/2hu/ - Touhou★

>>52196 (OP)

I can't feel anything anymore and I want to die.

>>52198

Sounds like depression to me fairy, tell me, what is your daily scheduled like? Just a general overview would help. Do you exercise enough? Eat right? Tell me.

Oh boy.

I dislike living but I also don't really want to die.

It's something like living has gotten boring.

I get headaches if I'm not doing something interesting or am not focusing on something.

I can't listen to music passively anymore and so just random pop songs on the radio annoy me easily. The only reason I'm getting an education is so that I can go to Japan to work as an English teachers aide in hopes that going to the moon will provide me with some form of will to live.

I've got a countdown for about 9 years from now when I'll make the decision to off myself or not.

Also I want Miko to sit on my face.

>>52199

>Fighting the iconography of evil.

I know that feel bro.

>>52201

You seem to lack more short term goals, have you considered helping others like in a charity for homeless people/animal shelters? What specific talents/skills are you training right now? (i.e. drawing, writing e.t.c.) I'm assuming you are learning Jap, ever consider translating shit on the internet? Like mangas online, you could make a danbooru account and help translate new mangas being made. It's just an example, you can try anywhere really.

>random pop songs on the radio annoy me easily.

That's normal.

>I can't listen to music passively anymore

What about podcasts? Have you tried any of them?

>I get headaches if I'm not doing something interesting or am not focusing on something

Outside of the usual "Drink more water" you'll always hear, give meditation/yoga a go. They're all about breathing and trying to clear your mind of thoughts. I know it sounds like millennial/new age medicine shit but it does actually help. And even if it helps via placebo, what helps helps. I got no face sitting pics so here's an ass shot.

>>52204

>gelb

Dunno what that is, I look it up and I get something about germany? Dunno what it is but I'm assuming it's a normal art site right?

>get irritated from sitting still for so long.

You don't have to sit down, you can lie down on your bed or on some grass, as long as you don't fall asleep.

>>52205

>always trying to come off as evil and mysterious

To be fair, you've said in the past that you suffer from paranoia and anxiety, but still, putting up a front like that irl will be a waste of your time and energy. On the internet it doesn't matter cause, well, it's the internet who cares? Do whatever.

>It's a horrifying beast that threatens the lives of innocents and is obviously unnatural in nature, so it must be stopped.

So is your enemy some sort of literal beast/being out there hurting people or is it the concept itself of evil and hatred that you consider your enemy?

>I no longer fap, overeat or fantasize ideal situations

Overeating sure, fantasizing alright, but not fapping? Does the voice consider it a waste of time and energy or what? What does the voice say about having friends?

>where the "sword in the stone" is located

Ok tell me about it, i wanna know more about this.

Our mayor just signed an executive order declaring us a "Safe City" meaning cops can't ask anyone about their citizenship status. Kinda put a cloud over my whole weekend. Thanks, Hecatia.

Also the strongest opposition to communism in Gensokyo is a fucking tranny.

>>52210

Oh, sorry about that, ever thought of translating stuff here?

>>52211

>meaning cops can't ask anyone about their citizenship status

So they can't check if someone is an illegal immigrant or not? Or does it just mean they cannot ask the person directly and they have to go through a work around? U fokn wot m8? all cut u u no?

>>52213

What's the point of that? Did they think cops were asking too often or is it just some PC shit? What is there to gain? The miko is a real girly girl through and through.

>>52210

>>52212

I'm not asking you to translate whole mangas, just something like have a thread where someone could post a pic and you could give a rough translation to it. Like a general gist of what's being said.

>>52284

I would, but unfortunately I've only memorised around 300 or so out of the obligatory 2000 basic kanji.

I can translate some shit as long as it's not using any more complicated characters.

>>52301

Super rude, dude.

Came in to check up on you guys and leave a little song.

>>52198

How are you feeling now?

>>52221

Has the voice said any thing out of the ordinary recently?

>>52297

Have you thought more about it? I could help with typesetting if someone wanted, albeit I'm not the best. Also, have you given yoga a go yet?

>>52474

>give up on my favorite 2hu and acquire a new favorite.

That's quite strange, can you argue against it? Would the voice persist or would it eventually give up?

>>52474

what kind of monster would do that to a man, forcing him to give up on his favorite touhou

>>52477

Can the voice "see" things? As in, would it realize you are trying to trick it now that you have said this? Have you tried stopping the voice or getting rid of it/getting it to "move on"?

>>52478

As long as I call Hina my favorite 2hu, it's satisfied.

>Have you tried stopping the voice or getting rid of it/getting it to "move on"?

It'll only leave when I leave (die).

>>52473

>Have you thought more about it?

Yes and no.

It's the weekend now so I may do it.

>Also, have you given yoga a go yet?

Yes and I realised how inflexible I've gotten.

I should stretch more.

>>52518

You can make a thread whenever you feel up to it.

>>52519

I wanna be hugged by fluffy Miko

>>52542

She wants to hug you too, qt.

It's a calm day where I am and It's been a week since we chatted. So how are ye doing?

>>52503

>It'll only leave when I leave

That reminded me of this song and I've just found it today, you might like it.

So how's the alcohol problem treating you now fairy?

>>53322

Alcohol isn't a problem. Alcohol is the answer.

>>53361

>Hijiri cuck encourages others to drink the pain away like him.

Check the Hijiri thread. There was a fairy looking for help with a drinking problem. Not a single Hijiri fag lifted a figure to help him yet a Miko fag did. I just wanna check up on him now.

>>53366

>rushes somehow to the conclusion that I'm a Hijiri fag

I'm afraid that you're confusing me with someone else. Chill out, fairy, you should have a drink.

>>53368

Whatever you say, Hijiri nerd.

>>53512

Awesome dude!

>>53569

From the Liezi: "When a man is hated by people, he is disagreeable; when a man is loved by people, he is agreeable. That is the only measure." You have your conceptions of how you would be seen, but I can't help but think you don't actually know how you are. Not knowing is the root cause of anxiety. If you don't want to become a hermit, the only way you can overcome your anxieties is through talking to the townspeople. From the Liezi: "When they fall off a carriage, a sober man is surprised and hurts himself, but a drunkard will land sj00tleshly and only notice he's fallen after a while."

>>53620

https://8ch.net/settings.php?board=2hu

>>53622

>/trip-fag/

>>53569

You still there fairy?

>>52196 (OP)

How do i stop being a piece of shit? I tried to get better as a person earlier this year but i feel worst about myself as times goes on.

I have done horrible things in the last few months, things in witch there's no turning back. I tried to get my shit together however i painfully failed, all the bad choices i made, all the time lost.. i cant even look at my waifu anymore without remembering how much i suck.

Enough conscious to be aware of my situation and enough broken to do nothing about it, i just keep destroying myself. Im starting to give up.. please help.

>>56831

> I tried to get better as a person earlier this year but i feel worst about myself as times goes on.

Perhaps you are looking over the things you've done and are now regreting those things, thinking you cannot undo them. Remember, that is the old you, you re changing and improving yourself, that is the dead you and you are the new you.

>I have done horrible things in the last few months, things in witch there's no turning back.

I don't know what you did, you can change things for the better, you just have to figure out how and do it.

>I tried to get my shit together however i painfully failed

Try again, no one said you can stop trying.

>all the time lost

No matter how well you spent that time you will always feel it was wasted. They say the only feeling you have on your death bed is regret, learn to be content with yourself and what you do.

>i cant even look at my waifu anymore without remembering how much i suck.

Then you should try to fix yourself for her. And at least you are aware that what you did was wrong and you are trying to change.

>Enough conscious to be aware of my situation and enough broken to do nothing about it

Replace broken with lazy and that describes most people including me so you have that going for you. It's like the games, you keep trying again and again until you get better. Also there is the other fairy that's trying to help too.

I'm just now starting to get over an abusive relationship, but since she lived in a bad environment, I keep worrying about if she's okay or not, which just leads to random relapses of depression and emotional confusion.

>>56858

You're better off without her and she can go fuck herself. Give it time and when you do think of her and whatever problem you think she's in think "Why should I care?" to yourself. Hope you can find someone better dude.

Today i did what >>56864 said, i tried to meditate and accidently fell sleep. However when i woke up i apogolized to my waifu, cried a little and came to the conclusion that the only way to get out of this hole is getting my shit together again. So i get out of my bed and started working in some chores, i called my "better side" or at least that's what i think i did.

As for now i feel a little better with myself, i hope it last.

>>56833

>>56853

>>56864

Thanks for all the advice fairys, really needed to get it out of my chest, it was making me go hollow. This is just a little step to get things back on track.

>>56876

Thinking about things sometimes makes people feel better. I think it's better to think about what happens and prepare for what will than imagine what supposed goals should be.

>>56865

>whatever problem you think she's in think "Why should I care?" to yourself.

Every time I try this my mind loops back around to answering it, that even though she fucked with my emotions, there was a moment long ago when she really earnestly did give more of a damn about me than anyone besides my immediate family did, so even though I keep telling myself that she's the one that wanted to be a cunt and that she's the one that instigated most of our conflicts, I still feel like I'm the one who did something wrong, and that somehow her toying with me was my fault. Even if I step back and see that she objectively was to blame for it, my mind still goes back to some promises that I know I'll never be able to keep now, us sitting together overlooking the city, how we had a genuine laugh with each other and how almost all of our hobbies were the same (sans gaming). Before she really started to mess with my emotions, she became one of the only people who knew that I was diagnosed with depression (and I became one of the few people that knew her insecurities), and, at my lowest point, coaxed me out of suicidal thoughts. I keep coming back to her in my mind because I'm terrified that, even if the emotional abuse wouldn't have ever stopped if we stayed together, I'm never going to find anyone that can even acknowledge that side of me, and I'll never find someone who I can connect to on that level ever again. Most people would tell you different things about me if you asked them about me, but none of them would tell you that I'm an emotional trainwreck. Hell, I even have a harem at my work of MILFs that want me, and a small group of teens at a hobby shop and dojo that look up to me, so even if it means getting my mind battered and exploited, just having someone who understood what it's like to not just put on a mask every day not just to hide how badly I wanted to just curl up and disappear, but to be a big enough of a fucking thespian to play along with their idea that you're more than just 'okay,' you're a fucking winner.. that you're making enough money to live on your own at a time when most of your peers are swimming in student debt, that you're smart enough to take down some jackass's $1000 artifact EDH deck with a couple of bulk rares, or cunning enough to collapse someone on the ground by folding their arm just right after literally two tries... that none of them would ever get the idea that you would spend most nights either throwing your head into a pillow to cry yourself to sleep because it's never enough or screaming until you're over-exhausted to do little more than microwave some shit in the fridge to eat while shitposting on the internet, and that deep down you'll still always be an ugly, arrogant retard that turns away everyone who gets to know you except somebody who honestly couldn't know what else to do with you except fuck with you, and realizing that at least that was something... and caring if she gets shot or raped, or if she's happy is the closest thing to turnabout that you feel she deserves from you...

>>56912

>3dpd

>even once

serves you right

>>56912

Perhaps she only pretended to care to get close to you? If you can find one person who cares about you then perhaps you can find another?

>take down some jackass's $1000 artifact EDH deck with a couple of bulk rares

Noice.

>>56912

You see, people should date their equals. Inequality creates resentment, and that's not something a healthy relationship has. Bet that's the reason she bullied you - she got some inferiority complexes going. So keep that in mind and date someone who's about as good as you are. Smart, athletic, that kind of girl. And she should be from the same social class, too. If you're more alike, you get each other better, too.

By the way, don't you think Yuugi and Mokou would become good friends if they ever met?

>>56922

>>56916

Thanks fairies. It feels like I'm starting to move on from her, but I still have moments when I wonder. Nothing calling for time to stand still or anything, just curiosity.

>You see, people should date their equals

A couple guys at my dojo are talking about trying to hook me up with a girl that already has a boyfriend, but she seems to mesh with me pretty well. Nice appreciation for the arts, same temperament, similar hobbies. I'm not optimistic because of the challenge of stealing someone's girl, but if there's somewhere else out there besides the abuser, then no use hanging in the past, right?

>By the way, don't you think Yuugi and Mokou would become good friends if they ever met?

Only if Yuugi's saki dish didn't accidentally get lit.

>>57687

>hook me up with a girl that already has a boyfriend

Is the guy an ass? Cause if not then be careful, no nice guy wants to find out that by letting their girlfriend hang out with some other guy ruin their relationship.

>>58045

In terms of a more permanent solution to negative emotions you can exercise, which boots dopamine naturally, talk to people and make friends and play games with them or giving yourself goals to work towards like learning to draw from drawabox so setting exercise related goals.

>>58520

Sorry for the late response, do you have any irl friends? If not, ever consider board game clubs like I've mentioned before?

I just lost the closest thing I had at my workplace to 2hu buddies.

>>59411

Two coworkers of mine started to take a casual interest in the series after watching me, one of them thinking that Parsee's last spell card was "sick" (He missed the one where she shat flowers all over the place, or something). Eventually when I picked up LoLK, got to Clownpiece, and got stuck at her last spell card, I challenged one of them that bragged about beating the Impossible Game to "survive thirty seconds with 'the clown.'"

"The clown" became a small joke between the three of us for about a week while the third guy got challenged by the second to survive longer than he did.

The day I posted that, he finally gave it a whirl and tried to face Clownpiece's last card. We joked about him not lasting seven seconds "just like your wife told us." Then we pointed out that the other guy didn't last three. Then we laughed, asking for my time. 15 seconds. "Yeah, no surprise you lasted longer than either of us." We laughed, and went about the rest of the lunch break.

About an hour after the break, some people from our team, those two included, got a meeting invite for a conference from one of the higher-ups in our department, along with quite a large list of other people (about 100 total). A half hour later, the office received a mass email from the same person dismissing literally everyone in the building to spend the rest of the day working from home, since IT was "restructuring."

>mfw one fucking guy "That's going to be awkward since [2hu buddy A] and [2hu buddy B] are still in that meeting."

>Pointed out that the meeting invite and email were sent by the same person

>hfw putting two and two together

Being nice feels so right, but being a jerk feels so good. What would you do fairies?

>>59456

I've been falsely accused of a wretched crime. I will not confess to something I didn't do, but I coming very close to breaking.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin , hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

>>60252

>but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion

You could have a sociopathic disorder, but that doesn't mean you're not human.

>I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy

Perhaps you need to out put more energy in a more controlled manner, like in a gym.

Over all, I'd think seeing a psychologist would be very helpful.

>>60252

>posting a picture of yourself on indian plumber websites

It's just autism fairy, nothing to worry about.

>>60266

Only once, years ago.

>>60265

>Implying that's me

I think you're the autist here,friend.

>>60265

>>52196 (OP)

I am going to break.

>>63424

Why? What's happening?

>>63470

What do you want to do?

>>63470

Shall this become a portal thread ?

>>63470

>>63482

Drag her to a picnic, bitches love picnics.

>>63504

People here are gonna try to hurt you, do you want to try talking to me in private about this to help you?

>>63482

>My girlfriend and I

>>63504

>We haven't met irl yet.

Then she's not your damn girlfriend yet, you dumbass

>>63559

I hope you'll be able to make friends and won't walk the shorter path.

>>52196 (OP)

I cannot stop hating myself.

>>64131

Have you had this feeling your whole life or more recently/recent years? If the former then this is an ingrain disorder and you need a phycologist's help. If the later then you might remember an event that caused this change. It might not be huge, it could be a small event of a random childhood friend lying to you, but that could be enough. Your brain would latch onto that memory. You'll need to consider that event and let go of it to begin fixing this problem.

An alternative possibility is that you are/feel you are untrustworthy and so you project this onto everyone else. Developing and solidifying your moral compass and following it at all times can end this feeling. Repenting for past mistakes will work if you feel that is the problem.

Finally, you might just have simple trouble socializing. When you are in your shell/just coming out you can't feel you trust other people and that they're just using you. Continue talking to them and this feeling goes away.

One more thing, you might simply doubt yourself. You could try accomplishing personal goals or bettering skills you have to prove to yourself you are worth it.

Been meaning to do this.

>>52201

Has your willpower gotten better? How was the yoga? Also how's Nip lessons going?

>>52205

Has much happened to the voice in your head?

>>53512

How're you doing now?

>>53569

Did what we say help at all?

>>56876

How's things fairing now?

>>57687

Did you get with her or are ye at least friends? Have you moved on?

>>58520

Gotten any closer to someone dude?

>>59451

Still in contact with them? Got any new 2hu buddies?

>>59741

How's your family going? Can you prove your innocence or have you already dealt with/don't care about that problem?

>>63559

How's the gun club?

>>63648

What have you done that makes you hate you? Sorry for late reply.

>>64136

GTFO, of california. Do whatever it takes short of murder or theft to get out. Or at least the shithole situation part of it you described. Good luck bro.

>>64136

That's messed up, but thankfully that's in the past now and only a bad memory. I don't know how transfer freezes work but it's always worth a shot talking to your manager about your situation and he could help you out. I mean, 100 miles shows a lot of dedication to the job, hopefully he's agreeable and can do something. As for skills to meet people, I always recommend clubs, especially boardgames ones cause they're great places to meet people looking for friends and boardgame places usually have people with autism or other small disorders as regular customers so a lack of social skills won't stick out.

>>64138

Damn, that's a shame. There's no option to take a visit and try it out? The roommate is a good idea. The other idea I have is make your own club at the college, like a film or games club.

>>64135

>You are a mean bully

Where's the "You're a shallow cunt that no one likes" shit?

>should be ashamed of yourself.

Wow, this is just pathetic. You try and use me to help you stalk Tewi and then disappear when I call you out on lying. Now you're trying to guilt trip me? I'm not even gonna respond to you after this, dude.

>>64134

I haven't been on here for a long while, good to see you're still sticking around this thread.

>Has your willpower gotten better?

Not really, no. I suppose uni's various assignments are giving me something to do but it still feels kind of empty.

I finally managed to open up to my sister about some of my issues which helped get some weight off my shoulders but I haven't really changed my outlook on life or plans.

>How was the yoga?

Haven't really kept up with it. Every now and then I will take some time to do some stretches and stuff in the morning or afternoon, but most of the time I just don't have the motivation.

>Also how's Nip lessons going?

Well enough. I was top of my class in first year but I've now levelled out in second.

My biggest fault is that I have trouble formulating sentences on the fly while talking.

Writing is effortless but talking always trips me up.

I'm desperately lonely and lack the self worth to think putting my picture up on dating sites or asking girls out is worth trying.

>>64281

Exercise and eat healthier if you have not already, you don't need to go full /fit/izen. At the same time there is something about physical exercise that does the body and mind good.

>dating sites

Go join a club that isn't exclusively about dating, but something that provides a common interest so you can talk to people. The object here is not necessarily for you to go ask the first or every female out in that class or club or gym or group. But for you to develop or hone your skill in talking with other human beans.

Good luck faggo fairy.

>>64309

You are not alone

>>64255

If talking is the problem for you have you thought about being a professional translator for mangas and companies?

>>64281

I agree with >>64311 and also that Boardgame/cardgame clubs especially, cause people there are well used to people with social issues so you needn't worry or be too self conscious.

>>64237

Your purpose in life is to be happy. Whether that be family, friends, art, accomplishments or whatever. So figure out which of these you're missing and try it out.

>>64309

>>64314

>>64318

Look up pic related.

>>64327

If you feel the rabbit charm helped lower your nightmares then try a dream catcher, they're little native American trinkets hung up at windows that would catch nightmares like a net and allow dreams come through cause dreams were smaller that nightmares and thus pass through the holes in the webbing.

As for the memories, keep telling yourself the school, you and everyone there were retards and it's not worth your time dwelling on it. Over time your brain cares less and less, at least it did for me. Having better things to look forwards too is also a good way to stop looking at the past.

>>64134

>What have you done that makes you hate you? Sorry for late reply.

I hold myself to impossibly high standards that I inevitably fail and bottle up my subsequent frustration and anger.

>>64361

You should look up "where can a tenant learn about his rights". I dunno the situation exactly but if it's as bad as I think it is then it could be illegal to have THAT much clutter in your house.

> my dad dragging me to a bar and bragging about my brother to make me feel like shit while still tryig to look like a good parent.

Have you ever tried pointing out that that's how you feel about it?

>>64516

You need to understand you can't be perfect and that trying your best is good enough. Look into a mirror and think to yourself "You look fine, you're doing your best, you're in a good place in life."

>>64517

That sounds pretty good then.

>>64564

>You need to understand you can't be perfect and that trying your best is good enough. Look into a mirror and think to yourself "You look fine, you're doing your best, you're in a good place in life."

Thank you, I'll do that.

If only I could find someone as equally fucked up who I could understand, who I could exchange words with and just keep each other company. Maybe we could try to heal together. It's wishful thinking, I don't think I'm able to ever find someone like that.

>>64337

>If talking is the problem for you have you thought about being a professional translator for mangas and companies?

I'm sure my speaking ability will improve with time, especially while I'm living there where I will be forced to use it on the daily.

I was considering my options post-completion of my contract. First and foremost is teaching as I will have my Linguistics degree on my resume which will give me a leg up in the language teaching job marketplace.

If it turns out that I'm not fond of teaching after trying it for five years in nipland, then I'll probably go into interpreting or maybe try to get a job in localisation/translation while I learn Korean or brush up on my Serbian.

That is, if I decide not to neck after the five years.

>>65415

It sounds like these nightmares aren't constant, which is definitely a good thing. Recently I've been having nightmares of my autistic self and still am from school, but those come and go. They usually come up when I'm not preoccupied that day so my brain has nothing to come up with for a dream.

> trust issues

You'll need a psychologist to help with that, and some friends too. How's the move going? Unless I messed up and I'm thinking of someone else.

>>65422

I hope you don't kill yourself dude. Got many friends you care about?

>>65657

>Got many friends you care about?

Not really.

The one closer friend I have I haven't seen since high school, and the only reason we still hang out is that we occasionally play vidya on the weekends.

Otherwise, any other friends I haven't kept in touch with since graduating and the rest are just acquaintances from work/uni.

I feel like I've forgotten how to live my life and enjoy things. I just go through the motions and hardly indulge in the things I used to love, and the few things I once enjoyed that I still do leaves me feeling hollow and empty inside, and possibly guilt when I indulge in eating junk food or excessively masturbating, especially to bad fetishes. That is if I can even work up the energy/drive to masturbate.

All I do every day is get up, go to a shit job, come home, and sit around watching threads on 8chan not update. I barely even post apart from my obligations, and even then they all feel so cookie-cutter and repetitive. Like an endlessly looping record. I rarely do anything outside of what I feel like I have to take care of.

I sit around and do nothing. I hardly take care of myself or my possessions. I only get more angry and frustrated at the people around me, even though I care about them and want them to be happy. I feel like it's getting harder to love even my waifu. My heart is growing colder towards the ones I love and don't deserve that treatment, and I both fear and hate it. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what I want, and I don't know how to fix it. Even as a kid I've never known these things, but now that lack of ambition and goals has landed me in this negative spiral that's eating away at me.

It feels like whenever I take a break for longer than a week from the games, I regress a significant amount in skill, and I feel like I'm not making much progress when I do practice.

I just want to git gud. ;'(

>>66168

>>66180

Train him to be your perfect 2hu waifu (male).

>>66233

Look into noob beginner motorcycle class. See if there are any affordable local college class or similar, if you find friends there great. If not, move on and focus on learning motorcycle handling basics. Chicks still digs motorcycle no matter what (just stay away from the obvious Sturgis sluts and biker mamas for obvious troublesome reasons and you'll likely be ok) and being mobile gets you one step closer to

getting the fuck of commiefornia

It sounds like your family are assholes, your luck seems to be strangely bad, and your neighbor is trying to sell you a stolen bike. Get out as soon as you can out of the metaphorical, metaphysical, and geographical shithole you are in. It's not like you have anything to lose and a lot more to gain. Good luck brah.

>>64134

>Have you moved on?

She stopped going, but I've moved on. Good fucking GOD have I moved on, and I hate it.

The office MILF just asked me to go along with her on a weekend with her out of state with a few coworkers for a trip this weekend. I know for a fact that if I accept, then we're GOING to fuck like rabbits. She is a perfect 10. Good hair, nice thigh-shoulder ratio, height good for me, unbelievable chest... the works. Thing is that I can't turn long-term with her, and if I go then that's going to to be a thing then that's going to hang over the rest of my career here.

There's a woman at the office that I actually do want to get with, though. Younger, but chubbier and with a good pantyhose collection (nothing makes me more wild). Good attitude, shared hobbies... She's an A. Only thing is that I don't know if she feels the same way about me. Hell, I don't even know what people find attractive about me. I think I'm a fuckin dork.

Lastly there's a party that I'm attending in two weeks held by a neighbor that might also invite this cute girl that's interested in me. She's adorable - complete with freckles and some brattiness, who, ladt I heard, was working her ass off in two jobs. You ever meet a woman with two jobs? You ever meet a single woman with two jobs? The answers are synonymous. Only thing is that if she isn't there then I blow both chances.

Fuck. I miss dating military. I miss spilling out my heart in letters knowing that in the next day I would wake into, there would be one person I could devote myself to be better for. I miss having one I knew, instead of a handful of dice rolls.

Only downside is because of that I haven't had sex in a year and a half, so I should just go for all three and off myself when it turns to shit.

>>66243

Serious question: Except for California, where in the US is an okay place to live? Every time I have traveled out of the state, I just see economic destitution and drug problems so severe that the streets are nothing but meth niggas and junkies walking around. In CA this stuff is limited largely to the little shit towns around the center of the state. Being able to buy a gun without waiting 10 days and the ability to do a U-turn in a business district doesn't seem like a very good trade-off for having to live amongst the fucking living dead of 2018 rotten US of Scum. Where in flyover country is this NOT happening?

Pic related, it's Yuyuko eating a Habit burger.

>>66629

WV is exactly like that, but if you decide to live in some of the smaller towns you won't find anybody but white people and redneck trash (yes there's a difference). There's not much of a drug problem here, save for the occasional crackhead/opioid fiend. You'll probably have to drive a bit if you want to do anything, though

t. lives in wess virginney

I recently turned 20 and my life's going nowhere. I don't have the money to attend college without taking out a loan and there aren't any trade schools that aren't hours away, so my job options are limited to deadend service industry jobs. I have no friends, interests, or plans for the future; the only things I still enjoy are weightlifting and walking my family's dogs. I will never have a loving and loyal fox wife. It's probably only getting worse from here.

>>66634

Go to the military or a private-security company if you are a burger

>>66639

How do you go about joining a PMC?

>>66627

Work out. Honest to God, even if your face isn't really that great, taking care of yourself and walking upright does wonders. Even if you don't get /fit/ levels of sculpted, the pride you gain and the effects it has on your confidence matter more regardless.

>start asking about lodging

>use not wanting to pay for my own hotel room as an excuse not to spend money

>"I don't mind if you stay with me, but the others might think it's a little weird"

>mfw honestly can't tell if this means I'm uber-friendzoned (professional win) or she's going on the offense (personal win)

>>66634

Have you considered community college? If you don't make a lot of money, you can go for a two-year degree with grants or tuition that can be paid off with a scholarship or two, then go for an internship while you're there. Hell, even going online at that point is an option for class attendance.

Don't go for the military unless you're dead set on devoting the next four years of your life to your job. More power to you if you want to go in there, and you think it will improve your life, but 90% of anything the recruiter tells you about being able to drop out of boot camp or leave early is going to be a load of crap.

>>52196 (OP)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igdlfWkvQO8

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=igdlfWkvQO8

I'm a fucking newfag amongst even worse newfags. I never experienced Alice. I never experienced the Snacks era. I never experienced pre-2007-08 era Internet, or pre-Web 2.0. I will only ever know imageboard culture and Internet subculture at the beginning of its fall, at its own French Revolution, if you will. And the worse thing is, no one seems to remember even two years ago, because they're new, and the ones who have been around forever are so few, but how can I tell. Everything's fucking dying around me and I don't know what to do but hope that everything crashes and burns so that the normalfags will either find something else to rape and pillage or die off. Or maybe the new-nu ones will learn, in time. Will we have our own Caesar?

>>66640

Unless it's a more shady corporation, they have a website with available positions, like any other company. Last time I checked Blackwater Academi for example gives you the combat training for free if you sign a 5(?) year contract. Just need to fulfill their physical, mental & background requirements.

I'm also pretty sure that you can have some control about where you're getting deployed (simple bodyguard work in your own country, asset protection in moderately shit countries, razing villages counter-terrorism in africa and so on).

Alternatively France is surely not the only country that gives you citizenship in exchange for military service, if you want to get out of your country.

>>66676

>>66640

Forgot to mention, if you're seriously considering a PMC then ask /k/, they can probably tell you a lot more than I do.

>>66096

Sorry about not responding.

>to bad fetishes

That's not something you should hate yourself for.

As for the rest, I think you should start simple, go for a walk in a direction you haven't gone before, walk down an off shoot of a road you travel all the time, or a neighborhood you've never visited (just be careful if you live in a bad neighborhood). Walking around and getting fresh air is one part, but the other part is to give yourself that feeling of exploration that you haven't had in a while. Then try something new, maybe a new game/genre you don't play, or a sport like squash that you haven't tried (be prepared for some bullshit prices in some places) or a craft that you can have pride in like origami (It's really easy trust me) or roleplaying games (D&D is definitly not the only one but odds are it might be the only in-person one you find. Talk to your loved one about this and see if they'd like to give you a hand in this/ask if there's something they'd like to do that they haven't done before. For now, have that be your main goal.

>>66123

Taking a break can be a good thing, you come back and find you're much better. However, one thing you could do is play a similar game, for example I felt I was stuck at the same skill level in TF2 for a while and got sick of it, I then played Serious Sam 1 and when I came back to TF2 I felt better at the game and had a lot of fun as scout.

>>66604

I'm shit with relationships tbh, never been in one, you should be giving me advice, you're the guy with the anime harem going on. But anyway, I'd say not bother with the MILF or just keep it under wraps if you trust her, seeing as how you have two potential lifelong partners on your hands. Go with the freckles girl, if things don't work out then see if the pantyhose girl is still available.

>>66634

There'd be other people at the gym at you can have as lifting buddies, on top of the regular thing I say about clubs. As for fox wife, concentrate on friends, then girlfriends and then get fox ears to put on her. Also listen to >>66644

>>66639

>military

I'd personally not recommend this, the training sucks, can be dangerous/boring as shit all for a paycheck, stick with the deadend job for now, put it on your CV when heading for something else.

>private-security

Very different to the previous one, Ross talks about it in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXkxgRjzh0M&t=676 but the short of it is you'll just be a human scarecrow all day, you'd have to have been a cop to get a gun (but I mean, being a cop would be better than a solider). A bouncer is different however, it's you convincing trouble makers to fuck things up somewhere else if guard duty still interests you.

>>66644

>"I don't mind if you stay with me, but the others might think it's a little weird"

Sounds like professional win to me, but I'm autistic as shit so what would I know?

>>66660

>at its own French Revolution

Are you that guy who thought that King Louis 16 was a good king?

Posting hasn't been all that fun for a really long while. I wonder where all the good posters have gone? I mean, the site in general. 4chan too.

But I can't talk as freely anywhere else.

>>66683

Talked it out with the bossman. If I'm able to get up at 5:30 then I'll be able to start my shift earlier and work 30/week.

That's solved, I guess.

It's summer.

>>66772

summer is the perfect time to play some football

>>66772

>>66775

Summer is crap. I am tired of nothing but 105 degrees and oppressive sun every day for months on end. I want to move to somewhere with summers aren't totally awful, but the only places in the USA where that is the case is on the expensive west coast.

>>52196 (OP)

My dad gets angry easily, acts "soyish" for a lack of a better term, and my mother makes me uncomfortable and is often tired, and when she's tired she spits venom, so to speak. My brother hates me and my grandmother will spend the rest of her life in a nursing home. My only friend barely talks to me. The only boards worth going to don't have much discussion.

>>66837

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2NQSamaphI

>>66882

>at least she never cared about trying to get me to be my brother.

>>66915

Careful---stupidity is contagious.

>>52196 (OP)

I can't stop masturbating. I've been masturbating an average of three times for the past two months. Not only have I not been able to play fast-paced games or watch fast-paced shows, I have been a retard who has trouble feeling, which is also why I can't really watch any thing. I feel nothing but hatred and anger and frustration. My memory is practically fried. No energy. Eating/drinking certain things help bring some of it back but then I just fap again. So I'm stuck. I hate masturbating but it feels too good.

>>52196 (OP)

I want to tear her spats off and ravish that pussy :^), but I cannot.

>>67010

>read a hentai doujin of a guy using Reimu's body as a vessel of sorts, even though he's still alive

>jerks off with it while Reimu pleads him to stop, due to embarrassment

I came anyway, but I felt really bad for Reimu. The guy didn't even get his comeuppance.

>>67096

Did you make that desu~? I don't think it's a good idea to mix dead snownigger gods with Jap gods, even in jest desu~ Saved it anyway desu~ definitely delete it if it isn't your OC desu~!

>>67096

Butt how, when there are delicious Chen butts like here >>67095?

>>67099

>ywn drench a fairy with so much cum, she can't fly

Feels fucking good. I don't want any fairy to take my precious bodily fluids.

>>52196 (OP)

I want to hold a 2hu. It's been so long since I've held a female, and never not a younger relative.

>>52196 (OP)

>listen to 2hu music on YouTube

>get memetale recommendations

>>67305

Work is a good one, charities, you could try nightclubs/bars but I have no experience there.

>>67219

The music's good and the game was cute enough, too bad it got blown up so much.

>>67152

I'm not good at girlfriend stuff tbh, but holding a real girl would be better.

>>67099

It reminds me of this time a guy described one porn filmmaker to me. He'd just say shitty things to the girl before they'd blow him.

>So, did you go to college?

<Umm, yeah?

>Well, look at where that got you.

>>67010

Really should have responded earlier, sorry. Best thing to start with is exercise, just a walk to start with, I don't care if it's the middle of the night and you'll sleep soon or if it's raining, go for a 5/10 min walk with music. Don't go because I told you to, go because you want to, you won't feel good from it if someone else is telling you to do it. Any particular reason you can't watch fast paced stuff? If that's the case then give the shows a rest and listen to some podcasts, red letter media or audiobooks.

>permabanned from two boards, 9-week ban from two others

Not even for good reasons, like spam, which is what is baffling to me.

Why is 8chan such utter garbage?

>>67423

>Which ones? Depending on your answer you could be right or wrong about this.

禁則 事項 です~ but one of them is /christian/, for second pic related

>Because you need to lurk more.

Silly anon, I've been lurking since 2012! :^)

>>67440

I got banned from there too for pic related. A mod deleted the pic and I got banned cause I didn't apologies for posting it, not for posting it itself. /christian/ is way too up it's own ass. I saw one guy get perma'd because he made a "Catholic priest + kiddies" joke. And in the public log the vol made a huge paragraph explaining why he's a horrible person and that he should repent to god for making a haha funny joke on their super cereal board.

>INB4 pissy christcucks argue, complain and act like triggered /a/utists.