhode Island full of oil, you're set for life. For Richie, it is still just pocket change. +10 Funds per turn

+ I Built the Island. It Seemed Neater (10 Turns) - Your fleet is finishing up construction of the island. Every Critical roll speeds up or slows down the work by 1 turn.

Rolling for Gulf Counties

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>32139

other d10

Rolled 59, 35 = 94 (2d100)

>>32139

1. Campaign.

I RICHIE RICH MAKE THIS PROMISE:

-If I win the Presidency, and the State of Texas votes gives me a state majority vote in the election,, I will pay off ALL of the debt of the State of Texas, including those incurred in Hurrican Bazrael

To show I have the money for this, I, Richie Rich, hereby pay for ALL Food, Water, Gas, and Insurance bills up to election day in the state of Texas. From this day until election, you may get as much gas, water, and food as you could possibly want!

I understand the hurricane has caused much disruption to these systems, so to deal with this, I am also hiring a vast fleet of trucks, airplanes, even helicopters on express shipments to the state of texas. All complimentary.

—

"President Roosevelt once said 'We can afford all that we need; but we cannot afford all we want.'

Well, I am here to tell you, if elected, these words shall be untrue.

We CAN afford all we want! If elected President, I promise all economical needs will be met forever."

Richie Rich unveils his Campaign Motto.

"We CAN afford all we want."

Spend 10 Funds

2. Richie Rich makes an offer to all Texans affected by the storm.

"People of Texas, to show that I am not mere words but also action, and to prove to you that I have the wealth to propel the united states into an age without want, I offer you this:

-Those of you who wish to stay in Texas, send me a receits of all your storm expenses, destroyed homes, insurance bills, food, gas, lost goods. I will buy them all back. This storm, shall not cost you a penny.

-Those of you who would join me in Richia, and live in the state, I promise you this. Send me a depiction of your dream mansion, and what you want in it. Be it a pool of solid gold, a three level garage, or your own yacht yard.

I will pay my engineers to design this house in Richia, and you can live here. And I will pay you $1000 a day to live here for the rest of your life. If I win the Presidency, I will increase that to $100,000 a day for the rest of your life.

I offer this to everyone, from the homeless to the jobless, to ALL citizens.

Spend 10 Funds

Rolled 3, 10 = 13 (2d100)

>>32044

>>Candidate Name: Darius "The Philly Strangler" "Baby Killer" "Prisoner 863-B" Jackson

>>Home State: Pennsylvania

>>Political Party: Independent

>>Fluff: Darius has committed hundreds of crimes in his life. Ranging from petty theft to dozens accounts of murder. Spending years in prison he was able to climb up the ranks of the system by using his natural charisma and power with words to enthrall both guards and inmates alike to fall in line with him. Then it happened. He received his presidential pardon! With a new lease on life and a deeper appreciation of the commander in chief, Darius will use his new found freedom to run for president and help make America the country he knows it can be!

+Bonus: [Viral Mugshot] rolls of 63 are counted as a nat 100 Everyone falls for the eyes in your mugshot…

1: Darius's campaign focuses in on securing illinois

2: Darius personally takes care of the last of the Pennsylvanian jone's supporters