/ausneets/ - Aus NEETs

BOONG

Post nudes

Everyones fucking employed edition

>>228392

>tfw regret being employed

>>228393

I want to see a NEET do this.

>>228397

I thought you replied to

>>228396

for a sec

>>228398

I also want to see a NEET do that.

>>228399

what thread is this

>>228401

The poo in loo thread

I figured shitposting was allowed there

>>228402

lol I found ya

My estranged motherrobot has sent me half a grand without flinching as soon as I texted her

I'm pretty touched

>>228404

based

>>228403

Kek

I should've posted on leftypol

They haven't had a boong visit in a while

>>228408

You boong

>>228408

Did you listen to that 'yellowman' track I posted?

>>228410

Thats what started my current playlist

>>228409

Ah den den biddabeng bong ben den bong bing bada ba-beng

>tfw you accidently blame /aus/ rather than /ausneets/ for shitposting

>tfw you then find this really funny

Getting gooned listening to UNNA tunes

>>228412

>Ah den den biddabeng bong ben den bong bing bada ba-beng

Ding a ding dang my dang along ling long

It was the one thing left for me to do

>>228415

You groid

>>228414

U LISTENIN TO DIS ONE AGAIN CUZ

DIS IZ SUM DARDY SHIT ERE UNNA

I think I may get rat-arsed drunk

Dunno why, just feel like it

>>228420

>420

maybe weed is a better idea

>>228421

Lol, been smoking since 3am last night m8

guess the NEET

Here comes the hot stepper, murderer

I'm the lyrical gangster, murderer

>>228422

Hitler ya boong

Hope 9k updates us when he sells his loot and posts the cash

>>228422

9.5k neet

>>228421

Might be a better idea if you have gotta wage, no real hangover involved.

Johnny be good tonight

>>228426

Shit, that's me mate

Actually you've got an asioneet thing going on cunt

Hang on, imam hop IP's

Managed to scrape ANOTHER cone out of the old grinder

Desperation is the mother of invention

Anyhow, I got jewed on the bulk deal and I've had to do other things

I now have minions basically

Not even joking,lol

One of them is even a lesbian, I shit you not

They give me money all the time, tbh it's fucking excellent

Pardon my degeneracy

>>228432

You get paid for a lesbian to sex you?

>>228432

Good news mate, you're a wagie now.

Are you growing another crop? How did you get hooked up with the minions, are you part of some other dealers operation or something? A.. cartel you might say

>>228433

No, she looks like a bloke

I give her (((tendies))) and she breaks them up into ((smaller tendies))) then she gives me money

>>228435

oh you run a coke manufactoring business :^)

>>228434

I fucking am m8, it's weird, I have employees

Yes

Not telling sorry

No, not really, maybe a bit sort of

Nah, I know a few people from years ago, it's just old mates pretty much

>>228437

Tendies remember

>tfw no NEET weed dealer

>>228419

>>228414

>tfw no neet sending weed to my paypal

>>228442

Enjoy seroquelNEET.

>>228380

tfw no cruisey's misso gf

>>228442

Does that stuff build up in your system or is it instant effect ?

>>228444

I gotta say, I wouldn't go out with a black girl (no judgement on you Cruisey, personal thing)

But I would like to do one really hard from behind

>>228447

Say please

>>228448

do it cunt

>>228449

Fuck off cunt, I don't even know how to shoop

>>228446

same tbh

>>228451

They do have awesome bums a lot of them

Hey Cruisey, does your missus have a great bum ?

You don't need to post yes, a proud pepe will do.

tfw miss the my missos bum

>>228454

>tfw iktf

>tfw I mean my ex's bum not your ex's bum

>unless there was kinky shenanigans

>>228456

Wednesdays must feel like payday to you since thats when the most shit gets thrown

>>228456

Sea salt chips flavored chocolate, now I've seen it all

>>228457

I think he racked half that shit.

>>228459

Its all from the bin mate, also have t-bone steak

Tonight seems to be degeneracy night

>>228461

It is council meeting night.

>>228460

how do you cook the steak, do you steal a buck for the community BBQ or do you light a fire and hold it over the fire with a stick

>>228461

>>228462

See

>>228456

for the meetings snack pile

>tfw you declare war on an /n+/ "reporter" out of boredom

Think I might cook up this tbone lads its looking good and still cold.

>>228463

There is free public barbaques all over the country mate. Its easy

The train station is oddly empty tonight

>>228467

All the boongs are at the council meeting

And yet the train is still mostly full

>>228461

This is a degenerate board

I gotta get more booze and a feed

You guys are pretty cool

It's weird, I've had a very different life to most here but you guys are closer to what goes on in my head than anywhere else in the world

No homo

>>228461

I'll name you holier than thou neet

>>228472

M8, I named nofuns sisters holier than thou rest of you a while back

>>228471

You're okay streetNEET.

I see the fight between India and Pakistan is heating up. Imagine all the refugees Australia is going to take. hopefully none

>>228474

Lol, no sorry, not him

i'm just having a drunk sperg

>>228471

Hey HoboNEET if I'm ever in Radelaide or what ever neck of the woods you're in I'll shout you some goon

>>228475

I thought it was cricket until realising the poos have shat in pakistan

>>228475

It's just sabre rattling, but if a few nukes get lobbed we could end up with hundreds of thousand more poos.

>>228476

Ah no worries.

>>228477

Cheer mate and I'll shout you some bin steaks

>>228477

>Would unironically have a piss up with HoboNEET down the park and cook up a few stakes

It'd be comfy.

>>228479

Hopefully I can get a qt poojeetta gf.

>>228480

Thanks cunt

>>228482

Theres a poojeta named Reeta down at my local woolies, she always has a nice smile.

>>228481

Kek I'll be in perth on Tuesday maby we can have a sperg barbacue some where in perth?

I've done it again, consumed too much alcohol to early, now I'll wake up at 3am hungover again and have trouble going back to sleep

>>228338

When I have leisure I'll go through and replace those countries with neet titles, based on only the latest and most accurate data. I do agree with you that NK will be going in congo's position. If any of the other neets want to post measurements, go ahead.

>>228485

I'm in Sydney unfortunately.

>>228485

Lol Mate I'm an easterner so no can do

>>228488

>>228489

The west is best lads

gum bash

>>228490

I wanna go to Joondy one day

maybe you can come on the NEET road trip

When youtube stopped suggesting videos like the video your watching and instead suggested videos that are deemed likeable to your profile is when it all went downhill and the internet started to die

>>228492

Already on the neet road trip mate.

Define hobo

cum gnash

tfw wanna go neetabout and eat free chockies

smoke hash

>>228494

true

Anyone like trains? A hobo lobe trains…

rum stash

>>228501

Oh God thats giving me ex-gf flashbacks

>>228501

with Pakistani Nukes

>>228502

monk you boong

>>228501

Give me one and I'll straighten her out

>>228505

with your dick?

>>228506

yes mate

Pay is in and it's increased too

very good

>>228509

looks good, what're you doing there?

>>228510

rape

>>228510

Just doing monikers

Also wiki hobo it'll make sense if you dont know what a hobo is.

night hobos

>>228513

we know what a hobo is

we just like to joke a lot

Peace out niggas, tboner steak was yum and im going to my hobo rape dungeon to sleep

>>228516

i too must sleep

night neets

>>228517

sleep tight neet

Fucking fat bitch at liquorland acted like I was gonna rob the place

Cunt, Imma catch the train to Dans next time

Guess I'm wanking to black girls then

>>228526

#blackgirlsfapper

Going to the dentist after work tomorrow, think one of my fillings fell out

>>228529

That's a boongs drink

Fuck, remembered why I don't buy Talisker

It tastes like disinfectant for the first few

>>228531

>>228532

>>228529

Ya did good, now get rid of those ice cubes.

>>228534

Fair go m8, I put 2 in a half glass

I know, I'm a godless heathen

>>228535

You've got the wrong glass as well.

>>228536

Fuck off nigger

That's a Schott Zweischel cut crystal whisky tumbler

Tell me about my glass motherfucker

Sorry bit ruder than I meant to be

But don't mog my glasses

Back home.

I’ve had no food or alcohol today.

>>228539

Nah, that looks like a poofta glass

>>228540

Have a tendie and a goon

>>228541

Correction its a butt plug

>>228542

No, I think I will go to bed depressed.

>>228544

Sad

>>228544

Don't do that m8

Stay up and have a drink and a yarn

>>228475

All the pajeets at work where talking about how India will easily beat Pakistan, Personally I'd rather Pakistan glass India, 207 million pajeets is better than 1.3 billion..

>>228548

I'm hoping they fight till theres one left on each side

And then they have buttsex

>>228547

You can drink it out of what ever you want m8, but ideally you should get a glass where it funnels the aroma into your nose.

>>228548

The war will only start as soon as pajeet stops looking at bobs on his budget smart phone

>>228550

I have a sniff when I crack the bottle and when I swirl each new glass

I do like it but i'm more into the taste and effect

The Talisker has stopped tasting like disinfectant and tastes good now too btw, which is nice.

>>228552

I have a sniff before just about every sip, the smell and flavor go hand in hand, the glass enhances the experience.

>>228553

I almost envy you that, I just can't quite appreciate it that way

My smell and taste are fucked from 15 years working plastics and 30 smoking baccy and pot though

>>228475

Monk will be as happy as a pig in shit with all the poojeetas

Night Night NEETs

Father

Why are all the women weeping ?

>>228563

1 Corinthians 6:18

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

>>228564

Then Father

Why are all the men there weeping ?

if you google this shit you'll get Nick Cave in a canoe paddling on a cellophane sea, it's actually kinda cool

I am honestly shocked at the lack off applause I received for having a lesbian minion.

Do you have a lesbian minion ?

Does he have a lesbian minion ?

Did any other NEET in the history of /ausneets/

have a lesbian minion ?

Fuck you cunts, you jewed me out of rightful applause.

>>228567

see

>>228564

Anyone know when woolies start half price on bread? Bought a pepperoni pizza and it was delicious, only 75c too.

And how have you cunts been, haven't posted here for like six months

>>228569

>tfw severely impressed

Up n at em neetoes

>>228573

Sup.

>>228575

I had an interesting dream last night. All the eyes of the world were watching me. People kept asking me simple questions but they were all asking in code.

>>228576

Did you crack the code?

Im listing to alex jones on joe rogan. that man is on a whole nother level

>>228578

I preferred him when he was a comedian.

>>228577

Eventually. But by then it was too late and they people were all gone.

Broke my fast with a sausage and egg muffin meal from HJs. Absolute shit.

>>228581

Mince was on special. Mince for every meal.

>>228578

>on a whole nother level

on a whole other level

or

on another level

I am sorry to chide you in front of other board members, but this is simply inexcusable.

>>228583

wholely hell m8, your a bit tough on him

>>228583

it maybe archaic and informal but it is still a word a simple google search will prove this.

their's know need four that

3 weeks without a dart

8 or 9 days without a wank.

Memory clearly affected.

>>228571

Beat em and eat em

>>228593

>>228590

Would probably have to chew mine now.

29 degrees today in Shitbourne, my sister woke me up at a quarter to 6 saying that mummybot has really low blood sugar and I need to take her to the hospital, it turned out that it wasn't too bad as she had a can of coke and felt better, still wasn't too happy with my sister for making such a fuss. It made me pretty stressed, but I didn't say anything about it.

Muffins.

>>228596

A wank will make you feel better

>>228599

GOANNA Muffins.

Not a creature was stirring, Not even a neet

Lunch break time

>>228601

There's NEETs lingering. As for the wagies, they're still in their rage cages.

>>228598

I'll have to wait until I knock off for that

Some weird meth head chick keeps looking at me weird in the libary, fuck junkies

I got fed up with my boss being a retart and walked out of her meeting

>>228606

Well done big man, will you be pussy whipped later for being a disobedient wagie?

>>228607

Probably. I don't really care at the moment.

Need to poo neets

walked out of work without saying anything to the stupid bitch

>>228613

Who care why is this even news, also PT should be free and fuck ticket inspectors.

>>228614

Rude lad

on the other hand, one of the cute young ones who never normally acknowledge my existence said hello. she was wearing a little black dress and high heels.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTk-69f64KU

JP rekts Australian woman

>>228613

he should have fingered her

if she was truly meditating she wouldn't have known

alright this was weird. I was at the train station and then a lot of teenage girls with camping backpacks I assume came but is not as if I live in some rural area the closes area to camp at would be 10 km away.

>>228620

maybe they're going to hike the last bit

or get a bus?

>>228621

Well there catching the train into the city. It sort of makes sense if they caught a bus to the edge of the bush an they hiked the rest. I guess I freaked out because I definitely don't class where I live as close to the bush but I guess to cbd folk it would be.

>>228581

Should have gotten a breakky hero roll

>>228584

heh

>>228588

Good work

I haven't wanked or eaten today

>>228605

Tell her you have a pipe for her to smoke

>>228606

your a retart

Won $11365 on the pokes while waiting for my pizza.

>>228595

Boong afternoon

>>228612

Better colour than yesterday, could still be better.

>>228616

>>228623

hot

>>228631

Proof needed.

>>228633

Let me finish the pizza and I'll take a photo.

>>228623

What fidget thing is that under your desk?

>>228635

Was it a Domino's pizza?

>>228637

Nah, local independent.

I bought a medium turtle dock for the turtle, when in hindsight, I should have bought a small turtle dock.

>>228639

I plug my tortoise into an Apple dock

>>228640

Does it charge fast?

>>228631

Only just noticed the extra 1. It was $1365.

>>228642

richNEET

>>228641

So fast that sparks come out its arsehole.

>>228645

This gone in the commune fund asap

>>228646

If I ever won one of those big lotto draws, I would totally help establish the commune. Land, cabins and sewerage/power connectivity for sure.

>>228645

Nice, thank you.

>>228647

I would buy NEETs quality rape mobiles

https://efukt.com/22735_Unforgivable.html

>Lovely.

I got ID'd at Dans today. Had to go to my car and get my license.

Something was off, I was in what you could call a bad mood and the girl could somehow tell. She asked if I had a Dans card and when I said no she applied the discount anyway.

>>228651

I’m sorry, is this a good news story or a bad news story? My tism prevents me processing conflicting emotions.

>>228653

Aren't they all on YouTube?

>>228654

Indeed. a girl asking for your ID at Dan's is actually a codephrase for offering you a handie. You don't want to know what they do at Craig's

>>228653

The mother scene at the start is all too accurate

>>228654

I bet Dan goes all George Pell on his young employees..

>>228642

>>228645

Congrats mate, don't spend it at Dans.

>>228616

She is attracted to your rough, rugged edge.

>>228636

A foot fidget spinner thing.

>>228661

I have tomorrow off work. Motherbot is getting her NBN installed.

>>228660

Her boyfriend is a Chad in one of the other buildings here. I could take him in a fight, but I can't compete with his body/face/pen0r.

>>228663

I got a letter saying they have commenced installing it in the street, I have no clue what they will be doing other than it will be done whether someone is home or not.

>>228661

Then you can do all your weekend waging. Then I'm afraid it's back to work for mr shekelstein for another week.

>>228665

They did Motherbot's street months and months ago. Hers is FTTP (Fibre to the Premises), so they rant the ffibre up her yard to a box on her outside wall. Tomorrow some nerd drills a hole in the wall and runs more fibre into the house and terminates it with some fibre-to-cat5 bullshit I am assuming.

>>228666

I'm getting some Hybrid fiber coax shit, apparently they just have to do something to the wires outside then give me some nbn box thing and then plug it into the pay tv socket and organise some new nbn plan with my service provider.

>>228648

That was beautiful, one of the best music pieces you've posted.

Compared to the guy who was playing yesterday, he's way better.

>>228651

>Had to go to my car and get my license.

Why wasn't it in your wallet? Or why wasn't your card or cash in your wallet?

>>228664

I bet your pen0r bends in all the right ways. She doesn't know what she's missing.

>>228670

It's the current year and I pay for things with my phone

>>228672

>with my phone

Fucking kids and their gizmo's.

>>228674

Pay prosties with your card and reverse the transaction when you leave.

>>228675

Hot

>>228675

What an age to be alive.

>>228677

Knowing my luck that would turn into a rape charge or something.

>>228678

>>228676

Motivational porn

>>228681

What happened this time?

>>228681

Fuck that's pretty rough m8

>>228681

FOR FUCK SAKE MONK

I hope it wasn't a result of his bender the other night.

>>228687

You have no sense of occasion, anon.

>>228687

That's not nice, tomorrow you should go back and apologise to her for not saying thank you.

>>228681

What did you do? Wank into the bosses coffee?

>>228686

There wasn't one.

It was incompetence. Forgetfulness. Asking the same questions multiple times.

How embarrassing it is to not even make it to the end of the week.

>>228688

its a small win, usually i cave in to social pressure

>>228691

Are you Monk or tintingNEET?

>>228691

Well, Dan's expecting you now.

>>228691

So what's next? looking for another job or going back to the warehouse?

I wonder if there any poo warehousing jobs on the east coast for this NEET

>>228681

Would you make a good prostitute? Flexible working conditions and no experience is needed to begin.

>>228696

You can work at Bunnings and sell sheep poo

I'm going to try and get with monks Missouri tbh

>>228702

Misso*

I'm going to try and drink Monk's Midori

>>228704

Just Golden Oak champagne mate, thats what I got the discount on.

DISCORD

I'm howling at the moon

Cunts who put smileys in emails are just the most punchable fucks ever aye

>>228705

How much did you save?

>>228708

>IKTF

****

>>228709

5 bucks

>>228610

Zephaniah 1:11

Wail, you who live in the market district; all your merchants will be wiped out, all who trade with silver will be destroyed.

>>228702

Sure you don't want cruisey's congo?

>>228713

Why not both?

>>228627

Have a wank and eat the cum

>>228715

Never waste that nutrients.

>>228653

Dan wasn't even a thing on the neet threads back then

>>228711

You can gets Dan's VIP card on your phone and they scan the screen. Save that change for next time you visit Dan's.

>>228707

I hate fucken emojis with a passion, and my mother always sends me those top text bottom text shitty 'memes', which I would have no problem with if they weren't so bland

>>228719

Some mummybots never give up hope on their special little boy >>228650

I have gone to bed.

Night all.

>>228720

B-but I've got my own shack now, I'm not a robot I swear!

>>228691

Some places are harder than others, places where they expect you to know everything off the bat are hard to stick with and probably have high turnovers anyway

>>228721

Nights only just starting stay the fuck up

>>228719

>>228707

I hate emojis but love to do :^) posts

>>228717

Yes it was but it was early days for Dan posts

>>228725

^ > ^

••

>>228691

You could always try the dexies like I did, I started off making a few mistakes which pissed me off because the job isn't too hard (we stock over 3 thousand medical items and it's really easy to make a mistake if your not paying attention) then I started treatment and I make the least amount of mistakes than anyone in the country now.

They put me in for other training over the other cunts since I can pick up the software a lot faster than anyone else and hardly ever fuck up.

Boss reckons I'm gonna get movie vouchers from head office for my good performance

>>228727

:^)

>>228730

Schitso

>>228728

I thought I'd definitely use this case as a reason for getting some dexies actually. After all, it turns out I really am a fuckin casework profile. I'm so overcome with anxiety and pressure that I just can't focus, I say "oh yeah, yeah alright" as instinct whenever someone explains something, I don't even take in what they're saying, I just want to seem like I get it even if I don't.

I dunno if this is unique to me or if this is a result of spending my whole youth staring at video games and websites. Even now, I'll have 10 tabs open and they're all things related to what I really have to do, no funny business, and I just click between them. No real action, no progress. 15 seconds and I click on the next one, a digital version of checking the fridge every 15 minutes.

Even just to maintain my health and bare metal finances I have to write things down in a book I've got. Sometimes I even get hungry and realsie I've forgotten to eat. It's embarrassing but in the end, I guess I'm a fucking brainlet that was destined for nothing.

The least I could get is some pharmaceutical speed.

>>228732

Well shit I'm the exact same as you are really (I'm not the same neet you replied to)

I'm doing shit at TAFE right now, I find I can concentrate for like an hour during the day but after that I just can't, like you said I pretend to understand what I'm asked to do, and look like a fucking idiot later on when I don't understand.

Maybe I should look into getting dexies too…

>>228681

>No friends

I'm your friend Monk

>>228733

>>228732

How do you get it from the doctor without appearing like a drug seeker though?

>>228697

nice webm

>>228735

Playing the victim to psychiatric jews is easier than expected. Research before you go, lead them on and then throw in some actual personal shit and they will believe it.

They don't expect awkward neets to wanna smoke dexies on tin foil

>>228737

Does a GP prescribe dexies?

>>228738

Sow your story to a GP, he will refer you to a psych, where you gotta lay down the ground work

I'd keep away from dexies, they lead to low quality poos

>>228740

I'm putting dextroamphetamine in my cones regardless. Poo's be damned

>>228707

Emoji's in general are rage inducing.

>>228721

Good night

Just spent 45 mins on the after hours.

>>228744

boo hoo you have a job

post another pic of your pants, fuckstick

sorry mate

>>228681

It's always darkest after the wage, you'll be alright m8 just keep positive

>>228747

Its 28 degrees in adelaide an youre wearing tracksuit pants.

Please explain - are you wealthy enough to afford aircon?

Onomastics is an interesting subject.

>>228748

even if I was wealthy I wouldn't have the aircon on, can't stand it - hate normies that have it on in the office 24/7 and complain about a 1C temp change

>>228750

Yeah me too

trackie pride

So what anime's have you guys been watching lately?

NK can you give some dexie tips

>>228752

sengoku rance

So quiet on the gen tonight

>>228752

I've been watching the gen, that's enough drama to be an anime

He sees the stars are out tonight

And all of it is yours and mine

And all of it is yours and mine

Oh, let's ride and ride and ride and ride

>>228753

First step is the most important one, you must have a wank.

Then you go to some gp for a refferal, they'll pull out a book to look for psychs that specialise in adult adhd but there will be long ass waiting times on those.

Once you have the refferal try the one the gp recommended and if the wait time is logger than three months forget it, search the psychiatry guild? Website and it will list all of them in your city and should tell you an average wait time (remember they have to specialise in adhd or they'll be no use)

Once you found one that has a short wait time call their office up and ask when the next appointment is avaliable (I got mine in 2 weeks) then call up your gp to have your refferal changed(you don't need an a appointment for this).

Some psychs will wanna see school reports and talk to family members but the lower profile ones (like my one) won't and will just talk to you for an hour to see how much of a retard you are.

If they think you should take dexies then they'll give you a form to fill out and give you a refferal for a drug test (you need to be clean), once all that fuckery is out of the way you will get your first 200 pills with no repeats. If it works for you then they'll give you 5-6 repeats so you don't have to see them all the time

>>228758

I forgot to mention the drug test is usually done at another place, my psych Didint give a fuck that I smoked weed he just said to abstain for a week then so the test and come back