/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

shh don't tell them about the new thread until the old one reaches 740something

>>3017

>>3018

Why couldn't you wait? Why were you so eager?

>>3023

I was expecting the next 10 posts to fly by and then there might not have been enough time to make it and link it

Obviously that didn't work out, so now I just look like a brainlet

>>3030

You need to tolerate more risk. Live a little more on the wild side. Get that late thread-creation rush when posts are running out and you have to beat the clock.

>>3031

I've done that before on the old board and it was a little too much for my weak old heart to handle

>>3034

Just mash the lad around until you get bored

>>3028

>Do you need to lose any weight?

I am cutting down but I don't really need to, I just want to be more defined. That's part of why I was doing body weight things.

>>3032

What kind of exercises do you do with the smaller weights? I've got a set but never use them

>>3035

Thanks m8

Blast some music even from headphones when excersies to take your mind of the pain. Always keep focus on your form. Less reps when working out with a better form will help you because you will injury yourself pushing yourself too hard

>>3034

it happens

Bloody blown out anal fissure.

>>3044

Hate it when that happens

>>3044

>bloody

literally

>>3034

What meds are they?

Just finished watching this.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL93CBA7FD91A7CA5B

It's a four piece vid of billy joel. I dont like many of his songs but in this he was very charismatic and honest.

I heard this song yesterday on the radio and it's one of his ok ones, I like New york state of mind the best out of his tunes.

>>3047

Lexapro.

>>3041

Samsung Health app: 11 workouts for whole body training. You can go faster than the woman, but after 20 minutes with 3 minutes of breaks it really gets you going. It's a good work out.

>>3050

>20 minutes

I got a sweat from just reading that.

>>3050

Thanks mate, I use that to track steps already (mainly because it was set to do that by default, but still) but I had no idea it did other things.

>>3049

That is an unusual side effect. Usually they just make it hard for you to cum, but getting an erection is no problem. You get used to it being harder to cum and adjust after a while and it is almost as easy as before.

If you cannot get an erection on that medication ask your GP to put you on a different anti depressant.

Murray river

Swan river

>>3055

>>3054

shithole nile

My boomer neighbour over the road has bought a new boat. It is even bigger than the last one. The trailer for it has more axles than my dick has inches.

>>3057

"LUCKY COUNTRY, WE MAKE OUR OWN LUCK"

>>3051

It really fucks me up at times on hot days when it cools down in the afternoon when I do it. I have to sleep on my back but after noticing my body slowing merging into a chad psychic I am proud

>>3052

I noticed it only about two months ago and then just kept using the same program. The others are ok, but I do not want to become more flexible. The program I recommend targets everything and gets the job done in a fulling workout

>>3057

How long before we get rid of the real boatpeople?

>>3048

I never minded Billy Joel. He went out of fashion at some point and his music started getting derided as cheesy and shit.

>Spasticus Autisticus

Did Ian see the future?

>for you NEETs that dont know who this is he sang "I wanna be straight" and "hit me with your rhythm stick"

>>3060

On the day of the rope we will just cut off their blood pressure and cholesterol prescriptions and they will be fucked.

>>3062

You can't make fun of spastics nowadays

>>3064

Not for being spastic anyway.

>>3064

tbh I don't think he was.

He was weird a cunt.

>>3062

Definitely ahead of its time.

>>3066

>I'm sick and tired of taking drugs and staying up late

Reckon he'd be posting here if he was our age

>>3068

If he's heard of us that is

>tfw extremely depressed

>>3070

>tfw not extremely depressed

>tfw moderately depressed

>>3067

My dad saw him live.

I'm not sure if he saw him do this or on a video or what but he told me about how he had spinabifida (I dont know how its spelt) or some shit where he had to be in a wheelchair most of the time but he got all worked up by singing and stood up for that (It'd fuck him to be standing though)

anyway, he fucking wheels on to stage and grabs the mic and says "I'm Ian Dury and who are you?", the crowd sort of yells and cheers not getting what he's saying, He yells again "I'm Ian Dury and who the fuck are you?" and some of the crowd catches on and yell back "fucking blockheads" (that was the name of the band), he goes, "What? again? I'm Ian Dury and who the fuck are you?" that part of the crowd yell out "Blockheads"

He then goes, "That's fucking right and you're all coming to vegas with me." and he did take them.

Seems like a cool cunt. I dont know how much of that is true, my dad was just ranting while stoned but he's told me that story a couple times and he doesnt lie as a habit

>>3068

I reckon too.

>>3073

I can't imagine what it must be like to have a parent who gets stoned. You have had a much more interesting life than me.

>tfw moderately impressed

>tfw mildly refreshed

>tfw moderately dressed

>>3074

He's one of the very few people who aren't a shit stoner parent. He always kept me away from drugs and alcohol even though he smoked everyday after work.

He punched me in the mouth at a rodeo when I was 16 because I was pissed, that was the only time I drank around him.

He didn't mean to punch me, I called him a cunt because he was drinking and then he grabbed me by the scruff of the shirt and I fell back then he pulled me forwards to stop me falling and I swung my head forwards and headbutted his fist holding my shirt.

I sort of just ragdolled because I was pretty loaded. It made my eyes water and I was trying to be a big man in front of the young sluts i'd just made out with so I went and hid in our tent and sulked. I think I told them it was because he ripped my shirt.

Pretty funny looking back at it now.

>>3074

My dad smokes weed a bit but I never knew about it until I was about 19, he was very discrete and doesn't seem like the type at all

>>3078

You say he kept you away from drugs and alcohol but you ended up into them pretty big time and pretty early didn't you?

>>3079

Is he like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty?

>>3081

I have not seen that so I don't know

>>3082

It is a pretty good film.

>>3080

Yeah, I left home when I was 17 and the people I moved in with gave me a pipe as soon as I got there.

From then on for years I smoked fuck loads.

I think they thought I already smoked, I went to school with their daughter years before and they had said that I could stay with them anytime so I rang them.

Me and dad had a blue over some shit, I cant remember and I had a gf in the same town where I moved to.

>>3084

How do you get all these girlfriends?

>>3085

I look like a chad.

>>3085

I dont know, I never put any effort in to it. I'm relatively attractive and used to be sort of hot I guess

>>3086

impersonatorNEET strikes again

You got it right though

>look like

Doesn't make me one.

>>3088

Do you have a gf at the moment?

>>3086

It is always an extra shame when an attractive person is living the NEET life. Us grotesque NEETs never had a chance, but you always have a feeling that if you were better looking you would not have all these problems. Apparently that is not necessarily the case. Look at poor Monkey.

>>3086

Do not impersonate other NEETs please.

>>3089

I've told you guys heaps of the times the answer to this.

>>3092

Not everyone knows which NEET is which mate.

>>3081

Are you calling that NEETs dad a faggot rapist

>>3092

So no

or you're nigger gf

>>3093

Get good with your NEETlore

>>3094

Nah more of a loli loving stoner gymNEET

>>3095

One of my many names

>>3096

Spacey likes shots more than loli

>>3097

I'm not well versed in cartoon love diction.

>>3098

Shota Is little boys

Loli is little girls

>>3098

Also Yuri is pure

And Yaoi is degenerate fag shit

>>3100

You're asking the wrong group of people

>>3100

I presume frowned upon. I haven't tried.

>>3099

Maybe irl but in the movie he is a lolilover (is underage loli? She's like 16 or something)

>>3104

Nah she wouldn't be a loli then

>>3107

Are you the girl in this fantasy?

>>3108

No

>>3107

>hilda

Excellent taste my man

>>3109

Who are the other dudes then? Do you ever lock eyes in these fantasies?

>>3111

Yes

>>3112

Looks like a bunch of shitskins. Christ what a mess we have made of our country.

>>3112

why dies the picture say monk has a gf

>>3114

The mess was made before we were born

>>3111

More like a swinger type thing, I'm somewhat disgusted by it but at the same time I get the fantasy of cutting myself off from society and living in a tribal setting.

>>3115

poojeeta will return to the big bulge

>>3119

I thought monk was single

>>3107

Me on the left

>>3120

He doesn't have a tattoo either. It is just a meme mate.

>>3120

He has us

>>3121

They all look the same to me.

>>3122

if we're throwing around shit, that "10/10 anglo gf" should be "10/10 poojeeta gf"

>>3121

Done anything about the possums m8?

>>3125

I am not confident she was a 10/10.

>>3126

I'm not possum genocide neet but I did see a dead possum on the road a few days ago

>>3127

Monk would not go for sub par manure

>>3127

I laughed when I heard the correct pronunciation or close enough of poojeta

https://youtu.be/gILGNk6Vx8M?t=16m30s

>>3130

I didn't embed it because you cannot get it to start an exact time.

>>3129

I have a feeling his self esteem is so low he might.

>>3130

All this time I thought poojeeta was just pajeet with poo "cleverly" added in

>>3133

IKTF

>>3130

HAHHA good shit

I hate how you cant embed to a time here

>>3132

His cock killed an entire board

>>3136

NK helped though his cock he posted looked like it had already been killed

>>3130

I have to ask, how did you come across that?

>>3137

It was a metaphor

>>3137

#8fapsaday

>>3138

I like Al Jeezera stories when its beyond the middle east. they pay for journalists to do actual reporting and investigating. they cannot be phased because of their oil/gas funding. overall better than news corp investigative shit from tips

>>3140

Monk would take her away forcibly.

>>3138

One of their weekly stories highlights, I did not search for it

>>3143

Did it make you want to save a poojeeta from pajeetland?

>>3145

Is the first one meant to be Tsuruya?

>>3141

I watched aljazeera a lot a couple years ago, when the qatar funding thing happened they turned heavily anti-Israel. I'm not entirely against that view but I think a news co. should keep their opinions to themselves.

I watch DW now but they are becoming more and more pro-refugee and that's the same shit.

I dont think there is unbiased news.

>>3144

No, I wouldn't want to go there. Trip and fall over enjoy a super bug or may be a little Delhi belly. My standards are much, much lower Cambodia more than Vietnam if I was going to save one of them. Not an underage one, you can get charged in Australia for that shit

>>3142

Her heart would've betrayed her homeland at the mere sight of him.

>>3148

So are your standards high enough to exclude "has a penis"?

>>3150

No

>>3145

Why do they half spoiler the cocks?

>>3152

It's edit period censorship laws the government is too rigid to give up

>>3152

The Japanese understand that genitrals are weird and icky so they censor them for us

>>3153

Is that the /aus/ bo

>>3156

Wouldn't surprise me if he was actually

>>3154

It seems pretty strange, it's not spoilered enough to not se it. Doesn't seem to be much point to doing it.

What gov? the Jap one?

>>3157

?

>>3147

>I watched aljazeera a lot a couple years ago, when the qatar funding thing happened they turned heavily anti-Israel.

In some regards, I feel they cover more Palatine stories which gives them the swing for their bias. They are open to guests talking about Israel and recently had a guest on one of their talk shows who lived in Israel on the boarder to the west bank. There is a bias but at least they are willing to report the issues on both sides even though one side is more prevalent but address issues of people not in power.

>I'm not entirely against that view but I think a news co. should keep their opinions to themselves.

I cannot handle any of their opinion pieces that they present as news until you click on the article. They do fairly good reporting on Australian issues but a very little internation coverage even though they have ownership in the Fox Network in the USA. They still use Washington Post and thankfully have cut down on Huntington post articles

>I watch DW now but they are becoming more and more pro-refugee and that's the same shit.

True

>I dont think there is unbiased news.

You need to switch between DW, RT and Al Jezeera. Do not watch any local reporting issues that are politicised with a heavy bias

>>3146

I don't know I just mass download stuff from tags in gelbooru.

>>3152

It's illegal to show full genitalia pornography in Japan. I've seen some Japanese films where they show genitals but it's not in a sexual manner, hence they'll draw lines or pixelate for hentai.

>>3153

This came up when googleing the image

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/man-arrested-at-sydney-airport-over-alleged-bondi-bar-stool-attack-20180115-h0if4f.html

>>3158

Yeah the Jap gov

And yeah their censorship laws are fucking weird

Also isn't this common knowledge

>>3163

It's common knowledge on chans but I doubt if you walked up to random normies and asked them if Jap porn was censored or not they would know

>>3160

>They do fairly good reporting on Australian issues

I've noticed this too, I've learnt more through them about assylum seekers and manus than I have from any aus news outlet

>RT

They are so pro Russia it's weird for me to read, they do post stuff that other places rarely do though and thats good

France24 is a decent news outlet too

>>3152

Porn was allowed on the basis that it was educational and not as much a moral issue because people were learning from it even though some of the early stuff is bit too extreme for my tastes. If it was not censored it would be pornographic ????? that would cross the bounds between material people learn to morally unacceptable material that is real to them. I think that's the justification between why material not allowed in Australia is acceptable in Japan because it is not seen as real.

>>3153

He's impersonating me.

>>3163

I steer clear of any jap and porn boards

>>3166

…is bashing people will bar stools

>>3167

Isn't our only law in terms of having porn is it can't be CP

>>3168

It's still shit that's known

This also came up while looking for that pic

fucking lol

http://www.smh.com.au/world/man-kills-mother-during-tantrum-over-video-games-police-say-20180113-h0hzc5.html

>>3171

I know jap porn is censored, I didnt know why and I hadn't seen any cartoon jap porn or it being censored like that

>>3164

Dunno mate

I'd say most younger normies I meat would know about the censorship in Jap porn

>>3165

>They are so pro Russia it's weird for me to read,

Avoid all domestic material, they have good alternative perspective on US politics but you can see where the strings are being tugged by domestic politicians

>France24 is a decent news outlet too

They are, switching between channels and outlets helps you filter out the garbage

>>3172

jesus christ that journalist is shit

>In the hours to come, friends and relatives would gather outside the house with the basketball hoop. News cameras joined them, and investigators came and went.

"Was it the video game," the police spokesman wondered aloud to a local NBC station, "or was there something else going on?"

>>3165

>>3176

>not getting all of your news from Associated Press and Reuters

but yeah fuck news corp and fairfax

Tbh I mainly get my news from radio and here

Exceptional.

>>3180

Is that a man or a woman

>>3170

Drawn cartoons are CP, it is a local court decision but it sets a disturbing precedent that remains unchallenged in Australia. This site is hosted in the US so we are fine, but those who have the material and are not in private browsing mode no history apart from what you download could be hit with this law

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2008-12-08/fake-simpsons-cartoon-is-child-porn-judge-rules/233562

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2008/12/08/1228584707575.html

>>3182

> hit with this law

Not a law but a court precedent that could be used to justify the charge against you

>>3182

Which means our friend up there having gangbang pics of high school anime girls would be in trouble

>>3182

I have read this post before, what other boards do you frequent?

>>3182

Shit I've git about 2gb of pics that have girls from pokemon

Am I fucked

>>3186

Are they pokemons or actual girls? Jerking it to Pikachu is all good

>>3187

Both

And no actual pikachu despite having all those pics

>>3182

Quit spreading bullshit, that story's from 10 years ago

>>3189

The law hasn't changed since then m8.

>>3189

It can still be used to convict you when the police find your K-On gangbang folder

>>3189

Are you this dumb

Are we all AFPd now

>>3193

>not being anonymous

>>3062

Just read up about this, he was a good guy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_Dury#Spasticus_Autisticus

>written to show his disdain for that year's International Year of Disabled Persons, which he saw as patronising and counter-productive—was banned by the BBC. Dury was a disabled person himself, having been left crippled by childhood polio. The lyrics were uncompromising:

>NEET (You)

>>3193

We always have been. Speaking of which, I just found out that in december last year, some sperg that I remember from kiwi farms actually went ahead an shot up a school.

When did this happen

>>3198

In Australia?

>>3199

Those are 12 year old by the way

>>3202

>banning pokegrill posts

Not cool

>>3199

16-17 is underage and Yui looks about 10 anyway

>>3204

Posting drawn child porn is not a good hill to die on

>>3201

america

>>3201

Nah I don't think Australia has school shootings

>>3184

It depends on how the case is argued. If he can demonstrate reasonable doubt that those depicted are above 18 then he would be fine. It then depends on if your case is determined by a jury or the judge.

In the USA this has been a problem for a man who had to import a Brazilian porn star who had to give evident under oath that she was over 18 at the time of filming.

>>3185

>I have read this post before, what other boards do you frequent?

The unnamed board, I use to visit shitchan random but it become 2 edgy 4 me. Some of other boards are find are somewhat acceptable to a point, I just like to emphasise the laws. When traveling back to Australia, if they find any of this shit on your hard drive you can be charged over it, as it is morally questionable material and now has a classification that it is child exploitation material

>>3186

>Am I fucked

Learn about Truecypt, but if you do not turn off your computer use Veracypt. Veracypt has resolved the ram exploitation bug that the key can be accessed from RAM. There are stories of them using NOS to freeze the ram to recover the keys.

Then use a cleaning program to delete your temporary files, but it needs to have an overwrite function. It slows it down, but it needs to be at least above 3 wipes at the minimum for a non-solid state disk. Becomes more difficult or you could just keep spamming troll videos then deleting them and rewriting them. That could be a bonus to make them have some fun.

>>3189

It's still a valid case. Although not at a Supreme court in the state or Federal level it could be taken there. It gets fucking expensive to win a case at those levels. Legal aid can be shit at the best of times, that's if you are able to get funding. For a case like this you would have a better chance because it would have a significant impact on your life

>>3206

Mate pokegrills are top tier

>>3209

The few that I recognized were cannon underage. Maybe you could argue they're older because they have bigger tits in the porn, but that's not an argument I'd want to be making in front of a judge

>>3211

So an argument of "do you seriously think 10 year olds have tits like those" might work

>>3211

>M'Lord, please see exhibit A

>the proporition of these mammories indicate that the artwork has deviated from the source material and reflects not the age of the original but rather a matured version for which the defendant may consume for his miscellenous recreational requirements.

>>3212

Unless it's that one girl from Non Non Biyori

Has escort NEET reported in yet? I wonder how it went.

>>3211

> Maybe you could argue they're older because they have bigger tits in the porn, but that's not an argument I'd want to be making in front of a judge

Anything with small limbs significantly disproportionate to an adult involved in an adult situation should not be on your hard drive. It would be presented in case, as to what is happening and how they are depicted. You will need to keep a straight face eyes will be fixated on you looking for your guilt if its a jury while being able to discuss objectively with your solicitor/barrister how you believe that the people involved in the act are over 18 as consenting adults. If the artist in question focuses on any significant label associated with children and young people not adults yet you would also need to present a reasonable counter argument, as that would be presented as a fact

>>3021

how do i get in on that?

>>3217

I'm going to guess he'll drop his spaghetti everywhere and bust a nut immediately or sperg out and fail to get a stiffy.

>>3216

I just don't jerk off to my animes

>>3220

I told him not to panic if he cums early and that he can get hard again and go in for seconds.

I can't imagine how you could fail to get hard being around a naked woman for the first time like that. I know it happens but I do not understand it.

>>3221

Was about to post it to reply my post, but here is what you need to know

It is also important to note the distinction between pornography and art that is a valid protection to have the materials under law both drawn and real photographs, although they must be accepted as ART from experts in the field. A show depicting a child or young person could be argued as a art and acceptable if it has been released in Australian with classifications with the scenes included. You should never throw your anime out because people are naked. If it heavily sexualised with an excessively emphasis on children and young people and not classified in Australian that raises flags of caution.

>>3222

>I can't imagine how you could fail to get hard being around a naked woman for the first time like that. I know it happens but I do not understand it.

Anxiety can do strange things, it's happened to me before.

Looks like goon's back on the menu NEETs.

Got a fresh cask, gonna enjoy 2 glasses with a mixer as I'm responsible.

>>3224

>it's happened to me before

Was it with a prostitute?

>>3227

Yes

>>3228

Your first time?

>>3229

No, it was my 4th time, something about the girl just made me really uneasy and I found it extremely hard to get a stiffy.

>>3231

What measures did she take to try and get you hard?

>>3230

It is not too late.

>>3232

BJ, Handjob, fondled and sucked my balls, I eventually got hard but it was awkward.

>>3236

The smell of a good NEET should make her cringe for you to enjoy the experience

>>3236

>Did you go there clean and trimmed and smelling good?

Always, btfw getting your balls sucked and played with is one of best feels out there.

>>3239

I'm pretty average I guess.

>>3240

Are you overweight?

I am just trying to work out whether prostitutes are more likely to do intimate stuff like suck your balls if you are good looking.

>>3241

>I am just trying to work out whether prostitutes are more likely to do

it's all 4 the $$$$$$

>>3241

5kg overweight, like I said I'm pretty average in every way.

>>3243

Do you still go to prostitutes?

>>3242

A dick is a dick when you're fucking for a hit

>>3244

I go maybe twice a year.

>>3242

Nah I am reading reviews of various hookers and they seem to do different stuff for different clients. Some guys are very pissed the girl didn't do something for them that she did with other guys. Same price.

>>3248

I had no idea there were reviews for that kind of thing, sounds hilarious

>>3230

>tfw you can't even mention you first and only time because everyone thinks I'm begging to talk about it

>>3252

talk about it chadneet

>>3249

I don't know it's up to you, avoid gooks at all costs the majority of them have fake pics on their ads and will always try and rush things.

>>3252

I'm begging to hear about it.

>>3250

I remember that time the reviews on a Perth brothel was posted here

Or was it a Perth brothel that was mentioned that I looked up and saw reviews of

Either way it made me Kek, especially the one where some bloke took his mum there by mistake

>>3258

Yes.

>>3253

I am by no means a chad

>>3255

What a faggot

>>3261

Tell the story please non-ChadNEET.

>>3264

I already have

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2076731/Wayne-Joshua-Mitchell-dies-eating-cocaine-brothers-butt-hide-evidence.html

>Man dies after eating cocaine from his brother's butt to help hide evidence while the pair were in the back of police car

>tfw trying to find the right image and stumbling across these articles

>>3268

Stop making the raped NEET sad

>>3270

Oh its rape victim NEET. I didn't make the connection.

>>3267

Reminds me of the only drug incident that happened in my high school

I was year 12 and days away from leaving when this happened

One of my mates found this weird cunts weed, weird cunt found out then went running around the school trying to eat all of his weed before he got found out

Didn't work so well, incident lead to a drug bust on his and a few of his mates families

He got away with it because he snitched but the other kids got expelled and suspended and I think one of the dads got jail time but don't quote me on that

>>3271

>sees your dick

>>3274

I am a Big NEET I need the whole loaf, I don't stop for crumbs.

>>3273

I'm sorry mate but I am going to quote you on that.

>>3275

Malco only reacts like that when the dick is uncut

We need to keep it kosher afterall

>>3277

Kek

>>3278

I think neetking is the only jewed cunt around here

>>3268

You want to hear the only other sexual story I've got

Dunno if I've told it or not

>>3276

Have you ever considered becoming one of those people who eats on cam, it could be a good way of earning more money for more food

>>3281

A-about t-that

>>3282

Yes please mate.

>>3282

Please do, I need to have a wank

>>3284

Sorry to hear about your penis mate

>>3283

You need to be a woman to make money doing that. The men who do it are just hobbyists.

>>3280

So do people get high out of straight eating it

I know brownies are a thing but still

>>3288

He could become a tranny. Fatneets already have the tits for it and the penis problem solves itself eventually

>>3289

I know it would have fucked him up and that would have been funny

>>3289

You get higher eating it than smoking it. It takes a while to kick in though.

>>3296

All of the benefits

>>3297

Well played.

>>3296

Is this the power of DSPNEETs?

>>3300

The DSP is not the dole. DSP NEETs are far too refined and patrician to parade themselves in that vulgar manner.

>>3300

the bux perhaps he seemed pretty able if I remember correctly

Support the system that supports me

A banner of support that every NEET mobile needs

Cooked some of those hot sauce chicken drumsticks I mentioned the other day this evening. Pretty good.

>>3302

I wonder how long I'd go before some angry wagie runs my neetmobile off the road

>>3303

You forgot the pics.

>>3305

Never been a fan of photographing my food (or anything else). I'll make an effort to remember next time.

>>3307

You must photograph everything you do to keep us neets happy

>>3304

You must raise your first while yelling the battle cry

WAGIE RAGIE

BOOMER SCUM

>>3307

Pics make it more real to us mate and will deepen your connection to your fellow neets here.

>>3307

Post a hairy legs pic too.

>>3308

Yeah, but apart from the bloke who drives and the bloke working on his ivy problem, nobody posts anything.

>>3285

>>3286

Ok it was when I was at a hostel

In my room of which there was varying amounts of other guys at one time this guy who I could describe as looking like he could be Putins Australian 2nd cousin or something

He like us all was a drunk and one time had to take a train up in Sydney to do some safe driving course because he got caught drunk driving too much, I think he said at this point in order to stop being caught he'd stop driving

Now I know this doesn't interest you, but I'm getting to it

Ok one night he's on the town and comes back to the room at 2am I think, I start hearing some moaning wonder what's going on

The cheeky fuck brought a Sheila back to his room, I tried getting sleep but it was going on for hours with her moaning and saying stop it

At one point everyone but me left and I think I told her to shut up and she said something like "uhh ahh ow hug this this is normal" at which I laughed, I think he managed to have another go at her before getting kicked out of the hostel

For the next couple month me and this Irish guy who also was there actually I think he was Scottish quietly laughed at each other each other about the incident

Everyone else was stuck up about it

>>3313

I posted a goonbag a few weeks back

>>3292

He already was fucked up

>>3314

Did you have a wank to it mate?

>>3313

That's why the NEETs are unhappy.

>>3314

A hostel where?

>>3317

I didn't have a cheeky quiet wank there when everyone but the drunk man and the "stop" girl had left

>>3319

Melbourne

>>3317

https://youtu.be/vFHRdi5fQ5A?t=2m30s

Imagine if you were one of those kids who had to share a room with their siblings

>>3323

Could have tried wringing them out into a glass or something…

>>3324

I was one of those until the family bought a caravan

>>3327

I'd be telling my brother to fuck off and wank in the toilet if we had to share a room.

Luckily that never happened and I could wank in peace

>>3328

Kek, that's basically him except his not a bird

But yeah he did act like a stoned magpie

>>3330

Wanking near others does not sound comfy

>>3333

You feel smug if you can do it and not get caught

I wonder if being forced to share a room with your siblings makes you more likely to engage in gayshit

>>3335

I'd say the Pope would be more used to it than my brother

Seeing with all that boy rape and all

>>3337

Im brothelwankneet never have I wanked in front of my brother

>>3213

lol good post

>>3220

Either way 2018 is an improvement

>>3226

What's your mixer?

>>3339

I slept in the same bed as my cousin at that age and nothing gay happened, I guess some people are different though

>>3325

Absolutely disgusting no one wanted that mental image at dinner time.

>>3341

Sugar Free Woolworth's Lemonade

Thanks for noticing me, was getting a bit concerned that the anti-alcohol attitude meant no responsible drinking. I'm gonna have about 2.5~ standard drinks with dinner so it's all good.

>>3343

Sounds like you were raped my dude

>>3343

Kek

>>3258

>paying for vanilla

>>3267

imagine the parents at the funeral

>>3347

Somehow I doubt the that s is necessary

>>3273

>jail for dope

dunno bout that bit but i bet the weird snitch kid got belted bad

>>3347

Imagine my parents at my funeral. What an embarrassment it would be for them. Wouldn't even matter how I died, just the life I lived and the lack of friends.

>>3287

It's not just his cock, there's a kike in the thread.

Save me a place in Zion Yid-kun xx

>>3351

You could print our your neet thread posts for them to hang around the room

>>3289

Drink the bong water mate.

Used to be a rule that if you spill the billy you had to drink it.

>>3350

I think he was growing it and had meth toi

>>3356

Yeah sure mate, nothing could possibly go wrong

>>3301

>is not the dole.

You make us feel as though we're somehow different than the average NEET.

We are different cunt, fucking know your place. Tremble before the almighty DSP NEET

>>3358

cripplecide when

>>3356

I'll give you a tenna for a good blowjob, and 20 for a blowjob with no teeth

>>3358

I am embarrassed by how much money I get on DSP. I live like a king.

>>3344

> Absolutely disgusting no one wanted that mental image at dinner time.

You're welcome. I'd already eaten my delicious chicken drumsticks.

>>3361

You could always donate to the big boi NEET who should be eating on cam for tips

>>3363

that's me

>>3356

Not on method and have never tried it but I thought I could have alcohol one time and not get addicted

>>3364

==I hope you are bulking up for our 2018 competition of an executive sized NEET fused to a chair competition==>>3364

>>3366

It's called the Nurgle 2018 NEET chair competition

We have to pay our respects to the NEET gen patron deity

>>3367

I am not familiar with that meme.

>>>/benis/

>>3368

Nurgle is not a meme but rather the chaos god of decay and joy

>>3334

Even more smug if you do it while looking at someone and they pretend not to see and roll over to look away.

>tfw mummybot saw my belt looking like a noose on the floor after I was messing around seeing how easy it was to lose consciousness

She didn't realize, r-right?

>>3373

Were you having a wank?

>>3373

Mumbot here

It's ok

>>3374

Na but I was pretty tempted to give it a try

If I'm going to accidentally kill myself I'd rather do it when I'm not wanking though

>>3376

You just reminded me of something I heard from fullderp

Someone there who lives in Brazil had a cousin who died chocking himself as one of those social media memes like planking or tide pods

Ugh, just walked past a white woman/nigger couple with a miscegenation in a pram

>>3379

Did you look at its lips

>>3380

ol' banjo lips prolly had a big dong

>>3381

Such is life as a bushmam

>>3378

I think there is a gif of that moment, poor cunt knew it was happening loosing consciousness and could not stop it in time

>>3380

Was more focused on the retarded big nig nostrils on that baby

>>3385

Did you just pull the meat off the sticks and make sandwiches?

>>3386

yeah, I couldn't fit them all in if I left them on the sticks

>>3385

(You)

>>3387

I'd have probably lightly toasted the bread.

>>3385

It looks pretty good but mate that sad old white bread is just empty carbs. Not required.

Replace the breads with three eggs fried in a small pan so that it's the same thickness as a bread

>>3393

I think we can all agree it's probably a better and cheaper meal than if you'd bought some McShit of Kentucky Fried Coonfood

>>3395

Cheap scotch and Cole's homebrand coke zero.

>>3395

Water

>>3394

Wasn't bad, I had the honey soy one a couple days ago, was much better than that.

>>3396

(watching my figure)

>>3395

I'm drinking water.

>>3399

I am watching mine too and it keeps getting bigger.

Im drinking toilet water because it's cheaper than tap water

>>3401

I know the feeling. So far I'm doing a good job of staying off the junk food. Can't bring myself to give up the booze, so trying to booze carb free.

>>3402

It tastes best right out of the toilet bowl. If you put it in a glass it loses some of its delicacy.

>>3403

Every little thing helps. You don't have to be perfect.

>>3395

Water

>>3404

Piquant.

>>3395

I'm having a skinny bitch fellow QLDneet

>>3409

Nah, vpn is qldNEET, what's a "skinny bitch"?

>>3408

We've cleaned up our act. It is sobriety and early bedtimes now. And we are all better an happier for it.

https://www.pedestrian.tv/entertainment/last-jedi-mra-fan-edit-women/

>>3403

>>3401

Keep up the good work and win the nurgle prize as executive sized NEETs

>>3345

$9 white goon with woolies zero sugar lemonade

>>3410

I'm not in QLD

>>3413

Is there an actual prize?

>>3415

diabetes

>>3414

Do you white goon drinkers pull the bag out of the box and chuck it in the fridge?

>>3416

My old man lost both legs to diabetes before the hospital killed him.

>>3411

I liked hanging out with drunks. MethNEET should have a couple toots on the glass barbie.

>>3415

If you can get nurgle fuzed to chair level, I'll be happy to purchase you a Dan's gift card. Must include post it note with the date and reference to a recent post number with your email that could be a throw away address

>>3419

That was a shitpost, you really shouldn't

>>3421

Photograph of you by mummybot I mean

>>3418

Please explain. Losing both legs is not a good sign. I knew someone who lost his foot to diabetes. He saved on going to the doctor and went straight to the hospital to have it removed at the gangrene stage

Okay so I have returned from my trip to what turned out to be a brothel.

It took me about an hour and a half to get there in the end, the girl there looked a nit different than the pics I had seen, she was a bit chubby. I ordinarily would have just left and I wanted to but I had spent an hour and a half driving there, I did not want to offend her and that anon wanted me to tell him about it so I figured I would go for half an hour and try to make it as professional as possible and try not to look at her much.

First I got her to give me a blow job which was alright but for the condom. After that we actually did it, I put my finger in first and it was quite loose and dry, when I put my member in it was still lose it kind of made me feel small even though I am not. The experience was not really that good, the condom and her being so loose made it feel mediocre.

Then I waited around to go again which was awkward. What do you even talk to a prostitute about? I almost asked her how long she had been doing it for but thought better of it so then I asked what kind of people she usually saw and she said she saw a lot of middle easterns and she said how many girls she knows don't accept Africans because they are too big and it hurts. Then I kind of gave up on the idea of going again, made an excuse to go home and went to Hungry jacks on the way back.

>>3425

Oh shit mate I am sorry you did not have a great time.

>>3425

audible keks

>>3425

How long did you last with the fuck mate before you came?

>>3425

Was it like fucking water?

Remember the sjw meme that it never gets looser

>>3425

I guess she's one of the girls that doesn't refuse the brothers.

>>3424

He had foot ulcers that wouldn't heal. Feet removed at the ankle. Blood still not circulating so stumps wouldn't heal. Then removed at the knees. Just as he was starting to come good he contracted pneumonia in a supposedly sterile ward and died.

Because he was a chronic asthmatic, anesthesia wasn't an option. He had all the amputations performed sitting up in a chair, watching. He even photographed one of the operations.

>>3426

I kind of expected it.

>>3428

Probably a minute or two.

>>3429

I'd say it was like sticking you dick between two pillows.

>>3425

Sorry it didn't work out.

Are you the SA bloke who posted the picture of a reasonably attractive hooker on Friday?

>>3425

After you came did you take the condom off? And then what? Were you still naked? Did you cuddle her while you were waiting to go again?

>>3425

Thanks for posting.

>>3431

Sorry to hear, my grand father died pneumonia. He had cancer and the hospital put him next to someone with the flu. Having no immune or little from chemotherapy wouldn't have helped. I just do not understand, he did have that disease from asbestos though. Work place safety should never be a joke. Considering the first dangers of asbestos were raised as warnings in 1930s…

>>3425

Shoukd have had a wank

>>3433

Yeah.

>>3434

She took it off and cleaned it up. I didn't really want to cuddle her so I just lay up against the cushions and she came next to me and kept stroking all over me, it started to hurt after a while, I have soft skin.

>>3437

Yeah, I should have.

>>3438

Go have a wank then

>>3438

> it started to hurt after a while, I have soft skin.

this is not the story I was expecting

>>3440

That bit made me chuckle, I must admit.

>>3440

It is pretty much exactly the sort of thing I expected.

>>3439

For you mate.

>>3443

Then have a poo to finish off on a high

>>3417

I put it inside a freezer bag with iceblocks and put some ice cubes in my glass

>>3425

Toppitty kek

I'm not going to an escort after hearing that

>>3447

I suspect it's probably a matter of price point. The expensive non-brothel ones are probably accurate, but short of saving for six months, who can afford that?

>>3447

That pussy would be well abused and like executive sized NEETs they probably eat to get over the pain. They come as they are from sucking many dicks

>>3446

That's not Sad Pepe, he's a big fat phoney

>>3425

How much did this cost you mate? $$$

>>3446

I don't understand this. Are you mocking me or saying I'm a smart NEET?

>>3453

It was a compliment, m80. I thought your bag-in-a-bag ice block method was clever.

>>3451

He infiltrated the meme science lab, sad frog couldn't get in.

>>3454

Fuck off impersonator neet

>>3451

He's sad on the inside

>>3457

He's not impersonator NEET

I am

>>3460

Fuark that's hot

>>3460

why is she hiding her eyeballs, forehead, and hair?

http://www.news.com.au/finance/work/careers/im-42-and-i-want-to-retire/news-story/60cf97bf010a627d6c3bfab1c3f8f89c

Typical ragie wagie, he has Cenno but refused to retire like a NEET

>>3461

If I had a computer right now I know how I'd edit that pic

>>3463

That's where her face ends.

>>3462

>>3463

So people with autism (you) don't track her down on Facebook and fap to her pictures

>>3466

So she's on DSP?

>>3468

You wouldn't know how to be a carer, stop having unrealistic thoughts.

>>3469

Be fuckin' funny for 24-48 hours though

>>3470

Just enough time to have a wank?

>>3470

I'd enjoy skullfucking her cranium-less head.

This f.lux thing is cool, just kicked in and is starting to turn orange.

>>3472

Her cranium would probably be tighter than EscortNEET's hooker's pussy.

>>3474

Kek

>>3474

Seeing your willy poke out the top would be a fun experience.