[–]▶ No.56576[Last 50 Posts]>>56578 >>56586 >>67170 [Watch Thread][Show All Posts]
You will never have a qt loli vampire that invites you to lap pillows with a soft, motherly smile.
____________________________
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▶ No.56578 >>56579 >>56580 >>56583
>>56576 (OP)
>Remi
>Motherly
She's got the personality of a sly Grandma in retirement with sociopathic tenancies (vampire, duh) hidden behind a mask of childlike demeanor and outward behaviour.
At best, she's trying to act above her age in appearance, but as far as I'm concerned per the eternal rules of vampire loli since interview with the vampire, she's really a 1zip file compressed OL stuck in a body that can never meet her longing to be a true woman.
Her fucking sister is the kind of girl you fuck with Daddy/daughter play and take no fucking chances with when it comes to pleasing her, next to exorbant amounts of excessive "if you showed this to someone not into it it would convert him" Anal sex.
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▶ No.56579
>>56578
>Daddy/daughter play with Flandre
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▶ No.56580 >>56637
>>56578
I am curious to know why you think Flan would be into anal
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▶ No.56583 >>56584
>>56578
>stuck in a body that can never meet her longing to be a true woman
She doesn't really need a developed body to be able to make a fine woman out of her.
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▶ No.56584 >>56589
>>56583
It should be developed enough to make the act not be excruciatingly painful for her.
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▶ No.56586
>>56576 (OP)
Kurumi would make more sense for this though.
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▶ No.56589 >>56593 >>56595 >>56600
>>56584
Don't let her young form fool you. You just need to take it slowly. Help her to relax. Rub and cares her all over. Let your fingers dance around her puffy lips. Wrap your free arm around her and pull her into a kiss as you tease her sensitive clit. She might come to a shaky climax; that is fine. Just hold her tight and cares her back as she shakes and catches her breath. When she recovers, lie her down on the bed. After making sure she's wet and ready, and that you're sufficiently lubed up, line up your penis and slowly, gently penetrate her. It is important that you hold still and let her get used to your member being buried inside of her. Pet her head and comfort her with words until she relaxes and is ready for you to move. Take it slow at first; long and gentle thrusts. Take her hands into yours and you begin to build speed. Enjoy the look of rapture on her face as you pound her pussy. If she wraps her legs or wings around you, hug her back in kind and give her a deep, passionate kiss. When you start getting close, let her know. If she approves, begin pounding her with fast short strokes and pour your love deep inside her. Hold her tight as she convulses around your member. Stay together like this; petting her head and enjoying each other's company. When you've fully softened you may pull out and clean her up. Afterwards rejoin her in bed. Cuddle up to her and and make some sweet talk until you fall asleep in each other's arms.
That is how you should make love to your Remi.
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▶ No.56593
>>56589
This man knows some good damn manners. Gg dude.
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▶ No.56595 >>56597
>>56589
I tried to touch her shoulders and she snapped my neck instantly
the yama is letting me post this from hell as a warning
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▶ No.56597
>>56595
You're supposed to have developed a loving relationship first, and have her be willing to do it with you. You can't just jump her out of nowhere.
Respawn and try again, fairy.
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▶ No.56600 >>56603
>>56589
Nice short lewd story.
Learn to use paragraphs though.
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▶ No.56603 >>56609
>>56600
Sorry. Writing a story is more difficult when you're doing it on a phone, writing in short bursts over a 90 minute period because you're supposed to be working at that time.
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▶ No.56608 >>56610 >>56611
If you bully her in the sun and snort her burning body you become immortal, right?
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▶ No.56609 >>56611
>>56603
wew
That's some nice work ethics you have.
It's a reason why I don't use phone for 8ch.
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▶ No.56610 >>56612
>>56608
Yes, unless she severs your head for this.
You still have vampire weaknesses so no running water or sunlight for you.
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▶ No.56611 >>56612
>>56608
Pretty sure that isn't how it works. Also don't do that.
>>56609
I don't like this job, but it's something where I can check my phone once in a while without causing trouble. Plus it's something to do on breaks.
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▶ No.56612
>>56610
I don't think it turns you into a vampire.
>>56611
>Pretty sure that isn't how it works.
It was like Reimu's good ending in Eosd being something Remilia mentioning.
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▶ No.56637
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▶ No.56644 >>56646
I hope he draws more bully pics.
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▶ No.56646 >>56648
>>56644
Do not bully the vampire.
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▶ No.56648 >>56674
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▶ No.56674
>>56648
Sakuya would probably be more useful as a maid than a bloodbag
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▶ No.56676 >>56677 >>56704
How would you convince the vampires to not eat you or do something even worse?
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▶ No.56677 >>56680 >>56681
>>56676
>not wanting to be eaten
I would beg to become their slave or maybe lie
about having a bloodborne disease
Would rather the something even worse option
though.
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▶ No.56680 >>56681
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▶ No.56681 >>56682 >>56700
>>56677
>>56680
If you enslave yourself to them that means they can do whatever they want with you. You're giving your life to them on a silver platter. Is that really something you want to do?
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▶ No.56682 >>56683 >>56689
>>56681
>Doesn't want to be a slave to a master.
I bet you're not even into power play you sick fuck.
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▶ No.56683
>>56682
Who said I wasn't into it? I'm just stating the facts here
>power play
That's a funny joke
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▶ No.56684
Oh come on, that's not fair!
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▶ No.56689 >>56711
>>56682
I'm not into power play at all. Love needs no dom or sub.
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▶ No.56700 >>56701 >>56716
>>56681
>Is that really something you want to do?
Yes.
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▶ No.56701
>>56700
Remi and Shinny are really cute together.
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▶ No.56704 >>56754
>>56676
Serious answer?
By not being an ass.
I imagine you'd have to do some pretty stupid and rude shit to piss them off to that point, they're not going to kill you just for existing near them unless you're home invading or something, and in the case of doing that during danmaku incidents that just tends to be bants and magic fights, so that's some pretty heavy duty leniency. Granted in regards to the events of EoSD they were probably aware of the shrine maidens existence and job in the first place, so it's not like it was a 100% completely unknown stranger busting into the house come to kill everyone or something.
Remilia's a good girl where it counts and just likes putting on airs and pretending to be a villain.
Flandre hasn't met humans prior to EoSD, save for potentially Sakuya who she may think isn't human, so the "WILL KILL YOU AND KILLS HUMANS ALL THE TIME" rumors are full of shit. It's highly doubtful she's met anymore since Reimu and Marisa, that said I would avoid direct physical activity if you wanted to be sure. I imagine her expectations are higher of humans when her only experiences with them are magically empowered people.
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▶ No.56711 >>56713
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▶ No.56713 >>56715
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▶ No.56715
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▶ No.56716 >>56719 >>56738
>>56700
But they'll end up playing with you to death or they'll just get bored of you. Either way you'll end up being their dinner. Is that really the way you want things to go?
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▶ No.56719 >>56720
>>56716
>Not wanting to be played with to death by a 2hu.
Dude get the hell off of this board.
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▶ No.56720 >>56721
>>56719
Dying is bad you fucking retard.
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▶ No.56721 >>56731
>>56720
Fairies here told me about Jesus and God so it's okay if I die.
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▶ No.56723 >>56724
Oh boy, time for story time. We have Shinitai Flan Flan Wants to Die by Tsukumizu Yuu. Same artist behind Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou
https://exhentai.org/g/1128139/d1d835cd21/
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▶ No.56724 >>56725
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▶ No.56725 >>56726
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▶ No.56726 >>56727
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▶ No.56727 >>56728
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▶ No.56728
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▶ No.56730
So she runs over a mentally disabled kid and sees Alice is spending her life recreating Marisa instead of moving on so she decides to not kill herself? Ok. Gonna try finishing my edit for this soon. Have this in the mean time.
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▶ No.56731 >>56732
>>56721
I don't think God likes it when people commit brb gensokyo, you know? Even if it's by proxy
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▶ No.56732 >>56733 >>56735 >>61085
Done.
>>56731
Meh, as long as I "repent" for my sins first then I'll go straight to heaven. There are plenty of retarded loop holes in the bible like that.
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▶ No.56733
>>56732
Damn it I always see these little problems only after I post these.
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▶ No.56735 >>56736
>>56732
You can't repent while in the middle of killing yourself.
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▶ No.56736
>>56735
Repent first, then get raped by Flan.
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▶ No.56738 >>56751
>>56716
>playing with you to death
That's exactly what I want to happen you fucking
nerd.
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▶ No.56751 >>56753 >>56762
>>56738
Anon please, I'm trying to save your life here. You don't want to get played to death by vampires
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▶ No.56753 >>56757
>>56751
>I'm trying to save your life here
What's the point in life if you're unhappy? If you've never truly played? Besides, that's ironic coming from you.
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▶ No.56754 >>56755
>>56704
>vampires dont attack you if you are nice
>so does:
>yuuka
>onis
>pretty much every high level youkai
>budhists
>etc etc
being nice is a super power. i would read a mango about a postman or some shit in gensokyo that gives mail to some retardadly strong girls and gets away with everything because he has some manners
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▶ No.56755
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▶ No.56757 >>56763
>>56753
'Played to death' is a Chinese(?) expression for when kids 'accidentally' kill their pets by playing with them too roughly. You don't want to be that pet do you?
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▶ No.56762 >>56774
>>56751
>You don't want to get played to death
I want to die anyway being killed by cute vampires
would only be a bonus.
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▶ No.56763 >>56766 >>56774
>>56757
I want to be a touhou's pet.
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▶ No.56766 >>56767
>>56763
I want to be a Touhou's pillow
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▶ No.56767
>>56766
I wanna be traumatized by the pedo.
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▶ No.56774 >>56775
>>56762
Even if you do actually want to die you shouldn't seek to become sustenance for vampires
>>56763
You won't feel too bad if they "accidentally" break you and look for a replacement will you?
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▶ No.56775 >>56779
>>56774
>Not wanting a 2hu to break you.
Lol, fag.
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▶ No.56779 >>56780
>>56775
You don't mind if they replace you afterward then?
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▶ No.56780 >>56785 >>56795
>>56779
Christfags here said that it doesn't count as cuckoldry if you're dead. Even if they believe your soul is still alive which by their own definition your soul is being cucked.
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▶ No.56785 >>56786
>>56780
I guess what I'm asking is if he would enter into this kind of 'relationship' knowing he's entirely disposable. Also, I don't know what the soul rule is on allowing yourself to be killed by vampires
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▶ No.56786 >>56790
>>56785
I like the feeling of being a useless and disposable toy in sex. It feels humiliating.
>I don't know what the soul rule is on allowing yourself to be killed by vampires
Jesus said to turn the other cheek, so in this case he means to help them help themselves.
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▶ No.56790 >>56793
>>56786
>in sex
Another funny joke, I'm sure they'll find ways to humiliate you but I doubt they would honour a slave with sex
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▶ No.56793 >>56794
>>56790
>Implying they don't rape their food cause they can.
Or are you just projecting your lack of sex onto my fantasies?
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▶ No.56794 >>56796
>>56793
I'm not trying to tell you you're thinking wrong, all I'm saying is that they'd be more likely to use you as a footstool than a semen slave. But look at it this way, they can't rape their property
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▶ No.56795 >>56796
>>56780
I don't think you know what cuckholdry is; you just want an excuse to bash Christians again.
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▶ No.56796 >>56799
>>56794
>more likely to use you as a footstool than a semen slave
Ok one, being a foot stool is hot. Two, why wouldn't they want to fuck their property?
>But look at it this way, they can't rape their property
Yes, they can. If they slapped me in the face and told me I was their bitch and that should shut up and enjoy it while they know full well I'm about to piss myself in fear then they are getting off to the idea of have so much power over me. Thus, they are raping me.
>>56795
>I don't think you know what cuckholdry is
Originally it was used to refer to the person being cheated and they didn't know it. It was called cuck-oldry cause the man in said senario was a fool, like a chicken. Then the word evolved to being a guy who gets off to being cheated on. I'm using cuck cause you're being cheated on while your spouse knows full well you are watching her from heaven so she's getting off to the idea that she's cheating on you and you know and will not stop it. I think you're a christfag who can't handle people pointig out stupid shit in your religion so you dismiss me and ignore what I say instead of actually taking your think to digest it and actually come up with a real refutation instead of a contradiction. *Tips trilby fedora* my faggot.
>you just want an excuse to bash Christians again.
I don't need an excuse to make fun of christianity.
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▶ No.56799 >>56805
>>56796
But you see, if you enslave yourself to them you give up your right to consent to their behaviour. It's impossible for them to rape you because they own you completely. You can say you're being raped if you want to (or the opposite) but the reality is that your life is their plaything and what you think doesn't matter. Though I get the feeling you'd probably enjoy being tortured by them
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▶ No.56805
>>56799
The point is is that if they want to rape me then I'm getting raped. It's not consensual sex if they want me to fight back cause fighting back is half the fun.
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▶ No.57021 >>57027 >>57028
You will never ravage the holes of a qt loli vampire and pump them full of cum
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▶ No.57027
>>57021
Hopefully you won't be killed for not giving one of them enough attention or just on a whim
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▶ No.57028 >>57041
>>57021
why aren't you quoting?
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▶ No.57041
>>57028
Because I am stating
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▶ No.57049 >>57050 >>57052 >>57066
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▶ No.57050 >>57052
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▶ No.57052 >>57056
>>57049
>>57050
How come all Chinese vampires look alike?
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▶ No.57056 >>57060
>>57052
The only recurring elements are the ofuda and Chinese clothes, though. Sharp fangs and/or claws are relatively optional.
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▶ No.57060
>>57056
Those 3 look very similar.
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▶ No.57066 >>57068
>>57049
I wanna steal her hat!
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▶ No.57068 >>57095 >>57106
>>57066
Seiga already stole most of her dignity and her mind. Don't be a bully by stealing her hat atop of that.
Or at least let me try it beforehand. I wanna see Yoshika making the biggest pout in the world while moaning "Give it baaaaaaaack!"
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▶ No.57095 >>57097
>>57068
>Seiga already stole most of her dignity and her mind.
Seiga's so cool.
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▶ No.57097 >>57101
>>57095
Icy cool. As expected of a deranged sociopath.
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▶ No.57101
>>57097
>deranged sociopath
Dude, she's helping people get on the true path. She's awesome.
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▶ No.57106 >>57110 >>57117 >>57123 >>61504
>>57068
I want Seiga to steal my dignity, mind and hat.
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▶ No.57110 >>57121 >>57123
>>57106
That would require you to have any dignity in the first place, fairy.
Also, a hat.
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▶ No.57117 >>57119 >>57121
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▶ No.57119 >>57123
>>57117
I wouldn't mind becoming Seigas little boy
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▶ No.57121
>>57110
Rude, I'll have you know I own several hats.
>>57117
Sorry, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I only like being verbally abused by cute anime girls.
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▶ No.57123
>>57106
>>57119
Holy shit, people with good taste? On /2hu/? Damn!
>>57110
I want Seiga to send Yoshi to rape me in front of you just to break your heart.
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▶ No.57128
I wanna blow Yoshi's head off to free her from Seiga.
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▶ No.57548 >>61088
>tfw neither Remi nor Flandre will ever snuggle up beside you in bed to bask in your body heat because their own bodies no longer produce warmth.
>tfw you will never see the content smile on their faces after their bodies, first cold as the grave, slowly warm up until they match your own temperature
>tfw they will never frantically apologize to you when you have caught a common cold on the next morning.
Why live?
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▶ No.61085 >>61086 >>61100
>>56732
That’s not how it works, you dumb prot.
brb gensokyo is one of the things that gets you an express ticket downstairs.
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▶ No.61086 >>61089 >>61097 >>61100
>>61085
First of all please don't bully second Catholics are not christian.
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▶ No.61088 >>61097
>>57548
I didn't want to remember the pain from this post.
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▶ No.61089 >>61097
>>61086
Entirely correct, Catholics are likely Youkai as well.
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▶ No.61090 >>61091
vampires are cute I guess
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▶ No.61091
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▶ No.61097 >>61100
>>61086
>>61088
>>61089
All christcucks are the first to go to (((hell))), now fuck off from my oriental pagan board (((Abrahamics)))
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▶ No.61100 >>61107
>>61085
Nuh, uh. That's totally how it works!
>>61086
>Catholics are not christian.
Yeah they are, if they aren't then Islam is the largest religion out there. Why do ye hate Catholicism?
>>61097
You're post made me realize some thing. Christianity was made by and for jews right? And it tells its followers to give up all they own and be content with Jesus loving them. Does this mean christianity is the cuck of religions?
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▶ No.61107 >>61111
>>61100
>Does this mean christianity is the cuck of religions?
No, it's islam after their (((prophet))) was cucked by his groomed loli.
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▶ No.61108 >>61111 >>61114 >>61128 >>61505
Could you inbred faggots please take your religious discussion and put it into the Rabbit Rabbit thread just like all the other cancer?
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▶ No.61111 >>61114
>>61107
I find it funny how you say the prophet of islam was a jew despite the prophet of (((christianity))) repeatedly stated he himself was jewish.
>>61108
Hey, I'm not the only getting pissy over a post made 4 months ago. Besides, what'll you do? Ban me?
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▶ No.61114 >>61119
>>61111
>I find it funny how you say the prophet of islam was a jew despite the prophet of (((christianity))) repeatedly stated he himself was jewish.
All desert (((religions))) are the same garbage for me.
>>61108
>Could you inbred faggots please take your religious discussion and put it into the Rabbit Rabbit thread just like all the other cancer?
Don't worry it's last post I will made about it in this thread.
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▶ No.61119
>>61114
Including christianity? Ok.
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▶ No.61128 >>61133
>>61108
I don't think SCP agents would have "SCP" on their armor
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▶ No.61133
>>61128
Good point, actually. Although I suppose personnel used for internal security matters (i.e., trying and failing to prevent Flandre from tearing everyone involved a second and third asshole) might have the imprint.
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▶ No.61148 >>61157
Don't forget to cuddle with your vampire.
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▶ No.61157 >>61186
>>61148
This Anon knows what's up.
You will never be the Meiling, making you the only person so stupidly good-natured that the Scarlet Devil herself isn't embarrassed to ask you for a hug
You will never fuck Meiling, either
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▶ No.61181 >>61182
I want to hold remilia close to me and stroke her hair as she sucks the blood from my wrist
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▶ No.61182 >>61186
>>61181
I think she'd demand to drink blood from the neck, though. One thing I've been wondering is if that's dangerous though, since blood is usually drawn from the arm, but if taken from the neck it could lead to a lack of blood flow to the brain or worse.
That's a nice fantasy though
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▶ No.61186
>>61157
I've been and been with Meiling in my dreams before, so it's not impossible.
>>61182
A bite somewhere other than the neck isn't outside the realm of possibility. Still, she's known for eating light and being messy, so at least you'll only feel dizzy afterwards. Plus the hug and petting would feel more intimate.
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▶ No.61203 >>61207 >>61210
It appears Remi really wants some pancakes.
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▶ No.61207
>>61203
I guess I'm pancakes then.
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▶ No.61210 >>61235
>>61203
If she wants pancakes, then I'd be happy to oblige.
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▶ No.61235
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▶ No.61338 >>61339 >>61478 >>61480 >>61506 >>61508 >>61534 >>61554
Remilia is looking for new talent to hire at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. What position would you like to be employed as? No, you can't be hired in for a romantic or promiscuous position.
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▶ No.61339 >>61343
>>61338
Remi with glasses is weirdly cute.
As for the job - what would someone like her even need?
<Domestic Work: Sakuya/Fairy Maids
<Security and Gardening: Meiling
<Library: Patche, Koa
And I sure as hell am not suicidal enough to become a nanny for Flandre.
At the very best, I could imagine becoming some kind of PR monkey for the contact between the Scarlet Devil Mansion and the Human Village - bartering for goods can be quite difficult when everyone rightfully thinks you are a bloodsucking monster.
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▶ No.61343
>>61339
Additional help is always welcome in those fields.
Domestic work is handled mostly by Sakuya, as the fairies are rather incompetent. Just because she can handle it alone, doesn't mean she should. It's pretty stressful.
While you might not be able to act as a guard, the garden's a big place. Meiling would appreciate the help. If you could do it alone, she wouldn't have to leave the gate unguarded like she normally would need to, but she probably enjoys that time away from the gate.
Patchouli is a friend rather than an employee, doing odd jobs on occasion. Still, it's a big library. Acting as an assistant librarian would be of great help.
Plus there are other jobs you could perform, with a bit of imagination. Your PR idea is a good one. If that's not your cup of tea, you could take a telescope up to one of the towers and be an astrologer/star gazer. Or you could take up a position related to the usage of modern science in a magical realm.
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▶ No.61478 >>61489
>>61338
Applying for belly masseur. Remilia always looks to be in need of such a role, which I will very, very happily provide for.
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▶ No.61480 >>61487 >>61489
>>61338
Inspector of panties and bloomers and cute hats.
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▶ No.61487 >>61489 >>61544
>>61480
Okay, but we already have someone staffed for Remi so you'll be assigned to the Flan unit.
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▶ No.61489 >>61491 >>61492 >>61507 >>61544
>>61478
Lewd. A general masseuse would be acceptable. No happy endings. As a professional, you'll be expected to keep your hands away from a lady's private places.
>>61480
Pantsu? Bloomers? No way.
If you can sew, then you can do maid uniform inspection and repair. You're not allowed to peek up skirts or forcibly strip them. Instead you will provide spare clothing and allow the girls to redress in private.
>>61487
Any duties related specifically to Flan's care will pay double, while general duties that occasionally require you to interact with her for at least 30 minutes will be compensated as over time pay, rounded to the nearest hour. For playmates, health, life and ad&d insurance will be fully covered by us.
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▶ No.61491 >>61497
>>61489
>No happy endings
Haha, jokes on you; merely being employed at the Scarlet Devil Mansion is a happy ending.
Where do they get money from anyways?
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▶ No.61492 >>61497
>>61489
Is there insurance for employees? Will hazmat suits be provided when dealing with the Flan or how will that be arranged?
Also, can I touch your wings?
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▶ No.61497 >>61501
>>61491
>Where do they get money from anyways?
Tribute from humans and conquered states while they were still in the outside world, maybe.
>>61492
>Is there insurance for employees?
There is basic health insurance for most employees, and more advanced plans for specialized jobs.
>Will hazmat suits be provided when dealing with the Flan or how will that be arranged?
There are hazmat suits for squeamish cleaners, depending on the situation. The goal for Flan's attendants is to help her control herself and her powers, so hopefully they won't be required. They may see more usage if certain positions are filled.
Is it your first time seeing someone with wings? Magnificent, aren't they? They're rather sensitive, so I'm not fond of letting people touch them. B-but I'll allow it. Just this once, okay? Be gentle; a lady's wings are delicate.
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▶ No.61501 >>61513
>>61497
Can I suggest Mokou as Flandres next playmate?
I'd still take the position as a PR monkey.
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▶ No.61502 >>61513
>tfw you were beyond satisfied at the mere prospects of being Remilia's masseur but apparently they're offering you pay as well
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▶ No.61504
>>57106
Alright, no. That's where I draw the line. You can steal my dignity, you can steal my mind, you can even steal my money. But I refuse to let my hat be stolen.
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▶ No.61505
>>61108
The more I think about it, the more I realize that the ultimate anti-vampire weapon is a nuclear device.
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▶ No.61506 >>61513
>>61338
Maintenance and Security.
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▶ No.61507 >>61513
>>61489
>Give Remilia an extremely arousing, yet still professional, massage
>She is compelled to ask you to finish, developing an increasingly mounting and pressing desire if she doesn't
Absolutely Scarlet devilish
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▶ No.61508 >>61509 >>61513 >>61527
>>61338
Does the mansion need a sysadmin?
If not I am a decent cook, mechanic and have some schooling in medicine I never finished.
I also know my way around a rifle and would have no problem doing long patrols around the mansion or just being general cannon fodder.
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▶ No.61509 >>61513
>>61508
Same deal. I'm more than willing to be cannon fodder if it means I get work for them.
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▶ No.61513 >>61525
>>61501
Depending on who you ask (fanwork), that may be a great or a poor idea. Use your own discretion.
>>61502
Good work deserves compensation.
>>61506
General maintenance? That's fine. Welcome aboard.
>>61507
Nothing to stop her from relieving herself in private instead.
>>61508
Sis sad men?
Koumakandoes not have any computers. Another cook is welcome, especially if you know recipes that Sakuya doesn't. Variety is the spice of life. A mechanic would not be necessary, unless you can find or build something interesting. Your training in medicine would very rarely be needed, but would help in a pinch, even if it's only to buy more time on the way to Eientei.
>>61509
A good lord takes care of her underlings. If you have no particular skills, then there is plenty of opportunity in general housekeeping or surveillance. If you have the aptitude, perhaps you could take an apprenticeship under Patchouli or Sakuya.
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▶ No.61525
>>61513
>Indeed, nothing stops her
>But she could always have the real deal, especially considering her developing desire from the lacking of it
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▶ No.61527
>>61508
Wow. You are beautiful and useful too. I'd hire you in an instant. There's an open wife position in my mansion for a while now. Please call back.
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▶ No.61534
>>61338
Tower Lookout / Security If a gameboy can get spirited away then a abandoned rifle from a forgotten trench can too
Also taking care of Flandre, I still think that she just needs a good father figure.
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▶ No.61544 >>61546
>>61489
>>61487
I can't sew at a level the job requires of me. So I will revise the position I am interested in, but same department.
I wish to express my great interest in applying for the position of officialsniffer of pantsu, bloomers and cute hats of the Scarlet Devil mansion. I don't have to perform the specific task while they are directly worn at the time. A few minutes freshly tossed into the hamper is fine.
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▶ No.61546 >>61552
>>61544
This gave me an idea: Vampires produce no body heat, right? Meaning that their beds/coffins stay cold when they sleep, and a cold bed is hardly comfortable.
Introducing: The Bedwarmer!
Some hapless mortal who sleeps in the bed before its immortal owner does so herself; thus turning the space under the blankets into a pleasant oasis of warmth! But make no mistake, there are no lewd acts associated with this profession: A bedwarmer will leave the bed of his mistress and go (perhaps to his own) as soon as her Dark Highness wishes to go to sleep, and the risk that she gets so used to his scent that still lingers in her bedsheets certainly will not drive her to the point that she requires the active presence of the bedwarmer beside her in order to find restful sleep.
And if you order in the next 24 hours, your own personal bedwarmer comes equipped with a knife-proof vest, free of charge!
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▶ No.61552 >>61555
>>61546
Yea, but, that warmth and scent will only last so long.
How about a purely non-lewd-acts-associated mortal to act as the bed instead?
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▶ No.61554
>>61338
I can cook more or less decently. Might not be some fancy chef, but a good home-cooked meal is always good.
Hell, maybe there's enough space and supplies to homebrew alcohol too.
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▶ No.61555 >>61557
>>61552
Likely too intimate for Remi's taste. Plus, Sakuya seriously would kill you for that.
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▶ No.61557 >>61573
>>61555
What would her taste be like?
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▶ No.61558 >>61560
I should stop roleplaying. Have a cute Remi eating food instead.
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▶ No.61560 >>61561
>>61558
>Have a cute Remi
If only
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▶ No.61561
>>61560
Keep her in your heart and thoughts.
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▶ No.61563 >>61564 >>61574
There's a lack of flan in this thread.
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▶ No.61564
>>61563
Flan is nice, but Remi is the better sister.
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▶ No.61565
I want to get close to Remilia, with us both kneeling and knees interlocking, and brush her hair while slightly leaning over her and gently making affectionate yet light contact all throughout.
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▶ No.61572
>More than six hours have went by since there was a post in this thread
How awful.
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▶ No.61573 >>61577
>>61557
Truth to be told? I doubt Remi really has a type, or if she has one, she could never admit it. If you try to be sweet to her, she thinks you see her as a child and gets angry. If you try to be lewd to her, he childish side gets scared and she puts up her "High and Mighty" persona to hide it, that is, also gets angry.
At the very best, I could imagine she would fall for romantic courting in the most classical of fashions - poems, love songs under her bedroom window, etc. -, but even then, there'd probably be a barrier between her and her lover that would never go away.
Coming to think of it, I could imagine Remilia often feels a bit lonely. Her bond with Sakuya and Meiling is limited by their master-servant relationship, Flandre is (very cruelly put) more of a liability than anything else, and good luck getting Patchouli out of the Voile.
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▶ No.61574
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▶ No.61577 >>61578
>>61573
Just interspersed your sweetness and doting with the occasional bit of romanticism, enough to show that you do indeed love her in that way.
The biggest hurdle of course is your own mortality. Your options are to die human and let her suffer for ages, become a vampire/ghoul under Remi, or become a magician with Patche's guidance.
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▶ No.61578
>>61577
Well of course, you would want to be a magician at least because there are no benefits to being a human. No magic and such a limited lifespan is absolutely incomparable to its inverse. If not, you could opt to become a vampire for super speed+strength and then some but with a couple weaknesses.
So basically, being a human sucks, at least in relation to the prospects of what could be, and there are options which would rationally be chosen very quickly, over the relative limitations of humanity. It's kind of staggering to imagine why someone would want to choose a limited lifespan and no powers, especially considering the possible relations you would be permitted to establish with those abilities.
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▶ No.61596
>Vampire thread is halfway down the front page and not at the top where it belongs
How could this board have been so negligent? An absolute tragedy.
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▶ No.61598 >>61660 >>61692
If holy water hurts a vampire, and I drank only holy water for a few days, could I kill Remi by then jizzing in her enough?
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▶ No.61649
I want to give Flan and Remilia hot cocoa and have them sit on my lap as I read them stories based on ttrpg sessions.
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▶ No.61660 >>61667
>>61598
Perhaps, but it would be much more fun to see what would happen if Remi would unwittingly drip the blood of Suika.
Bonus points if she loses her RP when she gets drunk and instead falls bat on a fack Cockney or Brummy accent.
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▶ No.61667 >>61669
>>61660
>falls bat on a fack Cockney or Brummy accent
Supposedly Remilia Scarlet is based on French names (Emilia Scarlett). Flandre is based on the French term for Flanders (a region in Belgium), which around their time of birth would've been the home of the Flemish people and under control of both France and Hapsburg at the start of the 16th century.
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▶ No.61669 >>61673
>>61667
Flandre IIRC is not based on the French name of Flanders, but simply an Engrish corruption of the name, with the inspirational source being In Flander's Fields, The Poppies Grow (cf. her red dress).
The name of her theme also is based on an Agatha Christie novel And Then There Were None (also originally known as Ten Little Niggers).
Remi's entire shtick as the mistress of a Victorian manor with mysterious (i.e. Sakuya) and oriental/Asian servants (Meiling) also very nicely falls into British and American Horror fiction.
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▶ No.61673 >>61674 >>61676
>>61669
I thought it was based on the United Nations.
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▶ No.61674
>>61673
Well, her being batshit insane certainly cold explain some things. Like the fucking Saudis becoming UN abassador for women's rights. Flandre would probably give North Korea the top office for human rights, too.
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▶ No.61676 >>61677 >>61678
>>61673
>United Nations was her
>Scarlet Devil sisters control the UN
Fairies, I think it's time to take the Scarletpill:
>Youkai bow to the Scarlets
>In contact with Lunarians
>Possess psychic abilities
>Control Gensokyo with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & banks globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient vampire blood line
>Bankrolled the first cities on the Moon (the Lunar Capital a.k.a Scarletgrad was the first city)
>Own 99% of gourmet blood-transfusion facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Scarlet babies
>Both sisters said to have super-strength and super-speed, such abilities have only existed in oni and tengu
>Ancient Gensokyo scriptures tell of two devils who will ascend upon Earth and will bring an era of mist
>They have youkai all around Gensokyo to give them humans for food
>You likely have a Scarlet's teeth inside you right now
>The Scarlets are in regular communication with the shrine maidens Reimu Hakurei and Tenshi Hinanawi, forwarding the word of the Dragon God to the Hakurei Shrine.
>They learned fluent Japanese in under a week
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Scarlet
>The twins are about 5 centuries old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.
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▶ No.61677
>>61676
Fuck off with that blatant Anti-Vampirism. Everyone knows the only bloodsuckers in the UN are the reptilians - that is, the ever-scheming incarnation of Greed known as Kanako and her kappa lackeys.
They already sucked out the outside world, and now they're coming for Gensokyo, too.
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▶ No.61678 >>61681
>>61676
>Youkai bow to the Scarlets
Vampires are strong, but not that strong.
>In contact with Lunarians
Fought the Lunarians.
>Possess psychic abilities
Vampiric abilities.
>Control Gensokyo with an iron but fair fist
Only one of many powers in Gensokyo.
>Direct descendants of the ancient vampire blood line
Not actual descendents of Vlad.
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be Scarlet babies
Pure speculation.
>Both sisters said to have super-strength and super-speed, such abilities have only existed in oni and tengu
Common traits in Youma (high-class youkai).
>They have youkai all around Gensokyo to give them humans for food
They have a contractual agreement to receive outside humans in exchange for the human village's protection. It's not just tribute.
>You likely have a Scarlet's teeth inside you right now
If that were the case, I'd be feeding her lower mouth right now too.
>The Scarlets are in regular communication with the shrine maidens Reimu Hakurei and Tenshi Hinanawi, forwarding the word of the Dragon God to the Hakurei Shrine.
Reimu sure, since they're friends, but Tenshi? Tenshi is familiar with Iku, but I doubt their relationship is strong enough to influence Iku into influencing the Dragon God.
>They learned fluent Japanese in under a week
No proof, but where's the issue?
>The twins are about 5 centuries old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
Oh no, they're old.
>In reality, they are timeless beings existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know their ultimate plans yet. We hope they’re benevolent beings.
Are you feeling well?
>Own castles & banks globally
>Bankrolled the first cities on the Moon (the Lunar Capital a.k.a Scarletgrad was the first city)
>Own 99% of gourmet blood-transfusion facilities on Earth
>Ancient Gensokyo scriptures tell of two devils who will ascend upon Earth and will bring an era of mist
>Nation states entrust their gold reserves with the twins. There’s no gold in Ft. Knox, only Ft. Scarlet
Where are the proofs?
I think we know who's behind this post.
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▶ No.61681
>>61678
>Vampires are strong, but not that strong
t. revisionist
>Fought the Lunarians.
Past tense, and they had to have contacted them to fight them
>Only one of many powers in Gensokyo.
But the most prominent.
>Not actual descendents of Vlad.
Indeed, because "descendents" isn't a word with a definition in the English language.
>Pure speculation.
Yet accurate.
>Common traits in Youma (high-class youkai).
Literally who?
>They have a contractual agreement to receive outside humans in exchange for the human village's protection. It's not just tribute.
It remains that their end of the deal, which is far greater than their obligations, is upheld.
>If that were the case, I'd be feeding her lower mouth right now too.
They haven't given much indication they're into vore.
>Reimu sure, since they're friends, but Tenshi? Tenshi is familiar with Iku, but I doubt their relationship is strong enough to influence Iku into influencing the Dragon God.
Yea, well, you doubt because you've likely never read a book before, hence lacking the knowledge of the great historic ties between the two parties.
>No proof, but where's the issue?
Again, more revisionism. Prove it didn't take you two decades to learn English.
>Oh no, they're old.
Yet still young in spirit.
>Are you feeling well?
Yes, thank you for asking. How about yourself?
>Where are the proofs?
Worldwide. Just go out and look.
>I think we know who's behind this post.
Indeed we know who is behind this post: the Youkai Internet Defense Force.
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▶ No.61685 >>61687
I want to do construction work with the Scarlet Devil sisters. It would be fun to do engineering with them, even though I'm not in the engineering field, and also to have machines make structures. I really like the yellow and black aesthetic too.
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▶ No.61687 >>61688 >>61702
>>61685
>Dreaming of being a construction worker.
Why are you dumbasses so pathetic.
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▶ No.61688 >>61758
>>61687
Hey, building stuff is a fun and literally constructive job. It's like Legos but more complex, which is something you might not understand then.
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▶ No.61689 >>61693 >>61718 >>62366
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▶ No.61691 >>61701
Whichever one I see first, I wanna slap their butt.
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▶ No.61692
>>61598
She actually isn't weak to it, at all. At most it may be a sanitary issue. Also, neither is she weak to crosses.
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▶ No.61693
>>61689
She looks really short there, but yes, but only a little because I don't want to completely fill up my airways.
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▶ No.61698 >>61701 >>61718
Okay fairies, let's balance it out with some Flans now.
I really like this image.
Her wings: what are they? They're not bat wings. What are the stems made of? Wood? And what function do the crystals server?
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▶ No.61701 >>61718 >>61734
>>61691
Flan's butt makes for a soft cushion.
>>61698
The crystals are for decoration.
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▶ No.61702
>>61687
Don't knock it, I've read and seen weirder.
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▶ No.61718 >>61719
>>61689
I'd open my mantle and wrap it around her in order to protect her from the ravaging rays of the sun. How often do you otherwise get to be this close to a vampire without being bitten or torn to pieces.
>>61698
What if they are blackened bone? I.e., Flandre used to have bat wings like Remi but they got burned/crippled through some kind of accident or nasty encounter. Like >>61701 said, the crystals might just be for decoration; a mild solace for the fact that she no longer has nice, leathery wings.
In other news: If 2hu and Vampires: The Masquerade would somehow meet up, which clan(s) do you think the Flandre sisters would belong to?
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▶ No.61719 >>61720
>>61718
>which clan(s) do you think the Flandre sisters would belong to?
Do you need to ask? It's pretty obvious tbh.
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▶ No.61720 >>61721
>>61719
<Flandre sisters
Scarlet sisters, my bad. Flandre naturally is more or less predestined for the Malks, even if her insanity is exaggerated by fancanon.
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▶ No.61721
>>61720
You don't have to be Malk to be insane, and Remi you can pick between the other two.
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▶ No.61734 >>61738
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>61701
Flanbutt vs Remibutt, that is a difficult decision. One one hand cupping her butt Flan has a blond cutie factor. On the other she is basement level crazy.
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▶ No.61738
>>61734
Reminds me of Yukkuri. I don't really like Yukkuris, though; they remind me too much of fluffy ponies.
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▶ No.61739
I remember saving this image long ago before I was into Touhou, but looking back at it, I suddenly understand a lot more to the image than I had when I saved it.
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▶ No.61741
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
This song was one of the things that started getting me into 2hu. I remember frequently seeing this one character with these weird but cool wings, and I thought that it was interesting. I can't find the original video, but it's the same song.
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▶ No.61750 >>61754
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Now for the real question:
Septette for the Dead Princess OR Un Owen was Her?
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▶ No.61754
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>61750
Of the two... it would have to be vid related.
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▶ No.61755
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
This is my favorite rendition of the U.N. Owen Was Her? form. I really like the entrance riff especially.
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▶ No.61756 >>61757
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Apparently the title of U.N. Owen Was Her? is a reference to the novel And Then There Were None in which there are the characters Ulick Norman Owen and Una Nancy Owen (both U.N. Owen for short, which are a pun on the word "unknown".)
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▶ No.61757 >>61774
>>61756
>EastNewSound
Naisu. I can't decide which remix I like better for Remi or Flan.
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▶ No.61758
>>61688
Yep. Other benefits can include:
Get a workout and get paid for it at a pretty good rate if you have the right certs. Not be some supreme muhlady'ing pickle dick who thinks a weak ass nancyboy body is a sign of intelligence. Develop discipline and a can do attitude that gets bitches wet. Work with your hands and your brain, get a chance to use machines and vehicles that are fun as fuck.
Getting more on topic, crazy flan is not without a certain charm either. But still crazy.
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▶ No.61759 >>61760
I want Remilia to innocently order my waifu and me to make a baby so the SDM can have a baby to pamper and dote on.
I also want her to try and watch, thinking of herself as an adult and get super embarrassed by the lewd lovey dovey stuff.
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▶ No.61760 >>61762
>>61759
>It'll be her attempting to order you, with as much authority and maturity as she can muster while noticeably coming short, to procreate with her.
Plus the SDM already has Flandre.
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▶ No.61762
>>61760
A baby has higher charm points.
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▶ No.61774 >>61775
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
>>61757
This is a nice version of Remi's theme.
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▶ No.61775
>>61774
Downloaded, that one makes for a great driving at night song.
Hmm, for some reason now I want an InitialD meets Wacky Races game featuring 2hus.
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▶ No.61831 >>61836
I wonder how her skin and touch feel.
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▶ No.61835
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
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▶ No.61836 >>61868 >>61873
>>61831
Primarily cold, given that the Undead no longer generate body heat. But at least she doesn't suffer from rigor mortis like Yoshika.
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▶ No.61868 >>61870
>>61836
I'd warm her up then to be quite honest.
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▶ No.61870
>>61868
I'd warm her up in a different way.
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▶ No.61872
She may be cold, but she still warms me up.
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▶ No.61873 >>61875
>>61836
Speaking of Yoshika - she technically is a vampire as well, isn't she?
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▶ No.61875 >>61876
>>61873
Does Yoshika even have sentience, as in, genuine consciousness?
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▶ No.61876
>>61875
She is said to revert to her original mind (or what's left of it) and may recite poetry whenever there is no ofuda/paper charm attached to her, but by and large, the Yoshika we know basically is a piece of hardware (body) with Seiga's commands (software) installed upon it.
Creates some interesting questions
<Is the real Yoshika locked in her own body while Seiga controls it?
<If you write "Kill Seiga" upon her ofuda, will Yoshika act upon it?
<Does Yoshika's brain damage mean her soul also no longer exists properly?
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▶ No.61879 >>61880
If they're vampires, therefore undead, does that mean they died sometime before?
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▶ No.61880
>>61879
Their embrace usually involves the cessation of regular life signs.
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▶ No.61897
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
The Scarlet sisters are a cute. That is all.
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▶ No.62055
>tfw you will never be Flandre's teddy
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▶ No.62150 >>62160
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▶ No.62160
>>62150
There is only a few instances where a 2hu without a hat is still cute or sexy. That pic is not it.
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▶ No.62185
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▶ No.62198 >>62199
>tfw unironically want to wear a mob cap like the ones the Scarlets wear as part of my normal attire
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▶ No.62199
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▶ No.62227 >>62229
Leaving her constant temper tantrums aside, I really would like to see a side of Remilia which showcases the fact that she is several hundred years old.
Then again, this applies to almost all 2hus, doesn't it?
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▶ No.62229
>>62227
Well, Cirno is 60+ years old, but what does that mean? And really, it matters how you live those years and with what attitude.
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▶ No.62285 >>62293
I want Remilia to pet my head and tell me I did good.
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▶ No.62293 >>62294 >>62295
>>62285
I think everyone wants that.
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▶ No.62294 >>62300
>>62293
That's probably true.
I also want her blessing and support to marry Meiling.
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▶ No.62295 >>62300
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▶ No.62300 >>62308 >>62312
>>62294
>spoiler
I seriously doubt that Remi would allow anyone but herself to become the primary focus of Meiling's attention. And even if she gave you her blessing, what exactly would you do? Meiling spends half of her time guarding the gate of the SDM and the other half tending to its gardens.
>>62295
Liar.
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▶ No.62301 >>62303 >>62304
Why is Remi one of the only few 2hus who can pull off a hatless or no hair accessories look.
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▶ No.62303
>>62301
I suppose the ability to manipulate faith allows her to survive without a had. Kinda like the ability to mess with the space-time continuum allows Kaguya to exist without any hats at all.
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▶ No.62304
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▶ No.62308
>>62300
Married and working together in the Scarlet Devil Mansion us perfectly fine by me. Tending to the garden, basking each other's company on a quiet morning. Guarding the gate in the afternoon, sharing a bento together and either practicing martial arts or playing with the local fairies. A mixed opportunity for togetherness or getting strung along on Remi and/or Flan's wishes in the evening. At the end of the day we finally have the night to ourselves until we drift to sleep in each other's arms. Sounds great to me.
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▶ No.62312 >>62316
>>62300
I would prefer some ara 2hu for this.
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▶ No.62316 >>62325 >>62328
>>62312
Remi's old enough to count as an ara. Thought I can appreciate the sentiment.
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▶ No.62325
>>62316
>Remi's old enough to count as an ara.
I guess.
>Thought I can appreciate the sentiment.
Thanks.
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▶ No.62328
>>62316
She's old enough, but ara status is reserved for those with voluptuous, motherly bodies.
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▶ No.62366 >>62381
>>61689
I want to snort lines of vampy
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▶ No.62379 >>62380 >>62381
Does anyone else print out pictures of Remilia and leave them in random places? These ones I'm going to leave in books.
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▶ No.62380 >>62381 >>62382
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▶ No.62381 >>62382
>>62366
What if you put it into pancake batter?
>>62379
No cause that's autistic. And what's up with that background?
>>62380
Autism?
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▶ No.62382 >>62383 >>62384
>>62380
>>62381
>They don't proselytize the image of the Scarlet Devil
Ishiggydiggydig
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▶ No.62383
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▶ No.62384 >>62385
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▶ No.62385
>>62384
Baby Remi is cute!
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▶ No.62386 >>62387 >>62397
I think it would feel really good to pick up remi and hug her tightly
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▶ No.62387
>>62386
Yes it would. It would be even better to fall towards onto her and embrace her whole-bodily, rolling around while still in that lock.
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▶ No.62397 >>62405 >>62411
>>62386
She'd be cold as the grave, though. Undead and body heat don't mix.
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▶ No.62405 >>62408 >>62411
>>62397
she'd be at least room temperature
even if she was cold it wouldn't matter to me
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▶ No.62408 >>62664
>>62405
<Summer time
<Remilia sleeps in front of an air conditioner all day while you work
<Come home in the evening
<She wakes up to greet you with a hug and won't let go
<Cools you down with her chilled body after a long day with some relaxing cuddling
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▶ No.62411 >>62417 >>62475
>>62397
>>62405
Would fucking Remi feel like fucking a corpse?
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▶ No.62417
>>62411
It would feel great above all.
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▶ No.62475 >>62481 >>62493
>>62411
Firstly, Remi has the body of a child, so the anatomical details would ensure that sex would be awkward for you and probably excruciatingly painful to her.
Second, there is no telling as to how much of their original biological and/or reproductive functions vampires even retain. Staking her when she can't get wet anymore probably would not feel rewarding, but then again, the forbidden, sexual act is rather prominent in vampire myths.
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▶ No.62481
>>62475
I would say she has the body of an adolescent, so it would not be either awkward nor painful.
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▶ No.62493
>>62475
Vampy vags are stretchy
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▶ No.62528
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▶ No.62663
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▶ No.62664
>>62408
I want to take care of a remi
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▶ No.63053
>Vampire thread page 2
Shiggy
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▶ No.63058 >>63059
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▶ No.63059
>>63058
The scarlet sisters are messy eaters.
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▶ No.63062
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▶ No.63107
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▶ No.63128
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▶ No.63145
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▶ No.63146 >>63160 >>63168
>you will never be Flandor's shota boyfriend
>she'll never show you her big-sisterly/motherly side
;_;
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▶ No.63160
>>63146
Is Flan having a heavy flow day?
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▶ No.63168 >>63186
>>63146
Don't you want to be Flan's beloved older brother?
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▶ No.63186
>>63168
>"Don't you want ... Flan ... ?"
Yes.
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▶ No.63198 >>63444
For some reason, I imagine Mokou and Flandre would get along relatively well. Partially because Mokou doesn't "break", and partially because both of them are equally bad with people.
Mokou as a babysitter for Flandre when?
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▶ No.63443 >>63451
I want to go up to Remilia and spank her ass at 1000000 miles per hour.
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▶ No.63444 >>63445
>>63198
There is a doujin with that plot. I forgot the name though.
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▶ No.63445 >>63468
>>63444
(C83) [Koge Croquette (Masaki)] TOO RED!
Is this it?
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▶ No.63451 >>63454
>>63443
Remi's butt is for rubbing and massaging fine oils and lotions into. Please treat her with love and care.
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▶ No.63454 >>63456 >>63522
>>63451
Her wings are too low in that pic.
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▶ No.63456
>>63454
They're smaller and red too. Artistic liberty can add to or take away from an image.
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▶ No.63468
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▶ No.63522 >>63524
>>63454
They're succubus-style.
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▶ No.63523
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▶ No.63524 >>63573
>>63522
Bullshit. The only succubus in the SDM is Koakuma, and even she was given a good mind-raping by Patche before being turned into a library assistant.
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▶ No.63573
>>63524
I said succubus-style.
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▶ No.63666 >>63671 >>63730
Claiming these devilish digits for the Scarlet Devil herself succubus-style.
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▶ No.63671
>>63666
I want to lick her back/wings.
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▶ No.63675
I really like this image of Remilia. Lower-saturation images like these, yet ones which still have a nuance and flow to them, just have a certain aesthetic to them.
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▶ No.63730
>>63666
Backless black dresses are the best bar none, hail Natas!
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▶ No.63813 >>63814
I WANT TO SLAP REMILIA'S ASS WITH THE FORCE OF A SMALL NUCLEAR BOMB
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▶ No.63814 >>63815
>>63813
REMI IS NOT FOR SPANKING
TREAT HER BUTT WITH CARE
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▶ No.63815 >>63816
>>63814
THIS
IS
CAAAAAAAAARE
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▶ No.63816 >>63817
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▶ No.63817 >>63818
>>63816
Alright, Remi. Shall we move on to kisses next then?
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▶ No.63818
>>63817
Kisses make everything better.
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▶ No.63819 >>63820
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▶ No.63820
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▶ No.63821
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▶ No.63822 >>63823
>tfw have never kissed Remilia
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▶ No.63823 >>63824
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▶ No.63824
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▶ No.63825 >>63826
>tfw only one qt. /ss/ pic featuring (a female) Remilia, and even that is more humorous than lewd
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▶ No.63826
>>63825
>Sakuya
>Damn how come I never get invited to these
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▶ No.63841
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▶ No.63848 >>63849 >>63851
Oppai Remi
If you are really quiet, you can hear Sakuya cry all the way over from Gensokyo
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▶ No.63849
>>63848
That's just her hat. She's still DFC behind that puffy hat.
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▶ No.63850
flan has bigger breasts and remi is super jealous
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▶ No.63851
>>63848
Actual oppai Remi.
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▶ No.63879 >>63880 >>63882 >>63883
It's been two months since you brought the Scarlet sisters into your home.
Remilia is sitting in your favorite chair reading a book while Flandre is sitting on the floor staring intently at a teddie bear, repeatedly clenching her fist and frowning. You peek through heavy black curtains to see the faint glow of an imminent sunrise.
You tell Remilia that you have a chore that needs to be done and she tenses for the briefest of moments and instructs Flandre to wash up for bed. With a gentle hand on her back, you lead Remilia to your bedroom.
Remilia has been alive for a very long time and understands perfectly well that nothing is for free.
If she has to do this sort of chore every now and then to provide a safe home for her sister, then she will do so with no regrets.
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▶ No.63880
>>63879
I get that cleaning the bedroom is a real pain, but it's nothing to get overly dramatic about.
I won't do lewd things without love and consent first.
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▶ No.63882 >>63885 >>63887 >>63888
>>63879
No, Remilia is for pure love
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▶ No.63883
>>63879
You have to eat ALL the eggs.
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▶ No.63885
>>63882
That's right. Gotta wait for a confession, have some romantic dates, and then get married, and consummate the marriage with tender lovemaking on our wedding night. Until then, they're gonna get the love and affection they deserve as daughterus.
They're gonna get tucked into bed, read a bed time story, and get a good night/day kiss.
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▶ No.63887
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▶ No.63888 >>63890
>>63882
>No, Remilia is for pure love of her massive titties
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▶ No.63890 >>63892
>>63888
Pure love for her and her breasts, regardless of size. I bet she could alter the size at will (or with Patchy's help) for your pleasure.
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▶ No.63892 >>63893
>>63890
I want to bully a flat remi.
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▶ No.63893
>>63892
Flat is justice, and Remi is for love not bully.
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▶ No.63895
I want to bully remi's fat tits
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▶ No.63896
I want to suck on Remi's itty bitty bat tits
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▶ No.64019
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▶ No.64061 >>64066
Can vampires take baths? Wouldn't the vampy be stinky?
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▶ No.64066 >>64088
>>64061
Vampires only have trouble with running water. She probably wouldn't shower, but she could bathe just fine.
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▶ No.64088 >>64099
>>64066
With her being unable to generate body heat, a nice, hot bath probably is the closest thing to heaven she can still hope to get.
Of course, things would be better still if there also was a moderately handsome male in the bathtub to caress her as she relaxes
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▶ No.64099 >>64105
>>64088
Wouldn't that be nice?
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▶ No.64100
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▶ No.64101
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▶ No.64105
>>64099
"Nice" does not even remotely begin to describe it.
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▶ No.64107
I really like this image, although I prefer bat wings without the pointy claws as seen here. The shriveled look also mismatches with the rest of the image.
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▶ No.64202 >>64203 >>64221
Since the Scarlets are vampires, hence undead, does that mean they lack consciousness and are really just animated corpses? This definition seems to indicate that they are only bodies propelled by a supernatural force, rather than them being living individuals.
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▶ No.64203 >>64221
>>64202
Some undeads are just meat or bone puppets while others still hold a soul. That's the difference between a skeleton and a lich.
Usually vampires are depicted as belonging to the later category. They classify as undead since they cannot produce lifeforce in mundane ways but must drain it from living humans in order to maintain their existence.
It's implied or outright stated failing to do so induce some form of degeneration , ranging from forced hibernation, loss of self-control to putrefaction or self-combustion.
The Scarlets are supposedly fed by other youkais/Yukari but touhou canon being what it is maybe they live just fine off human fear and intakes of red tea.
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▶ No.64221 >>64223
>>64202
I would see that as a plausible explanation for Yoshika (Yoshika with ofuda = artificial personality created and nurtured by Seiga | Yoshika without ofuda = the last flickering remnants of the actual, living Yoshika), but I think Remi, Flandre, as well as most other Undead Touhous possess free will and sentience.
A real interesting question would be what the Prismriver sisters would classify as - they're not really ghosts but poltergeists, i.e., manifestations of how Layla Prismriver remembered her sisters after she was left alone in the old mansion.
>>64203
>The Scarlets are supposedly fed by other youkais/Yukari but touhou canon being what it is maybe they live just fine off human fear and intakes of red tea.
This, they have some kind of 'infernal contract'. Might be because Remilia went on a bit of a rampage when she first entered Gensokyo, but also because even though she never fully drains her victims, they (supposedly) turn into zombie-like creatures that burn in sunlight just as she does.
My personal headcanon in that matter is that Yukari ships in brb gensokyo victims from the outside world for her to suck dry. It's not like Japan doesn't have enough of them.
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▶ No.64223 >>64224
>>64221
>Kill self and get sucked dry by Remilia
brb Gensokyo
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▶ No.64224 >>64225 >>64226
>>64223
More like
>attempt to kill self
>get gap'd by Yukari in the last possible moment before the noose hits your necks or your body the ground
>get sent to the SDM where Remi drinks a small amount of your blood
>get kicked out of the SDM, turn into a pseudo-zombie, die an agonizing flesh as the suns turns you into a living torch
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▶ No.64225
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▶ No.64226
>>64224
You forgot about possibility to be given to Flandre instead.
Then you just get gored.
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▶ No.64227
I wanna fuck this stupid cunt in the ass until she bleeds tbh.
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▶ No.64228 >>64229 >>64235
I want to hold/hug Remilia.
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▶ No.64229 >>64230 >>64233
>>64228
I wanna make her cry like a bitch.
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▶ No.64230
>>64229
That's rude though. I'm also sure she would feel quite bad about that as well.
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▶ No.64233
>>64229
I want to snuggle her and love her.
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▶ No.64235 >>64238 >>64240 >>64242 >>64244 >>65568
>>64228
I still need to write that one story where she abuses a qt. human boy as a living hot-water bag/hottie.
I am conflicted as to wether I should make that one cute or lewd
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▶ No.64238
>>64235
>that spoiler
When in doubt, do both.
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▶ No.64240
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▶ No.64242
>>64235
Either/both are fine as long as it's a happy story.
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▶ No.64244
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▶ No.64246 >>64247
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▶ No.64247 >>64248 >>64251
>>64246
What will Remi do to Sakuya? I bet she's planning something, smiling like that.
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▶ No.64248 >>64249
>>64247
Present her with a ring? Seriously, I'm more baffled by the fact that Remi is kneeling in the face of Sakuya rather than it being the other way round.
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▶ No.64249
>>64248
I don't think it's strange. Maybe she's showing her gratitude towards Sakuya for taking care of her.
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▶ No.64251
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▶ No.64276 >>64277 >>64279
On a different note - how do you think Flandre got her fancy wings? You would expect she'd have leathery bat wings like Remilia?
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▶ No.64277
>>64276
An old injury that her vampiric regeneration can't fix? A deformation in her vampirism covered up by decorations/magic augmenting crystals? A seal placed on her? A pretty ornament/accessory that she happened to like or has sentimental attachment to and wears it all the time? Anything goes.
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▶ No.64279
>>64276
I could image she tore out her own original ones after finding out she had become a vampire and was not very happy it at first (unlike Remilia, who always was a bratty attentionwhore and loved the idea of being the Queen of the Night).
Patchouli made her new ones, eventually - one crystal for every day of the week, and one extra for Flandre.
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▶ No.65105
>Time since the last post in this thread approaches a month
Nope
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▶ No.65106 >>65107
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▶ No.65107 >>65108
>>65106
Gay.
It already has its own thread.
>>59073
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▶ No.65108 >>65109 >>65111
>>65107
That's a genderswap/trap thread. I posted futa.
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▶ No.65109
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▶ No.65111 >>65112
>>65108
<Uh, akschually, she has a dick, so uh, it's technically not a trap!
You are worse than youkai.
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▶ No.65112 >>65113 >>65115
>>65111
<I don't know the difference between a biological female with a real pussy and womb capable of being impregnated as normal with a fully functional penis in addition and a feminine male; the presence of a penis is all that matters
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▶ No.65113 >>65119
>>65112
>Trying to fagsplain your way out of this
It's cute that you try
Not really
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▶ No.65115 >>65119
>>65112
Humans aren't able to be true herms.
>>>/cuteboys/
>>>/d/
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▶ No.65119 >>65120
>>65113
<Everything I don't like is gay
>>65115
Good thing Remi isn't human.
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▶ No.65120
>>65119
>Literally posts a female with a penis and gets upset when other people call it out on its queerness
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▶ No.65121 >>65131
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▶ No.65131
>>65121
Futa is shit and you're a fucking nigger. Kill yourself for liking garbage.
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▶ No.65154 >>65156 >>65157 >>65158
<Rub my feet, fairy. Be gentle; they're delicate. Don't worry, I took the liberty to wash up before hand. Or would you have liked to wash them too? Perhaps next time, if you want.
How do you respond?
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▶ No.65156
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▶ No.65157
>>65154
>Seconds later
<Oh jeez, fairy. I didn't expect you to be so into it. Please continue.
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▶ No.65158 >>65163
>>65154
Who the fuck are you and why are you interrupting my angry time? Go fuck yourself.
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▶ No.65163
>>65158
>Who the fuck are you and why are you interrupting my angry time?
I am nameless fairy and I interrupt you to make you angry.
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▶ No.65241
A long-haired Remilia is fine, too.
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▶ No.65242 >>65243
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▶ No.65243 >>65244
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▶ No.65244 >>65245
>>65243
nice blonde Remilia
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▶ No.65245 >>65246
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▶ No.65246
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▶ No.65248
Underground Remilia and Flandre.
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▶ No.65251
Asthmatic librarian Remilia
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▶ No.65256
>Flandre (lavender)
>Scarlet
>Remilia has lavender hair
>Flandre wears a scarlet blouse and they both wear plenty of scarlet
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▶ No.65258
Superior master race Remilia.
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▶ No.65259
It's irresponsible to lewd mentally ill girl like Flandre
Remilia is fair game though
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▶ No.65290
Suppose:
1. Remilia wants to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin once more without immediately catching fire.
2. Remilia hires Sanae to perform a miracle on her.
3. Sanae clearly states that she has no idea whether or not this is going to work
Would Remilia dare to set a foot outside during a warm, sunny day? Would she be incinerated in an instant? And if it does, would it not be cruel to give her that fleeting sensation only for it to go away again once the miracle runs out of power?
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▶ No.65323
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▶ No.65437 >>65439
I want to wear a mob cap like the Scarlets (and Patchouli) do, although apparently it's a hat for females. Are there any hats like this but for males?
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▶ No.65439 >>65440
>>65437
Not that I know of, but I'll admit I'm not knowledgeable about hats.
Just make sure you look good in girl clothes; if you do I'm sure you'll be fine.
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▶ No.65440 >>65441 >>65442
>>65439
I'm male, though, so I can't wear female clothes. The closest thing to an aesthetic hat for males is a peaked cap, but the general range doesn't seem to be as broad as that for females. The male 2hus that look nice that I've found also don't wear hats.
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▶ No.65441
>>65440
Meant to post pic related instead of the first one
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▶ No.65442 >>65443
>>65440
>I'm male, though, so I can't wear female clothes.
>The male 2hus that look nice that I've found also don't wear hats.
Don't let your dress be dreams. When wearing a skirt, you're a girl.
But really it's harder to find a good hat for a guy. You could try a newsboy cap/flatcap like ZUN's. I've been wearing a newsboy cap with Meiling's gold star attached to it. In the winter, I put the star on a ushanka and wear that instead.
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▶ No.65443
>>65442
Eh, while flat caps and ushankas have their appeal they don't seem nearly quite as spectacular as mob caps. I've always thought veiled hats to be nice, though, so I might do something like in the pic.
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▶ No.65568 >>65569 >>65571 >>65572 >>65765 >>67044
>>64235
I know it has been a while, and this is only the first part of the story before things get juicy, but have Remilia and a hapless mortal.
http://docdro.id/yu4kJUy
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▶ No.65569 >>65609
>>65568
That artwork is well done except she looks like an albino negro with those proportions
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▶ No.65571
>>65568
It's going to be good.
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▶ No.65572
>>65568
This is going to be good.
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▶ No.65609
>>65569
yeah, real briton beaty
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▶ No.65669 >>65671
HookTube embed. Click on thumbnail to play.
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▶ No.65671 >>65673
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▶ No.65673 >>65674
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▶ No.65674 >>65675
>>65673
Altruistic Remilia
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▶ No.65675 >>65676
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▶ No.65676 >>65677
>>65675
Aviaristic Remilia
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▶ No.65677
>>65676
Phantomistic Remilia
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▶ No.65678 >>65766
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▶ No.65680
any apocalyptic Remilias?
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▶ No.65682 >>65684
I wanna rape the headless corpse of the brat!
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▶ No.65684
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▶ No.65765 >>65944
>>65568
Vampire text is coming soon, I promise. 85% finished, shit just invariably gets in the way whenever I get into the flow for writing.
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▶ No.65766
>>65678
Nevermind the eyes, those hands unsettle me greatly.
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▶ No.65784
Graphics Interchange Formatastic Remilia.
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▶ No.65875
A long-haired Remilia is fine, too.
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▶ No.65891
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▶ No.65892
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▶ No.65936 >>65942
Would you lick Remilia's feet?
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▶ No.65942
>>65936
nah she's a vampire man you gotta watch out. If you show them weakness it's over
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▶ No.65944
>>65765
Take your time. You can't rush perfection.
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▶ No.66003
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▶ No.66166 >>66167
I just opened up my music player wanting to hear a song that had Remilia's voice in it, but thinking I'd find songs that just had a voice actor singing as her I opened it up anyways thinking I had an actual sample of her voice for a moment.
And then I realized, tragically, that I had no such thing.
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▶ No.66167 >>66175
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>66166
which song was it?
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▶ No.66175
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>66167
I have several, however I usually think of this one.
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▶ No.66473 >>66474 >>66476 >>66477 >>67058
I had a vague dream today where Flandre was misbehaving so I wrestled the shit out of her.
Strangely feel attracted to her now
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▶ No.66474
>>66473
>Strangely feel attracted to her now
If a vampire that has enough strength to physically tear you to pieces allows you to wrestle the shit out of her, that feeling probably is mutual.
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▶ No.66476
>>66473
Sometimes the love of a future waifu is seeded by a simple pleasant dream. I'll be rooting for you, fairy!
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▶ No.66477
>>66473
Good for you.
I think you now have waifu.
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▶ No.66809
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▶ No.67044
>>65568
Remi text coming tomorrow. Fucking text bloat and procastrination, I swear.
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▶ No.67055 >>67057 >>67065
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▶ No.67057 >>67059
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>67055
You wrote this, fairy?
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▶ No.67058
>>66473
I've had two dreams of TouHou recently. Why does Jap media seep into the mind more than other stuff?
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▶ No.67059
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▶ No.67065 >>67066
>>67055
This made me sad damn. She deserves a more happy end.
And you are good at writing. Just to point that out.
A sequel maybe?
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▶ No.67066 >>67073
>>67065
>A sequel maybe
Not in the forseeable future. Besides, I don't really see a happy end for this, and I can assure you I spent quite some kind thinking about how I could pull off one. All the scenarios I can think of end with
a) Hiro dying from old age by virtue of being human
b) Hiro becoming a vampire/magician/whatever while in Gensokyo, only to be Fortune Teller'd by Reimu
c) Hiro becoming a vampire in the outside world (Dracula or Nosferatu still have to be around somewhere) and going to Gensokyo, leaving behind a mourning family who think their son is dead.
An earlier draft had Remilia thinking about how feeling alive not only came with pleasure, but also with pain. I think it neatly describes this scenario.
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▶ No.67070 >>67071 >>67086 >>67090
Moon's up tonight boys, or was it yesternight? Ah, the red reminds me of Dresden, it does.
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▶ No.67071
>>67070
Probably wasn't a good idea jerking off, oh well.
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▶ No.67073
>>67066
The third one might be not that bad, depending on how it is pulled off. But man your choice. If you get the vibe to write it, then go for it.
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▶ No.67086
>>67070
I saw this post and thought that it would be just another full moon, but according to this image I would have missed it anyways because of where I live (the darkest area). Still, would have been nice to see how it was regardless, and I even woke up in the middle of the night too! But for some reason I just stayed in bed until I fell back asleep.
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▶ No.67087
I wanna rape a vamp slave!
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▶ No.67090 >>67093 >>67094
>>67070
You worthless antifa piece of shit will get the bullet on the day of the rope prepare yourself scum
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▶ No.67093 >>67094 >>67119
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▶ No.67094
>>67090
Was this directed towards someone else? Or did you think I meant "red" as in "socialist"? Was it Dresden? I used to get pissy at that /int/ meme before I realized that the Brits get blamed for a lot of shit by practically everyone, and thus are doing it because they know it pisses them of. Obviously, Dresden, and the war as a whole, is nasty, terrible business. But IIRC, Remilia was, or is at least thought to be, European, and I pretended she was speaking in an English accent, and because the Lunar Eclipse was to (partly) shine over that area of the world, and because the magical, I presume effects of either the full moon where I live or the red moon from afar, I felt comfy, and decided to make a funpost.
>>67093
Was it really permanent? Well, at least it was just a joke ban. I've been permab& elsewhere as a result of a weak king and his slimy servants. But such is life in the current year of 8chan.
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▶ No.67097 >>67115
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▶ No.67115
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▶ No.67119 >>67150
>>67093
the annihilation of jews is hard work
he called me a kike in the appeal so I had to unban him to prove him wrong
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▶ No.67120
now let us all stop shitting up this thread and post more vampires
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▶ No.67136
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▶ No.67137 >>67141 >>67144
So how did Flandre get her crystal wings anyway? My personal headcanon is that she tore out her original ones (bat-like wings like those of Remi) because she was not quite as delighted as her older sister was about being turned into a vampire - an act which contributed to her being locked in the basement. Patchouli eventually made her current eight-crystal model for her: One crystal for every week day, and one "special" one just for Flandre.
Rest assured, Touhou vampires canonially are a type of youkai much like oni (with a shared weakness towards beans), so it's doubtful that Remilia and Flandre ever were human in the first place.
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▶ No.67141 >>67142 >>67273
>>67137
flan got her wings first and in a fit of rage, remi shredded them and threw flan into the lake of the dead
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▶ No.67142 >>67151
>>67141
REMILIA REFUSED THE SACRIFICE
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▶ No.67144 >>67149
>>67137
>My personal headcanon
>headcanon
>>>/tumblr/
if i were to write a (inevitably shitty) 2hu fiction, Flandor's wings are the result of experimentation by Flan and Remi's vampire "father" (who them his blood to transform them. remi and flan are not genetically sisters, but they are now related "by vampire blood") to create a living weapon. This resulted in her destructive powers and her skeleton becoming black "living" metal, which in turn warped the appearance of her wings.
Furthermore, she can attach her wand, which is made from the same material, to her lower spine to become a tail.
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▶ No.67149
>>67144
Oh, is "headcanon" in the no-no bin along with "normie"?
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▶ No.67150 >>67160
>>67119
...When did you become a vol?
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▶ No.67151
>>67142
Did the creator of that image delete it? The pixiv ID is gone.
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▶ No.67158 >>67160
>tfw you will never see Remi in a bikini because the sun would immediately incinerate her.
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▶ No.67160 >>67169 >>67201
>>67150
He's been a vol for around 3 years like me. He's just not very active or vocal about it.
>>67158
She can always wear it indoors, just for you.
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▶ No.67169
>>67160
Is he a vol on other boards?
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▶ No.67170 >>67171 >>67176
>>56576 (OP)
If the Scarlet Devil had a kingdom and an army in the mid-1800s to fit her dress and the bloomers, what would it look like?
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▶ No.67171 >>67235
>>67170
Would Flandre be a general?
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▶ No.67176 >>67184
>>67170
>In the mid-1800s
It would probably be inspired by the Napoleonic wars - meaning she would infantry consisting of Fusiliers (skirmishers), Musketeers (stock infantry), and Grenadiers (Shock troopers - not necessarily armed with grenades, ironically), alongside with assorted cannons for artillery and lancers, cuirassiers, and dragoons for cavalry.
Then again, a vampire probably would do her very best not to make any high waves that might attract the attention of any neighbors that would seek to end the blood-sucking monster. Chances are she ruled over some small duchy somewhere in Eastern Europe (given that Western Europe already was integrated into larger nation-states), and paid tribute to some local overlord in exchange to being left alone. Her subjects, in turn, would pay tribute in turn by regularly sending cute boys to the Scarlet Devil mansion so Remilia can have dinner.
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▶ No.67184 >>67186
>>67176
Her overbite looks ridiculous in that pic
Also why eastern Europe? It was always implied they were from some French-speaking part of western Europe, and I figured it to be Wallonia.
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▶ No.67186 >>67187
>>67184
>Also why eastern Europe?
<(given that Western Europe already was integrated into larger nation-states)
And unless Remilia starts shitting French fries, you can't convince me that she's from Belgium, either.
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▶ No.67187 >>67200
>>67186
It's doubtable that she ruled over any duchy in eastern Europe, because in her time there were only three main powers in that part of the world. If anything, all the duchies and such were in central Europe, but even then it's improbably she actually ruled over any territory. Besides, "Emilia", from which "Remilia" comes from, is a name popular in the western part of Europe, in particular the French-speaking areas. Flandre is the French name for Flanders, the northern part of Belgium, and even given the "Flander's Fields" origin the "Flander's" part of it refers to Flanders the region, so it's the same either way. Scarlet furthermore, is derived from the Old French word escarlate, and this combined with the French-looking style of mansion they have indicates that they are of the region; France or the French part of Belgium.
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▶ No.67200 >>67216
>>67187
Scarlet is generally an English name, not French. Remember that after the Norman conquest, English changed dramatically. Regardless, the word "scarlet", while archaic, can mean "wicked/evil/etc." besides a shade of red. "Remilia" is likely derived from "Emilia", which is found throughout Europe as a result of its Romantic origin. Despite that, it's a common French and English name. Considering the style of architecture, it's hard to say, but I would say it was either English or French, or even Belgian. Your example of architecture was too modern.
Are you French anon? I dislike the French post-Revolution, if that makes sense.
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▶ No.67201
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▶ No.67216 >>67234
>>67200
As said earlier in this thread (there was a discussion about this previously) Scarlet likely comes from Scarlett, which is derived from Norman French. The example of architecture may have been modern, also, but its style is still found in older instances, this particular one not being quite as complex as English architecture such as the Palace of Westminster.
Not French, as far as I know, and mixed feelings about France post-revolution myself.
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▶ No.67234
>>67216
No, that's exactly where it comes from, which is why I brought it up. But I've never seen a French person with the French-equivalent as a surname, only English. But she's about five-hundred years old, not a thousand. "Emilia Scarlet" sounds like an English female.
And the example was just too modern. It was akin to an indie dev "trying" i.e. doing it because it's easy and hip to make a pixel-style game. It didn't feel right at all, and besides a few details it has nothing in common with old architecture. That example is a lot better.
I don't think she's from either of the two lands until ZUN clarifies. As far as we know, she's either French, or English. Personally, I think and also like to think; if I thought she was French, I'd admit it even if I didn't like it she's English, because, besides the name, tea is associated with the English moreso than the French (where coffee is associated), and because of Meiling (the relation between Great Britain and the Qing Dynasty). It is hard to judge by architecture because there is not enough information.
I'm not English, but a burger. I have always liked Germany and England, for reasons I am unaware of. I will say I dislike the Union Jack, because I hate the blue-white-red color scheme, with few exceptions depending on other aspects of the flag in question and/or shade of red or blue. I really dislike Old Glory. Aesthetic >>>>> symbolism, every time.
I also hate their names. They're ridiculous, especially America's.
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▶ No.67235 >>67236
>>67171
That'd be cool. She'd be like Legate Lanius in the sense that she'd fight with the soldiers and completely wreck enemies.
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▶ No.67236
>>67235
*so, an officer of some sort
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▶ No.67273
>>67141
The eternal anglo strikes again.
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▶ No.67439 >>67449
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▶ No.67449 >>67450 >>67455 >>67466 >>67469
>>67439
Adolescent bodies are GOAT, because they're sexy and cute, and are old enough to not need the help of an adult 24/7. Prepubescents are moe in a different, non-lewd way to be honest, party because I don't know how clean they are, but mostly because their bodies aren't developed enough. Flat is okay of course, as long as they've got hips. True loli is adolescent, to be honest, even if "lolita complex" is basically synonymous with "pedophilia". Older girls are fine too, but not too old e.g. 30+; 20s can look fine if they're still virgins (~early 30s if they have good genes); why does virginity seem to retain youthful appearance? is it simply because they're more fertile?. All oppai, save for ridiculous-sized tits that go into fetish territory, are good and delicious. I need to stop lusting after women. My time would be much better spent not fapping my balls empty. Women don't provide much besides sex and someone to spend time with, but I don't have any friends either, or at least friends I see often and who actually want to speak to me, instead of me having to start conversations with them all the time ;_;
Do they canonically wear bikinis? I would have thought Victorian-style bathing suits would be more appropriate. Way cuter, too.
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▶ No.67450 >>67451
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▶ No.67451 >>67452
>>67450
The post or image?
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▶ No.67452 >>67453
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▶ No.67453 >>67455
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▶ No.67455 >>67463
>>67453
>>67449
I want cuckchan to leave.
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▶ No.67463 >>67465
>>67455
How exactly is poopoo peepee halfchan?
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▶ No.67465
>>67463
I mean, sure, Pepe and to a lesser extent Wojak are kill, and poopoo peepee did come from halfchan, but back in 2014, as a response to Pepe becoming kikebook frog.
Original deleted because unnecessary spoiler.
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▶ No.67466 >>67471
>>67449
>(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)
Huh, that's funny, it doesn't seem to be breaking the rules....
Looks like /2hu/ is fucked. How long until I am sniped yet again?
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▶ No.67469
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▶ No.67471 >>67530 >>67532
>>67466
>Post some retarded gay 3d pedo-sounding shit
>Proceed to act like you're not from here
>Doesn't even post 2hus
>Posts fag memes and meme guro instead
>0-second pseudo joke ban telling you to post better ( https://8ch.net/log.php?page=1&board=2hu )
<WHY DO THEY PERSECUTE ME SO?
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▶ No.67530 >>67531
>>67471
I didn't even know I was banned, I merely saw the text.
>Post some retarded gay 3d pedo-sounding shit
But it was clearly 2d.
>Proceed to act like you're not from here
It's fun :^)
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▶ No.67531
>>67530
Nevertheless I didn't break any rules.
A nation was founded based on similar tyrannical behavior. A great nation. America.
See I posted a 2hu u happi nao Sonny Jim?
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▶ No.67532 >>67540
>>67471
>getting butthurt over homosexual elements of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation and "le 2edgy4me XD" gore elements of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation
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▶ No.67540 >>67570
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▶ No.67565 >>67566 >>67570
The Remi were a Belgic people of north-eastern Gaul (Gallia Belgica). The Romans regarded them as a civitas, a major and influential polity of Gaul,[1] The Remi occupied the northern Champagne plain, on the southern fringes of the Forest of Ardennes, between the rivers Mosa (Meuse) and Matrona (Marne), and along the river valleys of the Aisne and its tributaries the Aire and the Vesle. The Remi were known to be a rather overweight tribe because of their vast supply of food available on the Champagne Plain. In fact, being obese was an honor in the Remi tribe.
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▶ No.67566 >>67570
>>67565
Irrelevant, but interesting.
>The Romans
That's long before our 500 year old vampire was born.
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▶ No.67570 >>67577
>>67540
I like this image.
>>67565
>>67566
I want a Finnish 2hu
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▶ No.67577 >>67578 >>67580 >>67581
>>67570
>the albigensian Carthars were called to crusades
>the crusades are at fault for the thirty years war
Holy Shit commies are fucking retarded if they think anyone outside of America will believe this shit, deus vult brethren
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▶ No.67578
>>67577
Deus vult!
<Only 2hu-related templar pic I can find is an Ass Creed parody with Sakuya attacking Templars
Shit.
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▶ No.67580 >>67583
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>67577
I'm glad you noticed the filename (because plenty of retards didn't until I pointed it out to them) but I hope you realize the entire image is satire (although there are people who believe the Crusades were done out of a desire to expand/imperialism and that all Crusaders were bloody thirsty animals etc.). The "it's ALWAYS the Mongols" is a John Green meme based on his garbage Crash Course History videos. Vid related BTFOs his Crusades video.
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▶ No.67581
>>67577
*also, you must not be counting the cities then. I'm a burger, and I met a German once. I assume he's a Berliner, because he was a gigantic faggot, without being homosexual. I really wanted to kick his ass.
I still don't know how anyone thinks all of history is the history of class struggle. That's just silly and base.
Sage for off-topic.
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▶ No.67583 >>67608 >>67609
>>67580
>Unironically watching Crash Course
You forgot your ⑨ flag
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▶ No.67608
>>67583
Are you joking? If so, it's rather annoying.
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▶ No.67609
>>67583
See, one may have seen it because their teacher or professor showed it to his class, or perhaps he was bored one day and decided to see what the fuss was about. Others hear about Green on forums. Green is a /lit/ meme, you know.
If you think that video is a Crash Course video, you're the one who should be wearing the ⑨ flag.
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▶ No.67610
I really like this image. It has a certain ineffable dark aesthetic to it, and it also is extraordinary yet isn't like an ordinary composition -- it's all thrown apart, all the various aspects to it, the tiles, the saturation, the roses, the shakiness, etc. -- it's a mess, yet it is an ordered kind of chaos, and doesn't carry with it what may be normally associated with messes the negative connotations.
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▶ No.67637 >>67641 >>67668
>Vampire thread is getting close to the bump limit
What a fun thread it's been.
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▶ No.67641 >>67642
>>67637
They look too short, the edges of Sakuya's outfit look like glass, and Flandre is outside her mansion.
I thought these pictures were neat but these things were just bothering me.
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▶ No.67642 >>67654
>>67641
>They look too short
I think they're meant to be younger in the first one.
>Flandre is outside her mansion.
This shit happens all the time in fanart.
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▶ No.67654 >>67671
>>67642
>I think they're meant to be younger in the first one.
Do vampires even age? Or, more importantly, were Touhou vampires ever human in the first place? I thought they were classified as a kind of cousins to the Oni, so much like Suika, Remi and Flandre would have had their loli bodies since and for forever.
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▶ No.67668 >>67671 >>67679
>>67637
I hope the next thread has writefags.
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▶ No.67669 >>67671
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▶ No.67671
>>67654
ZUN has given is a few key differences between his vampires and the usual ones. I'd think that anything that hasn't been mentioned would behave as normal.
>>67668
I might end up writing a couple more one-post stories (like the tenderly loving your Remi one).
>>67669
Cute!
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▶ No.67679
>>67668
Don't worry, I'm writing a sequel for Remilia and her Bedwarmer eventually.
Just before the heat death of the universe or so
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▶ No.67680 >>67681 >>67685 >>67688
A smile to run away from really, really fast.
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▶ No.67681 >>67682
>>67680
>her face when she finds a little boys to take home
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▶ No.67682
>>67681
<her face when she finds little toys to take home
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▶ No.67685
>>67680
Flan experiencing the pleasure of being cummed inside.
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▶ No.67688
>>67680
Maybe it's my toxoplasmosis speaking, but I want to run toward it.
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▶ No.70504
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